06x21 - When A Man Loves Two Women

[bunniefuu]

ACT ONE

Scene One - Frasier's Apartment.
In the kitchen, Daphne and Martin enter early in the morning.

Martin: You know what I could go for? Some fried eggs and bacon.
Daphne: [handing him a bowl] Here's your bran flakes.
Martin: Oh, fine!

They then go through a morning regime. Daphne opens the fridge.
As Martin takes something off the top shelf, she takes something off
the bottom shelf, then vice versa. Martin then picks up the toast as
it pops out, exclaiming "Oh hot!" and slamming it down on a plate that
Daphne is holding next to the toaster - their timing seems perfect.
Daphne then walks into the living room as Eddie barks at Martin.

Daphne: [calling] Don't give him any toast!
Martin: I'm not!

Martin throws Eddie a toast point, then walks into the room and sits
down at the table with Daphne. Throughout this next little bit, Martin
and Daphne are spreading butter and adding sugar without even looking.
Firstly, Martin gets the paper and splits it up.

Martin: [giving Daphne paper] Lifestyle. [giving himself paper]
Sports. [putting a huge chunk of paper on table] And
recycling.

Eddie then jumps up on to a chair and stares at them with lead in mouth.

Daphne: Yes, we see you, Eddie - 8:00 on the dot.
Martin: Well, he's a dog, what do you expect? He's a creature of
habit.

Eddie runs off as Frasier enters from his room in a robe.

Frasier: Good morning, all. [they ad-lib hellos, he heads into the
kitchen] Say, Dad. You remember that woman I went out
with on Valentine's Day but I wasn't quite sure if it was
a romantic thing?
Martin: Yeah, that new publicity woman at the station.

Frasier emerges from the kitchen with two coffee mugs.

Frasier: Yes, Cassandra Stone. Well, I asked her out again last night
and I got my answer.
Martin: [concluded] Oh, I'm sorry, Fras'.
Frasier: No, I'm not finished!
Martin: That's the spirit. You hang in there.
Daphne: You know, Dr. Crane, someone once said that long periods of
abstinence can actually refresh the soul.

Cassandra Stone enters in a blue robe.

Cassandra: Morning, everyone!
Frasier: Yes, well that someone was me and I was full of it!
Everyone, this is Cassandra.
Cassandra: You must be Frasier's dad. I've heard all about you.
Martin: [shaking her hand] Marty Crane.
Cassandra: Nice to meet you!

To his surprise, she then throws her arms around him in a warm hug.

Martin: Well, nice to meet YOU too!
Cassandra: You are so cute! Now I see where Frasier got those gorgeous
eyes.
Frasier: [laughing] Enough. This is Daphne Moon - my father's home
health care worker. [Daphne extends her hand]
Cassandra: [quickly] Hello.

She turns back to Frasier, leaving Daphne's hand hanging.

Martin: Are you going to join us for breakfast, Cassandra?
Cassandra: Oh, I could go for an English muffin.
Frasier: Well, perhaps our own English muffin could fetch that for
you.

Daphne just stares daggers at Frasier.

Frasier: Or I could get it-
Cassandra: No, I'll get it myself.

Cassandra disappears to the kitchen as the doorbell sounds.

Martin: Way to go, Fras, I like her!
Daphne: Gee, I wonder why. [mimicking] "Now I see where Frasier gets
those gorgeous eyes."

[N.B. Daphne's attempts at an American accent are the subject of comedy
in previous episodes like [1.21] "Travels With Martin" and [4.19]
"Three Dates & A Breakup," but here Jane Leeves does it fairly
effortlessly. See also [7.11] "The Fight Before Christmas."]

Frasier answers the door to Niles. He is dressed in his squash gear.

Frasier: Niles.
Niles: [entering] Hurry up and get dressed Frasier, we'll lose
our court. I must warn you I may be unbeatable today.
Our squash pro, Octavio, taught me a backhand slice that
could shave the bristles off a kiwi fruit.
Frasier: Well Niles, I'm afraid we may have to reschedule today.
You see, I... [innuendo] had a date last night.
Niles: [concluding] Oh, I'm sorry! Hey, but there's no sense
moping around. A brisk game of squash would be the best
thing for you - I can't think of a better way to lift your
spirits.
Cassandra: [enters from kitchen] Good morning.
Frasier: [to Niles] Keep thinking.

As Niles gapes at Cassandra, we FADE OUT.

OF ALL THE COFFEE JOINTS
IN ALL THE TOWNS
IN ALL THE WORLD...


Scene Two - Café Nervosa.
Later that day, Roz and Frasier are in the café chatting about last
night.

Frasier: I tell you, Roz, the entire evening was pure magic.
Roz: Well, I'm happy for you. You have been in a dry spell,
haven't you?
Frasier: Oh no, Roz, that was just the calm before the storm. I assure
you, we are in the midst of a full-blown love hurricane.
[laughs]
Roz: You were so much easier to be around when you were horny and
pathetic.
Frasier: Oh, sorry Roz, I have been monopolizing the conversation.
So what's going on with you?
Roz: Well, actually it has been a really exciting week. Of course
Alice's first birthday party is this Sunday and we're having
twelve of her little friends over. She loves bears, so the
whole party's going to be this bear theme - party favours,
bear cake; I'm going to dress up like a bear, I think, and
do a little bear dance...

Frasier tries to look interested but Roz just gets embarrassed.

Roz: So, that's really great about you and Cassandra!
Frasier: [excited] Yes, we're really hitting it off, I think...

At that moment Faye Moskowitz passes their table and notices Frasier.

Faye: Frasier?
Frasier: Faye.
Faye: Hi.
Frasier: Oh my God, wow. Hi, it's been a while. Gosh, Faye Moskowitz,
this is my producer, Roz Doyle. [they ad-lib hellos] So what
have you been up to?
Faye: Well, I just got back from Paris.
Frasier: Really? I didn't even know you'd gone.
Faye: You didn't get my message?
Roz: Oh Frasier, before I forget: Faye called - she's going to
France for a month. I'm sorry.
Faye: Well, it's great to see you. We should get together for
coffee sometime.
Frasier: I'd love to.
Roz: [getting up] Well I'm on my way out, why don't you take my
seat?
Faye: Uh, thanks. [to Frasier] If that's all right with you?
Frasier: Of course.
Faye: Great, well I'll put some money into my meter.

Faye exits as Frasier takes Roz aside.

Frasier: What are you doing?! I can't have coffee with her.
Roz: Why not? Obviously she's still interested.
Frasier: I'm seeing Cassandra, for God's sakes. I can't date two
people at once.
Roz: It doesn't have to be on the same night. Although if you're
good at faking a headache and you don't mind getting changed
in the car...
Frasier: Roz!
Roz: Well, did you tell Cassandra you were going to be exclusive
to her?
Frasier: No...
Roz: So, then you're just dating. Relax, it's supposed to be fun.
Just see where it takes you.
Frasier: Well, that sort of lifestyle is all right for some people, but
not for me. I'm a one-woman man... if that!
Roz: Okay, suit yourself - keep it platonic.
Frasier: Well, that's easy for you to say. How do you tell somebody
that you're attracted to them but you just can't sleep with
them?
Roz: I guess you just say... you just say... I'll ask around.

Roz exits the café.

FADE TO:

Scene Three - Frasier's Apartment.
It's the following morning when Daphne and Martin enter the kitchen
again.

Martin: You know what I feel like this morning? Some French toast
and sausage patties.
Daphne: Here's your bran flakes.
Martin: Oh, fine.

Daphne and Martin go through the same regime as they did in Scene
One. Everything goes identically - even Martin feeding Eddie some
toast to which Daphne shouts:

Daphne: You're not giving him any toast, are you?
Martin: Of course not.

Daphne and Martin enter the room to greet Frasier who is again
dressed in his robe. Again he goes to the kitchen.

Frasier: Oh, good morning.
Daphne: Morning.
Martin: I didn't hear you come in last night. You have a date?

Frasier comes back from the kitchen holding up two mugs.

Daphne: Well, I guess that answers that.
Martin: Well, ease up there, Cassandra's a great gal - women like her
don't come along every day.

Faye enters, wearing the same blue robe Cassandra did the previous day.

Faye: Morning.
Daphne: No, they certainly don't!
Frasier: Dad, Daphne, you remember Faye.
Faye: Hi Martin, it's good to see you again.
Martin: Yeah, likewise.
Faye: And Daphne, you look gorgeous. Did you get your hair cut
since the last time I saw you?
Daphne: [overwhelmed by compliments] Well, yes I did. Can I fix you
some breakfast?
Faye: I have really got to run. I'm running late and I still have
to call my friend at the museum to get tickets for that
Seurat exhibit. I just hope it's not sold out.
Frasier: Well if it is: Que Seurat, Seurat. [laughs]
Faye: That was funnier the first time!
Frasier: Yeah. [they kiss]

Faye heads off to Frasier's bedroom as the three chat.

Martin: What happened to Cassandra?
Daphne: Obviously he dumped her for someone better.
Frasier: I haven't dumped anyone.
Daphne: What, you mean you're dating both of them?
Frasier: No, I didn't intend to. It's just that - well, I ran into
Faye yesterday and I was about to tell her about Cassandra.
It's just that we were enjoying our coffee so much that
coffee turned into dinner, and then dinner turned into
drinks, and then drinks turned into, well... coffee again!

The doorbell sounds. Frasier walks to the door carrying two full
cups of coffee.

Frasier: Damn! I completely forgot I rescheduled squash with Niles.
[shouts through door] Don't be angry at me for still being
in my robe.

However when he opens the door it's Cassandra who's popped in on her
way to work.

Cassandra: I won't, I wish I were in mine!
Frasier: Cassandra. [worried] What a surprise.
Cassandra: I brought you some pastries.
Frasier: Oh, isn't that thoughtful of you. [takes them]
Cassandra: [enters] Hi Martin, Dixie.
Frasier: [before Daphne erupts] Cassandra! You know, I'd love it
if you could stay; [guides her back to the door] It's just
that I've got to go and pick up my brother for a game of
squash.
Niles: [enters] Morning, all.
Frasier: Well, isn't that a timesaver! You know, I've still got to
go get dressed anyway, [opens door; hopefully]
and I'll just see you back at the station?
Cassandra: Okay, alright, have a good day. [just then] Oh, you know,
I'll just use the powder room.

She shuts the powder room door behind her.

Frasier: [whispering] This is a disaster!
Niles: What is?

Faye, dressed, enters from the bedroom.

Faye: Hi, Niles.
Niles: Oh, I'm up to speed!
Frasier: Morning.
Faye: Well, I guess I'll just be...

Frasier suddenly shushes her and begins whispering.

Faye: What?
Frasier: Uh, we just noticed there's a nest of baby hummingbirds on
the balcony. And we're just keeping our voices down. You
run along.
Faye: [skeptical] Hummingbirds made it to the 19th floor?
Frasier: Yes, well they're-they're Himalayan mountain hummers.
Faye: Uh huh.
Frasier: Very rare. Bye bye.
Faye: Okay, I'll see you later, Frasier. [they kiss]

Faye finally leaves through the front door. Frasier stands there in
relief after the two women are kept apart. However at that moment,
Cassandra opens the powder room door which slams right into Frasier.

Cassandra: What are you doing?
Frasier: [covering] I was just standing guard. The door is...
lock's broken and sometimes Dad just wanders in.

Cassandra glances at Martin, who looks mad while Daphne looks smug.

Cassandra: Well, I know you've got your game so I'll just get out of
your hair.
Frasier: Right.
Cassandra: Goodbye, everyone.

Cassandra about to leave but Frasier looks through the spy hole in
the door and sees Faye still waiting for the elevator.

Frasier: Aren't I going to get a hug first?
Cassandra: Of course.

Frasier basically pins her against the door as he takes another look
through the spy hole.

Cassandra: Are you alright?
Frasier: Oh yes, it's just so hard to say goodbye to you.

He sees Faye getting into the lift and the doors closing. He releases
Cassandra.

Frasier: Well, time's a wasting, off you go, bye-bye!

Frasier shuts the door and nearly collapses in relief.

Niles: Got anymore hiding in the grotto, Hef?
Frasier: Oh, for God's sakes... oh, I'm just not up to this sort of
thing - what made me think I could juggle?
Martin: I sure as hell don't know - you couldn't catch a balloon
'til you were ten.
Frasier: Yes, thank you, Dad! You see, my problem is that each of them
appeals to different sides of my personality. Faye is artistic
and cerebral and cultured, and Cassandra is passionate and fun
and spontaneous.
Martin: Well, my vote sure goes for Cassandra.
Daphne: Oh, you would say that. Any young woman who shows you any
attention, you're ready to sign over your pension check!
I think he should go for Faye.
Martin: Oh, Faye, Faye - if he wants some boring, artsy-fartsy
conversation, he's got Niles!

Daphne nods in agreement with this sentence as Niles just stares at
him until Frasier breaks the ice:

Frasier: Yes, well my point is that I'm really torn here. I feel as if
I honestly cannot choose.
Niles: I think I might be able to help you with this. [takes out a
quarter] Heads, it's Faye; Tails, Cassandra.
Daphne: [sarcastic] Oh, this is the sort of thing that makes a woman
feel really special!
Frasier: Niles, you're actually going to flip a coin? The decision
cannot be made that simply.
Martin: Well, it's not going to be that simple. The chances of
Niles catching that quarter are about the same as you...
Frasier: Enough, Dad!
Niles: Just go with me on this, Frasier. Heads, it's Faye; tails,
Cassandra.

He is about to flip the coin when he notices Martin and Daphne
looking at him waiting for him to drop it. Niles decides he can
better them and takes the coin straight to the back of his hand.

Niles: And the winner is... [points at Frasier] Admit it! You want
me to say one name more than the other.
Frasier: Niles, you're right, I do - Cassandra.
Martin/Daphne: [raising his arms] Yes!/Oh!
Niles: There you have it.
Frasier: Thank you, thank you, Niles. Wow, what a relief. You know,
my life was perfectly happy before Faye came back, you know?
Yes, yes, it's Cassandra - she's the one. Next time I see
Faye I'll just have to tell her it's over. Oh gosh, Niles,
I'm sorry - I'm afraid we've lost our court again. Do you
mind if we reschedule it just once more?
Niles: All right, that's fine.
Martin: I've got to hand it to you, Frasier. You had a tough decision
to make, but you made it. Heck, I can't even decide whether
to have the strawberry or the grape jelly.
Niles: Well, Dad, I stil have my trusty quarter. Let's say heads,
grape; tails, strawberry.

Niles flips the coin and it smacks him right between the eyes.
He falls over in pain, taking half of Frasier's ornaments with
him as he goes.

Martin: [shaking his head] You've got to wonder what goes on, on
that squash court.

Daphne nods in agreement.

End Of Act One. (Time: 11:30)

Act Two.

Scene Four - Frasier's Apartment.
The following morning, identical to the first line of Act One,
Martin and Daphne enter the kitchen.

Martin: You know what I could go for this morning? A big old Spanish
omelet.
Daphne: Here's your bran flakes.

However, this time Martin just stares at it. He is upset because the
bowl isn't his usual yellow one - it's red.

Martin: What's that?
Daphne: Your yellow bowl broke in the dishwasher.
Martin: Well, don't you have another one?
Daphne: Afraid not.
Martin: Well - red, yellow - what difference does it make?

Yet it does make a difference. When Daphne opens the fridge they both
go to the top shelf at the same time and hurt their heads. They then
do the same on the bottom shelf. Then when Daphne shuts the fridge
door she is still rubbing her head when Martin throws the toast out
of the toaster. It falls to the floor.

Martin: No, I don't like this red bowl - it's thrown everything off!
Daphne: You know, I think we do have another yellow bowl. Why don't
you go and sit down and I'll fetch it for you.
Martin: Okay. [leaves]
Daphne: [takes Eddie's bowl] Back off, I need this!

As Daphne takes Eddie's bowl and begins to wash it, Martin enters the
living room to find Frasier perched on the sofa arm.

Frasier: Oh, morning, Dad.
Martin: Everything go alright with Faye last night? She didn't take
the breakup too hard, did she?
Frasier: Not really.
Martin: Well, I'm sure she realizes, pretty as she is, that she won't
be alone for long.

Faye enters in the blue robe.

Faye: Good morning, Martin.
Martin: What'd I tell you? [doorbell rings; to Faye] Hi, how you
doing? I'll get this.

As he goes to the door, Faye drops her voice and playfully drums
her fists on Frasier's chest.

Faye: I had an incredible time last night.
Frasier: Me too. [kisses her]

Martin opens the door to Niles, wearing his squash gear.

Niles: Morning, all! [sees Frasier & Faye] Oh, forget it.

He leaves.

FADE TO:

Scene Two - Café Nervosa.
Later that day, Niles and Frasier are sitting down at the front table
in the café. They are discussing the morning.

Frasier: Niles. [sits down]
Niles: Frasier.
Frasier: Glad you're here. Look, I'm so sorry about this morning.
Niles: Oh, oh, oh, not at all, I ended up playing an exhilarating
game with Chip Emery.
Frasier: Oh.
Niles: I won two out of three sets, and if you recall, Chip was
club champion four years running.
Frasier: Yes, and I also recall that that record comes with an
asterisk: I believe his streak was interrupted by World
w*r Two.
Niles: [pouring milk into his coffee] It was Korea and you know it!
Frasier: [to waiter] Can I have my usual, please?
Niles: So why was Faye at your apartment this morning?
Frasier: Well, actually I almost made a terrible mistake. Last night,
I was prepared to break things off with her - and then suddenly
we fell into this marvelous conversation about architecture.
And as it turns out, she detests the design of the Bilbao art
museum as much as I do.
Niles: [understanding] And you almost let her go.
Frasier: Yes, exactly! Well, you know, Cassandra is a wonderful woman.
But, well, Faye and I have a, a deeper connection - and to be
fair, actually, she was the first to plant her flag on "Terra
Frasier."
Niles: I'm starting to think Napoleon had a Frasier complex.
Frasier: Yes, all right!

Cassandra comes into the cafe.

Frasier: Oh, there's Cassandra. I asked her here for coffee - I was
going to tell her that we can't see each other any longer.
Niles: [getting up] Good luck.
Frasier: Thank you, thank you, Niles.

As Niles orders another coffee at the bar, Frasier calls Cassandra
over and they sit at the table.

Frasier: Cassandra.
Cassandra: Hi, honey.
Frasier: Hi. [kisses her]
Cassandra: [to waiter] Double Espresso, please. [to Frasier] I have
great news.
Frasier: Really?
Cassandra: Those new promos are working wonders. I just got the
numbers and you're really scoring with women between the
ages of 25 and 49.
Frasier: [breaking the ice] Well, that's not always a good thing.
Cassandra: You alright?
Frasier: Actually, I-I wanted to talk to you about our relationship.
You see, I...
Cassandra: I know where we're going: a serious talk.
Frasier: You see, there comes a time in every relationship when you
have to decide...
Cassandra: I know, whether we're going to be exclusive or not. I've
been wanting to talk to you about that too.
Frasier: [happy] You have?
Cassandra: Yes. You see, I thought you should know that I've been
seeing someone else.
Frasier: [confused] Really?!
Cassandra: Does that bother you?
Frasier: No, no, no, no, actually, not at all.
Cassandra: Oh, good.
Frasier: Anyway, what I wanted to say was that- [still worried]
well, how long you been seeing this other fellow?
Cassandra: Not very long. You're not upset, are you?
Frasier: No, no, no, no. Actually, I was about to say- well, uh,
what does he do?
Cassandra: He owns his own venture capital firm. Although he spends
most of his time racing sail boats and rebuilding trails
for the Sierra Club.
Frasier: Oh really, seems a little unfocused, doesn't he?!

Frasier angrily reaches for a plastic stirrer, and like a madman
swirls his sugar into his coffee. Cassandra picks up the signs.

Cassandra: You are upset, aren't you?
Frasier: No, no, no, no.
Cassandra: Really, there's no reason to be jealous of Sloan!
Frasier: [chuckling] Believe me, I am not jealous of Sloan!
[licking his stirrer] If anything, I pity the man who has
to go through life with a pretentious name like that!
Cassandra: Frasier!
Frasier: Alright, fine, fine. You know what, let's just drop the
whole thing, alright?
Cassandra: Now, about those new promos....
Frasier: Cassandra, I want us to be exclusive!
Cassandra: What?
Frasier: Yes well, I'm the kind of person who can make a decision
and commit to it. And I was hoping that you might be that
sort of person too.
Cassandra: Frasier, I'm so touched. If you only want us to be with
each other - that's great. I was supposed to see Sloan
tonight, but I'm going to call him and cancel.
Frasier: Oh, that's wonderful - oh my god, that means we can spend
the night together.

Frasier and Cassandra kiss as she leaves to call Sloan. Niles comes
over to the table, sees Frasier's ear-to-ear grin, and understands.

Niles: Looks like she took the news well - are you insane?!
Frasier: Niles, I almost made a terrible mistake.
Niles: What could possibly have happened in the last four minutes
to make you change your mind again?
Frasier: Actually, when Cassandra told me that she was seeing somebody
else, it awakened something in me.
Niles: Oh, petty jealousy?
Frasier: No! The realization that I couldn't bear to lose her.
Niles: Yes, and the minute you see Faye you'll reverse yourself
again!
Frasier: No, no, I won't. I'll prove it to you. Cassandra is the one!
I'm sure of it.

Frasier takes his mobile and phones Faye.

Frasier: [to Niles] Oh, her machine. [into phone] Yes, Faye - it's
Frasier. Uh, listen, I won't be able to join you for dinner
tonight, but perhaps you could call me later - we need to
talk. [hangs up] There, I've done it. Nothing says, "It's
over between us" quite like the phrase "we need to talk."
You see, that was my problem, actually - I kept leaving the
door open.
Niles: Well, I'm very proud of you, Frasier.
Frasier: Thank you.
Niles: An enlightened man is he who can learn from his mistakes.
Squash tomorrow morning?
Frasier: Nine AM, my place.
Niles: See you then.

Niles walks out of the café as Cassandra comes down after chatting
with Sloan.

Cassandra: Well, I called him. [sits with Frasier] I probably should
feel guilty but I'm just so glad it's just the two of us
now.
Frasier: I'm ecstatic.
Cassandra: I know a cute little bed-and-breakfast we can go to this
weekend.
Frasier: Oh, really?
Cassandra: [to waiter bringing her coffee] Thank you.

As Cassandra begins chatting to Frasier, he begins mentally reviewing
the situation:

Frasier: [v.o] What a relief this is. I've made my choice. Look at
her, I've found an angel... an angel who wears an awful lot
of makeup. I've never noticed that before. Faye doesn't
paint her face up like that.
Cassandra: And they have the cutest little four poster beds in each room.
Frasier: That sounds lovely. [v.o] My, she uses the word "cute" a
lot. I'm cute, this café is cute, now the bed is cute.
Faye used the word "jejeune" last night.
Cassandra: Oh, you know, I meant to tell you, I really liked how you
handled that nasty caller yesterday. It was such a clever
way of...
Frasier: [v.o] God, all she talks about is work, work, work. And
now I'll see her every morning before work, and at work,
and after work. I feel trapped! Can't breathe... Wait!
What are you doing? It's just your fear talking. She's
a wonderful woman. She's the one. She's perfect!
Cassandra: And then I ran into Roz after the show, and she told me
the cutest little story that...
Frasier: [aloud] Cassandra... we need to talk.

FADE TO:

Scene Three - Faye's Apartment.
That evening, someone is frantically ringing the doorbell.
Faye, wearing a short, tide-dyed t-shirt, answers the door.

Faye: Frasier?
Frasier: Faye, hi. [enters] Uh, look, we-we really need to talk.
Faye: I know, I got your message. I thought you couldn't see me
tonight.
Frasier: Yes, well I just had some unfinished business with the
promotions department, but that's all done now.
Faye: Well, I wish you would had called, I would have put something
on. [she pulls her t-shirt down]
Frasier: No, no, you look beautiful. Listen, Faye: I-I want us to be
exclusive.
Faye: [surprised] What?
Frasier: Yes, I want to take our relationship to the next level.
I just want to be with you.
Faye: Wow. I'm a little surprised. You said "we need to talk" on
the machine, and you know, that usually means it's over.
Frasier: [acting the innocent] Really? I had no idea.
Faye: Well, this is wonderful!

They hug.

Frasier: Oh God, so it's just you and me. God, this is exhilarating.
Faye: Well, this is turning out to be the best day ever. Because,
well, okay, Chris McKenna - the restaurant critic? - he comes
over to the restaurant this morning and...

As Faye tells her little story, Frasier again reviews his situation.

Frasier: [v.o] What is she thinking with that ridiculous shirt?
Tie-dyed?! Stop it, Frasier. You can't do this to yourself.
This is nothing more than the natural panic of finally making
your choice.
Faye: ...and it turned out that the printer had messed up, and the
menu said "flab" instead of "flan!"
Frasier: [laughs] That is so precious. [v.o] And so is she, precious.
My Faye - Faye, as in Faye-vourite. This feels so much better
now that I've relaxed. I was about to doom this whole
relationship with my neurotic nitpicking. But it's clear
sailing now.
Faye: Well, enough about me. How was your day?
Frasier: Well, it certainly ended well. [she smiles and caresses his
cheek] Although something funny did happen at the station –
it was during the second hour of my show...
Faye: [v.o] My God, he really does love to talk about himself.
[glances down] Is that another new pair of shoes? He's got
more shoes than I do!

Faye then decides it's best not to nitpick, and laughs at his joke as
we FADE OUT.

Credits:

Frasier's Apartment
In the kitchen, Eddie doesn't seem to be touching his water.
It is in the red bowl that Martin couldn't use at the start
of Act Two. So Daphne goes into the room to get Martin's
yellow bowl that originally was Eddie's.

Martin refuses to give it to her until he eats his last bran flake.
Daphne then rushes into the kitchen with it and fills it with water.
She then lays it down in front of Eddie who merrily drinks from it.
Guest Appearances
Special Guest Stars
VIRGINIA MADSEN as Cassandra
AMY BRENNEMAN as Faye
Quick Synopsis {kathy churay}

ACT ONE

Scene One - Frasier's Apartment - Morning

Martin and Daphne are in the kitchen, maneuvering around one another
with the balletic grace and split-second timing of long practice.
They've obviously got it down to a science, including the same old
ritual complaints and Martin feeding the dog a forbidden piece of
toast.

They move to the living room with breakfast and Frasier emerges from
his room in a cheerful mood. He reveals that he has asked out
Cassandra again, the same women he dated ambiguously in the
Valentine's day episode. Martin and Daphne jump to the obvious
conclusion and start comforting him over his failed romance, only to
be embarrassed when Cassandra herself emerges from the bedroom in a
dressing gown. She is full of flattery and compliments for Martin,
who is thoroughly charmed, though she all but ignores Daphne.
Frasier suggests Daphne make breakfast for Cassandra, but Daphne just
glares and Cassandra goes off to the kitchen to make it herself as
Daphne does a dead-on imitation of Cassandra's flattery, complete
with American accent.

Niles comes to the door in his squash outfit, full of reproof for
Frasier at not even being dressed for their game. Frasier tells him
they will have to reschedule because he had a date last night. Niles
too leaps to conclusions and starts comforting Frasier. "A brisk
game of squash will be the best thing for you. I can't think of a
better way to lift your spirits." As Cassandra emerges from the
kitchen, Frasier remarks dryly, "Keep thinking."


Of All The Coffee Joints In All The Towns In All The World...


Scene Two - Cafe Nervosa

Frasier is having coffee with Roz and smugly recounting the latest
chapter of his romance with Cassandra. Roz is a bit nauseated by him
but tries gamely to stay interested. Finally Frasier asks about her
life, and Roz excitedly tells him the plans for Alice's first
birthday party the following Sunday. Frasier just looks at her
blankly and Roz gives up trying to keep his attention, changing the
subject back to Frasier and his love life.

Just then Faye Moskowitz happens by. Frasier greets her with a big
hug and Faye tells him she just got back from a month in France. She
had left him a message but Roz forgot to deliver it. Roz sees which
way the wind is blowing and gets up to leave, giving her seat to
Faye. Faye happily accepts and goes outside to put money in her
parking meter. Frasier panics and says he can't have coffee with
Faye because he's dating Cassandra. Roz asks him whether he and and
Cassandra have agreed to date each other exclusively, and Frasier has
to admit they haven't. In that case, Roz advises, he's under no
obligation not to see other women, although he could keep things
platonic with Faye if that would make him feel better. He asks her
how to tell Faye such a thing, but Roz has never had to do that and
can't think of the words.


Scene Three - Frasier's Apartment - The Next Morning

Martin and Daphne are making breakfast again, doing their usual
graceful ballet around one another. As they move to the breakfast
table Frasier enters in his dressing gown, and Martin asks him if he
had a date the night before. In answer Frasier holds up two coffee
cups instead of his usual one, and Martin compliments him on his
choice of women. "Women like Cassandra don't come along every day."
Daphne is amused when the woman who comes out of the bedroom in one
of Frasier's bathrobes is not Cassandra but Faye. Faye greets them
and compliments Daphne on her new haircut. Daphne beams and offers
to fix her breakfast, but Faye declines and heads for the bedroom to
get dressed.

Frasier is following her with the coffee when the doorbell rings, and
it's Cassandra with a bag of pastry. Frasier nervously begs off and
tells her that he has a squash game with Niles, so Cassandra starts
to leave, only to make a side trip to the powder room. Frasier
grimly admits Niles, who has shown up for the rescheduled squash
game.

Frasier: (sotto voce) "This is a disaster!"
Niles: "What is?"
Faye: (now fully dressed) "Hi, Niles."
Niles: "Oh, I'm up to speed!"

Frasier hustles Faye quickly out of the apartment just in time as
Cassandra exits the bathroom and tries to leave. Frasier keeps
hugging her and playing for time until he can see through the front
door peephole that Faye has boarded the elevator and left Then he
practically shoves Cassandra out the door.

Niles teases him about his plethora of women and Frasier defends
himself by saying that each of them appeals to a different side of
his personality -- Cassandra to the passionate, earthy side and Faye
to the cultural, arty side. Martin makes it clear he prefers
Cassandra and Daphne gives him a hard time about his susceptibility
to flattery. Niles attempts to help Frasier decide by offering to
flip a coin, but stops at the last minute and forces Frasier to admit
he wants one woman to be the winner of the coin toss. Frasier
finally comes clean -- Cassandra is the one he prefers, to Martin's
delight and Daphne's consternation. Martinc compliments Frasier on
his ability to make a tough choice, saying that he himself can't
decide between two kinds of jam. Niles offers to help Martin decide
and flips the coin, hitting himself in the head and causing one of
his patented disastrous Niles pratfalls. Martin and Daphne don't
bat an eye.


ACT TWO

Scene One - Frasier's Apartment - The Next Morning

Martin and Daphne are doing their morning ballet, only this time
Martin's favorite yellow cereal bowl has broken in the dishwasher and
he has to use a different one. This is enough to throw off his
entire morning ritual, and he and Daphne keep bumping into one
another till Daphne offers to find another yellow bowl somewhere
around. She pushes Martin out of the kitchen and grabs Eddie's
yellow water bowl to give it a quick wash.

Martin asks Frasier how his breakup with Faye had gone the day
before, but doesn't need to wonder for long as Faye once again
appears in Frasier's bathrobe. Niles shows up at the front door
ready for squash, but promptly turns around and leaves in disgust
when he sees Faye.


Scene Two - Cafe Nervosa - Later That Day

Niles is having coffee as Frasier bustles in to apologize for missing
the squash game for the third time. Niles is trying to understand
Frasier's logic in spending the night with Faye, and Frasier explains
that his conversation with Faye had just led him to understand that
he and Faye had a deeper connection than with Cassandra. In fact, he
has asked Cassandra to meet him at the cafe so that he can tell her
goodbye. Just then she comes into the cafe, and Niles makes himself
scarce.

Cassandra sits down and Frasier begins the conversation tensely.
Cassandra clearly thinks he's going to call things off and tells him
not to feel bad -- she's been dating someone else. Frasier tries to
complete his speech but is badly thrown by Cassandra's news. In
fact, he's so overcome with jealousy that he ends up asking her to
date him exclusively. Cassandra is pleased and begins to chatter on
happily, as in voiceover we hear Frasier's doubts begin to surface
about her every little flaw. She goes off to make a phone call to
her other boyfriend and call off that evening's date, and Niles
comes over to the table, having seen the whole thing from across the
room.

Niles gave Frasier a hard time about his sudden change of heart.
Frasier, of course, insists that Cassandra is the only woman for him,
and calls Faye his cell phone to break it off with her right then.
She isn't home, so he leaves a message cancelling their dinner plans
for that evening and telling her ominously, "We need to talk." But
as soon as Cassandra returns to the table his doubts return, and he
breaks things off with her.

Scene Three - Faye's Apartment - That Evening

Frasier comes to Faye's apartment and asks her to date him
exclusively. Faye is surprised and happy and tells him that she
will. They sit on the couch and Frasier's doubts begin running
audibly through his mind again, only this time they were immediately
followed by Faye's doubts about Frasier, which we can also hear.
"Are those new shoes again? He has more shoes than I do..."

Credits:

Frasier's Apartment - Morning

Daphne gives Eddie some water from the red bowl that Martin rejected
the day before. Obviously it isn't Eddie's favorite because he won't
drink from it. Daphne goes to the dining room and hovers over Martin
until he finishes eating his breakfast cereal and hands the bowl over
to her disgustedly. Daphne bolts to the kitchen and fills it with
water for Eddie, who drinks happily.