Transcripts - Forever Dreaming

'Yee-haw!'

Hazzard County, where
there are certain basics

that you can count on.

The law of gravity for instance.

That says that any
car that goes up

usually comes back down.

The Duke family. They
all do all bad things.

And Miz Emma Tisdale,
she delivers the US mail

with lots of
tender, lovin' care.

In addition to being
the postmistress

Miz Tisdale is also the
hottest two-wheeler in town.

Miz Emma cooks.

She also happens to be
awful sweet to ol' Uncle Jesse.

Hi, Jesse.

Emma, you be
careful on that thing.

You're gonna get yourself hurt.

Mail's gotta go through.

Miz Tisdale sure has
her hook made it for you.

Why don't you
give her a lil' break

and invite her to that
next Grange dance, huh?

Why don't you just keep
your eyes on the road.

And if ol' Bo keeps
his eye on the road

he's gonna see
somethin' mighty strange.

Even for Hazzard.

Where'd that phony
double white line come from?

What?

Guess who's here?

Cletus.

Oh, dang, dang, dang!
That Grange meetin'

took longer than
I thought it would.

I'm late for my chores now.

That's all I gotta hear,
Uncle Jesse. Y'all hang on.

Cletus is all wet.
He'll drip dry.

- I think so.
- Alright, Bo.

Mornin', Mr. Smith, guess
you're here to pick up your mail.

Yeah, that's right.

Another load of mail
came in for ya this mornin'.

There ya are. All
addressed to box .

Thanks.

Hold it.

Identification, please?

I've been comin' in here
every mornin' for a week now.

Regulations. Sorry.

Okay, take a number.

I'm the only one in here.

I know. Regulations.

Number one.

You're next. Take it away.

Hey.

You know, you
sure got me curious.

All that mail comin'
in here every day.

What's it for?

Ah, ah, ah. Regulations.

Regulations can be a nuisance

but this is one time I
think it's gonna pay off.

Miz Tisdale ain't
just fast. She's smart.

And she ain't the only
one curious about this fella.

What's he doin' hangin'
around that ol' sawmill?

Alright, come on in, Slocum.

Uh-huh, it figures.
Anything nefarious and illegal

ol' Boss Hogg's gonna have

his fat little paws
in it somewheres.

Oh, that's it Oh, I love it.

Let's see.

- Ooh, look at all this.
- Look at this.

Ah! We're running in luck now.

- Luck?
- Yeah.

And all 'em ads in 'em
out-of-town newspaper

like this.

"Own a piece of
paradise, just mail in $

"to P.O. Box ,
Hazzard County and you...

"And you will receive

a genuine official
land gold certificate..."

I can read.

"Proclaiming your ownership
of a beautiful view lot

"in the most
scenic spot in Dixie.

Hazzard Highlands."

There ain't no
Hazzard Highlands.

Now, you just get back to work

stuffin' them certificates
in them envelopes.

You know them fancy
certificates we just printed up.

We wanna give them suckers
somethin' for their $ .

Alright, Flash,
Now you start lickin'

and we're gonna lick our
way right into fifty percent

of the fortune.

Or, is it..

Fifty percent of fifty percent?

Meanwhile, Bo and Luke
had dropped Jesse and Daisy

off at the farm.

And they were headin' into
town using the back route.

Uh-oh. That looks like
the sheriff comin' overland.

'Oh, my gosh! Are you alright?'

'I-I didn't mean to
cut you off like that.'

Oh, I'm awfully sorry,
uh, I'm afraid I wasn't

really watching
where I was drivin'.

- 'Are you okay?'
- Yeah, we're fine now.

Doop, that ain't the sheriff.

Oh, uh, I-I'm Bo Duke
and this is my cousin, Luke.

- Hi. Sue Ann. Sue Ann Blake.
- Pleased to meet ya.

Gee, maybe you
fellas can help me?

Oh, well, you can
just think of us as the..

Ha-Hazzard County welcome wagon.

Well, I've been lookin'
all over for a place

called Hazzard Highlands
and I haven't had a bit of luck.

Hazzard Highlands?

I bought a lot there with the
most beautiful view ever seen.

The view from
here's pretty good.

Mighty pretty certificate,
but we've been livin' here

and I never heard no place
called Hazzard Highlands.

- You, Bo?
- 'No.'

But tell you what being as
we're almost neighbors and all

I'd be willing to
help you find it.

I'll drive. Luke, you stay
here and watch the car.

That's fine, really. Thanks,
but I think I'll manage.

And I'm sorry again
about the accident.

- Hey, no problem.
- Thank you.

It's alright. Excuse me.

Back at his hideout, Boss
was receivin' a phone call

that made him lose his appetite.

Which usually requires
somethin' like a w*r..

Or bankruptcy.

What's wrong, Boss?

Somethin' rotten
in your fat burger?

No, fathead. Something's
rotten at Capital City.

I just got tipped off

that a US postal
inspector is on his way

down here to Hazzard

to investigate some kind
of mail fraud. Mm-mm-mm.

Mail fraud? Wooie!

Hold your tongue.
They're onto us.

Slocum, you're gonna
have to blow town.

You're the only link between
us and that post office box.

What about that old bat
that works there? She knows.

'Miz Tisdale Little Bit?'

Yeah, she know you, but she
knows you as Mr. John Smith.

Yeah, that's why I
gave you that ID card

with a phony name and address.

You see, I told you the
Boss is always thinkin'.

Listen, that US postal inspector
fella ain't gonna rest happy

until he nails somebody, right?

Right.

'What if we made it look
like this whole operation'

was being run by none
other than the aforesaid

Miz Tisdale.

You got it.

But, listen, if we're
gonna pin it on...

Yeah, don't say it out loud.

Alright, Slocum, get on your way

and don't show your face
around here again, hear me?

Get out of here, Slocum.

- I got my appetite back again.
- Oh, so have I.

Uh-uh-uh. You
ain't got time to eat.

No, you're on your
way to the post office.

And when Miz
Tisdale ain't lookin'

you're gonna plant this
here incriminating evidence

all over the place.

You stay here and
watch the hooter.

Sheriff, am I glad to see you.

I'd be mighty appreciative
if you would mind the place.

I gotta run over to
Cooter's with my 'cycle.

Over to Cooter's? Well,
I don't know if I can..

- Hey!
- Ow! What?

I'm due for my
thousand mile checkup.

Be sure you get the IDs
and make 'em take a number.

Well, I'll..

Quick as the devil.

Well, this is gonna be easier
than fallin' off Boss' wallet.

Let's see now.

Ooh, there..

Oh, oh, oh. Quit gouging me.

Ooh..

Sheriff, you're just the
man I've been looking for.

I am? You are..

Would you, would you mind
taking a number, please?

My name is Blake.
US postal inspector.

Ooh, that's pretty. That's...

I'm investing a possible
mail fraud involving

a phony land development
called The Hazzard Highlands.

- 'Did you ever hear of it?'
- Hazzard..

Hazzard.. No.

Yes. Of course not,
lady. You tell me. Here.

Well, where's the postal
mistress, Miz Emma Tisdale?

Well, I don't know. She
went out for a little bit.

Listen, uh, I don't want
to tell anybody else this

but, you know, she's been
acting awful suspicious lately.

That is one of the
reasons I'm in here.

I'm doing a little bit of
investigating on my own.

In fact, I was just
looking around here

when you came in and gouged me.

Ooh, ooh, lookie,
here, what I done found.

What is that?

Hazzard Highlands. Wait..

You got one? That's good.

You see what I see?

Oh, yeah, that car
belongs to that sweetheart

who gave you the brush-off.

If at first, you don't succeed..

Howdy.

- And here.
- More Hazzard Highlands?

- Yep.
- Look.

There's a mailing list.

Now, doesn't that put
the cow in the barn?

That definitely proves
Miz Tisdale is guilty.

Guilty of what?

I'll have to ask
you not to interfere.

This is an official
investigation.

'That's right. She's an official
government postal inspector.'

See, Miz Tisdale, she
is guilty of mail fraud.

And this is all the
evidence we need.

Mail fraud? Miz Tisdale?

She's only guilty of having
a yen for Uncle Jesse.

Get on outta here before
I cuff you and stuff you

for interfering with
official business.

Just get on.

- We're leavin' anyway.
- We're going.

They just, they come in
here just to gall my soul.

I swear Boss Hogg's
gotta be involved in this.

We better tip off Miz Tisdale.

You know, I think I saw her
going over towards Cooter's.

- Yeah.
- Alright.

Friends and neighbors,
you're about to meet

a member of Hazzard's
oldest and only Chinese family.

The Fongs.

Everybody loves Billy
Joe and his sister, Scarlet.

Well, hush my puppies! If it
ain't them good ol' Duke boys.

- How y'all doing?
- Hey, Billy Joe.

I moseyed over here
to borrow Cooter's torch.

Got me a little welding
to do on my wok here.

- That's nice.
- How y'all doing?

Wooie. Take a look at that.

Miz Tisdale, while I'm
fixing up your motorcycle

you can use this
one here for a loaner.

I hope this doo-hickey
don't cut down on my speed.

You know how I
like to let her rip.

Miz Tisdale, there's a US postal
inspector at your post office.

Looks like her and Rosco are
gonna accuse you of mail fraud.

- Mail fraud? Me?
- You.

They gotta be sucking
out of a bent straw.

Well, that's kinda what
we figured, Miz Tisdale.

That frosts me. I'll toot over
there and straighten him out.

Uh, just hold on a second. It
looks like some sort of setup.

So we figured
you better lay low.

You can hide at our farm.

Hide out? Me? No way, Jose.

Did you say your farm?

Yes, ma'am.

With your Uncle Jesse?

He's there most of the time.

Woo.

Hey, y'all, Rosco's coming
out of the post office.

Miz Tisdale, get in the
back of the General Lee.

Yeah, come on.
Here, give me those.

Yeah, now just hold on a second.

I got me an idea. There
you go, sweetheart.

- Ready? Go.
- Woo-hoo!

Billy Joe, you are the
closest to Miz Tisdale's size.

You're gonna have to give
us a big favor here, alright?

Hot dang! You
got it, good buddy.

- Is this gonna fit ya?
- Okay.

She said she was headed
towards Cooter's garage over there.

Look! In fact, there
she is right now.

Alright. You're
looking good now.

She's getting on, she's
getting on her motorcycle.

Oh..

- Looking good.
- Don't get fresh, y'all.

Alright, Miz Tisdale. I
see ya, ya little sneak.

Alright, come on.
Get outta here.

Hot pursuit.

We forgot to ask if he
could drive that thing.

Yee-haw!

Out of the way.

Now, this could get
messy. Y'all hang on.

I'm gonna go look up that
word warp to see what that fella

was wailing on.

Yee-haw!

Okay, y'all, anything
else I can do for you?

What the hoot's going on?

Look, Miz Tisdale, everything's
cool. Now stay low. Get down.

- We catch ya on the flipside.
- Yeah. Alright, see you.

It's a crazy town.

I never noticed.

Uh, not now, Flash.
We're in hot pursuit.

We'll catch that
speedin' little dillinger.

Inspector, you haven't
met Flash, have you?

Inspector, this is Flash.
Flash, this is inspector.

Officer Coltrane, do you always
have this dog riding with you?

Well, I didn't used
to. Cletus used to.

But she has a
higher IQ, you see.

You should say
hello to the inspector.

Look out!

That must have
scuffed my vehicle.

Out of the frying pan and
into the fire must've been

invented for the Duke boys.

Yup. That's Cletus.

He he.

'Put some pedal on the metal.'

What a time for
Cletus to show up!

- Miz Tisdale, stay down now.
- 'Oh, I am. I am.'

Oh-oh..

Now, friends, you're
about to witness a homily.

Just 'cause things go
bad, watch your mouth

or they'll get worse.

Well, I hope Cletus' got
his drip-dry uniform on.

He ain't gonna need
his -hour deodorant

if he keeps taking
showers like this.

Ever see a man look like
he'd bitten into an apple

and found half a worm
and didn't wanna let on?

Well, that's ol' Uncle
Jesse's predicament.

Now, Jesse, he's a gentleman.

Right off, he did his best to
make Miz Tisdale feel welcome.

Emma, I want you to know
that our house is your house.

- And you're sure welcome.
- Mm-hmm.

Oh, that's so sweet of you,
Jesse, and thank you, Daisy.

- Sure.
- Don't you worry about a thing.

We'll find out who's trying
to pin that land deal on you.

And if my suspicions
are right, I got a feeling

his initials are gonna
turn out to be J.D. Hogg.

'What else is new?'

Y'all, Billy Joe made it.

Billy Joe, stash that
cycle up in the barn

and we'll give you
a ride back to town.

Y'all got it, good buddy.

He's some piece of work.

Listen, we better
head back into town

and find that gal
postal inspector

and talk some sense into her.

And make sure that she's running
my post office in a fit manner.

Don't worry about
it, Miz Tisdale. Okay?

Just, uh, make yourself at home.

Yeah, don't worry.

Uncle Jesse here is gonna take
good care of you, Miz Tisdale.

I'll see y'all.

You know, Jesse, I'm
just dying to see your room.

Uh, yeah. Uh..

Oh, look at that.

- A big bowlful of popcorn.
- Yummy, yummy.

You know something?

I never would have guessed
that a US postal inspector

would turn out to be female.

Ain't that nice?

You know.. Hey,
watch that, will ya.

You know something?

Like you said, everybody
knows that Miz Tisdale

has never been in
trouble with the law.

But everybody also knows
she's a little bit squirrely.

I mean, riding on a motorcycle
at her age and doing wheelies.

Hm. There's no telling what
she might be capable of.

- She's crazy as a kook.
- Mm-hm.

Mr. Hogg, I seriously doubt
that Miz Tisdale is capable

of operating this entire mail
fraud operation all by herself.

You do?

'Well, there has to be others
involved. Don't you agree?'

- Others? What others?
- Others? What others?

Huh! I don't know but I intend

to do some
investigating and find out.

No, no!

Will you call me if
you hear anything?

Now, wait a minute! Don't go.

- Now wait a minute. Don't go.
- Don't go.

- Listen, you come back.
- Come back.

Oh, great..

- Oh, oh!
- Oh, no, no!

Turn it off! What's
this lever here?

I broke it. I broke the thing.

Turn it off! Turn
if off, will ya.

Turn it off!

Where's the.. Where's the..

Get the plug, will ya.

Get the plug! Where's the plug?

Where's the plug for it?

Turn it off! Oh! Ah!

Hello!

Hey, Sue Ann, we
gotta talk to you.

I don't care what kind
of evidence Rosco's got.

There's no way Miz Tisdale
dreamed up Hazzard Highlands.

What we figured you should do

is go talk to this
John Smith fella.

He's been picking up the
packages at Miz Tisdale's.

With a name like John Smith,
he's gotta be using a phony ID.

How do you know
who's picking up the mail?

'And when were you
talking to Miz Tisdale?'

Sue Ann, Miz Tisdale
is a friend of the family.

We know the situation
here in the county.

Isn't there any way
we can work together?

I insist both of
you stay out of this.

I trust I've made
myself perfectly clear.

Good day, gentlemen.

Oh, my! Lookie, lookie.
Do you see what I see?

- Yeah.
- Listen.

If that female
inspector is so sure

that someone else is in on
that mail fraud with Miz Tisdale

let's just accommodate her.

- Accommodate her.
- Come on. Come on.

The only decent lead we
got is this John Smith fella.

- Let's talk with Miz Tisdale.
- Alright.

- Now, Rosco.
- What?

- Like I said.
- Yup!

You take this here
incriminating evidence.

- Yeah.
- Alright. Go to the Duke farm.

You plant that
all over the place.

Ooh, yeah. Plant.

And then when you're
finished, you call in

and I'll come running
with that inspector gal.

Then we'll catch
the whole caboodle.

The whole caboodle.

- Alright, get moving.
- Alright.

First, I'm going to plug this
in and have myself a snack.

Argh! Rosco, I'll pop
you! No, don't do that!

Turn it off, will ya.

What did you do that
for? Where's the plug?

Where's the plug? Turn
it off! Turn it off, will ya.

Find out anything?

We didn't find out a lot

but we did get a
Capital City Gazette.

If you'll look in section two

you'll see an ad for
Hazzard Highlands lots.

I'll call Scoop, see
if he can fill us in.

'Give me Scoop Whittman
at the Capital City Gazette.'

What you..

That's Miz Tisdale's.
Ooh, ooh, ooh!

Boss, this is Rosco P.
Coltrane. All conditions are go.

I'll meet you at
Ol' Mill Crossroad.

I'm gone.

- Come on. Oh, there you are.
- Mr. Hogg.

My sheriff found
her, just like I said.

- Where?
- Get in here.

No, no, not you. Get in there.

- I got it.
- There you are. Get in here.

Come on, we're going after them.

Oh, thanks, Scoop.
Really appreciate it.

- Dang it!
- What's the matter?

- John Smith again.
- They got anythin' on him?

The gal who took the ad said
she can't remember how he looks

and that he paid cash. No
receipt, no check, nothing.

If all 'em suckers are
payin' bucks a shot

that fella's gotta
be loaded with cash.

If J.D.'s involved, he
sure is a-layin' low.

There's Rosco. Pull up to him.

- Hey, what'd you find out?
- Good news, good news.

Miz Tisdale's hiding
out on the Duke farm.

Oh, Miz Tisdale at Duke
Farm. Good, good, good!

Alright. Now, Inspector Blake.

I'm gonna show you how
the law in Hazzard operates.

Watch this. You're
gonna love it.

Ma'am, we're gonna
use a flank in movement.

- Which one is that?
- We're gonna spread out.

And then we're gonna sneak
up on 'em from both sides.

- You got that?
- Oh, yeah! Then just squeeze!

That's it.

Alright. Go. Move
it, Rosco! Move it.

- Maintain the radio silent.
- Right!

- Turn off the CB.
- Right.

- What're you waiting for?
- I'm ready.

Let's go. Rosco, Come on.

- 'He's going that way.'
- 'We're going this way.'

'You go that way. Come on.'

Cletus, sure you got
your CB turned off?

Positive, Boss. There's
a little button here.

Pressed the wrong button.

- You pushed the wrong button.
- It's stuck!

- Oh oh!
- Y'all, it's a raid.

Pea-brain Coltrane must've
figured out Miz Tisdale's here.

Listen, Uncle Jesse

Daisy'll take the jeep,
we'll take the General.

We'll do some cover for you.

Take Miz Tisdale,
make a run for it.

- Let's go.
- Alright!

Geronimo!

'This is the part I love best!'

No! Let's take my
motorcycle. It's faster.

Now, you sure you know
how to ride this thing?

Jesse, get in and don't
forget to put on your helmet.

'Cause I ain't
moving until you do.

Now hang on, Jesse. Here we go.

Alright! As long
as this thing is on.

Rosco, they're running
for it. Get after 'em.

Get after 'em.

Here we go!

Hang on Jesse! Hang on!

You just keep your
hands on those metal bars.

Luke, trouble up ahead.

Why should things change now?

Get away. Go!

Well, Bo and Luke are
the first line of defense.

What you reckon they'll do?

Get it! On the
way! Don't hit it.

Oh no, you don't, Cletus.

No, you go right..

That Daisy! Not
bad for a girl, huh?

'I tell you, I'm made of steel.'

'Cletus, you bumbling..'

'I'm driving back.'

Go on, move it fast!

'Hold it! Hold it! Hold it!'

Ain't this fun, Jesse?

Go, Miz Tisdale. Go!

Yee-haw!

Eat dust, you turkey!

You keep your eye
on the road, woman.

- Blast it!
- Oh!

You know that girl's
getting herself an education.

You're all wet.

After they got through
congratulating themselves

on their escape, Miz Tisdale
and the Dukes realized

that they were
all fugitives now.

And with the US mail involved

that made it a federal rap.

I feel awful about getting
you nice folks in this mess.

Y'all can go to jail
just for helpin' me.

Emma, don't worry about
it. What are friends for?

We'll get you out of this mess
soon as we find a hideout.

Cooter's is out.
Everybody'll look for us there.

Billy Joe Fong.

He offered to help and
he's got that storeroom

right behind his CB shop.

- You got it!
- That's a good idea.

'Let's hit it!'

Uh, Emma, it's fun and all

but I think I'm gonna
ride with the boys.

Keep your helmet on,
Jesse. We're blastin' off.

Wait, wait. Will ya
hold it just out here.

And so the hole in the barn
g*ng stashed their vehicles

and came sneakin' into town.

And the boys were right.

Billy Joe Fong was
thrilled to put 'em up.

Yes, siree, Bob.

There ain't nothing like
good ol' southern hospitality.

Y'all make yourself
to home now, y'hear?

Set yourselves down. I'll
whoop you up a fine dinner.

Southern fried wonton,
sweet and sour hog chows

and chitlin chow mein.

You ain't lived till you try
to eat grits with chopsticks.

It's kind of you, Billy Joe, but
we got our own cookin' to do.

We ain't yet hooked that
John Smith up to Boss Hogg.

- Let's go get that sucker.
- Hold your horses a second.

What with Rosco following us

ain't no tellin' what's
gonna happen.

You'd be better
off staying here.

Yeah, you'll be safer here.

Well, if you say so, but I'm
too nervous to stay alone.

You know, you might've
hit on somethin' there.

Uncle Jesse, you can run
the whole operation from here

over the CB. We'll see ya later.

Uh, boys? Uh, uh, Daisy?

Uncle Jesse, things will be
nice and cozy for y'all here.

Hurry back, yeah?

Alright, go on, go on.
Go on, go on, go on.

Go on, go on, go on.

Hold it. Hold it. Alright.

Well, gentlemen,
you have shown me

how the law in Hazzard
operates, alright.

That was without a doubt
the most ludicrous, outrageous

asinine police operation
I have ever seen.

You enjoy hot pursuit, huh?

Thank you very much,
ma'am. We try to please.

You were born stupid and you've
been losing ground ever since.

- I was...
- Hush.

If you want me, I'll
be in the post office.

- Yeah, alright, then. Alright.
- Nice drivin' with you.

Cletus, will you just
hush your dipstick.

Boss, it's all his
fault, anyway.

Oh, dipstick, huh?

I'll have you know dipsticks
are rich 'cause they're in oil.

Now just hush,
hush, both of you!

I mean, you're a disgrace to
the uniform, you know that?

- Look at you.
- You go get cleaned up.

Both of you, go
round up the Dukes.

Don't worry about it. We'll
cover all the crossroads.

Well, I'm bringing in
reinforcements of my own.

Oh, you are?

Uh, reinforcements? Did
you say reinforcements?

- I'm calling Slocum.
- Who?

To come here with some muscle.

Of course, when 'em mail sacks
with money for Hazzard Highlands

arrive at the post office
tomorrow morning at

I aim to make it a
very special delivery.

Ooh, special
delivery, I love it.

Ooh!

Ooh, ooh.

Unaware that Boss was
bringin' in reinforcements

the Duke dragnet
spread out high and low

tryin' to find out Boss' hideout

without gettin'
caught themselves.

Daisy went to the
ol' Indian caves.

Bo and Luke scouted
Boss' ol' steel sites.

There's nothing but
snakes and cobwebs here

at the ol' Indian caves.

There's no luck up here in
ol' Boss Hogg's steel site.

Oh, dang, I was hopin'
you'd find them there.

Well, you better go on
to the ol' coffin works.

- 'Will you stop that?'
- Stop what?

'Oh, not you, not
you. Get-get-get goin'.

Well, as you can see,
the searching party

wasn't having any more
luck than Miz Tisdale.

But Rosco and Cletus
must have stepped in

a mess of four-leaf clovers.

Out huntin' for 'em Dukes

they got luckier than
a rabbit with six feet.

Ooh, ooh, ooh..

Cletus, there they are.

Alright, let's block the road.

Good, this is the best part.

We got us a roadblock up ahead.

Hang on.

No, not again!

Looks like Cletus ain't
gonna need that Sunday bath

for another couple of months.

Y'all should have seen
ol' Cletus in the gym class.

So when the dawn broke
over Hazzard like thunder

the hunt continued
for the Hogg hideout.

And Boss' reinforcements
were right on schedule.

'Now, didn't Miz Tisdale say'

'that John Smith fella
was drivin' a blue sedan?'

- Yeah.
- Let's go get him.

'Alright.'

Come on.

That mail truck always arrives
at the Hazzard Post Office

at a.m. sharp.

- Well, we'll be there.
- That's right.

Yeah, the only thing wrong is

you boys still can't show
your faces around here.

Now, we got all that covered.

Perfect. You boys think
of everything, don't you?

Alright, now..

After you boys
grab 'em mail bags

here's what we're gonna do.

There's somebody out there.

Shh, quick, quick,
put your mask on.

I think we're about to have
a Hazzard confrontation.

Two on two.

Hey!

Bo, he's got a g*n!

Easy. What you guys
got against us anyway?

Can we talk this over?

Bad news, bad news.

What a lousy time for those
Duke boys to show up, right?

- Wrong.
- Wrong?

Yeah. This couldn't
have been better

if I had wished it
from the tooth fairy.

Are you kiddin' me?
Why would you wish...

Oh, will you just wait,
watch, and learn?

Alright, good work,
boys. Good work.

Now, this turn of events means

we're gonna change
our plans a little bit.

We ain't gonna forget the heist?

No, siree, Bob.
Not on your life.

What we're gonna do is

we're gonna be able to pin this
whole stickup on the Duke boys.

Hey, Nelson, you go in there
and grab one of their wallets.

I got it. We're gonna drop
it when we make the hit.

'Yeah, you got it, alright.'

What are you doing?

You got it?

- Here you go.
- Oh, good.

That's right.

Well, they won't be
needin' this no more.

Alright, here you are, Bo Duke.

Bo Duke!

'Make sure you accidently
drop that thing during the grab.'

- Right.
- Hm-hm.

Alright, now, come on.

Let's see if we can find
that clunker car of theirs.

Uh, we just gotta
give it a tune down.

You know what I
mean? Just in case.

- They left us our knives.
- Ha ha ha.

- Here it is.
- Yep.

Alright, get that hood
up and start pullin'.

- Go on, everything outta there.
- Just strip it outta there.

'I don't want nothin'
to work in this.'

Now that's like assaulting
a member of the family.

- Gimme that. Gimme that.
- Be careful.

Trust me.

Well, that takes care
of that clunker car.

Alright now. Come
on, let's get a move on.

It's time to play post office.

Do you ever think about
sharpening this thing?

Here you go. Well,
here, lemme do that.

Ride back to town.

What you suppose
they took my wallet for?

I got three bucks in it.

It also had your ID in it.

They might be setting
us up for somethin'.

We still ain't figured a way
to pin Boss Hogg in with this.

Not until now, we ain't.

Does that look familiar?

Woo!

It can't be more that o'clock.

What's Boss Hogg doing
floating around here that early?

o'clock! Bo,
we're slowing down.

What's o'clock
gotta do with anything?

o'clock is when the mail's
delivered to the post office.

Somebody's gotta go in there
and pick up bags of $ bills.

That's right, now
let's get outta here.

Now when Boss gets up early

it means trouble for everybody.

And this time, it's the US mail.

Oh, would you look at that.

Those dirty crooks
done wreck the General.

They tore this
engine clean apart.

Yeah.

Hey, wait a minute.

- Here's the spark wire.
- Distributor.

- The air cleaner here.
- Couple more wires over here.

Let's try to find all the parts
and stick 'em back together.

Alright.

Ah, here's another wire.

Look, I'll start with
this. You keep looking.

' - .'

You got that
Duke fella's wallet?

- Yeah.
- Alright.

All ready for the drop.

Morning. a.m., right on time.

Ah! I'll get it.

Alright, sugar. I'll take that.

Now, wait a minute.
This is the US mail.

Cool it, honey, and
you won't get hurt.

We seen it.

Yeah, we seen 'em rob the mail.

Yeah, we saw the
whole pea-picking thing.

One of 'em dropped this
wallet. It belongs to Bo Duke.

See, I knew it. It
was those Duke boys.

Look at that. It is Bo Duke.

Oh, my. Don't you worry
now, Inspector Blake.

We'll catch 'em thieving Dukes.

- We will.
- Come on, sheriff.

We are goin' to.

And she thought it was gonna
be easy when she left Atlanta.

Alright, say your
prayers and turn her over.

- Hey, hey.
- 'Dang, we did it.'

Nab it.

Wouldn't you think
'em boys could call in?

Argh!

Rosco, you know everything's
working out just perfect now.

Oh, gyuh, gyuh, gyuh.

Now, as soon as we
get back to the hideout

I'll take over 'em mail bags,
pay off 'em two stooges.

- And send 'em on their way.
- On their way.

And then I'll arrest the Duke
boys for stealing the US mail.

Yeah.

Then they sure gonna be
shipped off to the federal pen.

Ship 'em off.

'Deputy Cletus
calling sheriff. Over.'

'Calling sheriff, Duke boys
just robbed the post office.'

'Come on, sheriff.'

Held up the post office!

'Em boys wouldn't
do something like that.

What in tarnation's
goin' on out there?

There's only one way to
find out. Let's get crackin'.

Looks like Jesse's in more
trouble than Bo and Luke.

'Sheriff Rosco Coltrane..'

Luke, you were so
right about that frame-up.

Now, we gotta catch
'em fellas. Come on.

Duke boys just robbed
the post office, sheriff.

Oh, why don't you tell me what
to do? I don't know what to do.

Duke boys robbed post office.

- Will you drive with me?
- Not on your life.

Look out, Cletus.

You know, it's a wonder
ol' Cletus don't grow gills.

I gotta get a wet suit.

Now then, here we go.

First of, the bad boys were
heading back to the hideout

to divvy up the money
with ol' Boss and Rosco.

And the postal lady,
bless her lil' ol' heart

was trying to stop all this.

And Jesse was facing
a true test of manhood.

Riding with Miz Tisdale..

Hang on.

Again.

And Bo and Luke,
who just got free

were heading back to town when..

That's 'em.

- No! Oh, no.
- Woo!

'Go after 'em.'

'Em Duke boys. Step on it.

Now we got everybody
going in the same direction.

Ain't that slick?

Careful now.

Alright, Duke boys.
Just pull it over.

'This is ol' Rosco.'

They didn't hear you.
Scream it out the window.

Pull it up.

- They can't hear..
- Oh!

'Pull it over now.
I'm serious now.'

'Alright, alright, come in..'

That's showin' him Rosco.

Slow down now, Emma.

Yee-haw!

Now just watch it, Emma.

What's that?

'It's the post office
lady. She is loony.'

'Hang on, Jesse.'

What are you thinkin' of doing?

Yeow! Yee-haw!

No!

Whoa!

'Emma!'

Bo, I seen it. But
I do not believe it.

Alright, come on out.

Rosco, grab 'em Duke boys.

And arrest them under charge
of mail fraud and robbery.

I got the evidence right here.

Hold on a second, Boss.

We found us a piece of
evidence over at your hideout site.

'I think it'll be mighty
incriminating in court.'

- Where did you find that?
- Is it yours?

- Oh, damn.
- 'What's going on here?'

Oh, Inspector Blake.

See, we found 'em
dangerous criminals, didn't we?

'Rosco, you cuff
'em and stuff 'em.'

And as quick as you
can say double cross

ol' Boss did a switch.

He not only turned over
Slocum and his pal in

as the two masked crooks
that framed the Dukes

but he laid off the
mail fraud on 'em too.

'Hundred dollars.'

In return, Bo and Luke agreed

not to blow the
whistle on ol' Boss

if he sent all the money
back to the people he bilked

in his mail scam.

Another $ .

And as for Miz Tisdale

not only did she
receive a commendation

but Jesse admired
her gumption so much

that he finally broke down

and invited her to go
out cat-fishing with him.

It wasn't even fishing
season in Hazzard County.

I know I carry on a lot, Jesse

but you've made me
feel again. Thank you.

I sure do like happy endings.

Don't everybody?