04x15 - The Sound of Music – Hazzard Style
Posted: 08/27/22 17:40
- Yee-haw!
- Yee-haw!
Now, when the Duke boys
got their minds set on something
nothing else registers.
Not even Cletus on
their tail in hot pursuit.
But they ain't thinking about
women chasing or car racing
they're concentrating
on one thing.
Music. The Mickey
Gilley concert in Hazzard.
Now, Boss Hogg being
Hazzard's leading patron of the arts
is awful proud especially
since he's found a way
to rip off the concert.
With the help of these two
record pirates Heep and Morton
black market tapes
of Mickey Gilley
got to be worth
their weight in gold.
Can't understand what
happened to Bo and Luke
they should've been here.
It ain't like 'em
missing Mickey Gilley.
Oh, don't worry
your heads about 'em
I'm sure they gotta
a good reason.
The boys were late
'cause they're taking
a little evasive
action on old police.
He's mad cause he's
having to miss the concert
cause he's having
to chase the Dukes.
But things work
like that in Hazzard.
Hang on, cousin, here's
when we say goodbye to Cletus.
Aah!
Cops supposed to
hide behind billboards.
Boy if them two don't stick out
like two roosters in
a room full of ducks.
One thing for sure, they
ain't here for the music.
Ben, the alley.
You think, it's Heep and Morton?
They've tried pirating every
other concert through the south.
Why not this one?
Heep, we've got company.
It's them feds again.
They're gonna try
blocking the alley.
Let's make a run for
it. Get that master reel.
'Hey! Hey!'
'Hold it.'
'Stop I say, in the
name of the law.'
No passengers, I see.
You, get in the
back. Get in the back.
Boy if that ain't
typical Duke timing.
They're missing the
concert but in time for the fun.
Looks like Heep and Morton
got themselves some partners.
So do y'all mind telling us
who's chasing us and why?
Yeah, we mind. Just keep
your nose clean and drive.
I've got me a very
nervous trigger finger.
I need y'all to
fasten your seatbelts
we've just been
cleared for take off.
- We lost them.
- Good. Pull over at the side.
- Pull over.
- Alright.
Alright, come on move it.
- 'Move it.'
- Yes.
Well, this is the
end of the road boys.
- We ride and you walk.
- Any questions?
Yeah, one.
You've got any
b*ll*ts in that g*n?
- Anymore questions?
- No. Keys are in the ignition.
Luke, I'm kinda getting
that wizzy feeling again.
I gotta sit down.
Hey, you're not gonna try
and pull that old trick are you?
Guess you're gonna
pick up a handful of sand
and throw it on us, huh?
I reckon we saw the
same movies, huh?
Yeah.
Well, we can't
blame a guy for trying.
Give me a hand up, Luke.
'Get on. Let's go.'
I don't think they were
amused. They meant business.
Sure want to know
what all that was about.
We'll find out, right now.
Head right to town we're
gonna talk to Rosco about all this.
Yup that's right. Mickey
Gilley in person on tape.
Six dozens? Alright, you got it.
You're doing yourself
a favor. You sure are.
I'll be shipping
tomorrow. Yeah, bye.
Six dozen on that one.
Did you hear that? I've got..
Well, what in the
name of all that's holy
is that supposed to mean?
Listen, Boss this is
terribly important see.
This is my horoscope
for the month.
- Your horoscope?
- Yeah.
Now, see I ordered this heavenly
horoscope astrological sign
through this magazine you know.
This tells you everything.
Alright, just forget about it.
Forget about it will you please?
And just set your mind to doing
this here new business deal
I was telling you about.
No, no, business deal.
No we can't do that.
- We can't?
- No, no, see my zodiac.
It says here that
my Venus ain't rising.
Yeah, well, your
Venus may not be rising
but a lump on your head will.
If you try to lay near that dumb
astrological horo-stuff on me.
I don't like it.
But, Boss, it's just as
plain as the double chin
on your fat chubby
little cheeks there.
That we cannot go into
any new business ventures.
- Oh, yeah. It says that there?
- It says that in here.
Well, let me ask you.
Does that say anything
about old business ventures?
- Old business ventures.
- Yeah, like being sheriff.
Being sherriff.
Because if you don't stop
working on this record deal
your gonna end up the
pin boy at the Dawn to Dusk
bowling alley at Pool Hogg.
Come on in, Cletus.
- You always interrupt us...
- Sherriff.
I'm Van Jordan. This
is Margery Damon.
How do you do?
We are from the Federal
Trade commission.
'Yup, that's you alright.'
Sheriff, could we
speak to you privately?
- Of course.
- Oh, ah, ah, just a minute.
Just a minute here. I'm
Jefferson Davis Hogg.
I'm County commissioner
around here.
- I'm Rosco P...
- Pleased to meet you.
Oh, sorry, excuse me.
What can I do for you?
We were investigating
reports of record piracy
here in Hazzard county.
- Record piracy?
- Record piracy.
- Oh, here in Hazzard county?
- In Hazzard county.
We almost captured the men
we were after but they got away.
'They got away. Oh,
that's terrible too.'
They got away with men
who were driving an orange car
with a confederate
flag painted on it.
Orange car with a
confederate flag on top?
That sounds like...
It sounds like a car that
shouldn't be too hard to find.
Don't you think, sheriff?
You better get out an EPB on it.
We're offering a sizeable
reward for their capture.
A reward? Well,
that's an incentive too.
We have their van out back.
Soon as we check
it you can impound it.
Yeah, along with that
pirated tape too, I suppose.
No, they got away with the tape.
- They got away?
- But we...
We'll be in touch later.
Thank you very much.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, bye.
Got away with the tape?
Oh, damn!
This horoscope they
predicted this, you know.
Listen, not only are the
feds snooping around now
but we've lost the tape.
You see, it's just
not in the stars.
One more word
about you about stars
and you're gonna be
seeing stars from the moon.
I've got a fortune
riding on that there tape.
- I know.
- I gotta think this thing out.
You think talking to
Rosco will do us any good?
Every little law that we've
got around here, Rosco's it.
Yeah.
Uh, Boss?
Morgan. We ran
into little trouble.
At first Boss was happier
than a pig in a pond
till he learned that the tape
was still in the car. Then..
I don't know why
but Bo and Luke Duke
wanna see you, sheriff.
Oh, they are. Alright.
We're good. Come
on lets go get them.
Luck in Hazzard changes faster
than getting into your drawers
on a winter moon.
Bo an Luke told it like it was.
But it was like howling
down rain barrel.
- That's your story, huh?
- Yes.
Well, that whole thing stinks.
Yeah, like a large
load of fertilizer.
I don't believe a word of
it. Rosco, seize that car.
'And don't miss nothing on
that back floor mats neither.'
Now what do you
searching the General for?
What am I searching
it for? For this.
What's that?
That is the illegal recording
of Mickey Gilley's concert.
Come on, Rosco. We were
nowhere near that concert.
- Then where did this come from?
- Yeah, where did it?
Rosco, you lock them up
on a charge of record piracy.
And that's a federal offence.
Rosco, now come on.
Bo, it's no use
they got us this time.
You might as well
take the other tape.
- What other tape?
- Yeah.
You must known
about the other tape..
I'll get it for you.
- What other tape?
- The other tape, Bo.
- Oh, yeah, the other tape.
- What other tape?
We've been had. There
ain't no another tape.
Go on, will you?
They're long gone.
Freeze, freeze.
Ain't you going after him?
- Well, there ain't no use.
- What's come over you?
Well, my zodiac definitely
stated that my planets
are in the wrong houses.
Oh, you get moving will you?
And if you loose em'
you ain't gonna have
a house on any planet.
Especially this one.
Not even a dog house.
Now, we know what them two
guys were up to that h*jacked us.
It's no shock to me if Boss
is involved in this one too.
The trouble is, we are the one's
who got caught with the tape.
It's a federal offence.
You'll figure
someway out of this.
I will?
Oh, jumpin' jeez..
Them Duke Boys have run
over half the citizens in Hazzard.
'They'll get
years to life for this.'
O-ooh!
You know, I used to have
a dog that could do that.
What a horrendous
crash that was.
'It pays to buckle up.'
You think they'll come
back for all this equipment?
Well, these are the
tools of their trade.
Listen, why don't you ask
around about that orange car?
Right. Why don't you
stake out the impound yard?
We'll keep in touch
on the walkie-talkies.
Well, you can
impound it now, Deputy.
You bet. Anything I
can do to co operate.
Cousin Boss says you
be cooperative with people.
That's what I'm doing.
Confidentially, I'm
looking for raise.
So anything I can do to be a
good cooperative, I'm gonna do.
Alright.
Much obliged.
Morton, it's too hot in
Hazzard for you boys
to come waltzin'
back here right now.
Specially with them feds
hanging around around town.
Ain't nothing we can do
without that tape and our truck.
Yeah, right, right, alright.
Don't you worry nothin'.
I'm gonna have
that truck out to you.
You get your tails out to the
old saw mill and wait there.
We're on our way.
Rosco, come here.
Give me a hand.
Here, you can
have the whole arm.
What the devil is this?
- It's an arm.
- I know it's an arm.
Listen there's bad news, Boss.
- The duke boys have got away.
- They did?
What's it gonna
take to convince you
that this is just not our day?
- Oh, it ain't?
- No.
- I'll tell you it is.
- It is?
- And you want to know why?
- Why?
Because them Dukes are
prime suspects ain't they?
Right.
- 'We got the tape.'
- Right.
All you gotta do is to get
yourself into the impound yard
and skedaddle that truck
right out to the old saw mill.
Let me get this right.
You're looking for a
bright reddish orange car
with a big confederate
flag on top of it?
I'm just a nut
about flashy cars.
I just have to have
it for my collection.
Well, that's a real
special car, ma'am.
It ain't no collectors item.
Then you do know who owns it?
Yeah, I've met 'em.
Finders fee?
Ma'am, you're just wasting
your time and your money.
The Duke boys are not
gonna sell the General Lee.
Well, then take it as
a deposit for that car.
I've gotta drive out there
and find out for myself.
You just keep your money,
the key's in the ignition
and you're looking for the
Duke Farm on the Old Mill Road.
- Thank you.
- You're sure welcome.
But you're wasting your time.
Ah, blast it.
Them feds have got the
impound yard staked out.
Well, I could
have told you that.
Yeah, you see Jupiter's
got everything all mixed up.
According to this zodiac
Jupiter rules Sagittarius.
Up in the sky Jupiter
may rule Sagittarius.
But down here on earth
I run Hazzard and you.
Well, that's true.
So, I'm gonna go out
there and distract them feds
while you, you circle
around the block
get in that yard and bust that
truck out of there, you hear?
- You?
- Me?
- No.
- What no.
That truck won't even
start. It'll have flat tires.
- Will you at least try?
- No, I warned you.
You can just apply that
Jupiter for your next paycheck.
I'll try.
Come here, Barney. Don't worry.
'This is Lost Sheep
calling Shepherd.'
- I'll be right..
- 'Lost Sheep calling Shepherd.'
Uh, this is Shepherd.
Looks like, Boss is
involved in some sort off
black market tape operation.
He's trying to stick
us with the wrap.
Why that low down
dirty knivin' skunk.
When I get my hands
on him, I'm gonna...
Uncle Jesse there ain't no point
in getting yourself all head up.
We gotta find those guys.
What can I do to help?
'Meet us at cotton
holler in half an hour.'
- 'Over and out.'
- I'm on my way.
Barney, I'll finish
you up later.
Ben, that orange car belongs
to some local boys named Duke.
'I'm out at their farm now.'
- Any sign of them?
- No.
Only one here, he's an old
man saw him talking on his CB
then he took off
like grease lightning.
Alright, well, stay with him.
See where he's headed.
- If you need help, holla.
- 'Right.'
Well, well, well fancy meeting
you here again, Mister..
- Jordan.
- Yeah, didn't I say that?
You remember me don't you? J.
D. Hogg County Commissioner.
Yes, I remember.
I figured that you might be
scoutin' their get away car.
No my partner's
watching for that.
I'm trying to keep an eye on
that truck across the street.
There's no use bothering
your head about that truck.
No sir. In my pound yard
it's as safe as safe can be.
I'm sure but I'd still like
to keep my eye on it.
Keep an eye on it,
keep two eyes on it.
And too bad you ain't got three.
Checkin' on ya.
I know, get out of the way.
No, no, no. I'm coming with you.
'Oh, wait a minute.'
We'll have to divvy up the area.
We'll search all the places
that most likely will be used
for a duplicating plant.
They'll be anything you
know out of the way, quiet
where they wouldn't
be likely to be found.
Uncle Jesse better search
this side of the holler.
This side the holler.
Daisy, now you take
everything north of Willow Creek
Ask Cooter to check everything
South of Rim Fire Ridge.
Alright, sugar.
Now, remember who
ever spots them first
get a hold of the others
because they've got g*ns.
They got g*ns.
You boys go on ahead
We'll wait here for Cooter.
I don't know who this is
but looks like
they're headed for us
You boys better skedaddle.
Jesse Duke, if
reigns was leather
you couldn't saddle a
flee. Let's get out of here.
We're gaining on him.
So what? He's bound
to stop sooner or later.
You don't want to
get us k*lled do you?
Oh, oh, oh.
Jumpin' jeez,
ain't that my luck?
Why couldn't I be anything
but Scorpio with Venus rising?
If your wondering how
with a hundred odd roads
running through Hazzard.
All em' cars could end
up on the same road.
It's plain that you ain't
never been to Hazzard.
Do something, do something.
They're okay?
Yeah, they've got a
little egg on their face.
You got that right.
Get away from me.
Get away from me.
You're a menace on the road.
Eh, this is Shepherd.
You boys alright?
Uh, it's a big
ten-four, Uncle Jesse.
We'd be doing better soon as
we catch up with 'em pirates.
Just keep the
faith, we'll get em.
Ten-four.
Alright.
There's your tape
and there's your truck.
The whole thing
isn't worth the trouble.
Nobody ever said it's was
easy to make a dishonest bucks.
Listen, why don't you gentlemen
give me a ride back into town?
With the feds are looking for
that truck, you've got a hole.
Driving him back
to the main road.
Just drive me back
to the main road.
How do I get into
town from there?
- You've got a thumb, ain't ya?
- I've got two.
Oh, you mean..
Each of us are gonna have
to follow one of those vehicles.
You take the orange car
and I'll take the Bentley.
- Right.
- Eh, what about me?
- I gotta get back to Hazzard.
- You got a thumb ain't you?
Yeah!
Oh, no, no.
Wait, wait, wait.
'Shepherd to Lost Sheep.
You got your ears on?'
This here is Lost
Sheep What you've got?
'I just checked up the switchin'
shack over railroad side
'but nobody around
there. What do you got?'
Got a big negatory
at Dawson's digs
'How bout you country
cousin got your ears on?'
There's nobody here
at the old Howard place.
It's clean as a turkey
drumstick at thanksgiving, boys.
Well, keep looking y'all.
Them snakes gotta be hiding
in the tall grass somewhere.
You know, we're dumb.
Sharing all this with Boss,
we could collect at both ends.
I like your thinking.
Let's load up.
I've gotta find a way
to make sure they don't
double cross us before we're
ready to double cross them.
We oughta be the double
crossers and not the double crosses.
That way we'll make sure
that I get my percent
of your percent
of the profits.
Oh, I got it.
- You got a vapor lock?
- No.
I got the way in
which we can do it.
We'll take pictures of 'em
while they're duplicate 'em tapes.
What good is that gonna do?
That will get enough
evidence to arrest 'em
when they're
through with the job.
We'll get them, the Dukes,
the tapes and the reward money.
Oh, I love it. I love
it. It ain't gonna work.
- Oh, of course it will.
- 'No, it wont.'
- Whose gonna take the pictures?
- You. With your little camera.
- We'll they'll come out fuzzy.
- Oh, why?
Because my horoscope
definitely says...
Don't give me anymore
of that horoscope punk.
Get your camera
and get going will you?
Alright. Come on, Flash.
You know something? Your
horoscope's a bummer too.
What are you talking about?
Your Capricorn is definitely..
You get out of here
before I cap your corn.
While the double crosses
was a fixing to double cross
the double crossers.
Bo and Luke were
barking up the wrong trees.
While the federal officer
was barking up the right one.
Now that could
be a real costly slip.
Where you wanna look now?
I don't know. Maybe
they found someone.
Might as well call him
up and check on the CB.
This here is the Lost Sheep.
There don't seem to be nobody
over the old school house.
I wouldn't say that. Now just
raise your hands and don't move.
I'm placing you under
arrest for record piracy.
So just hand over that tape
and don't try anything funny.
You hear that Uncle Jesse?
I'm hearing it.
I don't suppose you
got any identification?
I seem to have
misplaced my wallet.
Mister, we've heard
that a hundred times.
Take my word for it.
I am a federal officer.
Sure. And I'm Santa Claus
and this here is Bugs Bunny.
Since Boss has
already' got that tape
you must be working on your own?
You say Hogg's got the tape?
Looks like you're
little late, doesn't it?
I don't have time to
argue. My car's over there.
Let's get on the move. Let's go.
Now that's impressive,
too bad it's one more time
the boys shouldn't
be making a get away.
Come on with me.
Just for a minute if that
guy was telling the truth.
Well, now he could have been.
He might have lost his wallet.
Or he might have been
shuckin' and jivin' us.
He's coming up fast fellas.
Can you loose him, Daisy?
Won't have to, Bo. Hold on.
Alright.
Well, I sure hope that
was no real federal agent.
Wouldn't want to get
you involved in this.
Yeah. I got involved the minute
I started looking after you two.
You realize you've aided
and abetted two suspects?
Obstructed justice?
My cousins did not
pirate that tape, sir.
And they're not
running from the law.
'We're tryin' to help
you find the real pirates.'
It's a very pretty
little speech.
It's the truth, ma'am.
'Well, that's for a
judge to decide..'
when we catch 'em.
Now, what is the quickest
way back to Hazzard?
Straight ahead and you gotta
hang a sharp left, first turn.
She said go left, we go right.
It's bad to be
cynical with a Duke.
Because Dukes don't lie.
You know, this police
work, that's my life.
Alright now, Flash.
You stay here and
don't you make a sound.
'Cause daddy'll be
back in a flash, Flash.
You get it? Flash, flash?
'Watch it, they're
gone. Those..'
They're gone. The
dirty double-crossers.
They double-crossed us before
we could double-cross them.
I'm tellin' you Flash,
this day and age
you can't find an honest crook.
Ooh, just drives
me absolutely nutty.
- Oh, hello, boys.
- Hello, Boss.
- Say, it's good to see you.
- Mm-hmm.
That job all done?
- They're drivin' a truck.
- Good.
- Now, let's see the money.
- The money?
Oh, yeah. Well,
you know somethin'?
Just as soon as I finish
this little snack. Oh!
With your appetite,
we'll be here a week.
- Now, wait a minute.
- Get the money.
Alright, alright,
alright, I will. But, uh..
You know somethin', it
ain't healthy to let business
interfere with your digestion.
It ain't healthy
to argue, neither.
I mean, it could stop your
digestion... all together.
Give me that. Ooh!
We wouldn't want that
to happen, would we?
- No.
- Let's get the money.
- Yeah.
- Get the money.
I'm gettin' it, ain't
I? I'm gonna get it.
I'm not gonna say so. I don't
know what your all fired rush..
- Come on, Boss.
- I'm hurryin', I'm hurryin'.
Ain't I? Get it outta here.
Got it right here, see?
I haven't had time to figure out
how I was gonna pay you boys.
Let me see what I've got
and I can figure out your share.
Well, let's not waste
any time countin', Boss.
We'll just take it all.
- All?
- All. And the tapes.
'And the tapes?'
Wait a just one
cotton pickin' minute.
'Can't we talk this thing over?'
- Wait?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because, you know, you
ain't playin' with somebody
who carries his brains
in his back pocket.
And what do you
figure on doin' about it?
You know you, you're a cop.
You'll be
incriminatin' yourself.
Yeah? Well, anything
said about me is just heresy.
On, the other hand, them
pictures the sheriff took
of you two boys while you
was duplicatin' them tapes..
Why, that's hard evidence.
Exceptin' for one thing.
Rosco never did get
them pictures taken.
Of course, right now,
nobody knows that, but Rosco.
Bo and Luke were spared
of comin' up with ways
to make Boss talk.
'Cause by time they
got to The Boars Nest..
- Boss, we gotta talk...
- Boss?
- He ain't here.
- No.
Ain't like Boss to
leave his safe open.
Or his cash box, neither.
That's a note for Rosco.
Ain't Boss's
handwritin', neither.
"We got Boss Hogg. Deliver
them pictures to you know where
within the hour or you'll
never see him again."
'Sounds like he's in
more trouble than we are.'
Alright you two.
Freeze it, right there.
Put you hands up, and
'cause you're under arrest..
Rosco..
Put that thing away
before you hurt yourself.
Alright, Cletus. Go
ahead and cuff 'em.
- And then you can book 'em.
- For what?
What for? You dip-stick.
For-for record piracy,
for breaking into a safe
and robbery.
We didn't break into the safe
and we didn't open the cash box.
- No.
- We did find this.
What? What's that? What is that?
- It's a note.
- Mm-hmm.
"Never see him again?"
'I never got to
take those pictures.'
- What pictures?
- What pictures?
Will you hush? And none
of your business either.
It sure is our business
if you're fixin' on
accusin' us of being part
of whatever's goin' on.
We never lost no love over Boss
but we don't wanna see
him get his rump hurtin'.
'Or even worse,
accordin' to that note.'
Now look, why don't
we forget our differences
and find him before
something happens to him?
Listen now, I appreciate your
concern for Boss Hogg, but..
'I'm gonna take
care of this myself.'
Alright, Cletus. Cuff
'em and stuff 'em.
- Rosco, what're you..
- Take some chicken with you.
Cletus, can't you see
what Rosco's walkin' into?
I can, but Rosco's smart.
Anything too dangerous,
he sends me to do it.
I don't care how
smart Sheriff Rosco is.
He's no match
for them criminals.
Listen, I can't go
against Rosco's orders.
He'd never forgive me.
He may not be
alive to forgive you.
You think it might come to that?
Why don't you ask
him at his funeral?
Time was ticking away for Boss.
And all he had goin'
for him was Rosco
who didn't have the pictures.
Could you scratch
my nose, please?
Boy, I'm tellin' you, I can
get in a heap of trouble for this
because Rosco is my boss.
But, Cousin Boss is
my kin, so.. Let's go.
Politics and Hazzard situations
make for strange bed-fellows.
We now got the Dukes
and Cletus working together.
Rosco!
- Bring 'em pictures, sheriff?
- Are you kiddin'? You release...
You let him lose, then we'll
talk about those pictures.
- I got me a better idea.
- Uh, listen...
Gimme that g*n. We'll talk
about them pictures later.
Now, get over there.
You think I'm so dumb as to
have those pictures on me?
This ain't no time for
an intelligence test.
Give 'em the pictures.
- Um, which pictures...
- You know what pictures I mean.
- Ooh, yes.
- Go on. Do it!
- I didn't take those pictures.
- Well, give 'em something.
- I haven't...
- And then scratch my nose.
I'll give 'em a picture of
Flash and I'll scratch your nose.
- 'Is that better?'
- Yeah.
'Yeah, right there, huh?'
Go get the door open.
Not findin' the pictures
that Rosco never took
Heep and Morton decided
to use ol' Boss and Rosco
as hostages, in
case they needed 'em
while they's
makin' the run for it.
Get the door shut.
Old Cletus told Bo and Luke
about the pirate's blue van.
So they C.B.'d everybody
in Hazzard with their ears on
to keep a lookout.
Yo, Bo, Luke, got
'em in my sights.
'They're on Old Post road
heading towards Mud Flats.'
'Over.'
You can save a couple of
miles takin' Pokerville pass.
Hey, you're right.
- Them boys are gonna k*ll us.
- Ooh.
- I know it. I just know it.
- Oh.
And I don't wanna die.
Lulu'll get all my money.
- Oh, oh, oh, Boss, listen.
- Huh.
- I got it.
- Oh, you do. Thank goodness.
- Good news, good news.
- Oh, yeah? What?
All we gotta do is wait
till my horoscope runs out
and we'll be home free!
That's it!
Rosco, if we ever get
out of this thing alive
I'm gonna k*ll you.
Ah, ooh, ah!
I think he's runnin'
across the ploughed fields.
That scuffed me.
'Heep, how bad is
it? Can we get out?'
Boss, here.
Quit fidgeting with your
fat fingers and maybe
I can get you untied.
Alright, alright.
Now, this could get
to be a mite precarious.
Ah!
Somebody better throw
ol' Luke some sand.
- Here.
- There, you did it. I'm free.
- I did it.
- Alright, I'm free.
- How about me?
- Good for you.
Lookie there!
Luke! Luke, the General!
You know how sometimes
you don't always think clear?
Like why didn't
he shut her down?
I've done that.
Good.
- Cletus, run. Get out.
- I can't.
A-ah!
Wooh!
Well, them that gives, gets.
Bo and Luke finally found
out that Jordan and Dane
were real federal officers.
But, they were forgiven,
seeing how things turned out.
With no hard evidence to
connect Boss and Rosco
with Heep and Morton, Boss
and Rosco managed once again
to wiggle themselves
off the hook.
And owing his life to Bo
and Luke, Boss cleared
the boys of any connection
in the record piracy.
- Hey, look who's there.
- Hey, Mickey.
- H-hey.
- How you doin'? Good to see ya.
And remember that reward
on them record pirates?
Hey, I just dropped
by to say thanks.
- I brought the reward money.
- Oh, we can't take this.
'Course it hadn't occurred to
Boss that in clearing the Dukes
they'd get the reward money.
Which they'd later donate to
the Hazzard Orphan's Fund.
So, he did the next worst thing.
And put up the Hazzard
celebrity speed trap.
Where you don't
leave until you sing.
A lot.
Okay, everybody..
Alright!
Ooh, ooh, there
he is. That's him.
Thank you very much.
I'd like to dedicate this
first song to the Duke family.
- And to the sheriff.
- Ooh, that's me. That's..
Had it not been for his speed
trap, I wouldn't be here today.
A one, a two, a
one, two, three, go.
Rosco, come on, come on.
Keep movin'. Keep movin'.
Alright, here. Have your
luke-warm soda here.
- Here.
- And you, Cletus, Cletus.
Sell that stuff. You
don't get paid for dancing.
Two dollars, two dollars.
Get your hot corn right here.
Hot, hot corn.
Two dollars. C'mon.
Ha ha ha ha.
Too bad Rosco don't
have more patrol cars.
For next week, folks of
Hazzard would be hearing
the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.
- Yee-haw!
Now, when the Duke boys
got their minds set on something
nothing else registers.
Not even Cletus on
their tail in hot pursuit.
But they ain't thinking about
women chasing or car racing
they're concentrating
on one thing.
Music. The Mickey
Gilley concert in Hazzard.
Now, Boss Hogg being
Hazzard's leading patron of the arts
is awful proud especially
since he's found a way
to rip off the concert.
With the help of these two
record pirates Heep and Morton
black market tapes
of Mickey Gilley
got to be worth
their weight in gold.
Can't understand what
happened to Bo and Luke
they should've been here.
It ain't like 'em
missing Mickey Gilley.
Oh, don't worry
your heads about 'em
I'm sure they gotta
a good reason.
The boys were late
'cause they're taking
a little evasive
action on old police.
He's mad cause he's
having to miss the concert
cause he's having
to chase the Dukes.
But things work
like that in Hazzard.
Hang on, cousin, here's
when we say goodbye to Cletus.
Aah!
Cops supposed to
hide behind billboards.
Boy if them two don't stick out
like two roosters in
a room full of ducks.
One thing for sure, they
ain't here for the music.
Ben, the alley.
You think, it's Heep and Morton?
They've tried pirating every
other concert through the south.
Why not this one?
Heep, we've got company.
It's them feds again.
They're gonna try
blocking the alley.
Let's make a run for
it. Get that master reel.
'Hey! Hey!'
'Hold it.'
'Stop I say, in the
name of the law.'
No passengers, I see.
You, get in the
back. Get in the back.
Boy if that ain't
typical Duke timing.
They're missing the
concert but in time for the fun.
Looks like Heep and Morton
got themselves some partners.
So do y'all mind telling us
who's chasing us and why?
Yeah, we mind. Just keep
your nose clean and drive.
I've got me a very
nervous trigger finger.
I need y'all to
fasten your seatbelts
we've just been
cleared for take off.
- We lost them.
- Good. Pull over at the side.
- Pull over.
- Alright.
Alright, come on move it.
- 'Move it.'
- Yes.
Well, this is the
end of the road boys.
- We ride and you walk.
- Any questions?
Yeah, one.
You've got any
b*ll*ts in that g*n?
- Anymore questions?
- No. Keys are in the ignition.
Luke, I'm kinda getting
that wizzy feeling again.
I gotta sit down.
Hey, you're not gonna try
and pull that old trick are you?
Guess you're gonna
pick up a handful of sand
and throw it on us, huh?
I reckon we saw the
same movies, huh?
Yeah.
Well, we can't
blame a guy for trying.
Give me a hand up, Luke.
'Get on. Let's go.'
I don't think they were
amused. They meant business.
Sure want to know
what all that was about.
We'll find out, right now.
Head right to town we're
gonna talk to Rosco about all this.
Yup that's right. Mickey
Gilley in person on tape.
Six dozens? Alright, you got it.
You're doing yourself
a favor. You sure are.
I'll be shipping
tomorrow. Yeah, bye.
Six dozen on that one.
Did you hear that? I've got..
Well, what in the
name of all that's holy
is that supposed to mean?
Listen, Boss this is
terribly important see.
This is my horoscope
for the month.
- Your horoscope?
- Yeah.
Now, see I ordered this heavenly
horoscope astrological sign
through this magazine you know.
This tells you everything.
Alright, just forget about it.
Forget about it will you please?
And just set your mind to doing
this here new business deal
I was telling you about.
No, no, business deal.
No we can't do that.
- We can't?
- No, no, see my zodiac.
It says here that
my Venus ain't rising.
Yeah, well, your
Venus may not be rising
but a lump on your head will.
If you try to lay near that dumb
astrological horo-stuff on me.
I don't like it.
But, Boss, it's just as
plain as the double chin
on your fat chubby
little cheeks there.
That we cannot go into
any new business ventures.
- Oh, yeah. It says that there?
- It says that in here.
Well, let me ask you.
Does that say anything
about old business ventures?
- Old business ventures.
- Yeah, like being sheriff.
Being sherriff.
Because if you don't stop
working on this record deal
your gonna end up the
pin boy at the Dawn to Dusk
bowling alley at Pool Hogg.
Come on in, Cletus.
- You always interrupt us...
- Sherriff.
I'm Van Jordan. This
is Margery Damon.
How do you do?
We are from the Federal
Trade commission.
'Yup, that's you alright.'
Sheriff, could we
speak to you privately?
- Of course.
- Oh, ah, ah, just a minute.
Just a minute here. I'm
Jefferson Davis Hogg.
I'm County commissioner
around here.
- I'm Rosco P...
- Pleased to meet you.
Oh, sorry, excuse me.
What can I do for you?
We were investigating
reports of record piracy
here in Hazzard county.
- Record piracy?
- Record piracy.
- Oh, here in Hazzard county?
- In Hazzard county.
We almost captured the men
we were after but they got away.
'They got away. Oh,
that's terrible too.'
They got away with men
who were driving an orange car
with a confederate
flag painted on it.
Orange car with a
confederate flag on top?
That sounds like...
It sounds like a car that
shouldn't be too hard to find.
Don't you think, sheriff?
You better get out an EPB on it.
We're offering a sizeable
reward for their capture.
A reward? Well,
that's an incentive too.
We have their van out back.
Soon as we check
it you can impound it.
Yeah, along with that
pirated tape too, I suppose.
No, they got away with the tape.
- They got away?
- But we...
We'll be in touch later.
Thank you very much.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, bye.
Got away with the tape?
Oh, damn!
This horoscope they
predicted this, you know.
Listen, not only are the
feds snooping around now
but we've lost the tape.
You see, it's just
not in the stars.
One more word
about you about stars
and you're gonna be
seeing stars from the moon.
I've got a fortune
riding on that there tape.
- I know.
- I gotta think this thing out.
You think talking to
Rosco will do us any good?
Every little law that we've
got around here, Rosco's it.
Yeah.
Uh, Boss?
Morgan. We ran
into little trouble.
At first Boss was happier
than a pig in a pond
till he learned that the tape
was still in the car. Then..
I don't know why
but Bo and Luke Duke
wanna see you, sheriff.
Oh, they are. Alright.
We're good. Come
on lets go get them.
Luck in Hazzard changes faster
than getting into your drawers
on a winter moon.
Bo an Luke told it like it was.
But it was like howling
down rain barrel.
- That's your story, huh?
- Yes.
Well, that whole thing stinks.
Yeah, like a large
load of fertilizer.
I don't believe a word of
it. Rosco, seize that car.
'And don't miss nothing on
that back floor mats neither.'
Now what do you
searching the General for?
What am I searching
it for? For this.
What's that?
That is the illegal recording
of Mickey Gilley's concert.
Come on, Rosco. We were
nowhere near that concert.
- Then where did this come from?
- Yeah, where did it?
Rosco, you lock them up
on a charge of record piracy.
And that's a federal offence.
Rosco, now come on.
Bo, it's no use
they got us this time.
You might as well
take the other tape.
- What other tape?
- Yeah.
You must known
about the other tape..
I'll get it for you.
- What other tape?
- The other tape, Bo.
- Oh, yeah, the other tape.
- What other tape?
We've been had. There
ain't no another tape.
Go on, will you?
They're long gone.
Freeze, freeze.
Ain't you going after him?
- Well, there ain't no use.
- What's come over you?
Well, my zodiac definitely
stated that my planets
are in the wrong houses.
Oh, you get moving will you?
And if you loose em'
you ain't gonna have
a house on any planet.
Especially this one.
Not even a dog house.
Now, we know what them two
guys were up to that h*jacked us.
It's no shock to me if Boss
is involved in this one too.
The trouble is, we are the one's
who got caught with the tape.
It's a federal offence.
You'll figure
someway out of this.
I will?
Oh, jumpin' jeez..
Them Duke Boys have run
over half the citizens in Hazzard.
'They'll get
years to life for this.'
O-ooh!
You know, I used to have
a dog that could do that.
What a horrendous
crash that was.
'It pays to buckle up.'
You think they'll come
back for all this equipment?
Well, these are the
tools of their trade.
Listen, why don't you ask
around about that orange car?
Right. Why don't you
stake out the impound yard?
We'll keep in touch
on the walkie-talkies.
Well, you can
impound it now, Deputy.
You bet. Anything I
can do to co operate.
Cousin Boss says you
be cooperative with people.
That's what I'm doing.
Confidentially, I'm
looking for raise.
So anything I can do to be a
good cooperative, I'm gonna do.
Alright.
Much obliged.
Morton, it's too hot in
Hazzard for you boys
to come waltzin'
back here right now.
Specially with them feds
hanging around around town.
Ain't nothing we can do
without that tape and our truck.
Yeah, right, right, alright.
Don't you worry nothin'.
I'm gonna have
that truck out to you.
You get your tails out to the
old saw mill and wait there.
We're on our way.
Rosco, come here.
Give me a hand.
Here, you can
have the whole arm.
What the devil is this?
- It's an arm.
- I know it's an arm.
Listen there's bad news, Boss.
- The duke boys have got away.
- They did?
What's it gonna
take to convince you
that this is just not our day?
- Oh, it ain't?
- No.
- I'll tell you it is.
- It is?
- And you want to know why?
- Why?
Because them Dukes are
prime suspects ain't they?
Right.
- 'We got the tape.'
- Right.
All you gotta do is to get
yourself into the impound yard
and skedaddle that truck
right out to the old saw mill.
Let me get this right.
You're looking for a
bright reddish orange car
with a big confederate
flag on top of it?
I'm just a nut
about flashy cars.
I just have to have
it for my collection.
Well, that's a real
special car, ma'am.
It ain't no collectors item.
Then you do know who owns it?
Yeah, I've met 'em.
Finders fee?
Ma'am, you're just wasting
your time and your money.
The Duke boys are not
gonna sell the General Lee.
Well, then take it as
a deposit for that car.
I've gotta drive out there
and find out for myself.
You just keep your money,
the key's in the ignition
and you're looking for the
Duke Farm on the Old Mill Road.
- Thank you.
- You're sure welcome.
But you're wasting your time.
Ah, blast it.
Them feds have got the
impound yard staked out.
Well, I could
have told you that.
Yeah, you see Jupiter's
got everything all mixed up.
According to this zodiac
Jupiter rules Sagittarius.
Up in the sky Jupiter
may rule Sagittarius.
But down here on earth
I run Hazzard and you.
Well, that's true.
So, I'm gonna go out
there and distract them feds
while you, you circle
around the block
get in that yard and bust that
truck out of there, you hear?
- You?
- Me?
- No.
- What no.
That truck won't even
start. It'll have flat tires.
- Will you at least try?
- No, I warned you.
You can just apply that
Jupiter for your next paycheck.
I'll try.
Come here, Barney. Don't worry.
'This is Lost Sheep
calling Shepherd.'
- I'll be right..
- 'Lost Sheep calling Shepherd.'
Uh, this is Shepherd.
Looks like, Boss is
involved in some sort off
black market tape operation.
He's trying to stick
us with the wrap.
Why that low down
dirty knivin' skunk.
When I get my hands
on him, I'm gonna...
Uncle Jesse there ain't no point
in getting yourself all head up.
We gotta find those guys.
What can I do to help?
'Meet us at cotton
holler in half an hour.'
- 'Over and out.'
- I'm on my way.
Barney, I'll finish
you up later.
Ben, that orange car belongs
to some local boys named Duke.
'I'm out at their farm now.'
- Any sign of them?
- No.
Only one here, he's an old
man saw him talking on his CB
then he took off
like grease lightning.
Alright, well, stay with him.
See where he's headed.
- If you need help, holla.
- 'Right.'
Well, well, well fancy meeting
you here again, Mister..
- Jordan.
- Yeah, didn't I say that?
You remember me don't you? J.
D. Hogg County Commissioner.
Yes, I remember.
I figured that you might be
scoutin' their get away car.
No my partner's
watching for that.
I'm trying to keep an eye on
that truck across the street.
There's no use bothering
your head about that truck.
No sir. In my pound yard
it's as safe as safe can be.
I'm sure but I'd still like
to keep my eye on it.
Keep an eye on it,
keep two eyes on it.
And too bad you ain't got three.
Checkin' on ya.
I know, get out of the way.
No, no, no. I'm coming with you.
'Oh, wait a minute.'
We'll have to divvy up the area.
We'll search all the places
that most likely will be used
for a duplicating plant.
They'll be anything you
know out of the way, quiet
where they wouldn't
be likely to be found.
Uncle Jesse better search
this side of the holler.
This side the holler.
Daisy, now you take
everything north of Willow Creek
Ask Cooter to check everything
South of Rim Fire Ridge.
Alright, sugar.
Now, remember who
ever spots them first
get a hold of the others
because they've got g*ns.
They got g*ns.
You boys go on ahead
We'll wait here for Cooter.
I don't know who this is
but looks like
they're headed for us
You boys better skedaddle.
Jesse Duke, if
reigns was leather
you couldn't saddle a
flee. Let's get out of here.
We're gaining on him.
So what? He's bound
to stop sooner or later.
You don't want to
get us k*lled do you?
Oh, oh, oh.
Jumpin' jeez,
ain't that my luck?
Why couldn't I be anything
but Scorpio with Venus rising?
If your wondering how
with a hundred odd roads
running through Hazzard.
All em' cars could end
up on the same road.
It's plain that you ain't
never been to Hazzard.
Do something, do something.
They're okay?
Yeah, they've got a
little egg on their face.
You got that right.
Get away from me.
Get away from me.
You're a menace on the road.
Eh, this is Shepherd.
You boys alright?
Uh, it's a big
ten-four, Uncle Jesse.
We'd be doing better soon as
we catch up with 'em pirates.
Just keep the
faith, we'll get em.
Ten-four.
Alright.
There's your tape
and there's your truck.
The whole thing
isn't worth the trouble.
Nobody ever said it's was
easy to make a dishonest bucks.
Listen, why don't you gentlemen
give me a ride back into town?
With the feds are looking for
that truck, you've got a hole.
Driving him back
to the main road.
Just drive me back
to the main road.
How do I get into
town from there?
- You've got a thumb, ain't ya?
- I've got two.
Oh, you mean..
Each of us are gonna have
to follow one of those vehicles.
You take the orange car
and I'll take the Bentley.
- Right.
- Eh, what about me?
- I gotta get back to Hazzard.
- You got a thumb ain't you?
Yeah!
Oh, no, no.
Wait, wait, wait.
'Shepherd to Lost Sheep.
You got your ears on?'
This here is Lost
Sheep What you've got?
'I just checked up the switchin'
shack over railroad side
'but nobody around
there. What do you got?'
Got a big negatory
at Dawson's digs
'How bout you country
cousin got your ears on?'
There's nobody here
at the old Howard place.
It's clean as a turkey
drumstick at thanksgiving, boys.
Well, keep looking y'all.
Them snakes gotta be hiding
in the tall grass somewhere.
You know, we're dumb.
Sharing all this with Boss,
we could collect at both ends.
I like your thinking.
Let's load up.
I've gotta find a way
to make sure they don't
double cross us before we're
ready to double cross them.
We oughta be the double
crossers and not the double crosses.
That way we'll make sure
that I get my percent
of your percent
of the profits.
Oh, I got it.
- You got a vapor lock?
- No.
I got the way in
which we can do it.
We'll take pictures of 'em
while they're duplicate 'em tapes.
What good is that gonna do?
That will get enough
evidence to arrest 'em
when they're
through with the job.
We'll get them, the Dukes,
the tapes and the reward money.
Oh, I love it. I love
it. It ain't gonna work.
- Oh, of course it will.
- 'No, it wont.'
- Whose gonna take the pictures?
- You. With your little camera.
- We'll they'll come out fuzzy.
- Oh, why?
Because my horoscope
definitely says...
Don't give me anymore
of that horoscope punk.
Get your camera
and get going will you?
Alright. Come on, Flash.
You know something? Your
horoscope's a bummer too.
What are you talking about?
Your Capricorn is definitely..
You get out of here
before I cap your corn.
While the double crosses
was a fixing to double cross
the double crossers.
Bo and Luke were
barking up the wrong trees.
While the federal officer
was barking up the right one.
Now that could
be a real costly slip.
Where you wanna look now?
I don't know. Maybe
they found someone.
Might as well call him
up and check on the CB.
This here is the Lost Sheep.
There don't seem to be nobody
over the old school house.
I wouldn't say that. Now just
raise your hands and don't move.
I'm placing you under
arrest for record piracy.
So just hand over that tape
and don't try anything funny.
You hear that Uncle Jesse?
I'm hearing it.
I don't suppose you
got any identification?
I seem to have
misplaced my wallet.
Mister, we've heard
that a hundred times.
Take my word for it.
I am a federal officer.
Sure. And I'm Santa Claus
and this here is Bugs Bunny.
Since Boss has
already' got that tape
you must be working on your own?
You say Hogg's got the tape?
Looks like you're
little late, doesn't it?
I don't have time to
argue. My car's over there.
Let's get on the move. Let's go.
Now that's impressive,
too bad it's one more time
the boys shouldn't
be making a get away.
Come on with me.
Just for a minute if that
guy was telling the truth.
Well, now he could have been.
He might have lost his wallet.
Or he might have been
shuckin' and jivin' us.
He's coming up fast fellas.
Can you loose him, Daisy?
Won't have to, Bo. Hold on.
Alright.
Well, I sure hope that
was no real federal agent.
Wouldn't want to get
you involved in this.
Yeah. I got involved the minute
I started looking after you two.
You realize you've aided
and abetted two suspects?
Obstructed justice?
My cousins did not
pirate that tape, sir.
And they're not
running from the law.
'We're tryin' to help
you find the real pirates.'
It's a very pretty
little speech.
It's the truth, ma'am.
'Well, that's for a
judge to decide..'
when we catch 'em.
Now, what is the quickest
way back to Hazzard?
Straight ahead and you gotta
hang a sharp left, first turn.
She said go left, we go right.
It's bad to be
cynical with a Duke.
Because Dukes don't lie.
You know, this police
work, that's my life.
Alright now, Flash.
You stay here and
don't you make a sound.
'Cause daddy'll be
back in a flash, Flash.
You get it? Flash, flash?
'Watch it, they're
gone. Those..'
They're gone. The
dirty double-crossers.
They double-crossed us before
we could double-cross them.
I'm tellin' you Flash,
this day and age
you can't find an honest crook.
Ooh, just drives
me absolutely nutty.
- Oh, hello, boys.
- Hello, Boss.
- Say, it's good to see you.
- Mm-hmm.
That job all done?
- They're drivin' a truck.
- Good.
- Now, let's see the money.
- The money?
Oh, yeah. Well,
you know somethin'?
Just as soon as I finish
this little snack. Oh!
With your appetite,
we'll be here a week.
- Now, wait a minute.
- Get the money.
Alright, alright,
alright, I will. But, uh..
You know somethin', it
ain't healthy to let business
interfere with your digestion.
It ain't healthy
to argue, neither.
I mean, it could stop your
digestion... all together.
Give me that. Ooh!
We wouldn't want that
to happen, would we?
- No.
- Let's get the money.
- Yeah.
- Get the money.
I'm gettin' it, ain't
I? I'm gonna get it.
I'm not gonna say so. I don't
know what your all fired rush..
- Come on, Boss.
- I'm hurryin', I'm hurryin'.
Ain't I? Get it outta here.
Got it right here, see?
I haven't had time to figure out
how I was gonna pay you boys.
Let me see what I've got
and I can figure out your share.
Well, let's not waste
any time countin', Boss.
We'll just take it all.
- All?
- All. And the tapes.
'And the tapes?'
Wait a just one
cotton pickin' minute.
'Can't we talk this thing over?'
- Wait?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because, you know, you
ain't playin' with somebody
who carries his brains
in his back pocket.
And what do you
figure on doin' about it?
You know you, you're a cop.
You'll be
incriminatin' yourself.
Yeah? Well, anything
said about me is just heresy.
On, the other hand, them
pictures the sheriff took
of you two boys while you
was duplicatin' them tapes..
Why, that's hard evidence.
Exceptin' for one thing.
Rosco never did get
them pictures taken.
Of course, right now,
nobody knows that, but Rosco.
Bo and Luke were spared
of comin' up with ways
to make Boss talk.
'Cause by time they
got to The Boars Nest..
- Boss, we gotta talk...
- Boss?
- He ain't here.
- No.
Ain't like Boss to
leave his safe open.
Or his cash box, neither.
That's a note for Rosco.
Ain't Boss's
handwritin', neither.
"We got Boss Hogg. Deliver
them pictures to you know where
within the hour or you'll
never see him again."
'Sounds like he's in
more trouble than we are.'
Alright you two.
Freeze it, right there.
Put you hands up, and
'cause you're under arrest..
Rosco..
Put that thing away
before you hurt yourself.
Alright, Cletus. Go
ahead and cuff 'em.
- And then you can book 'em.
- For what?
What for? You dip-stick.
For-for record piracy,
for breaking into a safe
and robbery.
We didn't break into the safe
and we didn't open the cash box.
- No.
- We did find this.
What? What's that? What is that?
- It's a note.
- Mm-hmm.
"Never see him again?"
'I never got to
take those pictures.'
- What pictures?
- What pictures?
Will you hush? And none
of your business either.
It sure is our business
if you're fixin' on
accusin' us of being part
of whatever's goin' on.
We never lost no love over Boss
but we don't wanna see
him get his rump hurtin'.
'Or even worse,
accordin' to that note.'
Now look, why don't
we forget our differences
and find him before
something happens to him?
Listen now, I appreciate your
concern for Boss Hogg, but..
'I'm gonna take
care of this myself.'
Alright, Cletus. Cuff
'em and stuff 'em.
- Rosco, what're you..
- Take some chicken with you.
Cletus, can't you see
what Rosco's walkin' into?
I can, but Rosco's smart.
Anything too dangerous,
he sends me to do it.
I don't care how
smart Sheriff Rosco is.
He's no match
for them criminals.
Listen, I can't go
against Rosco's orders.
He'd never forgive me.
He may not be
alive to forgive you.
You think it might come to that?
Why don't you ask
him at his funeral?
Time was ticking away for Boss.
And all he had goin'
for him was Rosco
who didn't have the pictures.
Could you scratch
my nose, please?
Boy, I'm tellin' you, I can
get in a heap of trouble for this
because Rosco is my boss.
But, Cousin Boss is
my kin, so.. Let's go.
Politics and Hazzard situations
make for strange bed-fellows.
We now got the Dukes
and Cletus working together.
Rosco!
- Bring 'em pictures, sheriff?
- Are you kiddin'? You release...
You let him lose, then we'll
talk about those pictures.
- I got me a better idea.
- Uh, listen...
Gimme that g*n. We'll talk
about them pictures later.
Now, get over there.
You think I'm so dumb as to
have those pictures on me?
This ain't no time for
an intelligence test.
Give 'em the pictures.
- Um, which pictures...
- You know what pictures I mean.
- Ooh, yes.
- Go on. Do it!
- I didn't take those pictures.
- Well, give 'em something.
- I haven't...
- And then scratch my nose.
I'll give 'em a picture of
Flash and I'll scratch your nose.
- 'Is that better?'
- Yeah.
'Yeah, right there, huh?'
Go get the door open.
Not findin' the pictures
that Rosco never took
Heep and Morton decided
to use ol' Boss and Rosco
as hostages, in
case they needed 'em
while they's
makin' the run for it.
Get the door shut.
Old Cletus told Bo and Luke
about the pirate's blue van.
So they C.B.'d everybody
in Hazzard with their ears on
to keep a lookout.
Yo, Bo, Luke, got
'em in my sights.
'They're on Old Post road
heading towards Mud Flats.'
'Over.'
You can save a couple of
miles takin' Pokerville pass.
Hey, you're right.
- Them boys are gonna k*ll us.
- Ooh.
- I know it. I just know it.
- Oh.
And I don't wanna die.
Lulu'll get all my money.
- Oh, oh, oh, Boss, listen.
- Huh.
- I got it.
- Oh, you do. Thank goodness.
- Good news, good news.
- Oh, yeah? What?
All we gotta do is wait
till my horoscope runs out
and we'll be home free!
That's it!
Rosco, if we ever get
out of this thing alive
I'm gonna k*ll you.
Ah, ooh, ah!
I think he's runnin'
across the ploughed fields.
That scuffed me.
'Heep, how bad is
it? Can we get out?'
Boss, here.
Quit fidgeting with your
fat fingers and maybe
I can get you untied.
Alright, alright.
Now, this could get
to be a mite precarious.
Ah!
Somebody better throw
ol' Luke some sand.
- Here.
- There, you did it. I'm free.
- I did it.
- Alright, I'm free.
- How about me?
- Good for you.
Lookie there!
Luke! Luke, the General!
You know how sometimes
you don't always think clear?
Like why didn't
he shut her down?
I've done that.
Good.
- Cletus, run. Get out.
- I can't.
A-ah!
Wooh!
Well, them that gives, gets.
Bo and Luke finally found
out that Jordan and Dane
were real federal officers.
But, they were forgiven,
seeing how things turned out.
With no hard evidence to
connect Boss and Rosco
with Heep and Morton, Boss
and Rosco managed once again
to wiggle themselves
off the hook.
And owing his life to Bo
and Luke, Boss cleared
the boys of any connection
in the record piracy.
- Hey, look who's there.
- Hey, Mickey.
- H-hey.
- How you doin'? Good to see ya.
And remember that reward
on them record pirates?
Hey, I just dropped
by to say thanks.
- I brought the reward money.
- Oh, we can't take this.
'Course it hadn't occurred to
Boss that in clearing the Dukes
they'd get the reward money.
Which they'd later donate to
the Hazzard Orphan's Fund.
So, he did the next worst thing.
And put up the Hazzard
celebrity speed trap.
Where you don't
leave until you sing.
A lot.
Okay, everybody..
Alright!
Ooh, ooh, there
he is. That's him.
Thank you very much.
I'd like to dedicate this
first song to the Duke family.
- And to the sheriff.
- Ooh, that's me. That's..
Had it not been for his speed
trap, I wouldn't be here today.
A one, a two, a
one, two, three, go.
Rosco, come on, come on.
Keep movin'. Keep movin'.
Alright, here. Have your
luke-warm soda here.
- Here.
- And you, Cletus, Cletus.
Sell that stuff. You
don't get paid for dancing.
Two dollars, two dollars.
Get your hot corn right here.
Hot, hot corn.
Two dollars. C'mon.
Ha ha ha ha.
Too bad Rosco don't
have more patrol cars.
For next week, folks of
Hazzard would be hearing
the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.