12x35 - Karma Police: Part 1

[bunniefuu]

♪♪

Roomie!

You're in a good mood.

Well,
why wouldn't I be?

Imogen and I got
into design school,

I have the best roommate
in the world.

And I even made us dinner.

La vie est belle.

You cooked?

Well, I microwaved,
but it says "gourmet."

(Chuckles)

Woe is drew.

We need to talk.

Did something happen
with bianca?

No. No, this...
This is about us.

Uh, fiona, you've been
the best roommate,

But... I need to move out.

What? No! Drew!
But you're so happy here.

It makes more sense for me
to live at home.

You know,
save money and stuff.

But you can't leave me.

I need to be
with my family.

I miss them.

Yeah.

So...
When do you abandon me?

Tomorrow.

What?

Hmm?

Uh, tomorrow.

Look, I'm sorry,
it's sudden.

But I already paid you
this month's rent.

Yeah, but what about next month,
and the one after that?

What am I gonna do?

I don't know.

Get a new roommate.
A job.

If anyone can do it,
it's you.

You always do.

Well, you really know
how to break a girl's heart.

Uh, well... Thanks.

Thanks for dinner,

But I should probably
go pack.

(Keys jingle)

(Sighs)

(Sighs heavily)

♪♪

♪ Whatever it takes ♪

♪ I know I can make it through ♪

♪ And if I hold out ♪

♪ I know I can make it through ♪

♪♪

♪ Be the best ♪

♪ The best that I can be ♪

♪ Whatever it takes ♪

♪ I know I can make it ♪

♪ I can make it ♪

♪ I can make it through ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ I can make it through ♪
(ooh-ooh-ooh)

♪ I can make it through ♪

♪ I can make it ♪

♪ Whatever it takes ♪

♪ I know I can make it through ♪

Imogen:
what about the bubbly-skinned
gooey kind?

Eli:
I'm partial to pale
and veiny.

Imogen:
okay. Right.

Okay, ew.

How goes the search for
"fiona's next top roommate"?

Not well.

How was sitting your
step-siblings last night?

Easy peasy.

We experimented with
projectile zombie blood.

Why do you need
a new roommate, anyway?

Don't you own the loft?

Yeah, it's in my name
and paid for,

But a girl's gotta eat,
pay bills, condo fees.

Plus I have to start saving
for tuition next year.

And the mere thought
of a stranger in my home,

Sharing my bathroom...
Ugh!

So if a new roommate
is off the table,

What're you gonna do
for cash?

Drew thinks I should
get a job.

Eli:
that's a great idea.

Fiona:
yeah, I could work
after school, I guess,

And it'd be better
than being home alone!

Who's good at resumes?

Okay.
You guys are busy.

I'll figure it out
alone!

Madame jean-aux:
our next time traveller
will be, tori!

Tori:
(clears throst)

Uh... Si je pouvais remonter
dans le temps

Je retournerais a l'instant...

Before campbell saunders...

(Tears up)
se... Se tuer.

(Crying)

I would've tried
to help him.

Zig:
god, are you kidding me?

Madame jean-aux:
zig, something to share?

She knew the guy for - what? -
Like three months?

Tristan:
oh, that's rich,

Coming from the jerk
who kissed cam's girlfriend.

Tristan!

Zig:
at least I'm not being
a drama queen

About some guy
I hardly knew.

Madame jean-aux:
okay. Arrete!

Zig, if you are so eager
to speak,

Please, come and present
your assignment.

(Sighs)

If I could travel
back in time,

I'd go back to before this
dumb assignment ever existed.

Eli: (over pa)
background performers needed
for short film.

See eli goldsworthy
if you're interested.

Owen:
you eat lunch with alli.

You walk home with alli.

You stare at alli.

When are you gonna
ask her out?

It's not like that.
We're just friends.

Come on,
don't be like that!

I don't wanna push,

And besides, you don't even
know the whole story.

A man with secrets.
Girls like that.

All right, I'm sacrificing you
as my science partner.

Go.
Partner with alli.

All right.

Partners?

Uh, sure. Why not?

Cool.
All right,

So, uh,
my place tonight?

Alli:
uh, I said I'd help my dad
clean out the shed,

But I can do
tomorrow night.

Oh... Uh...

Hockey?

Appointment...
But I can cancel.

Okay.

Well,
then it's a date!

A science date,
right?

Yeah,
obviously a science date.

Man, you guys are
so gonna makeout.

(Dallas laughs)

Aw, come on.

Juwanna berry-splosion
sample?

Excuse me?

Free juice.

So you here
for a shopping spree?

Former fiona would be.

New fiona came to apply
for jobs

At the stores
she once shopped at.

Wow. Pink resumes
and all.

I guess you don't want a job
at juwanna juice?

You guys are hiring?

Yeah. I can ask my manager
if you want.

She's cool.

All right,
let's hear it.

Welcome to juwanna juice,

Where your wildest
juice fantasies come true.

How can I help you?

Hi! I'd like
a blackberry blaster

With a wheatgrass sh*t.

Okay.
Coming right up!

♪ I caught her eye ♪

♪ I don't know anymore ♪

You got this.

Just remember
what we talked about.

♪ Something tells me
that maybe ♪

♪ She's thinking the same ♪

♪ Might be crazy ♪

♪ But lately I've been winning
this game ♪

♪ My curiosity's to blame ♪

♪ Did she look at somebody ♪

♪ Tell me,
did she look ♪

♪ Or did I make it up... ♪

Mmm. Not bad.

Did I pass the training?

I now pronounce you
a juwanna juicer.

Now go forth
and make juice.

Thank you.

(Bell rings)

Damon:
let's go.

Knock, knock.
We got french, man.

I'm cuttin'.

You coming or what?

Agh!
Madame jean-aux's hot.

French is the only class
I don't wanna skip.

What's your problem?

Embarrassed about
yesterday?

Zig:
I just can't spend
another minute in that class

Listening to stupid tori
and stupid tristan

Talking about stupid cam.

It's so annoying.

Damon:
(chuckles)

Hey, that's jean-aux's car!

Zig:
yeah. No kidding.

(Car alarm blares)

Whoa! No! No!
Don't do that!

It's not worth it, man.

(Car alarm beeps off)

Madame jean-aux:
oui, c'est ma voiture.

I'll be seeing you two
after school.

Dallas:
all right.

We've got regular,
peanut,

Peanut butter,
almond,

And... Pretzel.

I'm not one for salty-sweets,
but hey, I don't judge.

Mmm. I hate you.

Dallas:
vanessa?!

Vanessa:
oh, sorry to interrupt
your little basement date.

Oh! Candy.

Hi. I'm vanessa.

Alli.
How do you know dallas?

Oh, mike and I go back.

I'm his ex.

Dallas:
uh... Listen, bhandari,

Maybe we should pick this up
tomorrow night?

You're kicking me out?

Oh! I get it.

Your "appointment"
was a date with your ex.

Dallas:
no, no! Alli! Alli!

Alli, wait!

Vanessa:
(chuckles)
the dallas touch, huh?

What are you doing here?

Registering for schools,
remember?

I meant here
in the basement!

You cancelled on us,
mike.

That is unacceptable.

Rocky:
daddy!

Hey! Ahhhh!
My rocket ship!

Where's my rocket ship!

No tickle?

Come on,
you gotta protect yourself.

Come on.
(Rocky giggles)

Yeah. What about here?
What about here?

(Laughing)

Oh, ticklish!
Oooh!

Fiona:
yeah.

And I didn't even spill!

Imogen:
hooray for no spilling!

I bet you look so cute
in your uniform.

Fruit on my head.
Very flattering.

I juiced, I cleaned,
and I stood around a lot.

Which is why I need
one of your foot massages.

Come over. I'll tell you
all about my shift!

Imogen:
so tempting,

But I have to finish painting
these zombie heads.

Fiona:
zombies, right.

I'll see you tomorrow, okay?

Imogen:
adios, fionita!

Bye.

(Sighs)

♪ You got far
and I got rain ♪

♪ You say things
I'd never say ♪

♪ You walk into
the darkest places ♪

♪ Seeking out
those blacked-out faces ♪

♪ I wish I had a part of you ♪

♪ A fraction of
your favourite do ♪

♪ Then I could do
greater things ♪

♪ That I have done before ♪

♪ One thing you can count on ♪

New haute couture look.

Hashtag
former rich girl problems.

(Phone chimes repeatedly)

♪ Never give up,
never give up too ♪

♪ If your dreams are shouting,
oh, never give up ♪

♪ Never give up on you ♪

♪ If you're lost
and call me ♪

♪ Never give up,
never give up on you! ♪

♪ You say I got value too,
to balance out the things... ♪

Remind me to punch you
again later.

Lunch duty stinks.

Yeah. I didn't force you
to cut class, all right?

And what woulda happened
if I wasn't there?

You woulda demolished
that car!

Madame jean-aux:
okay. That's enough for today.

Zig, a word before you go?

Just because you skipped
my class

Doesn't mean you skip
the assignment.

I expect you to present
next class.

What if I don't want to?

This zig, who skips,
talks back,

Doesn't do his homework...

That's not the zig
I know.

Do you have anything
to say for yourself?

I told cam to go away,

And he did...
Forever.

I was the last person
to talk to him.

Campbell was ill.

Anyone could have
set him off.

If not you,

It would have been
someone else.

Yeah, but it wasn't
someone else.

And that sucks.

But the only person
whose fault it is is cam's.

No one else's.

Okay, one of my volunteers
is sick

And I've got a big
french club event to set up.

You're welcome to help us.

I'm addicted.

I can tell.

I think my former rich girl
hashtag is really catching on.

I have ninety
new followers.

Oh! You go, girl.

Wait...
Who are all these people?

I don't know.

(Bell rings)

But some dude in wyoming
sent me a picture

Of a foot massager.

That's really weird.

But peep the retweets.

Thirty-four!
It's a personal best.

Okay, you really
are addicted.

Fiona:
well, when it's all quiet
at home,

It's like there's a little party
in my phone!

It's nice.
Should I tweet this?

Is it funny?

Um, what's that map thing?

Gps locator
or something?

So people can see
where you are?

I don't know.
Everyone has it.

Should I tweet this
or not?

Tweet away.

Just tell that dude in wyoming
you're taken.

That's my little man -
rock.

I call him rocky.

Drew:
mind. Blown.

You live with us.
How did we not know?

Your mom knew.

Confirms my theory
my mom knows everything.

Why didn't you tell me
and adam?

Dallas:
because I had a kid
when I was fifteen.

Not exactly
my proudest moment.

You know, I used to tell
everyone he was a mistake.

Dad of the year, huh?

Hey, no judging, man.
How often do you see him?

Every other weekend;
that's why I go to guelph.

That's where vanessa lives?

Used to live.

She lived near my parents
and they helped out,

But her dad got a transfer,
so she moved here.

Which means...
It's my turn to step up.

My biggest problem is,
what do I tell alli?

No, I wouldn't.

Not until you guys are like
a thing.

So I should lie?

No. No.
Let's call it um...

Truth delay.

(Bell rings)

Madame jean-aux:
zig! I'm glad you came!

Yeah.
I even brought back-up.

Where do I put this?

Madame jean-aux:
ah, merci. Voila. Parfait!

Is there anything else
can we do?

Ah, you can help the others
set up the rest of the tables.

Um, can I have your attention
please?

I just found out
that les perdrix

Won't be able to perform.

I'm sorry.

What do you want?

You do music.

What?

Think of how happy
madame would be if you sang.

You'd be her hero.
Napoleon.

(Sighs)

You're right;

I owe it to madame.

You came!

To talk,
not to listen.

You were so easy

When everything else
was complicated.

And now, when your ex-girlfriend
walks in...

I don't wanna feel upset,

Or disappointed,
or anything,

Because we're just friends.

That's it.
The end.

You may speak.

Me and vanessa are done.

(Scoffs)
here we go...

No, seriously.

We've been done
for a long time, alli.

Last night was just a uh...
A misunderstanding.

It's only you.

I just got over dave.

I am not gonna let you
do this to me.

What happened between you
and dave?

(Sighs)

I thought I was pregnant.

Scary, huh?

Yeah. Super scary.

Can you imagine being a mom
at sixteen?

Snotty little rugrat,

Running around,
ripping up my carpets,

While I'm trying to do
my trig homework?

No thank you.

Sorry,
I'm rumbling.

Why did you wanna
see me?

Oh, yeah. Um...

(Sighs)

(Chuckles)

(Sighs)

Alli:
(laughs) christmas lights?

I was trying to go
for more "romantic,"

But this is all
that was in the cubby.

(Laughs)

I'm not gonna kiss you.

Presumptuous!

Come on,
you were thinking it.

Even if I was...
Why not?

I wanna do this right.

I wanna save it
for our first official date.

What do you say?

Drama not included?

No drama.

Perfect.

(Chuckling)

(Keys jingle,
door shuts)

(Lights click on)

(Glass clinks)

Fiona:
what the...?

(Muffled screams)

Hooded figure:
see this?

Know what it does?

(Shaky breaths)

Hooded figure:
kneel on the floor.

Fiona:
t-take whatever you want.

Hooded figure:
get. On. Your knees.

(Crying)

Cover your eyes.

Count to thirty.

Fiona:
(shakily)
one... Two... Three...

And when I opened my eyes,
he was gone.

He left while
you were counting?

Was it at ten?
Fifteen? Twenty?

My eyes were closed.
I don't know.

Female officer:
when he grabbed you,

Which direction did he come
from?

I don't know.

When you came home,
was the door locked?

I unlocked it.

Are you sure?

I put my key
in the lock...

Female officer:
but you can't say for sure
that you unlocked the door.

I don't know!

Female officer:
did anybody know your apartment
was going to be empty?

Just my girlfriend,

But I trust her
with my life.

Female officer:
you didn't tell
anybody else?

No!

I tweeted that
I was gonna be at work, but...

But you don't think
that...

There's no way of knowing
for sure.

Thank you.

Imogen:
god, fiona, are you okay?

Yeah, I'm okay...

But no, not at all.

My laptop.
I need my laptop.

(Breathing heavily)

Stolen. Of course.

Imogen:
here. You can use mine.

This is all my fault.

How is this your fault,
fiona?

I tweeted that
I was gonna be at work.

One of my followers
knew I'd be out.

He must have followed
the gps location

Of one of my home tweets,
and broke in.

I was so desperate
for strangers' attention

And I got it.

I got what I deserved.

Stop it, okay?
You're talking nonsense.

This probably has nothing
to do with twitter.

It could've been
anybody.

That makes me feel
a lot better.

Do you wanna call
your mom?

No. No way.
She'll freak.

And she has enough problems
right now,

She doesn't need this too.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

Besides, I have you.

Don't ever leave,
okay?