12x23 - Doll Parts: Part 1

[bunniefuu]

Maya:
♪ you say you wanna share
your feelings ♪

♪ Well,
I've got feelings, too! ♪

(Strums guitar hard,
frustrated)

Thoughts?

(Sighs)
I'm an idiot!

I keep getting ,

But the answer key says
I'm supposed to be getting .

No; about the song.
It's about you.

I'm sorry,
I'm really homework-distracted

Right now.

(Sighs) well,
you seem stressed.

Let's take a break.

Uh, I really need
to figure this out.

I've got a big test
coming up.

Cam, come on,

We've been dating
for like a month

And we've only kissed
six times.

Seven.

That's it?

Look, with my arm,
and school, and everything,

It's just hard
to get in the mood.

(Exhales)
what about now?

What are you doing?

I don't know.

Maya,

What if my billet mom
comes in?

Maya:
so just give me my shirt!
Agghhh!

(Hard thump,
papers rustle)

You okay?

Yeah, I just have to go.

Well, you don't have
to go.

Obviously I do.

Your math homework's
really important.

Maya...

♪ Whatever it takes ♪

♪ I know I can make it through ♪

♪ And if I hold out ♪

♪ I know I can make it through ♪

♪♪

♪ Be the best ♪

♪ The best that I can be ♪

♪ Whatever it takes ♪

♪ I know I can make it ♪

♪ I can make it ♪

♪ I can make it through ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ I can make it through ♪
(ooh-ooh-ooh)

♪ I can make it through ♪

♪ I can make it ♪

♪ Whatever it takes ♪

♪ I know I can make it through ♪

Where's tori?

You know,
it hurts my feelings

That you didn't even
say hello.

Hello, zig.
Where's tori?

She got a ride today.

And there she is.

Wow.

Guess she's trying out
a new pageant look.

I can't believe tori
does those pageants.

I mean, what decade
are we living in?

Zig:
I don't know
but I like it.

(Whistles)

You look good,
babe.

Oh stop.
How good?

So what's the pageant
this time?

Miss teeny bikini top?

Miss spray tan?

Ooh!
Miss bleached teeth?

It's the miss millennial
canada pageant,

And it's very important.

Okay.
Goodbye, zig.

I need girl talk.

What's wrong?

I tried to make out
with cam,

But he wouldn't.

Maybe you're sending him
mixed signals.

I took my shirt off.

That's kind of guiding him
onto the runway, isn't it?

Right? And still...
Crash landing

At miles
per hour!

I landed on the floor
in my bra.

What kind of bra -
lace, push-up, strapless?

Sports.

What?!

Uh, maybe you need to make
more of an effort,

Appearance-wise.

Oh! Brainwave!

I could give you
a full makeover,

Then you can do
the pageant with me.

If cam saw you on stage
looking like a pageant queen,

He'd go gaga.

Cam's not superficial
like that.

All guys are superficial
like that.

(Exhales, determined)

(Laughing)

Marisol:
(clears throat)

Who wants to go
on a couples' vacay

To puerto vallarta
this spring break?

Oh my god!
Your parents said yes?

Marisol: si!
Katie: yay!

Jake:
(laughs) I can't believe
we all got permission,

Especially fresh-out-of-rehab
matlin' here.

Okay, guys,
I worked really hard

To get my parents'
trust back.

Jake:
maybe it's your boyfriend
they trust.

I do have a very...
Trustworthy smile.

Puerto vallarta,
guys!

This is gonna be
the best trip of our lives.

Yeah.
No pressure.

My mom's one condition:

We all get travel insurance.

So these health forms
need to be filled out asap.

Jake:
senorita, would you mind?

No. Not at all.

Okay.
Name. Address.

Any medical conditions
I should be aware of?

Uh, yeah;
I burn easily.

O-kay. I think I know
the answers

To all the other questions.

Jake:
thanks. I hate paperwork.

See ya.

Bye.

Mo, I can fill yours out
for you.

Don't sweat it.

It's not a problem.

No, okay?
I can manage.

That was weird.

Maybe mo likes
filling out forms.

No one likes
filling out forms!

Well, except for you.

(Chuckles)

(School bell rings)

Dallas:
ten... Eleven... One more.

Twelve.

Fierce, dude.

Adam:
I'm only up five pounds.

So? A personal best
is a personal best.

At this rate,
it's gonna take me weeks

To get up
to what you can press.

So? That's why it's called
working out.

Besides what else
are you gonna do?

Avoid becky baker.

She back
from brainwashing camp?

Adam:
yeah, apparently it only takes
one week to get over me.

Oh, and I was thinking of
going out for a sports team.

A guy's team?

Adam:
volleyball.

I've been practicing
for the last few weeks

And I actually think
I have a chance.

Audra:
you guys better hope
and pray

That I have meat
in the freezer.

Adam:
oh, yeah.

Mom, we kinda ate
the chicken breasts

After school.

(Sighs)

How many eggs and chicken
can two kids eat?

Well, depends on
what came first.

Hey, adam, just be careful
with the weights, okay?

Adam:
it's only a third
of what dallas can lift.

Well, he's got
a few more muscles.

Adam:
yeah. One word: testosterone.

If you'd let me
start taking t,

I'd have muscles
like dallas

And facial hair like dallas,
and a deep voice-

Probably not like dallas.

Probably not, but still.
Mom-

Adam, we've been over this,
okay?

The answer is still no.

In the meantime,
please just be careful

With all the physical stuff.

I already have one son
with brain damage.

Be safe.

Adam:
okay.

Guess that's a no-go
on the volleyball team.

Maya:
♪ your words are touching ♪

♪ And I wanna be touched ♪

♪ Your eyes,
they hold me ♪

♪ And I wanna be held... ♪

♪ Your sentiment is evident ♪

♪ Your thoughts
have all been heard ♪

♪ Come on, boy,
get to it ♪

♪ 'Cuz actions speak louder
than words! ♪

(Claps)

You liked it?

It's perfect.

Can you can teach imogen
the vocals?

Imogen?!

Who else?

It'd be kinda weird if zig
were to sing those words,

Right?

Yeah.

That's why I was thinking
maybe I could sing it.

Seriously?

Well, I wrote it,
didn't i?

And it's k*ller.

But this is like
a sexy song.

I mean, if we want to win
battle of the bands,

We need guys to lust over
the girl

Who's singing it,
right?

And guys can't lust
over me?

Well, you look like
you're ten.

Ten?!

Okay, twelve.

Okay, fine,
I'll teach imogen the vocals.

Awesome!

(Rips paper)

(Paper rustles)

Ow.

Agh!
It's paper, princess.

Look, I can't stop thinking
about mo acting weird earlier.

Mare, why do you obsess
over the smallest things?

My boyfriend doesn't
want me to fill out

His health form
for him.

I don't know,

Maybe he has some embarrassing
medical problem.

He has a secret.

But why won't he trust me
with it?

Maybe you guys
aren't there yet.

God, we've been dating longer
than you and jake.

If it's bothering you
that much,

Why don't you just
talk to mo?

But then I'm the overbearing
girlfriend

Who needs to know
everything!

Maya:
I can't believe I let you guys
talk me into this.

When cheesy sees you
on that stage,

It'll be an all-out
make-out.

Hold on, I didn't agree
to the pageant,

Just the makeover.

I feel like
I'm looking through spiders.

When you hit that stage
and all eyes are on you,

It'll be worth it.

I don't care what a bunch
of random strangers think,

Just cam.

Are you sure
I don't look ridiculous?

Tristan:
on a scale from pretty
to totally gorge...

Katie:
(bursts out laughing)

Tristan, you were supposed
to bar the door

So no one could get in.

What is happening
right now?

Oh, maya's doing
a beauty pageant!

Maya:
maybe.

A what?
Maya, that's absurd-

Katie, go find
another bathroom!

(Laughing)
okay.

Don't worry
about your sister.

Wait until you see
the new you.

Do you think cam
will like it?

He'd be crazy not to.

Agh!

Agh!

Agh!

(Blows whistle)

Armstrong:
okay, guys,
thank you very much.

We'll see you tomorrow
for the next set.

Adam:
there is not enough energy drink
in the world, right now.

Connor:
there probably is.

Adam, a word please?

Sir, if you have concerns
about me trying out-

Only one.

You need a signed
permission form.

I need one?
Only me?

No. Everybody else already
handed theirs in.

I know your mom's been
concerned about you

In the past
in gym class,

But there's very little risk
of getting hurt.

I know.

You're a darn fine setter.

Maybe tell your mom that.

Thanks, coach.

Maya:
guess what?!

Cam:
did you download " "
for us to watch?

Maya:
I got a new look.

(Chuckling)

Why exactly do you
look like this?

I was thinking of entering
one of tori's beauty pageants

With her.

Why?

I mean, it's not really
your thing.

Because I'm not
pretty enough?

No. No, no, no.
It's just...

I don't know...
It's not you.

So you don't like this?

Do you?

Forget it!

I have no idea
what you want!

(Slams door)

(Snivelling)

Zig:
hey, is everything okay?

Whoa.

Great! You think I look
ridiculous too.

No. No, no, no.

I'm actually kinda digging
the raccoon eyes.

Shut it.

Are you robbing
a bank later?

Stop!

I showed cam my pageant look
and he laughed his head off.

What? You're entering
the pageant?

But you think
they're dumb.

Well, tori's boyfriend
likes that she does them.

I just thought
that cam would too.

I was wrong.

Why do you like that
tori's a beauty queen?

When tori's on stage,

She acts like she owns
the room,

And I wanna be
around that.

You mean you wanna
make out with that!

Well...

So are you gonna
enter?

No way.

Just 'cause what
cam thinks?

If you want to do the pageant,
then go for it.

But I have to wear heels
and a gown

And perform a talent

In front of a bunch
of judgey... Judges.

Okay, look, I've seen
some of the talents

At these things,
all right?

Somersaults.
Baton twirling.

You'll slay
those other girls.

So you really think
I have a sh*t?

I do.

But, uh, you might wanna
fix your eyes first.

There's something
I have to tell you -

A secret -
about me.

I, uh, cheated on
my last math test.

Mo,
I'm talking to you.

Hello...
Earth to mo...

Sorry, what?

I said, I cheated on
my last math test!

Did you get caught?

No, I didn't.
Um, your turn.

Tell me something
I don't know about you.

Uh...

A secret.

It's a game.

Are you nervous?

No.

Then why are you
sweating buckets?

I am?

Huh?

You're not even listening
to me.

What's going on
with you?

I need to take a leak.

I'm trying
to talk to you.

First leak,
then talk.

Adam:
hey, mom,

Can I float an idea
by you?

Audra:
oh. Hey! Yeah.
You startled me.

Adam:
sorry.

Are you crying?

No, no. It's nothing.
I'm fine.

Drew's shirt.

You miss him.

I basically
drove him away.

No, you didn't.

Audra:
he's got serious
medical issues.

He dropped out of school.

He's moved out.

Now he thinks he's getting
married this summer.

Getting married?
To bianca?!

(Sighs)
apparently.

Don't worry.

He'll find a way
to mess it up.

He always does.

I'm not sure if that makes me
feel better or worse.

Sometimes I think his behaviour
is all my fault.

It's not.

I can't even keep
my children safe.

We don't exactly
make it easy.

More evidence that I'm awful -

Having my own child
reassure me.

I'm not a child.

No, you're not...

And you're still here.

And safe, right?

I'm still here,
and safe.

(Music plays,
room buzzes with chatter)

Maya:
what did I get myself into?

Tori:
is cam coming?

Maya:
we had a fight, so no.

I forgot about
the audience part -

That there would be one.

And what about
the other contestants?

No one's going to kneecap me
with a wrench, are they?

Tori:
like we're that catty.

Besides, only ten girls make it
to the next round.

I wouldn't worry
about jealousy.

Oh. Because I don't
have any sh*t

Of making the next round,
right?

I competed for years

Before I made it
to the finals.

Just have fun.

When you hit that runway,
you will feel awesome,

I promise!

Announcer:
and tonight,
your host ben mulroney!

(Applause)

Ben mulroney:
welcome to round one

Of the miss millennial
canada pageant!

(Applause)

All you have to do
is walk.

And talk.

Don't forget about
the talking part.

(Sighs heavily)

(Birds chirp)

(Low hum of chatter nearby)

(Car starts nearby)

(Zipper unzips)

Mmm...
Boy, do I feel better!

Want some cookie?

I have to go.

Mare!

Tori:
I love cheerleading,
black and white movies,

And fashion,
and, of course, performing!

Thanks so much!

(Applause)

Ben mulroney:
and thank you.

All right, time to meet
our next contestant.

She is a first-time entrant,
miss maya matlin!

(Applause)

Maya: oof!
Audience: ohhh!

Oh my god,
is she all right?

There's a girl who knows
how to make an entrance!

(Audience chuckles)

Maya, tell us a little bit
about yourself.

Uh, well,
I'm maya matlin...

But you already know that.

I love playing cello,
soccer,

And being a clumsy goof...

Onstage,
in front of strangers.

Ben mulroney:
thank you, maya.

(Audience chuckles
and applauds)

Adam:
this ball feels heavier
than last time.

Dallas:
it is. It gets heavier
every time;

That's how you build
strength.

Is it gonna help
with volleyball?

Yeah.
And pick up chicks.

How'd the tryouts go?

Great!

Except for the part
where I need a parent

To sign
a permission slip.

You still think
your mom's gonna forbid you

From playing?

I mean, volleyball's
not even a real sport!

Agh! It is too!

And no, I don't think
she'll stop me from playing,

But she'll worry.

You're gonna make me cry,
mama's boy!

(Laughs)

But what do I do?
I wanna play.

All you need is a signature
that says audra torres.

Doesn't matter
who wrote it.

So you're saying
I should forge it?

What your mom doesn't know
won't hurt her.

All right,
let's go.

(Sighs)

Ben mulroney:
ladies and gentlemen,
the moment has arrived.

Let's find out
which ten girls

Will advance to the final round
tomorrow!

First up,

Miss tori santamaria!

(Squeals)

Girl:
way to go, tori!

(Applause)

The next finalist
is miss janelle moyet!

Look, if the judges
don't pick you,

Then they're dumb.

What part of falling on my ass
did you miss?

I mean it.
You're the best, maya.

Aw!

I wish cam felt
that way.

Well, if he doesn't,
then he's an idiot

And you deserve better.

Too bad you're off
the market.

Ben mulroney:
and our last finalist

Is none other
than miss maya matlin!

I told ya!

Girl:
congratulations, maya!

(Applause)

Ben mulroney:
well, congratulations, girls!

We will see you all
at the finals tomorrow!

Thank you very much.

(Applause)

Maya:
I cannot believe I made it!

Tori:
me too!

Maya:
you were right, tori!
This feels awesome!

Katie:
hey! I got your text.

What's the emergency?

Um...

I know mo's secret.

I snooped in his bag.

Snooping? Mare!

Look,
it's a good thing I did.

Look what I found.

A needle?

Why would mo have
a needle?

Because mo does dr*gs,
katie.

It's the only explanation.

He was acting
completely stoned

And he couldn't even follow
a simple conversation!

No, there must be
another reason-

And then he bolts out of there
like he's jonesing big-time.

A few minutes later
he gets back

And acts like
nothing happened.

In his defense,

Mo isn't the type
to do dr*gs.

Neither were you.

Okay...
Point taken.

Look, I need
to confront him.

Get him to admit
the truth,

And then make him stop.

Are you sure about this?

Yeah. I just...
I want a guy like zig.

Uh... Zig's taken.

I know.
I said a guy "like" zig,

Emphasis like.

Tori, he treats you
like a queen,

And he makes you feel good
about yourself every day.

And you should totally
have that too.

You're a miss millennial canada
top ten after all!

Thanks.

Okay, here we go.

Hi, cam.

Yeah, I'm sorry about
our fight too,

But...

I've been thinking...

We should take
a break.

Not a break, no.
We should just break up.

I know, but...

Look, I'm sorry.
Bye.

What did he say?

Nothing, as usual.

So long, campbell saunders.
Nice knowing ya.