02x28 - Wizards vs. Vampires: Dream Date

[bunniefuu]

Keep your arm steady.

Aim and follow through.

Oh, my goodness! I got points!

Nice going, Russo.
Try it on your own this time.

On my own? Oh...

No. Now I'm torn between admitting
I've gotten pretty good at skeeball

and wanting you to keep doing that cuddly,
guiding my arm thing you were doing.

- Let's get something to eat.
- OK.

Welcome to Betty's and Fleming's.

Please tap in your order.

I'll order for you. It's romantic.

Barbecue bacon cheese
burger with curly fries...

...in the bun.

And a double chocolate shake,

with whipped cream on the bottom.

You know me.

Doesn't it freak you out how
perfect we are together?

Nah, I don't think about it.

'Cause then I'd be thinking
instead of enjoying it.

Dean, you just made sense.

This is the best date ever.

Do that thing I think is cool.

Again. I love that!

Oh!

Finger snapping,
bacon burgers, milkshakes...

It's like I'm a princess.

Ah!

What a nice dream.

Oh, man. I'm late for school.

Try again tomorrow.

See you in your dreams
tomorrow night, Dean.

Oh, Gosh!

Harper, what are you doing here?

Waiting for you to stop
using the dream helmet.

Hurry up. We're gonna
be late for school.

We can't sneak in because I'm
wearing my squeaky shoes.

Harper, I just had another
perfect date with Dean.

He took me to that touch-screen
place and ordered for me...

Dean moved away months ago.

You've got to stop using magic
to date him in his dreams.

- It's just wrong.
- Look...

I go into his dreams and
I control everything,

so it's exactly the way I want.

Since Dean moved away,
our relationship has never been better.

Do you ever listen to yourself?

Or is there some invisible shield
that blocks the words from your ears?

You're just mad because I went to
Betty's and Fleming's without you.

No, I'm not. Touch screen ordering?

It's dehumanizing when a
robot gets your order wrong.

And, if we don't watch out, robots are
going to unite and take over everything.

How do you know I'm not one...
I'm not one...

- I'm not one...
- It's happening!

♪ Well, you know everything's
gonna be a breeze ♪

♪ That the end will no doubt
justify the means ♪

♪ You can fix any problem with
the slightest of ease ♪

♪ Yes, please ♪

♪ But you might find out it'll
go to your head ♪

♪ When you write a report on a
book you never read ♪

♪ With the snap of your fingers
you can make your bed ♪

♪ That's what I said ♪

♪ Everything is not
what it seems ♪

♪ When you can get all you wanted
in your wildest dreams ♪

♪ You might run into trouble
if you go to extremes ♪

♪ Because everything is
not what it seems ♪

♪ Everything is not
what it seems ♪

♪ When you can have what you want
by the simplest of means ♪

♪ Be careful not to mess with
the balance of things ♪

♪ Because everything is not ♪

♪ What it seems ♪

Tears of Blood totally rocked.

I'm not just saying that because I'm a
vampire and love anything to do with blood.

I had so much fun with you,

I completely ignored my
self-prescribed bedtime.

I'm gonna get, like,
minutes less sleep than usual.

But totally worth it.

Oh, hey, Justin!

So, my family and I are
going away on vacation.

And I don't want to be away
from you for that long.

So, I was wondering if you want
to come with us to the lake?

Yeah. Yeah, sure.
That would be great.

I'm gonna ask my parents.

I mean, they can't still
treat me like I'm a kid.

They can't say I'm not ready to go
away with my girlfriend and her family.

Sounds like fun.
Juliet's a sweet girl.

Stop yelling at me! I get it.

You don't want me to go.

Justin, I'm giving you my permission to
go away with your vampire girlfriend.

As long as you're hanging
upside down in separate rooms.

Great. But, we should
probably ask Mom, huh?

She might think that Juliet and I

are getting too serious too fast.

Which we're not.

Even though a lot of people and
parenting books might say that we are.

Justin, you've got to stop
buying me those parenting books.

I'm not gonna read them.

Dean's here?

Alex, are we in one of
your dream dates right now?

Dean?

No, it really is Dean. He is here.

It's really me, Russo. Finkle.

Moriarty. It's been long enough.

I believe a friendly
hug is in order.

Alright, I'm not ready.

Ah! Same old Finkle.

What are you doing here?

Well, I've been thinking
about you a lot lately.

And you've been in
a lot of my dreams.

- Wha...
- Oh.

So I took my vacation days
from school a little early.

You don't get to choose your
vacation days from school.

This is why I don't hug you.

Dean hug her.

Justin, hey!

Did you talk to your dad?
Can you go?

Uh, yeah, I talked to him.

And he said... no.

I... I can't go.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Wait! It's not because
I'm a vampire is it?

No! They're totally over that.

You're like the most normal
magical girl I've ever dated.

Yeah. Alex told me
about the werewolf.

Um, my dad...

He reads all these
parenting books and,

apparently, they say
it's not a good idea.

I got mad at him though, so mad.

And he got this serious look
on his face and he was like:

"No way, Justin.
And don't bring it up again."

So if you see him...

...wouldn't bring
it up if I were you.

- Well, did he say why?
- Yeah, yeah.

Something about us getting
too serious too fast.

I mean, we are getting
pretty serious.

I'm fine with it.

But you know parents.

They get all serious
about getting serious.

Well, I'll really miss you.

Me too.

I should get back to work.

OK. Um...

The usual, please.

Mustard? Again?

What's going on with you?
You know the usual has ketchup.

Right.

Don't call the cops. I'll fix it.

We need to figure out
what's happening between us.

I think I figured out
what's happening.

You're holding up the line.

Next!

Yes! I nailed it.

OK, you have enough tickets
to buy a pencil sharpener now.

Can I go?

Come on, Russo. You know
you're no good at skeeball.

Right. Yes.

But maybe you could show me

by guiding my arm in a
cuddly way, like this.

Yeah, right.

Oh, sweet! I b*at my own record.

Let's eat.

Welcome to Betty's and Fleming's.

Please tap in your order.

Oh. Are you ordering for me?

No. I'm playing Bonko.

sh**t. I bonked out.

I'm going again. You got any
money left on your game card?

Uh, Dean...

You're not really
paying attention to me.

What are you talking about?
I'm here, aren't I?

Yes, but we haven't seen
each other in months,

and you're more interested in
this stupid Bonko game.

OK, fine.

Why don't you order your food?

You want me to order myself?
You don't want to order for me?

No, actually, you order for me.

I'm gonna go get that pencil
sharpener from the prize tent.

Dean, this is a date.
We're staying together.

Barbecue bacon cheese burger,
with curly fries inside the bun.

A double chocolate shake,
with whipped cream on the bottom.

You've got to stop
eating like that.

A giant of hunk of meat
will just wreck your heart.

Yeah, that's not the only thing
that's wrecking my heart.

Bonko!

- Well, you were right.
- I knew it.

I'm in your dream. Can I fly?

- When do I get wavy?
- Harper! This isn't a dream.

You were right about me and Dean.

We've grown apart and I've been fooling
myself by going into his dreams.

You only made it worse,
because you created Dream Dean

and you now expect Real
Dean to be someone he's not.

I said you were right.
See, a lot of times you are right,

and this is exactly
why I don't tell you.

So what are you going to do?

I'm gonna do what I should've
done in the first place.

I'm gonna break up with him.

- Breaking up is always hard.
- How do you know?

You're making it hard
to be supportive.

But, Harper, you're right.

It is going to be hard.

I don't want to hurt his feelings.

This would be so much easier
if he just broke up with me.

Hey, that's a good idea!
Get him to break up with you.

I could do that.

But it'll be a challenge
because you're awesome.

I like you.

- Oh, that's such a relief.
- Really?

I get a little insecure from
time to time, but I'm back.

- Mr. Russo. Is Justin around?
- I haven't seen him.

He must be packing
for his big trip.

Why would he be packing?
He can't go.

He can't go?

He'll be so disappointed.
He was really excited.

Yeah, yeah. I know.
So why can't he go?

I don't know, you haven't told me.

So you didn't say, "no"?

No. I mean, yes, I didn't say no.

- Are we clear here?
- I think so.

Good. Because I'm not.

You said "yes" and he said "no."

Oh!

- Justin.
- Hey.

Why did you say you couldn't
go on vacation when you could?

Because... I...

I didn't think this
moment would happen.

Because if I did...

...probably wouldn't have done it.

If you didn't want to go with
me you should've just said so.

Look, Juliet, I'm...

I'm...

I'm... sorry. I wasn't thinking.

It is probably because of the
minutes of sleep I lost.

I am no good with less
than eight hours of sleep.

Yeah. Well, it looks like you're no good
with more than eight hours sleep either.

Hey, Max. Maybe you can
help me with something.

How do you get your brother to
say what's really on his mind?

- Oh, I use randomness.
- What?

Well, I just say random
things and while people are

trying to figure it out,
they say stuff that's on their mind.

Have you ever noticed that
pineapples never wear bathrobes?

Why... Why would you even say that?

We were talking about how Justin
doesn't want to go on vacation with me,

and how I'm really upset by that,

because I think I might
be in love with him.

Hey. That random
thing really works.

What? What random thing?

I haven't even done it yet.

OK, how about this idea?

Dean will totally break up with you if
you wear something totally repulsive.

I could use a spell
to make me a slob.

I mean, nobody wants
to date someone gross.

OK.

What I need now is the
opposite of clean.

Make me a girl without hygiene.

Whoa!

You're hideous.

Awesome. It worked.

OK.

Normally I'd stick around and check out
whatever flies out of that nest on your
head...

...but you reek.
Keep your arms down, please.

Hey, Harper. What's up?

Your chances of getting a rash.

- Whoa!
- Hi, baby.

Oh, wait. Let me fix myself.

Hi, baby.

Oh, man.

I'm gonna try and say
this as nice as I can...

...but you look like something I
snaked out of my shower drain.

Well. I held myself
together for our date,

but this is really the way I am.

- It's pretty disgusting, huh?
- Oh! Yeah. You are.

Makes you not want to be around me.

I totally understand.

No, I get it.
This is because of me.

Well, yeah.

Since I left, you've been
overwhelmed with sadness...

...and you just let yourself go.

I've seen people like
you on talk shows.

Don't worry, I'm gonna
help you get back on track.

- Where's the floss?
- What? No. Dean. No.

- That's not what I want.
- Ooh! Of course not.

And you probably don't want a warm
wash cloth behind the ears either.

Now, where's your wash cloth?

I thought you'd see me like
this and want to break up.

You want to break up?

Well, now that you bring it up...

Since it's your idea and all I
think that maybe, maybe we...

We should.

OK. Then let's break up.

Really? Oh? Well...

...that was easy.

That was really easy.

That was really, really easy.

No big deal. See ya.

What was that?

Hey, Dad.

You must have noticed how down
I was and wanted to come talk.

No. We need the table.

OK. We can talk.

I lied to Juliet and
now she's mad at me.

About that. Why didn't you
want to go on the vacation?

- You really like Juliet.
- I know.

It's just, I've never been
in a relationship this long.

And going on vacation with
a girl and her family...

It's... I mean, it's serious and...

It just feels like
it's happening fast.

So you're afraid.

Why? I mean, it's not like they were going
to have you sleep in a guest coffin.

I think they were.

Look, Justin, I...

Going away with a girl's
family is a big step.

And I said "yes" because
I think you're ready.

Having your first
serious girlfriend

is all part of growing up.

You read those parenting books.

It was on the back.

I really messed up.

Messing up is also
part of growing up.

I'm still growing up.

Just ask your mother.

So what do I do now?

Tell her you want to go
on the vacation with her.

I can't. They already left.

Here.

I feel bad enough without
you throwing things at me.

These are the keys
to the flying carpet.

Why don't you see if you
can't catch up with her.

Thanks, Dad.

And then I said I
wanted to break up.

He agreed,
and then just walked out.

- I mean, what was that?
- I don't get it.

You wanted to break up and you did.

Mission accomplished, right?

Yeah, sure, I got what I wanted.

I don't know. I guess I just
thought he'd fight for me.

Well, it was a pretty
convincing spell.

And you know Dean,
he doesn't talk a lot,

say what he's thinking,
or share much.

What'd you see in him?

Well, Dream Dean was good
at expressing himself.

Well, he wasn't real,
and you were controlling it.

I know.

And it was wrong.

You know I'm against this,

but you could go back into
Dean's dream one more time

and get the break up
you really wanted.

- You're awesome.
- I like you.

Oh, that's a relief.

- Really?
- No. I always knew.

- Hey, Russo.
- Hi, Dean. Listen...

Most of the time I come into your
dreams and I control everything.

But not this time. It's your dream.

You can say and do
whatever you want.

I can?

Cool.

- Abraham Lincoln?
- Yeah.

Well, it's my dream, and in my dreams, I
like to have the th president as my wing
man.

So what's up, Russo?

Oh, I wanted to talk to
you about our break up.

- I don't know.
- Go ahead, Dean.

Tell her how you really feel.
It's best to be honest.

After all, that is my nickname.

What does Mister One Six
have to do with honesty?

I'll let you wear my stovepipe hat.

OK.

Here it is.

I couldn't be real with you
when we broke up because...

...it was just too painful.

- It was?
- Yeah, it was.

I've never known anyone like you.

And the only way for me to get through it
was to tell you that it was no big deal.

You'll always be my
first love, Alex.

That's one thing that
will never change.

Same here.

Goodbye, Dean.

All right!

Well, alright...
Let's play some skeeball.

Juliet, wait up!

Justin!

My dad loaned me his flying carpet.

I am so glad you came.

Hey, um...

I have to talk to
you about something.

Remember when you
said you loved me?

Yeah. That was embarrassing.

No, no. It wasn't.

Because...

...I love you, too.

What? I can't hear you? Fly closer.

I said,

I love you, too.

I love you, too, too.

- Hey!
- whoa!

Why does your carpet
make so much noise?

Um, yeah, it...

It needs a tune up.
It might break down.

Don't worry. If you fall,
I'll catch you.

I know that we've had our problems,

but I really want to work it out.

Do you want to...

...pass out fliers?

If that's what it takes.

All right.

One usual coming up.

Nice gesture wearing
that hot dog suit for me.

What?

Oh, this? Oh, no! It's not for you.

It's for something I'm doing later.