02x03 - Lesson Zero

Episode transcripts for the TV show "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic". Aired: October 2010 to October 2019.*
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02x03 - Lesson Zero

Post by bunniefuu »

Quill.

Check.

Parchment.

Check.

Extra ink.

Check.

Extra-extra ink.

Check.

Is that everything on the checklist?

-Yep!
-Great.

Now that we've completed the checklist
of things we need to create a checklist...

...we can make my checklist of the things
I have to get done by the end of the day.

Ready?

Ready!

Item : Create checklist of the things
I have to accomplish by the end of the day.

How are we doing, Spike?

Let's see...

We've already dropped off
your cape at the cleaner's...

...returned the blackboard
you borrowed from Cheerilee...

...ordered new parchment and quills
from the stationery shop...

Hmm... Seems like we just placed
an order for those a few days ago.

Can imagine why we go
through so many of them.

Sounds like we're ahead
of schedule. What's next?

Cupcakes!

Uh, I only ordered twelve.

Oh, I know, dear.

But I had an extra, so I though
I'd make it a baker's dozen.

Oh, that was very thoughtful of you.

It's just some of the icing
from the extra cupcake...

...is getting all over
the one next to it. See?

Oh! Sure.

It's just that I'm planning on
sharing these at a picnic later...

...and I don't want anypony to feel like
somepony else is getting more icing.

Oh... no, of course not.

Not to worry.

I'll just move some of this one to...

Hmm... I think I may have
scooped too much.

Oops! Now those two have more.

Let's just try this again.

Hmm... No, that won't do.

Let me just... hmm...
put some here, then...

Perfect!

Hmm, oh yes. Much better.

Okay! Time to tackle
the next item on our...

Oops!

Looks like we're gonna have to add
"Give a baby dragon a bath" to our list.

Very efficient! And a little bit gross.

Looks like that's everything.

Almost everything.

"Triple-check checklist to make sure
we didn't miss anything..."

"...when the double-checked
the checklist".

Uh, check.

I've been holding that quill so long
I've got a claw cramp.

Good thing we don't have anything
to report to Princess Celestia this week.

I don't think I can write another word.

We haven't sent a letter
to Princess Celestia this week?!

Why? Is that bad?

Bad?! BAD?! Of course it's bad!

I'm supposed to send Princess
Celestia a letter every week...

...telling her about a lesson
I've learned about friendship!

Not every other week.
Not every ten days.

Every! Single! Week!

Where's my calendar?!
Where's my calendar?!

Where it always is?

When did we send the last one?

Last Tuesday?

And today is...

Tuesday?

Nonononononono...

If I don't send her a letter
by sundown, I'll be...

TARDY!!!

What's that now?

Tar-dy, Spike. Late! I'll be late!

Oh, how could I've let this happen?
I'm usually so organized.

I've never been late for an assignment.

Oh, please! You're the most
studious student ever.

I'm sure the princess will forgive you
if you miss one little deadline.

I'm afraid to take that chance, Spike.

This is the ruler of all of Equestria
we're talking about.

The pony who holds
my fate in her hooves.

What if she doesn't forgive me?

Yeah, I don't think she...

What if instead she starts thinking...

...I'm not taking my studies
on friendship seriously?

Why would she...

What if she makes me come back to
Canterlot and puts me back in school...

...and makes me *prove* I've been
taking them seriously by giving me a task?

What if I don't pass?!

-But why wouldn't you pass...
-She's my teacher!

Do you know what teachers do
to students who don't pass?

THEY SEND THEM BACK A GRADE!

But she won't just send me back a grade.

She'll send me back to...

...magic kindergarten.

Twilight.

Twilight!

That is the most ridiculous
thing I've ever heard!

You're not gonna be sent back
to magic kindergarten.

You're right. I have no reason to worry.

Because I'm going to solve
a friend's problem...

...and get that letter to Princess
Celestia before sundown!

So...

Got any problems, troubles, conundrums
or any other sort of issues...

...major or minor, that I as a good
friend could help you solve?

I got nothin'.

Then it looks like I'm gonna have to
find somepony who does.

This won't end well.

You've got this, Twilight.

You still have plenty of time to
get that letter to Princess Celestia.

Has to be somepony around here
who needs the help of a good friend.

Rarity!

Don't worry, Rarity! I'm here!

Why me?

WHY, WHY, WHY?!

Of all the worst things
that could happen...

...this is the! Worst! Possible! Thing!

What's happened?! Are you all right?

I've lost my diamond
encrusted purple ribbon!

I have searched HIGH!
And I have searched low.

LOW AND HIGH!
High and low.

But I can't find it anywhere!

ANYWHERE!

How can I possibly finish
my latest creation if I can't find it?

Never fear, Rarity. As your friend
I'll do my best to help you fi...

Oh, there it is.

Isn't it always just
the last place you look.

So you just lost your ribbon...

...but now you've found it.

Yeah.

And nothing else is bothering you?

Nothing that I as a good friend
could help you with?

There is one thing.

YES?!

I think I've left my measuring tape
under the fabric over there.

Could you get that for me?

Measuring tape. Sure.

Twilight. Is there something bother...

Twilight.

No need to panic.
Rarity is just one pony.

I'm sure one of my other
friends will need me.

What in the world...

Rainbow must be angry with Applejack!

She must hate her guts. Oh, wonderful!

Rainbow Dash! Stop!

Listen, Rainbow. I know you're upset
with Applejack, but don't worry.

Whatever it is that has
come between you two...

...I'm sure that I as a good friend
can help you resolve your problems.

Uh, what are you talking about?

Oh, Rainbow Dash.

You don't have to hide
your feelings from me.

I can tell you two must
have had a terrible fight.

Now, why don't you tell me all
about your issues with Applejack?

I don't have any issues with Applejack.

You don't? Then why are you
destroying her property?

Because she asked me to.

Right, Applejack?

Yes, ma'am.

I wanted to put up a new barn, but
this one's gotta come down first.

Now get back to it, RD.

You got it, boss!

I'd take cover if I were you.

I can't believe I've
wasted all that time.

I should have just come here first.

Fluttershy always has some fear
she's trying to get over.

As a good friend
I'll be able to help her.

Fluttershy?!

How can this be happening?!

Of all the days she had to stop being such
a scaredy-pony she had to pick today?!

What am I going to do?

You really should have
come to me sooner.

You were carrying so much
tension in that shoulder.

It's fine. It'll all be fine.
Today isn't over yet.

But it will be over soon!

It'll be all over! My time in Ponyville,
my advanced studies...

No, no. You're a good student.
You can do this.

Oh! But what if I can't?

You can! You just
have to keep it together.

Keep! It! Together!

Are you talking to... yourself?

Twilight?

SNAP OUT OF IT!

Huh?

Are you okay?

Twilight, I'm really worried.

I mean this letter thing
is really getting to you.

Here.

You've been so anxious all day that
you've completely forgot about the picnic.

Why don't you just relax
and go hang out with...

The picnic!

I should go see my friends!

I'm glad you've come to your senses.

Please tell me I did not forget the plates.

I did! I totally forgot them!

Of all the worst things
that could happen, this is...

The! Worst! Possible! Thing!

Why, why, why!

What?

You didn't expect me to
lay on the grass, did you?

You all right, hun?

NO!

I am not all right.

It's just terrible.

Yes?

Simply awful.

Yes?

It's the most terrific trouble
I've ever been in...

...and I really, really,
really need your help!

YES?

My letter to Princess Celestia
is almost overdue.

And I haven't learned
anything about friendship!

Oh, thank goodness. I thought
something really awful had happened.

Something awful HAS happened!

If I don't turn in the letter
on time, I'll be tardy!

TAAARDY!

No offense, sugar cube...

...but it looks like somepony's gettin'
themselves all worked up over nothin'.

This is not nothing.
This is everything!

I need you guys to help me find somepony
with a problem I can fix before sundown.


MY WHOLE LIFE DEPENDS ON IT!

Oh, Twilight. You're such a crackup.

Come on, now.

Have a seat and stop
sweatin' small stuff.

Wow. I've never seen
Twilight so upset before.

Ugh, what a drama queen.

Relatively speaking.

Clock is ticking, Twilight.

Clock... is... ticking!

Keep it together.

If I can't find a friendship problem...

...I'll *make* a friendship problem!

Hai, gurls!

Oh. Hi, Twilight. How's it goi..

Guh-reat! Just great!

You three look like
you're doing great too!

Looks like three good
friends who obviously...

...don't need the help
of another good friend!

This is Smarty Pants.

She was mine when I was your age.

And now I want to give her to you!

Uh... She's... great!

Yeah... Great.

I really like her... mane?

She even comes with
her own notebook and quill.

For when you want to pretend
she's doing her homework.

That's, um... great.

Yeah... Great.

I really like her... mane?

I just hope the fact that
there are three of you...

...and only one of her
doesn't become a problem.

I'd hate to cause a rift
between such good friends!

So who wants to play with her first?

Uh... You should play
with her first, Sweetie Belle.

You know, cause you
like her mane so much.

Nononononono.

I think Scootaloo should
get to play with her first.

I'd love to, but, um...
You take her, Apple Bloom.

Applejack says it's important to share.

I got to think of something.
Thinkthinkthink, Twilight, think!

That's it!

Ooh, you're going to like Smarty Pants.

And you're going to like her
more than anything.

I want it.

I need it.

I really like her mane!

The "want it, need it" spell.
Works every time.

Okay, okay. Let's break it up.

I think you can all see that
there is an important lesson...

...to be learned here about...

Come on, girls. We're all friends here, right?

Don't you think you have to share?

No way!

Big McIntosh! Thank goodness!

You gotta help me get that
doll away from those girls.

Eeyup.

Thank you so much. Now if
you could just give her to me...

Nnnope.

Oh no!

What's all the commotion about?

They're fighting over that doll!

That incredible, amazing doll!

Can't get a clear sh*t...

Give me!

Nnnope.

Oh, what have I done?!

Y'all hear that?

What in the name of all things
oats 'n apples is goin' on here?

-DON'T LOOK AT IT!
-Don't look at what?

My Smarty Pants doll.

I enchanted her and now
everypony is fighting over her.

Why would you enchant your doll?

Oh, I had to do something!

I had nothing to report to Princess Celestia.

I thought if I couldn't find
a problem, I'd make a problem.

The day is almost over!

Not almost.

Twilight Sparkle!

Whoa, Nelly.

Meet me in the library.

Goodbye, girls. If you care to visit...

...I'll be in magic kindergarten
back in Canterlot.

-Magic kindergarten?
-Canterlot?

We're never gonna see Twilight again!

What are we gonna do, y'all?

Of all the worst things
that could happen...

...this is the! Worst! Possible! Thing!

What? I really mean it this time.

But... But... I'm supposed to send you
a letter about friendship every week.

I missed the deadline.

I'm a bad student. I'm tardy!

You are a wonderful student, Twilight.

I don't have to get a letter
every week to know that.

Really?

WAIT!

You can't punish her!

It wasn't her fault!

I'm listening.

Please, your highness.
We all saw that Twilight was upset.

But we thought that the thing
she was worrying about...

...wasn't worth worrying about.

So when she ran out all worked up...

...not a single one of us
tried to stop her.

As Twilight's good friends,
we should have taken...

...her feelings seriously
and been there for her.

Please don't take her away from us...

...just because we were
too insensitive to help her.

Looks like you all learned
a pretty valuable lesson today.

Very well. I'll forget Twilight's
punishment on one condition.

From this day forth
I would like you all...

...to report to me your findings
on the magic of friendship.

When and only when you happen to discover them.

Princess Celestia! Wait!

How did you know I was in trouble?

Your friend Spike made me aware...

...that you were letting
your fears get the best of you.

I commend him for taking
your feelings seriously.

Now, if you will all excuse me,
I must return to Canterlot.

I'm expecting some mail.

Y'all heard the princess.
Spike, take a letter.

"Dear Princess Celestia.
We're writin' to you..."

"...because today we all learned
a little somethin' about friendship."

"We learned that you should take
your friends' worries seriously."

"Even if you don't think that
she has anything to worry about."

"And that you shouldn't let
your worries turn a small problem..."

"...into an enormously huge
entire-town-in-total-chaos..."

"...Princess-has-to-come-
-and-save-the-day problem."

"Signed, your loyal subjects."

"PS. Obviously Spike did not
have to learn a lesson..."

"...because he is the best, most
awesome friend a pony could ask for."

"Unlike everypony else,
he took things seriously. And..."

Uh... Yeah.

I'll just, um...
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