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03x03 - Episode 3

Posted: 11/14/21 07:24
by bunniefuu
Tell me this isn't happening.

You've taken my dream
and turned it into a nightmare!

The darkened area,
that's the cancer you can feel.

SAM: I've slept with him too.

(LAUGHS)

ELLIOT: Come and work with me.
Fulfill your potential.

GINA: Mason Elliot
needs taking down a peg or two.

(ALARM BLARING)

You have to talk to Mum and Sam.

I will do no such thing.

The first time you fall in love,
you fall the hardest.

We're gonna be grandmothers.

I'd like to know how long I've got left.

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION,
SEABIRDS CRYING)

LEO: Like food and sex,

Sicilians take their gambling
very seriously.

- (SHOUTS IN ITALIAN)
- (LAUGHS)

(BOTH SHOUTING IN ITALIAN)

But all of life's a gamble.

For most of its life,
the octopus hides in its den.

But it's got to eat.

Fishermen use coins
in the bottom of their traps.

They say it brings luck.

But you only need to be unlucky once.

Just ask the octopus.

(SQUAWKS)

(BOTH LAUGHING)

(CELLPHONE VIBRATES)

MARC: What is it?

Well, the good news is my son's
not dead on a mountain pass.

The bad news is he may be
a complete and utter shit.

He's not the first bloke to be
freaked out over becoming a dad.

How did I mess him up so badly?

I think you're missing the big win here.

Which is?

You've kept yourself
remarkably fit for a granny.

(GASPS)

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Women my age are meant to be
having their own babies,

not grandbabies.

Is that what you want? Another child?

God, no.

Why? Is that what you want?

Sure.

I mean, I always wanted to be
a dad one day.

I missed having a mum
when I became a mother.

- But you'd have me.
- You'd have us.

Of course, it's completely
your decision.

Is it? That's nice.

Because you've got
your whole life ahead of you,

to work out who you want to be,
what you want to do.

Yeah, we just want you to know

that we support you whatever you decide.

So you keep saying,
and yet you don't support

my decision to not talk about it.

Listen, we can talk about
lots of other things.

Or nothing.

You have to forgive your mother.

She can't help getting carried away.

Yeah, like you haven't thought about

squeezing those chubby little thighs.

- Their fat little hands.
- Yeah, or the cheeks.

Oh, the cheeks. (GASPS)

(STAMMERS)

Ah.

Oh! Don't worry about
being so late, dear.

There's nothing I enjoy more

than watching my life ebb slowly away

with nothing but tedium for company.

When are you gonna tell them?

I came clean. Now it's your turn.

Yes. You told them you were pregnant.

How are you enjoying
the fussing and the clucking

and the interminable bowls of pasta?

What is it with this family?
All we do is lie.

I haven't lied.

Not telling the truth
is the same as lying.

I thought I could count on you
not to argue semantics.

Miss Gina Benelli?

Yes?

The nerve of that.

He steals Adam and thinks
he can buy your affection

with this shrub.

Oh, I think it's an olive tree.

Nobody asked you.
Thank you, Mr. Horticulture.

- Let's go and eat.
- Oh, where are we going?

To show Mason Elliot
that we will not be intimidated.

So how are we playing this?

You cause a distraction

whilst I come at him
swinging a sock full of coins?

Follow my lead.

Ladies.

And to what do I owe
this unexpected pleasure?

We were thinking a ménage à trois.

If you think you can handle it.

- Really?
- Of course not.

I'd rather have my brains

ripped out of my nostrils
with a meat hook.

We've come to see
how your new chef is faring.

And, uh, when I turn my back,
will I find you

calling in a b*mb threat
or throwing eggs at my windows?

We're flattered you think
we're so imaginative,

but really we've come for the food.

I think you'll be impressed.

We're going to drink our drinks,
eat this food,

and show that none of this
bothers us, not one bit.

Wow, Sam.

You'll really have him over a barrel.

The best revenge is living well.

Don't talk to a Sicilian about revenge.

So, what, we should commit a m*rder?

Well, maybe not an actual m*rder,

but what's wrong
with a small "accidental" fire?

Gina and Sam are in.

You are better than
they ever let you believe.

You have nothing to prove.

- God, this is terrible.
- I know.

They're possibly
the most delicious thing

I've ever tasted.

Yeah.

What did I tell you?

Stunning, right?

He overdid the reduction.

(BURPS)

Did you just...?

I didn't even know
you were capable of burping.

(BURPS)

These mussels aren't
from around here, are they?

Mangan's.
They're the best local supplier.

SAM: But only this morning
they announced

a sewage contamination
at Fulcombe Beach.

(CHUCKLING)

She's joking, right?

You've met Sam.

Does she strike you
as a natural prankster?

But a full-blown contamination...

Is unlikely.

Couldn't happen three times
in a year, could it?

Excuse me, I'm just...
I'm not % satisfied

these are fragrant as they should be.

Smells fine to me.

Well, who wants fine
when you can have exceptional?

Rhiannon.

Smile, stay calm, and get
the mussels off the tables.

- Why?
- Keep smiling.

There's nothing to see here.
Just a slight...

...sewage issue.

We've just served over bowls.

Mason!

(CLEARS THROAT) Excuse me.

With the main course you've ordered,

I think the gazpacho

Apologies. I'm just gonna take this.

Put them down.

I'll just get some more menus for you.

- Put it back!
- But they're full of sewage.

(PEOPLE GASPING)

ELLIOT: There's nothing
to worry about, folks.

Just a slight menu change.

How about a glass of champagne
on the house?

No. Come back.

Mmm!

Sicilian enough for you?

Why are you here?

Oh, don't tell me
they've shut you down already.

Health and safety?

Adam is family.

Mimi, what is it?

Right.

I've never been one to sugarcoat.

I have a malignant tumor
in my left breast.

The doctor recommends surgery
and a course of chemotherapy,

but that doesn't suit me at all.

So I'm letting the tumor
do what it will,

but I would like to have a funeral

while I'm still alive enough
to enjoy it.

What do you mean?
Like a... Like a death party?

Oh, no. I prefer the term "fake wake."

Well, I mean, what is the point
of everyone saying I'm wonderful

if I'm not around
to bask in their admiration?

No more lies.

Happy now?

When she doesn't sugarcoat,
she really doesn't sugarcoat.

You knew?

I asked you if she was okay,
and you said...

It wasn't my secret to tell.

Ohh, it's the intervention.

You didn't expect us to just accept

your death sentence, did you?

Well, if you mean did I expect
my family to respect my wishes,

no, of course not.

SAM: It's completely understandable

that you'd rather bury your head
in the sand than face this.

It's scary. We're all scared.

But you're not alone.

You're not gonna
talk about God, are you?

We've been researching what to do

to combat the side effects of chemo.

And there's some
really promising research

that by increasing your
consumption of antioxidants...

Oh, Sam, dear,
and Teresa, my love, I'm old.

I'm not gonna spend
whatever time I have left

bald and vomiting,

subsisting on a diet of wild
blueberries and manuka honey.

But if it means you live...

Think of life as a party
that you want to leave

before some drunken boor leers at you

and explains that he and his
wife have a special arrangement.

I want to leave this party
dancing on the tables.

Now, if you don't mind,

I have some things to attend to,

and my timeline is somewhat pressed.

♪ If you'll only give me time ♪

♪ All the heartache that he left... ♪

I used to pretend
there was a secret microfilm

stashed inside those birds.

You're a natural storyteller.

You could hold a room
spinning pure bollocks.

(CHUCKLES)

If I hadn't been so proud,

I might've been a better mother
and warned you

that people get hurt that way.

I did learn that lesson.

A little late, perhaps.

Did I disappoint you?

You've been a liar...

...a serial cheat,

and the arrogant, self-centered
bastard that everybody says.

But I absolutely adored you.

It's a mother's prerogative.

You know they need you.

I'm tired of being so needed.

You're the first person I ever loved.

I don't know this world
without you in it.

TERESA: Do I score the jewels?

♪ As long as I live ♪

Uh...

Uh, n-no, no.

You have these and my record collection.

I'd rather have you.

Strange how it goes, isn't it?

You're contemplating bringing
a life into this world, and...

and I'm preparing to take one out.

Part of me thinks
I could actually do it.

Be a mum.

Love someone so completely that...

But maybe I'm too selfish.

The question isn't,
"Will I be a good mother?"

Because I can answer that right now...

sometimes yes, sometimes no.

So, what is the question?

Do you want this child in your life?

♪ I'll be yours for as long as I... ♪

- Morning.
- Morning.

SAM: The trick is to delay payment

for as long as you think
they'll tolerate it

before setting
the debt collectors on you.

And when the creditors
turn up at our door

baying for blood, what do we do then?

Smile and lie through your teeth.

When it comes to lying,
I've been trained by none other

than the grand high master herself.

Cut your mum some slack.

It doesn't matter how hard
a mother tries,

whatever you do, it's wrong.

You don't really believe that, do you?

I never really knew
how to do any of it...

being a mum, a wife.

I just kept pretending I did

and hoping one day I wouldn't
feel like such an imposter.

That's not true.

Really, I wish I could be more like you.

Confident, capable,
none of the Benelli crazy.

Now, I did tell you
light on the tarragon.

So you need to bin this and start again.

- Gina, about our bookings...
- Right, everybody, listen up.

Nine minutes to service.

I want everything on
this new menu to be on point.

- Yes, Chef.
- Yes, Chef.

Gina, please stop. Listen...

No, actually,
it's you who needs to listen.

Just to clarify, I run the
kitchen, you run front of house,

and Teresa is my daughter.

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about you being
one of those penguin mothers

who comes back from the ocean

only to find her own chick missing,

so decides to steal someone else's.

You're being completely irrational.

Did she tell you what she's
planning to do with the baby?

If she had confided in me,

I wouldn't betray her confidence.

Gina, wait. You're not listening.

Gina!

Where is everyone?

That's what I've been trying
to tell you.

I hate crowds.

So I had every table booked.

Under different names, of course.

- This is your fault.
- Mine?

You goaded me into that
stupid performance at Mason's,

and now it's cost us a night's business.

Congratulations!

Where are you going?

I'm clear that I run front of house.

An empty house
means I'm done for the night.

You two cleared my restaurant
and wreaked havoc.

- I just cleared your restaurant.
- Get out.

Oh, come on, Gina.
You ruin my day, I ruin yours.

This isn't a game!

Since when?

This is my life. I'm not playing!

I thought you liked this.

Well, not anymore. So get out.

Get out!

(WATER RUNS)

MARC: Oh.

Oh, f*ck!

Oh. (CHUCKLES)

Sorry, Sammy,

I mean, it would be easier

if I could borrow a drawer,
hang up a couple of shirts.

Um, sorry. I didn't mean to look so...

Like I just asked
for one of your organs?

It's just we've only been
seeing each other

for a couple of weeks,
and this all feels so...

Whoa, whoa. It's just one small drawer.

Two hangers. Three if you're
feeling generous.

I'm not gonna push my luck.

Look, maybe me being here
is a bit too, um...

- I didn't say that.
- No, but it is "too..."

Look, it's fine.

I'll move out, you deal with your life,

and we can pick this up when you can.

I don't want you to go.

Here.

Wow. Two whole hangers.

Nobody's gonna mistake that
for a marriage proposal.

Why are you watching me sleep,
you psycho?

(CHUCKLES)

This was yours.

So small.

You know, if you have this baby,

it'll be the hardest thing you ever do,

and the job never stops.

Ever.

But your heart sings
every time they smile.

And it breaks when they're hurt.

I don't know if it's fair
to make me anyone's mum.

You just know they're
gonna be a little weirdo

with frequently recurring head lice.

Hey, don't do that...
put yourself down with jokes.

I'm only just starting to realize

that there's nothing that you can't do.

- Mum?
- Mm?

It's not Michael's baby.

What do you mean?

Well, who's the father, then?

Mum, don't.

Okay, okay, okay. You can tell me later.

It's fine, it's fine.

Sam's gonna hate me.

It'll destroy everything.

Well, we don't have to tell her?

She will find out.
We can't keep it a secret.

Look, you are doing better than ever.

And I'm not letting anything,

not even the truth, undermine that.

Where's my pumpkin
and amaretto sauce, Teresa?

- TERESA: Yeah, nearly there.
- Give those a good shake.

Something's burning.

MARC: It's not me.

Sam, something's burning.

Oh, shit.

Shit.

Shit, shit, shit! It's the pork!

- Shit!
- MARC: Whoa, whoa!

Okay, don't panic! I've got this!

No, Marc, no!

Oh. Sorry, I...

SAM: You idiot!

Maybe that's why it's best
to be a corpse at your own wake.

You can't be disappointed
by the catering.

Hitch up your horses.

Or bridle them, or whatever
it is you do to horses.

We need a cavalry. Fast.

- SAM: Gina.
- Hmm?

- You called Adam?
- Mum, please.

ELLIOT: I know
you'd rather remove my spleen

with a blunt butter knife,
but I beg you, listen.

Shouldn't you be serving up
poncey sea foam

in your own restaurant?

Rhiannon has that in hand.

I-I know you don't need anyone,
but for once, let me help you.

MIMI: Oh, thank goodness you're here!

It's like we're marching
into the Battle of the Somme

but instead of g*ns,
we've got soggy runner beans.

Teresa, could you just find me
that blunt butter knife?

- Gina, we need the help.
- Over my dead body.

Gina, it's not every day I get
to cater my grandmother's wake.

So please, let me be part of this.

Okay.

Come on.

When's the last time you cheffed
in a commercial kitchen?

If you chop off your finger,
I'll shove it up your arse.

And not in a lovely way.

Oh, darling!

Fossil, how good of you to come!

You decrepit hag, you look glorious!

It's bloody unfair.

It's been a lifetime.

Several!

Oh, Lillian, this is Janice,
who's my doctor,

whose medical advice I'm ignoring.

You're not dead yet.
With surgery and chemo...

Oh, look, no shop at parties.
It's very boring.

I'll leave you.

You're so brave, Mimi.

If I'd been given a cancer diagnosis,

I wouldn't be throwing a party.

I'd be under a duvet regretting
everything I've ever done

or didn't do.

Do you want the truth?
I'm absolutely terrified.

It's not too late to give cancer
a good kick in the bum.

It's not too late for you either.

Gertrude's here.

Oh, look!

(APPLAUSE)

It's beautiful.

Can I be honest?


I have no idea, Mason. Can you?

The only thing Adam
really wants is your approval.

So give him your blessing.

- Please.
- If you'll excuse me.

For the avoidance of all doubt,
I think you're a pig.

A conniving, lying vulture,
and I will never forgive you.

Okay.

Very little ambiguity there.

But this means a lot to Mimi.

So thank you for helping
to make this happen.

You're welcome.

You know, Gina may bring the punters in,

but you're the one
who keeps the sky from falling.

I always blamed other people
for why I underachieved.

Leo's ambitions were more important.

Then Michael needed me.

Truth is,
I let everyone else come first.

Here.

To being brave enough to let
no one stand in your way.

Never again.

You sound very focused.

I am.

For the first time ever, actually.

Oh. Hope I'm not distracting you.

I never said that.

What's going on with us, Sammy?

- What are you talking about?
- No, no, we're not doing that.

We're not gonna pretend

you don't know what I'm talking about.

(SIGHS)

Maybe we should just be friends.

- Then when I can do more...
- No.

- I beg your pardon?
- I've got a lot of friends.

You're either in this or you're not.

You waltzed into my life
like a minute ago.

Leo's only been dead for two years.

You can't put your life on hold

until things are more convenient.

Life is taking risks.

You have to take a punt.

Okay, then, maybe I don't want to.

Not again. Not now.

I'm sorry. You're right.

You should go home.

I just cannot figure you out.

You're actively working to destroy me...

That's the pot calling the kettle black.

...and then you go and save the day.

Not that I needed any saving.

It's like you're villain, hero.

How do you decide which role to play?

Is it Russian roulette?

Adam told me he'd quit
if I didn't let him help you.

Though I didn't need much convincing.

He told me what your family's
been going through.

I had no idea, Gina.

Well, it's not really your...

You should've told me.

I'd have never pulled that stunt
with the bookings.

I lost my wife to cancer.

I know what it's like
to lose someone you love.

Oh, I didn't know that. I'm sorry.

There's a lot we still
don't know about each other.

Ah.

Adam.

Thank you.

You're a selfish, entitled upstart.

But you are very talented.

You're right, I am.

But I learned from the best.

(CHUCKLES)

Mmm! Mm.

Please look after our guests.

MIMI: Sam!

Champagne should be savored.

It's hard liquor that you slam.

Ah, give me two sh*ts
of my usual, please.

Oh, God, Mimi, no, I...

There.

That's actually remarkably good.

Why do we even bother with tonic?

Oh, I rarely do, dear.

So those tumblers that I see
you with, they're all just gin?

Occasionally there's a squeeze of lime.

I'm not an animal!

Um...

Oh, Mimi, no.

No, I couldn't possibly...

It would make me tremendously happy

to see these around
the neck of my daughter.

Were you considering a swim?

More like a drowning.

Oh, dear.

It's that bad, is it?

Um, sorry, who are you?

The woman saving you from self-pity.

Look, I don't mean to be rude,
but I kind of want to be alone.

No, you don't.

No one really wants to be alone.

That's a bit presumptuous.

Mm. I'm not wrong, though, am I?

Oh! You're nearly out of whiskey.

GERTRUDE: How's Peter?

Increasingly r*cist,
so my daughters tell me.

Oh, we're divorced. Almost years ago.

And you? Married, or...

I never married.

- I'm sorry.
- Well, don't be.

Falling in love is luck, I suppose,

and I've been lucky in other ways.

My health.

Travel and...

Old friends.

Truth is, I've never
been happier than I am now.

Blessing of age.

I just don't care what
people think the way I used to.

You were always a rebel.

I wish that were true.

Things are so different, aren't they?

Do you ever wonder

what our lives would be like
if we were young now?

- We could...
- It's, um...

It's a million years ago.

Water under the bridge surely.

Here.

It belonged to your grandfather.

Thank you.

(EXHALES SLOWLY)

When you lose someone,

you never stop feeling their absence.

Ever.

You just have to go on
with so much less than you had.

Um...

I've never been very good
at the whole "friends" thing.

Um, but with Mimi, it's easy.

And because she is so incredible...

...the fact that she loves me

makes me like myself more.

So Mimi was aiming her shotgun
at this bloke,

and he was yelling loudly

that this was a load of fuss
over a stupid fox,

and that she wasn't
going to sh**t at him.

And then she pulled the trigger.

(PEOPLE GASP)

And cool as a cucumber, she said,

"Next time, I won't miss."

(LAUGHTER)

I know a lot of strong women.

Bit of a family hazard.

But you're the most formidable.

And from the moment you welcomed me...

...I knew I was home.

SAM: I've never been close
to my own mother,

and I was always jealous
of other girls who were.

It only just occurred to me,
that for so many years,

I've been the one that
other people are jealous of.

Because I have had that.

Because you are my mum.

Oh!

Oh, so many people here
that I haven't seen for years.

Ohh.

My goodness, you got old.

(LAUGHTER)

But we're still here.

And you can't get to my age
without losing people.

Friends and my husband and...

...my son.

Some people you love so much

that even if they died at years old

it would be too soon, but...

...the compensation is that,

in some ways,

I can feel them still with me

in all of you.

My whole life is in this garden.

And as lives go,
it's been pretty wonderful.

(VOICE BREAKING) I am so very grateful.

To Mimi.

- To Mimi.
- To Mimi.

To Mimi.

(GLASSES CLINKING)

(APPLAUSE)

Oh!

Ho ho!

What a week.

Yeah.

Like being continually smacked
in the face by an octopus.

That's a grotesque image,

but actually that's exactly
how it feels.

Where's Marc?

That's another tentacle
right between the eyes.

I just broke up with him.

Why?

He wants more than sex and dinner.

He wants everything. All of it.

But you really like him, Sam.

You practically light up like a
Christmas tree when he's around.

Don't lose him.

Good men pochissimi... very, very few.

A good gambler knows
when to bid and when to fold.

A really good gambler
doesn't read his cards

but the other players around the table.

Sometimes in life you just
need to show your hand.

I like you.

I really like you.

This sex and rivalry thing, it's fun,

but it has a shelf life.

I want more.

Well, what more could...

I don't need an answer now.

Well, you haven't asked a question.

I'm a difficult man, I know.

Uncompromising, obsessive, selfish.

Maybe don't lead with that
in your dating profile.

But with you...

With you...

...I want to better myself.

Okay?

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

I lied when I said it's in the past

It's not.

I think about you all the time.

I thought that staying with
Peter was the right thing to do.

But the truth is, I was a coward.

What would everyone say?

My children.

My mother.

And we've wasted over years.

I do enjoy a good party.

Any excuse for copious drinking.

In fact...

...I enjoyed it so much...

...that I'm not sure
I want it to be my last.

(GASPING)

Oh, thank God!

Oh, I'm so happy!

Oh, I'm delighted that
I've raised your spirits, Sam,

but as I'm really going to try and live,

I don't think you should
k*ll me with love.

(LAUGHS)

Oh!

I'll be needing these a while yet.

Turn 'round.

(LAUGHS)

The biggest gamble of all
is telling the truth.

There's nowhere to hide with the truth.

That's why they call it naked.

- Champagne?
- Yes!

Why not?

Preferring an easy lie

to the cold, hard glare of truth,

that's just human nature.

Sam, I have to tell...

GINA: No, Teresa, don't. She's happy.

It's just Teresa's worried
that, oh, having one too many...

especially you.

What? Since when?

I'm not the one who's pregnant.

No, but you are one glass away
from telling me that you love me

and suggesting karaoke.

Nobody wants to watch you

murdering "Livin' on a Prayer" again.

(LAUGHING)

Even when you know you'll be found out,

if you can buy yourself
an hour, a week, a year,

you'll lie your arse off.

But the truth is always there,
just waiting...

...to take you down.

Well, you clearly all think
I'm about to die.

Otherwise, why the last supper?

You think this is a relationship?

Well, isn't it?

I always hoped I'd die in my own bed,

not in some damned establishment.

- It isn't Michael's.
- Has Gina known all along?

f*cking Benellis.

I want out of the Penrose,
away from here altogether.

Teresa's just called.
They think Mimi's had a stroke.

(UP-TEMPO ROCK MUSIC PLAYS)

(WOMAN VOCALIZING)