Transcripts - Forever Dreaming

BAILEY: My mom used to tell me

never to judge people until you know their story.

Yeah. I can do that.

♪ Just talk to me now ♪

♪ I'll help with those demons you carry ♪

You might think you understand,

but you don't.

♪ I don't know if they go ♪

That's why, as a patient,

it's important to have an advocate.

♪ But we'll be happy someday, too ♪

[CELLPHONE RINGS]

Perfect timing.

I just finished my last tele-health patient.

Oh, I just woke up.

Aw. How'd you sleep?

Would have slept better if you were laying next to me.

Someone to tell your story, to be your voice... [SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]

...to say your name.

Especially when you don't have the voice yourself.

The great divide

Her oxygen requirements have come down this much?

Ah. Cytokine storm's leveling off, too.

I mean, look at her CRP, ferritin.

That is great.

Oh, I ordered a repeat chest X-ray to see if the infiltrates are decreasing, too.

You talk to her? She feel any better?

Just long enough to tell her that we got her into the drug trial.
But she's pretty exhausted.

Well, it's probably the side effects.

And she can sleep all day if these numbers keep improving.

Keep me posted.

♪ That you are not alone ♪

Jo? Good morning.

It's time to get up.

♪ Afloat ♪

♪ It's a brand-new day ♪

♪ The sun is out to play ♪

God, will you shut up? I'm awake.

Oh, okay. Are you going to work?

Yes.

At the regular time or...?

[SIGHS]

Everything okay?

Oh, yeah, everything's great.

I barely get to operate anymore, and when I do, they don't even recover enough to go home.

Oh, and how could I forget the refrigerator truck full of dead bodies that I get to pass on the way from the parking lot to the hospital?

The only reason I'm still in bed is that I am paralyzed with excitement.

♪

- So you're going?
- Why do you care?

My bike has a flat tire, and you're my ride.

[SIGHS]

WILLIAM: She said the salad I made was too small.

So I go back and make her a bigger one.

She says I must hate her because it's too big.

- BAILEY: Mm.
- I just can't win.

No, she appreciates you, Dad.

It's not her. It's the dementia.

Knowing that doesn't make it hurt any less.

We're gonna get through this.

We? I only see you on the phone.

And you can't even bother to hold the thing still.

I have a hospital to run.

And I didn't know there'd be a pandemic.

Ben's sister gets to stay with you.

To... With the boys.

Who I don't see either.

Ben's staying at the station, and half the time, I'm too tired to make it to my hotel.

I promise Silver Villas is more comfortable than my office.

I just hate this. I hate all of it.

It's not fair.

Well, COVID's not big on fair.

Listen, I have to go.

I love you.

Don't go outside, Dad, okay?
It's not safe.

Tell your mom that. She's the one always trying to leave.

- [SIGHS]
- [SMOOCHES] I love you, too.

[SMOOCHES]

WOMAN: [OVER P.A.]
Dr. Wakeman to Neurology.

Dr. Wakeman to Neurology.

[SIGHS]

RICHARD: Ah. Good morning, Avery.

JACKSON: Not really.

You know how many trachs I've had to do this week on long-term vent patients 'cause of COVID?

No, but I have a feeling you're gonna tell me.

, Richard.

Gonna be in about an hour, and this number's gonna keep on going up, which is why I need you to help me with this.

Oh, when did your mother go to San Francisco?

What? No, no. That's a... That's a fake video background for when she talks to Harriet. That's not the point. Look.

You want her to change the background?

I want you to get your wife to wear a damn mask, okay?

She's in a germ-collecting car with her driver with no mask.

She wears masks.

On her chin, okay, or dangling from her ear like a weird piece of jewelry.

She is living with cancer.
She is immunocompromised.

I got to get to surgery.

Just get her to wear the stupid mask correctly, please.

Well, you know what it's like to get your mother to do something!

Yeah, that's why I'm calling for reinforcements.

REZA: Val Ashton, status post right hepatectomy with segments through due to bleeding from hepatic pregnancy.

Her drains were pulled two days ago, but this morning she's tachy to , her BP has decreased, and transaminases and bili are both trending upwards.

VAL: She's kind, giving, successful, enjoys a raunchy romance novel.

Without shame. [CHUCKLES]

I need compliments, too, guys.

JO: I'm glad that you're in good spirits, Val, but, um, your labs are concerning.

I'm ordering a CT.

I carried a baby in my liver.

Can't you make an exception for moms and babies who defy odds?

I-I'm sick of video chats.

Luna's gonna think her mom's a pixelated blob.

LEVI: Technically, that's what you'd look like even in person.

Babies can only see about six inches in front -

JO: Schmitt! Not the point.

Val, I know that it's not what you wanted to hear, but Luna's on a vent, and moving her is very precarious.

Plus, we... we need to make sure that you're taken care of before you meet her.

For Luna's sake and for yours.

Okay?

♪

[SIREN WAILING]

Do we know if he's okay?

Not sure. This is him.

KORACICK: You're not listening...

I have to be at home.
I don't want to miss it...

Oh, my God.

PARAMEDIC: Okay, we have a COVID-positive male, heart rate , BP over .

Pulse ox of on %, high flow.

He's incoherent and disoriented.

TARYN: I just saw him two days ago. He was fine.

Is this a stroke?

Could be. Or encephalitis brought on by COVID.

KORACICK: I have tickets to Opening Day, and David's dying to catch a fly ball.

- TARYN: Who's David?
- His son.

Let's get him to a COVID room now.

Hang on. He's seizing.

Let's get him on his side.

- Ready? , , .
- [KORACICK GASPING]


TEDDY: No signs of head trauma, but, Helm, call up to CT, let them know we'll be up as soon as possible.

OWEN: We'll do it. Helm, out.

TARYN: But I've already had COVID -

Doesn't matter. You're a resident, and he's positive. Out. Now.

Get off me. Stay back.

Tom. Tom, it's me.
It's Teddy. Try to stay calm.

I... Don't... Don't touch me.

Take it easy. We're just trying to take care of you.

- Push two of Ativan.
- No, I don't... I don't know you.

- I don't know you!
- He's post-ictal.

No, I don't... I don't know you.

Just wait a minute, and the meds will kick in.

[GRUNTING SOFTLY]

[SIGHS] Teddy, I got this, okay?

Please, call up to CT.

♪

Okay.

VAL: Hey, Angel.

I'd be there with you, but the mean doctors say no.

Can you say "mean"?

Can you hold the phone close enough for me to smell her head?

REZA: How about I bring you one of her blankets?

Ah! I will literally marry you.

JO: Val.

Crap. That is your bad-news face.

Your CT showed that you have an abscess that's eroding into an artery in your liver, causing what's called a pseudoaneurysm.

Okay.

LEVI: It's a weakening of the blood vessel, which is causing it to leak.

We need to take you to surgery right away to repair it.

I am so sorry that it's not better news.

[CELLPHONE CLATTERS]

Leave.

[MONITOR BEEPING]

VAL: Eight years.

I've wanted to be a mom for eight years.

I've known my baby's name.

I've known the color I would paint the nursery.

I've known the made-up lullaby I would sing at night.

And now that I finally have the chance... being a mom is just some weird TV show

I'm watching on my phone, and I don't know if it will ever be real.

[CRYING]

Please make it real.

♪

MAGGIE: Have you heard about Koracick?

BAILEY: Yes. He's getting the world's best care, and I'm trying not to think about it.

So, can you wait that long for the converted rooms?

Is sooner an option?

See, even with the lockdown, we are getting slammed.

We got six cases today from assisted-living facilities,

- three from the same one.
- WOMAN: I'll go check.

- Oh, which one?
- Silver Villas in Ballard.

COVID spreads through those places like wildfire.

Where are you going?!

Uh, that's where my parents are.

MAN: Next.

- A rescue mission?
- BAILEY: Yes.

Just stop what you're doing and get to Silver Villas.

To grab your mom and dad?

I've been trying to call the front office, but they're not answering.

Well, where do you want me to take them?

Uh, to my hotel.

Y... Uh, I don't care.
Just get them out.

Yeah, I'm on it. I love you.

[CLICK, SIREN WAILING]

♪

- JO: Okay, lap pads...
- REZA: Here you go.

LEVI: Khan was an attending in Pakistan.

We could probably be assisting him.

Not gonna happen.

No, I know. I just... Making a point.

Suction.

You were a vascular surgeon, right?

REZA: Yes, Dr. Schmitt, one of the first to be certified in my country.

Why would you leave?

Okay, Kelly clamp.

Uh, it wasn't exactly a choice.

I love my home, it shaped me.

Still nice not to worry about religious persecution or bombings.

- So I just started over.
- Clamp.

- Just?
- It's a five-year residency.

If I finished this and had to start over...

Ugh. Pass. Can you imagine?

Can you imagine paying more attention to the field so the patient doesn't die?

Damn it. Her tissue's so friable it's just disintegrating into my hands.

- We got to get control of...
- I know what we need to do!

Everyone shift. We're doing a modified pringle maneuver.

Clamp.

♪

MAGGIE: Okay, thank you.

Hey. Your phone has been ringing like crazy.

Oh.

- Oh, wow. Okay.
- [CELLPHONE CHIMING]

Uh, okay. Let's just, uh...

[LINE RINGING]

- BEN: I tried to call you.
- Ben, how did it...

- I picked up your mom, and she's sick.
- Wait, slow down. I ca...

- We're at the hospital.
- Now?!

BEN: Right now.

Mom!

[LABORED BREATHING]

♪

Mom?

Hey, it's me.

I'm here.

- William?
- MAGGIE: Alright, okay.

[GASPING] Where...
Where... Where's William?

Mom, you're in the hospital.

We're gonna take care of you.

He's gonna be here soon, right?

- Okay.
- Yes, yes. He's coming soon.

- Okay?
- Just lay back and relax.

I can't wear this.
I got to get my clothes.

Where my clothes?

Okay. She seems really agitated.

Are there any meds we can give her to calm her?

I can order some meds?

[GRUNTS]

♪ I got sunshine ♪

♪ On a cloudy day ♪

- ♪ When it's cold outside ♪
- ♪ Cold outside ♪

- ♪ I got the month of May ♪
- ♪ I got the month of May ♪

Yeah.

- ♪ I guess you'd say ♪
- ♪ I guess you'd say ♪

- ♪ What can make me feel this way? ♪
- ♪ What can make me feel... way? ♪

- ♪ My girl ♪
- ♪ My girl ♪

♪ My girl ♪

[CHUCKLES] ♪ Talking 'bout ♪

- ♪ My girl ♪
- ♪ My girl ♪

- ♪ My girl ♪
- ♪ My girl ♪

[MONITOR BEEPING]

What do you see, Shepherd?

Uh, I see a lesion on his thalamus, but it's small, so that's something.

Have you been able to talk to him since the seizure?

He was post-ictal, and they gave him lorazepam, so he wasn't really coherent.

Okay. I'm coming in.

Are... Are you sure? I mean, do you want me to call Dr. Mehta?

It's Tom. I'm coming.

Thank you.

Uh, Ellis decided she didn't want her mac and cheese after begging me to make it, so if you're hungry...

- What's going on?
- [SIGHS]

It looks like Tom is having some neuro complications from COVID.

- I thought he was asymptomatic.
- Yeah, so did I.

I just pumped, so there is milk in the fridge for Scout.

Uh, Bailey and Ellis need a nap.

Make sure you check in with Zola about her homework.

If Scout starts to fuss, just try the yoga ball.

What am I forgetting?

- To breathe.
- [SIGHS]

We'll be fine here, okay?

Go. Save your friend.

[SIGHS]

He was my teacher.

And he saved my brain.

And, uh, he was my first sex after Owen, which shouldn't matter, but it kind of saved me, too, so I don't want him to die.

And I don't want to leave Scout, and I'm scared of the pandemic.

You had sex with Koracick?

What?

[DOOR OPENS]

[DOOR CLOSES]

JACKSON: Hey. Oh, um, Mr. Anderson's trach in

- needs to be suctioned, please.
- I'm on it.

Hey, got your page.
Did you hear anything from Mom?

She's just texting me back hearts and "Love you, baby"s like that's gonna shut me up.

- No, I haven't had the time.
- Richard, this is not something that can wait till your schedule frees up, right?

It's my mom. She's gonna give me a damn rage stroke.

Bailey's mother was just admitted, COVID-positive.

It's bad.

Look, can you fill in for her at the board meeting today, take a few of her patients?

We'll all pitch in.

Yeah, of course. Whatever she needs.

♪

JO: We took a lot more of her liver than I was hoping to.

Keep an eye on her liver panel.

The next few hours will be crucial.

LEVI: You think she'll need a transplant?

Knowing her luck, probably.

But if she needs it, we can try liver dialysis first.

Khan, finish the op notes.
Keep an eye on her.

Dr. Wilson, thank you, for allowing me to observe your process.

That was amazing.

She could still need a transplant.

Yes, I understand, but you resected most of her liver, and she's still alive.

I mean, do you know how rare that is?

That... That's unheard of in so many parts of the world.

I know. Op notes. I'm going.

[SIGHS] Was I really amazing, or is he just some weird happy person?

If you impressed him, I think amazing's a safe bet.

Glad you got to operate again.

[DOOR OPENS]

[SIGHS]

BAILEY: Her ferritin is .

is severe in COVID.

Her CRP is .

Creatinine's . .

W-What about her oxygen requirements?

♪ Caught swimming in your new sundress ♪

[SIGHS] She's at % F-I-O .

liters.

She went into A-fib an hour ago.

We pushed dig, but so far, no response.

♪ Keep living like the sun don't set ♪

Her systolic was in the s, but we pushed a fluid bolus and got it back up into the s.

So she's starting to have multi-system organ failure in addition to her cytokine storm.

I'm sorry, Bailey.

♪

There is still more we can do.

We can take her to the ICU, intubate...

She didn't want to be on machines.

Or be kept alive with medication.

♪

I got to call my dad. Um...

♪

I'm here if you need me.

H-How... How do I tell my dad that the love of his life won't make it through the night?

♪

AMELIA: Neuro exam's intact.
No deficits.

He asked for his son.

I think the seizure and delirium are secondary to hypoxemia and inflammation from COVID... Possible early sepsis.

Let's just watch him and, uh, see how he responds to treatment.

Okay. Oh, hey,

Shepherd. Didn't realize you were back.

Welcome to... hell.

Just consulting on Koracick.

Oh, right, 'cause he needs somebody to cover his service.

On him, not... uh, not for him.

Sats dropped, he's got a fever of , and he seized when they brought him in.

[SIGHS] Well, I hate everything.

WOMAN: [Over P.A. I Dr. Cade to the ICU. Emma Cade to the ICU.

I was wondering if you get used to this, but I'm guessing that's my answer.

How's the baby?

Uh, yeah, uh, well, he won't let me sleep, but other than that, um, yeah, I can't wait to get back to him.

Leo and Allison are with Owen's mom.

I'm just... I miss them like crazy, but with both parents treating COVID patients, it just... It doesn't seem safe.

Uh-huh.

So, um, guess you heard what happened.

Yeah. And I have feelings.

But I've also done more hurtful and complicated things in my life than anyone I've met outside an NA meeting, so...

Some of them to Owen.

Owen won't say a word to me that doesn't have to do with the kids, and everyone is ignoring me or treating me like I'm wearing a scarlet letter.

What about Tom?

He's hurt, too.

Well, um, I'll keep checking on him.

And, uh, thank you for getting Mer into the trial.

Oh, yeah, uh, of course.

[SIGHS]

[MONITOR BEEPING]

Hi, Grey.

It's me.

I'm gonna say it.

I miss you.

[SIGHS]

When I was a kid, I had big thoughts.

Big feelings.

And I never knew where to put them.

Physically, they ran through my body like a high-speed train.

And anytime I felt the train coming, my mom could see it.

So she took me around the corner to the park with this strange, twisted tree.

Said it was my tree.

And I could scream at it, hit it, hold it...

And it would make the feelings small enough that they would fit back inside of my own body again.

So I did.

And it worked.

But now I'm an adult, and tree-hitting is...

[CHUCKLING] frowned upon.

I can be your tree.

My mother has Alzheimer's.

I never told you because she's older, and I didn't want to bring up any old pain for your or Richard.

But it would be a lie to say that it hasn't been hard.

Or painful.

Even as a doctor who knows about the disease, I feel like...

I didn't know crap.

...like I don't know anything.

It's difficult to talk about it with someone who hasn't been there, been through it.

♪

No one understands that you are watching your own mother die... twice.

I'm so sorry, Bailey.

[CRYING] I wish you were awake.

♪

REZA: Val's still not awake.
LFTs are up slightly.

JO: Okay. Do another panel in a few hours.

Absolutely, Dr. Wilson.

Okay, has your attitude always been this good?

My mom used to say every day above ground is a good day.

Did she get that from "Scarface"?

- She did. Still, it's true.
- [ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]

- [SIGHS]
- [TELEPHONE RINGS]

[WOMAN SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY OVER P.A.]

NURSE TERRI: You! You're a doctor, right?

- Yeah.
- Great, follow me.

- We're delivering a baby.
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

I'm not an OB, I'm a general surgeon.

I don't care. We have an imminent delivery, and all our OBs are busy.

Hospital rules say we need a doctor.

I haven't delivered a baby...

You heard the "I don't care" part, right?

We'll talk you through it.

- The Elmores.
- Okay.

G P came in fully effaced and dilated at zero station.

Started crowning by the time we got her settled on the bed.

Ms. Elmore? Hi. I know that I'm not who you expected, but I am here... The head is coming now.

Hi. Hi.

Okay. Okay.

[KATHY PANTING]

Alright. Contraction and big push, okay?

Big push.

[GRUNTING]

♪ Told my troubled heart ♪

Okay. Contraction and push.

[SCREAMING]

The head is out. There... No cord around the neck.

See? Just like riding a bike.

Alright, uh...

Pull head down, then up, to deliver the shoulders.

- Okay, it's coming.
- [SCREAMING]

Coming.

Oh, my God. [LAUGHING] Oh, my God.

Ms. Elmore asked that the baby go directly onto her chest

- while still connected.
- [BABY CRYING]

Okay, clamp.

Okay. Oh, my gosh. Okay.

♪ A new light shining down on me ♪

Okay.

♪ A new way, a new road ♪

You ready to cut the cord?

Hi. Okay, right here.

Okay, yeah. In between here.

In between, yeah.

Good. Hi, little one!

♪ Take my hand ♪

- [LAUGHS]
- [BABY CRYING]

♪ The worst is over ♪

♪ Weight is liftin' ♪

♪ Off our shoulders ♪

- ♪ I can see ♪
- ♪ Oh, I can see ♪

- ♪ I can see ♪
- ♪ I can see ♪

- ♪ A new light ♪
- ♪ New light ♪

- ♪ Shining down on me ♪
- ♪ Down on me ♪

♪ A new way, a new road ♪

Just need you to sign the paperwork, and you can go.

Is it alright if I stay?

♪ Oh, oh, to a new kind of beautiful ♪

Okay. Mommy?

Hey, it's me.

Look, Dad's here, too.

Hi, honey. I'm here.

Wait till you see Miranda's hotel.

I mean, there's room service, and the view is so much better than Silver Villas.

You can actually s-see the water.

[WEAKLY] William?

Is that you, William?

Right here by your side, as always.

I love you. I love you so much.

Sweetheart? [CRYING]

Uh, she drifts in and out, Dad.

In her state, even breathing's exhausting.

I can't do this.

I know.

It's difficult.

I should be there.

It's too risky, Dad.

She should be in her own bed, not in some sterile box.

She spent years taking care of me, and now...

She hardly ever got a cold before this.

Just call me when she wakes up.

[LABORED BREATHING]

Of course, Dad.

♪

Okay.

[GASPING INDISTINCTLY]

♪

♪ It's a new kind of beautiful ♪

Mommy.

If you're ready to go, it's okay.

We're gonna be okay.

♪ A new kind of beautiful, oh, oh ♪

[VOICE BREAKING] We love you.

But we don't want you to suffer.

♪ Oh, oh ♪

I'm not r-ready.

If you're tired, I understand.

♪ A new light ♪

I love you.

♪ Shining down on me ♪

Ready to die?

♪ A new way ♪

No.

♪ A new road ♪

I-I want to go home.

♪ Oh, oh ♪

♪ To a new kind of beautiful ♪


BEN: Hey, you've reached Ben Warren. Please leave a message.

- [BEEP]
- Yeah, I... Ben? Um, it's my mom.

I think she was just lucid with me, and she said some things that I don't understand, and now I-I don't know what do, and I need someone to tell me what to do.

Just, uh, call me as soon as you can.

Uh, I love you.

[SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE]

MAGGIE: Hey.

I saw you leave. I wanted to check.

She said she's not ready to go.

For a split second, my heart was filled up with so much joy.

But now I'm just mad.

Mad because no one told me she was sick, mad because she probably has no idea what's happening.

You know, if I'm being totally honest, I don't want her to suffer from this Alzheimer's anymore.

You know, it's a horrific disease, and I want her to be free.

But I don't want COVID to be the reason.

I d... I don't want her to be just another Black woman statistic in this pandemic count.

Yeah, I hear that.

%.

None of this is easy.

All of it is confusing and...

[SIGHS] hard and awful.

But even with Alzheimer's, she's been healthy.

And now I'm watching her struggle to do the most basic of human reflexes... breathing.

And if she's saying she's not ready to go...

I don't know what to think.

I felt so sure that she wouldn't want to live like she's been living, but maybe I'm wrong, yeah?

Maybe she's happy in the world her mind takes her to.

Now I'm questioning every choice I made.

I mean, s-should I be doing more?

Should I move her to the ICU? Intubate her?

Am I just thinking about how I feel instead of what's going on with her... inside of her mind?

- Do you want my opinion?
- Please.

I've been the one who does everything, who fights tooth and nail against death at all costs.

But truthfully, with my mom, it didn't give me more peace of mind in the end.

It might have done the opposite.

I didn't think so at the time, but it was the easier choice.

To fall back on acting like a surgeon and searching for all the answers.

Bailey, you've given your mom so much.

She's gotten to raise you and watch you turn into this incredible surgeon and chief of a hospital.

She watched you fall in love.

- Twice.
- Twice!

[LAUGHS] And raise a family.

Of course you're never going to feel ready to say goodbye, but... she's had an amazing life.

BAILEY: I brought my parents to Seattle kicking and fighting.

I promised them, if they moved here, it was the right thing to do so they could be closer to their only daughter.

I told them I knew best. Just listen to me.

And if they hadn't done that, they would still be at home.

Isolated.

And Mom wouldn't be dying. Not yet.

You don't know that.

She was exposed at the place that I set up for them.

The... The facility let someone move in from New York, a retired surgeon.

He became symptomatic the day after his arrival.

After they said they had shut down to all outsiders, including family.

How in the hell could you have known that was going to happen?

How could you have known any of this was going to happen?

Bailey, you cannot feel guilty about this.

[CHUCKLES]

My mom, she left me five voicemails for my birthday last year.

She kept calling because she forgot that she had already wished me happy birthday.

- There they are.
- ELENA: ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

I never deleted them because I guess I realized that it might be the last time she remembered at all.

[PHONE CLICKS, SINGING STOPS]

She raised me to be a good little girl.

And even when I defied her...

[CHUCKLES] I was never disrespectful.

And I tried to be good at everything.

A good student, a good mother.

Wife, doctor, chief.

And now she just needs me to be a good daughter, and I'm not sure how to do that, even though it's what I've been the longest.

You've chosen palliative care.

You're giving her the best care possible while keeping her as comfortable as possible.

That is good.

And it is kind and respectful and brave.

♪ I'm gonna lay down ♪

I wish I could've given my mom a more dignified death.

♪ Lay down some roots, this rolling stone ♪

But I pushed so hard.

♪ He's gonna lay down ♪

You know, it's her own damn fault, really.

♪ For you ♪

My whole life, she told me to push through.

[CHUCKLES]

Be strong. Fight the good fight.

My mom was kind of the opposite.

Like, overprotective, like, hovering.

There was a reception sponsored by the Daughters of the Revolution.

They had given me a scholarship.

[SNORTS]

So my mom said I should take the scholarship but not go to the reception.

But I didn't want to give them that satisfaction.

No, I wanted them to see what "Miranda Bailey" looked like, right?

So I went with my dad.

[BOTH LAUGH]

We had a good laugh at those very proper ladies.

I think you mean "white" ladies.

- Uh... [LAUGHS]
- Yeah.

Watching them try to hide their horror when they saw who they had given their scholarship to,

- yeah, that was classic.
- [CHUCKLES]

Oh, and guidance counselors, oh, my God.

Oh, yeah, yeah, always trying to suggest a school where we might feel "more comfortable."

"Oh, Wellesley.

That's a fine school, Miranda.

But, um, I think state school is more your speed."

- Mm-hmm.
- Like I don't know my speed.

- Please.
- Try harder and do better just to be considered average.

Or to be considered at all.

But how they underestimate our greatness.

- Graduated magna cum laude...
- Mm-hmm.

...with my biology degree, by the way.

And you better bet my mom cut out the graduation announcement from Wellesley and mailed it to my guidance counselor.

[BOTH LAUGH]

[SIGHS DEEPLY]

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

I don't know how I'm gonna do this.

♪

[SIGHS]

♪

I can come back.

No. No, no, no. Uh, no, I just finished up his EEG.

I wanted to, um, make sure that the seizure was a one-and-done, before I head home, take scalding hot showers, and hug up on everybody.

Um, Maggie says that his numbers are holding.

Good. Thanks.

[DOOR CLOSES]

[MONITOR BEEPING]

I don't know if you were ignoring me when I came by the house or... or if you were just too sick to answer, but I-I'm... I'm gonna go with too sick 'cause then... then maybe there's a-a ray of hope for us, which I could really use right now, and I know you could.

You know, I'm... I'm gonna stop asking.

I'm just gonna decide.

I-I'm deciding that we mean enough to each other that, even though I hurt you and I-I...

I hurt you more than I could ever imagine, that a repair could be made, that... maybe you could remember some of the things that you don't hate about me and we... we could salvage our friendship because...

I don't know how we're going to get through this pandemic, but I do know... I do know that we're not going to get through it alone.

So if you want to have nothing to do with me, then you are just going to have to get all better and tell me yourself, because until I hear you say the words, you're not gonna get rid of me.

♪

Oh, my God. Tom. Tom?

Tom, can you hear me?

It's me. It's... It's Teddy.

KORACICK: You were wrong.

Wrong about what?

♪ The setting free ♪

When you came to my house.

I was ignoring you.

♪ The bittersweet but sweet release ♪

Did you hear everything II just said?

♪ A heavy sky ♪

[CHUCKLES] I hate you.

♪ Hangs on the sea ♪

Well, we both know that's not true.

♪

[LAUGHS, WHEEZES]

♪ Then all at once an opening ♪

[SIGHS] Hey.

What would you say to a sponge bath?

[LAUGHS]

Well, but, you know, as friends.

Friendly sponge bath. [CHUCKLES]

♪ I am lifted, I am lifted ♪

♪ I am lifted, I am free ♪

♪ I've been holding on, I've been holding on ♪

♪ I've been holding on, now I'm lifted ♪

♪ We can learn to love ♪

- ♪ Without looking back ♪
- Hey.

I rounded on all of Bailey's patients.

DeLuca said he'll keep an eye on them for the rest of the night.

Yeah, thank you.

Yeah, I hesitate to ask, but how's her mom doing?

They don't expect her to last the night.

♪ Everything is beautiful ♪

That's... [SIGHS]

♪ I am lifted, I am lifted ♪

You realize half of our COVID patients are Black and brown?

I know.

In a city that's % Black?

Like, how does that even compute?

It doesn't.

If I hear one more person blame it on pre-existing conditions as if the conditions aren't manmade to begin with...

Like we're not pushed into the front line of all of our jobs and forced to live in overcrowded situations, surrounded by environmental hazards.

Yeah, people want to make everything bad that happens your own fault.

Yeah, when systemic racism is the root of the whole damn thing. Forget the pre-, it's the existing condition.

Existing while Black.

♪ I am lifted, I am free ♪

♪ I've been holding on ♪

You know, Richard, we both know my mom is stubborn.

♪ I've been holding on too long ♪

And everything she's been through, I feel like she thinks she's invincible now, and she's not.

♪ I've been holding on too long ♪

We can't lose her, Richard.

The world can't lose her, you know?

It's been handled.

Oh, you talked to her?

Oh, good.

What'd you say?

I think it's best kept between us.

Why are you being weird about it?

'Cause it's about sex, isn't it?

- It is.
- Thanks. Right. Good night.

- [CLEARS THROAT]
- ♪ I am free ♪

Oh, my God. That smells so good.

We're sharing, right?

Pod together, eat together?
Please say yes.

I delivered a baby today.

- Is that a yes?
- Yes!

- Oh.
- Yes, yes.

Wait, weren't we together all day?

What do you mean you delivered a secret baby?

Happened very quick. I went to check on Luna, and this nurse said that there was an imminent delivery, and the next second, I was catching a baby.

I was literally the first person in the universe to hold him.

And then I handed him to his parents, and their faces were just...

No wonder Val's so depressed.

It's the happiest thing I've ever seen.

It was just so pure and simple and perfect.

I was buzzing.

But it was a total random fluke, and tomorrow, I'll be back to the same depressing crap.

I mean, you did save Val's life today.

You think that's why Carina DeLuca is always in such a good mood?
[CHUCKLES]

She's just, you know, handing out babies, and it sh**t her serotonin level through the roof.

Well, yeah, but doesn't she also have, like, an orgasm hobby?

What if I changed?

Changed what?

Careers. Programs.

- [CHUCKLES]
- Is that insane?

- [SIGHS]
- Khan did it, and what he did is so much harder than switching specialties.

He started over with nothing.

And I know... I know I've put years into surgery, but if it's not bringing me any joy, then wouldn't it be insane to not change?

I think you eat and then sleep before you make any major li...

Oh, my God. I sound like my mother.

- [SIGHS]
- I want to be happy.

Everyone's dying.

Meredith's...

Tomorrow is not promised.

Not in marriage.

Not in life.

I want to be happy.

♪

She's decompensating.

You should go in.

She barely knows who I am.

And I want to be there for her.

I-I want her husband to be there for her.

She deserves to be surrounded by love and family.

But Dad's in quarantine.

He's high-risk, and I don't want him to expose anyone.

I don't want him to be exposed.

I know this is not what you imagined for your mother.

And I'm sorry about that.

But she needs you now.

It's time.

And if you don't go in,

I promise you will never forgive yourself.

♪

[CRYING] I'm scared.

♪ I've got sunshine ♪

I know.

- We'll do it together.
- ♪ On a cloudy day ♪

BAILEY: Patients lose their power

when they are referred to as "Bed number "

or "arm pain guy." [SIGHS]

♪ I've got the month of May ♪

Even in their deaths,

they are not faceless.

They are not nameless.

♪ I guess you'd say ♪

They are more than statistics.

♪ What can make me feel this way? ♪

[DOOR CLOSES]

More than "co-morbid conditions"

or "nursing-home patients."

♪ My girl ♪

They are sons, brothers, and uncles

who speak five languages

and run restaurants... Wade Klein, .

♪ My girl ♪

They are great-grandfathers who love Broadway...

Jacob Lappin, .

♪ I don't need no money ♪

♪ Fortune or fame ♪

♪ I got all the riches, baby ♪

They are baseball loving nurses with an easy laugh...

Dane Wilson, .

♪ I guess you'd say ♪

♪ What can make me feel ♪

- ♪ This way? ♪
- ♪ This way? ♪

- ♪ My girl ♪
- ♪ My girl ♪

- ♪ Talking 'bout my girl ♪
- ♪ Talking 'bout my girl ♪

♪

♪ My girl ♪

It's okay.

- Okay.
- ♪ My girl ♪

[FLATLINE]

They are the world's greatest mothers,

and they are the most beloved wives...

Elena Rose Bailey, .

[FLATLINE]

♪