Transcripts - Forever Dreaming

When I was a kid, I would wake up every morning in the winter and immediately open the curtains to see if it was snowing.

Where are you, where are you And it usually was.

It was Boston.

Dr. James Okay, so what are we, uh Hey!

What are you doing?

Stop!

It's freezing out there, and there are sick people in here.

Sorry, Vic Vic Hello?

No, it's crazy in the ER right now.

I can't talk.

Alright.

What do you What do you mean?

Why are you mad?

Um, okay.

You know what?

I can't hear you.

Hello?

Pretty sure she just faked not hearing me so she could hang up.

You paged?

You said you got a patient with frostbite?

Yeah, beds 2, 3, 6, 7, and 9.

Have fun.

- All - Yeah.

Uh.

Hey, whoa!

Get away from that door.

- Okay.

- Schools would close.

People would hunker down, light candles, and eat everything in the refrigerator.

- Sorry, sorry, sorry.

- Hey, Schmitt!

I don't have time, for God's sake!

Come on, you can't be serious.

This is supposed to be the bloody Pacific Northwest, and you're telling me Well, thank you very much.

You've been very helpful.

Yeah, thank you.

Hayes.

We usually let the parents do the screaming on this floor.

I just told my 6-year-old patient's parents that I have a liver for their dying child, but now half a foot of snow has rendered every road in Seattle useless, apparently.

Okay.

And no airlift either?

No, there's no visibility.

And it's just three miles away.

Three bloody miles.

Okay, well, I'm sure the roads are gonna be cleared up in a few hours.

She doesn't have a few hours, Grey.

INR is climbing.

She's developing ascites.

- I'll get it.

- What?

I'll get your liver.

It's at Seattle Pres, right?

Give me the paperwork right now.

I'll go.

Thank you.

I don't know whose service you're on, but I'll cover you.

- How are you gonna get there?

- I'll walk.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Everyone loves a "snow day.

" Except for one person.

My mother.

She always said the same thing "Meredith, surgeons don't get snow days.

" Hey.

So, you know it's 8 degrees outside with a wind chill of minus-15.

People are freezing to death.

Hey, I'm used to the cold, alright?

I grew up in Wisconsin.

I used to be a cross-country skier in high school.

Okay, well, where are your skis, in your locker?

Look, just tell Hayes to call Seattle Pres and that I'll be there in an hour, okay?

Listen to me.

I'm not just not sure you're thinking about this clearly.

Hayes was just screaming at the top of his lungs and slamming his phone down.

On the PEDS floor.

You gonna tell him that he sounds like my dad, too?

She was right.

We don't.

"An object's weight is the product of the Earth's gravitational pull and the mass of that object.

What happens to the mass and weight of a rocket as it travels beyond Earth's orbit?" Kind of tricky.

Mass is the same.

Weight decreases.

Hmm.

I mean, correct.

Chief?

Yeah?

Eight more nurses can't get here due to the road conditions.

ER's over capacity, and Dr.

DeLuca went on foot to pick up a liver from Seattle Pres.

He did what?

Di Alright.

I-I'm coming.

Joey.

Keep at it.

Yes, ma'am.

Checked on the TEVAR from last night.

BP is finally normalized.

Shh, shh, shh!

Still snowing?

Uh, it is.

- Coffee?

- Two sugars.

Thanks.

So, Amelia's not coming to work.

She's not returning my calls or my texts.

Um, are we just gonna keep doing this - till the baby arrives, then we - Hey, Teddy!

Oh.

Would you like some coffee, as well?

I am pouring for everyone.

Everything okay with Amelia?

What, she get snowed in?

Oh.

Something like that.

Mm.

Shepherd should take a leave more often.

Makes him look like he actually belongs with the rest of us mortals.

Mm.

You know what?

I I don't need any more coffee.

Here, someone take this.

Uh Amelia's on leave?

- Why?

- Beats me.

I just got a cryptic text saying the baby's fine but she needed me to cover her service.

And judging from Link's disregard for personal hygiene, that doesn't bode well for their little insta-family.

Or her patients.

Ha ha!

Kidding.

Ohh!

Adonis has made this warm.

Ahh.

Little bit of bleeding.

- A rupture.

- Oh, come on, man!

Get proximal and distal control.

Yeah, that's why that guy died - What - Oops.

Spoiler alert.

Whatcha working on?

Oh, I have a lap chole later today.

Not everybody was snowed out.

Oh, yeah.

Haven't you done like a million of those?

- Why are you practicing?

- I'm experienced because I practice.

I just don't get it.

Those residents they work their butts off, they go into a mountain of debt, all for a chance at the greatest job on the planet, and they treat it like it's retail.

- What's your name?

- Desmond, sir.

Tess Desmond.

Well, Dr.

Desmond, why don't you step over here?

And let's see what your laparoscopic skills are like, hmm?

- Uh, Dr.

Karev!

Good morning!

- It's not.

And move.

We need to do pre-op rounds on my carcinoma.

I actually think we should save Ms.

Anderson for last.

- Like, switch it up a bit, right?

- I disrespectfully disagree.

I need to order I need to talk to her.

Move!

- Schmitt.

- Um, I might've misplaced her.

Or she misplaced herself.

You misplace pens.

You misplace keys.

You don't misplace people.

Sure, when you put it like that, - but I still don't know where she - Find her!

While you're at it, try and find my husband.

Stupid.

Cavalier.

Cowboy.

Doesn't ever listen.

- Maybe fired.

- All due respect, Chief, my patient will die without that liver.

DeLuca could save her.

It's only three miles away.

Have you been outside?

You can't even see three feet ahead of you.

Somebody needs to go after him.

What about Ben?

Can Ben send a rig out - and look for him?

- Yeah.

He can get him to Seattle Pres and get him back.

Last time we spoke, Ben was amputating a foot in a grounded rig.

So, no.

Dr.

Bailey, you asked me to let you know when I discharged Joey Phillips.

No, no!

In the middle of a blizzard?

What's the matter with you?

Sorry, there's no medical reason to keep him.

All that's left is his dispo with Social Services.

He's free to go.

Uh, and let me know if there's an update.

I'll call Andrea every 15 minutes.

Dr. Hayes, something's wrong!

Baby?

Elisa?

Honey, wake up.

- Honey?

- She's hemorrhaging.

Let's hang some FFP and get two units of blood in here.

Damn it, she's unresponsive.

- Oh, God.

- It's okay.

It's okay.

She's okay.

Let's get an intubation tray in here right now.

Let's book an OR!

Ms. Gutierrez, how are we feeling today?

I called my neighbor, Stevie, to check that the heat is still on in my house so my cats are okay, but I worry about the strays.

They don't have wings, can't just fly south.

You know, freezing to death isn't supposed to be that bad.

Uh, uh, people, uh, who have been resuscitated said it was blissful.

Ms. Gutierrez, if I may, I saw on TV that the animal shelters are open 24/7.

There's plenty of food.

People can bring in any animal that they find.

- Even horses.

- Really?

Oh, that's nice.

Okay, then, Ms. Gutierrez.

Someone will come to bring you to pre-op soon.

Hey, Desmond, meet me in the scrub room.

- Me?

- Her?

Uh, I'm I'm supposed to assist, Dr. Webber.

I remember.

But I'm sure the ER is slammed.

They could use the help.

The worst snowstorm we have ever seen in Seattle.

That's right residents around the region I've never seen it snow like this in Seattle.

Mm, it's not supposed to, but y'all ruined the planet so The social worker said that you declined to meet with her about your options.

Mm.

I just turned 18.

Which means you can apply for extended foster care - or go to a group home.

- Or go out on my own.

Why take the chance on getting crappy foster parents just in it for the money?

Because you you might get a great family.

People that can help you get your high-school diploma, apply for college.

Uh, help you find a career you love.

- What?

- Oh.

College?

That'll never happen.

I'll just get a job.

There's always a sign at a Burger Shack.

Joey.

Goodness.

What Come on.

You're coming with me.

You are checking out jobs around here.

I said, come on!

Yes, ma'am.

Hey.

Have you seen my patient?

She's got brown hair and maybe brownish eyes.

She's about, um Well, I don't know how tall she is.

I I've only seen her in bed.

Uh, no, but after you find her, why don't we find an on-call room?

My hip replacement rescheduled.

Um, yeah, yeah, sure.

May Uh, maybe.

What?

Doesn't sound fun?

Might get snowed in, make a night out of it.

It does, but we've been having a lot of fun lately.

In fact, this might be the most we've talked since you told me you weren't out to your parents.

I love you, Nico.

You can talk to me.

You still haven't found her?

Schmitt, I know this job is hard, but you should be able to follow basics like, don't let a severely sick patient evaporate.

If she isn't here, you shouldn't be either.

I have to find my patient.

Hey, more frostbite, bed 10.

Of course there is.

Hey.

So, Mom called.

Leo is stir-crazy.

He keeps trying to open the front door.

But Allison rolled over.

Twice.

No!

Wait, did your mom record Oh, you know what?

I don't even know why I bothered to ask.

Help!

Help me, please!

Please help!

It's my wife she's not talking.

- I don't think she's breathing.

- Okay, just stop moving her.

Stop.

Let's lay her down.

I got her.

- Alright.

Yep.

- Yeah.

- We need a gurney!

- On it!

She's 32 weeks pregnant.

Why's she hurt?

What happened?

I hit her with my car.

Oh, my God.

How far along?

32 weeks.

Page OB.

Let's get the X-ray in here, warm saline, and where's the fetal heart monitor?

- Is she dead?

- We need to do a full exam.

Kendra, are you hurt?

No, no, I'm just c-cold.

Alright, let's get her a warming blanket.

Her back's been hurting her, and I was snowed in at work, and she called and said that she was worried that she might be having contractions.

And she wanted to come here.

We only live four blocks away.

She was walking here?

I told her not to go, but I-I got in my car.

I was almost home, and that's when I-I hit something.

And I got out, and - I'm gonna be sick.

- Whoa, whoa.

Hey.

Fetal heartbeat's strong.

Tube's good.

I thought I was driving on the street.

I was on the sidewalk.

and then, under direct visualization, we remove the ports.

At which point we Uh, deflate the abdomen and close the fascia with U stitches.

Great.

So you ready?

Uh, why wouldn't I be ready?

Oh, my mistake.

I didn't realize that you had already performed a lap chole.

Performed one?

Of course not.

Wait, you don't want me to No, I-I I can't.

I'm not ready.

Do you know how many of your classmates beg to do procedures when they're not ready?

By the way you formed the question, I assume it's a big number.

I'm not gonna leave you on your own, Desmond.

You'll be my hands, but I will guide you through the whole thing, step by step.

Have you ever wanted something with your whole being, but there are so many obstacles it seems like you won't get it?

So you try to stop dreaming, but you can't make yourself stop, so you just live with it, quietly in hell?

Let's show your classmates what you're made of.

Yeah.

So, uh, Ruben's a phlebotomist, draws blood for lab work, never leaves a bruise.

And Pablo, he's a respiratory therapist he oversees ventilators on patients and, um, helps them if - they have any lung issues.

- Right.

So should you Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Schmitt!

Slow down!

- Huh?

What's the problem?

- Uh, nothing.

No problem.

All good.

I lost a patient.

I mean, physically.

I can't find her.

If this story doesn't have a happy ending, neither will your career.

Understand?

Yep.

I'm just gonna Can I have his job?

Losing people?

You're not funny.

Think this shunt will stop the bleeding?

Well, it's our only choice until the liver gets here.

So, you were fired.

And?

And I never heard the full story, and we have time to k*ll.

I had a 4-year-old patient, and she did not have health insurance, so I put my daughter's name on her paperwork - so that I could save her life.

- That's insane.

Well, if you had seen how sick she was No, this country's medical system is insane that you had to do that.

I'd do it for more people if I could, but then they would definitely take away my license.

Hmm.

Never seen such an early case of cirrhosis before.

Alpha-1-Antitrypsin deficiency.

Elisa's older sister died of the same thing.

Family's first doctor diagnosed it from the autopsy.

That was Seattle Pres.

Dr.

DeLuca just left with the donor organ.

- On foot?

- No idea.

Alpha-1-Antitrypsin deficiency.

Was their first doctor Alex Karev?

My absentee co-chief?

Yes, it was.

I think I remember her.

She loved comic books.

He did a whole thing for her on the PEDS floor.

He was devastated when she died.

Well, not devastated enough to come back and help Elisa.

Yang spoke a lot about Karev.

She used to call him the devil or something?

- Evil Spawn.

- Evil Spawn.

That was it.

What did Yang say about me?

Nothing that I can recall.

Hmm.

No.

No, no, no, no, no, no!

Stop!

Everybody.

Oh, my God, stop.

Schmitt?!

What if we'd have been in mid-dissection?

You could've startled Dr.

Desmond so badly she'd injure the common bile duct.

Dr.

Desmond?

Who's that?

She may not have been your year, but, Schmitt, that's no excuse for not knowing who she is.

That's my patient, Tess Anderson!

Your patient?

Now, that's absurd.

I can explain.

Am I, um, technically a-a patient?

Yes.

But you were the one that brought me into the OR.

I was just gonna stay in the skills lab, but you told me to be confident, and I also Oh, not again!

Ohh!

Hey!

Stop!

God in heaven.

Hey, Pierce!

Pierce, Pierce, here!

I want you to meet, uh, Joey Phillips.

He is experiencing my version of a career fair.

Joey, this is Dr.

Maggie Pierce.

Just like Avery, she is chief of her own department, - cardiothoracic surgery.

- Well, technically, I'm co-chief, right?

I was the chief, but then I kind of got demoted.

After you quit and got rehired out of the goodness of my heart.

Which is why it is such an honor to be co-chief, and I'm so proud.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Maggie.

Mom's in P. E. A.

Okay, come on, come on.

Okay.

We lost her pulse.

Did we get OB?

They got swamped with an abruption upstairs.

Give me that ultrasound.

You know what, Joey?

We should go check out a calmer department.

Is she gonna be okay?

The rib must've punctured her heart.

Damn it.

Fetal heart rate's down to 80.

I think we're out of time.

Time for what?

Use words.

You're not using words.

Am I losing them both?

I'm sorry, what's your name?

Kendra.

I'm Kendra.

Kendra, okay, they need to do a C-section.

But she's only 32 weeks.

Yeah, but her heart has been stopped for too long, and if they don't deliver the baby now, it'll be too late.

And then they'll help Lesley?

Uh, I'm afraid Let's get a lap and a thoracotomy tray.

We're gonna do a C-section and a thoracotomy.

- Both?

- Hunt, she will lose way too much blood.

We can give her more.

We're saving them both.

Mom and baby, okay?

Teddy, you take over CPR.

- I Hold on.

Hold on.

- I'm gonna prep for a crash C-section.

Joey, take her arm.

Get her out of here.

Come on.

Lesley, I love you.

I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry.

You don't have to have me guarded.

I'm not a lunatic.

You almost cut into a patient with zero qualifications.

I spent half my life in hospitals.

Mm.

What kind of hospitals?

Schmitt, can you go check on the psych eval?

Gladly.

Is there someone that we can call for you?

Um, friends or family?

No one who'd come out in a blizzard.

Tess, what were you thinking?

I got caught.

It doesn't matter.

Well, it matters to me.

I have adrenocortical carcinoma.

Which is extremely treatable at your stage.

Yeah, so I've heard.

First time you get sick, everyone's there for you.

Kids at school who hated me came to the hospital and apologized and cried.

Not so much the second time or the third.

This is my fourth type of cancer in eight years.

In high school, I was so inspired by the doctors, I decided to become one, to become the people who saved my life.

Got diagnosed the third time in med school.

Recovery took a year, drained my college fund.

Now I'm a barista.

And when I was getting sick, everyone else just kept living.

Graduating, matching.

They all got to live their dream while I just sat here.

And then, one night, it snowed.

It snowed so much almost no one was here.

- And everything looked new.

And I thought, "What if I were new?" "What if I got to live my dream just once?" "Just for a day.

How would it feel?" Felt great, by the way.

Escaping.

Dr.

Webber, you paged?

Uh, yes, I need you to scrub in with me for Ms.

Gutierrez's lap chole.

Wow.

Thank you.

What happened?

Uh it doesn't concern you.

Second round of epi is in.

Are we ready?

Okay, here we go, Lesley.

When's the last time you did a C-section?

This is just a normal laparotomy with a baby inside.

- Did we page the NICU team yet?

- They're on their way.

We have seconds before we lose both of them.

We have a liver lac, I need you to be on standby with the laps.

Owen, you need to cut.

- Okay.

- Stopping compressions.

My turn.

Stop CPR.

Retractor.

No response from Dr.

DeLuca.

He left over an hour ago.

Should I not have trusted him to go?

Suture scissors.

Okay.

So, why Switzerland?

- What?

- We have time to k*ll.

Why did you move to Switzerland?

I sort of ran away.

When my wife died.

Took my kids and went to the furthest place I could think of.

Don't usually get a laugh when I tell that one.

Uh, I'm sorry, it's just that I did the same exact thing.

Where'd you run to?

San Diego.

No idea why.

Hmm.

When your husband died, was it fast or was it slow?

Fast, very fast.

- You?

- Unbearably slow.

Years.

Everyone says it gets easier.

Well, it does and it doesn't.

I mean, the firsts are tough.

And just when you feel like you're starting to heal First time Liam got a stomach bug, I nearly had to be committed.

15 years of medical training out the window.

First anniversary, first birthdays First kiss.

Haven't had that one yet.

Okay, I'm back.

I got it.

Here.

Here.

I got it.

Dr.

DeLuca, tell me you wore gloves.

Okay.

I wore gloves.

Let's page Dr.

Avery right now.

And let's prep for this transplant!

Everyone is overexaggerating, okay?

We're taking away resources from actual patients that need us.

Stop.

Simms, I need a rewarming basin set up at 100 degrees with saline, warming blanket, and I want tPA on standby - just in case we end up needing it.


- On it.

No.

Stop.

This is ridiculous.

I need to treat patients.

You're not treating patients like this.

W-Who are you gonna treat?

You're not a doctor right now.

Can Can we get my sister out of here, please?

DeLuca, I've been doing this all day, so I need you to listen close.

If you do not let me treat you exactly the way I need to, you will lose one or both of your hands, and your future as a surgeon, okay?

So sit tight, shut the hell up, and let me get you thawed out.

A rib has punctured the pericardium.

It feels like one big clot.

She's tamponading the heart has no room to beat.

- We're gonna have to open her up.

- Metz.

How are you doing?

Okay.

Where's that warmer?

Okay.

Alright.

Okay, here we go.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay, starting compressions.

Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.

I'm gonna need a neonatal intubation tray.

Come on, come on, come on.

Come on, come on.

I asked her not to leave the house.

I asked her not to go.

Hey You know, pregnant women have a stubborn streak.

Yeah, but this isn't normal, right?

I mean, having heart surgery and delivering a baby?

Have you ever seen this?

Y I-I'll go check on her.

Hey, stay right here.

Her bleeding has stopped with the shunt, and we did a successful transplant.

Her numbers are improving.

So she's okay.

Elisa's okay?

She's gonna be okay.

We'd like to thank the doctor who went out in the snow to get the liver.

Do you know where he is?

Oh, he's warming up.

You've all been so Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

Oh, God.

Is there an update?

I just pulled a huge clot out of her pericardium, - and now I'm massaging - Wait, hold compressions.

Let's see if we have a rhythm.

Alright, let's pack her and get her to the OR.

- Uh, Hunt?

- Baby's intubated, two rounds of epi.

Just hold on, just give it a second.

It's a girl.

Dear God.

You guys Okay.

Joey!

He brought them both back.

Awesome.

He's right, Hunt.

Everybody, this was awesome.

- It was, wasn't it?

- Oh!

Careful.

Avery's trying to save DeLuca's hands because he played outside for too long.

How did you know I was out here?

A little blinking beacon in my brain tells me where you are at all times.

That was creepy.

Even for me.

No, I I came down from the ER with cocoa, and I saw you walk out of trauma one.

Looked like an unbelievable save.

Here.

Here.

Thanks.

Everything okay?

Yeah, I'm just, uh I'm just, uh trying to quiet my mind.

You know, I've had this fear for a couple months, and I'm just, uh Just worried that it might be coming true.

What's that?

Well, I'm just I'm worried that Owen is the father of Amelia's baby.

Which is crazy, probably, right?

That But it it I just I can't shake it.

It's the first thing that went through my mind when I heard that Amelia was pregnant.

W-Why Why do you think that is?

Because I'm broken, maybe?

- Ah.

'Cause I can't trust that things will work out 'cause Because maybe I'm afraid that that he'll always be in love with Amelia.

That's a terrible feeling, thinking somebody you're in love with is pining for someone else.

I mean trust me, I know.

But, hey Come on.

I I've seen Owen with you.

That man's clearly in love with you.

It's seeping out of his ruddy little pores.

Trust me, I'd be the first one to tell you otherwise.

Mm.

You're a good man, Tom.

Oh, God.

You're the only person here who thinks that.

I-I know people dislike me.

Strongly.

And I know I don't show it, but, uh, I think I hate it.

And they're all part of a club, and they won't have me join.

And I've been trying for two years.

Well, I don't dislike you.

Hmm.

I'd even say I like you.

Hm.

- A lot.

- Hmm.

Hmm.

- What are you doing?

- What?

Oh, that look, I That look is No, there's no look!

You always have a look.

No.

No look.

- Oh.

- There's no look.

I don't No, that's Oh, that Oh.

- - Tom!

Oh!

You are a dead man!

- Don't.

Don't!

- You wait.

Oh, yes.

Don't Don't do it.

Don't These hands are insured!

Psych says that she's not a flight risk, so I moved her surgery to tomorrow.

Thanks.

Ms.

Gutierrez is okay.

You here to rub it in?

No, I'm here because after the surgery, she asked where the doctor was that had the nice things to say about the animals.

Did you tell her I'm in a straitjacket?

I said that Dr.

Desmond was with another patient.

Desmond.

Sounds like something out of a soap opera.

I'm such an idiot.

My dream was to be a surgeon, too.

Yeah, well, lucky you.

You really want to get into a contest about obstacles with me?

What I was saying was my dream was a lot harder than it was for other people.

But I stuck with it, and I made it come true.

If you can survive four cancers you can finish med school.

You know why I asked you to be my hands today?

Some teaching crap, I guess.

What is it?

Parkinson's?

Yeah, it could be.

Or old age, I'm not sure.

There are treatments for that now.

Medications.

They're even working on some brain surgeries that There's no treatment that can let me keep doing what I love most.

This job defined me.

More than any relationship, any illness.

And if I can't do it anymore, then You were right earlier, this is the greatest job on the planet.

And if I thought there was even a chance that I could get to operate again, I would move heaven and earth to make it happen.

So you can give up, but I can't?

No, there is a big difference between throwing in the towel after a fight and before the fight even started.

No, you you can't.

Ah, I don't need it anymore.

But I really hope you do.

And this will help with the pain.

It doesn't hurt, actually.

It will.

I mean, none of your blisters are open now, but there's a very strong chance I'm gonna need to debride in the OR.

And, DeLuca, I can't stress this enough the next 12 hours are critical.

- Thank you.

- Thank you.

I'm not really in the mood for visitors.

Andrew, that little girl is alive because of you.

So I just wanted you to know that.

I do know that.

And I also know that if you'd had it your way, I wouldn't have gone out there, and that little girl would be dead.

So I guess you're thanking me for not listening to you.

Andrea, we were just worried about you.

Okay, this is just like when Papa I'm not him, okay?!

I'm not him!

For the first time in my career, I'm succeeding on my own, without anybody's help.

Why can't you just be happy for me and accept that?

Why Why Why you do you always got to accuse me - of of not being well?

- Because there's a history Okay, well I don't accuse you of having Alzheimer's every time you forget something, do I?

You know, you can go, Meredith.

Please, just just leave.

Sorry.

I had a couple of fires to put out.

That's a chief's job.

Did the baby's mom make it?

She did.

Lesley's in the ICU.

Was that woman right?

This doesn't usually happen?

It definitely does not.

That might have been the coolest thing I've ever seen.

Me, too.

Hey, c-come home with me.

With my family.

- What?

- Come to my house.

Stay while you finish high school, while we fill out your college applications.

And after you've been away at school, come back and eat Thanksgiving dinner and and do your laundry.

And maybe talk about what career you want.

Look, I don't need money from the county.

That's not what this is about.

I have an extra room, extra food, extra love to give.

I I have a son who loves to play video games.

And a husband who will understand eventually.

You're serious?

When have you known me to not to be serious?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'd like that.

You Okay.

Yeah.

Okay.

Alright.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

Hi.

I've seen her, sweetheart.

I've seen our little girl.

And she is she is so you.

Can I give this to you?

Thank you.

Maggie, I have a favor to ask you.

Sure I know that Amelia just took some personal time.

And I know that Link is having a terrible time with it.

And I I know that I have this feeling that I can't shake, but has something to do with Owen.

I know that you're Amelia's sister, and that your allegiance is to her, and I deeply respect that.

And I'm not asking you to tell me everything that you know, but I am asking you Am I crazy?

Am I seeing things that that that aren't there?

You're not crazy.

- Hey.

- Ah.

Uh, the rigs got the all-clear, so I just we just dropped off the guy with the amputated foot.

Uh, JJ gave birth at the station in the bathroom.

Wow, that's, um - But she's good.

- She's good, and the baby's good.

- So - I'm sorry, Vic.

I'm Look, I'm sorry we had our first fight.

I'm sorry I God, I'm too tired to remember.

But I I am sorry.

I'm sorry, too.

It was stupid.

I'm pretty sure I was stupid, but - Not touching that.

- Yeah.

I know better than that.

- Meet you at your place?

- Yeah.

We could have our second fight.

Oh, it's too soon.

Find your patient?

Yeah, and she got to do more medicine than I did because she impersonated a surgeon.

She could have k*lled somebody.

Nico, you're silencing me with sex.

And it's really amazing sex, but it's becoming all we do.

And I understand if you're not ready to talk about your parents.

But I want a relationship, not an impersonation.

And this it doesn't feel real.

Okay, look.

Uh, Levi I'm not you.

I don't like talking about feelings, I don't like to "dive deep.

" I like to show up and just be together.

And I accept all your feelings talk and whatever, all of you.

I accept you.

I don't try to change you.

But you can't stop trying to change me.

So, this is all I have to give.

This right here, Levi This is who I am.

And if I'm really - not enough for you, then Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Don't go.

I love you.

I I accept you.

Don't go.

Hey.

Okay, no need to take it out on the door, I'm coming, I'm coming, coming, coming, coming.

Hold on.

Oh.

I was just kidding.

I, uh I love the way you knock.

Never change Right after a storm, I would run outside.

Whether it was the air or the fresh blanket of snow it always felt magical.

Or new.

- Hey.

- Hey.

Finally stopped snowing, so I ran out and made an executive decision about dinner.

- Oh.

- Chicken noodle soup from Harry's.

You know, with the bagel chips you like.

Oh, wait, wait.

Ben.

Are you, uh Everything okay?

Everything's great!

Oh, there we go.

Um Is that Joey?

Is he wearing my clothes?

Uh, so we should talk.

But as beautiful as it is, the snow starts to melt.

Misery loves company, so I brought donuts and despair.

Jo?

I I thought you were him.

I'm sorry.

He left me.

No, he didn't.

I think he did.

I think he woke up one day and felt the need to escape his life and me.

I called his mom.

He wasn't there.

He'd never been there.

He left me.

And now I can't I can't I can't breathe.

And you're suddenly standing - in dirty slush - I can't breathe.

frozen and unable to feel anything at all.

But after enough time, even that disappears.

Hey.

Hey.

Where you off to?

Home to hug my boys, spoil them rotten just because they're alive.

You?

Same.

Hmm.

Grey.

Dr.

DeLuca, who is he to you?

He's one of my firsts.

He's the first man that I said "I love you" to after my husband.

Was it good?

To say I love you to someone new?

Yeah, I It was.

It was good.

It was really good.

I've been, um It's been lonely.

You know?

I've never met anyone like me.

Widowed so young.

It's nice.

It helps.

To have a friend.

It helps me, too.

The ground thaws, the days get longer, and though you could never imagine it, you start to feel again.

Good night, Hayes.

She talked about having a "twisted sister.

" Yang did.

I'm guessing that's you?

It surprises me every time.