01x03 - Counseling
Posted: 10/24/16 05:40
Got some flowers.
I know what you're going through.
It's open season on men around here.
Oh, come on, that's not fair.
Frances: Come on, all my stuff is in the house.
You'll find your purse in the garbage.
Why are you being a complete f*cking assh*le about this!
Bad connection.
It's checks every box on your list.
It is the perfect spot for the Frances DuFresne gallery.
(GASPING)
It's simply a tough time.
I just want to make sure that you know that the stuff with Julian meant nothing.
Robert: You said I could take some time to think about it.
I need some time to think about it.
I never thought I'd be the kind of guy to use a headhunter.
Executive recruiter.
Oh, sorry.
But I wanna know what's out there for me.
Okay, uh, what are you looking for?
I'm not sure.
Mm.
See, I've been at this job for 20-plus years...
Mm-hmm.
...and it's just the same thing over and over and over and over again.
I'm not getting any younger.
Call me crazy, but I want a new challenge.
It's a whole big world out there and I've lost 20 pounds.
I wanna see how I fit into it.
Never too late for a fresh start, right?
Yes, right.
Maybe.
So I was thinking that...
But doesn't it make more sense, Ted, to hold on to what you've got?
Because if you lose it, then you might end up with nothing at all.
Nothing.
And then what is there to do but wrestle with your own regrets while you wait around to die?
Um, I... I mean, I was just wondering what was out there.
That's...
What if there's nothing out there, Ted?
Just a thought.
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
(CHATTER)
(MUSIC PLAYING)
Robert: Holy shit, is this Corinthian granite?
This looks like Corinthian granite to me.
You don't usually see this attention to detail in a remodel at this price.
Mm-hmm.
Nope.
Smooth, rustic Corinthian granite.
I don't know. Whoever did this place, they did a f*cking good job.
You guys gonna make an offer?
I'm gonna make an offer.
Hey, Robert?
Are you a real estate agent? I'd like to make an offer.
Robert, can you stop doing that, please?
Doing what?
The thing you're doing about the offer, okay?
You did a great job with the place.
Now get out of here. Let me sell it.
Oh, this place is gonna sell itself.
Well...
This place is gonna sell itself.
Hey, seriously, stop.
It's unprofessional.
Have we got any offers?
When I get an offer, I'll let you know.
How about I make you an offer, pretty lady?
And I don't mean vis-à-vis real estate.
Oh, come on. Really?
Just trading zingers, Vic. Come on.
Shaking out the sillies a little bit.
You used to love that.
Robert, you're embarrassing yourself, okay?
Get out.
Hey, Vic, if I wanted my balls crushed and stuffed up my ass, I'd stay at home.
Are you okay, Robert?
I mean, is everything all right?
Just playing with your head.
I was just trading zingers.
Just... just busting beans, yeah.
All right.
I'm gonna catch you on the flip side, okay?
Yeah.
It was good to see you again.
I hope you get an offer.
Okay.
You guys should check out the Corinthian granite in the kitchen.
That's the really good shit in there.
Robert: Hello.
Hello.
Robert DuFresne, checking in.
Yes. Take a seat, Mr. DuFresne.
Robert. Rob.
Nobody calls me Rob.
My name is Robert.
Robert.
(EXHALES)
Hi.
Hello.
(ROBERT SIGHS)
Christ.
Frances? Robert?
Robert: I think the real issue here is trust.
Isn't that why we're here?
Yes.
And you... you can trust me.
How? How can I trust you?
Well, I...
I wanna find a way to get to a place where you can find the means to trust me again.
Okay.
So what would it take for us to get to that place?
I don't know, a time machine?
That's not helpful.
It's not helpful?
If I'm ever gonna be able to trust her again...
Mm-hmm.
...I think I need to know every single detail about her affair with this f*cking French douchebag.
How would that possibly be helpful?
Because I don't wanna think that I know the truth and then five years down the line unearth a fresh mudslide that buries me in shit all over again.
I want every detail right now.
Okay, well, uh, first of all, he's not French.
Oh, come on. Seriously?
I... did you forget I talked to him on the telephone? Huh?
(NEW ZEALAND ACCENT) "How'd you get this number? How'd you get this number?"
Okay.
Okay? Are we gonna start this off with lies?
Is that what we're doing?
Okay, you know what?
I'm gonna let that go because, you know, in the big scheme it just... it just doesn't...
S-so, what?
Do you wanna ask me questions?
Or do you want me to just, you know, paint a word picture?
How many times?
How many times what?
You know what I'm talking about.
How many times did you have intercourse with his French penis?
Oh, um... oh, gosh.
Um...
Around 30, 32.
What the f*ck?! 32?!
I just...
You had sex 32 times?!
I just don't see how this is helpful.
I mean, I had a number in my head, okay?
And I can f*cking guarantee you it wasn't 32.
Well, uh...
It was a lot smaller than 32.
Well, what was the number in your head?
It was two. Jesus Christ.
Oh.
Come on, 32 times?
This was spread out over a long period and there was a whole section in the middle where nothing was happening at all because I knew what I was doing was wrong.
But...
Okay, I don't want any more.
I don't want any more.
I'm trying to be helpful. I don't know what to do.
I thought I wanted to know all the details, but you know what?
This is just too much details.
Okay, well, I'm happy to stop, because this is just...
Did you ever tell him that you loved him?
N-no... no, I never did that.
S-so... what would be most helpful now to...?
I know you're not here for value judgments, but from a clinical standpoint, I mean, a pure, sort of medical profile of the moment, doesn't it sound like they did a shitload of f*cking?
Doesn't it? I mean, it sounds like a shitload of f*cking to me.
(CLEARS THROAT)
(SIGHS)
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
Nope.
Please.
Robert, what are you doing?
Excuse me.
Sorry.
I need my space.
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
I accidentally hit "door open."
Would you hit "door close," please?
Sorry, my wife and I are having some struggles.
It's a situation that involves infidelity, i.e., she's f*cking a French guy.
I had another thought about Robert.
Which is?
Which is f*ck him.
He is a monster.
He is raging and he's making zero effort to see your side of this.
A monster wouldn't agree to go to counseling.
Would you go beige with these walls or cream?
Traditionally, you do sort of an off-white, like a stone white.
You know, like, flat enamel.
Right. Anyway, you need to destroy him.
Unless you wanna end up with nothing, you need to destroy him before he destroys you.
I don't want anyone destroying anyone.
Mm, too late.
He's already had a head start in destroying you.
First, he makes you move out of the city so he can start his new business.
And then he makes you take that stupid job to support the family while he starts his new business.
What's the rent?
It's a lot more than I'd like to pay.
Well, alimony will cover that.
As it should. He owes you that.
f*cking monster.
He's not a monster.
He's the father of my children.
So your children are half monster.
You'll raise them human.
(THUDDING)
You know, Craig, if we pulled up this linoleum, we might find some beautiful old wide planking.
You pull this linoleum up, you're gonna find waterlogged plywood. That's about it.
I don't know, Craig. An old sweetheart like this?
I think she's got some nice surprises in store for us.
Like the rusted-out sewage main?
That was a nice surprise.
Who's writing the checks here, Craig?
(MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
All right, then.
So, Craig, what's new?
What's, uh... what's been going on?
Well, the new window sashes were supposed to arrive yesterday, but...
No, I mean with you. You know, what's going on with you personally?
Nothing, really. There's not a lot to report.
Lucky man, lucky man.
Count your blessings, lucky man.
Okay.
Okay. There you go. Put her there.
I'll see... I'll... yeah, okay.
All right.
Ah, man.
Yep.
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
You mind if I take a load off, amigos?
No problem, jefe.
Great.
(GRUNTS)
Yeah. Ah, no, thanks.
(CLEARS THROAT)
What's been going on with you guys lately?
No, not much. It's good.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Yeah. Enjoy it while it lasts.
That's my motto.
Workers: Mm. Mm-hmm.
You, uh... you married, Gabriel?
You know?
Oh, quieres?
Oh, no, no, no. I mean, uh, you know...
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
Oh, yeah. Pretty good.
Sí.
Me? Maybe, uh...
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
No, you know... no mas.
Workers: Oh.
To be married is difficult.
Especially when, you know, your wife, your esposa, you know, she's... making the f*ck with a... a French pendejo.
Oh, my God.
You know?
Workers: Oh.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
Sebastian: Mm-hmm?
He says if you want, he knows a guy who could get you a g*n.
A g*n? Oh, shit.
No, no, no, no.
No, but muchas gracias, Gabriel.
Muchas gracias.
Jefe.
Yeah.
Excuse me.
(DINGS)
f*ck! f*ck.
Shit.
Really?
(SIGHS)
Ugh.
(BLARING ON RADIO) ♪ Owner of a broken heart ♪
♪ Owner of a lonely heart ♪
♪ Say you don't wanna chance it ♪
♪ You've been hurt so before ♪
♪ Watch it now... ♪
(VOLUME INCREASES)
♪ The eagle in the sky ♪
♪ How he dancing one and only ♪
♪ You lose yourself... ♪
(PANTING)
(HANNAH WHIMPERING)
Oh, Lila, honey, not a good idea.
What are you doing?
I thought if maybe I washed Hannah's fur, then it wouldn't bother Daddy's allergies as much and then he would go back to sleeping in your guys's room and I could have my room back.
Oh, sweetie.
Ugh, what a drag.
Yep.
No, honey, it's not that I'm allergic to... to Hannah or to her fur.
It's the, uh... what's the shit that's airborne called?
Dander.
The dander.
I'm... I'm allergic to dog dander.
Let's go look it up on the Internet.
Yeah? That'll be cool.
We'll leave this to... you know, to her.
(WHIMPERS)
Ugh.
Barbara: Hi, how are you?
Hey, Barb.
Rob DuFresne, checking in.
Okay, you can have a seat.
(SIGHS)
Hi.
Hello.
(CHATTER, CHUCKLING)
(DOOR OPENS)
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACH)
Woman: Frances.
Robert.
This wasn't something I went looking for.
The situation arose and I made one wrong decision...
I've had plenty of opportunities to make one wrong decision.
Well, then maybe you're a better person than me.
Plenty of opportunities.
I'm not saying that, okay?
I'm just saying...
Wait, hold it. Like who?
Like who, what?
Like who did you have an opportunity to make a wrong decision with?
What, do you want a list?
Yeah.
I... I... how is this relevant to the discussion?
Is... is this relevant?
Okay.
Um, here's a good example.
There was one woman that I became friends with.
And eventually, we became very close.
As friends, as confidants.
Never physical.
Admittedly at one point, we discussed our feelings for one another.
She wanted to take it to the next step, but I was unwilling to do that.
I knew it was wrong.
I did not cross that line.
I honored my marriage vows.
So basically, you had an emotional affair.
It was not an affair because it was never physical, Frances.
So that doesn't count as betrayal?
That sounds... that sounds like an emotional affair.
What are you talking about?
It was an emotional affair.
And to me, that is just as hurtful as a physical one.
What is she talking about?
I think what she's trying to say is that intimacy is intimacy, whether it be physical or emotional, yeah?
What are you talking about?
Wait, wait, hang on, hang on.
You're talking about your old college buddy Kathy DeSantis, aren't you?
Okay, I don't see how naming names at this point has any bearing...
I knew it and that is f*cking infuriating.
Look, I didn't say it is or is not Kathy what's-her-name...
This was a woman that he talked to on the phone all the time and emailed, and she even went on a fishing trip with him.
Yeah, uh, it was a group trip.
Everybody was fishing.
Yeah, and when I got suspicious, because, yes, of course I got suspicious and jealous and everything because, you know, it just seemed weird, he convinced me that I had trust issues.
Because you did have trust issues.
To the point that I started seeing a therapist to find out what was so wrong with me that I was freaked out about my husband and his old platonic college buddy.
We were study buddies junior and senior year.
And I was right to be suspicious because he was having an emotional affair with her the whole time!
It was not an affair!
We didn't f*ck!
So what? So what?
You know what?
I want every single detail.
I mean, if I am gonna be able to move forward, I am gonna want every single detail of the emotional affair you had with Kathy DeSantis just like you wanted from me.
Okay.
First of all, you're right.
It was Kathy DeSantis.
I know.
We know.
But nothing happened, so what are we talking about?
Nothing physical.
That's right.
So what are we talking about it for?
So who broke it off?
It was mutual.
(SCOFFS) It's never mutual.
Okay, I was trying to be a gentleman.
I broke it off.
Well, I was on my way to break it off.
On your way where?
To her hotel.
Wow.
But this is exactly the point I'm trying to make.
Okay?
She was in the city on business.
She invited me to come to her hotel, which I... I knew what that meant because she'd never done it before.
Okay? And I realized at that point that I needed to just stop talking to her.
End of story.
How did she take it?
Was it a tearful farewell?
I don't know.
Were there hugs? Was there weeping?
No.
(SIGHS) Because there was an incident.
What kind of incident?
There was a very bad incident.
What?
9/11.
What do you mean... what?
9/11 happened, okay?
9/11.
(SIGHS) I mean, once I established that she was okay because her hotel was down in that area, I turned the car around and I came straight home.
What?
And that was it.
What?
When I asked you about the dust on your car, you told me that you had rushed down to Ground Zero to deliver water to the first responders.
I... I did do that.
I... I mean, I did that also.
Because I was already down in that area, okay?
Oh, f*ck it.
I didn't take any water to anybody, okay?
Because all the stores were closed!
It was chaos.
It was hard as shit to buy water.
I couldn't find a f*cking cash machine.
And I heard the banks were next.
So I was in harm's way.
Wow.
Wow!
Right?
Wow.
Un-f*cking-believable.
(MUSIC PLAYING)
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
(MUFFLED MUSIC BLARING)
(MUSIC STOPS)
(LASERS ZAPPING)
It's nice, right?
(SIGHS)
(GROANS)
f*ck.
Robert: So I'm like, "Excuse me, doesn't an affair mean it had to be physical?"
And they're like, "An emotional affair is just as hurtful."
Blah, blah, bliggity, bliggity, whatever.
It's just a mess, old buddy.
It's just a f*cking mess.
The worst part is I don't even have Frances to talk to about it.
I don't have anybody to talk to.
I mean, sure, I have my buddies at work, but my subordinates can't see their boss be weak.
I thought about getting a therapist, but if this ball-crusher of a marriage counselor is any indication, that's just money down the toidy.
I don't even believe in therapy...
Robert?
Nick!
Please shut up.
Come again, Nick?
Please shut the f*ck up. (CRIES)
Please?
Oh! Oh, oh.
I'm so sorry. Are you okay?
(GRUNTS) I'm okay.
Hello, sweetheart.
Oh!
I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!
I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to.
It's okay. It's okay.
I didn't mean to.
I know you didn't mean to.
Of course you didn't mean to.
I know. Shh.
Hey, Nick, you're still pretty out of it, so I think I should remind you Diane tried to sh**t us.
Robert.
Well, you know what?
There's been a conspiracy of silence surrounding both our marriages for a long time and I'm not gonna be a part of it.
Robert, it was an accident.
I never should've had a g*n in the house, especially not where this daffy broad could find it.
Holy shit.
No, I was just trying to scare you.
Well, you did.
You were being so hateful to me.
I know I was.
But I won't be.
Ever again.
Really?
That Nick is somebody neither one of us wants around anymore.
Jumping in here again there, buddy, 'cause I think you're really high.
Gotta remember Diane att*cked us with a handgun.
Robert, you are harshing my buzz.
Get me a Sprite.
I missed you so much.
This is tough to watch.
Hey.
Hey, Barb.
Barbara: Go right in.
Hi.
Hi.
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
So... (CLEARS THROAT)
Nick woke up.
Yeah, I know.
I saw him this morning.
He looked good.
Yeah, he's lost a lot of weight.
It's a hell of a way to lose weight.
Yeah.
So I'm gonna sign a lease for my gallery space on Main Street.
What?
Yeah.
It's pretty good.
I mean, you know, it needs to be fixed up a little bit, but...
I don't know, Frances. Really?
With everything that's going on, you really think that this is the time to open a store?
It's not a store. It's an art gallery.
Whatever it is, I think you should hold off for a few months because there are more important things that we should be thinking about.
Barbara: Right. All right. No, no, no...
(SIGHS)
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
Where are you going?
I think we're wasting our time with counseling.
So do I.
Then let's not do it.
Fine with me.
Barbara, can you tell Dr. Henderson that we're, um... we're done?
(DISTANT DOG BARKING)
(DOOR OPENS)
(DOOR CLOSES)
Hey.
I'm just gonna get going.
I guess I'll have my lawyer call your lawyer?
I don't have a lawyer.
Yeah, I don't have a lawyer either.
Well, isn't there a way to do this without lawyers?
I don't know. Is there?
I'll figure it out.
I can figure it out.
How are you gonna figure it out?
My computer.
Yeah, no, I'll figure it out. It's all right.
You've got a lot going on.
Not really, other than figuring out where I'm gonna sleep tonight.
Robert, I told you there's no reason why you can't stay here.
Frances, come on.
There's about a thousand reasons I can't stay here.
I'm sorry, Robert. I really am. I never meant...
Let's don't have a big emotional scene.
I... I can't take it.
I'm sorry.
It's okay.
Just remember something...
I always loved you.
And I loved you.
Good-bye, Frances.
Good-bye, Robert.
Good-bye.
Good-bye.
I really need to use the washroom and... and I gotta do it in a hurry.
I think you know what that means.
Yeah, go ahead.
Thanks.
Can you go upstairs first?
Oh, sure.
I don't want your last memory of me in this house to be, you know?
Yeah, no, I... I got it, Robert. Thank you.
All right. Thank you.
(SIGHS)
Frances.
I just wanted to say your name again.
(DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)
♪ Tonight, I'm gonna break away ♪
♪ Just you wait and see ♪
♪ I'll never be imprisoned ♪
♪ By a faded memory... ♪
(TOILET FLUSHES)
Robert: f*ck.
Oh, come on.
God damn it.
(PORCELAIN CLANKS)
(TOILET FLUSHES)
♪ It happens all the time ♪
♪ This crazy love of mine ♪
♪ Wraps around my heart ♪
♪ Refusin' to unwind ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
♪ Crazy love ♪
♪ Ah, ha ♪
♪ Tonight, I'm gonna break away ♪
♪ Just you wait and see ♪
♪ I'll never be imprisoned ♪
♪ By a faded memory ♪
♪ It happens all the time ♪
♪ This crazy love of mine ♪
♪ Wraps around my heart ♪
♪ Refusin' to unwind ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
♪ Crazy love ♪
♪ Ah, ha ♪
♪ Tonight, I'm gonna break away. ♪
I know what you're going through.
It's open season on men around here.
Oh, come on, that's not fair.
Frances: Come on, all my stuff is in the house.
You'll find your purse in the garbage.
Why are you being a complete f*cking assh*le about this!
Bad connection.
It's checks every box on your list.
It is the perfect spot for the Frances DuFresne gallery.
(GASPING)
It's simply a tough time.
I just want to make sure that you know that the stuff with Julian meant nothing.
Robert: You said I could take some time to think about it.
I need some time to think about it.
I never thought I'd be the kind of guy to use a headhunter.
Executive recruiter.
Oh, sorry.
But I wanna know what's out there for me.
Okay, uh, what are you looking for?
I'm not sure.
Mm.
See, I've been at this job for 20-plus years...
Mm-hmm.
...and it's just the same thing over and over and over and over again.
I'm not getting any younger.
Call me crazy, but I want a new challenge.
It's a whole big world out there and I've lost 20 pounds.
I wanna see how I fit into it.
Never too late for a fresh start, right?
Yes, right.
Maybe.
So I was thinking that...
But doesn't it make more sense, Ted, to hold on to what you've got?
Because if you lose it, then you might end up with nothing at all.
Nothing.
And then what is there to do but wrestle with your own regrets while you wait around to die?
Um, I... I mean, I was just wondering what was out there.
That's...
What if there's nothing out there, Ted?
Just a thought.
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
(CHATTER)
(MUSIC PLAYING)
Robert: Holy shit, is this Corinthian granite?
This looks like Corinthian granite to me.
You don't usually see this attention to detail in a remodel at this price.
Mm-hmm.
Nope.
Smooth, rustic Corinthian granite.
I don't know. Whoever did this place, they did a f*cking good job.
You guys gonna make an offer?
I'm gonna make an offer.
Hey, Robert?
Are you a real estate agent? I'd like to make an offer.
Robert, can you stop doing that, please?
Doing what?
The thing you're doing about the offer, okay?
You did a great job with the place.
Now get out of here. Let me sell it.
Oh, this place is gonna sell itself.
Well...
This place is gonna sell itself.
Hey, seriously, stop.
It's unprofessional.
Have we got any offers?
When I get an offer, I'll let you know.
How about I make you an offer, pretty lady?
And I don't mean vis-à-vis real estate.
Oh, come on. Really?
Just trading zingers, Vic. Come on.
Shaking out the sillies a little bit.
You used to love that.
Robert, you're embarrassing yourself, okay?
Get out.
Hey, Vic, if I wanted my balls crushed and stuffed up my ass, I'd stay at home.
Are you okay, Robert?
I mean, is everything all right?
Just playing with your head.
I was just trading zingers.
Just... just busting beans, yeah.
All right.
I'm gonna catch you on the flip side, okay?
Yeah.
It was good to see you again.
I hope you get an offer.
Okay.
You guys should check out the Corinthian granite in the kitchen.
That's the really good shit in there.
Robert: Hello.
Hello.
Robert DuFresne, checking in.
Yes. Take a seat, Mr. DuFresne.
Robert. Rob.
Nobody calls me Rob.
My name is Robert.
Robert.
(EXHALES)
Hi.
Hello.
(ROBERT SIGHS)
Christ.
Frances? Robert?
Robert: I think the real issue here is trust.
Isn't that why we're here?
Yes.
And you... you can trust me.
How? How can I trust you?
Well, I...
I wanna find a way to get to a place where you can find the means to trust me again.
Okay.
So what would it take for us to get to that place?
I don't know, a time machine?
That's not helpful.
It's not helpful?
If I'm ever gonna be able to trust her again...
Mm-hmm.
...I think I need to know every single detail about her affair with this f*cking French douchebag.
How would that possibly be helpful?
Because I don't wanna think that I know the truth and then five years down the line unearth a fresh mudslide that buries me in shit all over again.
I want every detail right now.
Okay, well, uh, first of all, he's not French.
Oh, come on. Seriously?
I... did you forget I talked to him on the telephone? Huh?
(NEW ZEALAND ACCENT) "How'd you get this number? How'd you get this number?"
Okay.
Okay? Are we gonna start this off with lies?
Is that what we're doing?
Okay, you know what?
I'm gonna let that go because, you know, in the big scheme it just... it just doesn't...
S-so, what?
Do you wanna ask me questions?
Or do you want me to just, you know, paint a word picture?
How many times?
How many times what?
You know what I'm talking about.
How many times did you have intercourse with his French penis?
Oh, um... oh, gosh.
Um...
Around 30, 32.
What the f*ck?! 32?!
I just...
You had sex 32 times?!
I just don't see how this is helpful.
I mean, I had a number in my head, okay?
And I can f*cking guarantee you it wasn't 32.
Well, uh...
It was a lot smaller than 32.
Well, what was the number in your head?
It was two. Jesus Christ.
Oh.
Come on, 32 times?
This was spread out over a long period and there was a whole section in the middle where nothing was happening at all because I knew what I was doing was wrong.
But...
Okay, I don't want any more.
I don't want any more.
I'm trying to be helpful. I don't know what to do.
I thought I wanted to know all the details, but you know what?
This is just too much details.
Okay, well, I'm happy to stop, because this is just...
Did you ever tell him that you loved him?
N-no... no, I never did that.
S-so... what would be most helpful now to...?
I know you're not here for value judgments, but from a clinical standpoint, I mean, a pure, sort of medical profile of the moment, doesn't it sound like they did a shitload of f*cking?
Doesn't it? I mean, it sounds like a shitload of f*cking to me.
(CLEARS THROAT)
(SIGHS)
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
Nope.
Please.
Robert, what are you doing?
Excuse me.
Sorry.
I need my space.
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
I accidentally hit "door open."
Would you hit "door close," please?
Sorry, my wife and I are having some struggles.
It's a situation that involves infidelity, i.e., she's f*cking a French guy.
I had another thought about Robert.
Which is?
Which is f*ck him.
He is a monster.
He is raging and he's making zero effort to see your side of this.
A monster wouldn't agree to go to counseling.
Would you go beige with these walls or cream?
Traditionally, you do sort of an off-white, like a stone white.
You know, like, flat enamel.
Right. Anyway, you need to destroy him.
Unless you wanna end up with nothing, you need to destroy him before he destroys you.
I don't want anyone destroying anyone.
Mm, too late.
He's already had a head start in destroying you.
First, he makes you move out of the city so he can start his new business.
And then he makes you take that stupid job to support the family while he starts his new business.
What's the rent?
It's a lot more than I'd like to pay.
Well, alimony will cover that.
As it should. He owes you that.
f*cking monster.
He's not a monster.
He's the father of my children.
So your children are half monster.
You'll raise them human.
(THUDDING)
You know, Craig, if we pulled up this linoleum, we might find some beautiful old wide planking.
You pull this linoleum up, you're gonna find waterlogged plywood. That's about it.
I don't know, Craig. An old sweetheart like this?
I think she's got some nice surprises in store for us.
Like the rusted-out sewage main?
That was a nice surprise.
Who's writing the checks here, Craig?
(MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
All right, then.
So, Craig, what's new?
What's, uh... what's been going on?
Well, the new window sashes were supposed to arrive yesterday, but...
No, I mean with you. You know, what's going on with you personally?
Nothing, really. There's not a lot to report.
Lucky man, lucky man.
Count your blessings, lucky man.
Okay.
Okay. There you go. Put her there.
I'll see... I'll... yeah, okay.
All right.
Ah, man.
Yep.
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
You mind if I take a load off, amigos?
No problem, jefe.
Great.
(GRUNTS)
Yeah. Ah, no, thanks.
(CLEARS THROAT)
What's been going on with you guys lately?
No, not much. It's good.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Yeah. Enjoy it while it lasts.
That's my motto.
Workers: Mm. Mm-hmm.
You, uh... you married, Gabriel?
You know?
Oh, quieres?
Oh, no, no, no. I mean, uh, you know...
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
Oh, yeah. Pretty good.
Sí.
Me? Maybe, uh...
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
No, you know... no mas.
Workers: Oh.
To be married is difficult.
Especially when, you know, your wife, your esposa, you know, she's... making the f*ck with a... a French pendejo.
Oh, my God.
You know?
Workers: Oh.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
Sebastian: Mm-hmm?
He says if you want, he knows a guy who could get you a g*n.
A g*n? Oh, shit.
No, no, no, no.
No, but muchas gracias, Gabriel.
Muchas gracias.
Jefe.
Yeah.
Excuse me.
(DINGS)
f*ck! f*ck.
Shit.
Really?
(SIGHS)
Ugh.
(BLARING ON RADIO) ♪ Owner of a broken heart ♪
♪ Owner of a lonely heart ♪
♪ Say you don't wanna chance it ♪
♪ You've been hurt so before ♪
♪ Watch it now... ♪
(VOLUME INCREASES)
♪ The eagle in the sky ♪
♪ How he dancing one and only ♪
♪ You lose yourself... ♪
(PANTING)
(HANNAH WHIMPERING)
Oh, Lila, honey, not a good idea.
What are you doing?
I thought if maybe I washed Hannah's fur, then it wouldn't bother Daddy's allergies as much and then he would go back to sleeping in your guys's room and I could have my room back.
Oh, sweetie.
Ugh, what a drag.
Yep.
No, honey, it's not that I'm allergic to... to Hannah or to her fur.
It's the, uh... what's the shit that's airborne called?
Dander.
The dander.
I'm... I'm allergic to dog dander.
Let's go look it up on the Internet.
Yeah? That'll be cool.
We'll leave this to... you know, to her.
(WHIMPERS)
Ugh.
Barbara: Hi, how are you?
Hey, Barb.
Rob DuFresne, checking in.
Okay, you can have a seat.
(SIGHS)
Hi.
Hello.
(CHATTER, CHUCKLING)
(DOOR OPENS)
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACH)
Woman: Frances.
Robert.
This wasn't something I went looking for.
The situation arose and I made one wrong decision...
I've had plenty of opportunities to make one wrong decision.
Well, then maybe you're a better person than me.
Plenty of opportunities.
I'm not saying that, okay?
I'm just saying...
Wait, hold it. Like who?
Like who, what?
Like who did you have an opportunity to make a wrong decision with?
What, do you want a list?
Yeah.
I... I... how is this relevant to the discussion?
Is... is this relevant?
Okay.
Um, here's a good example.
There was one woman that I became friends with.
And eventually, we became very close.
As friends, as confidants.
Never physical.
Admittedly at one point, we discussed our feelings for one another.
She wanted to take it to the next step, but I was unwilling to do that.
I knew it was wrong.
I did not cross that line.
I honored my marriage vows.
So basically, you had an emotional affair.
It was not an affair because it was never physical, Frances.
So that doesn't count as betrayal?
That sounds... that sounds like an emotional affair.
What are you talking about?
It was an emotional affair.
And to me, that is just as hurtful as a physical one.
What is she talking about?
I think what she's trying to say is that intimacy is intimacy, whether it be physical or emotional, yeah?
What are you talking about?
Wait, wait, hang on, hang on.
You're talking about your old college buddy Kathy DeSantis, aren't you?
Okay, I don't see how naming names at this point has any bearing...
I knew it and that is f*cking infuriating.
Look, I didn't say it is or is not Kathy what's-her-name...
This was a woman that he talked to on the phone all the time and emailed, and she even went on a fishing trip with him.
Yeah, uh, it was a group trip.
Everybody was fishing.
Yeah, and when I got suspicious, because, yes, of course I got suspicious and jealous and everything because, you know, it just seemed weird, he convinced me that I had trust issues.
Because you did have trust issues.
To the point that I started seeing a therapist to find out what was so wrong with me that I was freaked out about my husband and his old platonic college buddy.
We were study buddies junior and senior year.
And I was right to be suspicious because he was having an emotional affair with her the whole time!
It was not an affair!
We didn't f*ck!
So what? So what?
You know what?
I want every single detail.
I mean, if I am gonna be able to move forward, I am gonna want every single detail of the emotional affair you had with Kathy DeSantis just like you wanted from me.
Okay.
First of all, you're right.
It was Kathy DeSantis.
I know.
We know.
But nothing happened, so what are we talking about?
Nothing physical.
That's right.
So what are we talking about it for?
So who broke it off?
It was mutual.
(SCOFFS) It's never mutual.
Okay, I was trying to be a gentleman.
I broke it off.
Well, I was on my way to break it off.
On your way where?
To her hotel.
Wow.
But this is exactly the point I'm trying to make.
Okay?
She was in the city on business.
She invited me to come to her hotel, which I... I knew what that meant because she'd never done it before.
Okay? And I realized at that point that I needed to just stop talking to her.
End of story.
How did she take it?
Was it a tearful farewell?
I don't know.
Were there hugs? Was there weeping?
No.
(SIGHS) Because there was an incident.
What kind of incident?
There was a very bad incident.
What?
9/11.
What do you mean... what?
9/11 happened, okay?
9/11.
(SIGHS) I mean, once I established that she was okay because her hotel was down in that area, I turned the car around and I came straight home.
What?
And that was it.
What?
When I asked you about the dust on your car, you told me that you had rushed down to Ground Zero to deliver water to the first responders.
I... I did do that.
I... I mean, I did that also.
Because I was already down in that area, okay?
Oh, f*ck it.
I didn't take any water to anybody, okay?
Because all the stores were closed!
It was chaos.
It was hard as shit to buy water.
I couldn't find a f*cking cash machine.
And I heard the banks were next.
So I was in harm's way.
Wow.
Wow!
Right?
Wow.
Un-f*cking-believable.
(MUSIC PLAYING)
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
(MUFFLED MUSIC BLARING)
(MUSIC STOPS)
(LASERS ZAPPING)
It's nice, right?
(SIGHS)
(GROANS)
f*ck.
Robert: So I'm like, "Excuse me, doesn't an affair mean it had to be physical?"
And they're like, "An emotional affair is just as hurtful."
Blah, blah, bliggity, bliggity, whatever.
It's just a mess, old buddy.
It's just a f*cking mess.
The worst part is I don't even have Frances to talk to about it.
I don't have anybody to talk to.
I mean, sure, I have my buddies at work, but my subordinates can't see their boss be weak.
I thought about getting a therapist, but if this ball-crusher of a marriage counselor is any indication, that's just money down the toidy.
I don't even believe in therapy...
Robert?
Nick!
Please shut up.
Come again, Nick?
Please shut the f*ck up. (CRIES)
Please?
Oh! Oh, oh.
I'm so sorry. Are you okay?
(GRUNTS) I'm okay.
Hello, sweetheart.
Oh!
I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!
I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to.
It's okay. It's okay.
I didn't mean to.
I know you didn't mean to.
Of course you didn't mean to.
I know. Shh.
Hey, Nick, you're still pretty out of it, so I think I should remind you Diane tried to sh**t us.
Robert.
Well, you know what?
There's been a conspiracy of silence surrounding both our marriages for a long time and I'm not gonna be a part of it.
Robert, it was an accident.
I never should've had a g*n in the house, especially not where this daffy broad could find it.
Holy shit.
No, I was just trying to scare you.
Well, you did.
You were being so hateful to me.
I know I was.
But I won't be.
Ever again.
Really?
That Nick is somebody neither one of us wants around anymore.
Jumping in here again there, buddy, 'cause I think you're really high.
Gotta remember Diane att*cked us with a handgun.
Robert, you are harshing my buzz.
Get me a Sprite.
I missed you so much.
This is tough to watch.
Hey.
Hey, Barb.
Barbara: Go right in.
Hi.
Hi.
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
So... (CLEARS THROAT)
Nick woke up.
Yeah, I know.
I saw him this morning.
He looked good.
Yeah, he's lost a lot of weight.
It's a hell of a way to lose weight.
Yeah.
So I'm gonna sign a lease for my gallery space on Main Street.
What?
Yeah.
It's pretty good.
I mean, you know, it needs to be fixed up a little bit, but...
I don't know, Frances. Really?
With everything that's going on, you really think that this is the time to open a store?
It's not a store. It's an art gallery.
Whatever it is, I think you should hold off for a few months because there are more important things that we should be thinking about.
Barbara: Right. All right. No, no, no...
(SIGHS)
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
Where are you going?
I think we're wasting our time with counseling.
So do I.
Then let's not do it.
Fine with me.
Barbara, can you tell Dr. Henderson that we're, um... we're done?
(DISTANT DOG BARKING)
(DOOR OPENS)
(DOOR CLOSES)
Hey.
I'm just gonna get going.
I guess I'll have my lawyer call your lawyer?
I don't have a lawyer.
Yeah, I don't have a lawyer either.
Well, isn't there a way to do this without lawyers?
I don't know. Is there?
I'll figure it out.
I can figure it out.
How are you gonna figure it out?
My computer.
Yeah, no, I'll figure it out. It's all right.
You've got a lot going on.
Not really, other than figuring out where I'm gonna sleep tonight.
Robert, I told you there's no reason why you can't stay here.
Frances, come on.
There's about a thousand reasons I can't stay here.
I'm sorry, Robert. I really am. I never meant...
Let's don't have a big emotional scene.
I... I can't take it.
I'm sorry.
It's okay.
Just remember something...
I always loved you.
And I loved you.
Good-bye, Frances.
Good-bye, Robert.
Good-bye.
Good-bye.
I really need to use the washroom and... and I gotta do it in a hurry.
I think you know what that means.
Yeah, go ahead.
Thanks.
Can you go upstairs first?
Oh, sure.
I don't want your last memory of me in this house to be, you know?
Yeah, no, I... I got it, Robert. Thank you.
All right. Thank you.
(SIGHS)
Frances.
I just wanted to say your name again.
(DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)
♪ Tonight, I'm gonna break away ♪
♪ Just you wait and see ♪
♪ I'll never be imprisoned ♪
♪ By a faded memory... ♪
(TOILET FLUSHES)
Robert: f*ck.
Oh, come on.
God damn it.
(PORCELAIN CLANKS)
(TOILET FLUSHES)
♪ It happens all the time ♪
♪ This crazy love of mine ♪
♪ Wraps around my heart ♪
♪ Refusin' to unwind ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
♪ Crazy love ♪
♪ Ah, ha ♪
♪ Tonight, I'm gonna break away ♪
♪ Just you wait and see ♪
♪ I'll never be imprisoned ♪
♪ By a faded memory ♪
♪ It happens all the time ♪
♪ This crazy love of mine ♪
♪ Wraps around my heart ♪
♪ Refusin' to unwind ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
♪ Crazy love ♪
♪ Ah, ha ♪
♪ Tonight, I'm gonna break away. ♪