06x07 - Snow White of Central Texas

[bunniefuu]

[birds squawking]

[pigs grunting]

[woman chuckles] Percy, back up.
You're about to take the whole fence down.

You're making me look bad, man.

My name is Jamie Wallace-Griner,

and I run Safe in Austin Rescue Ranch.

[woman] Gonna try not to cry,
'cause I am a crier.

If you feel it, let it out, honey.

It's… It's-- Thank you.

Um, Jamie's pretty special.

She has this enormous heart.
It's just enormous.

And we nominated her

because I want you guys
to kind of spoil her a little bit.

Because she just
gives and gives and gives.

[Jamie] Safe in Austin
is a non-profit rescue

for special-needs animals and children.

-Pinch here. It just comes out.
-[girl] Oh, my gosh.

-[Jamie] Feel that?
-[girl] Yes.

[Jamie] When you see
a blind child petting a blind pony,

it's like literal magic. [laughs]

There's something very calming about him.

-Right?
-[girl] Yes.

It helps with a lot of things
like anxiety and taking a breath.

Our official motto is,
"Rescue animals rescuing children."

But it's really for anyone.

There you go.

[tablet] My little piggies are hungry.

Your little piggies are hungry.
Yes, they are. Let's go feed 'em.

Let's go this way, handsome.

Any family or child or adult
that has a superpower of some sort.

Sometimes it's autism, selective mutism.

We invite them out
to heal next to our animals.

[Jamie] You do a good job, Chris.

We're a facility of sort of last resort.

Most of the time, when we get a call
from somebody about an animal,

it's either take it in
or have it put down.

[Jamie] We have 18 different species
and somewhere around 170 animals.

Come on, Penelope! Come on, baby.

I didn't plan on running a non-profit.
It just sort of accidentally happened.

We got it. Good girl.

[Karen] Jamie has such empathic abilities.
Sometimes a little too much.

-[laughs] Understatement, isn't it?
-Mm-hmm.

[Karen] She kept taking these animals
that no one else wanted,

and I'll be honest, I was kind of like,
"Jamie Marie, what are we doing?"

[Jamie] Then David came into my life,
and he's sort of game.

She accuses me of being
the crazy one about animals

because I have
a tough time turning them down.

[pig snorting]

That was the problem is that
neither one of us will say no to it.

[pig groans]

Our house is well-loved
and well-used. [laughs]

We do have at least three pot-bellied
pigs that sleep in the house at all times,

15 cats,
20 dogs that live here permanently.

There is no avoiding rescue.
It's just-- It's everywhere.

-Gabey!
-[barking]

-Come here, my love.
-[woman] Aww.

I think Texas needs to go
into the timeout. Come on.

I have three awesome kids.

In the beginning,
it was them cleaning everything,

feeding everybody,
helping me throughout the night.

We had to go around at eight o'clock
at night and feed all the animals.

I've done the most feeding, though.

-That's true, but--
-I had to feed the chickens and, like…

Chickens are easy.

At this point,
I'm trying to avoid them resenting me as--

[laughs] bringing in 50 bazillion animals
and people constantly.

Oh, oh, let's try not to drop
any puppies right now. Bad timing.

Thankfully, we have a good amount of
volunteers that help us handle the chores

so that their moments with the animals
can be not, like, a 24-hour job.

JoJo!

No, thank you. No, thank you.

No, thank you. I know.
I'm so sorry. Breakfast is coming.

It is 24/7. Yeah.

Okay. That's a good boy.

There's no way to have this many animals
and this much special needs

without somebody needing me at all times.

She never takes time for herself.
Like, ever.

-She doesn't have a chance to turn off?
-No, she really doesn't think about it.

She's torn in
so many different directions.

"I've gotta help the animals. I've gotta
help my kids. I gotta help everyone."

Sometimes I'm like, "If I could just…

you know, take a moment to not be sad

about people or animals
that are hurting or being ignored."

That's the hardest part.

[laughs] I think not being able
to not care for, like, a second.

[laughs]

But I know that I'm here for,
like, a reason,

and I would never step away from that,

but it's really hard.

[voice on tablet] I want to tell them
how you changed my life.

[laughing] That's very sweet, buddy. God.

[Karen] I wanna see her genuinely happy,

and I just want her to get a little bit
of what she gives to other people.

[Jonathan] Aww. That is so sweet.
No, don't apologize!

Out of curiosity, like,
where do you keep these 170 animals?

We don't really have the facilities
for as many animals as we have.

I have 60 special-needs
farm animals and no barn.

We don't have giant corporate sponsors.

We don't have big fancy board members,
any of that.

-She'll give a kidney to get a barn.
-[laughing]

Maybe we can do it
without her giving an organ.

-I would like that.
-[laughing]

'Cause I know some people,
and I think--

I think a barn could be in the cards.

[Karen] Jamie will--
she will lose her mind.

I'm gonna have to do some pre-work to it,
so she's gonna see some stuff going on.

You're gonna have to make up
some believable stories.

Well, I will for this. I will.

-Can I hug y'all?
-[Fab Five] Yeah!

[all laughing]

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

[theme music playing]

♪ All things just keep getting better ♪

♪ Oh! ♪

-[Antoni] Oh, we're here!
-We're here! We're q*eer! We're on a farm!

-[squawks]
-[whinnies]

-[snorts]
-[Jonathan] This place is so fun!

[Antoni] Hi!

-Oh, my God! I'm so excited!
-[all laughing]

We're so happy you are here!

-We're so happy to be here!
-Hi!

-Come follow us!
-[Bobby] All right, we'll follow you!

[bleats]

Jamie. Look who we have!

Hi!

-[sobbing]
-[Antoni] Oh, no. Look at the dogs.

[Jamie blubbers]

Hi, queen. Oh, my God,
I'm so excited to meet you.

This place is amazing!

-How are you, beautiful?
-[sobbing]

Are you okay, queen?

Oh, oh, come here, come here.

You are in nurture overload.

What are you feeling right now?

A lot. [chuckles]

You got so much nurture that you when
you even think about getting nurtured…

[hesitates] Is your
nervous system okay, queen?

I'm literally concerned.

Hi. [sobbing]

How are you, sweetheart?

-What's getting you so emotional?
-[sobs]

We need to give her some love.

[barking]

[Jamie] I can't believe y'all are here.

I'm very, um, grateful.

I mostly just wanna
show you all my sweet babies. [laughs]

-[Tan] Let's have a look around.
-Let's look at these puppers.

-[Jamie] Come on, Francis.
-[Bobby] Aww.

-Oh, baby, hi.
-[Jamie chuckles]

And then Ivy here
is one of my trauma babies.

Hi, Francis and Ivy.

[Jamie] Francis has a broken spine.

Petunia, come say hi, my love.

She has something
sort of similar to epilepsy in humans.

So, she has a permanent shake,

which would have got her euthanized
at any of the beef farms that she was at.

[Tan] She's beautiful.

-Oh, my God! Look at this little guy!
-Who's this?

[Jamie] Spencer's one
of my limb deformities.

-So his front leg--
-Oh! Sorry.

-[all laughing]
-Sorry.

Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[Jamie] Tan, they did
not give you a warning

about what was gonna go down here.

That's okay.
They're so beautiful it doesn't matter.

Little bundle. You're so cute.

[Jamie] Penelope is his sister,

and why Spencer wears a bell,
'cause she's 100% blind.

Aww, so she can follow him.

[Jamie] So she follows this bell around.

-[laughs]
-[emotional music playing]

[Antoni] No one can prepare you
for Safe in Austin.

These animals are so pure.

They haven't done
anything wrong to anybody.

And apparently I needed
to be healed by animals today,

because I am a complete emotional mess.

I have three awesome kids,
one of which has autism.

His name's Jackson.

Eight years ago, I brought home
a dog appropriately named Angel,

an, um, she healed parts of his heart
that even I couldn't get to as his mother,

and sort of inspired this whole concept

of what happens when you put
animals and children together,

but especially extra-needs
animals and children.

Do you just get emotional
every single day?

[Jamie] Uh, yeah, but…

you just can't imagine, when a kid
gets out here and meets them, it's magic.

And I know that I'm so lucky
to be able to experience that.

So I don't take it for granted,
and I can make it through all the hard,

because the magic is so freaking cool.

What an amazing story.

-Safe in Austin, yes.
-[Jamie chuckles]

Okay, so you really wanna see inside, huh?

-[Bobby] We do.
-[Antoni] Yeah.

Peter's mad that
people are invading in his nap time.

Oh, is that the pig?

There's pigs in the house!

-[Karamo] Oh. Oh!
-[Jonathan] Hi, Peter.

Hi, baby.

It's fierce. I'm just not used to it.

[Jamie] Hi, babies!

-Hello. Hi.
-[Jamie] Little people.

-James, Jovie, Jackson.
-[Tan] Can I stand next to you?

Nice to meet you all.

So nice to meet you all.

What do we think of Mom's farm?

-I think it's pretty neat.
-[Jonathan] It is, right?

[laughing]

[Jamie] So, this is Jackson,
who I was telling you about.

Angel came into his life
and sort of inspired this whole concept.

[Tan] Wow.

-[Jamie] Are you okay?
-[Jackson] Yes.

Hey, there's a lot going on.
A little overstimulated?

Would you like to grab my puppy?
She's an angel.

[laughs] Can you hold that, baby?

-Would you like to?
-Sure.

She really is an angel.

-[Jackson] Yes.
-Yeah.

She's got very warm.
I think it was my clammy hands. I'm sorry.

Would you tell us why you think
your mom is just the very best?

-[James] She's a little crazy.
-[Jackson] Yeah.

-[laughing]
-That's why she's the best.

-[laughing] Yeah!
-We love a crazy mom.

[Antoni] We like the crazy.

-It's a good crazy.
-We love a crazy mom.

What do you think
we can help your mom with?

-Fashion.
-[Jovie] She doesn't wash her hair.

-She doesn't.
-[Antoni] The truth comes out.

Okay, what else?
Who makes all the family dinners?

-DoorDash.
-[Tan] Oh!

Teenagers. [laughs]

Since we're in the kitchen,

I'd love to have a little moment with you,
if that's okay

-Fine?
-[Jonathan] We're gonna go puppy bond.

[Tan] Yeah.
We're gonna go find more puppies.

It was so nice meeting you all.

[Tan] Wow. Mommy loves her fringe.

[Jonathan] Oh.

[Antoni] Can we do a little snoop?

[Jamie] A little of everything. Oh. Hi.

Baking?

-Um, what--
-[Antoni laughs]

You seem… You seem surprised
to see all… all of this baking equipment.

You have a stand mixer.

No shortage of marshmallows. [laughs]

Yeah, I don't know what's
going on with that. Vegan and regular.

-Like everything.
-I've had these vegan ones. Really good.

Formula.

Formula for…

Oh, for the goats.

-[laughs] They're all on formula.
-I was like, you have babies here?

-I wouldn't even be surprised, frankly.
-[laughs]

Hey, baby.

[Jamie] Food is complicated in my world.

There's a lot of people
that don't understand,

um, because I rescue farm animals,

that I am not adamantly putting veganism

on anybody that comes to visit
and everybody out there.

Do you follow a plant-based diet
personally? Do you eat meat?

Jovie and I don't eat meat,
and then the boys waver back and forth.

-Okay.
-And then our guests have an option.

We have a vegan snack drawer
and a regular snack drawer.

And it's complicated,
because I suck at cooking anyway.

I do walk into a grocery store
and I'm like, "What the heck?"

I don't understand how people
look at all this and think,

"I can make this and this and this."

-You just get overwhelmed.
-Yeah.

-[Antoni] Yeah. Hello.
-[Jonathan] Hi.

-Oh, gosh. Oh, no.
-What?

-It was really nice talking to you.
-You too. Thank you for understanding.

-Let's go look at your bathroom.
-[Jamie] Okay.

I did find horse shampoo
in your shower and no others.

-Is it Mane 'N Tail shampoo?
-It is, but there's no other shampoo.

Oh.

That's like,
we've committed to that shampoo.

-[Antoni] It worked for me for ten years.
-[Jamie laughs]

I'll keep looking. You guys go.

[Jonathan] PS.
I'm obsessed with these tiles.

-Not that I'm like, Bobby design.
-[laughs]

You are beautiful. Can I see your hair?

Okay, yes, sure.

So I do think--

like, I love that you don't
overwash your hair. It's not good to do.

Okay.

Do you do your own color?

Yes.

-It's just this bluish, blackish thing.
-Right.

It's, like--
I let the 14-year-old pick it out.

-[Jonathan] Okay.
-[laughs]

No, I'm not mad at her at all.

So, what happens when you,
like, on a daily basis--

-I'm the worst morning person ever.
-Not a morning person?

-[Jamie] No.
-Okay.

I get up and then I go pee,
and then I put my hat on,

and then I go take care of my animals,
and that's, like, legitimately…

I just don't know about
all that adulting stuff.

Yeah. Your lashes stun.

Oh, yes. Thank you.

I barter for my lashes for my friend
that's been doing it for years.

-Yes.
-I babysit her dogs.

She's doing a really good job.
Your eyes are giving me pow.

Jamers, you're gorgeous.

You're doing the most,
but "rest" is not a bad four-letter word.

I do want to help you cultivate
some self-care, though.

It's the self-care that's lacking.

One thing I really was struck by,
just first meeting you

is that, like, I can just tell
that you're close to your edge.

I know.
I know I need, like, more self-care.

I wish I had, like…

-20,000 more hours in the day already.
-Totally.

And that doesn't make you any--
That just makes you a human.

[goats bleating]

Are you the king of the igloo? Yeah?

[imitates bleating]

I would love
to talk about your closet, please.

-Okay.
-Um, first off, I can't get in.

-[Jamie] Well, I call it my "cloffice."
-Uh-huh.

And it's because I sit in my giant
bean bag chair and cry or post.

-It's like my runaway place. [laughs]
-[sobs] Oh! Jamie, no!

Let's clear out your sad sack.

-[Jamie laughs] My sad sack!
-Clear out the sad sack.

How incredibly sad that she goes to
kind of escape and shut off from the world

in this depressing space
where these clothes

have not seen the light of day
in many, many, many, many years.

Okay.

You've got the look on your face
like a naughty schoolgirl.

-[Jamie] It's just decoration, really.
-It's a lot.

[Jamie] I don't really wear any of this.

-[Jamie] I wear yoga pants and shorts.
-Okay.

And I don't know that
I could fit into most of these clothes.

I assume you were, like, a girly girl.

Not only the heels, but you've
got dresses. You've got very girly stuff.

Was this ever you?

Yeah, yeah, I mean,
I used to have really good legs.

I was a dancer before
the whole kid-and-animal concept.

Now, I go to Tractor Supply and Target
sometimes, and that's really about it.

[Tan] Her everyday life is Safe in Austin.

She just needs a break.

Maybe let's change
the way we use this closet.

No more the crying closet.
Let's make it a joyful closet.

[Bobby] Come on, babe. Aww. Yeah.

Yeah, are you a pretty baby?

All right, here's where the fun starts.

Bumpy, bumpy, bumpy.

-This is why it's worth it.
-Look at that. Oh, my gosh.

[Jamie] I say, "Welcome to my church."

How often do you get to find time
for yourself? To do stuff like this?

-[laughs] That's not really a thing.
-That means no.

Why is that not a thing?

There is never a moment
in any part of any day, day or night,

that there isn't someone that could
use my help, animal or human.

[Karamo] Yeah.

Ever.

Yeah.

I take in the ones
that nobody else wants to,

so that involves commitment,
and I'm okay with that, but…

Um…

-But that just means a 24-hour deal.
-Yeah.

You're coming across people every day
that have challenges in their life

that in your mind are like,
"That's a real challenge."

And so what we start to do is we start

to minimize our experiences
and our challenges.

You deserve more.

Because burnout in
these type of positions is real.

Well, I'm really tough. I can take it.

[laughs]

That right there,
that's the mindset that has to change.

I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't know that,
because I preach it all the time.

I just don't know
what it looks like for me.

-That makes sense.
-[shudders]

And I'm afraid to let anybody down.

[sighs] I need help.

That makes sense.

[Jamie] Come meet my big girls.

-I love pigs. They have the best souls.
-They're so smart.

-So smart, so kind.
-They're so smart.

What has been probably one of
the most trying times you've had here?

-The weather has been insanely ridiculous.
-Right.

We had this crazy ice apocalypse,

and then it's been raining
like we live in…

-Like crazy.
-…Seattle or something.

We do everything one, you know,
donated fence panel at a time.

-So, we have to get creative, but…
-[laughs]

There's a whole gamut of things that we're
just sort of making up as we go along.

This… This year, we're…
we're calling it "The Year of The Barn."

Okay, the Year of The Barn.

It's kind of an ongoing joke that I have
60 special-needs farm animals and no barn.

But that's, like, a someday.

-A big dream. [laughs]
-A someday.

-Oh, my gosh.
-During the freeze, what was that like?

I heard there was
some horses in the house.

It was terrifying,

because every animal here comes
from a place that was scary or sad.

I brought them here, and I promised them
that they were safe from now on.

And so, when things happen
and I'm seeing icicles all over them,

and I know that
they're uncomfortable, and it's scary,

and that feels like
I'm breaking a promise.

Did you lose anybody?

We did lose a couple, I believe,

to sort of the stress
of the whole thing. Yeah.

They're just trying
to make it through every day,

learning as they go,
with 170-plus animals.

I hope that Jamie sees this farm as
something that she literally manifested.

You've got this new slab over here.

-I hear you got this donated recently?
-Mm-hmm.

You come to me.

-Come to Daddy Karamo.
-[Karamo] You come to me.

-Hi, dear.
-Hi, dear.

[Bobby] So, I hear that you guys had
a nice anonymous donor

that poured you a slab
for the Year of The Barn.

-[laughs]
-It wasn't an anonymous donor.

The Year of The Barn is today.

-[Jonathan] It's happening!
-[Antoni] Yay!

-[Karen shouts]
-[scattered laughter]

I would think that makes a lot more sense.

[all laughing]

You know, you were
talking earlier about how it k*lled you

that when that freeze came,

you felt like you couldn't
keep your promise to those animals

that you would never let
anything bad happen again.

And now we're gonna give you
the power to keep that promise. So…

The Year of The Barn is now!

[all cheering]

-[Antoni] Group hug!
-[Jamie] Get in here!

[rock music playing]

♪ Working my fingers down
To the bone ♪

♪ I've been building my kingdom up
On my own ♪

♪ Got a destiny, baby
And it's set in stone ♪

♪ Look at me now
Look at me now, huh! ♪

[Karamo] Jamie thinks
that this is all on her,

which is pressure that
she shouldn't be putting on herself.

I want, for one moment, for her
not to feel that weight on her shoulders,

so she can remember, you're not alone.

[Jonathan] Safe in Austin is
a gorgeous sanctuary for animals, honey,

but I need to know,
where is Jamie's sanctuary for herself?

I just want Jamie to remember
that she's a multifaceted person.

You can do all sorts of things that
bring you happy and still be of service.

It is okay to be both and.

[Tan] Jamie's closet,
it's a shrine to former Jamie.

It just feels sad.

I'm going to come up with whatever I can
to make her feel her very best

and have a moment of happiness.

[Antoni] With Jamie,
I think it's incredibly important

to take her away from the farm
just for a couple of days,

with her knowing that she has the support

of everybody taking care of things
while she's gone.

Oh, my gosh. This is fun.

[Antoni] Miraval is a perfect space
where she can actually rest.

I don't think I've met anybody in my life

who needed actual rest more than Jamie.

Big dreams require big actions,
and we are about to go big with Jamie.

It's definitely gonna be
larger than I had even realized.

[Bobby] Look at this.

It's gonna be incredible.

-[Bobby] Six horse stalls.
-Yeah.

[Bobby] She's pulled in so many
different directions on the farm.

So, we worked with Bettr Homes
to come up with a design

to centralize everything
that she needs to get done

and free up a lot of time
to take care of herself.

-[pop music playing]
-♪ We're off to a winning start ♪

♪ I know you got a lion's heart ♪

♪ Time to hold your head up high ♪

♪ Hey, lion heart
Feeling quite so strong ♪

♪ Hey, lion heart
b*ating like a bass drum ♪

Hi, babies.

-[Karamo] They're beautiful.
-[Jamie] So pretty.

[Karamo] Hi, Leigh.

-Hi.
-[Jamie] Hi.

[Karamo] This is Jamie.

-Hi. Welcome, Jamie.
-Thank you.

Jamie works with animals.

So, she knows this process.
We're just flipping the script on her.

-The teacher is now the student.
-[Leigh] Yeah.

Jamie understands the value
of bringing kids to her farm

so that they can heal with the animals.

I want this to be a process
where you two are connecting

and the animals are connecting.

My hope is
that through this equine therapy

she can start
to heal through animals herself.

[Leigh] So, you have horses too?

We do, yeah, seven.

[Leigh] Your understanding of horses,
how they're used for therapy…

-Have you had experience with that?
-Yes, yes.

I invite children out
to be with the animals

and find that healing
that we all know animals can provide.

-Now, I have 173 rescue animals.
-Oh, my.

[chuckles] And I take care of
a lot of people and animals,

and… and I'm not doing
the best at remembering…

me, I guess.

We like to talk about paying attention
with not just our eyes,

but with our whole heart.

So, it definitely feels like I'm…

You know, I'm on all the time.

[Leigh] Yeah.

So today, we'd like
to give you the opportunity

to learn to make a request.

So horses don't speak English.
They speak energy.

Well, you know that
from what you do, right?

And I really want you to feel
into your body any sensations, images,

thoughts, feelings
and just really feel yourself.

So this is Graham.

-Oh, you got a horse hug already there.
-Hi. Thank you.

-Thank you, bud.
-Got the horse whisperer here.

[Jamie] I think him and I are going
in the round pen together.

[laughs]

Wanna go hang out for a minute?

-[folk rock playing]
-♪ They reminded me of home ♪

♪ A place inside that… ♪

[clucking]

Hi.

There we go. Thank you. Hi.

Hi. Can I get a snuggle?

[Leigh] What's coming up for you?

I need to remember to take time with them.

-Just me.
-Hmm.

I don't have much calm in my life.

Sometimes we forget how to just be,
right, because we're so busy.

Maybe you can find a way
to bring that back in.

Would you like to try to ask him
to walk around the circle outside of you?

It's good practice, right? To see,
"How does it feel when I make a request?"

[Jamie] Sure. I'd be interested for sure.

[Leigh] So, ask him to go.

-You gotta go that way.
-[laughing]

[horse trills]

Okay. Go ahead. Go on.

Go ahead. It's okay.

-You didn't like that all, did you? No.
-No. [laughing]

I had a feeling
that would be what would happen.

So, the detachment piece
is feeling hard for you.

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

Why would I wanna send him away?

But he's still connected to you.
It's just a little bit of distance

so that Jamie can have her spot
in the middle of the arena

where maybe she has time for herself.

Yeah. Okay, buddy.

-We can do this.
-I know you can do it.

[chuckles] Let's go. Go ahead.

It's okay.

-Good boy.
-[Leigh] Oh, my gosh.

[Jamie] Good boy.

Okay… [clicks tongue]

-Go on. Go on. Good boy.
-There you go, beautiful. Beautiful.

[clicks tongue] You go ahead. Go ahead.

-[Leigh] Beautiful. So, something shifted.
-[gasps]

[Leigh] That's something to just think on.

Where in my life do I need
to let people detach a little bit

so that I can be alone in the round pen?

Yeah, I understand
that one completely. [chuckles]

Well, that felt really good.

[Karamo] Jamie spends all of her time

making sure everyone else
around her is healed and happy.

But she's not taking time to make sure
that she's healed and happy.

You seem very calm.

Yeah, this place is very calming.

[laughing]

This area is making me feel
a little more at home,

which is kind of a little bit nice too.

-Oh, good. Like being around the horses?
-I can hear the chickens.

-Good.
-You know.

Well, I'm glad.
When I met you, you weren't calm.

[both laughing]

So, what do you think is different about
this environment and your environment?

Uh…

-I'm not responsible for everything here.
-Nothing.

-No, nothing. Nothing.
-[laughing]

-Okay.
-Nothing. You're what's different.

It's that you're taking
a moment to be calm.

You're taking a moment to be centered.

Tell me how many people
that you have volunteer on a daily.

How many people wanna come
and, like, support you and help you?

A lot.

A lot of people. And that's what I mean.

It's never to take away
from the work you're doing.

That work is powerful and impactful

and part of your purpose
here on this Earth.

But what also is
your purpose on this Earth

is to take care and love yourself.

Okay, I hear that.

When I walk into Safe in Austin,
people are working hard, very clear.

So, you can be at Safe in Austin
and be like, "You know what?"

"Y'all got this. I'm gonna take a break."

A hundred percent. Yeah.

[exhales]

I love when you take deep breaths.
It's really good.

[chuckles] I know.
Me too. I felt that one.

[Karamo laughs] That's really good. I love
when you take deep breaths. I really do.

[hip-hop music playing]

♪ Dry your eyes for me… ♪

[Antoni] It is so peaceful here.

[Jamie] Crazy quiet.

[Antoni] I know.

[Jamie] It's so weird to me.
I don't have any quiet ever.

-[Antoni] Right.
-[Jamie] Ever.

-[Antoni] Are you ready?
-Are you ready? [laughs]

I'm pretending to be
a cooker person today?

-Pretending to be a cooker person.
-[laughs]

When someone tells me
that they're not a "cooker person,"

that's pretty much
all the information I need to know

that I need to get them
into a kitchen ASAP.

Wait. So, when's
the last time you actually,

like, were in the kitchen and,
like, prepared a meal from scratch?

Trick question? [laughing]

No, honest question.

-Not here to shame.
-I have no concept.

You don't remember.

From scratch? Um…

-Maybe never. [laughs]
-Maybe never? Really? Okay.

-No, but that's good to note.
-Yeah.

Plant-based seems to be
the direction everyone is either

headed towards or people are
already at basically at home, right?

Today, we're gonna braise
some cauliflower steaks.

-Oh, fun.
-How does that sound?

That sounds super fun.

I buy cauliflower all the time.

How do you prepare it?

I throw it on the ground really hard
so the rabbits and tortoises can eat it.

Oh, got it. So, this is not
a rabbit and tortoise-friendly recipe.

[Jamie] Got it.

But if you remove the spices,
maybe you can prepare it for them as well.

Okay, we have all of these, like,

fibrous stems
along the outside of the cauliflower.

Tear those away,

but I wanna leave these
beautiful leaves that are clinging to it.

Perfect. We are gonna be
slicing this into two steaks.

Slice down right in the middle.

Great. So, these are perfectly intact,

and we have these beautiful steaks
that look like these gorgeous trees.

Yeah, that's crazy cool.

-Pretty little trees.
-They are pretty little trees.

We love climbing trees.

I don't think
I've ever climbed a tree before.

Shut up! Oh, my gosh, Antoni--

-I was a city boy.
-We have to go find a tree to climb.

I want to be in a tree with you
for the first time. Please.

Wait. What's so magical
about being in a tree?

I… I can't explain it to you until
we get into a tree. Then you'll know.

-We gotta get into a tree ASAP.
-[both laughing]

[Antoni] We're gonna coat it in turmeric
and a lot of olive oil.

Fresh cracked pepper, a bit of salt…

Just roll it around.

I know this is already more technical

than just throwing the cauliflower
against the ground.

[laughs] Just a little.
I can handle this though.

-[Antoni] I think you can.
-I got it.

If your hands get a little messy,
it's totally fine.

That's what a sink is for.

I'm very much not afraid of getting messy.

-[laughs] That does not bother me at all.
-That's true, actually.

-Beautiful.
-Okay, good?

[Antoni] So, our oil's nice and hot.

-Place your cauliflower right in there.
-[sizzling]

And it starts to sizzle immediately.
That's exactly the sound that we want.

You can flip it. See how it's doing.

Oh, beautiful. Okay,
you're ready to turn yours over.

For someone who's actually
never prepared a meal for herself,

I feel like Jamie is
super adept in the kitchen.

She just hasn't made it a priority
in her life, which I totally understand.

-Look at that! That is perfection.
-Wow.

Here, I have vegetable stock. So, this
is actually gonna be our braising liquid.

-Gonna get quieter after this, I promise.
-[laughs]

[Antoni] This is the loudest part.

And we're ready to put these in the oven.
The hard part is done.

[Jamie] Okay.

We're gonna move onto our vinaigrette.
We're gonna start out with…

-Cilantro.
-Yeah! Do you like cilantro?

-[Jamie] Mm-hmm.
-Roll it up like this.

Hold it nice and firm, and then
with the blade of your Kn*fe…

There's no rush. Excellent.

So, this is, like,
the first time you've been able

to, like, take a little b*at in a while.

-How does it feel?
-Weird.

Weird? I'm glad
you're being honest with me

and you're not just saying,
"It's amazing."

-I'm totally adjusted.
-But what's weird about it?

It's just different.

-Do you miss the animals?
-Yeah.

And the kids and the people,
and I worry if anyone's needing me, but…

You're worried if they're needing you?

[laughs] Well, I mean, yeah, a little bit.

But it must be hard to, like,
wanna be like that for everybody though.

-You're only one person.
-[laughs] I know.

Anybody who's so determined
and so passionate about what they do,

pretty often,
other things start to get neglected.

-We have our cilantro stems in here.
-Mm-hmm.

[both] Lime.

[Antoni] Even if she does
something like this every few months,

whatever is realistic,

it's a moment
that she can have for herself,

and even just her
and her husband or her kids.

It's another way of showing your love.

Now, gochujang.

-So, gochujang is a Korean chili paste.
-Okay.

Pour in a bit of maple syrup
for sweetness and then you whisk it up.

I just, like, go in with my pinky.

Yum.

Limey, acidic sweetness
from the maple syrup,

spice from the gochujang, salt.
How does that feel?

Oh, my gosh.

I feel like a cooker person.
I can literally taste all those things.

I've never heard anybody explain that
and then actually taste the sweet.

[Antoni] Isn't it nice?

When you get all of that in your mouth
at the same time, it's really lovely.

Yeah, it really is. That's awesome.

[Antoni] I'm gonna take our steaks out.

-Gently, slowly.
-[Jamie] Stay strong, little guy.

Oh, my gosh, you even give vegetables
words of encouragement.

[Jamie laughs]

Okay, I'm excited.

So yummy.

-It's nice. Isn't it?
-Really good.

Thank you for showing me
how to cook tiny, little, pretty trees.

Of course. I'm gonna
rename this the Tiny, Pretty Tree.

[laughs] This was so fun and so yummy.

-[alternative music playing]
-♪ It feels like a dream ♪

♪ Oh-oh! Feels like a dream… ♪

This is by far, the biggest thing
we have ever done on q*eer Eye.

We're building a whole freakin' barn.

Bettr Homes used their SI panels,
which fit together like Legos.

They use 75% less lumber
than traditional building.

They are self-insulating.

I didn't wanna just throw up
a big, tin barn for Jamie.

I wanted to build her a barn
that was both energy efficient

and insulated really well.

It's just an amazing, cool product

that's going to allow us to build
this barn quick, easy and green.

["Something Better" playing]

♪ There's something better
Something better ♪

♪ Something better than this ♪

♪ I'm getting closer, moving forward
And it feels like it fits ♪

Let me get the door for you, queen.

-Thank you.
-God, I almost just sprained my ankle.

-[both laugh]
-It's fine. Everything's fine.

-Take a seat.
-Okay.

Welcome.

Look at this light. Look at you.

Let's talk about your hair.

[Jamie] Mm-hmm.

Because it's a teeny,
teeny, teeny, tiny bit harsh.

And while it is giving me
this, like, fierce Cher moment,

you strike me as,
like, a more natural person.

It's like, I hit 40.

-They started coming with a vengeance.
-All these grays came.

I also feel like it is accidentally
kind of high maintenance,

because when it's as dark as it is,

it highlights the silver even more.

It's nicer to be lighter and closer
to what more of your natural color is

just for maintenance purposes.

-You know?
-Right, here's the deal.

I know that I'm focusing in on myself,

and all of y'all
are helping me do that, right?

And I am, but here's the other thing.

I have a lot, and by "a lot" I mean a lot,
a lot of people in my world

that would have a hard time
with me going from zero to 100,

because I'm a safe zone that
suddenly doesn't look the same, right?

-[Jonathan] Uh.
-We could take some steps that direction.

-Yes, yes!
-I'm sorry.

-Why do you need to apologize?
-I wanted to give you the big wow.

[Jonathan] You don't need
to give me the big wow.

-You don't need to give it to me.
-Okay.

-I understand, for so many reasons, why.
-Yeah.

I mean, honestly, let's keep it dark.
We'll do your roots.

-We'll keep it longer around your face.
-Okay.

-That sound good?
-Yes.

Jamie is someone that is
so full of love, so full of compassion,

except for when it comes to herself.

Gorgeous.

Stunting.

[Jamie] Just in case
I don't say it enough later,

I love you a lot
and thank you for doing this for me.

[Jonathan] Oh, my God. Love you too.

She is constantly giving to others,

and I want her to feel
as beautiful as she is.

♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh, hey! ♪

What was your, like, favorite thing
to do when you were growing up?

Dance class.

-[Jonathan] Dance class was?
-[Jamie] Pretty much all I did.

Do you ever miss it as an adult?

Um, yeah, a little bit.

What about going to, like, an adult
dance class, like, once every other week?

Something that's, like, purely
just 'cause it makes you feel good.

Would you look forward to that,

or would it feel
like getting teeth pulled?

Oh, it definitely wouldn't feel like
getting my teeth pulled.

'Cause when it comes to, like,
ice skating for me or, like, gymnastics,

-I literally look forward to it so much.
-Right.

And when I have to show up
for other people,

I can't be the advocate
that I wanna be,

I can't, like, be the strong source
of love and compassion that I wanna be

if I don't do anything
to, like, look forward to for myself.

I just-- I look at the spirit that
you have, the energy that you have,

and I just want you
to make time for your inner child.

You have, like, a really jubilant,
like, buoyant spirit in there

that needs to be fed.

[laughs] Yeah.

I really, really, want that for you.
Just sidebar.

Okay.

Is, like, a once-a-month adult dance class
in Austin out of the question?

No, no, of course not.

Everyone deserves to celebrate
all the different things that we love,

and that makes us even better people.

Yes, she loves being of service
to her community,

but she's also allowed to love herself.

I do hope that
from this little bit of time

that we have gotten to spend together,

that you take from it that you are allowed
to take time for yourself. It's healthy.

Our personal care,
self-care t*nk was on fumes.

We wanna try not
to let it get below the eighth.

'Cause then the whole thing… [splutters]

I don't really know about cars and gas.

But I know you're not
supposed to let your self-care t*nk

get below, like, eighth of t*nk.

I want you to know that
that's not selfish.

It's beautiful,
but not as beautiful as you.

Which you're gonna see in three, two, one.

[laughs]

[sobbing] You already knew
I was gonna cry.

Oh, it looks really good. [sniffles]

Do you love?
Look at how beautiful you look.

Oh, I love you so much.
You can get all up in it and look.

-[laughs]
-Yes. [gasps]

-Have you ever had a cut like this?
-No.

The hay's just gonna flow right out of it.

Yes, there won't be any hay
or any sh*t stuck in those ends.

Not on our watch.

[pop music playing]

♪ So put some rhythm when you're feeling
Till you're moving your feet ♪

♪ Now put your hands up to the ceiling
And get down on the… ♪

Right now, there isn't
a Jamie outside of Safe in Austin.

[laughing]

I need her to understand
the importance of taking a moment

to be able to let her hair down
and feel good about herself.

I wanna try and find options for you
to feel like the dancer girl again.

Would you like to feel that way again?

-I would. I would. Yeah.
-Okay, great.

I've already pulled some things for you.

We're going glitz.

-Wow.
-[laughs] I know.

Can I see what you've got on, please?

-Ooh-la!
-[chuckles]

[Tan] Can you turn around
so I can see that ass?

-[Jamie] Sure. [laughs]
-'Cause it looks so good!

Body looks bangin'! So good.

[Jamie] I like it.

I like sparkles. I feel cozy in jeans.

Also, I really missed heels, I think.

I love you in a heel.

I know, I missed them, I think.

Feels good to be back in some.

She looks gorgeous,

and more importantly,
you can tell she's really having fun.

Can you give me
just a little bit of a move?

[laughs] A move?

Normally, I ask people
to give me a runway walk.

-[Jamie] You want me to be a ballerina?
-Just for a second. Little twirly thing.

Pirouette in my heels.

-Yeah.
-Oh, my gosh.

-[Tan] Feel good?
-Yeah.

We're gonna make you feel even better.

Can I please see your outfit?

[laughing]

Ta-da!

-I love it so much!
-[laughing]

I know it's a lot of leg.

[Jamie] It's not like I haven't been
in a crap ton of sequins in my life.

[laughing]

I promise I'm not gonna
fill your closet with sparkle.

The rest of your closet is so toned down.
This one is extra.

I wanted you to feel fun again.
I want you to feel joy for a moment.

This is very fun.

You do so many amazing things.
Just a moment of happiness for yourself.

I know you well enough now to know
you're gonna go back to sit in your closet

to do a bit of work every now and then.

If all you do is pop this on,
just for yourself,

and type away at your damn laptop,
I don't care.

I just want you to put this on and just

feel the happiness
you seem to be conveying right now.

I can do that.

Yes, power stance.

Even if she just takes a stolen moment
in her closet every now and then

and feels special again,

that's good enough for now.

-Oh!
-[laughs]

[Tan] Gorgeous.
All right, get back in there.

-You're silly.
-Thank you so much.

-[soft rock music playing playing]
-♪ Carry you home and back to the fold ♪

♪ Sing you to sleep
While you laugh on the side ♪

[upbeat pop music playing]

♪ I'm dreaming ♪

♪ In real life
You're something I could get used to ♪

♪ I-I could get used to ♪

♪ Angels falling, my heart keeps… ♪

And she's super chill.

♪ Angels falling
My heart keeps on calling ♪

♪ Heart keeps on
Calling you-whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo! ♪

[Bobby] So, Jamie,
how do you feel about surprises?

-I--
-[laughing]

-Feels like a trick question.
-[laughs]

Getting suspicious.
It's getting suspicious.

♪ Don't be suspicious
Don't be suspicious ♪

♪ Don't be suspicious
Don't be suspicious ♪

You probably don't spend a lot of time
on TikTok, do you?

-Uh…
-[laughs]

We are hooking Jamie up.

-We're giving her five minutes…
-To shop like crazy.

Like, Supermarket Sweeps,
q*eer Eye edition.

Wow!

Ready, set…

-Go!
-[Jamie laughs, shouts]

[Bobby] Grab. Just grab. Just grab.
Toys, toys.

Helping and supporting
these animals can be expensive.

So, go wild in this Petco and spend!

[woman] Anything that you need.

These are for the goats
and the pigs and the horses.

-I don't know these, but they're great.
-[Karamo] I'm gonna drop this off.

-What now?
-[Karamo] Here's the next one.

[Jamie] Take a bird, Karamo!

-[shouts, laughs]
-[Karamo] Take a bird!

-[Bobby] Two and a half minutes!
-Oh, my God. Look at the bow tie!

-[laughing]
-[Karamo] I'll race you.

[Jamie laughing] Where are the carts?

[shouts]

[Karamo] I've always wanted
to do this in a store.

-[laughing]
-I've always wanted to do it!

-Wait, but, Jamie, 60 seconds!
-[shouts]

-Grab this.
-Got it. Yeah.

-Teamwork makes the dream work.
-[Bobby] Ten!

-[man] Come in here.
-[Bobby] Nine!

-Eight! What's this? Oh! Seven! Oh! Six!
-[Jamie laughing] Where's the other cart?

-[Bobby] Five! Four! Three! Two! One!
-[Jamie laughing, shouting]

Oh, my gosh!

-Ha ha!
-[all] We did it!

-[Jamie] Holy macaroni.
-[Bobby] Good job, Roy.

-Feel like you have some good stuff?
-That's insane.

-[all laughing]
-Yeah.

♪ I'm the one
That everybody talking about ♪

♪ I hear it all across the land ♪

♪ I part the seas
Break down those walls ♪

♪ Rise in the east, I'm the original ♪

First of all, you are beautiful.

-I can't take it. Look at you.
-Mm-hmm.

I'm gonna teach you
how to dry-style your hair.

I got some tools
that I wanna show you how to use.

-Does that sound gorgeous?
-Yes.

So, I'm gonna take out
your gorgeous, new haircut.

This is a Brush Crush.
You ever seen one of these?

-[Jamie] I have not.
-You don't use this on wet hair.

-[Jamie] Okay.
-Only for dry hair.

The trick with this is
that you don't move it too quick.

-Isn't that cool?
-Mm-hmm.

Okay now, I'm just gonna
bump in some waves on this part.

Give it kind of, like, a cool texture.

What do think, like,
will be the biggest thing for you

that would change
on a day-to-day basis having, like,

a gorgeous, functioning barn?

[Jamie] Feeding will be huge.

It's definitely gonna be more efficient.

[Jonathan] Think it might give you
a little more time for yourself sometimes?

-[laughs] Yes. I mean, I'm assuming yes.
-Yes.

I love this style on you.

Really great haircut.

♪ I love myself… ♪

Yes, put this lip on.

♪ I love myself… ♪

[Tan] Okay, Miss Jamie, come on out!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my gosh. You look gorgeous!

I wanted a little bit of country.
I wanted it to feel still Texas.

I am getting
a "Cowboy, take me away" vibe.

[Tan] You look very chic.
How do you feel in it?

[Jamie] I feel fun.

-Do you wanna go see the barn?
-Oh, my gosh. So bad.

[Jonathan] It's time.

-Shall we go?
-[laughing]

-Are you okay?
-I wanna see a barn!

Show me a barn!

-[Jonathan] Are you gonna pass out?
-I need a hug. I think I need a hug.

-[Jonathan] Okay, sweetie.
-Let's go see the barn!

[Tan] Let's go see the barn!

-[pop rock music playing]
-[vocalizing]

Hello. Hello.

[Jonathan] Oh, it's happening.

-[Tan] It's coming. Do not barf.
-[Jonathan] It's happening.

If you need to barf, tell me,
and we'll open the window. [chuckles]

Oh, my God.

-[Antoni] She's coming.
-[Karamo] You all ready?

-[mouths] Oh, sh*t! Oh, my God!
-[muffled laughing]

[Jonathan] Okay, queen. Here, I got you.

-[exhales]
-[Karamo] Wow. She looks stunning.

-Hold my hand, squeeze tight.
-Okay, yeah.

-Three, two, one.
-Two, one.

[all] Welcome home!

[laughs] Oh, my God!

[all cheering]

-Oh, my gosh. It's beautiful. [sobs]
-[chuckling]

[Karamo] Hi, baby!

-You look beautiful.
-Good job.

-Thank you, honey.
-Thank you.

-[laughing]
-[Jamie sobbing]

Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, everybody. Hi.

-[Bobby] You ready to come inside?
-Oh, my gosh!

Oh, my gosh.

-Oh, my word.
-[Bobby] The man who helped pull it off.

Hi, baby.

[Bobby] All the babies are already inside…

-Oh, my God, it's gorgeous.
-Waiting for mama.

[Jamie] Hi, honey.

Let me see.

Oh, hi, guys!

Hi, Starla!

Oh, my God, it's just
the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

-Oh, look!
-[all laughing]

[Jamie sobs] It's Angel.

-Are you okay, honey?
-Yep.

[Jamie crying]

Oh, my God. It's beautiful.

Oh, my word. It's just…

It's amazing.

[Bobby] Come on in.

-[Jamie sighs]
-[Bobby] We've got Mable and Louie.

They did not wanna go in at first,
but now they don't wanna leave.

-[both laughing]
-Yeah, that's not surprising.

[Bobby] We've got bathrooms.
We've got a medic area.

[Jamie] Million-dollar thoroughbreds
should be in here.

No.

Or the rescues that
desperately need your help.

-Let's party! Whoo!
-[all cheering]

♪ Lifting up our weight, we're rising up ♪

♪ Gotta rise on up with grace ♪

[vocalizing]

Hi.

-Did you see your girl over there?
-[Jackson] Oh, yeah.

That's pretty cool, huh?

[Bobby] I see your brain already working

with everything
that's gonna be going on in here.

[laughs] The numbers of kids that
I can get in here at one time and just--

It's… It's phenomenal. I can't--

My head is spinning
with things that we can do.

-Hi, Delilah. Ridiculous. Oh. [scoffs]
-[Bobby] You need mama.

You need mama. Yes, you're so pretty.

[Jamie] Holy cow.

-[Karamo] What a day, right? What a week.
-Week, yeah.

What are you feeling?

It's just the most beautiful thing
I've ever seen in my life.

-[laughs]
-Oh, my gosh.

It's an important time for you.

Because you've done this.
You're the reason for all of this.

This is all because of you.
You deserve to take care of yourself.

Yeah, I do.

I'm so grateful.

[laughs]

-You got it.
-Aww.

-[Antoni] Is there a technique to it?
-[Jamie] Just don't fall down.

[Antoni exhales]

-I'm in a tree. Oh, my gosh.
-You're in a tree. [laughs]

-[Antoni] It is beautiful from up here.
-[laughing]

Can you see anything? Kind of.
You can see a pretty barn.

-[Antoni] We can see the sun.
-[laughing]

-Here's my promise to you.
-Okay.

Every hike that I take
with my partner and my dog,

I'm always gonna find a tree,
and I'm gonna think of you.

-That's my pinky promise.
-Aww, I love that. [chuckles]

I've really never met anybody like you.

And I felt that, like,
the moment that I came here,

and every single person that I speak to…

tells me you gave them purpose.

And that is the most unbelievable thing
that you can do for somebody else.

Just by being you

and by creating a safe environment
where they can feel loved

and protected and taken care of.

So, just keep doing it.

I will. I promise.

-In that beautiful thing. [laughs]
-In that beautiful thing.

[Jamie] Can't even believe it.

[Antoni] How in the hell are we
supposed to get off of this?

-[indistinct chatter]
-[Tan] You should do like you! Real cute.

-[laughing]
-[chattering]

Thank you so, so much.
I'm so sad you're leaving. [laughs]

We're not gonna be far.

-[Jonathan] I live here.
-[Bobby] Not walking out forever.

-[Karen] Can I hug you?
-[Bobby] Of course!

[laughing]

-I love you.
-Group hug!

-[cheering]
-Thank you so much.

[Jamie] I love you.

This poor woman was exhausted
when we came around.

It's funny. Sometimes the most giving
people forget to give to themselves.

But in reality, we know that
we need to take time for ourselves

in order to keep giving to others.

[laughs] Ooh, yeah. Ooh, yeah!

She has an amazing support structure
that she really needs to tap into

and allow them to help her more.

[Antoni] Please make sure
she takes care of herself.

This week helped me see that it's not
about a ginormous amount of time.

I can take care of myself
in little moments here and there.

Get off the express train
and just go climb a tree.

-We love you very, very much.
-I love you so much.

-Bye, everybody.
-Thank you for everything.

[Jamie] Thank you! Bye!

-[Jonathan] Be careful now! Have fun!
-[Jamie] Love you!

♪ 'Cause I'll be there for you ♪

[country music playing]

♪ If your life is like a tornado ♪

♪ You've been living in black and white ♪

♪ All you need is a smoke and a rainbow ♪

♪ Honey, let me give you a light ♪

♪ Yes, queen, go queen… ♪

-You're like-- Don't choke.
-[chuckles]

That was a really attractive look.
You're welcome.

[Jonathan] Get that…

My Spanx are too tight today.
I can't twerk at all.

[laughs]

[Karen] Every time you think we're…

-[laughing]
-You forgot.

I left the dates and the Marcona almonds
because I didn't think you would want any.

-Antoni, me.
-[Antoni clicks tongue]

-If you don't, I could bring you sage.
-[laughing]

One of us likes animals. The other wants
to run right now. Right? You feel that?

This feels like when I'm with my friends
and I talk about my dog too much

and they all just walk away.

[laughs]

-Whoo-- Don't worry! They were clip-ons!
-Oh! Damn, it broke!

-[Antoni] Look, my favorite chicken.
-[laughing]

-Love cauliflower.
-[clucks]

Let's go that way. Go on.

No.

[laughs]

Okay.

♪ Hey! Y'all means all ♪