05x01 - Preaching Out Loud

[bunniefuu]

["Philadelphia Freedom" playing]

♪ I used to be a rolling stone you know ♪

♪ If a cause was right ♪

♪ I'd leave to find the answer
On the road ♪

[both shout]

♪ I used to be a heart b*ating 
For someone ♪

♪ But the times have changed ♪

♪ The less I say 
The more my work gets done ♪

♪ 'Cause I live and breathe 
This Philadelphia freedom ♪

♪ From the day that I was born 
I've waved the flag ♪

♪ Philadelphia freedom took me knee high
To a man, yeah[span style="style1"] ♪[/i]

♪ Gave me a piece of mind 
My daddy never had ♪

♪ O Philadelphia freedom ♪

♪ Shine on me, I love you ♪

♪ Shine a light through the eyes 
Of the ones left behind ♪

♪ Shine the light, shine the light ♪

♪ Shine the light
Won't you shine the light? ♪

♪ Philadelphia freedom ♪

-[Antoni] Walter! Hey, buddy!
-[clamoring]

-Oh!
-Aww!

-Bye, Walter.
-Bye, Walter, love you.

-[Antoni] Here's to Philly.
-Yeah!

Cheers! Cheers!

♪ Philadelphia freedom ♪

[theme music playing]

♪ You came into my life ♪

♪ And my world never looked so bright ♪

♪ It's true
You bring out the best in me ♪

♪ When you are around ♪

♪ Things keep getting better ♪

♪ Better ♪

♪ Things keep getting better ♪

-♪ Better ♪
-♪ All things just keep getting better ♪

♪ I'm here to do my thing
Who knows what tomorrow brings? ♪

♪ This is what we do ♪

♪ La la la la, I'm all about ♪

♪ Come and get it, come, come and get it ♪

♪ La la la la, I'm all about ♪

♪ Come and get it ♪

It's a brand-new day,
and we are gonna help a gorgeous Noah!

-Yay!
-Like, Noah and the Ark, Noah?

Uh, yes! And interesting, like projecting,
foreshadowing, ferosh!

♪ Hallelujah ♪

[Jonathan] "Noah is the head pastor

of the Evangelical Lutheran Church
of Atonement

for the last five years."

-[laughing]
-[chattering]

I was pre-warned,
which is why I wore my fireproof suit.

Wow! I'm gonna give a slow clap.

Oh, wow.

"He's nominated by members
of the church council."

Fun!

There are a lot of personalities
in our congregation.

[laughing]

What is that?

We were once called the quirkiest church
in Fishtown.

[laughs] I think it froze, too!

I think we've done a lot
to earn that name.

I live right next door to the church

in a house owned by the church,
with my two cats

Thor and Sateen.

[gasping]

-Does he have cats?
-Oh, my gosh!

By virtue of who we are
and how small our congregation is,

Noah's saddled with a lot more
than pastoral responsibilities.

[woman] It's three o'clock in the morning,

Pastor Noah's over there
mopping up the church floor!

Say what? I mean, who's doing that?

Noah's doing that.

Honey! "He's a late night eater..." Same!

"...who overindulges on cake."

Same! "Klondike bars."

Same. "And bacon." Same!

[laughing]

I might become the first lady
of this church.

[laughing]

-Good morning.
-Good morning, everyone.

Noah is an introvert.

I am single.

It can be a challenge to date as a pastor.

But also, I'm gay,

and I have struggled with my identity
as a gay person.

[Jonathen]
Noah was brought up in a very h*m*,

fundamentalist, Baptist denomination.

[Noah]
I was taught that q*eer people were wrong

and probably going to hell.

In seminary, I met a woman,

a wonderful person, and I thought,
"Oh, maybe this is it."

That I can have that kind of life that 
at the time I thought was

the only real, acceptable option.

One of the first two people I came out to
was my wife.

After the divorce,
I moved to Philadelphia,

to experience something different,
a new chapter of life.

Finding a community like Atonement

to be able to serve,
I feel really blessed,

but we're a struggling congregation.

If we have 30 in the pews on a Sunday,
that's a pretty decent Sunday for us.

[Noah] Maybe I need to step up my game
a little bit.

Maybe building some more confidence
as a leader

of this congregation,
and a leader in the church at large.

Maybe I'm what he needs!

We've been walking through the desert

of this, like, life together,
and he doesn't even know!

And there's a pizza place
right by our church. Oh, my God!

I love that people call you Jesus.

If you ended up being with a pastor,

-Oh, my gosh!
-this would be amazing. [laughs]

My mom is gonna be so excited! [shouts]

Okay, so, wait.

Our mission this week is to help Noah
take the "past" out of "pastor"

-and find faith in himself!
-Yeah!

[chattering]

[woman] Who wants coffee?

I'll take coffee.

[woman] People think I wanna make coffee
'cause I wanna be generous.

No, it's 'cause I don't want them 
to make a mess that I gotta clean up.

[laughing]

-[rings]
-Over her voice, you can't hear a thing.

-The Lord be with you.
-[all] And also with you.

[Noah] Be with us, Lord,
as we meet together.

All this we ask in Jesus' name.

Amen.

[Jonathen] We just need to talk about
our 125th anniversary coming up.

[Jonathan] Okay, guys. Ready?

It's gonna begin with a worship service.

This is so gorgeous! Isn't this gorgeous?

-A program emceed by Joey.
-[Tan] Hello!

-Oh, God!
-[Tan] Can we come in?

-Hi!
-What's going on in here?

You must be Noah, I assume.

I am.

Hi! Oh, thank you.

-Overwhelmed?
-Yes! [laughs]

Hi, Noah!

Hi.

I feel like you should ask before you...

Attention, everyone!

No, no...

-[man] No, you're included here.
-Welcome home.

[Tan] I love that!

My first impressions
of Noah are a bit like,

he's gorgeous, he's great,
but, like, a baby bit timid.

-Wow.
-Noah, how are you doing?

Uh, I am... I'm good!

[Tan] Now, Noah, not to be distasteful,

we're gonna pretend you're not here
for a second.

What does Noah need help with?

He's gotta pick better songs about Jesus!

[laughing]

He needs to be a little
a bit more outgoing, personally.

Does he lead this meeting?
Are you like the chairperson also?

-Oh, yeah, I try really hard.
-[laughing]

Do you feel authoritative?
Does he feel authoritative?

No, not at all.

He's, like, really working
behind the scenes.

-Okay.
-In nothing but cargo shorts!

[Jonathan] Okay.

That's one of Tanny's Ten Commandments.
Thou shalt not wear cargo shorts.

[laughing]

-Shall we get started?
-Yeah!

[Bobby] Let's see, let's get a tour.

-Thank you! Bye.
-Bye!

So this has been around for 125 years,
this building?

[Noah] Yes. And it is needing some TLC.

-This is where you keep the holy water?
-[Noah] Yes.

So it's a little dusty right now.

[Jonathan] Who threw a dang baseball
through the window?

[Noah] Uh...

[Karamo] You know when you see a church
and you're like,

"Oh, in 20 years,
that's gonna be a haunted house"?

Just saying.

That's what this is giving me.

Where do you live?

I live right next door.

-In the parsonage?
-[Noah] Yep.

-That's a long commute.
-[laughing]

-Can we see that?
-[Noah] Yes.

-Ooh, I love a Philly summer.
-So this is it.

-[Bobby] Wait, this is it?
-[Antoni] You're not kidding.

-Shall we?
-Yes, we shall.

[Noah] Welcome to my home.

It has air. I'm happy about that.

Put that down, great.

Um, Noah. What happened to your wall?

-So, while...
-I mean, pastor girl!

-[laughing]
-And that pipe's definitely a sewage pipe.

This is serving me[span style="style2"] Jumanji.[/i]

[Antoni] It's a little [span style="style2"]Jumanji[/i]-esque.

I watched this whole thing
just get worse and worse.

-I love exposed bricks!
-[laughing]

[Bobby]
Let's see more. Where's your bedroom?

[Jonathan]
This is a great example of heat rising.

Well, this is pretty light.

Okay, black sheets. Smart.

-[Jonathan] Um, Noah, Noah...
-[laughing]

Oh, my gosh.

[Jonathan] Mold, scary.

-Yeah.
-This isn't good for your health.

[Noah] Yeah.

-[Tan] I'm gonna explore.
-Go explore.

-I am...
-He-Man!

...the power! [imitates electricity]

-[Karamo] Is it heavy?
-[Antoni] Yes.

[Jonathan] A nice little cross to fend off
the devil from your grooming tools.

Useful!

-This is sharp!
-[Antoni] It is.

[Karamo] Why does a pastor have this?

Hmm.

Hmm.

So we've been out for...

What, 13 years now.

Okay. I'm so proud of you.

You jumped into the pool, water's great.

Right, exactly.

You're like a young, adolescent gay
in out years.

Exactly.

How old is my out self?

What's 32 minus 9?

Wait, 13? 19?

Well, whatever.

I can't do math,
but I'm a great hair colorist.

All right, closet, let's see what you got!

Ooh! Lots of black.
Okay, I get that situation. Uh-huh.

If you find one,
you find many cargo shorts. Cargo short.

Ooh, cargo short with a belt,
even less flattering.

[Jonathan] What you want to learn?

Are you curious about your look?
Are you curious about this new beard?

This is kind of the look I inherited.

I have mixed feelings about this.

Like, I don't know how to work with that.

I think you look really handsome
with a beard.

-Thank you.
-Kind of a little daddy.

You know, kind of a daddy

who's also just a pastor,
which is gorgeous.

And I'm so excited get started this week.

Me, too.

Oh, my God,
you're a really good hugger, queen!

-[laughs]
-Love!

[Antoni] He has an extensive library.

[Jonathan]
He's got a lot of different body sprays.

I don't see any q*eer literature anywhere.

-[Antoni] There's q*eer theology.
-[Karamo] Really?

-[gasps] Go on, you can do it.
-[Jonathan] Jenga!

There's an extensive library,
and there's only two q*eer books.

-[Tan] Do you have it? We don't have it.
-Oh!

[Antoni] Oh, my God. These are good!

[Bobby] I look around,
and I know that this isn't safe.

The church council approved construction

to begin to renovate the parsonage.

Is there another space in the church
that we could zhuzh up?

And then little by little, 
you'll be able to slowly get it

to where it's safe for you
to be breathing this air.

I think that would be great.

[Jonathan]
Come here, baby, come get your little toy.

Do you want to play-- ooh. [kisses]

Come here, bitten.

Noah cannot live in the parsonage
that he's in now.

I've gotta find him a space
that he can live in

until the church does something 
about the condition of that home.

[Jonathan] We love safety! We love safety!

[Antoni] I love an alley.

-Okay, I'm seeing less health hazards.
-[laughs] Yeah!

[both] That's a plus.

[Bobby]
I'm seeing beautiful stained-glass window.

This kind of reminds me 
of Whoopi Goldberg's room

-in[span style="style2"] Sister Act [/i]one!
-[laughing]

I love the smell of pine.
I appreciate the pine candles.

It's a wonderful space.

[Bobby] It's very cool. I think this would
be much healthier for you

-and bigger and brighter and happier.
-[Noah] Yeah.

[Antoni] What was your upbringing like?
Where were you raised?

I grew up in Winston-Salem,
North Carolina.

-Mm-hmm.
-The meal that really stands out to me,

pinto beans and cornbread.

-Pinto beans and cornbread. Okay.
-Pinto beans and cornbread.

You're a southern man, absolutely.

[gasps]

What in gay hell?

[Karamo] Faith and religion
is really important to me.

So to hear that we have a pastor that 
identifies as part of the LGBT community

is really amazing for me.

What was that journey like for you?

At first, I think it was like,
"I finally get to be me."

Then it was like,
"Oh, crap, this is really hard."

The church wasn't really ready
for openly gay clergy.

You could be openly gay in the pew,

but you couldn't be an openly gay pastor.

In 2009, our group of Lutherans

made a decision that would allow
openly gay clergy.

You know what's interesting to me
is you found yourself

to a place now where you're proud
of being gay,

yet when I look around,
I see the physical manifestation

of some type 
of stress you're going through.

Yeah. I wasn't able to come out
until much later in life,

and I wasn't at the forefront

of people leading the church
into greater acceptance.

I felt guilty.

I have a severe case of impostor syndrome.

-Huge.
-Yeah.

Like, am I really the best person
for them here?

This is a community that's struggling
for survival, and I need to...

I need to be a leader.

And you're ready?

I am ready.

I think that's why you guys are here.

Yeah.

[Noah] Thank you.

[Karamo]
You're welcome. Thanks for being honest.

-To a complete stranger!
-[laughs] Well, you're easy to talk to.

[Karamo] So what do you hope

that you'll get at the end of this week
from each of us?

We have our 125th anniversary coming up.

I'm hoping to be a better leader,

a more public voice

for this kind of Christianity,

especially in this kind of environment.

[Tan] Great.

-[Karamo] Good.
-[Jonathan] Snaps for that, honey, yes!

[all] Atonement 125!

♪ Think about it once or twice
Or maybe it's more often ♪

♪ Fork in the road 
And I'm questioning... ♪

[Antoni] Noah only wants the best 
for Atonement, and to accomplish that,

he needs to be out there in the field,

meeting people and breaking bread.

He's got a whole look going on under there
that he doesn't even realize that he has.

I'm ready to get the outside to match
all that's going on on the inside.

My goal this week is to get Noah out 
of that home that's not safe for him.

The church is renovating the parsonage,

so besides giving Noah a new place
to lay his head,

we're gonna be giving the community space
and the sanctuary a much-needed facelift.

When you come out at a later stage,
you start to relive those teenage years,

and I think he just got stuck in there.

I want to show Noah versions 
of classic clothing

that definitely is more appropriate
for who he is

and what he wants outside of work.

All the messages he received
from the church early on

are still with him.

For me to get Noah to a place

where he can accept his present
and start working on a better future,

he has to resolve the trauma
from his past.

♪ I'm flying, I'm trying to get back ♪

[dance music playing]

[Antoni] This is your station,
right over here.

[Tan] Noah, don't look so nervous.

Ladies and gentlemen,
give it up for gorgeous Noah!

[cheering]

Noah is very comfortable in his church,

around his council, in his apartment,

on his couch with his books and his DVDs,

but he needs to be more comfortable
going out

and just communicating
and being around people.

My name is Noah Hepler.
I'm the pastor at Atonement Lutheran

in the Fishtown neighborhood here
in Philadelphia.

We have brought with us a gaggle of gays

to help Noah see
that he can be himself completely.

The room is full of us.

I wanted to make this
a fun culinary experience

'cause we're actually here to help Noah.

Remind us, please, what's going on
at the end of the week.

So, Atonement is celebrating
its 125th anniversary.

We are going to have
an amazing worship service

and just kind of blowout party, 
the only way that Atonement can do it,

and that's gotta include food.

To actually honor
Noah's southern heritage,

we're making a skillet cornbread,

a really classic, simple recipe,

but we're gonna customize it
with some extra elements.

We made some brown butter.

It's gonna add nice dark color
around the edges of our cornbread.

Take the brown butter
and pour it into the bowl. Beautiful.

Now we can take the maple syrup

and then gently just pour it
into the brown butter.

Now we have buttermilk.

Gently just drizzle this in
to our nice little mixture.

-You're doing great.
-I'm doing it.

Making cornbread.

So, you're gonna go ahead
and cr*ck three eggs.

-[Jonathan] You wanna do one on my head?
-[Tan] Yeah.

-[Antoni] Oh, my gosh, you're nightmares.
-[laughing]

Anyway, for the rest of you,
our dry ingredients,

cornmeal, wholewheat flour,
bleached flour,

baking soda,

baking powder,

a nice little pinch of salt.

[Jonathan] Your batter's looking 
really velvety and great.

I'm very proud of it.

Antoni, look at how great
his batter is looking.

Yeah.

-Have you been neglecting yours?
-No!

Okay, jalapeños.

I love jalapeños!

If you want it little hotter,
use the seeds.

You throw in your jalapeños.
into your batter mix.

Damn, Noah, you went off
on your jalapeños!

You have, like, a whole chunk!
That's brilliant.

You're about to burn somebody's house down
with that, honey!

[Antoni] Last step, guys.

So, our oven is set to 350.

-Go ahead and plop that right in there.
-[Jonathan] Yeah, be careful.

Nailing it.

[Antoni] So, this one can go right here.

I actually want Noah to walk around.

We're engaging, we're interacting.

For his congregation to grow,
outreach is imperative.

[laughing]

[Antoni] Noah is stepping up to the plate.

He can be a leader
by just leaning into who he already is

and knowing that that's enough.

Now that you got to meet
all your new friends,

I think it would be maybe nice
to invite them for the end of the week.

Yes. I would love for all of you
to join us

at Atonement's 125th anniversary
this Saturday.

-[grunting]
-Yes!

-[Antoni] I think they're ready.
-[Jonathan] Yay!

-[Jonathan] Wow!
-Yay!

♪ Na-na-na! Na-na-na! ♪

[Tan] How are you feeling?

-Excited.
-Okay, I'll take excited.

What are we excited about?

Um, new opportunities.

I feel like I'm not
putting my best self out there.

Okay. You're done with work,
you've got a few minutes to get ready,

what are you wearing?

In this weather, I'd probably try 
to find my nicest pair of shorts.

Okay. When you come out
a little bit later,

a lot of the time, many people revert back
to their teenage selves,

which is when they probably wanted 
to come out.

When I saw your cargo shorts,

-I thought that's also a clear sign
-Yeah. [laughs]

of somebody who was reliving their youth.

-Yeah.
-He's a middle-aged man.

No longer can we accept the cargo shorts.

If this even were more fitted,

-do you see what that does for your legs?
-Yeah.

-Immediately, they look longer.
-Yeah.

Right now, you're drowning
in your clothes.

And on a teenager, fine.

-But I want you to look respectable,
-Yes.

and I want to make your wardrobe
as easy as possible.

The reason why I wanted
to bring you to a store like this

is because they do simple very, very well.

Any one of these things that you mix
will work.

Okay.

I guess all I'm saying is I want you
to look sexy.

I don't know if I can say that
to a pastor, but I want you to.

-Okay?
-[laughs] Okay.

-Are you ready to try on whatever I want? 
-Yes.

-All right, Tan.
-Oh, hello!

-You look so good!
-Oh, thank you.

Come take a look at yourself.

-Okay.
-Let's talk about it.

-It's different.
-Yes.

Um... there are things I'm not sure about.

Hit me with it.
I'll take whatever you've got.

I'm not sure that this particular jacket

-is bringing it for me.
-Okay.

I don't know. Maybe it feels plain?

Plain? All right.

I was worried that we couldn't go jazzier,
but okay.

-Shall we try something else?
-Sure.

I've got something that has
a little bit more detail to it.

Okay.

Is that better?

Oh, Noah, you look hot.

Take a look.

-[Noah] I definitely like this.
-Love.

This top part is feeling really good.

I think we could go slightly slimmer
on the pants.

-A little bit more shape would be nice.
-Yeah.

[Tan] Could it be a date look?

[Noah] I definitely would wear this.

That makes me happy. Did we nail it?

-I think so.
-Okay, good.

Hello.

[Tan] Hello, Bobby Berk.

-[Bobby] Look at you!
-[Tan] Doesn't he look so nice?

-We're wearing opposites today.
-[laughing]

Go get changed. Thank you, my love.

-Aww, good job. [moans]
-Thanks, my love. It's been a good one.

That was fun, but let me tell you,

the difficult thing with Noah is that

I think we need to draw out
who he really is,

'cause he's not showing that in any way.

Not in his style.
Not in the way he presents.

He's got the all black down.

Maybe it's just purely a confidence thing.

-He's wearing what makes him feel safe.
-Yeah.

That's what he's accepted as,
he's accepted as the minister,

so he stays in that box.

We need to help him feel comfortable
with that other part of his life,

-which is who he is as a person.
-Yeah.

-His real life, not just the job.
-[Bobby] Yeah.

Hello, dear. Are you ready to go?

I am saddened to see you back in this,
it hurts my heart a little bit.

-It's not your look.
-I'm hiding in it.

We're gonna empower you 
to feel amazing and perfectly safe

in more daring outfits.

-Thank you.
-Wait until you see your closets.

Thank you. I'm gonna continue to shop.
Bye, boys!

[Bobby] So, how's it been thus far?

I've had a lot of fun, lots of surprises.

Learned anything yet?

Yeah, learning to just kind of go
with the flow.

-That's a hard thing to do sometimes.
-Sometimes it is.

Especially, like, the church, you know.

[Bobby]
You've been a minister there how long now?

I've been there right around five years.

And what are your plans going forward?

We want to create friendship 
with the community that we're in.

That also means having
honest conversations.

The church is quick to try to fix things

without owning the damage that was done.

And that's one of the things
that I want to change

and advocate for, like,

"No, let's own those moments
that we've hurt people."

And we need to do some real apology
and real reconciliation around that.

Christianity cloaks itself as

a loving, safe space,

but that's not the church we grew up with.

No.

The faith has been used against us,
and it should not have been.

There are a lot of stories in the Bible,
they're in there, and they're not told.

-Right.
-For example,

there's the one where the centurion goes 
to Jesus and says,

"My sl*ve is ill,
and I want you to heal him."

The Greek word that's used there is,
he says, "My beloved."

If you take into account
historical distance,

it means boyfriend.

And Jesus doesn't say anything about that,

he just heals the guy.

Wow! Where did you read that in the Bible?

It's a very short story,
but it's very powerful, and it's like,

there we are,

and yet the story has been retold

in a way that leaves us out.

I would like for the rest 
of the Lutheran world

to kind of see that.

♪ Every day is a new day ♪

♪ Go ahead, pop champagne ♪

[Bobby] I wanted to get some new flags 
designed for your sanctuary.

-After you, sir.
-Thank you.

[Bobby] I wanted you to see
the different things we can do.

I noticed a lot of teal around.

Show me teal. [laughs]

I'll show you some fabric swatches.

-[Noah] Show me teal.
-All right.

-So this is the teal.
-[Noah] Okay.

-[Bobby] I think that'll look very pretty.
-[Noah] Yeah.

There's some of that color
in the stained-glass windows.

[Noah] Yeah.

[man]
Also what's cool about teal is this is

a very traditional
Philadelphia green color.

-Yeah.
-You'll see it everywhere.

So, fabric-wise,
we can do a couple of different things.

We can print it,
but what I had in mind was this,

where it's stitched on.

-Yeah.
-I wanted to make sure

that I put this up on the wall,

celebrating 125 years,

because I want everyone to remember
how the church has evolved.

-Yeah.
-How far we've come.

We can make sure that every single day,

we're fighting for the next 125 years 
to be even better.

I think we're going to love it.

[man] All right, cool.

♪ No one's going on their own ♪

[man vocalizing]

[Karamo] It's important for Noah 
to be around other LGBTQ clergy,

so that he can understand
that he's not alone in his struggles.

You got two people who are amazing.

Bishop Guy Erwin, the first openly gay
bishop of the Lutheran faith.

[Guy] I was honored that they asked me 
to come and be with you in this time.

I've followed you on social media,

I know you're a conscientious
and dedicated pastor,

and I appreciate what you do.

-I mean, powerful.
-[laughs]

[Karamo] And Pastor Megan,
first openly trans pastor

in the Lutheran church.

I was one of the extraordinarily
ordained pastors,

which means that I was one of the pastors
who got ordained and lived openly

during the time
when the church was saying no.

The issues that you're having today,
and the reason that

you don't have the present

or the future you want
is because of your past.

We have to figure out what got you 
to this place where you felt

like an impostor,

so that we can come forward.

I had always avoided

saying that I was gay.

[Megan] Sure.

Because of the church's lack
of acceptance.

But I feel held back

by my past.

And I feel like I can't be the kind of

leader in the church,

not just my own congregation,
but in the church,

that I could be.

I keep running a negative script
about myself

in my head, because I didn't step up

within the larger story
of the q*eer community.

I haven't gotten over it.

[Guy] Your story and mine
are not entirely different.

I know how it hurts.

I am very deeply sorry for the pain

that you have felt.

Our world needs you right now.

-Yeah.
-[Megan] It's calling you.

There's not a month that goes by

that I don't get messages

and letters from parents who say,
"My kids think they can't go to church,

but the good news that you put out online

makes me think that maybe
there is a place for them in the future."

There's a kid in my congregation.

[Megan] Yeah.

I've been waiting for him to come out
since the first time I met him.

His mom and his grandma
have been waiting for him to come out

since he was four. [laughs]

-He came out this year.
-[Megan] Yes.

And I am just... elated

that for him,

the one place that won't tell him

anything bad about who he is

will be his church.

[Megan] Would you ever tell that kid
in your congregation

they didn't come out soon enough?

[Noah] No.

So why do you tell yourself that,
child of God?

Thank you.

[Karamo] What's going on?

I needed to hear that.

[sighs]

You have no idea.

-You're talking about the calling.
-[Guy] Amen.

Whoo! You are right where
you're supposed to be, brother.

-You have no idea!
-[laughs]

[Megan] And I'm so glad,

'cause my shoulders are tired
and there needs to be more of us.

-And Guy's in there, too.
-We need more, all the time.

Every word of grace we say,
it has an impact,

whether we ever see it or not.

We are communicating constantly,
God's love to other people.

And to do so as an out gay pastor,
even without saying more than that,

who you are preaches,
and people need to hear that.

[Megan] Just remember,
in the days when it's hard,

that all pastors are struggling,

no matter how together they look
on Facebook.

And that you're not alone,

that you have colleagues.

And I don't come by myself,
I come with a cloud of witnesses

and saints who join me,
in part, 'cause I brought you this.

This stole was passed down
to 11 different pastors

who were ordained

outside of the official rules
of the church,

but because they felt called
to serve openly and authentically.

And this stole gets passed down

because we know that we're a part

of a long, faithful calling.

We don't think any of us
should carry it alone and keep it.

So I'm gonna give it to you

and call you to this new calling
that you're embracing,

with the hope that you will pass this 
along to the next person

who needs to hear that same message.
And you'll know when it's right.

Right?

You are a part of the great calling

of so many fabulous pastors.

You get to embody that freedom

that came to you in your baptism.

And you get to preach openly

in ways that generations only dreamed of.

[kisses]

Thank you. Amen.

The church, for me, is a place of hurt,
judgment and pain.

That being said,

Noah clearly wants to make a safe space
for everyone.

If he can stop a church
from ever being a place

of judgment, hurt and pain
for future gay youth,

it makes me wanna help.

♪ Come watch me do it 
'Cause when I do it ♪

♪ I only do it right ♪

Welcome to The Duke Barber Co.
We love them.

After you.

[Noah] Thank you.

This is our friend Will.

Will, this is Noah.

-Good to meet you.
-Hi, Noah, nice to meet you.

[Jonathan] Baby Noah is a pastor,

and he's a very nice man who we adore.

Let's talk about your hair a little bit.

I normally wear it fairly short.

I did for a while sport a nice bowl cut.

-Oh. Serving, like, friar realness.
-[laughing]

Not today, Satan.

I have been wondering, like,
what might look the best for me.

I'm personally ready to say, like,
[span style="style2"]au revoir.[/i]

[laughs]

I'm feeling short hair on top,
but then gorgeous beard.

One way to make a beard
give a little bit more of a polished look

is when you have a barber who knows how
to fade the beard

to, like, the haircut.

-He's a gorgeous barber.
-Thank you.

-It's gonna be great. Yep.
-[Jonathan] Let's do it.

♪ Hot groove on the dance floor ♪

-All right.
-It's a very h*m* back of your...

This is very, like, strappy things.
Yes. Major.

That's adorable.

♪ Make me the lucky lady ♪

[whirring]

What are you doing
to get more parishioners?

We haven't done
any significant advertising.

Do you guys have foot traffic?

I think we get a little bit off
of Facebook.

You know how people come
to visit places now?

It's Instagram. It's Twitter.

[Noah] I've been talking 
with a couple friends to tutor me.

I'll tutor you right now. [claps]

Part of planning your Instagram feed is,
like, doing series that people like.

-Right.
-[Jonathan] You could do a minute video,

where you just do a paragraph
of your favorite verse

and say what it means to you.

Social media is a tool and a resource 
for us to connect.

And improve our connectivity
with those people around us.

Like if you're trying
to spread the word of God.

Come to church! Come to church!
Come to church!

[laughing]

[Jonathan] I'm gonna do a little thing
with your brows.

I just want to frame those suckers up
just, like, a little, tiny bit.

[Noah]
This is fun. I've never done this before.

-[Jonathan] Really?
-[Noah] Yeah.

[Jonathan] This is looking so good,
I'm about to become the preacher's wife.

[laughing]

Wow, are you looking gorge. So good.

-Are you ready to see the new you?
-[Noah] I am.

I'm gonna turn you around.
Here's the new, gorgeous Pastor Noah.

Boom.

[Jonathan] You're speechless!

[laughing] Yes!

-[Jonathan] Don't your brows look good?
-Yeah.

Do you like how it frames them up
a little?

-Handsome man under there.
-Wow.

-Right?
-That's amazing.

♪ Morning comes, there's a light ♪

♪ The end of the dark
A change of pace and a change of heart ♪

♪ I'm not the kind of girl to go... ♪

Mmm!

♪ No fun trying to play a part ♪

♪ Sometime... ♪ 

[Jonathan]
Happy 125th anniversary, Atonement.

I mean, can you believe?

Oh! Fun!

-My gosh, you are sexy.
-You look so handsome!

-Thank you.
-Good to see you.

-You look so good!
-Thank you!

Awww!

Ready to see more?

[Noah] Wow.

That is amazing.

-[Bobby] See our banners that we had made.
-[Noah] Yeah, yeah.

It's like looking in the mirror yesterday,
I was just like, "Wow!"

[Bobby]
If you notice the rainbow lights now.

[Noah] Yeah.

-[Bobby] Up-lighting the church.
-[Tan] Oh, nice.

[Bobby] When people come in, I want them 
to know, "I'm in a new kind of church.

I'm in an accepting church.

I'm in a church that likes
not just colorful walls,

but colorful people."

-Yeah!
-Yes. Thank you.

This is my church. [laughs]

-[Bobby] Let's see the community center.
-[Karamo] Yes, squad!

[Noah] Wow!

-How beautiful is this?
-[laughing]

-[Jonathan] Snacks!
-[Noah] Wow.

-[Bobby] I know you like modern...
-[Noah] Yeah.

...and so I wanted to make this room 
modern and clean and cool.

Brought in some of the colors
from the stained-glass

-in the chairs and the dishes.
-[Noah laughs] Yeah.

Jonathan's already enjoying the space.
He feels very comfortable already.

All right. Boys!

-Boys!
-We're coming.

I mean, amazing.

-[Antoni] Oh, my God.
-It's so beautiful.

[Bobby] Nothing is prettier behind a bed
than a backdrop of stained-glass windows.

[Tan] It's gorgeous.

That's amazing.

For the five years I've been here,

it's not even come close 
to looking this good.

[Bobby]
It's gonna be great for you to live in

-while you renovate the house.
-Exactly.

[Bobby] When you get that house renovated,

this could be where the youth group meets
or children's classes.

[Noah] It's like you've read our mind.

-Miracles happen.
-[Jonathan] Gorge!

You show up for your community
in such an incredible way.

-Do you see that you're a leader?
-Yeah.

I feel it. I see it in myself in new ways.

And we have all these resources

in this space

to bring people in more, around food.

Food builds community.

-Food builds community. That's well put.
-[laughs]

I just love exactly how 
this is looking now.

[Noah] It's beautiful.

I know that you're going to be able
to heal so many people,

not only in your community,
but around the world,

because your testimony
is going to be so strong

in helping other people

to truly know that they can overcome.

I'm wonderfully overwhelmed.

-Fabulously overwhelmed!
-[laughs]

Under the eyes of God,
we're all accepted. We are all loved.

And for you to have a space

that's going to be open to everyone,

that's God's work.

Thank you for being part of it. Oh!

[Bobby] So, how are you feeling?

Good. Happy to see that you're not
in your fireproof suit.

[laughs]

-[sighs] Not today.
-Yeah, not today!

But I also wanted to say
I am just beyond thankful

that you just really invested yourself

in a building that represents

an institution that's been very painful.

I get that.

The church owes you an apology.

And as much as I can embody that,

I want to say I'm sorry
for your experience.

When I think about if I ever have kids,

if I would bring them to church,

my first thought is always, "Hell, no."
No pun intended.

Um...

But then on another hand, I'm like,

if churches like this
started happening more,

there might be a chance
I would bring my kids to a church.

I don't want our experience to ever happen
to anyone else.

Yeah.

-Thank you for coming.
-Sure.

[Jonathan] Noah! Noah!

-[imitates Tan] "Hey, you ready, boys?"
-[laughing]

Are you ready or not?

We are!

Noah, will you join us, my love?

[Jonathan] Noah! Noah!

Whoa! Okay!

-[Bobby] Very handsome, I like this.
-[Karamo] Yes!

It's a great staple jacket,
that's gonna go with anything.

Thank you.

It compliments the cut
to the beard and the hair so beautifully.

So good together. Let's see the next one.

[Antoni] Nice. It's a subtle change,

but it's still so different
than what you were wearing before.

I can see your personal style in this.

Yeah, yeah, I can, too.
I really like this outfit.

Gorge!

[Karamo]
Oh, that's great that it's short sleeve.

You look so cute.

-Thanks.
-[Jonathan] How do you feel?

I feel amazing.

I don't know how to thank you guys enough.

This is something I've really needed.

And I think it's something

that my community
has really needed from me.

You have the opportunity to be that voice,

to be able to be that beacon of light.

Keep doing what you're doing,
but I want you to do it a little louder.

The people in the back row need
to hear it, not just in here,

-but the back row of the world.
-Back row.

[Noah]
This is a model for where we're headed.

How are you feeling
about your event tonight?

I think it's gonna be amazing.

You already are a gorgeous leader,
but make sure you're a leader of action,

of calling your friend
who runs a gay man's chorus.

Make sure you call him to get
the entertainment lined up for tonight.

-You've got stuff to do.
-[Tan] We should get out of your hair.

We love you.

You gotta get ready.
We're gonna get out of your way.

-Noah.
-Thank you.

My hope for Noah is that he understands
that his voice has power.

-[Megan] Another one.
-Mmm!

-Oh, what an idea!
-[laughs]

[Antoni] He gets to be that leader kids 
can go to because they don't feel safe.

-[laughs]
-He gets to be that change.

-I love you.
-Love you, too.

You're a good hugger.

Oh, my God.

[Tan] Bye, Noah. Have fun tonight.

-[Noah] Bye, guys.
-Bye.

[R&B music playing]

♪ No shame in love ♪

♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Ain't no shame in love ♪

-[Tan] I'm bringing my coffee.
-[Bobby] Jonny's hungry.

That is a really, really, really, really,
really, really, pretty jacket.

What did I tell you when I saw you today?

-This is what you buried your grandma in?
-It is.

-[laughing]
-[Tan] I wanted you to feel really at home

so I decided to wear this

-to bring you comfort and joy.
-[Karamo] Tanny!

Tan-- Karamo-- I mean Bobby! Oh, my God!
[laughs]

-My grandma's spirit just came into me!
-[laughing]

That's what she used to do!

-Can't remember any of our names.
-Oh, my God, that's insane!

-[laughing]
-On that note, let's go.

-[Karamo] Yeah!
-[Tan] Come on.

-Let's do this.
-Fives, are you ready?

-[laughing]
-[Antoni] Yeah, good one, Karamo!

-[Karamo] He looks so good!
-Noah!

[Fab 5] 125 years!

I feel like this is a new beginning
for him and the church.

Looks good.

Looks real good.

-He's go a nice beard.
-[Karamo] He's super handsome.

He looks lovely.

[sighs]

[woman] All right. Can't wait.

Oh, here they come.

[gasps]

-[clamoring]
-[woman] Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

-Oh, my God!
-[laughing]

Look at this!

[woman] Yeah, seriously!

-You're gorgeous, dude.
-You look amazing.

Aww!

Fabulous.

-Fabulous is what we're going for.
-[laughing]

-You're pretty, but let's see the church.
-Are you ready?

-Can we?
-Come on in.

[all] Wow!

-I love, love!
-[laughing]

-Wow!
-Unbelievable!

This is so[span style="style2"] Sister Act,[/i]
and I love it so much.

This is like disco church now.
This is fabulous!

The quirkiest church in Fishtown, right?

-We got the rainbow lights.
-[Zoa] Amen!

[Jonathan] Aww.

Walter, I need you to calm down. Hey, sit!

-[yelps]
-[laughing]

[Jonathan] Aww, Bobby, they love what you 
did with the church so much.

-[Noah] [span style="style2"]There's more.[/i]
-[gasping]

-Oh, my God!
-Oh, my God!

[woman] Oh, my God.

-[Noah laughs]
-[man] Whoa! Noah!

-[woman] Noah, Look!
-[Zoa] Look at this coffee maker!

We can have cappuccino!

-Look at this.
-They got matching plates.

-[Zoa] Oh, my God!
-[Noah laughs] We are stocked.

Coffee, coffee, I'm in heaven!

"Coffee, coffee!"

-You don't need any more caffeine.
-Woman after my own heart.

-[Noah] You're my team to help get ready.
-[Renée] Got this.

-Good luck.
-We got this.

-The church has never been more full.
-[Karamo] You know what else is full?

-Your heart?
-[Karamo] Heart.

[Tan] Your gay heart?

I was so ready for you to say something
disgusting, and you made it cute.

[singing hymn]

Grace and peace to you this day.

I welcome you to this,
the 125th anniversary of Atonement.

You might notice,
we got a little bit of a boost.

[laughing]

[Noah] You might notice,
I got a little bit of a boost.

I just had a daydream where, like,
techno music came on

and he started doing a striptease.

I would love that. That would be amazing.

[laughing]

But I have not told my story,

at least certainly not
to so diverse an audience.

But today, the hottest,
most flaming day of the year,

I'm gonna do it.

[cheering]

I grew up in
a very different Christian tradition.

It was one that did not focus on grace.

It did not focus on love.

Don't listen to secular music.

Don't play cards.

Definitely don't dance.

And so I knew,

"Okay, what you feel inside,

is way worse than the time

that they found
that pop rock cassette tape

in your book bag."

I was convinced that it was a temptation
to lead me away from God.

I fought it.

I remember the moment
where I heard the Lord

say to me, "Noah, come out."

-[woman] Yes!
-[man] Yes.

[Noah] But I have noticed,
over the past couple of years,

that I have continued
to keep part of myself

shoved in the tomb and buried,

because I still felt
like there was something wrong.

And then, a parishioner found a flyer.

Filled it out.

Kinda as a joke.

-[laughing]
-[Noah] And the next...

The next thing that I know,

five men began to change my life.

I promised, and I asked
to be held accountable,

and I ask you also
to help this be a community

where people, whether it's about sexuality
or race or whatever,

that they do not experience
the kinds of things

that Bobby and I experienced.

And instead, find this
as a community of resurrection

and of being let go.

-Wow!
-[Bobby] I love that.

Authenticity and vulnerability
in front of anyone.

He's being a true courageous leader,

letting the light of Jesus
just shine through him.

Go in peace, be fabulous for the Lord.

Amen.

[both] Peace be with you.

[Noah] Before this week, I continued 
to carry a lot of guilt and shame,

and now I see how much that was getting

in my way of actually helping others.

My calling is still pastor,

but I feel inspired to step forward

and tell my story.

I am becoming

the pastor that I've always wanted to be.

Guys, a toast to Noah!

-And to Atonement.
-[Jonathan] Yeah.

And to another 125 years.

-[Tan] Yes, please.
-Which equals 250.

[laughs]

[dog barks, whines]

[Antoni] Hey, buddy, you don't need
to get nervous.

This is Walter.

HIs mom's on our production team.

He is part Catahoula Leopard dog.

Labrador Retriever.

-Shih Tzu.
-Chihuahua.

-American Pit Bull Terrier.
-Australian Cattle Dog.

And American Bulldog.

-And most importantly, he's 100% lovable.
-Yeah.

[both] Mmm!

Yeah, you are. You're lovable.
You're funny, ha ha!

[upbeat music playing]

-♪ Let me hear you sing hallelujah ♪
-♪ Hallelujah! ♪

-♪ Let me hear you sing I am blessed ♪
-♪ I am blessed! ♪

-♪ Let me hear you sing thank you, Jesus ♪
-♪Thank you, Jesus! ♪

-♪ Let me hear you sing I am blessed ♪
-♪ I am blessed! ♪

♪ Let me hear you sing hallelujah ♪

♪ Let me hear you sing I am blessed ♪

♪ Let me hear you sing thank you, Jesus ♪

♪ Let me hear you sing I am blessed ♪

-♪ Let me hear you sing hallelujah ♪
-♪ Hallelujah! ♪

-♪ Let me hear you sing I am blessed ♪
-♪ I am blessed! ♪

-♪ Let me hear you sing thank you, Jesus ♪
-♪Thank you, Jesus! ♪

-♪ Let me hear you sing I am blessed ♪
-♪ I am blessed! ♪

-♪ Let me hear you sing I am blessed ♪
-♪ I am blessed! ♪

-♪ Let me hear you sing I am blessed ♪
-♪ I am blessed! ♪