01x08 - Mascot Love

[bunniefuu]

♪ Hey ♪

♪ get up ♪

♪ get loud ♪

♪ start pumpin' up the party now ♪

♪ hey ♪

♪ get up ♪

♪ get loud ♪

♪ start pumpin' up the party now ♪

♪ party now, party now ♪

♪ hey ♪

♪ get up ♪

♪ get loud ♪

♪ start pumpin' up the party now ♪

♪ hey ♪

♪ get up ♪

♪ get loud ♪

♪ start pumpin' up the party now ♪

♪ hey ♪

♪ get up ♪

♪ get loud ♪

♪ start pumpin' up the party now ♪

[cheering]

[Spitting]

So what'd you think?

Those pajamas are so cute.

I was talking about the song.

Oh. Love that, too, but I can't wear it.

When we're at the mall tomorrow,

I want to get something cool to wear.

Oh, I forgot. Publicity thing.

What about Saturday?

Uh, Saturday... Saturday.

Can't. Laker game with my dad.

How about Sunday?

Yeah, I think I...

Can't. Costume fitting Sunday morning.

What about Sunday afternoon?

Uh, no. 3:00 dinner with my grandparents.

I love 'em, but they smell like oat...

Meal.

Oh, I love the smell of oatmeal.

Not when it's mixed with mouthwash

and my grandmother's B.O.

-This is crazy.
-What?

We haven't any Miley/Lilly
time in, like, forever.

I know. I miss it, too.

Then how about Tuesday after school?

Ooh, sounds perfect, but
I'm trying out for cheer...

Leading squad.

Hey, why don't you try out with me?

Cheerleading?

Gimme an 'N'. Gimme an 'O'.

What's that spell? No.

Yeah, no time together. Come on.

♪ You can get this. We won't regret this. ♪

♪ We'll be together. Best friends forever. ♪

♪ When you cheer this way, I have to say ok. ♪

♪ I know you must be right, ♪
♪ but now I have... Stage fright. ♪

[Crowd cheering]

Say good night, Lola.

Good night, Lola.

♪ Come on. ♪

♪ You get the limo out front ♪

♪ ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ hot styles, every shoe, every color ♪

♪ yeah, when you're famous ♪

♪ it can be kind of fun ♪

♪ it's really you ♪

♪ but no one ever discovers ♪

♪ who would have thought that a girl like me ♪

♪ would double as a superstar? ♪

♪ You get the best of both worlds ♪

♪ chill it out, take it slow ♪

♪ then you rock out the show ♪

♪ you get the best of both worlds ♪

♪ mix it all together ♪

♪ and you know that it's
the best of both worlds ♪

Hey, dad. Is the sink still clogged?

No, son. I unclogged the sink hours ago.

Now I'm just working on my triceps.

Well, here. Let me help.

Really? Sure.

If you lean into it like this,
you get your deltoids, too.

Maybe I'll just bench press you out the window.

Are you working on your pecs or your delts?

Make up your mind.

Aw, heck with this. I'm
already late for a meeting.

I'm just gonna call the plumber.

Can't believe it. Drain's already clogged.

Now I'm gonna throw $80 an hour down it.

Plumbers make $80 an hour?

I'll do it for 50.

You know what? I'm so late,

I'm gonna take you up on that little deal.

Wait a minute. If I'd have known
you were gonna cave that fast,

I would have asked for, like, 60.

And I was willing to give you 75.

Oh!

All right, here we go.

Wait a minute. If I'm gonna be a plumber,

I'm gonna do this right.

Oh, yeah. Ooh, that breeze feels nice.

Quickest 50 bucks I'll ever make.

Oh, man.

I hated that broccoli casserole the first time.

♪ We've got pride, on our side. ♪

♪ You know it, we show it. ♪

♪ We've got pride. ♪

Ok, so that's the pride cheer

with optional herky. Any questions?

A couple.

First, what the hecky is a herky?

And second, if one of these is a pompon,

does that make 2 of them pompon pompons?

These are the questions that haunt me.

Show me what you got?

Ok. Go ahead.

♪ Go, team. Throw the ball. ♪

♪ Go, team, to the mall. ♪

Lilly, we're doing this to spend time together.

That's not gonna happen

if I'm on the team and you're not.

Ok, so just watch me, all right?

And 1, 2, 3, 4.

♪ Move and squat, arms up and jump. ♪

♪ Twirl, clap, arms up and jump. ♪

Ok, now you try.

Ok.

♪ Move and squat and arms and jump ♪

♪ and clap and arms and twirl ♪

♪ and twirling and twirling and... ♪ oh!

How's that?

Now, why is I that when I
ended up on the couch like that,

you grounded me for a week?

That's because you jumped
all the way from the piano.



So I'm guessing you're going
to be the only cheerleader there

with pompons and a helmet.

Aah! Help?

♪ Hey, come on ♪

♪ get out ♪

♪ I'm snaking out the pipes now ♪

♪ hey, come on ♪

Hey, uh, Jackson...

-Where's Miley?
-Don't know.

-When's she gonna be back?
-Don't care.

-Could you tell her I stopped by?
-Don't count on it.

There! Ha ha! I'm through.

Uh, hey, Jackson?

Uh, not right now, kid.

I'm about ready to hit paydirt.

Jackson, turn it off!

Jackson!

Why does this always happen to me?

I was kind of thinking the same thing.

♪ Dominate the floor. ♪

♪ Pirates, make that score! ♪

♪ Give it all you've got. ♪

♪ Pirates, make that sh*t ♪
Oh!

Oh! I can't believe I broke a nail.

Anyway...

♪ Yay, team! ♪

Uh, Amber, that was a wonderful effort.

Every time you fell, you got right back up again,

even when I begged you to stay down.

Everyone, give it up for the effort.

[Applause]

Ok, moving on.

She doesn't like you because you're too pretty

and you thr*aten her.

Story of my life.

Ok, Stewart;

Show me your stuff.

Ok.
♪ They got our ball. ♪

♪ We want it back. ♪

♪ They got our ball. ♪

♪ We want it back. ♪

♪ They got our ball. ♪

♪ You want it back. ♪

I get it. What else you got?

Oh, I got a good one.

♪ And slide, and slide and do the butterfly. ♪

♪ And dip, and dip, and shake my little hips. ♪

♪ I want you and you ♪

♪ to cheer it with me, too. ♪

Oh, way to go, baby.

When I asked you to bring it,

you brought it.

Now take it over there.

Lilly Truscott...

Come on down!

You're the next contestant on the coach is right.

Ha ha ha ha.

Ok, Truscott, you're the last one.

The next minute of my life is yours.

Don't waste it. Let's go.

♪ Dominate the floor, pirates, raise that score. ♪

♪ Give it a sh*t... ♪
sorry. Oh!

I mean,
♪ give it all you got. ♪

♪ Pirates, take that... Make that sh*t. Yay! ♪

Well, wasn't that something?

Can I try something a little different?

Yeah. Something different would be good.

Oh, no. I can't watch this.

I only taught her one cheer.

♪ You might be good at football, ♪

♪ you might be good at track. ♪

♪ But when it comes to basketball, ♪

♪ you might as well step back. ♪

♪ Come on, step back. ♪

♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. ♪

Wow! Where did that come from?

I just did all my skateboarding
stunts without my skateboard.

Well, you know what?

Put the skateboard away and grab a uniform.

You're on the squad!

Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay!

And Stewart, I love your enthusiasm.

It is part of what makes you perfect

for a position of great
responsibility on this squad.

And I think you know what I'm talking about.

I think I do.

She's gonna make me head cheerleader.

Congratulations to our new mascot!

Yeah! Mas... what?

Everyone, say hello to pirate Pete.

Arrggh!

Arrggh?

We're number one, not number two.

We're gonna b*at the whoops! Out of you.

Testing, testing.





That's my number, ladies,

and the 10th caller gets a date with moi.

[Cell phone rings-♪]

Hello, lucky 10th caller.

-Knock it off, Oken.
-Sorry, coach.

Arrggh! I'm a pirate!

So why am I riding a tricycle?

This is not a tricycle.

This is your pirate ship.

Own it. Sell it.

Make the crowd believe it.

I don't even believe it.

♪ Dominate the floor, ♪

♪ pirate, raise that score. ♪

♪ Give it all you've got, ♪

♪ pirates, make that sh*t. ♪

[Cheers and applause]

Perfect! Fantastic!

You girls are the best.

There's not a girl in this school

who doesn't wish they were you.

[Rings bell-♪]

Oh, Hi, Stewart.

Coach, I put this on my head,
and it smells like a litter box.

Don't worry. I think I've got
something that might help.

Oh, man, there's gum stuck in here.

Air fresheners.

Do you want to smell like a pine forest,

a tropical breeze, or a brand-new car?

I want to smell like a cheerleader.

They don't make that scent.

Now get back out there

and show me a little less Miley

and a lot more peddling pirate.

Arrggh!

I'm so glad you talked
me into this. It's a blast.

Oh, yeah. You should see it from inside here.

And the best part is

we're back to having Miley/Lilly time.

[Whistle] Gotta go.

I know you feel bad about
not making the squad, but look.

Arrggh!

See? I told you we would make you feel better.

[All laugh]

Oh, yeah, that's right.
You rock them, pirate Pete.

If this thing had a plank, you'd be walking it.

Hey, Jackson, Miley left her head at practice.

You get it? Her head?

Don't know.

-But I didn't ask that.
-Don't care.

Will you stop?

Don't count on it.

Hey, check this out.

One second.

Ready.

Man, it was a little water

and some unidentifiable sludge.

Get a tetanus sh*t and buck up, little camper.

Huh? Check it out. It's perfect.

How did you do that?

I have absolutely no idea.

I do know I had to work fast, though.

Went under the house. It
was dark. I got bit by spiders.

Man, I wouldn't be surprised
if I wake up tomorrow

with super-spidey powers. Tsst! Tsst!

Hey, check this out.

[Garbage disposal runs]

That, sir, was the sweet and sour sound

of $50 going in my pocket.

[Robbie:] Jackson!

What's that sound?

Jackson!

Man, I got to get out of here.

Tsst! Tsst!

Tsst!

Dang it!

I know that it looks like I
messed up, but technically,

the job was to unclog the
sink, and the sink's unclogged.

Now, I do take personal checks,

but I prefer cash.

And I prefer not to shower in mushu pork.

And lunch is on me...

And now it's on you.

Oh, no. It's following me.

Hey, Mile; How's it going?

I feel like I've been dumped on all day.

Yeah, I know the feeling.

I did this cheerleading thing to be with Lilly,

and now she's a cheerleader,
and I'm a lame pirate.

And yes, I'm talking to you, stinky.

Whoa. That's a relief.

I thought it was me.

I don't know what to do. I'm not having any fun.

-I just wish I could quit.
-Well, then why don't you?

What?

I mean, heck, I don't know any friendship

that's worth wearing a smelly old pirate head.

To heck with Lilly.

How can you say that? She's my best friend.

She's more important to me than...

Wait a minute.

-Did you do that on purpose?
-Did what?

Get all jedi-mind-tricky on me again.

Thanks, dad. I'm gonna go take a shower.

Unless you're in the mood for a mushui shampooey,

I wouldn't do that.

Here's the score at halftime;

The Philmore Flamingos 58,

and your seaview Pirates... Less than that.

[Sound of toilet flushing]

Way less than that.

But let's not think about that.

Let's think about your lovely seaview pir-ettes.

That's 555-0127.

Go. Come on.

[Dance music plays - ♫]

[Sound of explosions]

What's that I hear?

Uh-oh. Cannon fire.

-It's pirate Pete.
-Arrggh! Arrggh!

Let's catch a few flamingos

and feed 'em to the sharks.

Avast, you land lubbers. Shiver me timbers.

Shiver your timbers over there.

I can't see the cheerleaders.

Oh, sorry. I mean...

Sorry, Matey. Backing up.

-Whoa!
-Hey!

You're paying for that
popcorn, you fat-headed freak.

Shove off, Matey.

Hey, stop it! I can't see!

No! Not my sound board.

[Blowing]

[Charge fanfare slows down and stops]

-Sorry, Oliver.
-What are you doing?

A mascot never takes off her head.

It ruins the illusion.

What illusion? I'm a pirate on a pink tricycle.

Look, just stay on the sidelines,

and watch the pretty cheerleaders.

♪ We're number one, not number two. ♪

♪ We're gonna b*at the whoops! Out of you. ♪

Take a hike, pinky. I'm not in the mood.

I said back off!

Bring it on, birdy.

Why, you little...
Hey! Stop it! Ow!

Ouch! Ouch! Oh...

Oh, I'll get you for that.

Hey, no pecking! How do
you think I got this eye patch?

I'm sorry, coach.

I was just trying to be
the best mascot I could be.

And I think you were.

That's what's so sad.

But I'll be better next time.

There won't be a next time, will there?

Listen, sweetie,

some people just aren't meant
to perform in front of crowds.

What I'm trying to say is beyonce you're not.

Turn in your head.

But have it dry cleaned first.

Hey, what happened?

I got fired.

I'm sorry, Lilly. I really
wanted this to work out.

But we can find something else
we can do together. Come on.

What do you mean, come on?

I have to go back out and cheer.

Why would you go back out if I'm not here?

Because... well... I like it.

But we only did this so we could be together.

That's before I saw how
cute I look in this uniform.

So a uniform's more
important than our friendship?

No, but...
[whistle blows-♪]

Miley, can we not do this right
now? I have a big herky coming up.

You didn't even know what a
herky was until I taught it to you.

[Coach:] Truscott!

Look, I gotta go.

Well... so do I.

Well, Mr. Stewart, you are one lucky man.

I'd feel a lot luckier if I
was talking to your face.

Oops. Sorry. Was I showing again?

You get so used to the breeze,
you can't even tell anymore.

I know what you mean.

Your main line was so rusted,

you were one flush away from flooding the place.

But the work this boy did
held it all together till I got here.

Now wait a minute.

-You talking about my son Jackson?
-Yeah.

This boy right here? My son?

Right. He didn't screw up.

He saved this place.

-This boy did?
-Yes!

-Jackson?
-Yes.

Son,

you've got the plumber's gift.

My boy had it, but he decided to go to college.

Kids. They'll break your heart.

Well, I guess someone owes someone an apology...

And 50 bucks?

You're right, Jackson.

I never thought I'd ever say this,

but good job, son.

Proud of you.

"Good job, son."

"Good job."

Thanks, Jackson. You're welcome, dad.

Yeah, I could get used to this.

'Cause I didn't screw up.

I didn't screw up. I didn't screw up.

Cha cha. I didn't screw up.

[Crashing]

[Robbie:] Jackson!

What was that?

Nothing.

It's time for my spidey escape.

Tsst. Tsst. Tsst. Tsst.

Tsst.

Dang it. I gotta get these things fixed.

Ok, now I'm ready to talk.

Well, now I can't.

Hannah Montana has a backstage
party at the stones concert.

Why are you limping?

Because thanks to you, I couldn't concentrate,

and my herky was jerky.

Wow, that looks swollen. Do you want some ice?

Don't you be nice to me when I'm mad at you.

And yes, wrapped in a towel.

Can you still cheer?

It doesn't matter anyway. I'm gonna quit.

What? You can't.

What are you talking about?
You're the one who told me I should.

Well, I was being selfish.

When I'm on stage performing
and I look out to the wings

and you're always right there cheering me on,

well, I just want to do the same thing for you.

Really?

Yeah, but I can't do that if you quit.

But if I don't quit, we'll never
get any Miley/Lilly time together.

And it's not like you can
quit being Hannah Montana.

No...

But sometimes I can. Like tonight.

What are you doing?

I'm about to limp to the
mall with my friend Lilly.

You're going to give up the
Rolling Stones concert for me?

Please. Those guy will still
be touring when they're 90.

I thought they were 90.

That's great! You're on the squad.

Whoo! Hear that, ladies?

Smokin' oken's on the squad.

Now you really have something to cheer about.

[Coughing]
Come on. It's not that bad.

Is it?

[Sniffing]