03x02 - The Jet Wing

[bunniefuu]

Great. Everything in the
lab is officially useless,

and I don't have
any money to repair it.

I know my mom didn't marry
you for your money,

but I haven't been putting up
with your antics for nothing.

Mr. Davenport, take
your time with the lab.

I don't mind
staying up here.

I mean, it won't make up for
living in a basement for 16 years,

but it's a start.

We don't have time.

Your capsules have
regenerative capabilities.

They're crucial to
your bionic infrastructures.

Huh?

Let me help you.

Capsule good!

But I haven't been in my capsule
all week, and I feel fine.

Well, it's only
a matter of time

before your bionics
go haywire.

Do you know
when exactly,

'cause I have a haircut on Tuesday,
and if I glitch in the chair,

I'm just gonna end up
lookin' like that train wreck.

Look, I get it.

I'm short, I look like
a lady golfer,

and I have
a terrible haircut.

What else you got?

How long do you have?

Look, the longer you go
without your capsules,

the more likely
you'll glitch.

So don't use your bionics
till I get enough money

to rebuild the lab.

Uh-oh, I feel
a glitch comin' on.

Ow!

You know what?
I feel one comin' on, too.

Hey, it's not funny
when you hurt me.

It's just rude.

Man: The world's first
bionic superhumans.

They're stronger than us.

Faster, smarter.

The next generation
of the human race is...

Living in my basement?

Okay, everybody,
family meeting time.

Adam, you don't have to
raise your hand to speak.

Just talk.

Oh, no, I've got
nothin' to say.

I was just
airin' out my pits.

The reason I called
this meeting

is because we have to
make some cutbacks

in the family budget,
starting with

losing our cell phones.

What?

Did you not hear me?

I just moved out
of a basement.

I need this phone.

But I don't get it.
Why is this happening?

Phone gone.
We poor now.

[ Gasps ]

Guys, stop complaining.

This is what you do for family.
You make sacrifices.

This includes you, too.

I barely know you people.
I'm keeping my phone.

Don't worry, Donald and I will
be giving up our phones, too.

Well, you will.

Look, the sooner
we get money,

the sooner we can get back
to our regular lives.

We need cash.
Ideas.

Ooh, I can make some desserts,
and we can have a bake sale.

Great, that'll buy us
a lamp.

Hey, why don't you do
a stunt like that guy on TV?

You know, the one who made
a whole bunch of money

for walking on a tightrope
across the Grand Canyon.

Oh, I see where you're
goin' with this.

Find that guy
and Rob him.

Or...

Big d. Can do
a similar stunt.

We can't Rob
Mr. Davenport, he's broke.

Were you not listening?

That kind of stunt could
attract a huge sponsor

that would have enough money
for us to build a new lab.

That's a great idea, Leo.

Just give me my cut
when you get your money.

You know what?
I've been working

on a prototype
fiberglass jet wing.

It uses two
micro-jet engines

to allow a human being
to fly like an airplane.

Check it out.

This is it.

I, Donald Davenport,

will attempt the first ever
jet wing flight

over mission creek.

Oh, no, I am not letting my husband
do something that dangerous...

You could host the exclusive
pay-per-view Webcast.

- Up, up and away.
- All right!

Are you sure about this?

That thing hasn't
even been tested.

I can't let
my family suffer anymore.

Then skip the jet wing
and give us our phones back.

Look, we need to find
sponsors quickly.

I'm on it.

You're looking at
the top donation collector

for the school's
save the gym campaign.

Four dollars
and 16 cents.

Okay, Leo, you can
hunt for sponsors.

Yeah, we're gettin'
our lab back!

No, you guys, again,
I'm just airin' 'em out.

Oh, goody,
dirk and widget are here.

Um, what do you need
us for on a Saturday

that can't be done
on a regular school day?

I need you to be
my bionic servants.

Oh, good.
For a second there,

I thought this was gonna be
a waste of our time.

Hey, if daddy no-bucks
can't pay me

to keep your bionic secret,

I'm gettin' my money's worth
out of you two.

Look, we're supposed
to go watch our dad

perform this big
jet wing stunt today.

He's been preparing
for it all week.

Aw, I'm sowwy.

This isn't fair.

Well, neither is paying for


when you've only sucked
the jelly out of one of 'em.

Don't you have janitors
to do this stuff for you?

Yeah, but they're at my house
trying to make something

look like an accident.

So I'm gonna have you two
do their work for them.

That's illegal.

So is being a robot.

We are not robots.

We are bionic.

That's exactly what
a robot would say.

Anyway, the gym is trashed

after last night's
basketball game,

and my midnight
"book club."

So I'm gonna need
you two to clean it up

before school on
Monday morning.

Speed feet,
you're on trash duty.

Lurch, come with me.

There's something
under the bleachers

I need dug up
and reburied.

Come on, boy.
Come on, boy, come on.

I still can't believe you only
landed one sponsor, Leo.

You're lucky I got one.

Do you have any idea
how hard it is

to get a sponsor for an old
guy who thinks he can fly?

The best you could do was
go-go global pack and ship?

Yep. Now you only get
paid if you survive.

But if you don't, they'll ship
your remains to your home state

for free, Alaska
and Hawaii not included.

You're also
contractually obligated

to say "go-go global pack and
ship" throughout your flight.

That's gonna be
hard for him.

He's not used to promoting
anything but himself.

All right, two minutes
to launch.

Big d., are you okay?
You look a little nervous.

I'm not sure
I can do this, Leo.

Of course you can do this.

You're Donald Davenport,
and the Donald Davenport I know

doesn't let anything
get in the way

of protecting his family.

You're right, Leo.

I'm doing this
for my family.

I got this.

Okay, guys, we're about
to start the Webcast.

Tasha Davenport presents

"look out below:
A jet wing catastrophe."

Oh, for...

It's just for ratings.

Your helmet-cam
is up and running.

I'll man mission control,
and cue you when it's time

to release your parachute
for the landing.

Okay.

- Ready to roll, big d.?
- I can do this.

I can do this.

The world waits
with bated breath.

As Donald Davenport,

husband of witty, yet personable
reporter Tasha Davenport,

prepares to launch
for the first ever

jet wing flight
across mission creek.

Before I launch,

I would like to take a moment,
maybe longer,

and, uh, thank everybody
for coming out today.

It really means a lot,

and I see a lot of
familiar faces in the crowd.

And since I have time,

I would like to mention
you all by name.

Why is he stalling?

Doesn't really
matter to me.

I have the launch button.

Cynthia forrester.

Wow! How are
the kids...

Okay, how many
pounds of gum

can one school
possibly chew?

It's Saturday.
I'm not doing math.

What's wrong
with your arm?

Man, it's probably
just a twitch.

I use my right arm a lot.
It's my second-favorite.

See, this is what
Mr. Davenport was talking about.

You've been using
your bionics too much.

- Now you're starting to glitch.
- I'll be fine.

Let's get out of here and just
go watch Mr. Davenport's flight.

Nice work, you two.

Thanks for taking
that water fountain out.

I've been meaning to get
a coin operated one

before the next heat wave.

Great.
See you Monday.

Freeze. You two haven't gotten
through my personal to-do list.

Personal?

Principal Perry, we've
been using our bionics

a lot today,
and Mr. Davenport warned us...

Not my problem,
pinky man boots.

Now...

Use your super speed to go
get me some fresh guacamole

from Mexico.

Here you go.

"Hecho en Mexico."

Just wanted to make sure
you went the distance.

Cilantro?!

I hate cilantro.

Take it back.
Andale, andale.

You keep it.

Okay, either I just glitched,

or these lockers
are out to get me.

All right, fire face.

Years of using public showers
have left me with

with some fairly persistent
toenail fungus.

Light up that laser vision
and burn it off.

Aren't you afraid
I might burn off a toe?

Nah. I'm more worried about
separating the fungus

from the shoe.

Whoo!

You doin' all right
up there, big d.?

Yeah, I don't know
what I was worried about.

This is awesome.

But not as awesome as
the low, low prices

at go-go global
pack and ship.

We are gonna
make a fortune.

Tons of people are tuning in
to the live Webcast.

Of course they are.
I'm amazing.

But not as amazing
as shipping your valuables

with go-go global
pack and ship.

All right, enough coasting.

It's time for
some extreme free styling.

All right, world,
let's slather up this stunt

with some Davenport butter.

Mr. Davenport,
I wouldn't...

- Whoa, turbulence!
- [ Alarm beeping ]

What was that?

That was your parachute.

[ Screaming ]

Now, don't worry.
You'll be fine for the moment.

You'll just continue
at jet speed

until your wings
run out of jet fuel.

What happens then?

Then he'll crash.

Oh, no.
I'm gonna fall...

Faster than the prices at
go-go global pack and ship.

Famed reporter
Tasha Davenport here,

bringing you one of the most tense
moments in television history.

A live jet wing crash!

We have exclusive access
to mission headquarters,

where I'm sure they have
everything under control.

We're, uh...

We're mulling
our options.

Mulling
your options?

That is my husband
up there.

Hello. Somebody needs to
come up with a solution fast.

There is jet fuel
leaking inside my flight suit.

Nope, not jet fuel.

This is all my fault.

I had the idea
of sending him up there.

No argument here.

Mr. Davenport, we're just
gonna have to use our bionic...

Hi.

Chase, you can't
show the world

your bi... hi!

Stop saying bion-a-hi.

Call Adam and Bree
and get me out of the sky!

Well, we'd love to, but someone
took away our cell phone service.

Really? Guilt, now?

I'll run to school
and get Adam and Bree.

Keep his hopes up.

So, um...

What you gonna do tomorrow
if you make it?

[ Screaming ]

Get away from me, freak.

He keeps f*ring his lasers.

He's aiming for
my beauty cyst.

Principal Perry, calm down.
He's not attacking you.

Okay, he's attacking you.

Ah, dooley, help.

The machines are
turning against us.

We've gotta get my cats, and make
for my bunker in Sacramento.

Adam, what is going on?

We've been using our bionics
for Perry all day,

now we're glitching.

I am starting to think

that Mr. Davenport was
right about our capsules.

Okay, okay.

Okay, everybody focus.

This is an emergency.
Big d. Needs you.

Ooh, that's good.

Use 'em as bait
so us humans can get away.

They're not machines.

And Davenport
needs their help,

or he's a goner.

What? No, he can't
be a goner.

Don's my cash cow, and I'm
not done milking him yet.

We gotta get
there fast.

Saddle up, bessie.

You know what?
What do you say

we all just run?

Okay...

Okay, we've got
some serious problems.

Adam's heat vision's
glitching out,

Bree's bouncing
off the walls,

and I saw principal Perry's
bare feet.

Can I just say...
[ Screams ]

What's on his face?

It's a hubcap. It's the
only thing I could find

that would shield
my heat vision.

Ow! Ow! Ow!
Ow! Ow!

Chase, I can't
keep circling above you.

I'm almost out of fuel.
What's the plan?

I'm working on it.

I've run through
every possible scenario,

and they all end with the Donald
Davenport memorial bridge.

We can't just let him fall.
Use your magnetism app.

I can't. The jet wing is made
out of fiberglass, not metal.

We have to do something. The whole
reason he did this ridiculous stunt

- was to get the lab back for you guys.
- Leo's right.

Mr. Davenport put his life
on the line for us.

Yeah, plus, he's our dad.

Wait, technically,
he's not our dad.

Why are we here again?

You guys are gonna
have to use your bionics,

but not with
all these people around.

Okay, attention.

I'm gonna need everyone to clear
this space out immediately.

There are free snacks
inside.

Hey, guys, good news.
If he does crash,

we've got this adorable little
tote bag we can collect

his pieces with.

Adam, where did
you get that?

I found it on the side of the
road next to the hub cap.

Adam, that's not
a tote bag.

That's the parachute that fell
from Mr. Davenport's jet wing.

We gotta find a way
to get this to him.

Why don't we just give
it to him when he lands?

Hey, what if Adam uses his strength
to launch it back up to him?

Yes. I'll calculate
the coordinates,

and guide his throw.
Here.

All right, Mr. Davenport,
be on the lookout.

I'm sending up
your parachute.

Copy that.
I'm ready.

All right, here we go.

Three, two, one.

Adam, great job.
It's heading straight for him.

Oh, cool.
Let me see.

[ Screaming ]

Oops.

I think I'm gonna just
pull this back down.

[ Davenport screaming ]

Relax, Mr. Davenport,
I have a plan.

If your plan was to be
fatherless, it's working!

Why aren't you
saving him?

Can't any of you fly?

What do you do in that
basement all day?

Thanks for leaving me behind.

Why did you use
your super speed?

I didn't.

I can try to use
my molecular kinesis

to slow his descent, but he's
still gonna hit too hard.

Wait, we are in
the parking lot

of a shipping store.

We can use cardboard boxes
to break his fall.

And tape to put him
back together.

You heard him.
Let's go.

Guys, I'm out of fuel.

I'm trying not to use
my scared voice,

[ high-pitched ]
But it's slipping out.

Mr. Davenport,
I'm slowing you down

and they're building
a crash pad.

Try to aim for it.

It's working.
I'm slowing down.

I'll release the jet wing
so it won't crush me on impact.

All right,
we're good to go.

Boxes are set up
as a crash pad.

- Oh, no. I feel a glitch coming on.
- Got it.

Oh!

I bet she looks stupid.

Chase, what's wrong?

I think my bionics
are glitching, too.

[ Screaming ]
What's happening?

I'm free-falling again.

Five hundred feet.

Four hundred feet.

Do something!

It's working.
I'm gonna make it.

I'm gonna live.
[ Screaming ]

I'm falling again,
I'm not gonna make it.

My life is over!

What... no, I'm fine.
I'm okay, I'm okay.

Nope, I'm a goner.

[ Screaming ]

Aim for the boxes,
money bags.

One hundred feet.

[ Screaming ]

I can't control him
anymore.

[ Screaming ]

I think we've learned
something today.

Nobody covers a story
like Tasha Davenport.

Is he dead?

No.

Am I dead?

Unclear, but just to be safe,

we should probably
proceed with a burial.

I can't believe the media
is hailing principal Perry

as a hero just for
breaking my fall.

The real heroes are the nurses
who made that body cast.

I'm just happy
you're okay.

I'm really proud
of you, Leo.

If it wasn't for you,

I probably wouldn't have
gone through with that stunt.

It was nothin', big d.

But words are cheap,
and I still want my cut.

Look, the good news is,

we raised enough money
to build the new lab,

and Adam, Bree and chase
will be back in their capsules

in no time.

Yeah, the sooner,
the better.

Ow! Ow! Ow!