♪♪
Ugh. Okay. Toilet's clean.
Bathtub's clean,
sink is clean.
And may I just say,
you people are disgusting.
Here is your chore money.
Sweet!
I have enough money to see
the new pig zombie movie
and get a t-shirt.
Pig zombie: Cruise
ship m*ssacre in 3-d.
Hungry hogs on the high seas.
Leo, I don't want you
wasting your brain,
your money or your time
on that trash.
You are not going to see
pig zombies.
End of discussion.
Uh-uh.ut...
Mmmmrph!
Glad to see we were able
to talk this out.
Leo, I know you want
to be a superhero,
but that's the worst
costume ever.
I was cleaning the bathroom,
so I could get some money
to see my favorite movie.
But someone who shall
remain nameless...
Won't let me go.
Wait a minute.
You get paid money
just for cleaning stuff?
Oh, yeah.
Most kids have chores.
You clean things
around the house,
and then you get an allowance
from your parents.
I want money!!
Oh, I want a big
furry hat
so I can wear it
to scare animals.
You guys can
finish my chores.
There's no reason
for me to have money
since miss spank-manager
put a freeze on my fun account.
So where should we start?
Just look around the house
and see what needs
to be cleaned.
I got this.
Oh! That's where I left
my lucky floss!
If you use that,
I will hurl.
And then I will clean up
that hurl. Ka-ching!
Perfect!
[ Ding ]
You could eat off
of this floor.
Could, can, and will.
Wow. You guys just did
a day's worth of chores
in three minutes.
You know, if this whole mission
thing doesn't work out,
I can buy a minivan,
and we can open up
a cleaning service.
Here you go.
Oh, mama just got a new
pair of shoes.
I am now worth seven dollars.
I wish I knew how to count.
Just make sure you all spend
your money responsibly.
Oh! Hey, guys.
I got my new spray-on jeans!
How is that responsible
spending?
That's one for every day
of the month.
Narrator: The world's
first bionic superhumans.
They're stronger than us,
faster, smarter...
The next generation
of the human race is...
Living in my basement?
♪♪
♪♪
Hey, guys.
The neighbors are selling their
stuff in the front yard.
I spent my last five bucks
on this whole basket
of used socks!
You don't even wear socks.
Hello? Sock puppets.
I spent my chore money
starting my hideous babies
collection.
Here's lip-sore lizzy,
pink-eye Peggy,
and limited edition
triple-chin Chuck.
What'd you buy, chase?
I bought financial security.
That's right.
Just me and my money
for the rest of my life.
I'm saving every last dollar.
Friends come and go,
but money is forever.
Hey, guys. How's it going?
Great, now that you're back.
Money, money, money, money,
money, money, money.
Is someone cooking bacon?
Oh, Turkey bacon.
I'm cooking it
in my new bacon pack.
It's a bacon cooker!
On my back in a pack
in case I wanna snack.
I'm glad you guys
all love your chores
but you already
did everything.
You're gonna have
to wait until next week.
What?
No, no way.
I'm down to my last
two pairs of spray-on jeans.
And I have to get
that drooling Debbie doll.
She's part of a set
with barfy Betty.
How cute is she?
Now, now, now.
If only you had
saved your money.
You'd be feeling as secure as...
Oh, who am I kidding?
I need more money too.
Wait a minute.
Why don't we just
sell our things
like the neighbors did?
There is plenty of stuff around
here that no one uses.
Well, yeah, like,
this figurine.
Or this book.
Or this pillow.
Hey, I use that.
For what?
What? You asked.
[ Music box plays, warbling ]
Wish we could keep Tasha
in a box like that.
Eddie, this is a jewelry box
that Tasha's grandmother
gave her.
It's been broken for years,
and I am going to restore it,
and surprise her with it.
Yeah. I'm perfect.
Ooh! If you really wanna
surprise her,
let's split town and not leave
a forwarding address.
Only thing is, I have to find
a place to hide it
where she won't find it.
She goes in there.
There too.
Wha...
There. Now, Eddie, don't tell
anybody about this, okay?
You act like I enjoy
causing trouble.
Oh, by the way,
Tasha says she wishes
you were taller.
[ Loud groan ]
I'm gonna go out on a limb
and say something's wrong.
The new pig zombie movie
comes out this weekend
and I can't go.
Wait, did you say "pig zombie?"
This little piggy went home...
Both:
To eat your face!
[ Screams ]
No way! You like pig zombies?
Do I breathe? They're
only the greatest movies
in the history of movies
ever made ever.
I know! I memorized
every line by heart.
And my psychotic pig oink
is dead on.
[ Zombie squeal ]
Finally, I have somebody to
watch these movies with.
Bree hates them.
Adam's scared of them.
And chase always
ruins them with logic.
"A pig can't peel a banana,
a pig can't cr*ck a safe."
"A pig can't jump
an 18-Wheeler
over an unfinished
section of highway."
Duh, you just saw it happen.
You just saw it happen!
It's right there.
Wait, why can't you go
see the new one?
Because I...
Have no one to take me.
Well you do now.
We'll go see the
new one on Friday
and then Sunday
we'll watch
the big pig marathon on TV.
It'll be our pig zombie
porkapalooza.
Awesome!
You think we should
invite your mom?
No!
We should keep this
our little secret,
'cause she's more into the
vampire-cow flicks.
Yeah, thoseyeah.Good though.
I vant to chew your cud!
[ Moos ]
♪♪
Welcome to our
indoor yard sale.
Nice to touch,
pretty to hold,
but if you break it,
consider it sold.
Now this is a rare jar
of peanut butter.
Expired almost
three years ago.
[ Sniffs ]
I don't know if
anyone remembers,
but 2009 was a fantastic
year for peanuts.
You can have that
for 10 bucks.
Nothing says fashion
like meat on your back.
Hey, those are the best.
I have one just like it.
Did you just sell Adam's
bacon backpack?
That is so wrong and greedy
and underhanded of you.
I'll give you half
to buy your silence.
Didn't see a thing.
Hey, guys.
Look what I found stuffed
behind the shelf in the lab.
Oh, nice.
A jewelry box.
Oh, yeah. I was thinking we
could sell the bubble wrap,
but yeah,
we could sell this too.
[ Popping ]
I'll give you 30 bucks
for that old jewelry box.
Fine 50.
Okay. 70 bucks,
final offer.
Sold!
Who's the master negotiator?
This guy.
That was the
greatest movie ever.
A pig on water skis?
I did not see that coming.
Oh, and how about the part
when the pig disguised himself
as part of the midnight buffet?
No, no, no!
Stop talking!
Do you not know the phrase,
"spoiler alert?"
Oh, sorry, Eddie. I was just thinking
about the big surprise ending
where the main pig turns out to
have been dead the whole movie.
Oh! Shutting down!
Shutting down!
Oh, hey, let's keep
this quiet, remember?
We don't want anyone
to know we saw the movie.
It's our thing.
Right. Okay.
Hey, you wanna help me fix
your mom's jewelry box?
I would, but I have
something fun to do.
Wait, where'd it go?
I hid it right here
and now it's gone.
[ Warbling ] Well, maybe she found
it and threw it in the trash,
'cause it's such a cheap,
lame-o gift.
Eddie, two words.
Mute button.
Have you guys seen
a jewelry box?
Is it a little
brown wooden one
with a gold heart
on top of it?
Haven't seen it.
Nope, not me.
Me neither, ag... again.
I don't know what
happened to it.
It was Tasha's grandma's.
I was gonna fix it for her
and surprise her with it.
If you guys see it,
just let me know.
Sesee... t?
See, uh, that new reality
show about the dog
and the... and the bear.
They, uh, fall in love
and fight crime. It's adorable.
It's on TV right now.
Let's go watch it.
I can't believe we sold
Tasha's jewelry box.
I can't believe we
ruined his surprise.
I can't believe no one
bought this peanut butter.
[ Gags ]
Huh. Chunky.
Everything keeps
disappearing.
I can't find my favorite mug,
all the spoons are gone.
I had to eat my breakfast
cereal with a steak Kn*fe.
Yeah, I can't find my
pig zombie t-shirt anywhere.
Oh, that, I put
in the laundry
so it'd be fresh
for tomorrow's marathon.
Wait, you put what
in the who with where now?
Mom!
Or should I say, dearest woman
who constantly sacrifices
for my happiness.
Let me fold that for you.
Just fold that.
Leo, if I didn't
know any better,
I would think you
were looking for this!
"I survived pig zombie
Do you have something
to tell me?
That's not mine.
Extra small.
You have a tiny husband.
I love you?
♪♪
I can't believe you
went behind my back
and saw those freaky,
monster pig things.
And Leo, I can't believe you
let me take you to the movie
when your mom said no.
You knew about this?
Yeah, but I had no idea
you said he couldn't go
because he didn't tell me.
So you lied to both of us.
Oh, no. I lied to him.
I disobeyed you.
You're grounded.
No TV for a week.
I specifically told you
not to see that movie.
Come on, this isn't fair.
I don't like high-heeled shoes
and lady magazines,
but I don't tell you not to buy
them with your money.
Sorry, I was just trying to stop
him before he buried himself.
But I was way too late.
So, that neighbor who
bought the jewelry box
agreed to sell
it back to us.
Yes!
For $200.
Yes! Wait,
is that more than 70?
It's an antique,
so that's how much
he's selling it for.
What are we gonna do?
We don't have enough.
Well, we could sell
your stupid dolls.
Or, we could sell
your stupid face,
although I doubt
anyone would buy it.
And I'm not selling
my bacon backpack.
Not just because
I've looked everywhere
and I have no idea
where I put it.
You know, we don't have to give
up our money or our things
if chase coughed up a few
bucks from his wrist vault.
Are you kidding me?
I didn't sell Tasha's
jewelry box, Adam did.
Oh, I didn't want to sell it.
I wanted to sell
the bubble wrap.
We all agreed
to have a sale.
Now give us the money,
you greedy, little brat.
No, get away from me.
No one is getting near
my beautiful box of cash.
[ Loud whirr ]
Hey!
I'll take speed
over smarts any day.
[ Wind howls ]
[ Laughs ]
Lot of good that'll do her.
She doesn't have the key.
And neither do you.
[ Groans ]
Must... get... the money!
Must... get... the key!
There you are!
Aha!
Get her!
[ Both groan ]
Give me back my briefcase.
Never!
Okay, then.
[ Electricity crackling ]
[ Yells ]
Ha! Magnetism app.
Didn't see that coming,
did ya?
Get him!
[ Laughs ]
Try to get me now.
It's locked.
Oh, he thinks he's so smart?
We'll just use the dryer to blow
the money out of his hands.
[ Keyboard beeps ]
[ Loud fan whirrs ]
No, please!
Come back, old friends!
Come ba-a-ack!
Ha! Yeah!
Now let's suck the money
out by reversing the fan.
Adam, no!
We've got to stop it!
No!
No!
Oh, you were like,
Adam, no.
You were like, Adam, no.
The fan will shred the money.
Now I get ya.
Look at you showering
in your money.
I prefer to bathe in mine.
Adam and Bree stole my money
and turned it into confetti.
I was just trying to get
chase's money
to buy back
the jewelry box
that Adam sold.
That's right.
Chase's money.
Who's money?
Chase's money.
It was mine!
Is was all mine!
Whoa, back up.
Did somebody say jewelry box?
Both:
Adam sold it!
All right, you guys
have exactly two seconds
to explain what's going
on starting now.
We saw Leo had chores
and earned money,
so we wanted chores
to get money,
we cleaned the whole house,
there was nothing left to clean,
so we had no chores
and no money...
[ Increasing dialogue speed ]
And that's what happened.
What? You said
two seconds.
We're sorry,
Mr. Davenport.
We were doing chores
to make money
but we wanted more money.
So, we held a yard sale.
In the house.
You let people
in the house?
Now, I know what you're
thinking, but don't worry.
Only one person took
a nap in your bed.
When we found out the jewelry
box was important,
we fought over all the money
just to buy it back.
How could you sell
my things?
Oh, it's super easy.
You just put signs up
and people go nuts.
I mean, they show up
before you're even ready.
Look, guys, money can make
people greedy and selfish.
I mean, I know it's hard
to tell looking at me
because over the years
I've learned to hide it
with my debonair
outer charm.
We can get
the jewelry box back
we just need $200.
For that piece of junk?
I mean, uh,
that's reasonable.
But you guys are gonna have
to work off that $200
by doing every filthy,
disgusting chore
in the house for a month.
No problem.
Without using your bionics.
That's a problem.
It's not a problem for me.
I've got two helpers.
I love to clean!
Scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub.
Seriously, Mr. Davenport,
I will donate some
of my brain cells
just to even things
out a little bit.
♪♪
Well, it's 5:00.
Aren't you missing
pig zombie spring break:
Pigs gone wild?
Yeah, but, it won't be
the same without Leo.
Look, I know he lied,
but it was really cool
bonding with him
over those things.
The pig zombie movies
were our thing.
We finally had a... thing.
I have an idea.
You wanna watch
pig zombies with me?
I knew you would
come around.
Score! Yes.
Oh, honey, no.
I'm a grown up.
[ Loud squealing, explosions ]
Aaaah!
[ Laughter ]
I still don't understand
how you convinced mom
to let me watch this
marathon with you.
Ha. It was easy.
I just told her that instead
of grounding you for a week,
she should let
you watch this.
And then ground
you for a month.
You did lie.
Oh, I was kinda hoping
you forgot about that.
Yeah, I kinda didn't.
But nice try though.
Still, this is
totally worth it.
I thought so.
[ Laughs ]
Talk about a pork chop.
[ Squeals ]
[ Both scream ]
All right,
keep 'em closed.
Keep 'em closed.
All right.
[ Thunk ]
Ow!
Watch where
you're going.
All right, sit down.
There you go.
Okay.
And... open 'em!
All:
Surprise!
Oh!
You fixed my grandmother's
jewelry box!
It took a long time,
but Leo and I painstakingly
restored it
to its original
condition.
Emphasis on the
painstaking part.
That is so sweet
of you guys.
All: Oh!
I'll clean that up.
For five bucks.
01x13 - Chore Wars
Watch/Buy Amazon Merchandise
A young teenager named Leo Dooley lives a normal life until the day his mother Tasha gets married to billionaire inventor Donald Davenport, with whom they move in.
A young teenager named Leo Dooley lives a normal life until the day his mother Tasha gets married to billionaire inventor Donald Davenport, with whom they move in.