03x08 - Infectious Personality/Trash Talk

[bunniefuu]

[Jenny]
♪ 5:00, get a call
to go blading ♪

♪ at the skate park
down by the mall, ♪

♪ but my mom says ♪

♪ I gotta prevent
hostile aliens ♪

♪ from annihilating us all. ♪

Hyah!

♪ With the strength
of a million and 70 men, ♪

♪ I guess I really
shouldn't complain. ♪

♪ Still, I wish I could
go for a walk ♪

♪ without rusting
in the rain. ♪

♪ It's enough
to fry my brain. ♪

♪ So welcome to my life
as a teenage robot, ♪

♪ the story of my life
as a teenage robot. ♪

♪ My teenage robot life. ♪

[alarm blaring]

Sonar signals can't decipher it.

Radar signals unclear.

I can't see anything either.

Oh, wait a minute.

It's an
asteroid shower.

Commence defensive measures.

[screams]

Wait.

There's a robot girl
flying up to the asteroids.

[silence]

[imitating golf announcer]
She selected a club.

She addresses
the rock...

And destroys it.

Oh, looks like
she sliced that one...

in half.

A hole in one.

A hole in
another one.

Four.

[all]
Hooray!

What a mess.

Not my problem.

I'm a hero,
not a space janitor.

All right!

Am I too late
for lawn bowling?

[coughing]

Whoa, "Pig Pen,"
what's with the dust cloud?

bang!

[spots pop]

They don't have baths
in outer space?

Cool.
I'm there.

bang!

[spots pop]

Hey, what's with
the spots?

Hello?

Are you guys okay?

Um, I gotta...
I think that...

that somebody's
watching us.

Watching us lawn bowling?

Tuck, what's going on?

Are you okay?

[passing gas]

Gesundheit?

The skin on my face
feels so loose.

[gasps]
Who did this?
Did you do this?

[passing gas]

[giggles]

Hey, Jen.

Great job with
those asteroids.

Is there some kind of
bug going around?

Brad and Tuck are acting
kind of weird.

Brad and Tuck
are kind of weird.

I wouldn't worry.

bang!

[spots pop]

[passing gas]

Whoo-hoo!
A strike.

What's wrong
with Tuck?

Why is his bottom
yelling at me?

I'm frightened.

[passing gas]

[laughing]

This is awesome.

[passing gas]

Catch you later, baby.

zoom!

[siren wailing]

Jen, listen up.

You and me,

we're ditching
these losers

and hitting
the rose garden.

You're allergic
to flowers.

thud!
[growling]
Flowers.

I hate flowers!

[growling]

[spitting]

thud!
thud!

thud!
thud!

[teeth chattering]

[Tuck passing gas]

Wheee!

Ahh!

Whee!

Ahh!

Here, Sheldon.

Maybe I better
take your temp--

All right.
You're coming with me.

Whatever
this thing is,

you need some kind
of treatment.

[Tuck]
Whee!

Oh!

[Tuck passing gas]

[Nora hums]

[Nora humming]

bang!

crash!

[glass shattering]

Mom, the boys are
acting really weird.

First Brad
started freaking out,

and then Tuck was farting
so hard, he was flying,

and Sheldon went mental
on some flowers, and--

Stop!

This is
intolerable.

You're filthy.

Never mind that, Mom.

The boys need help.

We were out at the park,

when suddenly
they started changing.

The park, eh?

Clean yourself up, XJ9.

You're going to get dust
all over my house.

Hmm, I don't see
any signs of an outbreak.

That's odd.

There's usually
a geographical component

to these things.

But the only common thread
between your friends is...

you.

Uh-oh.

bang!

[spots pop]

Mom!

What's going on?

It's like I'm
some kind of typhoid Jenny,

infecting everyone I touch.

[coughing]

Oh, Mom!

I've never been
an epidemic before.

What do I do?

In classic epidemiology...

you have to remove the source
of the infection, but...

[gag]

What?

ButI'm the source
of the infection.

Mom, snap out of it.
I need you.

And I need
a strawberry pizza.

Oh, and some onion dip.

Mom, this is serious.

Abso-potively.

That's why we need

chocolate-covered
brussels sprouts now.

Ugh.
She's lost it.

What am I gonna do?

I have to stop this
from spreading.

I've got to isolate myself,

out of Tremerton,

away from people.

[gasps]
I've got to leave Earth forever.

Or just find a cure.

Oh, right.

Now, I'm going to
look for a cure,

and I want you all
to stay here and behave.

Okay?

[growling]
[teeth chattering]

Good.

And so I put on this suit
so I won't infect anyone else,

but my friends and family
need help.

They're becoming
monsters.

Really?

Well, I think I know someone
who can help you.

It's like
some bizarre force

is transforming everyone
I come in contact with--

mutating them.

Right.

You're beyond
my help,

but I know someplace
you'll feel at home.

[Jenny]
And then my other friend
became totally paranoid,

and now he's
afraid of his own shadow.

Oh, yeah, episode 67
from the third season.

Sergeant Flex
got all crazy

and ate
his left arm.

And it was all because
he was infected with...

[together]
Space dust.

Space dust?

Yep.
It comes from asteroids.

That's it!

It wasn't me.
It was the dust.

Whoa.
She shed her exoskeleton.

I'm in love.

[sneezes]

[growling]

[roars]

bang!
bang!

bang!
[Tuck passing gas]

bang!

[passing gas]

What are you
looking at?

Stop staring at me.

Ahh!

splat!

Ahh!

Those boys are
going to make trouble.

Me be good.

Stay home,
make microwave popcorn.

[alarm sounds]

Microwave popcorn!

Oops.
Too much butter.

[growling]

[with French accent]
Monsieur, zer ees no v*olence
among ze flowers.

A monster!

[screaming]

[screaming resumes]

[passing gas]

bang!

You're all out
to get me.

You're in on it.

You're in on it.

You're in on it.

And you're in on it.

Abort, abort!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Mommy, look.

It's Thanksgiving.

[passing gas]

[glass shatters]

The asteroids were coming
from this direction when--

[gasps]
Another asteroid.

Not so fast, buddy.

Your dust is
making my friends sick,

and I want some answers...

or else.

Stop!

Please don't destroy
any more of our homes.

What?

These asteroids
are our homes.

When you destroyed
those other asteroids,

you sent hundreds of us
into the cold of space.

I didn't know.

To survive, we need
warm environments,

like your friends' bodies.

But what's with
all the weird changes?

Well, you know,

you move into a fixer-upper,

and you start rearranging.

What a dump.

Move those neurons
over there.

Lift with your legs,
not your back.

Yes, dear.

Oh, my gosh.

I wasn't just
the carrier.

I caused
all of this.

But the changes
aren't permanent.

Offer my comrades
a good, comfy asteroid,

and I'm sure they'd abandon
their host organisms.

Well, what are we
waiting for?

Let's go.

Help!

One more toot,
and I'll launch into space.

boink!

I'm cured!

Thank you,
mister big, ugly rock.

Ahh!

[screaming]

boink!

[laughing]

I give, I give.
Don't hit me!

boink!

Oh, hey, Jen.
What's up?

[alarm blaring]

boink!

There.

That's the last of them.

Why am I
glowing?

Well, I'm glad you got

your comrades back.

And I'm glad
you got everyone

returned to normal.

thud!
thud!

[maniacal laughter]

[Brad]
Mr. Barky stays for free.

Lucky for me, your hotel
fell into a sinkhole.

Ah, but you forgot about
my other hotel.

What?
What other hotel?

Right over here.

Hey, I saw that,
you little cheat.

Cheat?

You're the one who took
two turns in a row.

Ugh--I took two turns
because I rolled doubles.

Oh, you rolled doubles.
You were using a spinner.

[Brad]
This from a guy who moves his
thimble to a bonus square

when I'm
not looking.

If you're not looking,
how would you know?

Time out,
guys.

Time out!

It's just a game.
It's not worth fighting over.

Besides, according to rule 15,
paragraph 2,

you lose your turn
for taking too long.

I get a free bonus card
and a free spin.

One, two, three,
four, five--I win!

Oh, no, you don't,
bolt brain.

You're not winning
on a technicality.

Yeah, we want a rematch,
aluminum butt.

Any time,
any place, chump.

[alarm blares]

Uh-oh.
Hold on.

It's a distress signal
from out beyond Jupiter.

Looks like that rematch
will have to wait.

What?
That old excuse?

Oh, no.
I want my rematch now.

Hey, I'm
a busy superhero.

I have someone
to rescue.

I can't stand around
arguing with you guys all day.

Besides,
I already won.

[Brad]
Bolt brain!

[Tuck]
Robo-cheater!

[Brad]
Aluminum butt!

Look, I told
you guys

I didn't want
to argue about this.

No, you didn't.

You said you didn't want
tostand around and argue.

We're clearly
not standing.

That's why we
borrowed these suits.

Borrowed?

Is that what
you're calling it?

Ugh, are you suggesting
that they were stolen?

Well, they didn't
magically appear.

You mean like your hotels?

Hey, that was a legitimate--

[sniffing]

Ugh.
What's that awful smell?

Uh, I don't smell anything.

It's coming from
that asteroid.

So is the distress signal.

Man, this place
is a dump,

literally.

[reverse signal beeping]

[all]
Ugh!

Thank goodness it didn't
land on us.

squish!

The first one
to cr*ck a joke

gets a kick
in the shin.

[Brad]
Because when you
say something stupid,

like "Well, at least
it didn't land on us,"

it's like asking for it
to land on you.

[Tuck]
And I suppose I was "asking"
for you to steal

my "get out of
the slammer free" card too.

[electronic transmission]
Help!
Help!

I'm trapped.
I'm beneath a pile of garbage.

It has
a pink ribbon on top.

Yes, that's right.
Uh, that one right there.

Hurry, please.

I'm running out of, uh, oxygen.

She sounds cute.

She sounds familiar.

She sounds like
she's in trouble.

thunk!

Help!
Help!

[maniacal laughter]

What the heck is this thing?

Yow!

[blowing raspberry]

[suspenseful music]

Vexas!

Yes, that's right.

Vexas, Vexas Lexas.

It's been a long time, XJ9.

Not long enough.

[creaking]
crash!

Yes, my snookums' bite
does cause paralysis,

paralyzing paralysis,

but it only lasts a short time.

Luckily, I have a few more.

[both]
Yikes!

Hey!

She's
too heavy!

I thought you were going to lay
off those motor oil shakes.

What are you saying?

thud!

Help!

Ahh!

Whee!

Let's take this thing on
the dive and run.

Are you kidding?

We have to head
for higher ground.

Whatever.

Just slow down!

Right!
Left!

Look out!

[all]
Ahh!

Ah, decomposing sewage
never smelled so sweet.

Ow, you landed
right on me.

What are you
going to do,

charge me
rent again?

Hey, you're
looking better.

Oh, something's
still wrong.

That thing left part of
its stinger in your hand.

[Tuck]
Now what are we supposed to do?

You were our ride home.

How should I know?

I thought you had
all the answers,

Miss "I read
the rules."

Ah!
Smytus!

[Brad and Tuck]
This way.

No, this way.

We don't have time to argue.

Is that in
the rule book?

Just admit you're wrong,
Cheaty Petey.

Look out!

zap!

[chuckling]

[all]
Ahh!

bang!

Always making
life difficult.

I didn't mean
to get paralyzed.

Well, it sure wasn't my idea

to stick your hand
down that hole.

[all gasp]

[Jenny]
It's--it's--
Krackus?

[deranged laughter]

[laughing]

Oh, it's
just Krackus.

'Cause the way
you guys gasped,

I thought it was,
like, Vexas again.

I know, totally.

Hey, I only gasped
because you gasped.

Well, what do you think?
Should we just go around?

Huh, we could.

I think we should just
go down the way we came.

Hey!

I'm just as dangerous
as Smytus

or Vexas.

I'm a real thr*at.

I'm the one you should be
worried about.

Humph.
I'll show them.

slam!

clang!

[both]
Ugh!

Since I was banished
from Cluster Prime,

I've been trapped
on this filthy asteroid,

surrounded by nothing but
trash and idiots.

Hey!

Someone of lesser fortitude

would have been driven mad
by now.

Isn't that right,
Mr. Billows?

Which one of us
is Billows?

I thought
you were Billows.

I don't get it.

Why can't you just
fly off this rock?

I can't fly,
thanks to you.

This is what happened
last time we met.

[Smytus]
That's nothing.

Look at what that robot girl
has done to Smytus.

Half of my beautiful body
is nothing but

used tongue depressors
and rubber bands.

That's some of
my best work, admittedly.

But you try working with
critters nesting inside you.

Wait a second, Krackus.

You can build
an interstellar transmitter,

a stasis field restraint,

a set of cyber-netic
spider legs, all from garbage,

but you can't build a space ship
to get off this asteroid?

Huh, I can so build a spaceship
out of garbage.

It's the power supply
that's the problem.

[panting]

But with XJ9 captured,

we have all the power we need.

[sizzling]

You monsters!

Once I've drained XJ9,

we can fuel my spaceship
and escape this garbage dump.

What?

You said you were going to use
the power to rebuild my body.

My queen, talk some sense
into this oaf.

[Vexas]
Silence!

There isn't going to be any
spaceship or new body.

Even as we speak,

I'm diverting the power
to a mega-b*mb.

A b*mb so mega,
it will destroy this asteroid

and everything on it.

See?

I hid it so
no one would find it.

Uh, but won't we
be destroyed as well?

Don't you think
I thought of that?

I built a lifeboat

out of coffee cans
and old office supplies.

See?
It's even got a Jacuzzi.

Psst, Smytus,

if you distract her,
there's still time

for me to divert the power
to the spaceship.

[growling]

To your body.

I mean to rebuild
your body.

I'm through
playing games with you.

crunch!

You're through playing,
are you?

Then dance for me!

Dance!

[maniacal laughter]

bang!

Quit fooling around.

You have to
help me

pick out curtains
for the lifeboat.

What are you talk--

No one makes a fool
out of me.

Get off of me,
you spider-legged imbecile.

[villains arguing]

Man, do they have
some issues to work out.

[continued arguing]

[alarm rings]

Oh, good.
My b*mb is done.

[ticking]

Looks like
your time is up.

[gasps]
They've escaped!

They must be destroyed.

There's no more room
on the lifeboat.

Wait.

Why are we helping Vexas

if she's only going to
blow us all up?

You fool.
We still need XJ9's power.

[suspenseful music]

Quick.
Up here.

It's a dead end.

We're trapped.

[growling]

[both]
No, we still need her power.

[zapping]

[rumbling]

Oh, bother.

[sludge gushing]

We gotta get off this asteroid
before it explodes.

We've got bigger things
to worry about.

[rumbling]

Well, I think
the whole asteroid exploding

is slightly
more important.

If we don't outrun
this avalanche,

we're not going to
be around to see it.

[arguing]

Knock it off!

I got a plan,
but I need your help.

Okay?

Got it.
Yep.

[timer ticking]

I see one.

Bearing five, four, niner, zero.

[timer beeping]

[reverse signal beeping]

[rumbling]

[timer ticking]

slurp!

[timer beeping]

[hamster squeaking]

[ticking faster]

Meow, meow,
meow, meow.

[Tuck]
All right!

That'll be 50 glarpeks,
pussycat.

[haughtily]
Meow, meow.

Meow, meow,
meow, meow.

Oh, doubles.

Meow, meow,
meow.

Read the rules?

None of us
can read cat-mandu.

[all arguing]