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01x08 - Mac-sic-cle

Posted: 01/12/14 11:09
by bunniefuu
(Monkey chatters)

You've got to do something. Change her back!

Last time I tried, it didn't work.

If animal control takes her, that's it.

Lily's never changing back.

I know.

I think the monkey's in the cafeteria.

Emma, you're not supposed to be here.

Hurry. Go, go, go.

As a monkey, you've got a strong will, but cooperate and just stay still.

No!

Andi, let go.

You're gonna hurt yourself.

Lily, please!

Aren't you worried animal control will take you away forever?

I said let go.

What's wrong with you?

I'm just, uh, t-terrified of monkeys a-and apes and orangutans.

I have agrizoophobia.

Agrizoophobia?

Fear of wild animals?

That's a real thing?

I mean... I mean, yes, yes.

And let me tell you, it is bad.

Then why are you holding me back?

Why are you not running away from the monkey?

Stay, Lily.

Stay.

Here goes nothing.

I have the power to break Maddie's spell.

Make Lily human again and all will be well.

(Zapping)

The monkey should be right...

(Upbeat pop music)

♪ I cast a spell ♪
♪ it takes a hold of you ♪
♪ I see my dreams ♪
♪ and they're all coming true ♪
♪ come on, let's go ♪
♪ you and me together ♪
♪ look up ahead ♪
♪ there's a magical adventure ♪
♪ Every Witch Way, ay, ay, ay, ay ♪
♪ I'm trying Every Witch Way, ay, ay, ay, ay ♪
♪ I'm going Every Witch Way, ay, ay, ay, ay ♪
Every Witch Way

You shouldn't be in here.

Nurse Lily?

Lily!

Um, can I have some grapes?

Emma, get away from there.

Where's the smoke coming from?

Farewell, Xavier.

I miss you so much already.

There's a monkey on the loose.

We've evacuated the school, except for these two.

I have...

I don't want to hear about that you have agrizoophobia, okay?

I've heard your conversations about how you want a pet tiger.

(Sighs)

The monkey was last seen in here.

Well, it's not anymore.

I've been here for a while and haven't seen it.

Why don't you take the girls outside while we look for the monkey?

Mom, they sent us home because there is a wild animal loose at school.

Well, first, that stinky smoke and now a wild animal?

What is going on at that school these days?

Yeah, it's been like a zoo there lately.

Yeah, the whole place was bananas.

So are you excited for fake book club tonight at Mr. Francisco's house?

Oh, yes.

It's going to be... Wait.

How do you know about that?

It's on the school blog.

Gigi overheard you.

I can't believe you're dating someone who's both my teacher and my enemy's dad.

Are you trying to ruin my life?

No, I am trying to make it better.

I'm going over there tonight to get the hexerin.

By process of elimination, that girl has to have it.

She does, but don't waste any of your time.

She'll bring it to me as soon as animal control catches her little friend.

That's not going to happen.

Look, gigi just posted a picture of the animal control people leaving the school empty-handed.

But she still needs me to turn the monkey back into the nurse.

(Gasps)

Maddie! You didn't.

I had to.

The nurse is helping Emma with her magic.

I had to stop her.

Besides, we'll get the hex-asaurus Rex out of it.

Uh, not anymore.

Look.

There's the nurse back to normal.

(Gasps)

She broke your spell?

I thought that was hard to do.

At your age, it's almost impossible.

You're right.

Emma has to be getting help from that nurse.

It's okay.

I already have a new plan.

Mom, call your friends and let them know that we're having book club here instead.

Well, I only invited Francisco, so...

Well, if this is going to work, you need to actually make fake book club seem legit.

Invite some other people.

Ugh, fine.

Was it so awesome being able to climb on top of anything and eat all the bananas you want?

I'm not sure what it was.

I don't remember much.

What I do know is, Maddie's getting out of control.

I am sending a report to the witches' council asap.

(Upbeat piano music)

What's that piece of junk?

A guardian's magic tablet: The g.M.T.

Emma, how did you convince Maddie to turn me back into a human?

Well, at first, she wanted me to give her the Hexerin, but I knew you wouldn't want me to, but then somebody called animal control, and I felt I had no choice, but then the book was at home, and you were in the cafeteria about to be caught, so I had to do it myself.

And... (Both inhale)

Breathe. (Both exhale)

You broke Maddie's spell?

Yep.

Wow. And no one saw you?

Yep.

Wait, actually, I think coach Julio might have seen me do it.

Wow. I mean what?

So Maddie's mom is paying you to babysit Daniel's uncontrollable siblings?

Yes.

And that's not strange to you?

Andi, strange has a whole new meaning now, so you're going to have to be more specific.

I think it's suspicious.

Well, I already said yes, so I'm not turning another gig down.

You mean not turning Daniel down.

No.

I mean, that might be an unintentional side effect.

Yeah, well you do realize they're called "the terrible three" for a reason, right?

Yes, and I have magical powers, so I think we're even.

Still, you're gonna have to be prepared.

Okay, let's see. (Sighs)

You're gonna need hockey pads, industrial-strength detergent, and night vision goggles.

Where am I gonna get any of that?

Hello? Have you met me?

Be right back.

Okay, so the shoe will kick the ball that falls on the lever that pops the balloon that releases the...

Overly complicated as always.

Well, how would you describe it?

Oh.

Kkkch, pew, bop-ch, pew!

Ta-da!

I like her explanation better.

(Doorbell rings) She's here.

Sorry, Maddie, but it's payback time.

There's extra helmets in the garage.

That's okay, Emma. I'll get it.

Emma?

Dad, no!

Splat!

Oh!

Ugh!

Mom, we have a problem.

Not now, Julio.

I'm feeding my lovelies.

(Gasps) Here you go, Charlotte, for good behavior.

Charlotte? Charlotte the volleyball coach?

She wanted money for new knee pads.

Rolled-up tube socks and duct tape worked just fine in my day.

I don't know what she was complaining about.

Listen, the monkey wasn't really a monkey.

It was the school nurse that had been transformed into a monkey.

Who cast that spell on her?

I don't know, but that new girl, the math teacher's daughter...

Emma?

Yes.

She turned her back into a human.

I knew it!

I told you I'd find out on my own, Sebastian.

Now you guys clean this up while I go fish out cereal flakes from my hair.

They don't put this stuff in those parenting books.

What was that?

It wasn't meant for dad or you or Emma.

Then who was it for?

Maddie.

Dad said a babysitter was coming over, so we assumed it was her.

Well, you heard dad.

Get the mops, get the soap, and just clean this place up.

Okay. Come on, let's go.

(Suspenseful hip-hop music)

♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ ah-ah, ah, ah ♪
♪ ah-ah, ah, ah ♪
♪ ah-ah, ah, ah-ah ♪
♪ ah-ah, ah, ah ♪

(Sighs)

I can't believe I forgot my keys...

Again.

(Sighs)

That poster looks a little crooked.

All better.

Emma, the terrible three have something they want to say.

It's okay.

No.

Let them take responsibility for their actions.

We're sorry.

That wasn't cool of us.

We thought Maddie was babysitting, and we do not like her.

But we like you.

So does Daniel.

He talks about you all the time.

Ow.

Apology accepted.

And if I can give you a bit of advice, steer clear of using milk in your traps.

Otherwise, you'll be smelling rotten milk for decades in the garage.

Write that down.

All right, who's ready to build the ultimate booby trap with Uncle Mac?

Yes!

What'd I miss?

Do you think that you could, um, watch my siblings while I walk Emma home?

But no booby traps.

(Whines) Oh.

Oh-hoo-hoo.

Fine.

(Clears throat)

Uh, Emma?

Bye.

Well, she certainly likes to scrapbook.

(Gasps)

Is this her mom?

She's pretty.

(Gasps) Don't touch that.

We don't want to leave too many fingerprints.

How could Daniel like someone who loves glitter so much?

Uh, Maddie?

What?

The book we're looking for, it's really big, really old, and it glows?

Yeah.

(Gasps) You found it!

Grab it!

I can't! See?

Booky, booky, booky, come here.

Shh, shh.

Come here, booky.

Come here, Mr. hexe...

I got it! (Both giggle)

(Door clicks shut)

(Both gasp)

Someone's home.

What's all this?

Oh, my dad was going to host Mrs. van pelt's book club here, but he just texted that she's hosting instead.

Oh, right.

That's where my parents are.

Why do you say it like that?

Well, because I've never seen a single book at the van pelts' house.

Yeah.

I have a feeling it's an elaborate trick to get my dad to spend time with her.

I'm glad they're not here, 'cause...

There's something I want to tell you.

Yes, Danny?

This can't be happening.

He must be under some kind of spell.

Maddie!

Help!

And she called him "Danny."

Nobody calls him "Danny" but me.

So as the captain of the sharks, I get this really cool old-school jacket with a big letter "I" on it.

It stands for "iridium."

It's called a...

A...

Letter jacket?

Yeah, that.

And I wanted to know if maybe, you know, You... I...

Can I have some water?

Okay.

That's it.

She's unleashed the witch!

He'll say "yes" when he means "no,"

"left" when he means "right."

Daniel won't say what he means, try as he might.

Thanks.

Okay, I'm just gonna say it.

I think you're really ugly, the ugliest girl I've ever seen.

I am?

You do?

I mean, it's awful, and I would never want to give you my letter jacket.
(Gasps)

Emma, you wouldn't believe the night I've had.

That was the most bizarre book club...

Hey, Daniel.

It's nice, I suppose, to see you.

Daniel was just leaving, dad.

Great.

I mean, go ahead, then.

Was babysitting all right?

It was awful!

Really? I'm sorry to hear that.

I mean, um, Emma's a horrible babysitter.

I am so not sorry.

I know exactly what I'm saying.

So I'm just gonna keep talking and stand right here.

I am so not sorry.

I am.

I thought we were friends.

We're not.

Glad we cleared that up.

I still can't believe how I just flew out of that window.

Yeah, I'm surprised you didn't let go.

I don't think I had a choice.

It bit down on my fingers.

I don't think it likes you.

Oh, please. Books don't have...

(Gasps)

See? You hurt its feelings.

Maddie?

Did you get it?

Get what?

The hexerin!

Don't you remember our plan?

You were supposed to go over to Emma's house and find it while I distracted her father?

Oh, was that what we were supposed to be doing?

Maddie, do you mean to tell me that I bought all those books for nothing?

You could actually read them.

(Scoffs) Don't be ridiculous.

Whoa!

Is there a hidden flame inside the bottom of that glass?

Nope. It's just my finger.

(Puffs)

First I was freezing stuff, and now I am boiling it!

Is this some awesome side effect of puberty that only lucky people get?

Maybe. Some guys get zits.

I get superpowers.

You don't think you get zits?

Yeah, okay.

Check this out. Ready?

How did you do that?

I don't know.

I just know that it's awesome.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

I don't like that look.

What look?

The one that says you're thinking.

Nothing good could come out of you thinking too much.

I'm just trying to figure out a way we can use this to our advantage.

Ah.

Uh, sorry, just a second.

Actually, I like your thinking.

I could use a sidekick.

Sweet!

We're totally gonna rule...

The universe!

I was thinking the school, but, sure, the universe.

I don't get it.

Why didn't you tell your mom you have the hexerin?

Katie, what do I always tell you about holding out on people?

That you should always hold out on people.

Precisely.

I have to know what the book has to offer before I let her know that I have it.

Just remember: Be nice to the book.

The book is sensitive.

Love it. Cuddle it.

Hey, Lily.

Funny how we keep running into each other here.

What?

You know, the other day, you were in here.

What happened to your hand?

Um, uh, just a little freak accident at the pool.

What happened?

Um, a kickboard flew out of Diego's hands and hit me right in the knuckles.

Well, nothing seems broken.

Well, thank you.

Thanks for checking.

Anytime.

He was just really rude and mean.

Daniel?

No way. He's the nicest guy ever.

I mean, if he wasn't so athletic and good-looking, he'd be getting atomic wedgies and bathroom afros all the time.

Emma.

I need to see you in my office.

Did she do anything wrong?

I just want to speak to Emma about the extracurricular activities we offer.

But I have class!

I'll write you a note.

Ooh, can you write me a note too?

No.

You, get to class.

Emma, with me.

Wait a minute.

Emma, you have your yearly checkup right now.

Actually, she has a very important meeting with me...

Right now.

More important than a health checkup?

Yes!

There was something I had to tell you.

The monkey spell must have knocked it out of me.

Not much of a guardian, are you?

"You're in danger, but I can't remember from who or what!"

That's it!

There's someone powerful and evil after you!

Maddie!

Who?

That I don't remember.

Like I said, great job guarding Emma.

Andi, lay off her.

I'm doing my best, okay?

This is my first assignment.

Your first?

Don't worry, Emma.

Luckily, you have me and all my zombie apocalypse skills to protect you.

I just have to adjust it to a witch apocalypse.

I feel better.

Bring the hexerin tomorrow.

It has some protection spells you can try.

Okay.

Okay, wait. Wait. Wait.

Does dropping an a.C. Unit onto a witch stun it in place?

What?

Works for zombies.

Let's go.

So everything you say is the opposite of what you mean?

No.

(Groans)

That's...

Look, if this is about you liking Emma, you can just tell me.

It's okay if you like her.

I don't. Really.

(Grunts)

Maybe your subconscious is making you say what you really feel, and you just have to deal with it.

I think you're right.

Hey, hey.

Don't fight it.

Just go with it.

So it's okay if I ask Emma out?

Y...

Yes!

Thanks, brah.

You're the best!

Keep saying "brah" like that.

It makes you sound super cool.

I will, brah.

(Sighs)

Hi, Danny.

Bye, Maddie.

Is something wrong?

No, and I would tell you if there was.

Just curious: Are you still allergic to butterflies?

No.

Listen, I wanted to know if you wanted to get back together with me.

(Scoffs)

Yes, I'd love to.

Oh, I knew it!

And I brought my toolbox and a spare engine part from my dad's '66 mustang, and I thought we could pull it apart...

You brought an engine to a sleepover?

Yeah.

So what's it gonna be?

Zombie makeup night or engine entertainment night?

Actually, I thought I'd make a butterfly collage, and you can make a...

Werewolf collage or...

Something.

Hey, werewolf? Yeah.

Collage? No.

Well, then what do you want to do?

No way.

My dad's right in the kitchen.

Oh, come on, em!

What's the point of being best friends with a witch if we can't do spells and stuff?

That's the only reason why you're my friend?

No.

There's many reasons.

That's just one of the best ones.

Now go get that giant book, and let's spell trouble.

Okay.

Just one.

Maybe you could turn me into a lion, queen of the jungle!

Um, Andi?

No, wait!

A great white shark... Wait. No.

I'm just gonna flop around with no water.

Um, Andi.

Whoa, wait. I'll just sit in the bathtub.

Andi! It's gone!

The hexerin, it was right here, and now it's gone.

What?

Who would steal it right off my...

Maddie.

Could you hurry up so we can get our freezin' on?

Our freezing?

Yeah.

I bring the stuff, and you freeze the stuff.

I just have to clean back here, but it's gonna take a long time if it's just me.

(Sighs) Okay, fine.

I'll help.

Thank you!

Come again.

What?

I think I drank too much soda.

(Belches)

(Crackling)

Mac?

Mac!

Oh, no.

What did I do?

Mac!