20x04 - Baby Can I Hold You

[bunniefuu]

[Grey] Years ago,
a New York physician
discovered a gene mutation

that causes congenital
insensitivity to pain...

Have you seen my charger? I
thought I left it on the table.

...or CIP.

I don't remember. Sorry.

[sighs] I will find it.

Coffee will help.

[sighs]

Sorry.

I'll make more. [chuckles]

But you're kinda... out.

It's an extremely rare
condition that blocks people
from feeling pain.

Important meeting. Gotta go.

It sounds good in theory,
but pain is important.

It tells the body

when it's in danger,
and helps keep it alive.

[gasps] Oh-- Oh,
I'm so sorry I'm late.

I s-see your
appointment went well.

X-rays show the bone's healed,
so Link cleared me.

The brace is off,
and I am fully back. [laughs]

-Now, you--
you know I'm careful.
-[Bailey stammers]

I just can't keep feeling like
I'm letting the station down
by not pulling my weight.

-You-- You're back.
-I'm back!

-You're back.
-[chuckles, kisses]

-Gotta run.
-N--

Put your hand in fire,

get b*rned, and you learn
not to do it again.

-[sighs, mouthing words]
-Or put another way:
living hurts.

Were you aware when you
intubated Maxine Anderson
that she was DNI?

Maxine didn't wanna
die on a ventilator.

-But I knew if
I can get in through--
-Yes or no, Dr. Kwan?

Ms. Anderson didn't wanna die.
I-I could see it in her eyes.

Could you see the giant orange
DNI sticker on her chart?

Max-- M-Ms. Anderson-- She's not
suing Dr. Kwan or the hospital.

You're listed as Ms. Anderson's
medical proxy. Why is that?

It was her choice.
Why does it matter?

[interviewer 1] Because her son
has launched an inquiry into it.

Let's return to the other night.

Where were you
when Dr. Altman collapsed?

OR 1. We rushed Sam Sutton in
because his chest tube was
putting out liters of blood.

But you left Mr. Sutton
to attend to Dr. Altman.

Dr. Altman is our
Chief of Surgery.

And Dr. Adams was
with Mr. Sutton.

Don't you mean Dr. Adams
was opening Mr. Sutton?

Sam was dying.

He didn't have minutes.
He had seconds.

According to whom? You are a--

You're a first-year
resident, correct? An intern.

I know what a dying
patient's vitals look like.

And what might those be?

The patient hardly had
a blood pressure reading,

high heart rate.

He was definitely bleeding out.

And you believed you and
Dr. Adams could save him?

-It all happened really fast.
-[interviewer 2] Dr. Griffith,

if you were in the OR
by yourself without Dr. Adams,

would you still have
opened up the patient?

-[panting] Hey.
-Hey.

I already did that twice.

Can you evict family?

Lucas is just crashing at
my place, and it's not ideal.

He's into all my stuff.
His stuff--

Every time I turn around,
there's more.

I mean, I know
I am not the easiest person
to live with, but--

-But you do pick up
after yourself. Mmm.
-Is it so hard?

-We already did that.
-It's slow.

Oh. Maybe it just
doesn't like you.

-I'm gonna take the stairs.
-Mmm. Okay.

[Kwan] How was your interview?

-Mine was pretty brutal.
-Don't talk to me.

Lawyers are paid
to make you feel badly, Kwan.

Shake it off.
Just focus on the work. Here.

Everyone's making progress.

One more chest tube,
and I am out of this dungeon.

Dr. Bailey, given that we're
close to finishing our logs,

would it make sense
to focus on that
instead of wherever we're going?

It would make
sense for you to trust

that anything I ask of you
will make you a better doctor.

There she is.

Oh. Dr. Bailey, just in time.

-Shall we begin?
-[Bailey] Yes.

Take a seat and learn something.

Meet Vida Madera,


with a history of vision loss.

[Bailey] Dr. Wilson and I
met Vida through the clinic

when she learned
she was pregnant after
suffering two miscarriages.

Two weeks ago,
an ultrasound revealed

a vein of Galen malformation
in the fetus's brain.

-I'm-- I'm sorry. Uh, may I?
-Yeah, of course.

Okay. Uh, who can
tell me what a VOGM is?

A rare arteriovenous fistula.

An artery in the brain connects
to the vein directly,

causing dysregulated blood flow
into the defect.

Correct. And in utero,
the baby is typically sheltered

by mom and the placenta,
but then after delivery
and the cord is clamped,

what happens? Yes.

The baby's heart and lungs
become overwhelmed

with a massive
overflow of blood.

Which can lead to heart failure,
seizures, and possibly death.

Standard procedure has been
embolization after delivery,

but many babies do not survive.

And if they do, the child
often has major brain injury.

So that's when
I called Dr. Robbins.

So a few months ago,
I started a clinical trial

with a team of
interventional neuroradiologists

in which we operate
on the baby's brain,

before delivery.

In-utero brain surgery. Sick.

Ugh. I hate babies.

Technically a fetus.

What did I say
about talking to me?

-Yes.
-How many times
has this been done?

[clicks tongue] Oh,
um, let me think, uh...

None.

So who wants to make history?

Morning, Dr. Webber.
[exhales sharply]
Dr. Ndugu, do you have a minute?

Oh, no, I have a TAVR--
two, actually. We still
haven't filled Maggie's spot.

That's what I wanted to talk
to you about. I have a solution.

You coming back right now
is not the solution.

You don't know
what I was gonna say.

But you're not wrong.

Altman, it's been
barely four weeks

since your surgery.

But I have been practicing
in the skills lab.

I am strong, and I
am more than ready.

To return to your desk,
not to the OR. All right?

It's about stamina not skills.

[exhales sharply]
"Stamina." Please.

[Bailey] Come on in.

Quite a crowd
you've brought, Dr. Bailey.

So we have, uh,
Dr. Shepherd, Dr. Wilson,

world-renowned
fetal surgeon Dr. Robbins,

-and the surgical interns.
-Hey.

-[Wilson] Hi, Vida.
-Hi.

Dr. Robbins, we have
been Internet-stalking you,

and you are truly incredible.

We just read
about the work you did
with twin-to-twin transfusions.

Yeah. Well, my field
has come a long way.

And thank you. Dr. Griffith.

Vida Madera, 26, history
of vision impairment, hear--

[Vida] Dr. Robbins.

W-We really appreciate
you coming all this way,

but I've given it some thought,

and... I'm so sorry.

Hey, what are you talking about?

I've changed my mind.

I-I can't have the surgery.

'Cause it's never
been done before?

Because I can't lose this baby.

Well, I-I assure you,
Vida, that's exactly
what we're trying to avoid.

Do you know how many blind
and low-vision mothers have

social services called on them
for no reason other than
their sight?

When this became a successful,
viable pregnancy,

I knew that I was going to have
to fight to protect this baby.

So the idea of a giant needle
being stuck into her brain

before I've even had the chance
to hold her myself, I-- I can't.

We've gone through so much
to get to this point.
I just can't risk it.

And Dr. Shepherd--
She did say that
the baby would have a chance.

It is an extremely
small chance, Vida.

And in that case,

the baby would likely have
significant neurological
injuries.

But there's still a chance.
So I'm going with that.

World-class or not, Dr. Robbins,

I'm saying no. No surgery.

[mouthing words]

[sighs] Here's the file. Here.

-Excuse me?
-Yeah.

-Hi.
-Hi.

Sorry to bother, but, um,

I'm waiting for Dr. Millin.

They said they sent out a page.

I'm sure Dr. Millin
will be down soon.

Can I help you?
I'm also a doctor.

I'll wait... for Dr. Millin.

Oh, uh...

-Dr. Hunt. Hi.
-Yeah?

So as soon as I place a chest
tube, I'm back in the OR.

So anything that I can do
to make that happen--

Ms. Timms in bed three needs
a rectal disimpaction.

And if she gets
an accidental chest tube,
I'll know who to blame. Okay?

[elevator dings]

Hey, somebody paged me?

Oh, yeah. That guy
was looking for you.

-Do I know him?
-I don't keep a log
of who you know.

[scoffs]

[sighs] Hi.

I heard you were looking for me.

I'm Dr. Millin.

Uh, no, you're not.

Joshy, my guy.

Dr. Millin.

Hey. Uh.

Guess what. There's
another Dr. Millin.

Hmm. He is not a doctor.

But she is my sister.

[sighs]

Vida has asked to be discharged.

We can't let her
leave. She's just scared.

And when were you
going to tell me

that my patient would be
the very first in
this clinical trial?

It's a trial.
Someone has to go first,
and Vida's a perfect candidate.

-[phone beeps]
-The fetal malformation is just
wide enough to justify the risk,

and there's no evidence
of brain damage so--

And the parents have to be
completely on board.
So this is done.

I have a patient
to see. Robbins,

sorry this didn't work out,
but it was good to see you.

Travel safely home.

If you don't do this surgery,
that baby will not survive.

It is a statistical miracle that
she is still a viable candidate.

And if Vida changes her mind
in the future,

then it might be too late.

I know. I'm disappointed too.

But my hands are tied.

So... [exhales sharply]
...I'm sorry.

[announcer on PA] Dr. Man to
labor and delivery. Dr. Man--

-[groaning]
-Dorian. Dorian, it's okay.

-You're gonna rip out
your A-line.
-[Bailey] What's happening?

-Oh, when did he wake up?
-A few minutes ago.

His vitals look okay,
but he's weak,
he's disoriented and combative.

-Don't touch me. [grunts]
-Dorian. Dorian.

I'm Dr. Ndugu. Now, this is
Dr. Bailey, Schmitt, and Kwan.

You're at Grey-Sloan Memorial
in the ICU.

We need you to stop
fighting us. Okay?

Just try to relax.
Give him a second.

[Bailey
stammers] Dorian. Dorian.

Hi. Do you remember
what happened to you?

Uh. I remember two guys,
maybe a g*n.

Okay. Kwan, make sure
and alert the police
that he's awake.

-Okay.
-Do my parents know I'm here?

Yes. And they've been here
sitting by your side
almost every day.

-[sucks teeth, groans]
Was I sh*t?
-Yes.

Technically, you d*ed,

and then we opened up your chest
and your heart started
to b*at again.

Doctors Bailey and Ndugu
repaired your chest
and your abdominal injuries,

removed some of your
bowels and spleen--

Okay. That's
enough, Kwan, for now.

-I'm due in the OR.
-Yes.

His white blood count is high,
and his heart rate
has been increasing.

We need to do an
infection workup.

Kwan, run a nutrition panel
and fix his A-line. Okay?

I have 200 emails, and you
page me 911 to what, exactly?

A mock OR.

I've helped dozens of athletes
get back after injury,

and not one has gotten
back on the field without
playing a scrimmage first.

Uh, you'll
operate, and I'll assist.

And I'll be
your anesthesiologist,

your scrub nurse,
circulating nurse.

Your patient is
a 65-year-old male
with a history of tobacco use,

here for a four-vessel CABG.

My patient is a


[beeping]

Oh, no. He's gone
into cardiac arrest.

What? Should I push some meds?

-Push epi.
-You're losing him.

[beeping continues]

Push epi.

[on PA]
Dr. Nelson to dermatology.

Dr. Charlotte Nelson
to dermatology.

Hey, uh, what did
the lawyers ask you?

Same as everyone else.
"What happened that night?"

Yeah. W-What did you say?

-Oh, I need to check
on Bailey's post-ops.
-Uh--

You took my car this morning.

-You said I could borrow it.
-Not without asking me first.

-Well, I left you a note.
-Under which pile of stuff?

Would this be a bad time
to let you know that
I'm on your service?

-You have got to be kidding me.
-I'll go round on your patients.

[on PA]
Dr. Reynolds to pediatrics.
Dr. Ethel Reynolds...

-[sighs]
-Intern woes?

Yeah, something like that.

The, um, fetal embolization
is canceled.

-Mom got spooked.
-Well, it's a spooky surgery.

Not only are you
inserting a needle,

but multiple metal coils into
their tiny, tiny baby's brain.

Well, this is the
best sh*t that baby has.

Doesn't make it
any less terrifying.

[grunts]

-Okay.
-All right.

Why do you have to inv*de
my workplace with your mess?

Joshy is not a mess. He's a
human being, and a subscriber.

Oh, God. Are you still making
those dumb videos?

I heal people, just like you.

-You are an influencer.
-A wellness influencer.

You went on one yoga retreat
and dated a Pilates instructor.

That does not make you a doctor.

It's branding, like
Dr. Dre or Dr. Seuss.

They don't wear scrubs
and tell people what to eat.

Hey, Dr. Millin?

-Yes.
-That's me.

Um. Kind of hurting here.

-Okay. Is the pain
getting worse?
-Yeah.

-It's like I told the doc
in my DM...
-[Millin sighs]

...it started as an ingrown hair
or something on my back,

but now it's swelled up.

I can't see. Is it bad?

[groans] That, um--

That one's gonna be
all you, Dr. Millin.

Mm-hmm.

-Thank you so much.
-There you go.

[Vida's partner] Dr. Robbins.
Stop, please.

You can't leave.

I can't do the surgery

without consent or your trust.

You have mine, and, uh, I
think you'll have Vida's.

She just needs a minute.

Two weeks ago,
we were debating
the cost of crib sheets,

and... [exhales]
...today, well, we're here.

Look, our baby can't die.

If she dies, Vida
won't survive that,

so please,
just keep prepping and planning
what you need to do.

But whatever happens,
Dr. Robbins, just don't leave.

[on PA]
Dr... call Oncology 2622.

-Hi. Could you
help me with something?
-Ooh, is it a chest tube?

-No.
-Oh. Then no, thanks.

I'm trying to drain
this giant abscess,

and nothing is coming out.

Just call an attending.

-Hunt's around.
-I'd really rather not.

You did know that guy.

I didn't.

I know the guy he's with.

An ex-boyfriend?
Someone you ghosted?

Ew. No, it's my brother.

And he is nothing but trouble.

He thinks he's a doctor,
and I would rather not
involve anyone else

on a day when
we've already been interviewed
by hospital lawyers. So--

-Okay, I'm in.
-Thank you,
thank you, thank you.

But I get to ask him
as many questions about
your childhood as I want.

I--

Dorian's prelim culture
came back negative,

except for the sample from
the subclavian central line.

Yeah. Well, he needs access.

DC the infected line and get a
new one on the opposite side.

Have you placed a
subclavian line before?

Two.

Well, time to make it three.

[clicks tongue]
Now would be nice.

[exhales] I've never done one
without supervision.

Are you sure you don't want me
to wait for you?

It's a central line, Kwan.

You've seen it. You've done it.

Just trust your instincts.

Okay.
Once the baby's in position,
I'll inject the paralytic,

then we'll start the clock
with the goal of finishing
under 20 minutes. Why?

Rookies, I'm asking you.

Uh, more time means more stress
on the baby.

And the mom.
She'll be awake the entire time.

A prolonged procedure also
puts stress on the pregnancy.

So there's no
room for error. None.

Are you going to
be pacing in the OR?

Because if so, please
remind me to disinvite you.

Okay. We're through the skull.

What are these, exactly?

Phantom skulls. They approximate
different possible densities
of fetal skulls.

If this were the real thing,
blood would come
through the needle,

but until then,
everything is hypothetical.

But it's not.

You're practicing
on a 3D printed bone simulation.

-How is that even close
to the real thing?
-Griffith--

And why are we practicing at all

if the patient hasn't agreed
to the surgery?

Uh, shouldn't we be in there
talking to Vida,

explaining the consequences
of not going through with
the surgery?

We don't convince anyone of
anything. That's not what we do.

Okay.
Then should we be recommending
this procedure at all?

Okay. Both you
and Griffith, out.

Wait.

He's not wrong.

Well, I mean, he--
he's kind of wrong.

But what I mean is,

is anyone good
with a 3D printer?

So, what was Millin like
as a kid?

Kind of the same.

Smart, cool, weirdly good skin?

I was gonna say mean.

Hey, Joshy.

You'll need to hydrate
after this. Okay?

Our bodies are 60% water.
Go back to the source, amigo.

-Thanks, Dr. Millin.
-Of course.

All right, I'm going to
make another incision.

You'll feel some pressure,
and then hopefully
you'll feel better.

Hmm.

-[Joshy groans]
-Nothing?

I swear I made
a deep enough incision.

-We have to call Hunt.
-I'd really rather not.

And I'd really rather not
get in trouble for doing
something without an attending

after already being in trouble
for something I didn't do.

I'd really rather not die,

so can someone please call
whoever Hunt is?

I'm doing it.

[Joshy sighs]

Hey.

You listen carefully.

My boss is probably gonna come,

and I don't want you
embarrassing me with
your "Dr. Millin" crap.

Okay. You are
going to wait outside.

And don't talk to
anyone. Don't move.

I'd say don't think, but
you've already got that covered.

You are going to stay
where I can see you,

or, so help me God,

I will hire a bot farm to
drag you on every message board
on the Internet.

Got it?

-[scoffs]
-Great.

Shepherd was
annoyed with me, not you.

[Griffith] This morning,

the lawyers asked
if I would have opened Sam up
if you hadn't asked me to,

and I said no.

So you threw me under the bus.

-I defended myself. I just--
-By slitting my throat.

You told me to tell
them the truth, so I did.

We didn't get a chance to
align our stories because you...

walked away.

Where are you
even living, Lucas?

Lucas.

We have to focus
on work, remember?

So what does
the spleen do, exactly?

[scoffs] Hell if I know.

How many times was I sh*t?

Come on. Just tell me.

There were three b*ll*ts.

One hit your lung, and two
went through your abdomen.

-So, how long
do I have to stay here?
-[sighs]

We'll know more
once we can confirm that you're
getting adequate nutrients

despite how much
bowel was removed.

It's important for healing.

[inhales, groans]

-The left side of my chest--
it hurts.
-[monitor beeps]

I need oxygen.

-[nurse] On it.
-[gasps]

-Is this normal?
-Page Dr. Schmitt.

Come on, come on. It's okay.
Breathe. Breathe.

It's okay. It's okay.

Hi, Vida.

I'm still not ready
to make any decision.

But-- And you don't have to.

My colleague,
Dr. Herman, likes to--

Well, if you've read about me,
then you've most certainly
read about her.

She also has low vision,

and when we discuss a surgery,
she likes to walk through it.

So, before you leave,
I'd like to discuss the surgery

and walk you through it the way
that I walk through it with her.

[whispers] Okay.

So this is a 3D printed model

of your daughter's ultrasound
this morning.

And this is an MRI
of your baby's brain.

We're going to position her
facing downwards

so that we can access
and enter her head here.

We're gonna insert the catheter

and then deploy the coils
into the malformation.

I know that it's hard

when you can't hope based on
what others have done
before you.

And it's one thing
to have faith for yourself,

but to have it
for someone else, to--

to have it for your child...

[sighs] And no matter
how many times I tell you

that I know
exactly what I'm doing,
you're still gonna be scared.

And I know that it's painful,

but this pain--
this pain has purpose.

This pain could have life

on the other side of it.

-What happened?
-[Kwan] I inserted the line,
then he went into distress.

The X-ray shows that he dropped
a lung. He needs a chest tube.

So why are you
just standing there?

I was waiting for you.

Am I dying? Is this it?

It's a complication
that unfortunately can happen,

but you're gonna be okay.

Dr. Kwan is gonna
insert a chest tube
to reinflate the lung.

[Dorian grunts, groans]

Keep going.

[groaning]

I can't. You should do it.

[groaning]

-[gasps]
-That's good.

[exhales]

I can breathe.

[sighs]

-[Hunt sighs]
Hey. What do we got?
-This is Joshy.

He came in with a
four-by-four centimeter abscess.

We started the I and D,
but made the incision here,
and there's no pus.

Mmm. Yeah, I see the problem.
It's likely loculated
and deeper. Okay.

Palpate around the perimeter.

Okay. You made
a good first incision,

but you need to use your finger
to get to the correct pocket.

Okay.
Now, as you palpate, it's--
you're gonna feel pressure.

-[Joshy groans]
-You feel that?

-Yeah.
-Okay. Good. Uh, scalpel.

-[squelching]
-[Yasuda] All right.
Let's get this here.

Now, cut deeper.

-[Yasuda] Wait one second.
-[Millin] Okay.

-[both] Ooh!
-Oh, my God. Yes!

[gags]

Yeah. Unfortunately,
you never forget that smell.

-[sighs]
-[Hunt] You okay there, Joshy?

[whimpering] Never felt better.

-Thank God for Dr. Millin.
-[Hunt] Nice work. Okay.

Let's wash out the wound,
pack it with iodine gauze,

and set him up with home health
for dressing changes.

Whoa! I need a gurney!

Does anybody know
who this guy is?

Really? I think
this is the same model that
I practiced on 20 years ago.

Are you ready or not for
phase two? Fine motor skills?

You need to do
an anastomosis with this
perfect saphenous vein graft.

[groans]

We can stop
if you need to, you know.

No, I'm good.

This patient needs a bypass,
and I am going to give him one.

Potts scissors.

Potts scissors. Right. Um.

-No.
-Um.

-Ugh.
-[sighs] You're no BokHee.

Neither are you.

[door opens]

[Ndugu] Am I interrupting?

Dr. Ndugu.

I have been standing
for multiple hours.

I have performed CPR,
and I've cracked a chest,

and now I am
operating on a heart.

I can assure you
that I have stamina.

Well, that's great.
But you're not cleared.

I feel fine.

Yeah, you feel fine today.

We both know recovery
for open-heart surgery

is a month minimum.

If you came back early and
something happened to a patient,

I wouldn't be able to live with
myself, and neither would you.

I'll take her to the OR.

Dr. Webber.

I've been with her all day.
I know what she can do.

I'll observe her work,
and then I'll sign off
on her return.

If he signs off, then I do too.

And then after that,
I'm gonna need labs
on the Turner kid in room 1343.

-And make sure that--
-You stole my intern?

-Your surgery was canceled.
-It's back on.

Okay. Well, if interns
aren't allowed in the OR anyway,

I could really use
him on my post-ops.

-Yeah, I could use
the hours in peds.
-Prep Vida.

Right now. He's occupied.

Clearly.

[on PA]
Dr. Faraji to the SICU.
Dr. Faraji...

I'm gonna prep Vida.

-Great. See you in the OR.
-I won't be there.

I'll see Dr. Griffith?

-No, interns aren't allowed
in the OR.
-Says who?

[Bailey] Wha--

You--

-This used to be an office.
-Never.

It doesn't matter.
What matters is--

What happened, Bailey?

Vida consented.

No, no, no, no.
Not to Vida, to you.

You once put
an HIV virus in a kid

because you read two papers that
said it might cure his SCID.

Okay. It-It-It-- Had it
ever been done before? No.

But you did it anyways
because otherwise
the kid might have d*ed.

-[stammering] Okay, Robbins--
-[shushes] I'm still going.
Okay?

You got an award for teaching,
which is not surprising,

because you raised surgeons like
Cristina Yang and Meredith Grey.

And you were finally
recognized for that.

So can you imagine how
excited I was to come back here

and to stand next to you
and to teach? But...

interns are not
even allowed in the OR?

-[stammers]
-I mean-- What-- Bailey.

[sighs]

We might fix a baby's
brain inside a womb.

That is magic.

And I don't know-- I don't know

what the interns did
to get themselves banned.

And I'm sure that it was awful.

But if you don't let
them see the magic,

then how will they be motivated
to get back in?

[clicks tongue]

[Altman]
I can't remember the last time

I was this excited
for a VATS procedure.

Maybe my first, but some of
the excitement was terror.

My attending stood over me...
[muffled] ...the entire time,

but I held it together,
and the procedure went fine.

I never think that
nerves are a bad thing.

[normal] Ready?

[Wilson] Spinal's
been administered.

[Shepherd] Great. Thank you.

Hi, Vida. It's Dr. Robbins.

Okay. I want to ask you
one more time if you're sure,

because you can still say no.

You are the one
that's in control.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm sure.

I'm ready.

Save my baby.

[Robbins sighs]

[Bailey] Okay. Up against
the wall. All of you.

[Robbins] Okay. Let's do this.

Ultrasound, please.

Dim the lights.

All right, baby girl.

Here we go.

[Robbins] Okay, keep going.

We need the back of the baby's
head facing the mom's belly.

-[Wilson] I'm doing
the best I can.
-[phone vibrates]

-She's being stubborn.
-Schmitt. Gotta go.

Doesn't Bailey outrank him?

[Kwan] It's been


[Robbins] Maybe try
the other direction.

[door opens]

-[phone ringing]
-[Yasuda softly] It's you.

[sighs] If that phone
belongs to one of you,

take it in this room,
'cause it's the last time
you'll be in it.

[Adams] It isn't mine.

[Yasuda] If we weren't
fired this morning, we are now.

-[Griffith] Turn it off.
-I'm trying.

-It's Doug. [sighs]
-[door opens]

[Wilson] We're close. I almost
have the head in position.

[Robbins] There. There.

Okay, Wilson, hold her there.

Injecting the paralytic
and anesthetic
into the baby's thigh.

[Wilson] Needle is in.

[Robbins] Okay.

There she is.

She's still.

Dr. Shepherd.

[Shepherd] Start the clock.

Eighteen gauge, please.

Every second puts the mother
and baby in more danger,

so let's make them count.

What is your problem?

I woke up alone.

-I was in surgery.
-Okay. Calm down, Julie Jules.

Dr. Millin.

You're my sister.

-I don't make you call me that.
-You're not a doctor.

I have spent every dollar

and every ounce of my energy
to achieve that title.

I have fought, sweat
and scraped my way through mess,

and I am done with anyone who
tries to take that away from me.

-Do you hear me?
-[Hunt] Millin.

-What?
-Yes?

He didn't say doctor.
He just said Millin.

Dr. Millin can't treat you
because she's your sister.

We have strict rules
about family treating family.

But I assume you know that,
being a health care professional
and all.

Listen, I know it can be hard
to take advice from family,

so I'm gonna say this to you.

Misleading others in
their health and wellness
is questionable at best.

And as you saw today,
it can have severe consequences.

So I recommend you find
other ways to influence people.

And I hope you're proud
that you're related

to an excellent physician.

Now, you're free to go, okay?

-Do you want a juice
for the road?
-Mmm.

[Bailey] Okay,
it's been 14 minutes.

[Shepherd]
We're going as fast as we can.
We need about three more coils.

Stop, Shepherd.

Stop right now.

Okay. I'm gonna
speak quietly and calmly,

and I would like for
everyone else to do the same.

The baby is moving slightly,

and I'm gonna administer
another round of paralytics.

-[Wilson] We're mid-coil.
-Yeah.

If the baby is moving
when we're inserting the coils,

we risk putting them
in the wrong place.

Can we shift the ultrasound,
so we can visualize
the baby's thigh?

Very, very carefully, because

there's a needle
sticking out the back
of this baby's head.

-Robbins.
-[Robbins] Bailey,
I need you to trust me.

All right. Calm down, baby girl.

Calm down.

There. Okay.

Here we go.

[Wilson] How much more time
does this buy us?

[Robbins] It doesn't.
This is just tiding us over.
We have five minutes.

Okay, she's still.

Show me her heart.

[b*ating]

It's strong. Back to her brain.

Dr. Shepherd, you need to--

-Move fast.
-Yeah.

-Hey.
-Hmm.

How was the VATS?

Well, Beckman's doing it.

I've been away from the OR
about three weeks...
[smacks lips]

...and I thought
today was the day.

But when I started
to glove and gown,

I saw the patient.

I smelled the room
and heard the monitors.

I used to be able to
take a break from the OR.

And no matter
how long I was out,

it would immediately
come right back to me.

But today...

I didn't feel it come back.

It's still there.

You were watching me all day,
but I was also watching you.

You had my back
today. You always do.

So let me do the same for you.
Trust me.

If I ever believe
that you do not belong in there,

I will tell you.

[Shepherd] Okay.
All coils deployed.

Removing the needle now.

[Robbins] Can you load
the pre-op ultrasound, please?

[Wilson] Oh, my God.

[gasps] It's gone.

It's not gone.

It's repaired.

Dr. Bailey.

[whimpering] Magic.

[whimpers]

[Robbins] Great
work, Dr. Shepherd.

[scoffs]

Uh, I restarted
his trickle feeds.

His parents have been updated,
and they're on their way.

Thanks.

I saw Maxine...

in my head. I--

Dorian was
struggling to breathe,

and I could only see Maxine.

[stammers]
You met with the lawyers
this morning, didn't you?

You'll keep seeing Maxine.

That's just how it is.

The memorable complications,

the ones that we think will
affect our entire careers.

They follow you whether
it's a good or bad outcome.

Soon, it--

it'll start to dull, though.

Will it go away?

No.

But I'm not sure we want it to.

Vida, it's still early,
but the procedure went well.

And so far,
your baby's doing great.

Her cardiac output is,
uh, decreasing,
and it looks promising.

[chuckles]

Oh, my gosh. Thank you so much.

Um. So, what now? We just wait?

No, we'll follow
closely with imaging.

And after you give birth,

we will take the baby to
the NICU, likely for a month.

-A whole month?
-We need to be extra careful.

And then we'll continue
to monitor you and the baby
for the next two years.

We'll-- We'll be in it together.

[chuckles]

[Vida] Gosh.

Dr. Bailey.

Yeah-- Uh-- Yes, I'm-I'm here.

-[chuckles]
-Thank you.

Thank you for the clinic,
for following up with me,

for introducing
us to Dr. Robbins...

[Bailey chuckles]

...for everything.

-Thank you.
-You are welcome.

Mmm.

[whispers] Crisps.

C-3.

-Doug seems--
-Don't say nice
or charming, please.

I was gonna say spoiled.

Infuriating.

I may be projecting
my own brother issues.

Do you know how many times

I have had to bail him out?

I always hated it
when my mom would say,

"It's the big sister's job to
watch after the younger kids."

No, I mean out of jail.

Always for dumb stuff
like trespassing and vandalism.

And you know, it's the
same thing with my parents.

-Mmm.
-Something goes wrong,
call Jules.

And the dumbest part is
that I answer every time.

You know, Maxine's
more family to me than them.

And the lawyer said
that her son doesn't want me

to be her medical proxy anymore.

You know, honestly,
he should be grateful.

If it weren't for our mistakes,
his mom could still be
on a vent or dead.

That is a terrible thing to say.

Well, we might all be named
in lawsuits anyway.

Okay, but why you?

You didn't even do
anything wrong that night.

This is what I keep saying.

Finally.

Are my keys back there?

Adams texted me
that they were at the desk.

Okay. Yeah, I'm gonna k*ll him.

Would you page Adams
and tell him
the chief of neuro needs a word?

Wow. You really have it out
for that intern.

You really sneak up on people.

Did he make a mistake
on one of your patients?

He's my nephew,
and he's crashing at my place,
and he's a slob.

Also, he has my car keys.

Mmm. You need a ride home?

Uh. No, thanks.

Well, cut him some slack.

I mean, his aunt just performed
groundbreaking surgery,

and he can't even
enter labs correctly.

-He messed up your labs?
-Hmm. Horribly.

We were all interns once.

Congrats on your surgery.

It still smells
the same in here.

[scoffs] You said you'd
make history, and you did.

We did.

Uh, look, the
interns k*lled a patient

by opening his chest without
an attending being in the room.

So, I sidelined them.

They have to complete procedure
logs with all the basics

before being
allowed back in the OR.

-They're almost finished.
-Mmm.

You know,
going back to the basics

won't stop them
from making mistakes.

They're interns. [chuckles]

-Tiny surgeons.
-Mmm.

But... you know this.

[chuckles] So I--

Okay, last month,
Ben broke his arm on duty.

-Oh. I--
-No, no, he was fine,

but he could only man the desk
or drive the trucks.

And then today,
the brace came off.

So, now he'll be right back
to the calls and--

-Danger.
-Yes.

-[Robbins] Ugh.
-[whimpers] Yes.

It's so hard letting them
out of our sight.

[inhales]

But you have to trust
in things you can't see.

Sometimes you just
gotta trust... [sighs]

...that it'll be okay.

Yeah, that, um, isn't exactly
easy for me. It's--

Yeah, fair.

So, are you gonna
let 'em back in the OR?

-Hell no.
-Bailey.

[stammers] They didn't
even appreciate the magic.

Okay.

-There she is.
-What?

[Grey]
As long as you're hurting,
you're living. We know this.

-Goodness.
-[Robbins] I missed you.

-[laughs]
-Pain is an excellent teacher.

I did it.

I completed my log.

I'm going to the OR.

[singing] I b*at all you people.

Let me see that.

You got lucky.

Or I work hard and
I'm a good doctor,

unlike the rest of you, who
gravitate toward malpractice.

Are you rounding on Vida
in the morning or am I?

Whatever.

If you don't wanna
talk to me, fine,

-but can you at least be civil?
-I didn't say anything.

Okay, could you two please not?

[Bailey] I could say
the same to all of you.

Now, I gave you the opportunity
to watch medical history
be made today,

and all you care about
is which one of you
is doing what procedure,

how many or whose fault it is.

Everything in that OR
today happened

because some of
the best surgeons
put their heads together.

They communicated.
They anticipated.

You wanna get back in the OR?
You need to learn
to work together.

So, here's the new rule.

Nobody operates until every
procedure card is completed.

-But I just finished mine.
-Good for you.

You can help
your colleagues finish theirs.

Great.

And life is full of sayings

that remind us
of its upsides.

Growing pains. Labor pains.

-Hey.
-[Adams] Hi.

Happy tears.

So good it hurts.

I, uh-- I bought more coffee.

Pain warns us.

It protects us.

Intern year is hard.

-I remember.
-[chuckles]

Yeah, really?

Did you almost flame out
in your first few months?

If I'm being honest, yes.

Did you alienate
all your friends?

Well, when I wasn't
sober. Definitely.

Did you have to live
in your family's shadow?

Wonder if you ever live up
to those expectations?

Your uncle Derek was a legend.

Well, you have no idea what it
was like working here with him.

I meant you.

Come here.

And most of all,

pain makes us appreciate
life's pleasures.

Cherish good
company, good health.

What if I'm not
cut out for this?

You'll find something else
to do, and the family legacy
dies with me.

But I think you'll be fine.

Savor the moments
after the hurting,

when you're all better,
pain-free.

You're gonna watch with me?

Well, you're kinda on my bed.

At least for a while.