[ music ]
[ mellow music ]
[ laughs ]
- I will not see that coming...
I did not see that coming!
- Do you ever get bored playing chess against yourself?
- No, I don't.
But I sometimes do.
[ Charlotte's phone gets a text ]
[ groans ]
- The guys are coming back.
- Why did you do that?
- Ray gets mad whenever people do
"smart stuff" in front of him.
Gimme the chess board.
- But I've got myself right where I want me!
- You'll get yourself next time.
[ Schwoz grumbles ]
- Where were they anyway?!
- They went to throw melons at that abandoned house
that people throw melons at.
- Without me? But I've been saving melons for months.
- They should be back soon.
I just asked them to swing by my house
and pick up my phone charger on the way back.
- You sent Ray, Henry, and Jasper to your house
with no adult supervision?!
- Yeah. What's the problem?
- Yeah...name one old Disney movie that isn't.
- No, you're right. - I'll wait.
- Time's changing. - You're right.
- Much more inclusive now... - You're right.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa...
- Hey. - What's up?
- Hey. - Hmm?
- Hey. - Hey.
- Hi. - Hey.
- Did you go to my house? - Sure did.
- Oh yeah. - Walked right in.
- So... what happened?!
- Weeee got your phone charger.
- Aaahh!
Why is it hot?!
- Because we pulled it out of the fire.
- You are welcome.
Hit the showers. - Whoo!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
- Whaaaaaat? - I told you she'd be like this.
- What did I say? - Yeah I owe you ten bucks.
- Did you guys light my house on fire?!
- No no no no... - 'Course not.
- Just take it easy. - I mean... yeah.
- Just the kitchen.
- The kitchen is part of the house.
- The kitchen's gone. It's gone.
- The rest of your house... totally fine.
- Yeah.
- How could you guys light my kitchen on fire?!
- Oh this is gonna be good. Let me get some popcorn.
- What. Happened.
- Okay, first of all,
we couldn't find a light switch anywhere.
- It was very dark. - And kinda cold.
- I happened to have a flare on me.
- Which would solve both problems.
- Oh my god. - Show her.
- Okay. - No!
- So I had a flare... in your kitchen!
- And then we started exploring!
- First thing we found were the curtains.
- Well... - The flare found 'em.
- Those things went up fast.
[ Imitates fire starting ]
- Did you guys try to put it out?!
- Yes. - Of course we did!
- But um you know that saying, "Fight fire with fire?"
- Yeah, that does not work. - No.
- Let's hit the showers. - Whoo!
- Nobody's hittin' the showers!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa--what's your problem
with showers, Charlotte? - Yeah, right?
Let's hit the showers. - Whoo!
- You guys, what about my kitchen!
- Again, her with the kitchen. - Come on!
- I'll take care of it.
You'll have a new kitchen in six to eight weeks.
Here. Take a look at these cabinet samples.
We could do oak or maybe mahogany--
- Oooh!
- I don't need a new kitchen in six to eight weeks.
I need a kitchen today!
- Why? - Yeah, what's your deal?
- My deal is that I have a date tonight with Jack Swagger
and I was gonna make him dinner at my house!
- Wait. - You know Jack Swagger?!
- International music superstar Jack Swagger?!
- Youngest person to win a Grammy Jack Swagger?!
- You have a date? - Yes. With Jack Swagger.
- How do you know Jack Swagger?!
- We went to camp together like ten years ago
back when he was Jack Swaggowitz.
- Okay. How did we not know this until now?!
- I've told you guys like a million times!
You guys just never listen to me.
- I don't believe you. - I don't remember that.
- Uhhhhhhhhhhh...
- Truth or flare? - Truth.
- Who's the first person you ever smooched?
- Jack Swagger. Summer Camp.
Back when he was Jack Swaggowit--
- Dude, check me out! Check me out!
I'm Flarry Potter!
Magic! Magic!
- You're a wizard, Flarry Pottah!
HENRY: Yes! Yes!
Okay, fine. You told us one time.
- Uhhhhhhhhhhh...
[ Charlotte's phone beeps ]
- Who's that from? - Jack Swagger.
We went to camp together.
He's playing at the Swellview Bowl tonight
so we're going to go out for dinner after--
- The ice cream ma--
- Oh my gosh...
[ cries ]
- Okay, so you mentioned it twice.
- You know, scientists say that you have to hear something
three times to be legally remembered--
- Uhhhhhhhhhhh...
- Hey, can you guys swing by my house
and pick up my phone charger on the way back?
I have a date with Jack Swagger.
I know him from camp.
Oh and by the way, the light switch in the kitchen
is a little hard to find so--
JASPER, HENRY AND RAY: Okay, okay...
- Wow. Was that today?
- That was an hour ago. - An hour ago today?
- And I can think of seven more times I've told you guys.
- Not enough time. - Let's move on.
- Well Jack was supposed to come to my house
and have dinner tonight.
But now I can't make him dinner.
- Why not? We got your phone charger.
- Because you b*rned down my kitchen!
- Just take him to that restaurant Sotto Voce.
Nice place. Romantic.
Kitchen not b*rned.
- That you know of. - That I know of.
- We tried that. He's too famous.
He gets mobbed wherever he goes.
- Yeah. I saw him at the dentist once -- tackled him!
Turns out... different guy.
- So you guys can only have dates at your house?
- Or secret restaurants. Like one time in New York
he took me to this cool, underground spot,
below a fake laundromat. - I got it!
We need some place to turn into a fake restaurant. Okay?
Some place nobody knows about?
Somewhere underground?
I say we make a fake restaurant in Henry's house!
- Yes! - No.
- Why not? - There's a hawk in my house.
- There's a hawk in your house? - That's what Piper said.
- What are you doing out here? - Can't go inside.
There's a hawk in the house.
He hates me.
- Why is there a hawk in our house?
- I heard a cricket downstairs last night.
- Go on.
- Well the cricket kept me awake.
So I grabbed some mice and brought 'em in
to get the cricket.
The mice got the cricket but then they wouldn't leave.
So I grabbed a handful of snakes to drive out the mice.
- So there are a bunch of snakes in our house now?
- Not since I got the hawk.
He hates me.
[ Hawk whistles ]
- Relax, Tony. He's outside.
- I may need to crash here 'til the hawk leaves.
- Okay, so we'll do it in the Man Cave.
- Do what in the Man Cave? - Make it a secret restaurant.
- Yes! - No!
We're not turning the Man Cave into a secret restaurant.
- You owe me! You b*rned down my kitchen.
You never listen to me. You get mad at me
when I read books in the Man Cave!
- I knew I smelled books in here!
- You owe me.
- Fine we'll turn the Man Cave into a restaurant!
- Yes!
- Who was playing chess?
Schwoz! - Aieee!
- What do I tell you about that!
- It all just kinda happened.
I wanted an after-school job.
But then, an indestructible superhero
hired me to be his sidekick. - Ah!
- Now we blow bubbles... and fight crime.
Feels good.
[ theme music ]
- Call it. - Up the tube!
- Aw, my boot! - Ha!
[ music ]
[ elevator dings ]
- Sorry I'm late.
The hawk grabbed my tie and wouldn't give it back.
Luckily my dad distracted it with his face.
- Is he okay? - Yeah he's okay,
he's got like razor talons and like a Kn*fe beak. So.
- No, no. I meant your dad.
- Oh no he's in serious pain. This place looks great!
Where's Ray? - Chef's in the kitchen.
- Where's the kitchen?
- Behind the sound proof curtain.
- Whaaaaat?!
[ mouths "I know" ]
RAY: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
I JUST HAD IT! HOW COULD I LOSE--
RAY: IT WAS HERE TWO SECONDS AGO!
I SWEAR ON MY FATHER'S PREPURCHASED BURIAL PLOT--
- Hmm. Chef sounds mad.
- Yeah, we should check on him.
RAY: Oh come on!
- Whoa whoa whoa whoa! - What are you doing?
- I can't find my fifth flare!
And if I don't have all five flares it's ruined!
- Put the flares away man. They're for emergencies only!
- Or for playing Truth or Flare!
- It's fine. I just had the thing!
Where--it was here a second ago!
- Found it! I found it.
- Stop. Move. - Where is it?
- Dude, you gotta stop lighting flares in kitchens.
- Why? What's the worst that could happen?
- Okay. Hand them over. - Give them to me man.
- We're done. We're done! We're done!
- Ah! You're ruining my process!
No, don't put 'em in there! Don't put that. Oh.
- Okay. Charlotte and Jack Swagger are close.
I gotta go up to Junk-N-Stuff
and pretend like it's a fake store.
- It is a fake store. - Exactly.
This guy gets it.
- What are you wearing?
- Schwoz and I are the chefs. I am dressed like a chef.
- Uhh...From a cartoon?
- This is what chefs wear. - In cartoons.
- No! In real life! - Okay.
Boom! Now that's a chef.
- No. I got a can of pasta sauce right here
with a picture of a chef on it.
That's what a chef wears.
Here's what a chef looks like. - You're sad.
- What is Ray wearing? - I'm dressed like a chef!
- What? From a cartoon?
- This guy gets it.
- Look at the can! The can's a lie?
- It's a cartoon guy. - This is what a chef looks like!
[ all shouting ]
- I am so sorry we are fully committed this evening.
There are no tables available...
Madam President.
Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't see you there
because I was just on the phone with...
The President.
- Wow. - Yeah.
- Uh okay... we would like to go to
the secret, underground restaurant.
We have a reservation. For Charlotte Page.
- Mmm. One moment.
[ Jasper makes clicking sounds ]
Ah ha! Here it is.
And I have a note here that says it's somebody's birthday today.
- Not mine. - It's not my birthday either.
- They give you free dessert
if you tell them it's your birthday.
- Then I guess it's my birthday. - Very good, sir.
This guy gets it.
JASPER: Right this way please.
- What'd I tell you about using flares in the kitchen, dude?!
RAY: What did I tell you about playing chess?
- That was Schwoz, dude! Chess is for nerds.
RAY: Ha! Yeah it is!
We good, Henry.
- Whatcha got there, a sound proof curtain?
- Piper?! How'd you get this piano down here?
- Schwoz has a thing.
- Okayyy, why do you have a piano down here?
- This is my baby grand, baby.
I'm gonna play some slow jams for tasty tips.
- It's one person coming to dinner.
- He's not a person. He's a celebrity.
You wouldn't understand.
- Do you even know how to play the piano?
- [ scoffs ]
Nobody actually knows how to play the piano.
I mean look at this thing, there's like a million buttons.
Fortunately, my phone just has one button.
[ piano music ]
[ elevator dings ]
- Whoa, they need to fix their elevator.
- You get used to it.
I assume. If you work here.
Which I don't. Hey look a piano!
- Nice playin'. I love a little slow jam.
- Money speaks louder than words.
- Uh, we have your table ready right over here.
Thanks.
- So what's this place called?
- It's called Food.
- That's dumb.
- Is it? What if I told you it's "food"
spelled with a U with two dots over it?
- See now that's cool.
Cool spelled with a U with two dots over it.
[ Henry and Jack laugh ]
- This guy gets it. This guy gets it.
[ music ]
[ loudly exhales ]
- Where's Jack Swagger?! - Uhhhh...
- We know he's here! Or my name isn't Blaze!
- Is your name Blaze? - Yes!
- Therefore we know he's here!
- Yeah. Where is he? - No no no no no no no.
There's no Jack Swagger here, alright!
There's just a bunch of junk! And a dashing cashier.
- We saw him walking in with a date!
- Yeah. And a piano player took a selfie with him
in some kind of restaurant!
It's all over the Internet.
- This store is probably not even real!
- Yeah. - Yeah!
- It's probably a fake front to hide
a cool underground restaurant for celebrities!
- No no no! It's a fake store that's a front for a super...
secret restaurant!
Yeah, there's a restaurant down there.
- Yes!
[ piano music ]
- This place is great. It's so private.
- I know. It's so annoying
how everyone stares at you everywhere you go.
- Yeah. It's so nice down here, just the two of us.
And those three guys over there.
- Don't you guys have to go cook our dinner or somethin'?
- Dinner's in the oven. - We're all good.
- We're taking our break.
[ elevator dings ]
- Right this way. Table for two.
HENRY: Uhhh...
- No! No no no! No no no!
- This is Henry, he'll be taking care of you this evening.
Oh and what a treat, you get to meet our chefs!
- First question: Do we have any food allergies I need to worry about?
No? - Give us a sec!
- Ahh! - Aieee!
- Who are those people?!
- I know that girl's name is Blaze, because that's how
she knew there was a secret restaurant down here.
- What?! - Or her name wouldn't be Blaze.
Also, also, also, also, Piper posted a selfie with Jack Swagger.
- Well that's just perfect!
♪ The tip jarrrrrr...
♪ is not just for showwwww...
- So now the entire Internet knows
there's a secret restaurant under Junk-N-Stuff?!
- 'Fraid so. I'll probably be back later
with more bad news byeeeee!
- I better start prepping.
Henry, push the shrimp. Hard.
I don't think I can get another day out of it.
- Piper, get in here right now!
- It's a sound proof curtain, dude.
- We'll see about that.
PIPER!
♪ my heart is just a tip jar babyyyy... ♪
♪ so don't leave me feelin' empty... ♪
- Piper! - Dude, stop. She's never going to hear you.
- Well there's a bunch of people in my Man Cave, Henry.
You can't expect me to just stand here and not yell!
PIPER!!!
- Yelling won't help. - Well I have to do something!
It's just a matter of time before someone
sticks their stupid little head through this curtain
and figures out what this "restaurant" really is!
- Hey, guys. - Ahhhh!
- Henry -- just sat your parents down at table two.
It's both their birthdays.
- Okay, thanks, Jasper.
M'parents?!
- Honey, are you still worried about the hawk?
- Yes! I think he has my scent.
- Relaaax. He can't get to you down in this restaurant.
Be present!
[ elevator dings ]
- Sorry, we don't have any tables.
- It's okay. We just came to stare at Jack Swagger.
- Ah, that's a very popular choice tonight.
May I also suggest the shrimp?
- Are your parents really here?! - Yes.
Stop that.
Also Jasper keeps bringing in more people.
- Aieee! What are we going to do?!
- Well. There's only one thing we can do.
- We burn this whole place to the ground.
- Okay, just let me gather some precious photos--
- No, no no no. No.
No. We can't ruin this date for Charlotte, okay.
We gotta keep cooking and convince these people
this is a real restaurant. - Henry is right.
We have to do this for Charlotte.
- And then tomorrow we'll just say it's "closed forever."
- Because of a fire!
- A fake fire.
- D'awww.
- But tonight...we're gonna give these people the best,
and only, dinner service of our entire lives.
Who's with me? - I'm in.
Let's do this for Charlotte. - And fire!
- Aieee. - Really dude?
- Oh. Sorry.
♪ I can taste your sugar, I can taste your heat ♪
♪ I'm too-- rub spice on me ♪
♪ Everybody's got their own decree ♪
♪ But I just want you
♪ want you, don't you want... ♪
♪ I can taste your sugar, sugar ♪
♪ I can taste your heat
[ piano music ]
- Honey. We're at a secret restaurant,
we paid a fortune for the hawk sitter,
and you're not paying any attention to me.
Be. Present.
- Okay the hawk scratched my cornea before we left the house
so I might be wrong, but...
I think that's Piper playing the piano.
- Piper doesn't know how to play the piano.
Nobody does, there's like a million buttons.
[ Kris gets a text on her phone ]
- Why do I have to be present, when you get to--
- Shh shh shh... it's the hawk sitter.
[ gasps ] Tony got out.
- Oh. No.
[ elevator dings ]
- It followed me down! It followed me down!
[ loud hawk cry ]
[ screaming ]
- Save yourself! He's come for me!
[ music ]
♪ I can taste your sugar I can taste your heat ♪
[ music ]
[ loud hawk cry ]
- Aaaaahhhhhh!!!!
[ In Unison ] Dinner is serrrrrrr...
- Where did all the peeples go?
- Looks like they left.
- Rude.
- That is rude.
- Let's hit the showers.
[ giggles ]
- STOP! - Ooooh.
Stop!
05x32 - Cave the Date
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After school, Henry becomes Kid Danger: Captain Man's superhero sidekick.
After school, Henry becomes Kid Danger: Captain Man's superhero sidekick.