01x04 - Gold Fever

[bunniefuu]

This is me, eliza thornberry.

Part of your average family.

I got a dad, a mom, and a sister.

There is donnie-- we found him.

And darwin? He found us.

[Jabbering]

Oh, yeah, about our house-- it moves.

'Cause we travel all over the world.

You see, my dad hosts this nature show

And my mom sh**t it.

Okay, so we're not that average.

[Panting]

And between you and me

Something amazing happened...

And now I can talk to animals.

It's really cool

But totally secret.

And you know what?

Life's never been the same.

[Captioning sponsored by the u.s. Department of education

And nickelodeon]

[Seagulls crying]

[Seals barking]

[Seagulls crying]

Eliza: wait, an old ship on this island?

Of course, I'm here on this island.

Been here all my life.

Almost as long as that old ship.

Hey, did I tell you about that ship?

Yes, where is it?

Oh, you're here for a visit?

You should go see the old ship.

But it's a ways

Over on the other side of the island in a cove.

Let's go check it out, darwin.

Thanks a lot.

Yanked a pot?

Speak up.

[Jabbering]

Donnie!

Oh, a lava pool.

A stunning reminder of this island's

Volcanically active past and present.

Really? An eruption would be great.

Oh, I don't imagine it'll erupt.

Oh.

Never fear.

I'll keep a close watch on donnie.

Uh, yes, good idea.

[Squeals, gurgles...]

[Laughing]

Inquisitive lad.

Always exploring.

[Metallic thud]

What's that, the volcano?

Actually, that sound was more metallic

Than geothermal.

[Metallic thud]

Debbie, what's going on here?

I'm just getting things ready.

For what?

The compacto pad .

Mom, it's trailer-ific.

We're not buying a trailer.

You promised me I could have my own room.

When?

When I was four; you took my room away.

I didn't take your room, eliza was born.

And haven't I suffered enough?

A trailer would cost a fortune

And we don't have it.

I waited years for personal space

And you say no?

You're oppressing me.

So, darling, what was all the hubbub?

That was the sound of oppression.

Eliza: see, darwin, if there is an old ship

It's probably a pirate ship.

'Cause these islands, they used to be crawling with pirates.

[Yelps]

[Grunting]

I see why they crawled.

[Both grunt]

[Screaming loudly...]

[Yelps]

Eliza: whoa...!

[Darwin screaming...]

[Both grunt]

Why did you...

[Gasps]

Darwin, look.

It's a real pirate ship.

Couldn't they draw a better flag?

Maybe put some hair on the guy's head or something.

Hey, wait for me.

Eliza: this ship is a piece of history.

Can you imagine what this ship has seen?

Better days?

Oh, cool.

What's inside there?

[Squeals]

And pirates enjoyed this?

And the c.d. Player would have gone here

Next to the lava lamp.

[Growling]

Trailer-ific.

Hey, deb, look what we found.

Stop!

Knock first.

Knock, knock.

What do you want?

Look what we found

On this great old shipwreck.

Neato, like you couldn't

Get that at a toy store.

What's this?

Blank, it figures.

[Gasps]

Wow.

It's a pirate map.

This is like major history.

You mean it's a treasure map?

This could lead to jewels

And gold and money for my trailer!

See you at the bank, squirt.

Hey, give that back!

That, that map should be in a museum.

Hey, eliza, do you still have

That compass mom and dad gave you?

Uh, maybe.

Okay, okay!

Grab a shovel and come on.

[Donnie gurgling]

Ah, the incense tree

Dormant most of the year.

In deference to this arid island climate.

Oh, isn't it thrilling, donnie?

Donnie?

[Yelping]

[Donnie panting]

[Gasps, yelps]

[Jabbering]

Donnie, what are you doing?

That iguana can't understand

A word you're saying.

[Jabbering]

[Chortling]

There he is.

Oh, sorry.

Are you filming?

Not anymore, it moved.

The rock moved?

Astonishing.

See, deb?

There's the cliff.

And there's the cove.

So, if that's the volcano

We're right here.

Okay, we need to turn south by southeast ten degrees

Then, in half a kilometer...

In english, long john weirdo.

Turn left.

[Gasps]

Whoa...

[Seagulls crying]

What's the map say?

It says cross here.

Maybe there's another way.

But, deb, deb, that was years ago.

It's not safe.

I'm not waiting around

Till they build a new one.

I'm going to find that treasure and buy my trailer, okay?

You wimps can stay here.

[Sighs]

What did she say?

Debbie thinks we're chicken.

"Chicken?"

But chickens have beaks

And wings and they go kind of like...

[Clucking]

Eliza, what are you doing?

Hey, wait for me.

[Yelps]

[Screaming...]

Help!

[Whimpering...]

Eliza!

[Yelps]

[Both grunting]

Thanks, darwin.

[Sniffing]

I smell sulfur.

That volcano must be active.

Ugh, it actively stinks.

[Volcano rumbling...]

Listen, debbie, if the volcano's acting up

Maybe we should head back.

Uh, de-debbie?

Did she go in there?

No, I'll bet she went home.

In fact, I'm sure she did.

Come on, let's go.

Nice try, darwin.

Come on.

[Loud rumbling...]

[Yelping...]

[Lava gurgling...]

Debbie?

Look! This is where we must dig!

Okay, okay. We've got to be really, really careful.

This is like an archeological dig.

We've got to go slowly.

[Grunting loudly]

Oh, be careful, debbie.

Let me help.

[Both grunting]

Dig! Dig!

[Both grunting]

Pull it out.

Pull it out.

Careful.

Careful.

[Both groaning]

A treasure, a treasure, treasure.

[Squeaks]

[Both gasp]

Debbie: oh... It's empty!

It's still cool.

It's not fair!

Come on, debbie, this thing

Is like years old.

And we've got the map and the telescope and...

Gold?

What?!

[Grunts]

Gold, gold, gold.

[Laughing]

There's enough here for ten trailers.

Boy, any museum would flip for this.

Hey, there's faces on both sides of these.

And it's the same guy, too.

I'm rich!

I'm rich!

I can buy anything... Uh!

[Kids shouting...]

[Beeping...]

Hmm, deb?

Why don't you go see what's down there?

What? Why?

Maybe there's a quicker way out.

Yeah, okay.

Help me, darwin.

We have to get this out of here before she comes back.

Why?

That was the plan:

Debbie leaves; we take the gold.

[Grunting, yelps]

What are you doing?

Oh, hi.

Me? Nothing, nothing, nothing.

Just, you know, making sure

That the handle wasn't broken, and it's not broken.

Boy, oh, the workmanship in the s.

I'll carry the chest.

Why should you carry it?

We'll flip for it: I call heads.

With a two-headed coin?

How dumb do you think I am?

I wasn't sure.

We'll both carry it.

[Volcano rumbling...]

[Rumbling]

Aren't those tremors stronger?

You win the science prize.

Less talking, more walking.

Excuse me. This chest weighs a ton.

We should get mom and dad to help us.

Mom and dad, are you crazy?

They'll give the gold to the foundation

Or buy some stupid nature stuff.

Wait a second, what happened to the museum?

Museums are for little clay pots and old bones.

They, they don't need this.

They can have uh, this really old rock.

[Jabbering]

Nigel: now, what would a boy your age like to do?

Of course... Cricket!

[Stops jabbering]

Mind you, we're short of bats and wickets

But we can certainly have a jolly good throw, can't we?

[Grunts]

Right.

A bit rusty

But nothing a few more throws won't cure.

Come on now.

Hurl it back to me, donnie, my boy.

Oh!

Ooh!

Ooh, heavens, marianne.

You've got a veritable rocket for an arm.

Hey, debbie.

Mind if we take a little break?

Do I mind?

It's , degrees and you're jogging.

No, I don't mind.

[Both grunting]

[Sighs]

You do look hot.

Better drink some water.

It's empty.

Hey, there's a stream over there.

Go fill your water bottle.

Yeah? Okay, good idea.

What has gotten into you?

What's so great

About these shiny pieces of metal?

You know how much you like sugar sparkle cereal?

You could trade this coin

For a whole houseful of sugar sparkles!

Ooh.

Hey, that's mine!

They're all mine.

What will you do with so many?

I'm going to buy a roller coaster.

No, no, no, a whole amusement park

And my own space station

And a mansion with horses

And a swimming pool.

And I'm going to fill the pool with pudding.

Can you swim in pudding?

I don't care.

Fill your pockets.

I don't have any.

If you were really my friend

You'd have pockets.

[Sighs]

There wasn't any stream.

Oops, sorry.

Let's get going.

Actually, I'm not sure

We're going the right way.

Here, take the map and go find something

And see where we are.

Okay, but I'll be right back.

Aha... Gold, gold, gold.

Mmm, mmm, mmm.

What are you looking at, monkey?

[Chatters]

We were on the trail the whole time.

[Violent volcanic rumbling]

[Darwin whimpers]

Forget it.

It's not going to hold us

And the gold.

Sure it will, go.

What happened to, "it's not safe?"

We were over there;

It's much safer here.

What are you doing?

What do you think I'm doing?

I think you want to push me

Off that old bridge.

That means you're thinking of pushing me off.

Hey, I didn't even want to cross the stupid bridge.

So you admit it.

Oh, get over it.

Forget it.

[Both grunting]

Oh, excellent.

Now, turn towards me.

That's right.

[Imitating barking seals]

Cut!

Sorry, poppet, did we ruin your sh*t?

Never mind, let's sh**t the volcano.

[Paint pots gurgling]

That's like the third tremor in two minutes.

I suppose you'll say

"Let's quit and go home," right?

You'll wait till I'm asleep, then sneak back

And take the gold into your hidden sea plane.

Sea plane? You are so paranoid.

Paranoid?

Because you want to take

Some ofmy gold?

You're right.

See.

I took some gold.

[Gasps]: I knew it.

I can't even trust my own sister.

You disappoint me.

I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry.

I'm putting it back.

That's more like it.

[More violent rumbling]

Aha, who's cheating who?

What do you think you're doing?

I'm taking my gold.

No, you're not. That was mine.

Well, this one's mine.

[Arguing, grunting]

Oh, all that rumbling and now nothing.

Not to worry.

The silence means the lava is surging.

Any minute now there'll be a major eruption.

[Gasps]: the girls!

One for me.

And one for me.

Both [angrily]: it's mine.

[Loud rumbling]

[Yelps]

[Yelping]

[Grunting, groaning...]

Oh...!

[Yelling...]

[Grunts]

[Yelling]

[Groaning]

[Groaning...]

[Gasps]: debbie!

[Groaning...]

Come on!

[Panting]

[Gulls crying]

[All shrieking]

Debbie, eliza!

I'll search the north side.

[Still shrieking...]

Found them.

Everyone get inside.

This is once in a lifetime.

Nigel, this is unbelievable.

Oh!

I'm sure it'll be lovely, dear.

Wouldn't want your feet to get toasted.

Oh, nigel.

Hey.

I can't get any privacy anywhere.

Hey, thanks for... Back there.

It's okay.

I guess things probably turned out all right.

How do you figure?

Well, we escaped a volcano

And we still have a telescope and a map

What would I do with a pool full of pudding anyway?

Yeah, maybe you're right.

[Gasps]

[Chuckling]: alone at last.

Darwin: I'm always the royal pet chimpanzee.

[Sighs]