03x03 - The House of No Return

[bunniefuu]

[ Wind Whistling ]

[ Man ]
Viewer beware.

You're in for a scare.

Goosebumps.

- [ Girl ] How long has he been in there?
- [ Boy ] Exactly 10 minutes and 31 seconds.

I have to admit.
He's got guts.

Looks like Danger Inc. is
gonna have a new member.

Not so fast, Nathan.

Doug's gotta stay in there
for a whole hour.

He's still got



No one's ever made it
past 5 minutes.

He's probably in there
taking a nap.

[ Dog Barking ]

[ Nathan ]
Hey, give me some more seeds.

- I just gave you a whole handful.
- I ate them.

[ Thudding ]

What was that?

- Time?
- He just told us.

I'm not waiting out here
a whole hour.

[ Nathan ]
Hey, what're you doing?

- You can't let him out.
- Let's admit it. Doug's not scared.

No, no, no.

Doug has to stay in there
for the whole hour.

- If he makes it, then he's in.
- I hope he doesn't make it.

- I don't even like him.
- Neither do I.

Well, I don't either.

But if he makes it,
we're stuck with him.

I just wanna look inside,
see what he's doing.

[ Door Banging ]

[ Sighing ]
OK, go.

[ Dog Barking ]

[ Door Creaking ]

I can't see a thing.

[ Screaming ]

[ Doug ] Somebody help!
Somebody help me!

[ Screaming ]

Help! Something's in here.

I can't get out.
Somebody help me.

Let me out. Let me out.

[ Screams ]

It touched me!
It touched my face!

Stay away, you guys.
It's in there.

[ Imitating Doug ]
It touched me! It touched my face!

- [ All Chuckle ]
- Oh, I knew he wouldn't make it.

They never do.

Good thing.
Could you imagine

if we had to let him into Danger Inc.?

- Why do we have to let anybody in?
- Because we only have 3 members.

- Yeah, but there're only 3 stooges.
- But that wasn't a corporation.

A corporation should
have a lot of members.

[ Lori ] I guess we have to
look for another victim.

- Someone cool...
- And brave.

Someone who won't freak out
in an empty old house.

Isn't there one brave kid
in this stupid town?

Besides us, of course.

[ Lori ] "It touched my face."
What do you think he meant?

Oh, he probably just walked
into a cobweb or somethin'.

- What a chicken.
- [ Door Banging ]

Hey, where's my money?

I had $5 right here.

Maybe it fell out while we were
shoving Doug into the house.

Yeah, it's probably up on the porch.

I'd to work hard to get that $5.

[ Dog Barking ]

[ Banging ]

Why don't you guys
help me look for it?

- Oh, just go get it.
- Yeah, don't be a baby.

Oh, great.

- Would you hurry up?
- I'm coming!

Let's get out of here.

Hey, you guys.

Wait up!

[ Woman ] But this is
your new neighborhood.

Don't you wanna explore it?

- Not really.
- Sure you do.

Who knows,

you might even
meet some new friends here.

C'mon, just take a walk,

and when you get back,
I'll make you some lunch.

Why don't you
just drive me around?

Chris.

Will you make me a cheeseburger
when I get back?

- OK.
- With bacon.

[ Sighs ]
Always making deals.

Come on, Mom, with bacon.

OK. With bacon.

- Now go on.
- All right. See you, Mom.

[ Birds Chirping ]

Hi.

- Hey, check it out.
- He's that new kid.

Yeah, and he probably
doesn't have any friends.

No friends.
The perfect candidate for Danger Inc.

I don't know.
He doesn't look very brave.

If you're in danger inc.,
you have to be brave.

True.
But if he's not,

it'll sure be fun scarin' him.

Hey.

- Your name's Chris, right?
- Yeah, Chris Wakely.

I'm Lori. And this is Nathan.

And Robbie.

- Hi.
- Listen. You're new in town. Right?

Yeah, just moved in last week.

So, you're probably lookin'
for some new friends,

- someone to hang out with.
- Sure. That'd be great.

- Do you wanna join our organization?
- Danger Inc.

- We have room for one more member.
- Danger Inc., what is it?

- It's a club for brave people.
- Oh, well, I'm not very brave.

You like horror movies,
don't you?

No, actually I cover my eyes
during the scary parts.

- [ Both Chuckles ]
- Well, you don't have to be that brave.

- Just have to do one thing.
- What's that?

- [ Bird Cawing ]
- [ Nathan ] Just one hour.

If you can make it
for one hour, you're in.

[ Robbie ] They call it
the House of No Return.

[ Chris ]
Why?

Years ago, a young couple
moved into town.

A beautiful young woman
and her husband.

[ Robbie ] He built this house for her.
Their dream house.

A place to raise their child.

But he made a mistake in
the construction of the house.

Their child broke through
a weak spot in the floor...

and fell to her death.

The couple were so sad,
they slowly went mad.

- [ Thunder Rumbling ]
- Days, weeks, months went by,

and the couple
never came outside.

One day, the police came.

They entered the house.
The couple were dead.

Their bodies were taken away,
and the house was sealed up.

[ Robbie ] Days later, children from
the neighborhood started to disappear.

[ Nathan ]
Some say they were kidnapped.

Others say the ghosts
of the couple took them.

But it's probably just
an empty old house.

So go on in, Chris. And then
you can be our new member.

- [ Chris ] I don't think so.
- Come on, we'll be right out here.

- Have you done it?
- Uh, done what?

Stayed in there for one hour.

- Well, no, but...
- But-- well, we-- we don't have to.

See, 'cause, uh,
w-we started the organization.

[ Nathan ]
We already know we like danger.

It's our middle name.

- [ Nathan ] Come on, man.
- We think you're a real cool guy.

We want you in our club.
Huh, Robbie?

You the man, Chris.

That's great.
But I don't think so.

I'll see you guys later.

[ Robbie ]
Danger Inc. is now in session.

Is there any new business?

[ TV Playing ]

You mean,
there's no new business?

This is the most boring
meeting I've been in.

What're you talking about?
They're all boring.

We need a new member.

[ Laughing ]

We haven't had a new member since
you started this stupid organization.

You know, that Chris has a lot
of nerve turning us down.

Yeah.
He is kind of stuck up, isn't he?

Yeah, new kid.
I'm a chicken, la-di-da.

[ Lori Chuckles ]
Maybe we should teach him a lesson.

Yeah.

Lesson ♪1:
How to be brave.

[ Phone Ringing ]

- Hello?
- [ Man On TV ] ...Increasing cloudiness...

Yes, hold on, please.

- Chris.
- For me?

Someone named Robbie.

Hello?

Yeah, sure.
That'd be great.

All right, I'll see you there.

OK. Bye.

Robbie?

Yeah, it's this kid
I met down the street.

He's got 2 friends,
Lori and Nathan.

They want me to go hang out
with them at the mall.

Well, I'm glad you're making
some new friends already.

Yeah. Maybe this place isn't
as bad as I thought it was.

You see? I told you.

All right.
I'm gonna walk over to Robbie's.

- Chris.
- Yeah, Mom?

- They're nice kids?
- Yeah, they're all right.

I don't think they're too smart,
but they're OK.

- I'll see you later.
- Yeah.

- Bye-bye.
- Bye, Mom.

- [ Owl Hooting ]
- [ Chris ] So, is this a cool mall?

[ Robbie ]
Yeah, it's cool all right.

This way.

- This must be a short cut, right?
- [ All ] Yeah.

[ All Chuckle ]

Are you sure
this is the way to the mall?

Listen to this,
new kid in town and he's telling us.

Really?

[ Dog Barking ]

Let's cross the street, all right?

- Why?
- That place freaks me out.

- Now!
- What are you--

- [ Robbie ] Come on!
- [ Chris ] Let me go.

Help. Help me. Help!

Help.

- Let me go.
- Get the door!

Help me. Help.

[ Robbie ]
Don't worry, Chris.

All you gotta do is stay
in there for a whole hour.

Help me.

Yeah, then we can see
how brave you are.

You can be our newest member.
We know you can do it.

- [ Groans ]
- [ Robbie ] Bye-bye.

Guys, let me out!
Let me out, guys, come on.

Let me out!

Come on, guys, open up.

It's not funny.
Come on, open up.

- I think it's funny.
- [ Chuckles ]

[ Chris ] You guys are real jerks.
You know that?

[ Nathan ]
We'll let you out in one hour.

[ Heartbeating, Growing Louder ]

[ Thudding ]

[ Chris ]
Let me out, guys, let me out.

- Open up, come on, open up.
- There's someone in here.

- Maybe we shouldn't do this.
- No, it's just his imagination.

- I know, but--
- [ Chris ] Come on, open up, please.


And then we'll let you out.

And then you'll be
a member of Danger Inc.

[ Panting ]
Guys...

[ Dog Barking ]

All right, Chris.

Calm down.
Old houses make noises.

That's just what old houses do.

[ Lori ]
Do you think he's OK?

Hmm...

[ Door Creaking ]

Hello? Is anybody there?

[ Door Creaks ]

- Hello?
- [ Bat Screeching ]

[ Grunts ]

Go away.

I'm just gonna stand here
against this wall.

That way,
nothing can sneak up on me.

I'm just gonna stand here.

I think he gave up.

He already stayed in there
longer than anyone ever did.

I guess he's gonna be
our new member.

Hey. Chris has got a
long time to go, all right?

A long time.



[ Sighs ]

[ Whistling ]

[ Clinking ]

[ Gasps ]

[ Gasps ]

[ Thudding ]

Beware of the House of No Return.

[ Voices ]
Don't be afraid, dear child.

We're coming. We're coming.

We're coming for you.

[ Grunts ]

- C'mon.
- We're coming. We're coming.

We're coming for you.

[ Floorboards Creaking ]

We're here.

[ Screaming ]

What?

Nothing. I just wanted
to make sure you were awake.

- Real funny.
- What time is it anyway?

- [ Dog Barking ]
- 5 more seconds.



Let's go get him.

All right, Chris. You made it!

You're now a member of Danger Inc.

Hey, Chris! Open up.

- [ Lori ] What's he doing?
- I don't know.

- Chris!
- [ Banging ]

- Open up!
- What should we do?

Break the door down.
Ready?

On 3. 1, 2,

- 3.
- [ Both Grunting ]

Again! 1, 2,



[ Thudding ]

Hey, check this out.

Why would Chris board up the door?

- Maybe he didn't.
- What is that supposed to mean?

I don't know.

Chris?

Chris!

- Man, this is getting weird.
- He's probably playing a trick on us.

- Chris?
- Yo, Chris!

Well, he's probably just hiding.

H-he's probably behind
that bookcase over there.

He couldn't move that by himself.

Yeah.

Hey, how about in there?

Why don't you go check it out?

- Uh, alone?
- [ Whispers ] I'll go with you.

- [ Door Creaking ]
- H-h-hey, wait, wait. I'll come, too.

- [ Thunder Clapping ]
- Well, he's not in here.

If he's playing a trick on us...

You mean, like
the one we played on him?

Huh?

Come on, let's keep looking.

Chris! Come on out.
This isn't funny anymore.

You got us good, Chris.
Now come on!

[ Groaning ]

- Robbie.
- What? What is it?

That is too weird.

Well, Chris probably did that while
we were in the other room.

- [ Man's Voice ] I don't think so.
- Hello? Who said that?

I did.

Chris? Is that you?

[ Panting ]

[ Grunting ]

[ Woman's Voice ]
That won't do you any good.

[ Voices ] We're coming down.

Children. My children.

Welcome...
To the House of No Return.

[ Gasps ]

Wh-where's Chris?

- He left.
- Left?

- Out the back door.
- We didn't want him to leave, did we?

Oh, no.
We wanted him to stay.

We love children.
But he made a deal with us.

A deal?
What kind of a deal?

A very good deal.
A real bargain. Oh, yes.

C-c-can we make a deal?

Oh, you could never make
the kind of deal he made.

- Very pleasing to my wife.
- [ Chuckles ]

- [ Thunder Rumbling ]
- What kind of a ba-- bargain was it?

He promised that if we let him go,




And you know
how much we love children.

Now we have 3 more.

He promised you'd come,
and here you are.

- Right on schedule.
- Wh-what're you gonna do to us?

- A-are you gonna let us go?
- Let you go?

We can't let you go.
We're a family now.

- We love you.
- And we're going to love you

forever.

- Forever.
- Forever.

- Forever.
- [ both Laughing ]

[ Lori Screaming ]