01x09 - Spring Fling

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Zoey 101". Aired: January 9, 2005 – May 2, 2008.*
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Series centers around Zoey Brooks as she enrolls in Pacific Coast Academy, a prestigious Southern California boarding school that previously only allowed boys to attend.
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01x09 - Spring Fling

Post by bunniefuu »

WOMAN: ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ I'm just another
kind of girl ♪

♪ And you want
to see my world ♪

♪ So come and run away ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ If you wanna play ♪

♪ Come and play today ♪

♪ Let's just get away, yeah ♪

♪ I will make you see ♪

♪ All of the things ♪

♪ That you can be ♪

♪ Believe in yourself ♪

♪ Come follow me ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

NARRATOR: And now, back to

the Documentary Channel's
feature presentation:

Grass: Nature's Carpet.

There are many different types
of grass.

For example...

- Okay, why are
we watching this?

- I hate grass.

- Yeah, change the channel.

- On it.

[button clicking]

MICHAEL: Make it stop.

- I'm trying!
The remote's not working!

- Ooh, my grandfather
said that when he was a kid,

they'd just walk up to the TV
and change the channel

by turning a dial or something.

- So I have to get up?

- Oh, just do it.

NARRATOR: Today's golf courses
are a good example

of man's mastery over grass.

- I see no dial.

- Papa lied to me?

- Nicole! Dana!
Guess what I did!

- You bought a universal remote.

- No.

- Forget him.
What'd ya do?

- I signed us up to be on

the planning committee
for Spring Fling!

- Us?
ZOEY: Yeah!

You, me, and Nicole.

How cool is that?

- Not very.

- Yeah, Spring Fling is lame.

- Lame?
- Lame.

- Why?
- 'Cause every year

they get some band
that no one wants to hear...

- And we all sit outside,

eat lukewarm wienies,

and wish we were
somewhere else.

- I hate lukewarm wienies.

- Well, this year,
Spring Fling's gonna be awesome

'cause us girls are planning it,
right?

BOTH: [moaning]

- Oh, act excited.

[louder moaning]

MICHAEL: Face it, Zoey.

Nobody wants to sit outside

in the hot sun
and watch some lame band.

- Well, what if we get
someone awesome,

like Drake Bell?

- I love him!

- Wait, we're gonna get
Drake Bell?

- We're gonna try.

NARRATOR:
Look how green it is.

- No more grass!
I can't take it!

NARRATOR:
Coming up next, weeds.

- Yeah, I'd like to speak

to the manager for Drake Bell.

- Ask him if he'll sign
my poster!

- Shh! Oh, hi.

I'm in charge of Spring Fling
here at PCA,

and we'd just die to get
Drake Bell.

- Tell him I think
he's cute!

- Shh!

Really?
That's awesome!

They give discounts to schools!

- We go to a school!

- Huh?

Um, yeah. Okay.

Let me check,
and I'll call you back.

[phone beeps]

- Well?

- Either of you got $5,000?

- 5 grand?

- That's the school
discount rate?

- Zoey!
- Hey, kiddo.

- Is it true?
- What?

- That you're getting
Drake Bell

to come play at Spring Fling?

- Well...

- Sorry, kid.
Drake's not coming.

- How come?

- His manager wants


- So get it.

- Sure, we'll just go buy it
at the $5,000 Store.

- You know, we could have
a fund-raiser.

- Do you think we could
raise enough money?

- Yeah. There's like hundreds
of kids at this school.

We should be able to raise


- Here, I'll make
the first donation.

- Where did you get 20 bucks
from?

- Quinn.
- Quinn?

- She's paying me to help her
with an experiment.

- What kind of experiment?

- Sleep deprivation.

- What is
sleep deprivation?

- Going without sleep.

- No sleep at all?

- None.

- Why?

- To see what happens...

There.

[beeping]

Now it's locked.

- What's it do?

- If you fall asleep,

it shocks you to wake you up.

- It shocks me?

- It shocks you?

- Only if I start
to fall asleep.

See, watch.

[beeping, crackling]

Yah!

See?

QUINN: Dustin!
You must stay awake.

- I know!

Man...

- Ooh, here he comes.

- Okay, everybody
look cute.

- Um, excuse me,
Dean Rivers?

- Yes, what is it,
girls?

- Would it be okay if we--

- Please, please, please,
please, please?

- Uh, Nicole?

First I ask,

then you beg.

- Oh. Right.

- So would it be okay
if we had a fund-raiser?

- For what?

- So we can get
a really great band

for our Spring Fling.

- Hmm.

Would there be any clowns
at this fund-raiser?

- Um, we hadn't planned on
clowns.

- Good.

I hate clowns.

- Um, is everything okay?

DEAN RIVERS: Why?

- You seem fidgety.

- That's because
I have a meeting today

with PCA's
chairman of the board.

- Oh.
- I see.

- Ah.

- He's a little bit...weird.

- Hey, at least he's not
a clown.

[laughter]

- Never joke about clowns.

- Sorry.

- He's kinda freaky.

- Kinda?
- Who cares?

We got our fund-raiser!
Whoo!

[engine revs]

[radio plays rock music]

♪ ♪

Whoa.

NICOLE:
Check out that ride.

- What's up, girls?
- Hey!

Were you just playing
a Drake Bell song in your car?

- Oh, yeah.
Why? Do you like him?

- Yeah, we're trying
to get him to play

at our Spring Fling.
- Really?

Wow, man,
when I was a student here,

Spring Fling was always lame.

- You went to school here?

- If I didn't,
would I have this on my arm?

- A pimple?

- Oh, no, sorry.
Wrong arm.

There ya go.

- Whoa, a PCA stingray?

- How cool!

- Yeah! Sweet tat.

"Tat" means tattoo.

- Thanks.
Oh, cool car too.

- Oh, thanks.
Yeah, I love it.

- Yeah, it's nice.

- No, seriously. I love it.

Like, I would totally marry it
if that were legal

and if I hadn't already married
Elaine.

Man, she bugs me.

Oh, well.

I gotta go pay a visit
to your dean.

- Wait, you're
the chairman of the board?

- That'd be me.

- What does a chairman
of the board do anyway?

- Ah, not much, really.

Basically,
I just stop by once a month

and harass the dean.

Oh, that reminds me...

[squeak, squeak]

He hates clowns.

Later, girls.

QUINN: The subject has now
been awake

for 36 hours straight.

How do you feel?

- Tired.

- Note that the subject
feels tired.

Pupils dilated,

eyes bloodshot...

Nice.

- Thanks.

- Okay, now I'm going to test
your sensory responses.

- What are sensory resp--

[horn blasts]

Aah!

- Note that the subject's
hearing still seems normal.

- It was till you blew
that horn in my ear!

- Note:
subject becoming irritable.

Okay, now look away.

- Why?
- Because I'm paying you.

Now look away.

- [screaming]

- Note:
subject's reaction to cold...

- [screaming]

- Normal.

- Okay, people!
Thanks for coming

to help out
with this fund-raiser.

- Do we get paid for this?

- No.

- Now, all we gotta do
is raise $5,000,

and then we can get Drake Bell
to play at our Spring Fling.

[all cheering]

Now, let's make sure
everyone knows their jobs.

Dana, you're in charge
of the Bully Bash.

- Love the bashin'.

- Oh, and thank you to Jack

for taking time off
of his bullying

to help us out.

- You just better get
Drake Bell.

Or you're all dead.

- All right.

- Nicole, you're gonna start off
with the watermelon smash.

- Are you sure kids
are gonna pay money

to hit a watermelon
with a baseball bat?

- Yes. Boys love
to smash things. Trust me.

- It's true.
- We enjoy the smashing.

- Okay, now, Michael,
you're gonna start off

by selling the new Drake
T-shirts.

- I can do that.

Hey, these are cool.

Where'd you get 'em?

- Zoey designed 'em.

- Now, me and Chase
and the rest of the girls

are gonna start off
by washing the teachers' cars.

Now, we've got eight hours
to raise $5,000.

We gonna do it?

[all cheering]

[rock music]

- Come on!

MEN: ♪ Tell me what it is ♪

♪ You want from me ♪

♪ Is it only curiosity? ♪

[singing indistinctly]

♪ Are we ready to hear
the song? ♪

[cheers and applause]

♪ ♪

[cheers and applause]

♪ And I may seem
a little crazy ♪

♪ And I can't wait for you
to see me ♪

♪ And I won't tell you how... ♪

[crowd cheering]

- Yeah!
- Yay!

[laughing]

- [screaming]

♪ ♪

[water splashes]

- So how much did we make?

- A little over a thousand.

- That's it?

- Well, a thousand

and this bus token.

- Great.
We're only 4,000 short.

- Well, so maybe
we don't get Drake Bell.

What kind of band can we get
for a thousand bucks?

[upbeat instrumental music]

♪ ♪

- Spring Fling's
gonna be lame.

- Yeah.

[engine revs]

[upbeat pop music playing]

[music switches off]

- Hey, girls. How'd your
little fund-raiser go?

- Not great.

- We only raised a thousand.

- Oh, well, uh...

How much you need
to get Drake Bell?

- $5,000.

- Ooh! Uh...

Say, tell me,
is your car wash still open?

- Um, not really.

- That's too bad,

because for a really good
car wash,

I'd be willing to pay--
oh, I don't know--

around 4,000 bucks.

- Seriously?

- Why would you pay us
so much?

- 'Cause when I went to PCA,

Spring Fling was always lame,
but now I'm rich,

so what, do you want the money
or don't you?

- Yeah!
- Totally!

- Absolutely!
- All right.

I'm staying at the hotel
across the street.

I'm gonna leave my car here
on campus tonight.

You guys wash it tomorrow.

I got meetings all day,

but I can be back
in the afternoon to pick it up,

say 5:00ish. Coolio?

- Cool.
ZOEY: Thank you so much!

- Yeah, no problem.
Later, girls.

- We did it!
- Whoo!

- Come on!
Let's go book Drake Bell!

- Yay!

[solemn music]

♪ ♪

- [sighing, yawning]

[beeping, crackling]

Yah!

I hate this experiment.

QUINN: I heard that.
- Good!

- There. Done.
- Perfect.

- Gorgeous.
- Wait.

I left a rag inside
on the floor.

[gear clicks]

Got it.
- Done.

- Now, we better get to class
before--

- Zoey!
- The car!

- Stop it!
- I can't stop it!

[crash, glass shatters]

- It stopped.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Do you think
it's noticeable?

DANA: Yeah, Nicole.
I think it's noticeable.

- Well, don't yell at me.

I didn't bump
the shifter thingy.

- It was an accident!

- Yeah, tell that to Mr. Berman

when he sees what we did
to his baby.

NICOLE: What do you think
he'll say?

- He'll probably start with,
"Give me my $4,000 back."

- But we already booked
Drake Bell.

- Zoey,
I got your text message.

What happened?
- That's what happened!

You see what happened!

- It's wrecked.

- Thank you, Michael.

- We're dead.

- Relax. Nobody's dead...
yet.

- Oh, they will be when

that dude come back
to see his car.

- Is that helpful?

Is that a way
to be a helpful person?

- I'm sorry.

CHASE: All right, all right.

We're just gonna have to
get it fixed.

- How?
- We're girls!

We're not car-fix-it people!

- Calm down.
We'll find a guy.

- That's a bad hit.

NICOLE: We know that.

- So can you fix it?

- By 5:00 this afternoon?

- That gives me about...

Four hours.
Yeah, shouldn't be a problem.

- How much?

- Well, let's see...

That's...

$1,500 for parts,

$2,000 for labor.

Plus, I'm gonna need
a sandwich at some point,

but I'll take care of that
myself.

So total comes to...

$2,500.

- Um, actually,

I think it comes to $3,500.

Ow!

- Thanks.

- Could you let us talk
privately for a sec?

- You like me?

- Yeah, you're fine.

- Okay, go ahead and talk.

- How you guys gonna pay
for all this?

- We gotta use the money
Mr. Berman gave us.

- So bye-bye, Drake Bell.

- Yep.
So much for Spring Fling.

- I got lonesome.

- Subject has now been awake
for 62 hours straight.

How do you feel?

- Kinda...weird.

- Right.

In fact, at this stage
of sleep deprivation,

some subjects have often
been known to hallucinate.

Have you had
any hallucinations?

Dustin!

Have you had any hallucinations?

Bock, bock, bock, bock.

[blows raspberry]

- Nah...

You look great.

[beeping, crackling]

Yah!

- It's 5:00.
Where's the car?

- Mr. Berman's gonna be here
any minute.

- And that minute
would be this one.

- But we don't have
his car yet!

- I'm aware of that!
- Well, so what do we do?

- Um...uh...

Chase, Michael!
Go distract him!

- How?

- I don't know!
Just go do it!

Where's the dude with the car?

- Whoa!
Here, take my wallet

and don't hurt me.

[both laughing]

- No, see,
we're students here at PCA.

- Yes, we are.
- Ah.

And how can I help you?

- Uh...

- Uh, you know...

- We just--
we just wanted to show you...

our new dance!

- Yeah, our new dance!

- And why do you want to show me
your dance?

- Well, to, you know,
get your opinion on it.

Dance.
- Do what?

- Dance!

- Oh, oh, oh!

- There he is!

- Well...

I got her fixed,
but it was not easy--

- Yeah, yeah.
Here's your money. Bye!

- He's coming!

- Hey, I don't really

have a ride back,
so I was wondering

if maybe you could call me
a taxi?

- Here's a bus token!
See ya!

- Bye!
- Go home!

MR. BERMAN:
Hey! There's my baby.

- Hi!
- Mr. Berman.

- What's up?

- Thanks, girls.

Have fun at Spring Fling.

- [sighs]
Right. Bye.

- Thanks again.

[both panting]

- What happened?
- It's fine.

- We got his car back
in time.

- Except, we had to give that
goofy mechanic all our money.

- We better go call
Drake's manager

and tell him we have to cancel.

- Wait, wait, wait.
We still have 1,500 left.

- So?

- So maybe if we explain
what happened,

Drake'll be willing to play
for a little less.

- 1,500?

We agreed on 5,000.

NICOLE: Yes, we did.

- And we had 5,000.

- Until we wrecked a car.

- Then we had to pay
to get it fixed.

NICOLE:
And this is all we have left.

- But you can have it all.
- And my watch.

- And this necklace.
- And this hat.

- That's my hat.
- b*at it.

- Well?

- I'm sorry, girls.
We had a deal.

Okay, boys, put everything back
on the bus!

We're not playing here today.

- [scoffs] Zoey!

There's like a thousand kids
out there

waiting to hear Drake Bell!

We promised them music!

- Hey, man.

DANA: Oh, my God!

- Oh, my God!

You're Drake Bell!
- What's up?

[Nicole screams]

- Hey!
- Nicole!

- [chuckles]
- Sorry.

- It's okay.

So, hey, did I hear you say
the gig was canceled?

- Yeah, we're outta here.

- What happened?

- They don't have
the money.

- But, man, there's already
all those kids out there.

- Drake, I can't let you
play for $1,500.

- Hey, it's him!

- You're you!
- I'm me.

- You are.

- So are you guys gonna play?

- Guys, unless you have
$5,000, I can't--

- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Wait. Wait a second.

Where did you guys get
those T-shirts?

- Oh. I made 'em.

- Really?
- Pretty cool, huh?

- Very cool.

That design's way better
than ours.

- My girlfriend
designed this!

- Yeah, it's...

It's not good.

- I know.

- So these shirts
are your design?

- Yeah!
- Okay. Tell you what.

You let us have
your T-shirt design,

and I'll play the concert
for free.

[Nicole screams]

- Sorry.
A bee stung me.

[piano plays]

- ♪ I'm tired
of all your excuses ♪

♪ ♪

♪ I'm tired of all your lies ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Your filthy schemes
and abuses ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Well, I finally grew wise ♪

- Hey, Zoey,
best Spring Fling ever!

- Good job, you guys!

- Thanks!

- ♪ Maybe it's better ♪

♪ That I'm not around ♪

♪ And I'm on a highway
to nowhere ♪

♪ Trying to get by without you ♪

♪ I don't know why
it took me so long ♪

♪ To wind up back
in nowhere with you ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Wind up back in nowhere
with you ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Wind up back in nowhere ♪

♪ Wind up back in nowhere
with you ♪

- Hey, have any of you seen
Dustin?

♪ ♪

- Do it.

[beeping]

QUINN: Dustin?
What did you do?

Hello?
Has there been a malfunction

with the bracelet?

Dustin?
The experiment is not over.

What is your location?

Dustin?

[static]
Dustin?

Hello?

- ♪ Wind up back in nowhere ♪

♪ With you ♪

♪ Wind up back in nowhere
with you, oh ♪

♪ Wind up ♪

♪ Back in nowhere... ♪

- Dustin!
- Dustin!

- Dustin! Dustin!

DRAKE:
♪ Wind up back in nowhere ♪

♪ With you ♪

♪ Wind up back in nowhere ♪

♪ With you ♪

[tempo picks up]

♪ Back in nowhere ♪

♪ Nowhere ♪

♪ Wind up back with you ♪

♪ Back in nowhere ♪

♪ Nowhere ♪

♪ Wind up back with you ♪

♪ Back in nowhere ♪

♪ Nowhere ♪

♪ Wind up back with you ♪

[cheers and applause]

[ding]

MAN: Mmm.

GIRL: Blah-ah-ah-ah!
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