Como se dice en español...
Si el tren se para
antres de las estaciones.
Quedence adentro
no salga afuera.
Aprendi eso en la escuela.
Manly yes, but I like it too.
Donde esta la amiga?
Si, como no!
Hmm, peligro.
Caliente.
Hmm...
Ay que lastima.
Un tere tere, doce doce...
Oh...!
Would you guys like
some more peanuts?
Uh...
Actually, I... y'know,
ordinarily, I would say yes.
But they're fattening.
Not so much that they're
fattening...
Aren't they sort of
high in, uh... fat?
Yeah.
No, I'm really taking
this whole thing seriously,
since the check-up,
you know.
He scared me.
What'd he tell you,
what'd he tell you?
Well, he said that I'm
a really good candidate.
For a massive heart att*ck.
Oh.
Wow.
That's terrible.
So what was your
cholesterol level?
He said it was 320.
Wow, red alert.
my hair has fat in it.
I get winded, I get winded
when I use a rotary phone.
Oh!
But, you know, I've been
working out for years now.
Yeah?
And I'm... I have the body
of, like, a 46-year-old.
I mean, feel this, feel this.
Feel the stomach here.
I'd rather not.
No, put your hand here.
I'd just as soon...
Put your hand right here.
Okay.
Not there...
Here, here.
Okay, okay,
let me see.
Huh?
That's very tight.
Look at that.
As svelte as a kitten.
Look at this.
That's... how do
you do that?
How do I do that?
I suck it in.
Oh, wait let me try that.
You got nothing there.
That's nothing.
Oh, that's something.
Julie, you're in great shape.
How do you do it?
Oh, god, y'know,
I'm obsessed with it.
That's what I'm in school for.
I didn't know that.
Yeah, Julie actually wants to...
You wanna be a
physical therapist?
Is that the idea?
Yeah.
Is that like an aerobics person?
No, no.
I guess what I wanted to know is.
Were you gonna put on one
of them, you know...
Spandex?
Yeah.
No, mm-mm.
So you're, like, a, more
like a physical therapist?
Yeah.
You work with people
who've had a stroke.
Or something like that?
Yeah.
I'll see you soon.
Jonathan, y'know, all you need
to do is 40 minutes a day,
four times a week, and...
I don't have 40 minutes a day.
Four days a week to
give up to my body.
You know, as much as I love it.
And I'll show you
my favorite part.
Y'know...
Hey, hey, hey, crazy idea...
Stop me if you
think I'm nuts here.
Three days a week.
You come to my office,
give me a half-hour workout,
the second half our,
I'll give you therapy.
An even deal, a tradeoff.
No, Jonathan, I'm not
comfortable with that idea.
Don't make a decision now.
No, I don't wanna do it.
I don't wanna
hear an answer now.
No, Jonathan, you see...
Think about it, okay?
What do you think?
Jonathan.
Seriously.
Jonathan, I don't want therapy.
But what I would love.
Is if you would teach me
to play the guitar.
Julie?
Yeah?
I don't know if you know
the degree of the problem here.
Show her your stomach.
No, I would just as soon not...
She's gonna see
my stomach soon enough.
Show her what you
did before, with the...
Stick it out.
Okay, here we go.
Wow!
Watch out.
I'm in my third trimester.
Jeez.
Please stop pacing and sit down.
Why does he always make me wait?
Well, your appointment
is not for another.
Two hours, Mr. attell.
Mm-hmm.
I'm always wrong,
he's always right.
All I'm saying is that if you
didn't get here so early,
you wouldn't
have to wait so long.
You were here when I arrived.
You know, I'm sorry.
I forgot who I was talking to.
Let's have some quiet time!
First of all, let's take
a deep breath, Dave.
Tell me... let's talk a little
more about your dad.
You know when you're young,
you think your dad's superman,
and then you grow up
and you realize.
He's just a regular
guy who wears a cape?
Do you think he was an
overly protective father?
Well, he never let me
have fireworks.
All I had was sparklers.
Sparklers.
I think a flashlight is more
dangerous than a sparkler.
My friends have m-80s,
bottle rockets,
sticks of dynamite.
I'm walking around like.
The special olympic torch boy.
"Hey, fellas, how's it go...
Ow, ow!"
Now I'm a moving target.
I remember one time
my dad was wearing pants.
It must have been Thanksgiving.
Yeah.
I, uh... have a friend.
I went clothes shopping
with this friend of mine.
He's even worse than me.
He bought a pair of overalls.
He's like, "Dave,
what goes with this?"
I'm like, "I don't know,
they're overalls."
"I guess a banjo.
"I don't know.
"I know what doesn't go with it:
Jobs and women."
Um... doctor?
I bought you a figurine.
Thanks.
It's a delft elf.
Do you go to the movies?
No.
Do you play sports?
Maybe.
Do you go to the theater?
I went to the opera once.
Yeah?
You know, I'm sitting at
the opera, and I'm thinking,
"look how much work it
takes to bore me."
Hm.
Laura?
Can you tell
Ms. kightlinger.
That I'm running a little late?
Hello?
John, Jonathan.
Julie?
Yeah?
We still on?
Yeah.
I should be by around three.
I don't have to bring
anything special,
any kind of special equipment?
No, no, no.
I'll bring a...
I'm gonna bring a mat.
I'm gonna bring some free
weights, some ankle weights,
some wrist weights...
Okay, and bring stuff
for me too, because...
This is for you.
Oh, okay.
This is for you.
And what about clothes?
I brought a few options.
Okay, tell me what you got.
I have...
Well, I have tights,
black tights...
Okay.
...and a t*nk top,
and I brought sweatpants.
Good.
And a sweatshirt and some...
I brought actually some sweat,
just in case we don't
get to do the hard stuff.
Why do you think it happens?
Well, I think it's because
I make the same...
You know, I make
the same mistake.
Three and four times with men,
and it just seems
to me, at this point,
what I should do is
start putting post-its.
On men's head that say:
"Do not sleep with
this guy again."
And then maybe a sentence,
one line as to why I shouldn't,
like "don't sleep
with him again."
Re: Mommy."
You have to keep trying.
You have to give yourself
a little push,
even if you're afraid, you know.
I can't go on a date, because
it's always a disaster.
I don't know why it is,
but whenever I'm dressed up
to meet someone,
to go to a nice restaurant,
without fail,
I walk out of the bathroom.
With a little piece
of toilet paper.
Still stuck to my tongue.
There's a lot of
crazy people on the street.
Mm-hmm.
I'm walking down the street,
and I see this guy,
and he's just screaming.
He's running down the block,
he's screaming, he's like,
"ants, ants!
"They're all over me!
Ants, ants, ants!"
He gets to the curb,
he looks both ways.
"Ants!"
The only time you
notice these guys.
Is when they do something
normal, you know?
I'd love to follow
this guy, like, on his day.
"Ants, ants!
"One for legends of the fall.
"Ants, ants!
Can you
super-size this?"
So then I see this other guy,
this one crazy guy,
he's just laughing at
an empty juice container.
He's just laughing at it.
And he sees me looking at him,
and he goes, "jealous?"
And you know something?
I was a little jealous.
What is the secret, crazy?
Let's try some pushups.
Okay, pushups, I have to tell
you, are not my strength.
Okay, do you wanna
do them on your knees?
Would that be better?
Uh, I think that's
girl-style.
Well, it can be
boy-style too.
I would rather
do ten boys' pushups.
Than 20 girls' pushups.
Okay, well, then let's do ten...
So let's do ten boys' pushups.
All right, now make sure, you
have to squeeze your glutes.
Okay.
Now...
Oh, don't touch me there.
A little higher.
Well, no, see, I'm just trying
to keep your hips down.
So let's push this down.
Push it down.
Come on, push it down.
Okay, good.
Can I stop for a second?
No.
This is...
Okay, four...
Julie, I'm bleeding.
Where?
I'm bleeding internally.
You're not serious about this.
I told you.
No, I'm serious.
I think that we
have to figure out.
What my capabilities are.
Like, maybe I'm not
ready to do...
I used to do, in high school,
I used to be able
to do 50 pushups.
Mm-hmm.
Over a period of
a couple of weeks.
But I would do them.
Now I can't really...
I can't produce.
Those kind of numbers.
So let's figure out what you
think I'm capable of,
and every session,
we'll raise that by one.
Jonathan, I really think
that you're capable.
Of maybe not ten,
okay, maybe not ten...
Let's start with
a series of five.
On each of these things
that you're trying to do.
Okay, now, will you push that
thing down again for me?
Yes.
That helps a lot.
Yeah, all right.
And then pull it up.
But you can cut your losses.
There are certain things
you can do now.
That's why I've
decided to exercise.
I've never exercised.
I mean, I don't
like the looks of it.
Well, you're young still,
you know?
Right, but, you know, I'm
bigger than you, you know?
I mean, in a fat way,
I'm a bigger man than you...
And you're not that big.
You don't...
You actually look fit.
Yeah, but you're actually
an athlete, Ben.
I mean, what did
you win at camp?
You won that buoyancy
thing, there.
That was...
You know what I'm talking about?
Camp yomi?
Yes, yes, it was a, uh...
First place in floating
in the pool.
It was a joke, though.
It was a joke award.
They were making fun of me.
Well, but still, you...
But I kept it.
You're the athlete
in the family.
I mean, a lot of what you
see as big is musculature.
And also you have some
baby fat on you still.
That's not baby fat anymore.
You will shed that
as you get older.
Dad, I'm 24 years old.
Look, you could get on
this program with me.
You could join,
and all you'd have to do.
Is get up off the couch.
I've lost you already, huh?
I just fell asleep for a second.
I'm sorry.
You have to get up
off the couch.
Yeah?
And say,
"I, Benjamin Daniel katz,
"love myself, and will
treat my body.
"With the respect
that it deserves,
every day of the rest
of my life."
Can you do that?
I can't.
You know, I can't
push myself like that.
I mean, I do love me.
I'm just asking
you to take a vow.
I'm not asking you to
do any exercises.
Oh, okay.
Would you do that for me?
Sure.
Would you stand up and say that?
Well... well,
you know, dad...
Please, Ben.
No, don't press me, dad.
Don't press like that.
Well, I...
Don't press on me.
You're all over me.
You're a shapely man
yourself, dad, in a way.
I mean, you're a little heavy
around the hip area.
I'm built to bear children.
Doctor, prostate cancer...
Did the c.I.A. Start that?
Prostate cancer?
Yes.
It came from somewhere.
I don't know.
It seems like it's
a recent phenomenon.
With bill Bixby?
Bill Bixby wasn't
a real c.I.A. Guy.
No, he was a magician.
I know that.
Oh, did he die
of prostate cancer?
He did!
You know, supposedly they say.
That your chances of
surviving prostate cancer.
Are just as good if
you don't operate.
Hm.
Hey, do you wanna go
to a party later?
Wow.
You are a downer.
I might be a manic depressive,
but you've got some issues
yourself, doctor.
I mean, really.
You know, you've gotta
wake up, smell yourself,
and really say it.
It seems like whenever
I'm at my lowest point,
I have to run into somebody
who's at their highest point,
and this happened to me a
week after I got fired.
This guy I went
to school with...
I hadn't seen him
in 100 years...
Bumps into me on
the street, and he says,
"hey, Laura,
how's it going?"
And I'm just shocked, at first
trying to think of who he is,
and then he says,
"wow, I've had
the most incredible streak.
"Y'know, I was a production
assistant on a film...
"Now I own the film company,
"and I'm starring in
the features we produce.
"Isn't that incredible?
"I really made it.
Yeah, so what have
you been up to?"
I said, "well, uh, jeez..."
"Despite the accident,
I'm still able to hold.
"A ball in my hand
and grip it tightly,
"and then slowly release it.
"Well, listen, I should scoot.
"I've just soiled myself while
we were talking,
"and I've got an interview
at McDonald's in five minutes.
Could... could you
carry me there?"
Y'know, I always...
Go ahead.
This is something
we didn't talk about...
Is the kind of guitar
you wanna play.
Like, what kind of
music are you drawn to?
I always liked those women.
That played the guitar and sang,
you know, like Joni Mitchell
and people like that.
Well, this is a Joni
Mitchell-style strum, here.
♪
Just try that,
just for starters.
How are you doing that?
Like this.
Should I be holding my
fingers up on this part?
Yep.
Try it.
Let's start with
something simpler.
Yeah.
My fingers are
hurting from that.
♪ she'll be comin' round
the mountain when she comes ♪
♪ she'll be comin'...
No, don't try to play yet.
Just watch what I'm doing.
♪ she'll be comin' around
the mountain when she comes ♪
now go
"toot-toot!"
Just try that.
Toot-toot!
No, "choot-choot!"
"Choot-choot!"
♪ she'll be comin' around
the mountain when she comes ♪
choot-choot!
♪ she'll be comin' around
the mountain ♪
♪ she'll be comin'
around the mountains... ♪
and this is the way the
jazzy guys would do it.
♪ she'll be comin' around
the mountains when she... ♪
♪ when she comes around them ♪
♪ yeah yeah yeah
♪ she'll come around
the mountains ♪
you know what you need?
Is you need to get your
endorphins going.
You know what I'm saying?
And once the endorphins
get going,
you get more of the serotonin.
Stanley, are you forgetting
that when you make stuff up.
That I know what you're doing?
No, I'm not making this up.
You're telling me you don't
know about endorphins.
Leading to increased serotonin?
Sarah tonin went to school
with my sister.
No, wait, no,
this is true, this is true.
You get your heart
level up above,
I don't know, 90 or 95 for you,
endorphins start pumping out,
serotonin will
drip right off you.
You know what I'm saying?
Sounds messy.
It's messy.
Then you take a nice shower,
you get into the locker room,
take a nice shower,
and then you're out of there.
You know what I would be
inclined to do,
is to take a shower when I
get home, just in terms of...
Oh, the sweat'll dry on you.
You don't want that.
Yeah, but you know what?
I feel weird taking a shower
in a room full of strange men.
Why?
Well, what if they
make fun of my body?
Why would they do that?
There's nothing
wrong with your body.
Thank you.
Not a lot.
I mean, if they do, look...
I'll tell them that you
were in an accident.
Tell 'em I was in some
kind of frailty competition.
Hm.
Mr. Frail.
The frailty Olympics?
Yeah, say something like that,
just so that they think that
I was going for this look.
I don't think
they're gonna buy that,
but the accident they'll go for.
Tell them I'm a marathon runner,
except for my belly.
Hm.
Anyway, last week, my father
went to the doctor's,
and he got a report back.
That he has a
congenital heart defect.
Really?
You know, I'm concerned
about him,
but the real problem is
that I probably have it.
Because it's congenital.
Right, I'll explain
that to you later.
Right.
What congenital means.
So what's the bad news?
Well, the thing is, is that
there's a good chance...
And I'm not
being overdramatic...
There's a good chance that
I will die at some point,
so because of that,
I'm thinking I'd better live
life to the fullest.
Yeah.
Before the heart goes.
Right.
So I thought that maybe
you could think about.
Next Thursday night,
if that's good for you.
I can get tickets to,
uh, to nunsense,
because I really wanna
see that before I die.
They're nuns and they sing,
and there's a lot of improv.
Oh, yeah, I met
this Irish guy...
He was a lot older than me,
and he was always telling me
stories, proverbs, you know,
to prove that he
was brilliant, I guess,
and I'd start to complain
about my life,
and he'd say, "och, Laura."
"You always complain
about how bad your life is.
"Why don't you change it?
You know, you're the author
of your own fate."
I thought, "god, he's right."
I am the otter of
my own fat."
Mm.
Yeah, you know,
I could go at any time.
I could go now,
I could go tomorrow,
or I could go, y'know,
You never know.
Well, I guess I'll just
have to take my chances.
Ah, what does that mean?!
♪ she'll be comin' around
the mountain ♪
♪ she'll be comin' around
the mountain when she comes ♪
choot-choot!
Now, let's stop here today,
and I'll tell you why...
Because so much
of playing the guitar.
Is just being around people
who play it well.
You know what I'm saying?
No.
Like, watch this.
♪
You know how long...
It looks simple, right?
Yeah.
You know how long it took me
to learn how to do that?
No.
Four years.
I did that instead
of graduate school.
See, I always just...
I like the way people's
fingers just...
Move, you know, like that?
See, that comes
with work.
It's so hard.
You have to develop
the strength in your left hand,
the coordination of
the right hand,
and oddly enough, a lot of it
comes from the buttocks.
This is the best-kept
secret of contemporary music.
Stop!
And this is something
I learned in college.
I had a vocal coach who told me.
That in order to produce
a sound from the diaphragm,
you should practice by
putting a quarter.
Between the cheeks of your
buttocks and holding it there.
Come on!
And this guy would
make change, Julie.
You hear what I'm saying to you?
Yes.
I wrote a song about you
last night, Julie,
in anticipation of your arrival.
You did?
Yep.
Hm, let's hear it.
♪ Julie... ♪
that's all I got so far.
Doctor, could I just
ramble for a minute?
Absolutely.
Do you always have to
control the session?
Do you feel like that's
what I'm doing here?
Dr. make-me-feel-small.
I'm not trying to
diminish you in any way.
Dr. hottest-thing-on-skates.
No, that's not true.
Dr. Dave-attell-let's-have-
a-laugh-with-him-
like-they-did-
in-high-school-
in-junior-high-school-
and-then-
junior-high-school-again.
Dave, would you
calm down, please?
Dr. I-know-it-all-
'cause-i-can-read.
I...
First of all,
I was in the footlocker.
No, I was not trying to
get a job there,
'cause I remember
what you said last time.
They can't hire me.
The state will not
permit them to do that.
Right.
I was just...
What is it?
Browsing around,
and I see all these
little tiny shoes.
They're baby shoes.
And now they've
got baby work boots.
Did you know that?
Work boots for babies.
And I'm thinking,
"doctor... ".
No, wait.
I'm thinking, "I've never seen
a baby on a construction site."
"I might be a gentle giant,
"I might be an
eight-foot man.
"With the brain
of a two-year-old,
♪
but baby shoe, right,
baby boot, wrong."
I'm sorry... you know
what the music means.
- Good.
- Nine!
Okay, keep breathing.
Jonathan?
Ten.
Good, oh, good.
Great.
Oh, man, that is...
Good job!
I tell you,
I'm feeling it already.
I feel the difference.
Yeah?
Give me a sh*t in the stomach.
Give me your best sh*t.
Come on.
No, no.
I can take it, just do it,
just hit me with your best...
You don't want me to do that.
Yes.
You really want me?
Just give me... yeah.
All right, okay.
Just tell Laura to call 911.
Jonathan, are you all right?
I'll k*ll you.
I will k*ll you.
01x04 - Cholesterol
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A therapist struggles with problems of his patients, while dealing with the ones in his personal life.
A therapist struggles with problems of his patients, while dealing with the ones in his personal life.