Transcripts - Forever Dreaming

[gentle music playing]

[J.Lo] I've been married four times now.

I'm sure people watching from

the outside were like,

"What is this f*cking girl's problem?"

You saw kind of a compulsive behavior.

What I portrayed to the world was,

oh, this didn't work out.

And it's fine, and I'm good,

and they're good, and they were great,

and I was great.

And all of that was kind of bullshit.

[pop music plays]

I'm still, I'm still

[man] We are rolling ladies.

Everybody looking this way.

Okay, camera's speeding.

I'm still

[man] And camera, action.

I'm still, I'm still

[man] Guys, quietly please,

quietly please. We are rolling.

I'm still

I'm still, I'm still

[man] No, I liked where you were.

- Let's go.

- [man] Yeah, let's roll.

[pop music continues]

[wedding guests screaming]

[crew member] Cutting, cut-cut!

[host] Pop superstar, Jennifer Lopez,

has new music on the way.

J.Lo celebrated

the 20th anniversary of her hit album,

This is Me Then, by announcing a new

project called This Is Me Now,

a soon to be released record

will chronicle Lopez's life journey

across the last 20 years

with new songs about her childhood,

as well as her history

of unsuccessful relationships.

All my cards laid out

[J.Lo] I have decided to tell my story,

or tell my truth,

that I've never shared

with anybody in the world.

[music flourishes]

Which is the truth about my personal life.

I'm goin' all in right now

20 years ago,

I fell in love with the love of my life.

[crowd clamoring]

And during that time I was making

an album called This Is Me Then.

Don't be fooled

By the rocks that I got

I'm still, I'm still Jenny

From the block

[J.Lo] I hadn't made an album since then.

18 years later, we got back together,

and I was very inspired.

I was talking and Benny Medina,

my longtime manager,

and one of my best friends, said it is

time for you to make music again.

She started telling me, you know,

I haven't made an album in a long time,

but I really finally have something

that I want to write about.

And I don't know if anyone else

has a story like that in the world.

[man] And when you get that

from a true artist like her,

it allows you to really

be able to channel it.

Like, what do we want that to sound like?

She spoke very openly to us

and it was really

It was beautiful, man.

It was that first day was magical.

When we got back together

I'm telling my story.

This is what it's like

On that first day

I showed everybody this book.

This book is a book that Ben gave me

on our first Christmas back together.

It is every letter and every email that we

wrote to each other from 20 years ago.

And today,

The Greatest Love Story Never Told

by Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck

2001 and 2021 and counting.

It became like our Bible,

and we just left it there in the studio,

and people would thumb through it.

They're like, "Can we look at it?"

I was like, "Look at it!"

It's like when you open the book,

it's like a light just come from, like

Ahh!

She would pick one and she would

let us touch them and read them.

They're real letters

with like pen on paper.

And I was,

"Girl, I'm gonna f*ck this up."

I'm like, move all the liquids away,

you know?

[man] She showed us the box

that Ben had given to her

which included all the letters.

First off, who does that?

Like, this guy gets Boyfriend of the Year

as far as I'm concerned.

[Affleck] I came to the house one day,

and there was like, she had told me,

"The musicians are coming,

this great producer, Rogt,"

blah-blah-blah.

And then I went down there and my book

that I had given her was down there.

She was like, "I've been reading

and the people

This is the kind of inspiration

I've been showing them the book."

I was like,

"You've been showing all the musicians

all those letters that, uh"

And they were like,

"Yeah, we call you Pen Affleck,"

and I was like "Oh, my God."

I did really find the beauty,

and the poetry, and the irony,

in the fact that it's

the greatest love story never told,

and if you're making a record about it

- [all snapping]

- [laughs]

that seems kind of like telling it.

[J.Lo] Once the music was done,

I felt it was so beautiful and special,

and I wanted to share it

with the world in the biggest way.

And I don't want to

just put out the single

and put out the music video

and see what happens.

No, I had this idea.

What I've decided to do

We're going to make a film.

I want to make a movie.

This is really about bringing the album

to life in a different way.

Prince did it with Purple Rain.

He just wrote the story of his life.

But made just a movie

where he played his songs.

This is me taking my songs

and making my own musical.

And so I came up with this idea

with Dave Myers,

who I worked with

making music videos 20 years ago.

What is Dave doing right now?

Then when you put

a visually genius director on things,

they really bring it to life in a way

that is even more than you imagined.

It really allows you to be

as creative as you want to be.

[hip-hop beat playing]

I've tracked her for 20 years,

we worked together 20 years ago,

so like, I've paid attention

to her journey.

Hadn't seen her

but had formulated thoughts.

I wonder what she's going through,

and I show up to her house,

and she tells me

what happened the last 20 years.

And I'm like,

"Oh, my God, that's our story."

She shared a lot of details

and we did a lot of co-writing together.

It's an abstract biography, you know?

It's taking the emotion

of what she's gone through

and kind of playing with that,

not necessarily

being literal to this relationship

or that relationship.

We sort of reverse engineered it.

There was already an album,

and then we kind of rearranged the songs

to try to match the narrative

that we're telling.

It's not anything that's been done before.

It's not quite a long form music video,

and it's not quite a movie.

It's somewhere in between.

How we pulled that off

will be a new thing,

a new version

of what you do with an album.

[Meyers] I tried to string all the songs

that she shared with me

into a truth that she shared with me.

She connected with it, and we just

rolled up our sleeves from there.

And that leads into the first song,

which is "Hearts and Flowers".

I don't know if you remember it,

it's a very hard beat.

It's like boom,

dun, dun, dun, dun, boom.

And you see everybody

working in the factories.

It will be all of these characters

- Mm-hm.

- who are trying to fix something,

and you don't really know what it is,

but it's a mechanical heart.

[Meyers] The heart factory

is the abstract version

of what might go on inside

when everything starts to fail.

In my head, everybody working.

[Meyers] There is a factory

with workers feeding it rose petals.

It's just part of a storytelling device

to set up that love needs an ingredient.

Just starts off

Wounded soldier

Wounded soldier

First day!

Here we go

Diamonds from pressure

Time is precious

[J.Lo] And the whole album

is kind of like the twin album

to This is Me Then,

which I did 20 years ago.

- I'd keep their apartment the same.

- Oh, keep it, all of it.

Put it on my back

'Cause I'm built for the mile

Opening her eyes in a hospital bed,

younger, age 28,

and she wasn't emaciated but exhausted.

Technically, you weren't 28, but

Yep. All her friends are

But you were.

You were.

That's why you were not as smart as me.

I'm still, I'm still

I'm still

I love that you want to play younger,

even in the autobiographical.

This is not my autobiographical.

This is meta.

- This is me using some of my story.

- I see.

Semi-autobiographical.

It's your story but younger.

[laughing]

You're an idiot.

Hearts and flowers

It ain't all hearts and flowers

So many nights and hours

But she's still got her beauty, her booty,

and her bank account so bye-boy to him.

Papi, this isn't about me and you!

Papi, take that out.

- No, this is

- That is not part of the script!

I'm still, I'm still

[Goldsmith-Thomas]

I was her agent in the '90s.

We became very close friends very quickly.

[J.Lo] We hit it off right away.

I mean, she was funny and powerful.

She reminded me of the women

that I grew up with.

I just knew that

I wanted to work with her.

[Goldsmith-Thomas]

I chased Jennifer to sign her.

I knew how talented she was.

[J.Lo] We've been together now

for 20-something years.

[laughing]

[Goldsmith-Thomas] We're like family.

We're like sisters. Right?

[J.Lo] Exactly like sisters.

On this project,

I've been asked to just sort of oversee.

If she needs me

I'm there to bounce an idea.

I'm working on script with her

when she wants me to.

Hey, you know what?

This was good stuff you did today.

- Oh, good.

- Yeah, this was good stuff. What?

Don't Don't panic.

I'm not, because I know it's there.

You're just being dramatic.

I'm going to go inside.

When you have it, send it to me,

and send it to Ben so he can read it.

Okay. So, I don't necessarily

No worries. I found it.

I sometimes think of Benny and I

as these two pillars beside her.

So if she wobbles, we go, oh. [chuckles]

But, conversely,

if we wobble, she goes, oh.

It's a good trio.

Whatcha tryin' to do?

- Take your chips.

- You're on a diet.

- Do you want one?

- No, I don't eat that kind of food.

[laughing]

[J.Lo] Benny Medina,

he's more than just my manager.

If there's one person

who believed in me from the beginning,

from the first time I played him

a raggedy little demo

And it was just her voice live,

in her room at that time,

and she completely blew me away.

And I've never lost that feeling

for that song or for how she puts it down.

[Affleck] So Jen's making this movie

based on her album, starts rehearsing,

casting, has a deal

basically set to go to finance it.

[Medina] We had a deal on paper.

We had started production.

Then I got a call.

Deal's off. Pulled it.

He said that they were blown away by you,

you know, the dynamic in the room,

thought there was just too much

that was being bitten off.

The quality was gonna be

potentially compromised, you know?

I've never been involved

with any major studio,

small independent production company,

anything that has given me a

a deal on paper.

Here, we will give you this for this.

A $30 million deal

and then taking it off the table.

[Medina] Every streamer

said musical movies don't sell.

Beyonc didn't sell, Rihanna didn't sell.

There was no appetite for a musical film

based on an album, no matter

what the story, no matter what the star.

When they run their numbers

on music projects, you know,

the numbers are not as great.

Whatever, I get it.

[Medina] We had just had

number one at Amazon,

and the biggest at Netflix, and

but not one that had music.

Then I was like,

"Oh, shit, who's paying for this?"

I guess me.

Drop the f*cking mic.

You're not paying for your own movie.

[Goldsmith-Thomas]

She decided in a very bullish way

to finance this project.

[Affleck] Making a movie

with your own money

is the most famous

cardinal sin in Hollywood.

[Goldsmith-Thomas] It was about

investing in yourself. Literally.

[soulful music playing]

[Meyers] You know,

dance has been a huge part of her life,

but my videos with her

have been like, you know,

"Okay, roll camera.

All right, dance, Jen!" You know?

But now we actually

conceived a story together.

So her dance serves the story.

And, you know, just

it's a beautiful process of watching it

sort of all blossom out

and becoming something.

- Right? That goes there?

- Yeah.

["Under Pressure"

by Queen ft. David Bowie]

[woman] Shall we start on

our favorite subject? The budget.

Boy, uh, yeah.

Production, casting, locations,

the whole machinery was moving.

I'm projecting that we're going to be

going into production over budget.

So we're all open to cuts?

Budget cuts, you mean?

- Scene cut lead to budget cuts.

- No. No, that's not an option.

I'm depending on all of you

to do what you do

so we can get this done

within the budget that I gave you.

The message is save as much

f*cking money as we can.

Yes. It sounds like you guys still

have work to do in that department.

There was no buyer out there to sell it.

We had nothing to show,

and we're burning cash every day.

["Under Pressure" continues]

There's one ceremony, three receptions.

You don't have to have three different

a beach, a desert, a this.

It's less about the location.

It's more about hitting the theme.

Under pressure

That brings a building down

Splits a family in two

Puts people on streets

Fifty-five grand, $300,000, $470,000.

Next week, it'll be something else like,

"Oh, shit, the conveyor belt

turned out to

you know, need an extra wrench."

["Under Pressure" continues]

[J.Lo] I'm gonna tell you right now,

do not bother me while we're sh**ting.

Don't do it. It's gonna be a bad idea.

I'm going to have so much

to concentrate on.

How muddy is the mud going to be?

However we want it to be, right?

Dares you to change our way of caring

Let me tell you,

the price of mud is finna go up.

This is our last dance

This is our last dance

This is ourselves

Under pressure

Under pressure

- Do you think I look fat?

- Too skinny.

[J.Lo] Today, I'm gonna to take

a break from dancing.

I was going to dance all day today,

but I danced all day yesterday,

so I'm gonna dance tomorrow.

I'm really kind of like,

look at everybody

and really kind of just like,

are we crafting this

in the way we need to?

[hip-hop music playing]

I like it because it's like everybody's

moving in unison and it's nice,

but then the moves towards the end,

if you're going to double it,

it should just feel like it's all like,

as we lead the heart, there's this like,

it's working in perfect harmony.

- Boom.

- Right?

Can you run that one more time, please?

[Brown scatting]

Then we can go into that

Let's go into that.

Know what I'm sayin'?

I don't know what that is but it's, uh

[scatting]

Then we could

Anthony Ramos was gonna do this.

The guy from In the Heights.

He was going to do the "Rebound" number

with me. "The Glass House."

And he was like,

"Ah, I'm friends with Marc."

So, I didn't First of all, I didn't know

that you and Marc were like good friends.

I didn't know that.

Well, that's that's nice.

You know,

he's the father of my kids, obviously.

Um, I'm never going to do anything

that's going to really,

like, pinpoint him out.

But it is very meta.

It is about kind of the 20-year journey

between that last album and this album.

And a lot of things happened,

and there was a lot

of relationships that I was in.

That thing that you're playing in it,

is representative of many relationships,

you know, not one specific relationship.

I'm not even playing me in this.

There's a protagonist,

this woman, that goes on this journey.

He's like, "Yeah, I think that people are

gonna think that You know how media is."

I said, "But if we only did our art

thinking about what

the media's going to say"

- It wouldn't be art.

- "What the f*ck are we doing?"

Right.

I've known Jennifer since 1999

and the capacity

that I work with Jennifer, it's

wardrobe supervisor, wrangler.

Which glasses you like, Beezy?

These or these?

- [Beezy] That's the one I love.

- [man] The yellow.

[Beezy] She is one of my best friends,

my sister, my warrior, my ride or die.

It takes courage to share your truths.

Jennifer is finally in

a very solid place in her life

where she's able to do those things.

[trepidatious music]

[woman] We sent out all the offers

last night to everybody.

And we're waiting to hear back

on a few people, um

- Like Jane Fonda.

- [Diener] Taylor Swift is a no.

Jason Momoa is not available.

Jennifer Coolidge, not available.

Lizzo, not available.

He's doing Succession, too,

and The Lion King

and Star Wars: Andor, too.

So he's not necessarily

He's not available, but he loves you.

- You want Vanessa Hudgens, by the way?

- [J.Lo] For what?

- One of the friends. Oh, never mind.

- [Diener] She's not available.

It'd be good to get Bad Bunny

to do a little cameo as the bad kid.

Oh, The Wrong Again?

That would be good.

Question becomes if Trevor is there,

do we want James Corden, too, or is?

- Okay. Right.

- [Baxter] Ariana Grande is unavailable.

She's in London until September.

Snoop's not available, unfortunately.

[J.Lo] I don't want to force anybody

to do this who doesn't go,

"This is going to be fun." Nobody wants to

say no to me, Benny. I get that.

But when an actor doesn't like a script,

or doesn't think it's good enough,

or is worried about it,

that's what they'll say.

I know that. I've done it.

I mean, I know Val was available,

but I want you to call Derek.

And we need him for like one or two days.

It's a wedding, babe,

he's in a wedding, it's not a

It's a wedding.

He's not going to give up this wedding.

- I mean, I could talk to Benny.

- Who's wedding?

It's a wedding he's in.

He can't it's-it's

Unfortunately, it's where it's landing.

- I want you to call him.

- [Goldsmith-Thomas] Okay.

Who's going to be Khloe Kardashian?

- She's making a cameo?

- [J.Lo] No.

Oh. It was supposed to be? Gotcha.

People scared.

- [Lalau] Yeah.

- Scared to put themselves out there.

I get it. It took me a long time.

- I'm scared.

- [Lalau] Yeah.

You don't look like it,

though, for sure but

I don't act like I'm scared but

that's the secret

to my whole f*cking career.

One and two, three, four,

five, six, seven, eight.

And then it's five

[J.Lo] And then there's the personal story

of Ben and I that has never been told.

I don't think he's very comfortable

with me doing all of this.

But he loves me, he knows I'm an artist,

and he's going to support me

in every way he can,

because he knows this is

He can't stop me from making

the music I made,

and writing the words that I wrote.

He can't

you know, that's going to happen,

and he doesn't want to stop me.

He wants to do that.

But that doesn't mean he's, you know,

kind of comfortable being the muse

Jen was really inspired

by this experience,

which is how artists do their work.

They get inspired,

their personal life, it moves you.

I know as a writer and director,

like I certainly do the same things.

But things that are private,

I'd always felt are sacred and special,

because, in part, they're private.

So this was something

of an adjustment for me.

[J.Lo] We're totally different people now

and we're the same,

and we have the same love. 100%.

Like, I'd never fallen out of love

with you. I had just put it over here.

It seems like it's like liberating

in a sense, because

- [J.Lo] It is.

- He loves every part of you,

- but it's not dependent on

- How I look.

- what this album is, or what radio

- No.

- Anything, it's like he

- No, it's not.

You always say, he always wants to

see you in the bun, you know?

- Yeah.

- [Baxter] No makeup on.

[laughing]

[sputters] You're used to seeing me

around the house, kind of schlepy,

- and kind of, you know, in sweat pants

- [Affleck] No, that's not

- and my striped socks

- [Affleck] No, stop it. We're not

going for the "I'm not pretty"

and all this bullshit.

I'm not saying I'm not pretty.

I'm saying you're used to seeing me

kind of like the little old lady at home.

[Affleck] You're gorgeous,

and that's what I'm used to.

- What I'm saying is

- And then when I get up

and start dancing, you're like,

"Oh, right, I forgot she could dance."

What he said and what he saw in me,

and what he made me believe about myself,

only comes from love.

[gentle music playing]

Because nobody else

could have made me see that

about myself.

It's very moving.

[sniffles]

Because I didn't think much of myself,

and so the world didn't think much of me.

That lined up.

[gentle music continues]

This is how it is.

See it. Believe it.

I was like, okay.

[Medina] This is regarding Jane,

she called me

and goes, "I believe

that everyone in the entire world

is pulling for this relationship

and this love.

And the idea of how you present that

is so sacrosanct, is so important,

that it should be handled in a way

that you aren't overly flaunting it,

so much so, that it creates

any form of criticism or resentment.

My biggest concern is that if, you know,

what critics or people

sort of come at her in any way."

- I don't

- I don't expect anybody to get this.

Okay. I don't.

What she's afraid about

is what the album is.

And that's not changing.

That's done.

And I don't I'm not

I'm an artist,

and that's the album I wrote,

and I love it, and I'll stand by it.

I wasn't sure if I wanted her

to reveal all of this.

I wasn't sure it was necessary.

So I was afraid on this project,

and as I see it forming,

I'm excited,

and I'm still a little afraid.

Right now,

there's a little bit of trepidation

over the

some of the ambition of the project.

[J.Lo] I didn't have to do this.

I didn't even have to make the record.

It's not like anybody was clamoring

for the next J.Lo record.

[laughs] You know what I mean?

And I know that there's some people

around me who are like, this is stupid.

Why is she doing this?

She doesn't need to do this.

And they're right,

I don't need to do any of it.

I don't, but I want to.

[crew chattering]

- Have you seen this conveyor belt?

- No.

Lord, help us.

Jesus

[Baxter] When we're on top of them,

if somebody stands on it,

the conveyor belt stops.

Who's in charge of the stages

and the things?

We're supposed to

I'm supposed to dance on it.

They're saying when I get on there,

it's going to stop.

So, it won't move.

But we can't even rehearse with them now

'cause there's no power till next week.

So why are we here?

[Baxter] Hey, can Nathan and Dave

- How are you?

- please come down as well?

- Hi.

- [Baxter] Um, so what's going on?

This is the first, right now,

when everybody walked in here

that we're hearing, that one,

they can't move when she's on top of it,

and also that they weren't

going to work today.

[sputtering]

I'm just reacting

to this information right now.

- [J.Lo] Yeah.

- [Diener] I wanna go and fix it.

- So if I can have like, five or

- [J.Lo] Do that then.

- ten minutes. Yeah, okay.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Thank you.

[Baxter] As we walked in, they said,

"Oh, well, they're not going to turn on."

[Medina] It's really simple,

they didn't get it done.

But even if you

don't get it done, tell us,

- before we all walk in here.

- That's my point.

- What's up?

- [Diener] It's not gonna to work today.

- It's some f*cked up yep.

- Fantastic.

We're gonna get it working

so that you can rehearse before the day.

- Thank you, sorry.

- [J.Lo] That's okay.

Could, um, we show you some

umbrella options for "Hummingbird"?

- Uh, sure. I need to leave.

- Yep, they're right here.

Is this big enough?

That's okay.

- [man] No?

- No, I like the clear,

and I think I like the more rounded it is.

- [woman] There was more solid

- This is pulling, like,

- the whole entire belt.

- [woman] The whole thing, yeah.

So we have to just solve that problem.

What would be ideal,

would be like a dance studio floor

that has a little bit

of give underneath it.

[Baxter] Do you have 12 more seconds

to just feel the mud?

Jennifer, to feel the mud?

I've been waiting to show you mud.

[laughing]

I know, they're chasing me

to the car with it.

- Bye, guys!

- [all] Bye!

- [J.Lo] Yeah, that could be shorter.

- [Goldsmith-Thomas] Cute short one?

Not cute and short like a French maid.

Like, like a doctor.

I would go red. I would look at it

on the jumpsuits, not on you guys.

- Of course,

- Before I really made the final decision.

I think this is a good option,

but I would like to see one

that's more wet.

- Bye-bye, everybody.

- [woman] Okay.

[man] Thank you, Jennifer,

have a good night.

- [woman] Thank you. Good night, Jen.

- [J.Lo] Goodnight.

Yeah, I feel like, um,

there's a lot to do this weekend.

I feel like if we don't

get those scenes right tomorrow

[Medina] Yeah.

Okay?

I think they should just have

the capacity with that drier mud

- to add water if we need.

- [Medina] Okay.

Bring those muds, please, one more time.

- [J.Lo] No, I gotta go.

- One more quick one.

I just want to see which one

you're referencing. Quick!

[engine starts]

[Medina] One sec, this one or this one?

- [woman] She said "Drive."

- [man] She said "Go away.'

- [man 2] That's the wet one.

- [Medina] She wants this one.

[Medina] She likes this this.

She likes this flavor, a little wetter.

- [woman] The chunky one

- Not the wet one, the crumblier one.

- [man 2] Do you know what

- Keep it crumblier and add some water

on top of it so you get a little splatter.

- [man 2] Exactly, yeah. Okay.

- Not a second wasted of today. Good work.

[slow instrumental music]

[J.Lo] So, last night, Ben says to me,

"Why are you so stressed lately?"

I said, "I'm not just financing it,

I'm writing it, I'm choreographing it,

dancing in it, singing in it,

- staring in it, producing the record."

- [Goldsmith-Thomas] Producing it.

Like I said, it's all [sputters]

Everybody has all these financier

questions and budget questions for me.

[muttering]

[Goldsmith-Thomas] All right,

I'll call you later. I love you.

- I love you. Bye.

- Bye.

[Medina] You know,

I don't like coming into any room

and and seeing things not working well.

They've just come off of two insanely

well-produced, well-organized films,

and she won't look at anything

as being any different.

If anything, she'll look at it

as even needing to be better than those,

in terms of the execution of stuff,

because it's every penny of her money

- Yep.

- and all of her own time,

talent and story

that's going into this thing,

and it's got to flow because otherwise

any kind of stop-start-stop,

I can see it when it takes her out,

and she's got to be 100% in.

Yeah, she's got a few

tough weeks ahead of her.

I'm I don't want to say I'm worried,

but, I think that our schedule

is aggressive.

Okay, so going I know this is

so stupid, or maybe it's not,

but like going back to the seat backs.

Do you know, we didn't make them

just because normally

you don't on a music video,

not that this is a real music

Please stop calling

or even referencing music videos, guys.

This is not a music video.

It's not going to function

like a music video,

it's not going to operate

like a music video,

and it's fine that you

don't have seat backs.

[Meyers] She's so determined

to pull this off.

The people that really swing are always in

a vulnerable place and it's terrifying.

Those points in your career

where you either

choose to bet on yourself or you don't.

Do I want to assume more of a risk,

or do I want to assume less of a risk?

And if you really truly

believe in yourself,

and you really truly believe

in what you're doing.

It's almost always

better to bet on yourself.

[J.Lo] I have to tell the story

the way it needs to be told.

It's just something inside of me

that just goes,

"This is all I know how to do."

I just want people

to believe that love exists.

If I can use my story to do that,

then as an artist,

that's what I should do.

Maybe I'm setting myself up

to be f*cking

[sighs]

criticized again, I don't know,

but that's what my heart's

telling me to do.

[somber orchestra music]

Uh, no. No, no, like right here.

Yeah, a little higher.

- There's J.Lo.

- There she is.

J.Lo was created back then

with those first three albums.

This Is Me Then,

"Jenny From The Block", and all that.

In a way, she's kind of

a larger-than-life character.

It was really me becoming

who I always dreamt of being.

[Meyers] Yep, she's coming

[J.Lo] This Is Me Now is about truth

and facing the truth of who

you really are and embracing that.

And the truth is,

I'm not the same as I was 20 years ago.

I was always

very much about show business,

put your best foot forward.

Don't let them see when you're suffering.

Don't let them see when you're hurt.

Don't worry about

if somebody did this or did that,

or if you suffered this or suffered that,

it doesn't matter.

They don't care. They want you to sing.

They want you to dance.

They want you to do the movie,

want you to be funny in the interview.

Like, that's what my life was.

But then I realized that I wasn't

being kind of authentic to myself.

There was a part of me

that I was hiding.

There was a part of me

that I was ashamed of.

And the things that I went through

in my personal life,

'cause I think that they would have

thought that that was weak or

damaged or dysfunctional,

and I didn't ever want to seem that way.

I wanted to seem strong

and powerful and able.

- [man 1] Roll cameras, please.

- [man 2] All right, room rolling.

[J.Lo] I wasn't struggling

in my professional life.

Like, I feel like I had control of that.

And that's why I put a lot into it.

When I went home at night,

and when I was dealing in my own life,

with my own demons,

and my own relationships,

was such a f*cking struggle.

Couldn't we both win?

When her and Ben first broke up,

it was catastrophic to her constitution.

Everything that she wanted from

from what she understood love to be,

for that to not work, for the pressures

to break it apart, it just spun her out.

[J.Lo] Ben and I, we broke up

three days before our wedding,

and we had like a big wedding plan,

like 14 ushers and bridesmaids,

and three days before,

we just crumbled under the pressure.

I think we all go along thinking like,

"I'm doing okay."

I've been through these things."

You kind of shake If you're like me,

you kinda shake it off and be like,

put your best foot forward,

and just do your thing,

and f*cking conquer the world.

Right? It motivates us

through all these different things

but at the end of the day

[voice fades out]

I had a broken heart once.

[gentle music playing]

Long time ago.

All my friends, they told me,

you know, that I needed a break.

That I should spend some time alone.

I didn't.

For all those years, was really hard,

'cause I didn't just feel like

I lost the love of my life.

I felt like I lost,

like, the best friend that I ever had

and I couldn't talk to for so many years.

And that was the hardest part.

You know, I used to think that,

um, it was

everybody else that was broken.

[gentle music continues]

Now I think maybe it was just me.

I loved you so much

That messed me up

Gave what I could

But it wasn't enough

You drifted away

Left me so numb

Tears on my gown

Look what you've done

Broken like me

Broken like me

Covered in scars

Now this is me

[Affleck] So when I first read the script,

it looked like the inciting incident

that causes all this pain

down the road is our breakup.

I thought, "Wow, nobody did

anything wrong. It was mutual."

I think for us to move on from that,

we have to kind of forgive it,

forgive each other. Do you forgive me?

[Meyers] Someone might need to

[woman] Where's that g*dd*mn

Jennifer Lopez?

She better be here,

or I'm gonna k*ll her. Is she here?

I would have sliced that b*tch

if she weren't here.

Calling me down here to do a cameo, b*tch.

- Whitney.

- [Meyers] Hey.

- [Meyers] Hey, Jenifer.

- I'm the star.

- [Meyers] Yes, you are.

- I'm gonna come down and do a cameo.

[Meyers] I'm Dave the director,

nice to meet you.

Oh, well, hell, you're in so much trouble.

- [Meyers] I am.

- I hope you're ready.

- Hi, boo.

- It's so good to see you!

[Lewis] My agent called me,

"Jennifer Lopez is doing a music video."

I said "Okay, what does that have to do

with me? I don't do music videos.

I'm Jenifer Lewis.

Got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

Why would I show up for a music video,

even if it is J.Lo?"

I'm J.Lew.

["The Sign" by Ace of Base playing]

In my own search for love

I tried a lot of different things.

I went to card readers

and looked to the signs,

you know, like, who's my perfect match?

And it led me down

a lot of questionable roads.

[man] So when I got this call, yeah,

it was a little weird.

You know, the Zodiac come to life.

[song continues]

- And the Zodiac is, you know

- Here we go.

People really think the universe

gives a shit about them, okay.

I got a new life

You would hardly recognize me

I'm playing Gemini.

You know, that split b*tch?

- She's still searching.

- Mm-hm.

I'm not into the Zodiac signs,

so I don't know what the f*ck they do.

[J.Lo] The Zodiacs represent the Greek

course of your life: your family,

your friends, coworkers, the people

who are watching you and commenting.

And in my case, the media, fans,

sometimes feels like the whole world.

- [Meyers] Do you know what you're doing?

- Yes, I think so. For the most part.

For the most part, yes, ma'am.

[J.Lo] You have done movies, right?

Yes, ma'am.

I'm basically a pretty famous actor.

I saw the sign

And it opened up my eyes, I saw the sign

Life is demanding

Without understanding

Down there is the universe.

[song continues]

- Whoo!

- Damn!

And Paul says, "f*cking fairy tales, man,

I love happy endings."

And because he's so there's, like,

the double entendre of happy endings.

Right. Well, what do you

mean by that, actually?

[J.Lo] Okay.

Shit, what happened? She fall apart again?

No, no, no happy endings

means "happy endings."

- Oh, happy endings.

- Yes! Okay.

[man] What's wrong with you

is on the inside.

[woman] Well, at least she got her

beauty, her booty, and that bank account

so bye-boy to him, right?

[J.Lo] Okay. This this is you, the lover.

[woman] Lover.

- This is Anna over here. [laughing]

- No. Why, why, why?

This is Elaine.

Elaine is the quiet one in my universe.

She doesn't talk.

Oh, and this.

I never leave the couch

without my love detector.

It has three settings: one, nightstand.

Holiday season.

[Meyers] No, it's not one

one-night stand is all one word.

[man speaking Spanish]

- Yeah. f*cking English. I hate it.

- [crew laughing]

Okay, one-night stand. Yeah.

Like a one-f*ck night.

[man] Yeah, exactly.

[laughter]

[laughing and chatting]

[J.Lo] No, that part was so funny,

I couldn't take it!

- What are you guys doing here?

- It's an intervention.

[man]

Oh, my bad, sorry about that.

It's all right.

I got a license, don't worry.

[laughing]

[Affleck] She'd be hurt.

Yes, that's great.

[man] Yeah?

- [crew member] Here we go.

- Hold on, Jen's Jen's, uh

How you doin', papa?

It's a pleasure to meet you, man.

My brother loves the crap out of you.

You're his favorite Batman ever,

and you made Armageddon, dude.

- Aw, thank you.

- You really did. I still sing the

All my bags are packed

I'm ready to go

Man. Pleasure to meet you guys.

That was really, really funny,

I loved that

When are you when are you guys

doing another film together?

That last one was Gigli, right? Or

- Yes.

- [Affleck] That's right. Exactly.

- [man] Yeah.

- It was Gigli.

That's why we haven't done one since then.

Okay, for sure.

[J.Lo] We're gonna do one one day.

Broken like me

I'm still in love with you, boy

I'm still in love

Uh there's a

There's an additional sh**t day

that's come up for The Guru.

How much is that going to cost us?

That, I that's should be discussed.

[Baxter] Couple hundred.

[Goldsmith-Thomas] I think to go 200,000

for a guru is nonsensical.

You guys can confer but

- Oh, why don't you stay?

- Don't worry about that.

- Don't even bring that up.

- This is haunting me now.

No, I'm, I'm

- But that's a $200,000 hit to her.

- [Baxter] Yes.

You should, please, not today.

Okay, if not today,

it'll haunt me tomorrow.

[Meyers] Yeah.

Don't let her ears hear this right now.

Well, it's only her

He's asking you to be quiet, sweetie,

take the cues.

- Maybe I shouldn't be the quiet friend.

- Shh.

Oh, ha! Touch.

You'll give people anxiety

when they're working.

Let me get a little Q-Tip.

[mouthing] It's my job.

Yeah. Well, yeah.

Maybe you wanna go talk to him over there

and talk about it.

[Goldsmith-Thomas] Well, I

I just want to resolve it, but okay.

- Dave.

- [Meyers] Yes?

We don't have 200,000 extra,

because we're gonna need 200,000 extra.

- Okay.

- We're going to need

- the extra money for post.

- Yeah. Okay.

I've been drilling down on budget,

reminding everyone it's her money,

and drilling down on the necessity

of certain things, sometimes too hard,

but, you know,

I'd rather err on the side of her,

um, saving a little money,

but not sacrificing any quality.

And, you know,

and I'm standing on the sidelines

in case she needs a body double.

I just wanna

I just feel like, ooh

Every time I see ya, I just, oh, hey

I feel like startin' somethin'

You got my engine runnin'

You got the keys to turn me on and on

[Meyers] We're in the wedding reception.

The energy in the room is

as if it was a real Jennifer wedding.

I think Jennifer is in full-on

bride mode right now, having a blast.

When it feels right

Nothing else matters

Is this real life

Too good to be true?

Take me all night

I can feel the push

[Meyers] Just going through

all the checklists of a great wedding.

Just swapping out the husbands.

[crew member] Cutting and cut.

[Meyers] That was it, yeah. Next husband.

You love that shit

You know I can't get enough

Give me all that shit

First thing that came to my mind was,

"I'm going to be what? I'm a huh?

I'm a what husband? I'm a who?"

[laughing] Like

But when we start working on it

and working through it, I was like,

"Oh, I see what's going on.

I see what's going on.

Like, you're in on it."

With you, boy

It's the way you love me

The way you touch me

It's the way you look at me

Can't get enough

[crowd cheering]

O f you, boy

Don't catch it.

It's cursed.

[crowd continues cheering]

[dramatic music playing]

[J.Lo] One time

I was married for 11 months.

Another time I was married for a year

And another time

I was married for ten years.

Then even looking back on it now,

and kind of making fun of it

in this surrealistic musical way

It's funny and it's heartbreaking.

[dramatic music continues]

What do I say?

Uh, "'Til death do us part" and it's like,

"Oh, I just wanna Ooh I"

Or, you know, that whole little intro.

You want me to do it like you just did it?

[Meyers laughs]

'Til death do us part.

[Meyers] Jen and I rationalized

that the rain is a sign.

She's like, "Oh, wow, It's a sign.

It's going to be a great marriage."

This sh**t's been relentless

just on how fast we're moving,

how fast it came together,

how sensitive costs are.

You know, being that

we don't really have studio support yet.

[chuckles]

[Medina]

This was absolutely the hardest project

that I've ever had to work on

and put together in my career.

This is a really different thing that

we're doing, and it's never been done

How am I going to sell this to a platform?

What is the platform?

[J.Lo] Every single one of them

passed on this movie.

One head of a studio says,

"Okay, um, well, you know what,

nobody watches these things."

Another one will say,

"Well, what are we going to do?

Pay them to promote their own album?

The album that we're stealing from them

and putting on our platform?"

["Money" by The Flying Lizards playing]

[J.Lo] Do you know what I see?

- I see my money going down the drain.

- [Affleck] Remember this.

I'm paying for this.

And this and all whatever the f*ck

that is up there.

- Those are gels.

- Paying for that, too. Paying for this.

["Money" continues playing]

Your love give me such a thrill

But your love don't pay my bills

That flag in the back is

was free I'm sure.

[Affleck] It all comes with the truck.

[J.Lo] Another truck.

- This is a camera truck.

- Tons of boxes.

- We have primes, ultra-primes.

- Oh, this is your fantasy truck.

This is a Zeiss compact zoom.

- This is a Arri zoom.

- Oh.

This is the older compact

Angeniuex zoom, right?

These are really good. The 70s, they're

light handheld lenses. Really good.

- I don't care.

- I know.

[indistinct chatter]

Oh, hello.

[laughing]

How are you? [chuckling]

Welcome!

This is where she is now by herself.

Middle of the night, watching TV,

4:00 in the morning,

watching an old romantic film

for the fourth time in a row.

Is that what you do?

I used to.

I used to, Sad, a long time ago.

[Sadghuru] We can say when you exude love

like the sun, it sh**t light

- It will find

- it will reflect and return to you.

You shall shine like the sun. [chuckles]

[laughing]

[man] All right, guys. Quietly, please.

We're going to get into this.

- So she looks kind of perfect.

- [man] Yeah.

- [J.Lo] And she shouldn't.

- [man] Okay.

[J.Lo] Just the idea of

that she's been neglected, right?

She's been a little bit roughed up,

that she's bearing the scars

and that looks like something dirty.

- [man] Yeah.

- [J.Lo] Knees scraped.

She should feel like

a little bit of a mess.

If you're going to be me

when you were little,

then I was a tomboy.

So I was real dirty all the time.

You know what a tomboy is?

- Someone who like

- [J.Lo] Loves to play with the boys.

Yeah.

This right here.

- Okay.

- Okay, ready?

What's wrong?

I just think

I didn't get enough love today.

- From your Mom and Dad?

- [girl] From you.

You left me all alone.

You didn't take care of me.

I'm sorry. I love you.

No, you love everybody else but me.

When I was growing up,

I was always looking for somebody

to make me feel loved.

I was a middle child,

not the baby, not the first born.

You just kind of get lost a little bit

in between it all.

That just left me on this train

to show everybody

that I had worth and value too.

So then I started running track,

and winning medals,

and hoping that somebody

would be like, "Look."

People would come over to our house.

Oh, look at all of Jennifer's

trophies and medals.

It made me feel good.

Having my two sisters

bookend me in that way

forced me into a road

where I learned to work really hard

and be very disciplined.

Like an athlete.

And so I just stuck with that.

I just stuck with the working hard part

'cause I was the best at that.

I felt very ignored by my dad

because he was always working nights,

and then all day he would sleep.

And I didn't feel like

I had enough of a connection with him.

My mom was a narcissist,

center of attention, you know,

life of the party type person.

I got very used to being around

people like that.

The combination of the two of those things

set me on a course

to be with those type of people.

What I started to realize

was I'm comfortable with this,

but I don't like this.

I want something different.

I want something better.

[Affleck] Jen felt

emotionally neglected as a child.

We are kind of learning more and more,

it doesn't have to be like sort of

the kind of trauma where you're,

you know, locked in a basement for a year

to leave wounds on you.

In fact, they're deceptive

when they're harder to pin down.

It's a hard thing to look at somebody

whose professional life

is wildly successful and who,

you know, on Instagram

looks like they're living

the happiest life in the world.

The thing you discover,

like you do with with alcohol,

is that there isn't enough alcohol

in all the liquor stores in the world

to fill up that thing.

And in Jennifer's case,

I don't think there's enough followers

or-or movies or records

or-or any of that stuff to

to still that part of you

that still feels a longing and a pain.

Ultimately, that's the work

that you've got to do on your own.

[somber music playing]

I like taking my hair out like this.

It reminds me

like when I was 16 in the Bronx,

running up and down the block.

That crazy little girl

who used to f*ckin'

be wild and

No limits.

All dreams and shit.

[man] It meant a lot to me

to have a young Latina

come from where we come from

and be successful.

["Feelin' So Good"

by Jennifer Lopez playing]

The whole first album

I was in almost every session.

A'ight, now I want you to dance

[Fat Joe] We used to be there almost

every night just watching 'em record

all these iconic records.

Party on tonight

Everything is feeling right, DJ

[Fat Joe] We grew up together.

We've been in the game 30 years,

been through ups and downs.

- Am I handsome or not?

- Joe, you the Don

Jenny, you the b*mb

Any man disrespect, good as gone

When I opened up my eyes today

Felt the sun shining on my face

[Fat Joe] You're looking at

a hopeless romantic.

And every time you rooted for her,

you always thought

all right, maybe this is the guy.

I feel like there's no limit

To what I can see

For people like me and Jenny,

we don't break, we from the Bronx,

we had to overcome so many obstacles.

We temporarily break down,

but they can't break people like us.

[laughing]

- How you doin', baby?

- How's it going?

- You feeling good?

- I'm feeling great.

You look amazing.

You know,

I look like a psychiatrist, you know.

[J.Lo] Yeah, I think that

It's a beautiful thing

to give my sister some sane advice.

[J.Lo] We're from the same place, that was

why I picked you to do this specific part.

Because it's like I would be talking

to you and you will understand me,

and I will understand you.

You know what I mean?

Definitely not a

He comes into the story at the right time

to speak some truth to her.

You know?

To shake her out of her nonsense.

- What am I doing wrong?

- [dog whimpers]

Why is love so damn hard?

[Fat Joe] You know, some people

use these impassioned relationships

to avoid facing a much greater hurt.

[J.Lo] You think

I'm covering something up,

or I'm using love

as some kind of pain medicine?

[Fat Joe] Have you ever considered

being alone for a minute?

[J.Lo] I used to be terrified to be alone.

I didn't know

what I was gonna do by myself.

Who's going to take care of me,

who's going to protect me?

This one therapist said to me,

"Can you be alone?"

And I was like, I can do it.

I [sputters]

I can be alone. I can be alone

I'll be alone till Christmas. Okay?

Erasing everybody from your phone

who could possibly be somebody

you even think likes you.

Block everybody, do every

and just be alone.

- Jane?

- [Jane Fonda] Hello.

- Jane?

- Is this Jennifer?

- It is, hi!

- Oh hi, sweetheart.

Oh, thanks for calling.

First of all, I want you to know that, uh

I don't entirely know why,

but I feel invested in you and Ben,

and I really, really,

really want this to work.

However, this is my concern.

Like, it feels too much like

you're trying to prove something

instead of just living it.

You know, every other photograph

is the two of you kissing,

the two of you hugging. Um

That's us living our life. [laughing]

Jane and I have

a kind of love relationship

over many years

since she did Monster-in-Law.

You know, it was her first movie back

after leaving the business

for many, many years.

And we just we really bonded.

[both laughing]

[Fonda] I didn't know what to expect,

what it was going to be like

working with her.

Oh, what I do to you. Oh.

When my son proposes to her

right next to me and I'm saying,

"Oh, how wonderful." But what I really

want to do is what I do in my fantasy,

is I want to take the back of her head

and shove her face into the table

Please

over and over it.

[J.Lo] Hold on, hold on! I'm laughing.

I'm laughing. I can't laugh.

I really looked up to her,

obviously, as an amazing actress,

but also for what she

stood for in her life.

There was so much about her,

in all her activism,

and also that she

kinda got beat up in the press.

And we kind of are similar

when it comes to love.

[crowd cheering]

[Fonda] We became friends

on Monster-in-Law,

a film where I have to hate Jennifer.

It was the hardest acting job I ever had.

It seemed the more

we tortured each other on screen,

the closer we became as friends.

And I'm really grateful for

her friendship, her generosity,

which is huge, for showing the world

the beauty of booty!

[crowd cheers]

And making it easier for a whole lot

of girls to love theirs, including me.

Jennifer, thanks for having me be here.

[J.Lo] We actually started

sh**ting the Zodiacs,

which is what I wanted you to do,

to be kind of like the sage,

kind of like fairy godmother

of the Zodiacs.

Listen, Jane, any day you can do it,

any day you can spare two hours,

one for hair and makeup,

and one to come and do the lines.

It's it will take that long.

[Fonda] Uh

[J.Lo] She's very protective of me.

And she felt like

you're putting yourself out there

to get beat up again.

When Jen and I broke up before,

the catalyst for that

was this massive amount of scrutiny

around our private life.

[indistinct chattering from crowd]

We bought a Bentley

and drove around town with it.

You know, it's like,

"Yeah, take pictures of us!"

It wasn't that.

We just we were just like

celebrating our lives and our love.

[Affleck] I had a very firm sense

of boundaries

initially around, like, the press,

while Jen, I don't think objected to it

in the way I did.

I very much did object to it.

Getting back together, I said,

"Listen, one of the things I don't want

is a relationship on social media."

And then I sort of realized

it's not a fair thing to ask.

It's sort of like, you know,

you're going to marry a boat captain,

and you go,

"Well, I don't like the water." You know?

We're just two people

with kind of different approaches,

trying to learn to compromise.

[woman] So this is six, seven, eight.

We don't have to lie

We know this is wrong

Someone on my mind

And someone on my phone

[J.Lo] Everybody always tells you,

when a relationship is built on a rebound,

when somebody rebounds out of something,

they're not ready

for another relationship.

And no matter how hard they try,

or how long they try to stick together,

they're living in a glass house,

it's gonna it's gonna shatter.

[woman] Push. Got me on that re

Run it back.

Rebound, rebound

[J.Lo] It's always so easy

to judge other people and say,

"Oh, you were in that relationship,

and you're so f*cking stupid."

You know, don't you see all your friends

always like, "Come on."

- And you're like, it is not that simple.

- [woman] Right.

- You know what I mean?

- [woman] Mm-hm.

There's something good about this person.

I'm trying to help this person.

And sometimes it's the broken parts in us

that keep us there.

We go up and down

We get lost and found

We go 'round and 'round

We fall in and out

Rebound, rebound, rebound

Catch me on that

Rebound, rebound, rebound

We go up and down

We get lost and found

We go 'round and 'round

We fall in and out

[Meyers] We want to show, is it

It's like this kind of

being shredded and in tatters.

If the love ain't real

I can't really stick around

Guess the game got cold

Now, you wanna rebound

Catch me on that

Rebound, rebound, rebound

Catch me on that

Rebound, rebound, rebound

We go up and down

W e get lost and found

We go 'round and 'round

Glamorous. Glamorous life.

You know how much I love you,

you're my baby.

I'm always going to take care of you.

I'll never leave you.

No matter what.

[J.Lo] There were people in my life

who said I loved you,

and then didn't do things

that were kind of in line

with the word love.

- Perfect?

- What? [sighing]

- Perfect? Huh? Huh?

- Stop! I screwed up.

Stop!

I dare you.

[punching glass]

[dramatic music playing]

[dialogue muted]

[J.Lo] I always thought, like,

oh, it was this other person

that was doing all these things

that were bad and wrong,

but why am I attracting 'em?

Why am I doing that?

Why am I on that vibrational level?

The signs say we're a match.

It's because I haven't

got myself together.

Not looking outward,

like, what is wrong out here?

But what is wrong in here?

It's almost like digging

into the tar inside of you

and kind of pulling it out

deep down and going, this didn't

feel good and that didn't feel good.

And, wow, I didn't realize

that made me feel that way.

And, actually, I'm not really

taking care of myself in a good way.

What do you love about yourself?

[muffled screaming]

You have to hit rock bottom.

Where you're in situations

that are so uncomfortable

and so painful, that you finally go,

"I don't want this anymore."

A therapist said to me,

"What if this was your daughter,

what would you do?"

And it was so clear.

- [punching glass]

- [muffled screaming]

I was like, "I'd tell her get the f*ck

out of here, never look back."

But for me,

it was so clouded and complicated

with so much of my

past and my own pain

and hurt and dysfunction

that I couldn't see clearly.

It was like looking through fog.

[Meyers] In most turbulent relationships,

one of the common things

that you hear about is like,

it's hard to leave.

Even when you know, like,

I don't want to be here,

you stretch apart,

you're still pulled back.

And so it's sort of a metaphoric

explanation for that

that tug and pull that you have

when a relationship's not quite working.

I'm glad that one's behind us.

[Gitty]

The shit that happens in real life,

the truth, to me,

that's the most interesting part.

And it's also

the most difficult part to say.

Some of these things,

we don't even admit to ourselves,

let alone admit to the entire world.

[J.Lo] Being thrown around

and manhandled like that, it's not fun.

I mean, I was never in a relationship

where I got beat up.

- [woman] Mm-hm.

- Thank God.

But I've definitely been

manhandled and hit

couple of other unsavory things.

Rough.

Disrespectful.

More than anything,

it's really a vulnerable place

for me to be in every day.

That's why I go to work every day

and I'm like, "What am I doing?

Why am I doing this?"

It's a personal journey, babe.

A personal journey

that will relate to so many women

who are abused, who take abuse.

You're talking about

how we accept less than we deserve.

I mean, I have good intentions with this,

I just don't want it to suck.

- What are you scared of? Sucking?

- That it's going to f*cking suck

- You're always going to be scared.

- f*cking d*ck.

You're going to scared of it sucking

until it doesn't.

- Enjoy it.

- 'Cause it is sucking until it doesn't.

Well, right now, it's not finished,

you know what I mean?

This does have problems.

- Because it is f*cking sucking

- You've got to discern between things

that suck DNA-wise

and things that just don't work right.

- Well, DNA, I don't think it sucks.

- All right that's all you need.

- But I think right now it just sucks.

- If the the DNA is right

- No, it doesn't suck. That's wrong.

- Yes, it does.

That's just inexperience,

that you haven't done this process before.

I'm sorry that I'm not

an award-winning director. I'm sorry.

- Well, if I was doing a musical concert

- I'm sorry I didn't write

- all the things when I was 21 years old.

- If I was doing a rock show,

I would say to you,

"Tell me how this goes.

Are you usually afraid

before your first performance?"

[laughing]

[choreographer chatting indistinct]

[choreographer]

Want to try it again with music?

- Yeah.

- [choreographer] You got it. Here we go.

["Hearts and Flowers"

by Jennifer Lopez playing]

[choreographer] Yep. Let's go!

Five, six, seven, eight!

Hearts and flowers

It ain't all hearts and flowers

So many nights and hours

Every day of my life

In the grind, faithfully

Superpowers, we all got superpowers

Before you see my life

And say I live the dream

Remember everything

Ain't always what it seems

[music fading]

- [choreographer] Stop!

- [music cuts out]

[choreographer]

Four, five, six, seven, eight.

[foot stomps on floor]

[choreographer] Cross, go.

Now

["This Is Me Now"

by Jennifer Lopez playing]

f*ck!

[music cuts out]

[indistinct chatter]

- [man] Here we go.

- Yeah.

Stop!

[ominous wind whooshing]

[boots stomping on floor]

Now

["This Is Me Now" continues playing]

And I took my time

Had to heal my heart

[muffled music playing]

This is me now

And I took my time

And I took my time

And I took my time

This is me now

And I took my time

And I took my time

And I took my time

[Meyers] In the rehearsal,

you joked that you only had a couple

of these in you, but like, is there

an amount of passes that you wanna do?

- I don't have an amount in my head, no.

- Okay, cool.

- [man 1] Roll cameras.

- [man 2] Rolling.

[somber music playing]

[Meyers] On your marks, please.

All right, crane set.

Playback.

I forget how much older I am

than everybody now. [laughs]

- And everybody else is 22.

- Fifty. Yeah.

I'm just trying to keep up with them.

[Meyers] Three, two, one, action!

- [J.Lo] Dave?

- [Meyers] Yo.

What are we doing?

[Meyers] More. Right?

- Yeah. Yeah, yes.

- [Meyers] Yeah.

[dramatic music playing]

Are we ready?

- Last one!

- [group cheering]

[Meyers] And cut.

[Affleck]

She's still pushing the rock uphill.

And I want to say, like,

"You did it, you did it.

It's okay, you've did it, you proved it.

You're great.

You know, you can, like,

let it go for a minute.

Like, you don't have to carry this.

Uh You don't have anything to prove."

[exhaling]

My heart rate and my wind is

not the same.

I haven't taken a deep breath all day.

[inhaling]

[exhaling]

I'm not going to do anything this weekend.

- Nothing.

- [man] We're good.

I'm not gonna rehearse today.

I'm tired.

Those two notes sheets were f*cking hard.

My husband's away at his

[exhaling]

premiere, and I'm really sad

that I wasn't there with him

this weekend.

He got great reviews.

He's been working on this movie and this

this company for a year and a half,

and I just feel bad.

He just is wondering like, is it worth it?

I don't know.

- Anyway I think I just need a break.

- [phone chimes]

I think I'm just tired.

It's a lot.

You know that feeling you're just letting

everybody down all the time?

And you're never really

just doing anything right.

[sobbing]

[sniffles]

It I just It's

I'm sure everybody feels that way.

Just always feel like

you're just not good enough,

you're not good enough at the steps,

you're not good enough in the movie,

you're not good enough as

as a partner, as a mother, as

all of the things.

And all you want to do

is be the best at all those things.

And it's just hard.

You know?

This is as close as I'll ever get

to this exercise equipment. [laughs]

Put your feet in the back.

Wait, hold on to the front.

[Goldsmith-Thomas] I don't even know

where the front is.

My foot back there?

Look, let me show you. Let me show you

[woman] The fly. You put your feet there,

then you lay your arms out

and you fly like that.

You see?

- Okay, let's see if I can do that.

- [woman] Yeah.

I don't know if

this is the smartest thing for me.

I was so happy

eating yogurt five minutes ago.

So wait.

I put my

- [woman] Yeah.

- Flat. Yes.

Now put your ankle in there.

Jennifer, my foot's too big.

There's nothing I can do about that.

Lean more forward

- Fly, like you're flying.

- [J.Lo] Make enough space for your leg.

Your leg has to straighten out.

- Open your arm.

- [J.Lo] Yes. There you go, did it!

[woman] You did it.

- Now, let your arms out.

- Out where?

Let it fly. Let it fly. Let it fly.

Let it fly.

Put it on your chest and go up.

It's going to help you to go up and down.

Okay? I Wow.

This was so fun. Thank you.

[J.Lo] When it's just me

all by myself, what do I like?

Once the kids were in bed,

and once all of that was happening,

and, you know, I was by myself,

you know, I started looking forward

to coming home, to being alone.

I liked it.

I enjoyed my own company.

All of our adult pain,

all of our adult trauma, all of our

the things that we do that we don't like,

that we f*cking do,

are because of that little girl,

or little boy inside of us,

that's screaming.

That little Jenny is always with me.

And I had to learn how to go back,

and you know, say, "Are you okay?"

You know, when we're born,

I just feel like we come out

so open and ready to love,

and ready to kind of, like,

believe in all the best things

about life, and our parents, and people.

And then little by little, we lose that.

I think my biggest fear

is that I'll fail at being a parent.

And I don't want to.

["Heart" by Darkside playing]

[Meyers] Now, hear we're entering

the heart chamber.

She's stuck in this heart

trying to keep it alive.

She's basically left for dead.

The last-ditch effort is to feed

the dying flame a rose petal.

Standby. Picture's gonna be up.

Quiet please.

Let's do it.

Here we go.

Can't you see behind this love?

Tell me you dont know

What you dont like what you see

[Meyers] We return and the rose petals

have come back

and the flame is roaring to life.

The factory is back working again

because she found love.

Flames are going to come up on this one.

We're going to be hot.

[song continues]

Well, I don't understand it.

- I know, because nobody does.

- [all laughing]

"Real love doesn't

doesn't need to talk.

It just speaks for itself."

"That wasn't love. That was safe."

That's a good line.

"I wish [exhales] Yeah.

How many times have I done that?"

You see where I'm going with this?

Okay, good.

Now she's gone through

three marriages that have fallen apart.

- [J.Lo] All the husbands on a mantle.

- [Meyers] Yeah.

[all laughing]

[J.Lo] And that's it.

Oh, no, no, no.

The very last one

is just kind of the celebration,

when everything goes perfect,

you know, the happy ending.

She loves herself, the last chapter. Jane.

[indistinct chatter]

Every night I go and play in this

I wrote this song today.

I wrote this song today for you.

- I wrote this song [chuckles]

- For you.

I get real scared,

you know, when all that shit

about the Grammys,

and he looked unhappy, it's like

Oh, my God, what's happening?

Nothing. Nothing.

He was like, "It's like, I've become

the symbol of the beleaguered man."

[laughing]

[woman] That's right.

- [Meyers] We're ready to go.

- Yes, let's go.

[Meyers] And then as you

as you get back interested in,

"Oh, what's she doing next?"

It's like, "Who's that guy?" You know?

[Fonda]

"Why can't she just live her life?"

[J.Lo] "She is living her life.

Why can't everyone

just let her live her life?

You know, she's a queen, she's amazing,

and I love her."

"Pisces. Pisces.

You're awful thirsty for a fish."

I don't know what it means.

I love it! It's so good.

[Meyers] It's great, thirsty is

thirsty means that you're

Thirsty is like somebody who's like,

you know, when they put, like, pictures

of themselves naked on Instagram

and they're always, like, posing.

- They're thirsty.

- Like you!

[laughter]

[J.Lo]

"Leah, they're calling her a maneater."

"They call you a maneater?"

[J.Lo] "I've been called many things."

"Join the club."

- [man] Yeah.

- [all laughing]

[man 2] Small re-light

for me to make that work.

[J.Lo] So we're going to do

a separate light cue for this.

[man 3] And they're watching a movie.

[J.Lo] It's exciting and scary.

You're right.

I'm putting myself out there.

- I get it.

- You're right.

But I don't, like I said,

I don't know how else to do it.

When people look at your life

and everything, and look at you,

it's hard to like

How could you possibly have anything,

- you know, to complain about?

- That's why I think it's important to say.

Not complain about, but to

that there's struggle there.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

[indistinct background chatter]

I made some stupid mistakes, too.

Maybe you already know that,

but I'm admitting it to you.

- Yeah.

- You know what I mean?

[Meyers] All right, here we go.

Rolling, rolling.

Quiet, please. Everybody ready.

[man] Roll cameras, guys.

Let's roll sound.

[J.Lo] Don't make me cry.

This better be it, man,

I'm rooting for you.

[Affleck]

What's success for you with this?

Just doing it.

Just doing it is success.

I heard Prince say the thing

about making music is that it is

a success upon making it.

And I've never understood that

more than I do now.

And I know it could end disastrously.

I know that.

[Affleck] Why do it?

I think it's beautiful.

I think it's worthy.

I think it's worth the risk.

If it turns out great

then that's then I fulfilled my mission.

I let people know like, don't give up!

Do it!

Don't be afraid!

f*ck it, do it afraid! [laughs]

Do it afraid!

[upbeat music playing]

They're going to Vegas.

They're getting married.

You know they're gonna be

divorced in a year.

[laughing]

We're drowning

In orchid arrangements

Dresses and pastries

What if it's raining? Yeah

This is what we've been dreaming of

It's crowded

With families and agents

Room reservations

Which destination?

Paps, helicopters, event of the ages

Caught in the matrix

[Beezy]

Ben Affleck was not on my bingo card.

[laughs] I don't think he was anyone's

bingo card to come back.

And what?

We can disappear tonight

What about a midnight trip to Vegas?

Just me and you, baby

[J.Lo] That heartbreak

set both of us on a course to just

to figuring ourselves out,

and to being better people.

[Affleck] Do you think

you've forgiven me all the way?

Yeah, I think

I've forgiven you all the way.

I think I need to

forgive myself some things.

I just wanted to say thank you, guys.

This was a really, really special project.

I know half the time, you guys are like,

"What the f*ck are you guys doing?"

But there is a method to our madness,

and it's a really beautiful story

to be told about love and loving yourself

and what that means for the world.

Everyone who worked on this film

and everyone who created the album,

they really empowered me

because they believed in

what I had to say, that

there's magic out there.

Those five weeks

that we rehearsed with the dancers,

and created this

with all the choreographers,

it was such a cathartic experience for me.

I know it wasn't easy,

and I know I pushed you,

and I know I expected the moon

when we had,

- you know, budget for like a pack of gum.

- [laughter]

But you delivered above and beyond.

And I want to thank Dave

because he put his

whole heart and soul into this.

So, thank you so much, again.

[all cheering]

[J.Lo] I know we're over budget.

- Congratulations.

- Thank you.

[Affleck] So what happened?

Did you sell it?

[line trilling]

- [Meyers] Hey.

- Hey.

It was all the people,

the head of marketing,

the head of, you know, docs,

the head of the whole all the heads.

And they were sitting there,

and the minute it was over,

she was like, "Oh, my God, Jennifer."

It could not have gone better.

- It was crazy.

- [Meyers] That's awesome.

And at the end of the day

someone bought it.

- You put all this together yourself.

- We did it.

- No "we" about it.

- [laughing]

No f*cking "we" about any of it.

Let's go!

[Affleck] It's the first time

she's done something

as an artistic form of expression

that was purely for the sake

of what she had to express.

It was about bringing out things

that she felt inside

that she just wanted to say.

And I don't really love

being in the making-of documentary

about my personal life,

which is why I'm so relieved

that it's not really seems like I might

be in this, but it's not

I'm not really.

I was worrying for no reason.

The movie wasn't about me.

It was about the ability to love yourself.

And that love story

is a lot f*cking harder to find

than Prince Charming.

[Lewis] You don't f*ck around with time.

You live and learn.

Let me say this to you

the prize for aging

is wisdom.

Wisdom feels good.

It's precious.

Love something, love somebody.

But more than that,

you better find a way

to at least like yourself.

When you take your last breath,

you won't think about

who did something wrong to you.

You will think about who loved you.

[Sadghuru]

Love is not something that you do,

it's something that you can become.

It's lifelong.

It goes on

Whether you like it or you don't like it,

you'll end up loving something,

if not somebody.

[deGrasse Tyson] Our atoms

were forged in the cores of stars.

Those stars exploded, scattering

that enrichment across the galaxy,

out of which the next generations

of stars and planets are born.

We are stardust.

It is literally true.

Not only are you alive in the universe,

the universe is alive within you.

You know, art is beauty, but it's pain.

You know, sometimes it's the pain

that's beautiful, it's sad.

[J.Lo]

I feel like I came out the other side.

I've made it through.

I've made something good of my life.

And I'm proud of that.

But one of the parts of that

was admitting to myself,

you're not perfect.

You're not completely whole.

And you know what?

Something that's worn

and older and broken,

like a nice, leather jacket,

or an old pair of boots,

is really beautiful.

And kind of embracing the beauty

of the scars

that we pick up along the way.

["I Still Love You"

by Switch and Andrea Martin playing]

[vocalizing]

Ain't it strange

How I call out your name?

I met silence again

Can't remember when I last smiled within

'Cause doing bad is in

But I'm letting go

I'm giving in

'Cause I still love you

Please come back to me

I still love you

He's everything I need

I still love you

You make my life complete

I still love you, I still love you

Please come back to me

I still love you

He's everything I need

I still love you

You make my life complete

I still love you

I need to breathe

I need you to succeed

I met silence again

'Cause his love grew thin

I can't hurt the same

I'm immune to pain

If you break these chains

Help me live again

If I'd known it was you

I woulda said it was you

But you gave up too soon

You made it seem true

I will risk my heart

If you risk yours again

Boy, I'm letting go, I'm giving in

'Cause I still love you

Please come back to me

I still love you

He's everything I need

I still love you

You make my life complete

I still love you, I still love you

Please come back to me

I still love you

He's everything I need

I still love you

You make my life complete

I still love you

No one ever wants to say goodbye

We should have

Gave ourselves another try

Should've only been one thing

Us against the wind

Now I only have myself to blame

And I cry beside

This thing called rain

Wished our feelings never changed

But I'm letting go, I'm giving in

I still love you

Please come back to me

I still love you

He's everything I need

I still love you

You make my life complete

I still love, I still love

Please come back to me

I still love you

He's everything I need

I still love you

You make my life complete

I still love, love I still love you

Please come back to me

I still love you

He's everything I need

I still love you

You make my life complete

I still love you

Please come back to me

I still love you

He's everything I need

I still love you

You make my life complete

[music fades out]