01x07 - Con with the Wind

[bunniefuu]

- Previously, on Wild Cards...
- You two were close. I can tell.

Just always thought I was gonna
have more time with him, you know?

Hey,

- what are you hooligans up to tonight?
- This your girlfriend?

- We're comrades!
- This is not my girlfriend.

She's way too cool
to be your girlfriend.

She is not way too cool
to be my girlfriend.

- You sure about all this?
- Don't you trust me?

Of course I trust you,
but working with a cop?

Don't worry. This is gonna
get us both what we want.

[ROCK MUSIC]

[♪♪]

Sorry you gotta wear
the bracelet, George.

Small price to pay
to walk as a free man.

Only for 72 hours.

And I'm gonna milk every second of it.

[♪♪]

[HORN HONKING]

Somebody in this join call for a ride?

[BUZZER RINGING]

Hi, honey.

Happy birthday, Dad.

Oof, best present ever.

Oh, this is just the beginning.

I see the jacket still fits.

Yeah, I lost some weight.
Not in the good way.

Oh. I know just the place
to start fattening you up.

You thinking what I'm thinking?

I'm so far ahead of you,
you can't even see my dust.

[LIGHT, JOYFUL MUSIC]

- 10-70.
- Prowler reported.

- 11-81.
- Accident, minor injuries.

You were always the best
at the police code game.

Some kids had Connect Four,

I had a police scanner in a getaway car.

Getaway car's a bit dramatic.

Okay, do you not remember
that one time in Sedona?

With the crystal grift and
the angry desert hippies?

- That wasn't "getting away"?
- Fair point.

Man, those desert hippies
could run, though, right?

[LAUGHING]

Ah, good times.

Man, I wish we could
just pull one teeny,

tiny grift while I'm out.

For old times' sake.

- No way.
- Come on!

- Just one little Mustard Dip.
- No!

What about a "Reykjavik Tongue Swallow"?

- No!
- Ooh, we'll do your favorite,

we pulled it on your sweet sixteen...

Dad!

Wow.

You really are a cop now.

I'm not risking getting
your sentence extended.

Aw... It's sweet of you to think of me.

I'm thinking of me, too.

I miss you. And I'm trying
to get you outta there.

So for the next 72 hours, this
is a crime-free zone, okay?

Whatever you say, boss.

[CHUCKLING]

- 10-91h!
- Stray horse sighting.

Wow! You are the master.

- Flying solo today?
- Yeah, boss gave Max

a few days off. Her
dad's got a three-day pass

for his help on the Ripley case.

- Interesting.
- What's so interesting?

Max works her dad into a case,
he wins himself a furlough...

are you sure you can trust
them out there on their own?

Ellis, perp in holding!
Says he'll only talk to you.

- Who is it?
- Don't know. Don't care.

Get outta my chair.

Suspect's down there. His
case manager's on the way.

Okay, thanks.

JJ?

Hey, Ellis.

- What's going on?
- They busted me

for breaking and entering.

You gotta get me out of
here, man. I-I didn't do it.

[THEME MUSIC]

And you're sure you were
nowhere near the house

that was robbed last night?

No! No, I was in my dorm room asleep.

Then why do they think you did it?

I built a drone in my robotics lab.

The same drone that
was used in the robbery?

Yeah, it got caught in a tree
at the house that was robbed.

Cops traced it back to me.

- How did it get there, JJ?
- I don't know.

Right, fine. Where do
you keep it at night

- when you're not using it?
- It stays in the lab.

Look, I swear I didn't have
anything to do with this,

but no one believes me.

I mean, I'm just the poor kid
at the rich school, you know?

They'll pin this on me for
sure. What am I gonna do?

You're going to stand down.

We'll hand him over to Youth Services.

[SCOFFS]

He didn't do it.

- Based on what evidence?
- I know this kid, okay?

My brother helped him
when things were rough.

- He wouldn't do this.
- Wouldn't be the first time

a kid fell off the straight and narrow.

You're right. But JJ's different.

- I'm telling you.
- I'll say he is.

This drone that he built
is very sophisticated.

It was used to knock out
all the security cameras

- at the scene.
- Exactly. This kid is smart.

I'm telling you. My brother Daniel

was the first person to
recognize how brilliant JJ was,

he got him off the streets, and got him

a full ride at Preswood Academy.
Daniel was the first person

that JJ came out to.

He didn't trust anybody,
but he trusted him.

So that's why he called you.

He doesn't have anybody else, sir.

Those officers in juvie

are just gonna put him
through the wringer.

You know you're too close to this.

Look, he's not what
you think he is, okay?

But if we let him go to prison...

yeah, he will lose his
way, just like a thousand

other good kids have before him.

I'm not gonna let that happen. I won't.

Just gimme a couple of days.

You got a day.

If you can't clear him by then,
I'm kicking it down the ladder.

- Thank you, sir.
- Don't be a suck-up.

- Get going.
- Right... Thanks.

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

Unless you've found my belongings,

I already told the other one everything.

Look, I'm just following
up on a few details,

alright, ma'am? Now, the
responding officer's report

says there was no forced
entry. Is that correct?

- That's right.
- Okay.

- How did they bypass the alarm?
- I have no idea.

How hard could it be?

People hack into the
Pentagon all the time.

- They do?
- Oh, yeah.

- I read about it online.
- Right.

Did they take any
computers, electronics?

- Any other valuables?
- They went straight

for the cash and jewels in
the bedroom. Nothing else.

It's like they knew
exactly where to look.

It says here you were in Italy
during the time of the robbery?

That's right.

So no alarms were triggered,
you're halfway around the world

and yet you called the security company?

How did you know there was a problem?

I got an alert to my phone

that our nine-month-old
son, Bentley, was crying.

- Is that unusual?
- No, he's nine months old.

No, the alert on your phone.

Our home system is programmed
to alert us when he cries.

What was unusual was that
the alert came from here

inside the house. But Bentley was asleep

next to me in my Venice hotel
suite five thousand miles away.

- How is that even possible?
- Am I the detective?

You tell me.

Alright. Thanks for your time.

Okay. Close your eyes and make a wish.

Well? What'd you wish for?

You know it's bad luck to
talk about those things.

If all goes according to plan,

hopefully you'll be
making a different wish

on your next birthday,
because you won't be wearing

- that ankle monitor.
- I just don't ever want to see

- you wearing one of these things.
- I know what I'm doing, Dad.

- You worry too much.
- I got a lotta time

to do nothing but worry. You know what?

Right now, I just want
to be here with you.

No bells, no buzzers, no timers.

Just three days with
my beautiful daughter

and one of these
magnificent custard tarts.

Mmm... [CHUCKLES]

My grandfather was the dean,
then my father and now me.

Enrollment in our school
is incredibly competitive,

even for the legacy students.

Oh! We had a meeting, didn't we, Chris?

- And I'm sorry.
- It's alright, Dana.

I know you have a lot on your plate.

Detective Ellis, this
is Christopher Day,

one of our finest educators.

Sadly, this is his last year.

Uh... Retiring, not dying.

I'm gonna finally write that novel.

- Well, congratulations.
- Thank you.

I just wanted to confirm my
use of the Hewitt Auditorium

for my Hamlet rehearsals.

I had to re-book it
for an alumnus event.

Uh, I'm an alumnus.

A donor alumnus event.

Ah, I understand. Not a problem.

Thank you for understanding, Chris.

May I say, I admired your brother Daniel

and all the work that he
did with at-risk youth.

I was very sorry to hear of his passing.

- Thank you.
- He's the reason we became

aware of JJ and his exceptional gifts,

and gave him the scholarship.

If I may be completely frank with you,

I have had concerns about JJ.

- What kind of concerns?
- He hasn't adjusted well

to life here at Preswood.

Hasn't cultivated new friendships here.

Respectfully, it's hardly a surprise.

I mean, most of your
student body receive

luxury cars and penthouses
for their birthdays.

When my brother found JJ,
he was living on the street,

he was basically homeless.

So yeah, it's been quite the adjustment.

Have you voiced any of
these concerns with JJ?

Our students go on to
become supreme court judges,

politicians, captains of industry.

This isn't the place
where everyone receives

a participation trophy.

So that would be a no.

What more can I help you with?

I'd like to speak with
some of the students

in JJ's robotics class.

Well, you know I can't legally allow you

to speak to any of the students

without their parents' permission.

You're the Dean. I'm sure
you can work something out.

If you have any further
business on my campus,

I suggest you return with a warrant.

Thank you, Detective.

Thanks for your time.

Okay! No more custard tarts.

You're going to spoil your dinner.

Your mother used to say the same thing.

And you never listened to her either.

I did on the important stuff.

She had an amazing nose

for sniffing out people's BS.

That woman was always
two steps ahead of me.

Here's to Mom.

If only she could see us now.

She'd be so proud of you, kiddo.

[BUZZING]

I need an intervention.

My dad's already eaten
three custard tarts.

- Stoolie.
- I know you're with your dad,

- so I'm sorry to interrupt, but, um...
- No worries.

You have my divided attention.

You remember JJ? He was one of the kids

that my brother Daniel was helping?

- The kid from the boat?
- Exactly.

They just picked him up for a B&E

but I know he didn't do it.

And Li's only giving
me 24 hours to prove it.

And you're calling me because...

You're really going to make me say it?

Oh yeah.

- Fine. I need you, Max.
- Say it again.

- No.
- Okay. It was worth a sh*t.

- Just give me a minute.
- Why do I get the feeling

you're about to cancel our dinner date?

I know him, Dad. He needs my help.

He wouldn't ask if it wasn't important.

- What is it?
- There's a kid

that's in trouble.

I've got three days with my daughter

- and you call her to work?
- Look, George, I'm sorry,

- okay, but this is...
- Well, there's no way

you're splitting us up.
So since there's two of us

on the clock now, talk fast.

[RHYTHMIC MUSIC]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Uh, ma'am? Pardon me, ma'am,

are you Beverly Janine Standish?

- I'm sorry, who are you?
- My name is Theo Cornell.

I'm with the fraud department

and I believe you've been
the victim of identity theft.

- Me? How?
- Did you make a purchase

at a cosmetics store this morning?

- I did.
- A lip pencil?

- Uh-huh.
- In Baja Beige?

- Yes.
- Well, since then

someone has charged thousands

of dollars to your credit card,

including two business-class tickets

to Singapore and a lemur.

Presumably, one of the
seats is for the lemur.

Oh, my Lord!

You took the words
right out of my mouth.

- What do I do?
- Well, you need to take

immediate action. Drive
to 1162 Ambrose Avenue.

Ask for Agent Rachel Sisco,

quoting the case number...
Get your phone out.

GX-78TX-1234... 6.

Come now, time is of the essence.

I'm in shock.

This is not how I expected today to go.

[WHISPERING]: I know just how you feel.

The apple really doesn't fall
far from the tree, does it?

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Take your seats, please.

[LOUD CLACKING]

I'm Ms. Morrison, your
substitute teacher.

Get your butts in your seats,
shut your traps and buckle up.

Otherwise, it's a gonna
be one bumpy morning.

Okay... Brittany...

Vince...

Anne. Cute baby.

It's a school project.

Anne is the only one of
us who's going to pass it.

Your assignment is
to raise robot babies?

It's a Health Studies
and Robotics project.

To simulate the real life
responsibility of raising a kid.

Mine's with their nanny.

Right. Okay.

We have one student
that seems to be missing.

- JJ?
- Because he got arrested.

[CURIOUS MUSIC]

- What happened?
- Barely knew him.

He's a charity case.

He's a good guy. And he's really smart.

JJ didn't belong here.

- Right, Anne?
- Right, Brittany.

Why didn't he belong here?
Because he wasn't rich?

He may have the grades,

but he's swimming in
the wrong gene pool.

That won't matter. JJ
works harder than any of us.

- That's why he'll succeed.
- At being shady.

Anne. Tell her.

JJ's roommate saw him

sneaking out of his dorm after curfew.

- [ROBOT BABY CRYING]
- Where was he going?

[SCHOOL BELL RINGING]

Sorry. I'm just gonna...

[ROBOT BABY CRYING LOUDLY]

You're doing great.

Thanks.

So this is where my baby girl works.

She doesn't work here.
She's on probation.

And why did we need to
pick up pastries on the way?

Well, when you're invited somewhere,

it's rude to show up empty-handed.

We're not exactly
going to a dinner party.

This is my daughter's
place of employment.

I want to make a good first impression.

Impression? You're
wearing an ankle bracelet

in a police station.

- Yates? Anything?
- Nada.

If this kid left his dorm room at night,

he must have done it by
teleporting out of there.

- Who's that?
- George Graham.

Max's father. Pleasure to meet you.

Oh, well, look-y here.

Now we get to see
where the crimin' began.

Custard tart?

Yes, I love me a custard tart.

Mmm! Mm-hmm.

You know, you're probably an extremely

untrustworthy individual,

but I'm very okay with you right now.

- Told you.
- So I pulled every B&E

in the last three months
and found two with the exact

same MO. Security footage
knocked out by a drone,

- alarms disabled.
- Damn it.

You may not want to hear this,
but the kid might have done it.

Max told me JJ's been sneaking
out of his dorm room at night.

Not according to this.

[CLEARS THROAT]

You got something you wanna say?

If I may... Just watch
closely right here.

You see right there? Every 90 seconds,

that cup stands up on its own...

- The video is on a loop.
- Yeah?

JJ. We have your laptop.

Okay? Our Computer Crimes
department knows that you

hacked into the campus' security system

and inserted that loop.

Why?

I didn't rob anyone.

Great.

So then tell me where
you were last night.

JJ... we don't have a
lot of time here, okay?

And if they kick your
case back to the courts...

I can't help you anymore.

Look, you called me, remember?

Do you believe me?

If you don't believe me,
then what's the point?

Look, I do believe
you, JJ, but they don't.

So just tell me what you're hiding.

I told you everything I can.

So are you gonna tell me what happened,

or just sit there in moody silence?

So the constant chatter
is a family trait.

We banter with the best of them.

- Now spill!
- There's nothing to spill.

Okay? You can't help with this.

What are you talking
about? I've already helped.

Did you already forget my
award-winning performance

as Theo Cornell, Fraud
Department manager

- and Pisces?
- Pisces?

Pisces. That's his sign. I
go method with my characters.

I appreciate your very
unique way of helping, okay?

But this kid's in some
real trouble, George.

Well, I know kids.

Right...

How many kids have you raised?

Exactly. I've done the
diapers, the feedings,

the terrible twos,

which are actually terrible fours,

two is a breeze. I've been around that

merry-go-round, man, and
I will until the day I die.

I can be your parenting guru.

Alright, fine, yes, George, technically,

you are a parent, yes, but
I mean, come on, not really.

- Pardon?
- Look, my dad was far

from perfect, alright? But
we had structure, stability.

There was rules, we followed them.

He was... He was my dad.

I mean, you and Max are more like...

- Like what?
- Like partners in crime.

- Literally.
- You say that like

it's a bad thing.

Do you remember the first
time you had your heart broken?

- Yeah, sure. Why?
- Tell me about it.

I was 11 years old.

She was sitting right
in front of me in class,

and I finally got the
guts to ask her out...

- She said no?
- No, she said yes.

But... it was only because
she wanted to date my friend.

Who she already had a crush on. Ouch.

Yeah.

So who'd you talk about it with?

I don't think I talked
to anybody about it.

Max's first heartbreak

was a little French kid named Francois.

I remember the day that
she ran home to tell us

that they'd kissed in the playground

and that she thought it
was gross, but also nice.

Then the next week, he
fell in love with Juliette.

The butcher's daughter.

Max came home devastated.

So we stayed up all
night watching movies,

then we stayed in bed all weekend

eating ice cream and cake

and laughing and crying...

until she got over it.

Yes, it's true, I was in
Cote d'Azur running a con.

But I didn't miss one
important milestone

of my daughter's entire childhood.

How many parents can say that?

Look, George, I'm not trying to say

that you're a bad father,
alright? I can tell

you love Max very much. But look,

you got to choose this life.

Did she?

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

You know, Max's dad may be a criminal,

but the man knows his pastries.

- What's wrong?
- Nothing.

Don't give me nothing. You
got that look in your eye.

- What look?
- The look that says

something's not right. An hour from now,

you're gonna be grumpy,
and you're not gonna

pay for lunch at the good kebab place,

- and it's your turn.
- It's this case.

Ellis is hell-bent on
proving this kid's innocence.

Okay, so what? You're worried about him?

- Yeah.
- You're worried that

- he's getting too emotional?
- Yes, I am.

Which is getting you emotional.

You see the irony here?

Just wanna make sure this kid is not

trying to take advantage of him.

Yeah, well...

There's not much you can do
about Ellis. He is who he is.

Gimme that.

Okay, well, now that's

two meals you owe me, so...

[BUZZER RINGING]

[DOOR CLOSING LOUDLY]

Go ahead. My partner
says they're delicious.

I'm Detective Simmons.

Ellis used to be my partner.

- Used to be?
- Things change.

- Yeah, they do.
- So Ellis was the first person

you wanted to talk to. Why him?

His brother, Daniel,
always used to tell me that,

um... if I was in trouble
and I couldn't reach him,

to call Ellis.

Okay. Were you close with Daniel?

Yeah, I was. Most of the social workers,

they didn't care. But... Daniel did.

He was a good guy.

Yeah. Ellis has that in
common with his brother.

Which is why I want to
make sure you're not trying

to take advantage of him.

What... what's that supposed to mean?

Anything to do with Daniel,

Ellis will go to the ends of the Earth.

So when you talk to him, and
you pull the brother card...

- You think I'm scamming him?
- You tell me.

Man, I'm so tired of this!

Seriously! What's the
point of telling the truth

if no one ever believes you?

You were the one that hacked
into the security system

and won't tell anyone why.
So maybe think on that.

Thank you for the food. But um...

I still can't tell you why
I hacked into the cameras.

Listen, kid... if you're
protecting somebody,

I hope they're worth it.

[BUZZER RINGING]

[DOOR CLOSING]

Look, I know JJ's hiding something.

Is he protecting someone?

Maybe he's afraid of somebody. But who?

Well, these kids here are cruel.

Vince was the only one
that stood up for him.

It's high school. Kids
are always terrible.

This isn't your normal high school.

They have robot babies.

There's this one girl, Anne,

carries hers around 24 hours a day.

It burps, it cries, and
does other gross things.

Wait a minute. You said it cries?

The homeowners from
the last robbery said

that they got an alert
from their security system

because of a crying baby.

But their baby was
nowhere near the house.

These bionic bambinos collect data.

Like GPS?

To track quality time with junior.

We need to get our hands
on that baby right now.

I'm gonna call Li, see
if we can get a warrant.

The hell did my phone go? Give me that.

- [CHUCKLES]
- I still got it.

Haven't missed a b*at.

[HANDS CLAP]

Hang up!

I can't let JJ go to jail, Max.

We won't. I promise.
Now put that phone away.

I'm gonna get us that baby.

[ROBOT BABY CRYING]

- [THUDDING]
- Oh!

Do you need help?

Oh, please, thanks.

If I keep bouncing
her, she'll stop crying.

At some point.

She'll... stop crying.

I was a colicky baby.

My mom used to lay me on a dryer

and run it to get me to calm down.

I don't really know
what kind of baby I was.

[SCHOOL BELL RINGING] Ugh,
she reacts to loud noises.

Why don't you just put
her down and take a break?

I can't. I need to get an A.

But after one more week, it'll be over,

and I won't have to
deal with another baby

until I'm a third-year associate

married to a surgery
resident I met at Harvard.

- [ANNE GIGGLING]
- Sounds fun.

um, well, do you have parents
at home that can help you?

Oh, they're in Europe.

Or South America. I can't remember.

Anne, this is what I think.

I admire your commitment to this baby.

But I think you're caring for it

the way that you wished
you were cared for.

[CRYING CONTINUES]

I know she's not a real baby,

but every time she cries,
my heart just breaks.

Okay, well, here's
what we're going to do.

You're going to give me the baby

and I'll care for it the way you would.

- I can't.
- Oh, come on!

It takes a village, ask
any mom. You need a break.

- [LOUD CRYING]
- Thank you.

I wish you were our real teacher.

[SCHOOL BELL RINGING] I gotta go!

Carpe Diem!

I doubt any of these kids

have ever seen Dead Poets Society.

[CHUCKLING] Hi, I'm Chris Day.

Ms. Morrison. I'm filling
in for Bev Standish.

Ah, nice to meet you.
Be careful with that.

It's worth more than we are.

Oh. I'll protect it with my life.

[CHUCKLES]

[CRYING]

- Ricky, my boy!
- Good to see you, George.

Ha. Just like old times, right?

You two steal a lot of babies together?

Don't be ridiculous.

- It was a Pomeranian.
- A nasty little bugger.

- Swallowed a diamond.
- We had to get it out.

Okay, I don't need to hear
the rest of this story.

Well, we didn't hurt
the dog. We just fed it

lots of dairy and waited.
He was lactose intolerant.

Just get in the car,
Ricky. Come on! Let's go!

[ENGINE STARTS]

It all goes so fast.

You know, the one thing
they never tell you about?

The last day.

The last day?

Yeah. Well, for years, you carry them,

hold them, rock them, put
them on your shoulders,

then one day you realize
you'll never pick them up again.

Suddenly they're too big

and don't want to be picked up by Dad.

And it just hits you
like a ton of bricks.

They'll never need you that way again.

You got any regrets?

George, look for a port.

This feels very wrong, Ricky.

Lord, please forgive me
for what I'm about to do.

- Belly button.
- Okay, I'm downloading

all its coordinates.
This'll just be a minute.

- [FART NOISES]
- Uh-oh!

Got it, got it!

- What?
- I think he pooped.

We brought you in because we know

you were in the house
the night it was robbed.

How could you possibly know that?

- Ms. Morrison?
- My name's Max.

You were a good mom,
Anne. Maybe too good.

In fact, the GPS data
from baby places you

at all three of the robberies.

Oh... I'm so tired.
This can't be happening.

You don't have to talk
until a lawyer gets here.

No, no! This... it wasn't
supposed to be like this.

She... She said my parents
would be proud. She promised.

- Who promised?
- Brittany.

Was she at the houses with you?

Brittany, Vince and me...

We robbed the houses together.

Holy High School. It's a bling ring!

Why did you rob the houses?

We had to.

How did you disable the alarms?

Traffic cams place your
car near all three scenes.

- We didn't do it.
- Oh, really?

'Cause we have a confession
that says that you did.

They're from the Skull and Key Society.

So these letters are
asking you to commit

three different robberies.
They even give you everything

you need to pull them
off, down to the addresses

and alarm codes.

Yeah, we were chosen.

For what?

To join the Skull and Key Society.

You are way too young
for one of those parties.

It's the most exclusive group there is.

My dad said if you get
picked for the Skull and Key,

your future is guaranteed.

Judges, CEOs, diplomats, heads of state;

most of these people were
Skull and Key members.

If you're chosen, you don't say no.

Even if it meant committing a crime?

- Yes.
- What about JJ?

JJ had no idea what we were doing.

Did he ever give you
access to the drone?

No. No, we stole the drone.

And we always returned
it until it got stuck.

I-I swear to you,

JJ had absolutely
nothing to do with this.

These letters were an
initiation to the society.

Rob these houses and we'll
bring you into the fold.

Whoever sent these letters to the kids

knew the codes and what to steal.

We already checked: All
three houses have different

- security companies.
- There's a connection

- somewhere, find it.
- On it.

- Hey!
- Hey, um...

They said I could leave.

You're free to go, yeah. Come with me,

I want to talk to you for a second.

I'll be right back. Come on.

Come on, buddy. Here, have a seat.

- You hungry?
- No, I'm good.

Anne, Brittany and Vince
admitted to all the robberies.

- Vince?
- Yeah, why?

No reason.

Well, if it means anything,

he was really adamant about the fact

you had nothing to do with this.

He was really sorry
you got caught up in it.

Now you're free to go back to school,

but the dean can still expel you.

- But I didn't do it.
- I know.

But you still hacked into
the campus' security system.

But if you tell me why,
maybe I can talk to the dean.

- It doesn't matter.
- It does matter, JJ.

Because if she expels
you, I can't do anything

for you at that point.

Thank you for your help.

You're welcome.

That officer will take you home, okay?

- Okay.
- Take care.

- Wouldn't tell you?
- Nope.

- So what next?
- We need to find whoever

was sending those letters.

Here...

Well, the paper is real,

as is the stamp.

But these are forgeries.

How would you know that?

Because she's part of
the Skull and Key Society.

Authentic letters are
handwritten in calligraphy.

And you didn't send any of these?

Absolutely not.

First of all, I don't need the money,

and secondly, Skull
and Key is not a game.

It is responsible for choosing
the leaders of tomorrow.

Based on the state of this world,

you may want to outsource that job.

Who else had access to your office?

Well, there's over 500
staff and students here.

Any of them could have slipped in.

Wait a minute. How can we be
sure that it wasn't the kids?

Because they're not the criminals.

They're the marks. The letters are part

of a sophisticated
version of the Pigeon Drop.

Dad's right. Classic play.

You lure the mark in with
the promise of a juicy carrot

if they do a little something in return.

- [PHONE BUZZES]
- It's Simmons.

He's got something.

The same two cleaners
worked at all three houses

- that were robbed.
- So we've narrowed it down.

But wow do we flush out the real thief?

We dangle our own carrot.

We?

[CHUCKLING]

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

Hi! You must be from Lemon
Goddess Cleaning Service.

I'm Estelle and this is Teresa.

- Come on in.
- Thank you.

I guess I'll start by
giving you two the tour.

Where is my damn chocolate pudding?!

And that's my boss, Shep Garland.

He used to be a famous music producer,

but he went a little crazy...
Also, I should let you know

he spent too much time
next to the speakers

so you'll need to speak up.

Who are these women?

[SHOUTING]: These are the
cleaners you asked for.

Estelle and Teresa.

[SHOUTING]: Hello, Mr. Garland.

[SHOUTING]: Nice to meet you, sir.

You know I was the guy who told Wham

you have to wake up before you go go!

Okay, we need to show
these ladies around.

We're leaving today. You remember, Shep?

Of course I remember!

I can recite the lyrics to
Billy Joel's The Longest Time

backwards and in six languages.

This nasty woman is
only after my millions.

She doesn't know it, but
I'm gonna fire her ass.

I can hear you, Shep.

Of course you can! You're
always eavesdropping!

Did you tell them about my special toys?

Did she tell you about my special toys?

You'll never be the
same after you see them!

Follow me.

So I said to Bon Jovi, this
business is fickle, baby.

It's like every day,
we're livin' on a prayer.

And this is the Media Room.

They can see that.
They're professionals.

And this is where I turn back time.

[WHIRRING] Hear that noise?

What is it?

My a*t*matic watch winder.

Mr. Garland has a
vintage watch collection.

Each one has to be wound every day,

or the lubricants will seize up.

That one right here has
an original Hodenkroner.

Worth more than fifty grand.

It's been to the moon and
back with some astronaut.

I forget his name now. This one here...

ultra rare Scheinflug Classic.


blind Viennese watchmaker,

and last worn by Queen
Annika of Lichtenstein.

Before she went mad and ate her brother.

- It's absolutely priceless.
- Whatever you do,

don't turn the watch winder off.

No. These things are like my babies.

I understand.

I'm glad somebody does.

Alright. This is the alarm
code and the door code.

The cleaning supplies
are in the utility closet.

We'll be back in a couple of days.

- Thank you.
- Okay, Shep, we need to go!

Otherwise, we're gonna miss our flight.

I'm not a child. I know what time it is.

- I've got six watches.
- Yes, sir.

[INTRIGUING MUSIC]

[DRONE BUZZING]

[EERIE MUSIC]

[LOCK CLICKS]

[LIGHT CLICKING]

[GASPS]

[APPLAUSE]

Well done.

[CHUCKLES]

- Cheers!
- Cheers!

[GIGGLING]

There you go.

Felt kind of silly...
pretending to rob a place.

We just had to have you guys
go through all the motions.

Just in case whoever's
doing this was watching.

Is JJ gonna be okay?

I mean, is he really in trouble?

He did hack into the
campus's security feed.

It's the dean's decision. I
can't promise you anything,

but if we pull this off, I
think there's a good chance

- you guys get cut some slack.
- I hope so.

For all of us, I mean.

Alright, kids! Phase one's
complete, time for phase two.

Whoa! They look so real.

No, no. Remember, don't touch them.

At least not without gloves.

Okay... let's see.

Might not stand up
to a jeweller's loupe.

Doesn't need to. Just
had to bait the hook.

Alright, it's go time.

Put the bag in the usual drop spot.

We'll be right behind you, okay?

This has to work, you
guys. I'm not kidding.

Ellis, you're playing
with the A-Team now.

The A-Team? You're on parole

and your dad's wearing
an ankle bracelet.

Ain't it great? [MAX CHUCKLES]

[CRICKETS CHIRPING]

Alright. Finally. Here we go.

- False alarm.
- Patience, my children.

Patience.

- This is stupid.
- Let me see those.

We've been here all
night. No one is coming.

With two hundred grand worth
of watches waiting for pickup?

I doubt it.

Now shh...

I have to pee.

Hey, by the way, happy birthday.

Thanks. It's been great.

Getting back into action...
with a cop no less?

Incoming!

[TENSE MUSIC]

Alright, let's move!

Stop! Police!

[GRUNTING]

- Gotcha!
- Ah! What's going on!?

I'm just the trash collector.

- It's not in here.
- You don't think...

The old Baltimore side shuffle?

What is it?

Yeah... The bag was slit open,

the watches taken out,
and the bag was re-tied.

How is that possible?

Help me tip this over.

[GRUNTING]

False bottom.

We've been out-conned.

Oh-ho-ho! Wait till Li
hears about this one.

Okay, now, I really gotta pee.

- Ow!
- Sorry, Ellis.

The watches could be anywhere by now.

Actually, I think I know
exactly where they are.

Ah! There you are, Chris!

The auditorium became free after all.

So let's talk scheduling.

- Wonderful.
- Mm.

Oh... Dana, what's happening?

- Police.
- Whoa, whoa.

- What's this?
- Caught red-handed.

Or should I say, glow-handed.

Yeah, I cut myself on that
false bottom, just like you did.

I noticed your bandage when we met.

Hey! I traced that hole in the ground

to the basement boiler room.
It must be an old steam vent.

- Who are you?
- I'm her old man.

It was my idea to spray the watches

with blacklight paint.

- I can explain...
- Which one of the cleaners

- was in on it with you?
- My sister Estelle

had nothing to do with
this. I swear to God.

She keeps a notebook
with the alarm codes.

And a list of special
valuables. I just copied them.

Chris... you're about to retire.

Why would you do something so foolish?

My parents worked two jobs each

so I could attend Preswood.

And for what? An elite education?

No! It's about the connections.

My classmates went on to
become CEOs and politicians

while I spent 20 years
teaching their entitled spawn.

Just so I can retire with a pension

that doesn't even cover my groceries!

And you knew those
kids would do anything

to get into Skull and Key.

You know, my daughter
and I pulled a few scams

in our time, but one
thing we would never do

is use children to do
our dirty work for us.

You, sir, are despicable.

Cuff this man so I can take
my dad for breakfast, please.

Max, wait!

You knew how important this was to me,

and you really came through. Thanks.

No problem.

- Take care of yourself, George.
- Yeah.

The dean's not going to expel you.

In fact, she wants your
input into how to make

- the place more inclusive.
- Are you serious?

- Yeah!
- That's great, man.

What's going to happen
to the rest of the kids?

They got let off with warnings,

but honestly, I think
they're more of afraid

of their parents than
the cops right now.

Yeah.

- Can you give me a sec?
- JJ? Can we talk?

I heard you were down here. It's nice.

What do you want, Vince?

Look, man, I'm sorry I used your drone,

but I never thought any of
this was gonna come back to you.

Well, it did.

So, um, thanks for nothing. Yeah... ?

And, uh...

thanks for not telling
them why you changed

the security footage.

I just need some time before
I tell my parents about me.

And... and about us.

There is no us anymore, Vince.

[SEAGULLS CRYING]

[ENGINE STARTS]

So... it was Vince you were
sneaking off to see at night.

He's not out.

Wasn't my place to say.

You're a man of your word.

I'm proud of you.

Daniel would be really proud of you.

You know what? He'd be
real proud of you too.

For trying to fix up his boat. "Trying"?

- What do you mean, trying?
- I mean trying.

Listen, you give me one of these,

and I will show you how it's done.

- Oh yeah?
- Old man.

Okay, let me see what you got.

Okay. Old man?

[LAUGHING] That's not how you sand.

Come on. Just lean into it.

- There you go.
- Is that good?

- Yeah.
- There you go.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Thanks for the best birthday
a father could ask for.

Almost felt like the
old days. [CHUCKLES]

You know, um, seeing those kids,

their life on campus,
it got me thinking...

If we'd sent you to a
school like Preswood,

maybe you'd be a doctor
now or something instead.

- Dad...
- Our life was our life.

And it became your life too. I just...

worry that sometimes, you
didn't really have a choice.

I had a choice.

And our life was the best
school that I ever could've had.

- And you were the best teacher.
- Well...

You're also the best dad, too.

So don't worry about
it. [BUZZER RINGING]

I'm proud of you, bug.

Thanks, Dad.

I'll see you soon.