Oh, God! Book II (1982)

[bunniefuu]

["As Time Goes By" fanfare]

[God] What a mess.

Every time I look down
there, it gets worse.

Maybe I ought to stop looking down.

Millions of planets, and that
one has always been a problem.

Why that one? I know why.

People. I had to put people on it.

Maybe I ought to go down
there and look around.

I gotta do something.

Let's see, um...

[thunder crashes]

Please, not now, I'm thinking.

[bright music]

[Paula] Tracy, don't
forget to wear your hat!

Bye, Mom!

- [Paula] Tracy!
- [door closes]

Mom, who wears hats?

Young ladies do.

Besides, hats are coming back.

Oh, Mother.

Who knows where he's gonna take you?

He's my father, and you
know where he's taking me,

to a movie and a Chinese restaurant.

He always does.

Well, you look terrific.

In fact, you look fantastic.

Have a good time.

[pleasant music]

- Hi, Shingo.
- [Shingo] Think fast!

- Wanna play?
- I can't.

I'm going with my father.

I like to go to the
movies and eat Chinese food.

I wish my parents would split.

But Japanese parents would never split.

- Why not?
- They just don't.

Pretty good for a girl. Wanna try again?

Don't press your luck.

[horn honking]

Hey, how's my baby?

- Okay.
- Good.

[both chuckling]

- Gee, you look nice.
- Thank you.

- Can you get the door?
- Yeah.

Okay.

So, uh, how's school?

- Fine.
- Fine. [giggles]

Listen, you can go
all out today, you know?

Get a double order of egg rolls,
an extra fortune cookie,

- whatever you want.
- Yeah?

Yeah, I got a new spaghetti account.

Want to hear the slogan I came up with?

You ready?

"The taste of mama."

- That's it?
- Oh, come on.

That's only the slogan. Now imagine it.

There's a big pot of really
rich tomato sauce bubbling.

All of a sudden, out of it come

two really delicious-looking
strands of spaghetti, right?

Then, [imitates disco music]

They break into this wild
dance to a disco b*at.

Dancing spaghetti?

Well, Mr. Tenesto likes it.

Then I like it, too.

Look, you're not even going
to ask what I brought you?

Thanks.

[can rattles]

- That's it, "thanks?"
- You're not gonna open it?

You open it, and a big
snake jumps out, right?

Right.

Oh, Daddy, you and your tricks,

you're always trying to
pull something on me.

[Don chuckles]

♪ Happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to you ♪

So what do you think, baby?

What do you want to see?

"att*ck from the Hidden Planet."

Oh, no. Tracy, not another one of those.

Daddy, it's supposed to be terrific.

Oh, yeah, some terrific.

You said that about the one last week.

What a thriller that was.

In one second, a plant
turns into a person?

Come on, Tracy.

But they explained it, Daddy.

- Oh yeah?
- It was because

- they came from another planet.
- Mm.

I mean, their spirits did.

I didn't see any spirits. What spirits?

Daddy, you can't see spirits.

Tracy, just once can't
we go see a normal movie

with Laurence Olivier or Walter Matthau?

"Benji," I'll even go see a
movie about a cute dog, huh?

Daddy, just because
you can't see spirits

doesn't mean they're not there.

It's kind of like believing in God.

Sometimes you just have to
believe in things you can't see.

Okay.

I gotta call Joan. I'll be right back.

You still going with her?

- [sighs] Yeah.
- She isn't as pretty as Mom.

Well, she has other
qualities I find attractive.

- Her big boobs?
- Oh, come on, Tracy.

- Give me a break, will you?
- Mom says she has big boobs.

[Don sighs]

I wonder what kind of boobs I'll have?

I'll be right back.

- You want that tea now?
- [patrons chattering]

[coin dings]

I'll have the butterfly shrimp.

That's good there.

[Host] That's a party
of three at seven o'clock.

Okay, Mr. Jones.

[God] Come in, Tracy.

It's all right. Come in.

Tracy, I'd like to talk to you.

Where are you? I can't see you.

- But you can hear me, Tracy.
- Dad?

I've been called "our
Father,” but never "Dad."

Aw, come on, Dad.

Another one of your trick voices?

You can't fool me.

- Where are you?
- Tracy, I'm God.

Yours truly from the fortune cookie.

Okay, so you're God.

What can I do for you?

[God] Tracy, I really am God.

I'm not your father.

I'd like to get to know
you a little better.

That would be nice, but
first make up with Mom.

All right, so why don't we meet

in front of the store on Monday?

Oh, yeah. That'd be great.

[God] Tracy, if I'm your father,

Those girls would hear me
talking, wouldn't they?

Did you just hear that man's voice?

- What voice, honey?
- Where?

[God] Tracy, they can't hear me.

There it goes again. Did you hear it?

- No.
- [both snickering]

But, but if you were God, why
would you bother with me?

[God] Tracy, it was something you said

that sort of interested me,

that, "Sometimes you just have to believe

in things you can't see.”

[gasps] Wow! How'd you know I said that?

[God] I know, I see, I hear.

This place is too busy.

Tracy, I'll see you later.

Wait! Don't go yet!

Where later? How?

- Tracy.
- Huh?

Oh, hi, Mrs. Manley.

Who were you talking to?

I don't know. I'm not sure.

Are you still there?

[bemused music]

He's gone.

[peaceful music]

You okay?

- Yeah.
- Yeah?

You've been awful quiet
since we left the restaurant.

I'm fine. I've just been thinking.

Ah, thinking. About what?

Have you ever felt like
you might be dreaming

even though you knew you were awake?

Would you like to run that by me again?

Like something happened to you,

but it's more like a dream than real.

Daydreaming. Yeah, sure.

It happens to everybody. It's okay.

Listen, I gotta stop by the office
for a minute, pick up something.

Would you wait for me in the car?

- Okay.
- All right?

[taps hood]

- [God] Tracy, it's me again.
- What? What?

That wasn't a dream
you had. It was real.

- Where are you?
- In the back seat.

Well? Disappointed?

Oh, gosh, no, God, sir.

Why, why would I be disappointed, sir?

Are you really God, sir?

Forget the "sir." Just plain
God, the owner of the store,

also known as the man upstairs.

I don't know, but somehow
I thought you'd look holier,

and more fancy, sort of.

I mean, like with a
crown, and a long beard,

and a flowing white robe.

You're thinking of Charlton Heston.

I can't get over it.

It's just that,

that I guess I expected
you to look much older.

Thanks, Tracy. I take care of myself.

- How old are you?
- Who knows?

After the first 2 million
years, I stopped counting.

It's awkward talking like this.

Wow! How'd you do that?

If I could part the Red Sea,

I can certainly move
to the front of a car.

You know, Tracy, it's refreshing talking

to a young lady like you.

Takes my mind off some of my problems.

- You have problems?
- Yeah.

I'm not always on cloud nine.

They're still not getting my message.

I'm just not in people's thoughts.

They don't believe in me as
much as they should these days.

Well, I sure do.

And I'm not saying that
just because you're here.

I know that, Tracy.

But there are people who think of me

only a couple of times a year.

Then there are others
don't think of me at all

until that very last minute.

And then, boy, do I hear from them.

People have to be reminded
that I'm still around.

Well, then why don't you come up with

one of your big miracles.

I bet that would really shake them up.

Eh. People remember the
miracle and forget why I did it.

I've got it!

My dad's in that business,
you should advertise!

Television, radio, billboards,
newspapers, get a slogan!

A slogan? [chuckles]

Tracy, I'm not a tube of toothpaste.

Slogans really work.

You'll become a household word.

"Household word," yeah.

That would be nice for a change.

All right, Tracy, you've
got yourself a job.

You think of a slogan,

and I'll think of a way
to spread it around.

I'll ask my dad.

He'll come up with a great one.

No, no, no.

I haven't been doing too
well with grownups lately.

- I'd rather it came from you.
- Me?

I'm the world's worst writer,
and my spelling is the pits.

I don't take off for spelling.

You see, Tracy, if it comes from you,

it'll be something that
your friends can understand.

That way, I'll have the
children on my side.

And when they grow up,
I'll have their children.

Once you've got the children,
that's the ball game.

Then I'll be able to take
care of a few things,

like all that pollution
that you've got down here.

And have you noticed you're
running out of eagles?

And there are a few volcanoes
that need cooling off.

Well, what do you say, Tracy?

Will you come up with a slogan?

- Okay. I'll sure try.
- Good.

I can't believe this is happening to me.

Nobody else will, either.

You're the only one
who can see or hear me.

If you tell them about our little visits,

- they'll think you're, uh...
- Bonkers?

Definitely.

They gave some of my best
people a pretty bad time.

[bell tolling]

Here comes your father.

Here you go.

Sorry I took so long.

[sighs] Okay. Ready for your movie?

Yep.

[engine starts]

[Don] Three laser fights,
a collision of planets,

you don't even watch.

Halfway through the movie,
you want to go home.

- You okay?
- Sorry, Daddy.

You don't have to be sorry.

- Daddy?
- Hmm?

Let's say you have a big new client

and you need a real super slogan.

Where do you start?

Well, uh, first you examine
the product, you know?

You try to pick out

the single most important thing about it.

You know, the thing that's really
gonna make it sell, like, um...

Well, take potato chips, for example.

No, something bigger, more important.

Well, it doesn't really matter.

You know, a product's a product,
the principle is the same.

Well, let's say you're selling a person.

- Okay.
- A very important person,

- Mm-hmm.
- Like, uh, well,

let's say, God?

God. I don't think
I'd handle that account.

You know, you make a mistake

and you got a lot of trouble there.

Don't try and get out of it, Daddy.

How would you sell God?

Okay, God.

God, well, first I'd, uh, make a
list of his good qualities,

you know, his most salable features.

And then I'd, uh, come up with
a nice low-key slogan.

And then I'd set up lunch
with him at the Polo Lounge

and pitch it to him.

And then?

Well, if he likes it,
I'll pick up the tab.

If he doesn't like it,
I'll let him pick it up.

What is all this stuff about God?

Is that some kind of school project, or...

Sort of. It's an assignment I just got.

Oh, I see.

Listen, before I drop you
off, I want to pick up Joan.

- Is that okay?
- Okay.

- There she is.
- [honks horn]

Yep, there they are.

Tracy, would you stop
talking about her...

- Big boobs?
- Oh, come on.

Would you rather I call them knockers?

Look, could we just
drop 'em? Uh, drop it?

[Tracy giggling]
[Don sighs]

- Hi. How are you?
- Mm, you tell me. Mm.

Hi, Stacy.

- Tracy.
- Oh, of course.

Oh, what's that?

It's a present my dad got me. Open it.

- I...
- [Joan screams]

[Tracy laughing]

Cute, thank you.

[door closes]

- Hi, Mom.
- Hi. How was the movie?

Dumb.

- How was the egg roll?
- Good.

And his girlfriend?

Big.

- [Paula sighs]
- Called me Stacy again.

Oh, well, your father's
not exactly interested

in her brain.

- Mom?
- Huh?

There's something's
on my mind and I was...

How can he think
she's only 28 years old?

That man is so gullible.

Mom, I'd like to ask you a...

Did he mention where he was taking her?

- Mom?
- Well, what was she wearing?

Mom, she's yucky.

She's way over 28,

- and you're ten times prettier.
- Oh...

You are a brilliant child.

Mom?

We know that God has a lot
of wonderful qualities,

but what would you say are
some of his strongest points?

Tracy, what are you talking about?

- God.
- [horn honking]

[sighs] We're gonna have
to talk about it later.

That's the Gelmans.

I'm showing them a house,

and they're taking me out to dinner.

Now, you go to bed when Rosa tells you to,

and don't give her any trouble, okay?

Can I stay up a little late?

- No school tomorrow.
- All right.

Don't watch any horror films, okay?

[frightening music]

[door creaking]

- [woman on TV shrieks]
- [Rosa] Ay, dios mio!

[Woman On TV] Elsa! Elsa!

Rosa, you're missing the best part.

I like it better this way.

Rosa, do you believe in God?

Of course I do.

Ever see him?

No, but I talk to him.

You talk to God?

All the time.

Did you talk to him today?

- You did?
- This morning when I pray.

And did God talk to you?

No, he never talks to me.

Maybe he doesn't understand
Spanish so good. [chuckles]

- Rosa?
- Yes?

What would you say if I
told you that I saw God today

and we talked to each other?

[woman on TV whimpering]

You better go to bed.

You're getting loca
from these crazy movies.

You saw God in your dad's car?

That's right.

And you talked to him
in a Chinese restaurant?

- Right.
- Did you get his autograph?

- You're putting me on.
- No, you're putting me on.

Shingo, I really did see God.

Okay, okay. Well, what did God say?

He said if he could get us kids

to help him spread his message,

then there would be time
for him to do other things,

like cool off a volcano and stuff.

You two had some rap session.

He wanted me to come
up with a slogan for him.

- Slogan?
- Yeah, like they have

in TV commercials.

Oh. What else did he say?

He said spelling didn't count.

I don't believe a word
of what you're saying.

Spelling always counts.

Why do I waste time talking to you?

[dramatic music]

Maybe she did see God.

Harold.

Can you give me a set
containing five prime numbers?



That's very good, Harold.

[Girl In Front] Miss Hudson?

Miss Hudson?

- Lisa.
- Whew.

Can you tell me the properties of a set?

It's a series of whole numbers.

That's right. Thank you.

[Girl In Front] Miss Hudson!

Miss Hudson! Miss Hudson!

I know. Miss...

Tracy.

Can you tell me the
properties of a subset?

Tracy, I'd like to see
you after class is over.

Tracy, you have been very
inattentive in class,

and you haven't turned in
your homework all week.

I'm sorry, Miss Hudson.

Is there anything the matter at home,

something I should know?

You sure?

Well, what have you been
doing with your time?

I just can't explain it.

[Miss Hudson] Well, I'm going to send

a note home to your parents.

Maybe you can explain it to them.

Girls, I bought a lot
of underwear for my men,

and every year I pick Fruit of the Loom.

- [spring twangs]
- Surprise, Emma!

- Hiya, cuties.
- [laughing]

I say every time buy
Fruit of the Loom briefs.

[remote clicks]

In the long term, they don't.

So I carry the American Express card.

I ordered steak.

I don't want a movie.

But I wanted steak.

I don't think he wants the movie.

[Announcer] At PSA, we never lost sight

of what an airline should be.

So, at PSA, we give you more
planes and less fancies.

We give you low fares, not fanfares.

You still watching television?

Yeah, it's Friday night.

You should be in bed.

It's almost 11:30.

I just want to see some
of the Johnny Carson show.

All right. Would you like some cocoa?

Yeah, great.

But after cocoa, you go to bed, eh?

[The Tonight Show theme plays]

From Hollywood, The Tonight Show,

starring Johnny Carson.

This is Ed McMahon

along with Tommy Newsom
and the NBC Orchestra

inviting you to join Johnny and his guests

Bob Hope, Angie Dickinson,

Melissa Manchester, and
Olympics expert Bud Greenspan.

And now, ladies and
gentlemen, here's Johnny!

[audience applauding]

God? On the Johnny Carson show?

Why not? He gets everybody
else to replace him.

I can't believe it.

Don't worry, Tracy.

Only you can see me.

Everybody else is watching Johnny Carson.

Wow, you really get around!

When you got a territory as big as mine,

you can't dog it.

Well, have you got a slogan for me?

Yeah, I got a few.

Good, good. Let's, let's hear them.

Okay, here we go.

"How do you spell relief? G-O-D."

That's nice.

It's, it's real nice, but I
don't think it's for me.

How about this?

"God is bullish on humanity."

That's, that's nice, too.

You got any more?

Oh, sure. This one's my favorite.

"You're in good hands with God."

That's good.

But then again, Tracy,
that's always been good.

I thought you'd go for that one.

How about, "let God put you

- in the driver's seat?"
- In the driver's seat?

Yeah. Look, I worked hard on these.

I'm sure you did.

But, Tracy, I don't want
you to think I'm bragging,

but let's face it, I'm an
original. The one and only.

I made my own mold and threw it away.

You know, this isn't exactly easy.

I didn't say it would be.

- I'll give you another week.
- Just a week?

That's long enough.

Look at what I accomplished in a week.

And I did it without computers.

Yeah, but you didn't
have a math test coming up.

One week.

I say if you don't set
deadlines, nothing happens.

Can I ask my dad for help?

In math, sure.

What about Shingo? Can he help me?

Your little friend?

Yeah, Shingo can help.

Well, we'll do the best we can for you.

We'll really try.

But a week? I don't see why
you have to have it so fast.

Tracy?

- Who are you talking to?
- Nothing, um, nobody.

But, Tracy, you were
just talking to someone.

That? Oh, I was talking
back to the television.

Well, the set isn't even on.

I turned it off.

It was some dumb commercial.

They're always trying
to sell you something.

[Shingo] How about, "You
can be sure if it's God?"

[Tracy] No, I told you,
it has to be original.

[Shingo] Tracy, we've
been at it for hours.

Let's go home. I'm starved.

Wait! I think I'm on to something.

I like it. Let's go.

I didn't say it yet.

How about, "Buy God, B-U-Y?"

Great. Let's go.

Nah, it's too commercial.

He wouldn't like that.

I guess you know him better than I do.

- How about, "Try God?"
- Great.

- "Good God!"
- That's even greater.

- "Great God!"
- Perfect!

Nah, it just misses.

How come everything just misses?

I don't know. It's just a gut feeling.

That's an advertising expression.

Well, I've got a gut feeling, too.

I'm hungry. Let's go home.

We'll think God tomorrow.

What did you say?

I said we'll think God tomorrow.

- That's it!
- What's it?

"Think God!"

"Think God!" That's a terrific slogan!

Oh, Shingo, you saved the day.

"Think God," he'll love it!

[horn honking]

I can't believe it.

Who does she think she's talking to?

There's got to be something
wrong with that kid.

[gasps] You know, this is the second time

I've seen her act like that.

Harriet, look at the
way she's carrying on.

Poor Tracy.

[chuckling] Poor Paula.

I wouldn't want to be her mother.

"Think God,” hmm, yeah.

"Think God."

Very interesting, it's got a message,

it's short and tells it all.

Tracy, I really like it.

Thank God.

I like that one too, but
let's go with "Think God."

Oh, Shingo came up with that one.

I had a hunch he would.

Well, now that you like the slogan,

how are you gonna spread it around?

Well, you've done
such a good job so far,

I'm gonna have you do it.

Me? I wouldn't know where to start.

Why don't you start with your friends?

But a whole big advertising campaign?

How would I do that?

I'm sure you'll find a way.

I don't think this is fair.

Why don't you pick on somebody

who isn't behind in her homework?

Tracy, I've picked on
some pretty good people.

You should be happy to
be in their company.

Well, okay.

You know, you're not
exactly easy to turn down.

So that's what we've gotta do.

We've got to write "Think God"
all over the place,

on walls, on sidewalks.

We've gotta make little signs
and stick signs on trees,

car bumpers, telephone poles, everywhere.

We want it all over, "Think God."

- You know what I think?
- What?

- I think you're a loony.
- [children mocking]

If I'm gonna write on the walls,

I'm not writing "Think God."

Yeah, I know you, Charlie.

The things you write on walls
would fog up your glasses.

[children laughing]

Come on, you guys. Let Tracy talk.

Listen. This is a good idea.

We all take God too much for granted.

Why shouldn't we remind
people to think about him?

If it wasn't for him,
none of us would be here.

That'll sure shake up
my mother and father.

[children laugh]

I think Tracy's got a neat idea.

Let's do something good for a change.

Let's take a vote.

All in favor, raise your hands.

[Children] Yay!

What is this?

What are we, a bunch of religious freaks?

Next thing, you'll have
us shaving our heads.

I've heard some dumb ideas,

I've heard some crazy ideas,

but I've gotta tell ya,
this one takes the cake.

And it should take the cake,
because it's a great idea.

It's the greatest idea I ever heard.

Let's all get together behind
Tracy and put this thing over.

[children cheering]

What made me say that?

[joyful music]

Hey! Hey, what do
you think you're doing?

Go on, go on. Get outta here.

There. Now, that looks better.

[joyful music continues]

[clock chiming]

- [Paula] Tracy? - Yes?
-

- Tracy, I want to talk to you.

Can't it wait? I'm awful hungry.

I want to talk to you right now.

Got the note from Miss Hudson, huh?

Sit down.

Mom, you don't have
to worry about a thing.

I'm gonna catch up on all my homework.

Tracy, sit down.

When's dinner?

Park it.

Tracy, Harriet stopped
by the office today,

[sighs] and she told me that
she saw you talking to yourself

at the Red Dragon,

that you were doing the
same thing at McDonald's.

Now, what's going on?

I wasn't talking to myself.

Well then, who were you talking to?

Was it the same person you were talking to

the other night when I got home late?

Tracy?

You won't believe me.

[Paula] I will.

God.

What's God got to do with it?

He's the one I've been talking to.

Oh, God.

Oh, God. [chuckles]

You mean you've been praying
to God, sort of out loud?

No. He talks to me, and I talk to him.

You mean, you actually heard him?

Sure, I heard him. He
was right there in the den.

- You mean you saw him, too?
- Uh-huh.

Oh, Tracy.

It's impossible. You're
imagining things, honey.

I mean, people just do not
see and chat with God.

Mom, I saw him, lots of times.

I knew you wouldn't believe me.

Shingo, that's great, but
I can't talk about it.

I'm trying to do my homework.

Homework? Who's doing homework?

We're all printing, painting, and posting.

I got my cousins doing
it over at their school.

It's spreading all over!

- Shingo, that's great.
- That's just fantastic.

Keep up the good work.

- You can take over for me.
- Tracy, you started it!

All right, I know I started it,

but you can finish it for me.

- Goodbye, Shingo.
- Wait. Tracy, I...

Oh, hi.

Tracy, you can't quit.

I just did.

You're off to such a great start.

You're doing a super
job for a great cause.

And getting into super trouble.

Welcome to the club.

There are some heavy
hitters in that lineup.

Socrates, Martin Luther King,

Mahatma Gandhi, Abe Lincoln.

But I'm just a kid.

I told my mom the whole thing,

and now she thinks I'm bananas.

Never fails.

She's really uptight about it.

Bananas, I hate that expression.

I make a beautiful fruit,
and people use it for crazy.

My teacher's on my back, too.

I've been so busy doing your stuff,

I haven't done any homework.

Let me see what you got there.

About a zillion problems
to make up, that's all.

Let me see. Maybe I can help you.

Hmm.

Mathematics, that was a mistake.

I should have made the
whole thing a little easier.

You make mistakes?

Nobody's perfect.

I blew it with the Dead Sea.

All that salt and no life in it.

And the flamingo, beautiful bird,

and I put the kneecaps on backwards.

And I could have found a better way

for a skunk to defend himself.

And you sure goofed with the giraffe.

Giraffe?

Why'd you make the neck so long?

So he could eat the
leaves off the trees.

Why didn't you just
make the trees shorter?

Where were you when I needed you?

I don't believe it.

- I mean, this is incredible.
- [Paula] I know, it's awful.

[sighs] You know, a couple of weeks ago,

she was acting a little strangely. She...

Yes, she was asking me
some questions about God,

you know, I mean, how to handle

an advertising campaign for him.

I didn't think anything
about it at the time.

I just don't know how
a think like this happens.

Do you suppose maybe she's
making the whole thing up?

You know, as a kind of a
play for attention or...

Oh, come on, Don.

I mean, if there's one thing
about Tracy, she's truthful.

I mean, I... I don't
think that child ever told

a lie in her life.

[Don sighs]

I'm sorry I was so crabby before.

I understand. Here's your homework.

Wow! Thanks.

- God?
- Yeah?

Who do you pray to?

Me? Well, sometimes I talk to myself.

It must be real lonesome up there.

Well, let me put it this way.

When I sneeze, there's no
one around to bless me.

- [Don] Tracy!
- Uh-oh, now it's my dad.

I've gotta go.

And bless you, God.

That's for your next sneeze.

[door closes]

Maybe I should have made
the trees a little shorter.

- Hi, Daddy.
- Hi, sweetheart.

- How's my baby?
- I'm okay.

[Don sighs]

- So, uh...
- Mom told you, huh?

Look, um, sweetheart,

you know, sometimes
people imagine things, um,

kids in particular.

I didn't imagine it.

And, and the thing is it
seems so real, you know?

It really seems like it happened.

I talked to him. He talked to me.

Your imagination just
runs right away from you.

Daddy, I know it's hard to believe.

It's hard for me to
believe, but it happened.

It happened? Um...

You know, Tracy, let,
let me get this straight.

You're saying you, you actually saw God?

I mean, as a real person?

Lots of times.

When was the last time you saw him?

He just helped me with my math.

Oh, my God.

God was upstairs helping
you with your homework?

Yeah. Here it is.

Well, his multiplication is very good,

but, Tracy, sweetheart,
these are your numbers.

That's your writing.

That was easy for him to do.

Yeah, I suppose it would be.

Right. Well, um, okay.

Well, we'll talk about
this later, all right?

Why don't you, uh, why don't you
go back upstairs and, uh, finish your,

your studying, okay?

But you both think I'm bananas!

Oh, I shouldn't have said that.

He hates that expression.

[door closes]

What the hell has been going
on around here since I left?

What the hell does that mean?

Maybe if you spent a
little less time peddling

those overpriced houses,

this probably wouldn't have happened.

I have never neglected
that child, and you know it.

And damn it, I am not the
one who moved out, you are.

Oh, let's not get into that right now.

That's not the problem.

Why don't I take her to
a child psychiatrist?

No! No way, never.

Paula, she needs help.

Look.

[clicks tongue] You take care of boobs,

and I will take care of Tracy.

We're not here to argue.

She's in trouble.

What about a minister?

I mean, he could at least, you know...

Look. Why do we have
to take her to anybody?

I mean, maybe it's not
all that bad, you know?

I mean, she's ours.

Can't we... can't we just
work it out ourselves?

[Don sighs]

Okay. Give it a couple of days.

I mean, maybe she'll just snap out of it.

I'll call you.

God helped her with her homework.

Terrific, just terrific.

[door closes]

[lighthearted music]

[bell rings]

What the hell is going on around here?

Everywhere I look, "Think God."

Who's responsible for this?

- Oh, it's Tracy Richards.
- Tracy Richards?

Who is Tracy Richards?
What grade is she in?

She's in Miss Hudson's class.

Mm-hmm. Well, get her in
here and Miss Hudson, too.

I'm gonna get to the bottom of this.

What are we running a
school or a monastery?

[students chattering]

Uh, now, Mr. and Mrs. Richards,

since this is a behavior problem,

I've asked Dr. Young, our
school psychologist, to, uh, sit in.

She's a little behind
in her homework, but...

Oh, it's way beyond that, Mrs. Richards.

Have you seen all those
"Think God" signs around?

Well, Tracy is responsible
for the whole thing.

She held a meeting, she
got the kids all worked up,

and now they're all
running around writing,

tacking up signs.

What, exactly, is so awful
about writing "Think God?"

- I mean, uh...
- Yeah, I mean,

if kids are gonna write
things on walls anyhow,

they might as well write
something nice. [laughs]

I agree, but the point is,

religion in the schools
is a very sensitive area.

It is not allowed.

Mm, she's got the
whole place in an uproar.

She's disrupted the entire school.

She's never been a troublemaker.

Well, she's certainly
making up for it this time.

I had a talk with her,

and I told her to cut all this out,

but she said she couldn't.

She couldn't?

That's why you're here.

Would you bring in Tracy, please?

Um, if you can't get her to cooperate,

I'll simply have to
suspend her from school.

I'm sorry.

[Principal Benson] Tracy,
would you sit down, please?

Your parents would like
to talk to you. [sighs]

[Paula sighs]

Tracy,

you really have to cooperate.

I mean, Mr. Benson is right.

You've disrupted the entire school.

And, well, unless this thing stops,

they're gonna suspend you.

Now, you don't want that to
happen, do you, sweetheart?

[children playing outside]

Okay, Mom. I guess you're right.

I'll tell the kids to
call the whole thing off.

Aw. [chuckles]

Well, now, that's all we ask.

All right, Tracy, you
can go back to class now.

Thank you, Mr. Benson.

- Bye, Mommy.
- Goodbye, sweetheart.

- See you Saturday, Daddy.
- Bye, baby.

[dramatic music]

But before I tell the kids
to stop, I have to ask him.

Ask who?

[Dr. Young] Ask who, Tracy?

- God.
- Oh, God. [sighs]

[Dr. Young] He's the one
who told you to do this?

Yeah. It was part
his idea and part mine.

Oh.

[Dr. Young] When you talked to him,
did he talk to you, too?

Well, yes. In fact,
he talked to me first.

I see.

We talked quite a few times.

When was the first time?

You mean the first time I talked to him,

or the first time I saw him?

- You saw him?
- [Tracy] Sure.

What did he look like?

Well, he wears glasses,
and he's got gray hair,

and he's a very nice-looking man.

I'm sure.

How did you first meet him?

In a Chinese restaurant.

He sent me a message in a fortune cookie.

Tracy, would you wait
out in the hall, please?

[door closes]

Your child needs help.

She is out of touch with reality.

Now, wait a minute.

I have my responsibility.

I'm sorry to tell you this,
Mr. and Mrs. Richards,

but, as of now, Tracy is
suspended from school.

For how long?

Until she's well.

[Shingo] How do you
like that, suspending Tracy?

It's not fair. She
didn't do anything wrong.

Yeah, if they're gonna throw her out,

why don't they throw us out?

We've all been writing "Think God."

What are we gonna do?

Well, we're not gonna
take it lying down.

We'll fight back. Come on!

And another thing, everybody
is trying to help me,

and I don't need any help.

I feel fine. I'm perfectly normal.

In fact, you oughta be proud of me.

Not everybody gets picked by God.

You know, I'm in a pretty good club too,

Socrates and Abe Lincoln,
and people like that.

Mr. and Mrs. Richards,

the doctor would like to see you first.

We'll be back in a minute, baby.

Hiya, Tracy.

Oh, hello.

I was wondering when
you were gonna show up.

Expelled from school,

and now you're a little
upset about this, huh?

No. I'm fine.

I thought you might be a little upset.

I know you've got a lot of things to do,

but you wouldn't get so busy

you'd forget about me, would you?

Well, you are a little
worried, aren't you?

I guess I am.

Let me, let me tell you a little story.

There was this tiger in the jungle,

and he got a thorn in his
paw, and it was very painful.

And there was this little
cat there who saw this,

and she pulled the thorn
out of the tiger's paw.

And this made the tiger very happy.

And the little cat says, "Now
that I've done you a favor,

you can do me a favor."

And the tiger says, "Anything."

The cat says, "Whenever I'm in the jungle,

I'm scared of all the other animals.”

And the tiger says, "No problem.

All you have to do when
you walk through the jungle

is hold your head up, shake
your head, wag your tail,

and they'll all think you're a tiger."”

And the little cat tried it

and got away with it for three years,

until one day, she ran
into the same tiger.

And there she was, shaking
her head, wagging her tail.

And the tiger says, "Look kid,

you don't have to shake your
head and wag your tail at me.

I know you're a cat.”

- That's it?
- That's it.

But what does that have to do with me?

Nothing, but it's such a cute story,

I thought it might cheer you up.

That's better.

You've been separated for
seven months, is that right?

- Yes.
- I see.

Well, from what you've told me,

Tracy's contacts with God

usually take place in eating areas.

The Chinese restaurant,
McDonald's, an ice cream cart.

And they have all taken place
since you, Mr. Richards,

left the house following your separation.

So, obviously,

Tracy has created a fantasy father figure

as a substitute, to give
her the emotional nurturing

she craves from her missing father.

Are you sure?

Well, one is never completely sure,

but there's something else you
said that's very intriguing.

Tracy's fantasy father, God,

like her real father, is
interested in advertising

or spreading a message, so to speak.

Well, that's true.

Well, these are only theories.

Now, I'll have to give
Tracy a series of tests

in order to verify them.

[All Chanting] Bring back
Tracy! Bring back Tracy!

Bring back Tracy!

Bring back Tracy! Bring back Tracy!

Bring back Tracy!

Bring back Tracy! Bring back Tracy!

Bring back Tracy!

Bring back Tracy!

[gentle music]
[equipment whirring]

[winces] Ow.

What's your first
memory involving a person?

I can remember my dad peeling an apple.

[table whirring]

[Dr. Newell] Now, today,
I want you to tell me

if these are real people
or imaginary characters.

[Tracy] Robert Redford, he's real.

George Washington.

- Was he real?
- Of course.

Bugs Bunny.

Real or imaginary?

[chuckles] Oh, come on, Doctor.

Now, would you mind
looking at these slides

and tell me what you see?

Egg foo young.

[Dr. Newell] Okay. What about this?

Shrimp in lobster sauce.

[Dr. Newell] And this?

Spaghetti, "The taste of mama."

You seem to associate
everything with food.

That seems very significant.

It could also be that I'm starved.

Ah.

There is no evidence of any
organic disturbance in Tracy.

[sighs] Well, that's good.

However, the evaluation
in the behavioral area

is not encouraging.

Tracy is still steadfastly insisting

that she's actually seen
and spoken with God,

a delusion that indicates
a real psychosis.

Psychosis?

I'm afraid so.

What Tracy needs is
observation and treatment.

Now, we have a fine place in Santa Barbara

where she'll get expert
care, and before you...

Wait a minute.

You're not actually suggesting that, uh,

that she be put in an
institution, are you?

Mr. Richards, don't
let that word bother you.

A bank is an institution.

A school, a supermarket,
everything is an institution.

The fact of the matter is,

this is a nice, pleasant
controlled environment

with a trained staff.

She'll be much better off there, and,

she has to be there, mm-hmm.

[Don] It's a... kind of ranch

up in Santa Barbara,
sweetheart, only, uh...

Well, the thing is,
you won't have to go up

for at least a couple of days.

[Paula] And you'll be
back before you know it.

- Yeah.
- Don't be so uptight.

I'm not worried at all.

[Paula] Well, that's
a good attitude, honey.

[Don] You're a very
bright young lady, baby.

God would never let them
put me into an institution.

I'm starved. Let's go for lunch.

[All Chanting] Bring back Tracy!

Bring back Tracy! Bring back Tracy!

Bring back Tracy!

Bring back Tracy! Bring back Tracy!

Bring back Tracy!

Bring back Tracy! Bring back Tracy!

Bring back Tracy!

Bring back Tracy!
[protestors shouting]

Benson is right!

Bring back Tracy! Bring back Tracy!

Benson is right! Benson is right!

[Students] Bring back
Tracy! Bring back Tracy!

[gentle music]

[bicycle bell ringing]

God?

God?

Where are you? I need you.

It's been days.

Tomorrow they're putting
me into an institution.

I've been to three
churches and a synagogue.

I've been looking all over for you.

[crickets chirping]

[The Tonight Show theme plays]

From Hollywood,

The Tonight Show starring Johnny Carson.

This is Ed McMahon

along with Doc Severinsen
and the NBC orchestra

inviting you to join Johnny and his guests.

Buddy Hackett, Steve
Lawrence, and Dizzy Gillespie.

And now, ladies and
gentlemen, here's Johnny!

[crowd applauding]

[dart thuds]

Tracy, what's wrong?

I came to say goodbye.

I'm running away.

They're not gonna lock me up.

- Where are you going?
- I don't know, some place.

- I'll be right down.
- Meet me in my garage.

I know the perfect place for you to hide.

[dramatic music]

[tires squeal]

"Dear Mom and Dad,

I'm not going to any funny farm.

Don't worry. I'll be okay.

I love you both.

Remember to feed my goldfish."

[Paula sighs]

Paula, it's all right. We'll find her.

- [sighs] Rosa.
- Rosa, are you okay?

- Fine.
- Listen, is there

- any coffee in the kitchen?
- Yes, of course.

- Would you bring some?
- Sure.

Come on for a second.

[sighs] Don, that poor little kid.

I mean, what could've happened to her?

- Where could she be?
- Paula, it'll be all right.

First thing I think we
should do is call the police.

But it'll be all over the papers.

[chuckles] It already is.

[clock ticking]

[speaking Japanese]

[upbeat rock music playing]

Shingo, where have you been?

I've been looking all over town for you.

I've been out tacking up signs.

Where's Tracy?

Why, is she missing?

Shingo, where's Tracy?

I don't know. I
haven't seen her all day.

Look, pal. You and Tracy are very close.

She tells you everything.

Now, you listen to me.
This is very serious.

I want to know where she is.

[speaking Japanese]

Tracy?

Ringo, ringo.

Ding-a-ding-a-ling.

Shingo. Shingo talk you.

- Thank you.
- Uh-huh.

Hi, Shingo. What's up?

I had to tell your father where you are.

- Why?
- He dragged it out of me.

They're on their way to pick you up.

Thanks, Shingo.

[Announcer On PA] This is the last call

for the Southwest Limited,
Amtrak train number 4,

- Later on, Tommy.
- Departing for Chicago

on track 3.

All aboard!

[cart clattering]

[train whistle blows]

Tracy?

Where have you been?

I've looked all over for you.

Tracy, I'm a very busy man.

My phone never stops ringing.

Running away, that's not like you.

I was scared.

I didn't want to go into
that dumb institution.

It all seemed so hopeless.

So you panicked.

All I was doing was causing trouble.

My parents were so worried about me.

Now they're even more worried.

I guess running away isn't the answer.

Never was.

When you know you're
right, you hang in there.

I suppose I'm not a
member of the club anymore.

No, no, no. The best of them
had their weak moments.

They all struck out a few times.

Don't be so hard on yourself.

Tracy, I'm taking you home.

I want you to.

- You feel better now?
- Yeah.

- Can I ask you a question?
- Go ahead.

Why do you let bad things happen?

You ask very good questions.

You know, Tracy,

things that you might think
are bad are not always bad.

Sometimes there's a purpose
you're not aware of.

But what about sickness?

What about kids my age
who get sick and die?

Those are really bad things, aren't they?

Those are bad things.

Yes, pain and suffering,
that's a hard one to explain.

I'll bet.

I know this sounds like a cop-out,

but there's nothing I can really do

about pain and suffering.

It's built into the system.

- Which you invented.
- Right.

But my problem was,

I never could figure
out how to make anything

- with just one side to it.
- One side?

You ever see a front without a back?

- No.
- A top without a bottom?

- No.
- An up without down?

- No.
- Okay.

And there can't be good without bad,

life without death, pleasure without pain.

That's how it is.

If I take sad away,
happy has to go with it.

If anyone knows another way,

I wish they'd put it
in the suggestion box.

I guess someday I'll understand.

If you do, you'll be the first.

Some things can't be grasped.

What's the end?

The end of time?

The end of the universe?

Even Einstein flunked that one.

You talk to me like I'm grown up.

I like that.

Good. Let's get going.

In a half hour, you'll be in your own bed.

A half hour?

But you got to my room from
the Carson show in one second.

Tracy, that works for me.

For you, I'll have to do it the hard way.

And there it is.

[engine starts]

Wow! I'm going to like this.

Come on, let's go.

Have you ever been on one of these?

- No.
- Neither have I, hang on.

[revving motor]

[brakes squeak]

[gleeful music]

- Having fun, Tracy?
- Yeah!

Wow, this is terrific!

[Tracy giggles]

[engines start]

[sirens blaring]

Here come the police!

Hold on!

Wow!

[God laughing]
Wee!

Did you see what I saw?

No driver, just a passenger?

That's right.

- No report on this one.
- No way.

[sighs] We must have just missed her.

Paula, it's all right.

The police are gonna find her.

Look, why don't I stay over,
in case we hear something?

Don, there's a light in Tracy's room.

- [Don] Tracy?
- [Paula] Tracy?

Tracy! Where were you, darling?

- What happened?
- Baby, are you all right?

- Yeah.
- Well, how did you get home?

God brought me home on his motorcycle.

Well, that's...

That's just wonderful, sweetheart.

Come on, get some sleep now.

Okay.

- Good night, button.
- Good night.

And don't worry, I'm not afraid
of that institution anymore.

Well...

We'll talk about it in the
morning, Tracy. Good night.

Good morning. I'm Hugh Downs.

I've been broadcasting now for
a little over four decades,

and I have never seen a phenomenon

like the one that's going on today.



from west Los Angeles,
California, Tracy Richards,

decided to write "Think
God" on this sidewalk.

And she got some of her
school friends to help her out.

And this thing has really spread,

on fences,

on bumper stickers,

and look at this,

[dog panting]

And this.

And if you think that's
something, there is more.

London...

[Reporter] From Buckingham
Palace to Piccadilly square,

everywhere Londoners go today,

they are reminded by signs to "Think God."

- Paris...
- [reporter speaking French]

Tokyo...
[reporter speaking Japanese]

Cairo...
[reporter speaking Arabic]

Now here is noted psychologist
Dr. Joyce Brothers.

I think we should keep an open mind.

If there isn't a God,
I'd like to point out

that those children who
easily engage in fantasy,

who've had an imaginary playmate
or an imaginary companion,

actually do better in dealing
with the crises of life

than those who didn't.

And if there is a God,

I believe Tracy Richards saw
him and actually spoke to him.

Strangely, children often have

a firmer grip on reality than most adults.

And, as the Old Testament says,

"And a little child shall lead them."

Well, now we know the reason.

The churches are full, but
the classrooms are empty.

Yes, when Tracy Richards
was expelled from school,

it set off a citywide student strike.

It also set off bitter confrontation

between superintendent
of schools Jeffrey Hodges

and Dr. Jerome Newell,

the psychiatrist in whose
care Tracy has been placed.

The superintendent wants
her back in school,

but Dr. Newell says no.

The case is being heard by
Judge Thomas Miller today.

Your Honor, we're in a crisis.

As superintendent of schools,
it's my responsibility

to get the children back into class.

I want a court order to
force Dr. Newell here

to release Tracy Richards from his care.

Superintendent Hodges
is wrong, Your Honor.

The girl does not belong in school.

She's suffering from delusions.

She belongs in a place where
she can get care and treatment.

Children imagine lots of things.

Our whole school system is paralyzed

because of the personal
opinion of one man.

It reduces me in saying
so, I don't intend to rely

on the personal opinion of one man, sir.

Now, before I issue a
court order, Dr. Newell,

I'd like you to do something for me.

I'd like you to convene a panel

of top psychiatrists in this city

and have them give a thorough examination

to this poor little girl,
Tracy Richards, is it?

Tracy Richards.

And then, when they've
made their conclusions,

I'll make my decision.

[bells chiming]

Yes, I met him in my dad's car.

He came through the television set.

He gave me an ice
cream cone, cherry jubilee.

We had lunch at McDonald's.

And I'll say it again,

he brought me home on his motorcycle.

[sighs] Dr. Whitley,
there is one question

I would like to ask.

I think there have been
enough questions, Doctor.

Mr. and Mrs. Richards,

is there anything that you'd like to add?

Well, what can we say?

No. We'd like to do
whatever's best for Tracy.

Would the three of you mind stepping

into the waiting room, please?

Carl...

Well, it's very evident what
we're dealing with here.

And I might add, Dr. Newell,

that you've done your usual thorough job.

- Thank you.
- May I bring up a point?

Before we vote, I'd like to remind you

that, [sighs] there's a
great deal of sympathy

for that little girl.

And there are a great many
children out of school.

Now, our profession is gonna be

under a tremendous amount pressure.

Well, we can't give in to that.

No, we can't give in to that.

No, we can't.

If we let her run around
with her delusions,

what do we do about the patient
who thinks he's Napoleon?

Certainly if she's right,
then, we're all wrong.

No, the, uh, the girl
belongs in an institution.

Now, are there any objections?

No? Then that's settled.

Carl, would you bring
them back in, please?

[Carl] They're ready.

Now, Tracy, we've all
decided that you need help.

And, believe me, it's
in your best interest.

And the chances are that
you won't be there for long.

And if you look at it in a positive way,

I'm sure that you...
[door opens]

- What?
- It's him. It's God.

Sorry I'm late.

I, um, I want to apologize to
my distinguished colleagues.

I would've been here sooner,
but I was held up in traffic.

Excuse me, sir. Who are you?

Dr. Stevens.

[Dr. Whitley] I don't
recall your being invited.

If I waited to be invited,

I'd miss a lot of important things.

However, in this case,
I think you're mistaken.

But your name's not
on the list. Yes, it is.

[doctors murmuring]

Ladies and gentlemen, we're
all learned psychiatrists.

What did this little girl
do that was so terrible?

She got a lot of children together,

they all wrote "Think God,"

and the whole world is thinking God.

Is that so bad?

But, sir, as a learned psychiatrist,

you ought to know that
that's not the point.

This little girl claims that
not only did she see God

and speak to him, but
he spoke to her as well.

Who are we in this room
to say that she didn't?

Maybe she did.

Maybe she didn't.

Look, sir, we've all voted.

I know that, Dr. Whitley.

And you said if she's
right, then we're all wrong.

[doctors murmuring]

How did you know I said that?

- I also read tea leaves.
- [doctors scoffing]

Look, what is all this?

I mean, we are competent professionals.

We know our business.

We have been over this case
backwards and forwards,

and we have made our decision.

I wouldn't want this to get around,

but, if we're all so competent,

so right in all our methods and theories,

how is it that there are

so many people still in
institutions who never get out?

But that's a situation
that is beyond our control.

There are many people will
never be able to distinguish

between reality and illusion.

But we have to remember that
sometimes it's very difficult

to determine what is reality
and what is illusion.

For instance, the, uh, the chandelier...

Now, that's reality.

We all looked up, we all saw it,

we all know it's there.

But is it?

[all gasping]
[murmuring]

[Woman] Where'd it
go? I can't believe...

Oh, my God.

It is God!

[God] What's the illusion,
and what's the reality?

Did the chandelier disappear or not?

We're all intelligent people.

Did we see it, or didn't we see it?

Maybe that little girl
did see and talk with God.

Where is it written that
Moses had an exclusive?

Just because we haven't spoken to God

doesn't mean that she hasn't.

Look, I don't know what
the hell is going on here!

I don't know who you are!

Maybe you're a magician or a hypnotist.

But there are some
things that I am sure of.

I know that we're all psychiatrists here.

I know my name is
Benjamin Charles Whitley.

I know have four children.

I know pay $2,200 a month alimony.

I know this is the UCLA medical center,

and I know that it is now
precisely 11:30 in the morning.

Doctor, are you sure it's morning?

[all gasping]
[murmuring]

[angelic music]

Doctor, you're right.

It is 11:30 in the morning.

[angelic music]

I know we're all anxious to get home,

but before we judge Tracy,

shouldn't we all be a little
more sure of ourselves?

If we went out now and told everybody

that we saw day turn into
night and night turn into day,

they'd throw us out of school, too.

So maybe Tracy did see God.

Maybe you're seeing him right now.

Maybe you're not.

Think about it.

Give it some thought.

[doctor gasping]
[murmuring]

[Don's breath trembling]

If you'll excuse us, we're
gonna take Tracy home now.

We've got to get her ready
for school in the morning.

Come on, baby.

[both sighing]

[clears throat] I,

I don't know whether any
of us here understand

what really happened here,

but I'm inclined to think

that it might be a very good idea

if we keep it to ourselves.

[All] Yeah.

[sighing] Very well, then.

The case of Tracy Richards is closed.

- Thank God.
- [God] You're welcome.

[soft music]
[family laughing]

- To the three of us.
- Ah!

How about a little kiss, huh? Hmm?

- Thank you.
- How about one over here?

Oh, with pleasure. [chuckles]

Reconciliations are
more fun than weddings.

[cookies clattering]

Excuse me. I'll be right back.

Where you going?

I'm just gonna go into
the lounge for a second.

Oh.

Well, don't be too long, Tracy, huh?

Your egg foo young will get cold.

Okay.

[God] Come in, Tracy.

I was waiting for the
door to open by itself.

I'm sorry. I forgot.

You see, Tracy? Everything worked out.

It sure did.

And it's real neat

the way you got my parents
back together again.

No, no. They did that by themselves.

Aw, come on. I bet you
arranged the whole thing.

Honest to me, I didn't.

Tracy, the reason I called you,

I want to thank you and all the children

for the wonderful job you did.

Will I ever see you again?

Oh, if I ever have a real big problem,

you'll be the first one I'll call.

You don't need me, you're God.

You don't need anybody.

God needs everyone.

I need all the help I can get.

Goodbye, Tracy.

Go ahead, Tracy.

There's nothing worse
than cold egg foo young.

[sentimental music]

[angelic music]