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Gift, The (2015)

Posted: 01/26/24 19:24
by bunniefuu
(BIRDS CHIRPING)

SIMON: Hi,
you must be Casey?

CASEY: Yes, I am. Hello.

SIMON: How you doing? Simon.
CASEY: Hi, Simon.

My wife, Robyn.
Sorry we kept you waiting.

CASEY: No, it's no problem.

SIMON: It was a little tough
getting up here, but...

Yeah?
We made it.

But worth it.
Yeah.

Look at the koi
pond in the entryway.

I absolutely
think it is fantastic.

SIMON: But no fish?

No fish. You have
to bring your own fish.

This is a mid-century modern home.
Right.

And so it has a very open floor plan.
Mmm-hmm.

Lots of light, which
I love myself, personally.

And this fireplace, oversized fireplace.
Mmm.

So what brings you
to California then?

Well, I've got a new job.

Oh, congratulations.
Yeah. Very excited.

CASEY: So you guys
are from Chicago?

SIMON: My wife is. I actually grew
up a little bit south of here.

We are making a fresh start.

CASEY: So there's your office.

Hmm?

It's not exactly what we're looking for,
but kind of interesting, right?

Good view?

You like it?
What do you think?

Yeah.
Yeah.

Mmm-hmm.

Stupid sop.

You want to see the bedrooms?

Yeah, I'm gonna have a look.

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)

A quick shop, and then...

No, no, then we'll
get it done really fast.

A quick shop,
and then the store's closed.

Yeah, because
what time does the...

Okay.

How is your day today?
It's good.

All righty. Is that
all for you today then?

Except for one thing my wife's
going to bring down soon, I hope.

(CHUCKLES) No problem.
I'll just look for a delivery date then.

Yeah, please,
and is the end of today too ambitious?

It's late, isn't it?
Yeah, our truck already passed.

Tomorrow work?
I have a window from, like, 7:00 to 9:00?

Sounds good to me.

Hey, excuse me.

Hi.
Hi.

(STAMMERING)
I'm sorry to bother you.
I'm... I think I know you.

Yeah? I'm sorry,
I don't... Can't place you.

Is your name Simon?
Simon Callem?

Yeah, Simon. Hi.

How do we know each other?

I thought...
We went to school together.

Really? Huh.
Yeah.

Which one? Fairmount...
Fairmount Park.

Really.
Yeah.

Same grade?
What year did you graduate?

Hey, honey.

Excuse me, one second.

They close in 15 minutes.
Okay, sure. We will rush.

This is my wife, Robyn.
This is... I didn't catch your name, sorry.

Gordon Mosley. Gordo.
Hi. Gordon.

Robyn.
Gordo?

Right.
Wow! Buddy, I did not recognize you.

Gordon Mosley.

Oh, my gosh, honey.
Gordo and I went to school together like...

I don't know, what, 80 years ago?
Really?

My God. Wow!
Almost.

CASHIER: Sorry, excuse me, I just...
You look very different.

Yes, sorry.
...need your address, for the...

SIMON: Oh, Yeah.
32 Castlewood.

That is so crazy.
SIMON: Just one word.

We just moved here from Chicago.

Oh. Great city.

So he's moved home then?

Well.
Well, almost home.

Close to.
Close to, not quite.

You're going to love it.
Yeah.

You know.
Well, yeah.

We have to get going,
but we... We should...

Why don't you get Gordo's phone number?
Sure.

And we'll call and
we'll catch up, right?

We've got a lot
of ground to cover.

Right?
ROBYN: Great, that's perfect.

Here, do you want to...
All right.

Gordo, I'm so sorry
we don't have time to catch up.

It's here.

Great.

But life good though?

Yeah, you know,
I can't complain.

That's great to hear.
You know? Yes.

Really, really good to see you.
I'm glad you said hi.

See you.
Okay. We'll call you.

Nice to meet you, Robyn.

Good to meet you too.

Super awkward.
Whole first half of the conversation,

I had no idea
who that guy was.

Really?
Yeah.

Seemed like a nice guy.

Yeah.

(DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE)

(BABY COOING)

WOMAN: We're not going
to be late. Stop worrying.

MAN: I'm not worrying.
Hey. Hi.

Hello.
Hi.

Lucy and Ron.

Hi. I'd be Ron.

Robyn.
(CHUCKLES)

Welcome to the neighborhood.

Thank you.
Are you settling in okay?

Yeah.

If you want to come by for a cup
of tea or a glass of wine, you know,

I'm here all the time, so...
Sounds good.

Okay. Good to meet you.
Take care.

Bye.
(BABY CRYING)

Sweetie, hold on a second.

I'll be right there.

(DOORBELL RINGS)

(DOORBELL RINGS)

(DOG BARKING)

SIMON: Hi.
Hi.

House looks nice.

Oh. Yeah.

Is that it right there?
Yeah.

Go, take a look.
Wait, here, this is the note.

"Welcome home,"
smiley face, "Gordo."

How did he get our address?

I have no idea.

I suppose we should thank him.

(CHUCKLES)

(MUFFLED) Okay, okay.

She's beautiful.

Oh, thank you.

What? You are.

You want to say
hi to Robyn?

Oh.
You want to go say hi?
Here you go.

Thank you.
(BOTH CHUCKLE)

(BABY COOING)

Hey. It's okay.
Shh. Hey.

Hi. Hi.

You're a natural.

Do you want one?

Yeah.

We're trying.

I was pregnant, actually,
last year, in Chicago.

It wasn't a very happy ending.

It sent me into
a bit of a rough patch.

I will bore you with the
details some other time.

ROBYN: Yeah, no, I revised
the plan to include the open staircase.

If you want, my assistant is in Chicago.
She can get you a hard copy.

Okay. Great.

Oh.
Hi.

Hello.
Gordo.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yes.
Gordo, hi.

Yeah.
Yeah.

Hi.

Hey, Gordo, how are you?
How are you?

Hi.
It's nice to see you.

Oh, hello.

Hi. How you doing?

Good. How are you?

Good. Yeah.
Yeah.

Is Simon home?

No. He's at work.
Yeah, setting up the new office.

Oh.

Hey. Thank you
for the lovely gift.

That was very sweet,

but I'm sure that you
spoke to Simon about that.

Uh...

Well, he might have
left me a message.

Oh. Well, maybe we wrote
the number down wrong.

Well, you see
I made you a list.

Local people, like plumbers, gardeners, maids...
Uh-huh.

All that good stuff.
That's very considerate.

Thank you.

And that's me.

There you are. Gordo.

Oh, and...

Here you go. Yeah.
What is it? Glass cleaner?

For cleaning glass.
Right.

I saw how much you had.
Yeah.

There you go.
Thank you.

Welcome.

Very sweet of you.
Thanks, Gordo.

I gotta say,
I really, I love this house.

You do? Huh.
Wow.

Yeah, I really like
this style of architecture.

Well, you should come in
and take the tour then.

I'm sure Simon
will be back soon.

Come on in.
Oh, all right.

Yeah. Come on in.
Sure?

Yeah. It's fine.
Okay.

He's so excited not to be
cooped up in a condo anymore.

That's the laundry
room slash Jangles' room.

Down there is some storage.

That is going to
be Simon's office.

Bedroom, or studio
for me, I'm hoping.

And in here is the...

Oh, yeah. I was just
sorting all that stuff out.

Hmm.

Yeah, I know.
It was a gift and then it turned out that

Simon has a phobia of monkeys
from when he was a kid.

He's like, terrified.
I have to get rid of it.
You want it?

Do you have a baby?

No. No.

Just the dog, for now.
Mr. Bojangles, after the song.

I'm going to move that stuff around
the back there and then plant

and, I don't know,
maybe fill a pond here up with fish,

since it's just sitting there, and yeah...
(TIMER RINGING)

I mean that's pretty much it.

It's going to come up looking real nice.
It's already great.

Thank you.

I should go
and check on that.

In fact,
there's plenty of food.

I'm not that great a cook,

but why don't I
check in with Simon,

and maybe we can
all eat together?

Oh, I don't want to...

Yeah.

Hey, it's me.

I'm cooking, believe it or not,
and we have a guest.

Call me.

Well. Good.

You know, I often think about
this person from school

and that person from school.
Yeah?

About what are they up to,
what are they doing, and I often...

But I always knew that Simon

would be one of those people

who would make
something of himself.

You have. Clearly,
you have. And you did.

I mean,
I'm very happy for you.

Thank you.
I am. I'm very happy for you.

Want a little more?

Oh, please.

No problem.

GORDO: So you never see
anybody from high school?

What about Greg?
Greg Pierson.

No, I really,
I haven't talked to anybody
since the day we graduated.

You want more pasta?

Oh, no, I'm fine.
You sure?

You were such good friends.

Not sure he needs
any more of that.

Really?
Yeah.

Okay.

So, Simon, Robyn says that
you work in security systems.

Yeah, security for
large corporations.

Like in, you know,
information protection.

Yeah. Complicated stuff.

Complicated?
Yeah, but I only sell it.

I don't know how to use it.
(GORDO CHUCKLES)

We're developing more
and more for personal use,

not just the corporate sector.

Kind of widening out.

And what do you
think about this

whole government
thing of, you know,

listening in to people's
private information?

I mean, that's crazy stuff.
SIMON: Who knows?

I mean, f*ck them,
you know?

An eye for an eye, I say.

Yeah.

Anyway, this is a conversation for another time.
SIMON: Mmm-hmm.

But speaking of government,

did you know that
Simon was class president?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I did.

Mr. President.

Please, people
will think he's...

He had a very
organized campaign, "Simon Says."

Like the children's game.

Well, his campaign
was based around the game,

so Simon says,
and it would happen.

"I will make it happen."
Simon says, "More time for sports."

Simon says, "More
choice in the cafeteria."

And it happens.

She gets it.
You got it, right?

So is it, do you have,
like, a poster?

Posters. Leaflets.

Buttons.
Buttons?

Parades...

Simon says,
"New job." Right?

Simon says, "Beautiful
wife and a new home." Aww.

Well, see? Should have
no problems starting a family.

Because Simon says.

My God, I had
one too many wines.

No.
I just talk way too much then.

No.
No, I talked too much.

What's happened to you since high school?
Everything good?

Military.

Yeah.
SIMON: Really?

Yeah, it's true.
Military, straight out of school.

Two tours,
and then I got out of there,

and just ended up
doing a lot of things.

But, I mean, a whole lot has happened
to me since we last saw each other.

Some good, some bad, like life.
You know, mostly good.

But, you know,
I believe that a lot of the good

could come from the bad, you know?
I hear you.

If you put the right
faith behind it, you know?

Not to bring
religion into it, God,

but just to say that the bad things,
they can be a gift.

Absolutely. And that's just
the way I like to see things.

Yeah, that's good.

Hey, I'm very happy for you.

Thank you very much.

I am. Very, very,
very happy for you and...

So I'd like to make a toast.

Simon says a toast.
(BOTH CHUCKLE)

Gordo says a toast.
Gordo says a toast.

To old friends and...

New ones.
New friends.

Thank you.

Are you okay?

Yeah. Yeah, sorry,
I was just thinking.

You know, it's so amazing
how some people change

so much after high school
and some just stay exactly the same.

You know what I mean?
I feel kind of bad for him.

Did he seem right to you?
That guy is odd.

He is a little socially awkward,

but, I mean,
I can be that way.

I think that guy's delusional.

He thinks we're friends.

The whole thing just has me
very uncomfortable, but...

Okay.

It was just one
dinner and it's over.

No one's saying you
have to do it again.

I just feel bad.
Yeah.

Can I have that sponge, please?

Aren't you forgetting something?

Simon says.

(LAUGHS)

No.

...introduce you to some
of the members of the team.

You might recognize your new bosses.
SIMON: Hi.

They wanted to be here
to welcome you in person,

but they are in Tokyo
looking to expand the empire.

Danny!
How are you?

Simon, this is Danny McDonald.
Hello.

Hi.
He runs Legal.

Simon. This is
my wife, Robyn.

Robyn, hi.
And his lovely wife, Gina.

It's Janine, actually,
but she'll answer to anything.

Great.

Guys, let me bring you
through to meet my wife.

Nice to meet you guys.
Good to see you, Danny.

Hey, so this... Guys,
this is my wife. Duffy.
Hi.

Hi. I've heard
so much about you.

Hi there,
Duffy, my wife, Robyn.

Hello, Robyn.
Hello, you're so pretty.

Hi, there.
And this is, of course, Wendy Dale.

She's spearheading
Mergers and Acquisitions.

Can I grab two
of those? Here.

Let's kick this party off with a
toast here to welcome the new blood.

I don't actually...
She's the designated driver, so...

I'm so sorry.
I'll take it.
Two for me.

Or you can take it.
There we go.

What do you do, Robyn?

She's a brilliant
designer, right?

Tell them. Brag.
Brag a little bit.

She's very, very good.

No, I freelance
a little for consulting firms.

She's being modest.

She was running
a big firm in Chicago,

which is happening
online for the moment,

and she's designing the interiors of
the home we just moved into right now.

That's a big job.
Yeah. Great. Great.

We're also very busy working on
trying to start a family,

and that takes a lot of time.
WOMAN: Oh.

MAN: Congratulations.
Yeah.

Oh.

What do you think?

Very nice.
Isn't it?

Yeah.
You should see upstairs.

You should see Kevin's
office. That's nice.

Uh-huh.
But this is, it's pretty great.

Yeah. Here they are.

I cannot believe these
guys are your bosses.

You are my boss, honey.
Let's be clear.

These guys just run
the billion dollar company I work for.

You know they've been multimillionaires
since they were teenagers? Mmm-hmm.

Crazy.

Yeah, once upon a time,
the crusty old men ran the companies

and the teenagers
were down in the mail room.

And now it's
the total opposite.

But I'm going to make it
upstairs before I'm too old,

as long as Kevin
sticks to his plan

of moving on at
the end of the year.

Then I get a little bit of consulting
expertise from you, I'll be all set.

Keep growing the beard.
Start wearing sneakers to work.

Maybe get a tattoo.
Yeah.

All good ideas.

I'd look good in
those glasses, I think.

Hey, do you really not
want me to go back to work?

Are you still worried?
That's not what I said.

No?
No.

You know, we moved
to the suburbs and...

Yeah. For a fresh start.

Honey, I want you to do
whatever you want to do.

As long as you
stay healthy,

you can open an office
in every major city in the world.

I want you to start rebuilding the
business. You know, what do I care?

I just don't want you
to be stressed, honey,

because that's when those
other things can happen. Yeah?

Especially if you really
want to start a family.

ROBYN: Okay.

SIMON: Did it sound that bad?
ROBYN: No.

No, I'm just being silly.

Let's get back to the party.

SIMON: Okay.

SIMON: They're charming. Right?
Yeah.

And they'll probably have good
dirty jokes every once in a while.

What have we got?

Here.

Uh-oh.
"Thanks for a lovely dinner.

"Return the favor."
No.

"Hope you don't mind."

Smiley face.

Fish food.

(CHUCKLES)

Oh.

Oh, no.

Well, we have to
thank him this time.

For what? Coming onto
our property without asking?

No. This is
not troubling to you?

I really don't think
that he meant it to be troubling.

He wouldn't see it
like that, he just...

He just thinks he's
giving us some fish.

You know, they used to
call him Weirdo in school.

Gordo the Weirdo.

That's not very nice.

Everybody had a name.

I was Simple Simon.

Yeah. Kids.

Kids are mean.

Kids are honest.

Why do you get
a name like Weirdo?

Hmm?

Well, I think that
he's misunderstood.

Maybe.
Mmm.

It's not our job to
figure out what he is.

Sure.

I can tell you
he's a reverse thief.

Breaking in to give us something?
It's not very bright.

Right. Mmm-hmm.

I hope his next gift
is a sushi knife for those fish.

(LAUGHS)

You got a new friend.

Ha-ha.

Someone's got a buddy.

Mmm-hmm.

(SIGHS)

(JANGLES BARKING)

Hi. I was in the area.
I was wondering, is... Oh.

Hey.

Is Simon home?

No. He's at work. Yeah.

I wanted to call you, actually,

to say thank you
for what you did.

The fish are beautiful.
Really beautiful. Thank you.

Well, ask and thou
shall receive, huh, Mr. Bojangles?

You know, most people think
that Sammy Davis Jr. or Nina Simone

wrote Mr. Bojangles,
but it's actually written by a guy

called Jerry Jeff Walker
who hardly anybody knows about.

Really?
Yeah.

Did not know that.

My dad named him, actually.

Well.
Yeah.

I was just about to make a pot of tea.
Do you drink tea?

Yeah.
Well, come in.

You can leave a note for Simon.

Okay.

I guess I speak to
some girls from high school,

the ones I was closest to.

Most of them, most of them
have children now.

Yep, that ought to do it.

Right, let's see.

MAN: Forty percent less
than the big-box guys!
Hey.

Choose your favorite way
to save even more...

Simon's going to
love you for this.

...save 25% in finance,
interest free for 24 months,

or save 20% in financing,
interest free for 36 months.

What do you usually
watch at this hour?

(LAUGHS) Oh, nothing.
I should be working.

Like, really,
I should get back to work.

Oh, of course. Sorry.

Thank you though.
Really, so much for this.

It's a pleasure.
You know, they really make it seem,

you know, far more complicated
than it really should be.

Hey, leave that.
I will do it.

No, it's fine, really. Really.
You've already done too much.

Where do these live?

In the drawer
under the microwave.

Oh.

And the trash goes...

Trash goes outside.

Normally, friendships
grow organically.

And if they don't
serve both parties,

they just kind of
organically dissipate.

Yeah, that'd be great.
(ALL LAUGHING)

What you're talking about is,
you know, an asymmetric thing.

A one-sided friendship?

I mean, essentially
you're being forced into a breakup.

Yeah.
No. No.

Although no, no, no.
To be fair, this guy actually sounds like an asset,

so I think you should
let him finish the house

and finish the garden and then
you cut the f*cking guy loose.

You know what,
I actually think he's nice.

And he's been very generous.

So then he saw the thing
that you wrote and then, what?

Yeah. So get
this for confusing.

After he'd supposedly been offended
by what I wrote on the board,

he calls us a few
hours later on the phone

and he invites us
to a dinner party.

At his house.
RON: Alone?

No. With another couple.

Well, surely you're not going
to accept the invitation.

After the whole insult thing,
I'm surprised he wants you around at all.

Unless he wants to chop
you guys up with an axe.

Yeah. Maybe he
didn't see what you wrote.

No, I'm pretty sure that he did.

Maybe he doesn't care.

Or he cares more about...

To not worry about it.

In this guy's defense,
she is way too nice, right?

DUFFY: Yes.
You two know that.

You're a bit of a
door-half-open kind of person?

I love you for it,
but you know.

You could just politely decline,

and then not offer
another alternative.

But he would offer
an alternative, you know?

He'll keep coming around
and around and around, so...

So basically, eventually,
you two need to have a conversation.

That's what I'm thinking.
That's why I'm considering it.

I think you guys
should be careful.

Yeah.
I wouldn't accept.

No. Me neither.

Well, I for one, would love to know
what happens if you do go.

Stop it.

As I said, I doubt we will.

(CONSOLE BEEPING)

Let's just try to
have a nice time, okay?

Yeah.

Holy shit.

Wow.

Got the right address, huh?

ROBYN: Yeah. I think so.

SIMON: Ridiculous.

Guess we're first, too.

ROBYN: Yeah.

Hi.

Hi.
Hi.

Got you something.
Oh.

Yeah.
Wow. Thank you.

Good to see you.
Come on in.

Robyn, you look lovely.
Thank you.

This is some place you've got.

Wow. Yeah.
It is something.

Very impressive.
Good for you, Gordo.

Gosh. Got a fire.

What an incredible place.

So, hey, take a seat,
and why don't...

Let's have a drink.
SIMON: What's this?

Oh, that's a gift.
That's for you.

Huh.

What did you get?

Ooh. Great movie.

Apocalypse Now, huh?
Yeah.

It's going to be great
on your speaker system.

When The Ride of
the Valkyries comes on,

it's going to
sound like the choppers

are going from left
to right. Like...

(MIMICS HELICOPTERS WHIRRING)

You know,
around the room, see?

Yeah.

That's going to be amazing.
Thank you so much.

So, I guess Simon, red wine?

Yes, please.
Right.

Robyn? You don't drink?

No. I don't.
Water's fine?

I got juice?
Oh, no, water's fine.

Gatorade?
No, water is fine.

Okay.

So the other couple,
do we know them?

Are they friends of yours?
Yeah.

Yeah, they just
literally canceled.

They had a babysitter,
I guess. She...

Lined up,
and then she fell through.

So it's just us three.
Or is your wife going to join us?

Are you married?

I don't know if I ever asked you
if you were married.

That's a long story.
I forgot crackers.

Yeah, that's a long story.
The short version is no.

(PHONE RINGS)
Crackers.

Not married.

GORDO: Hello?
Okay.

What do you want?

I'm with, uh, people.

That salami looks good, huh?

Hey, be nice.
He's made an effort.

I'm really sorry.

That's an urgent work thing.

I'm going to have to step
out for a couple of minutes,

but it's not
going to take me long.

I'll literally be less than five minutes.
Less than that.

Can you just relax?
Have a drink?

I'll be back as soon
as I can, I'm sorry.

(DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)

Gordo?

Did he just leave us here?

(CAR ENGINE STARTS)

Yeah.
Yeah, I think he did.

Is his car...
He's leaving us alone in his house?

(CAR DRIVES AWAY)
He doesn't even know us.

Yeah, well...
What?

Maybe it's an emergency.
(LAUGHS)

Well, he did say it
was an urgent work thing.

What is it that he even does?
This is... This is...

Bizarre...
Would we ever do this?

Well, no, but technically
I would be at home to

look after guests if you
had to go somewhere.

He hasn't got anyone, a wife or...
Honey, don't defend him.

Or whatever.

I'll tell you why he
doesn't have a wife.

He'd like to be married to you.

He'd like you to be his wife.

Oh, God, Simon.
Yep.

Come on, honey.
This guy likes you so much.
Tell me you don't see it.

Come on. I really don't think
that is the reason why.

Come on, honey.

Why all the drop
in's and the stop by's

only when you're home alone?

Look at this thing.
Good Lord.

I think you're
slightly exaggerating.

I think he's
obsessed with you, honey.

I think he wants to nail you.

I think he wants to be me,

wants to move into the house...
Stop it.

He wants to play mommies
and daddies with you,

the creepy little fucker.

Simon, don't be crass.

I'm Gordo the Weirdo.

And I want to make crazy,
weird love to you,

with my creepy,

with my creepy little
pee-pee pleasey-weasy.

Put it away.
I'm Gordo the Weirdo

and I want you all to myself.
I don't like it. No.

Can I have you?
No.

Can I have you, please?
Why not?
No, no! Please!

Why not?
Because you're disgusting.

He is disgusting.

Disgusting and weird.

Let's just check this place out.
Come on. Come on.

(SIGHS)

Okay.

Simon?

Simon, he could come back any second.
What are you doing?

He's not married, huh?

(SIGHS)

Maybe it's just
his spring stuff.

Look, I think we should go
back downstairs

before he comes back.
What have we got down here?

Simon?
(WATER BUBBLING FAINTLY)

You hear that?
What is it?

SIMON: Ugh, monkeys.

He's a dad?

Hmm.

Shit, shit. Shit, shit.

Wait, wait! Simon!

(DOOR OPENS)

(DOOR CLOSES)

Drink some of your drink.
What?

Hey.
Hi.

Everything okay?

Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah?

That was, yeah,
I'm sorry about that.

Yeah, what was that?
That was...
Yeah, what happened?

Don't worry about it.

SIMON: Hey, what is it
that you do?

I mean, the reason that you left.
The work thing.

I don't think I've
ever asked you that.

What is it that you...
What do you actually do?

What do you do to
afford all of this?

Simon.

Are you not curious?

I'm afraid that
you've caught me in a lie.

A lie?

I wasn't dealing
with a work thing.

I was out
speaking to my ex-wife,

who recently left me.

Actually, a couple of days before
I saw you at the Homeware store.

And we have a couple of beautiful children,
and she's taken both of them.

And I don't really mention it because
it makes me very upset

and I don't really know
what's going to happen.

And obviously
I really want
to make it work

and I don't really
know what the chances are.

And, technically,
this is her home,

her family home,
so it's their money.

And at the moment,
she holds all the cards

so when she says jump,
I have to...

Jump.

Jump. Um...

Which is why I went out there
to speak to her on the phone,

because I didn't want you both

to hear the conversation
which gets a little heated.

And just
listening to me speak,

I feel very
embarrassed right now.

I'm sorry.

Well, don't be embarrassed.

It's really okay.

Well, I lied to you.

Listen, hey, why don't we,
why don't we eat?

Well, I...
Yes, sure.

Actually why don't... I think you
and I should have a little talk.

Honey, can you give us
a couple of minutes, please?

Here.

Can you just go wait
out in the car for me, please?

Just give me like five minutes,
I'll be right out.

Then we're going to go home, okay?
Okay.

ROBYN: I'm so sorry.

This is...
Is everything okay because...

Yeah. Hang on one second.

(DOOR OPENS)

So this is a very, very...

There's no easy
way to say this.

Well, I mean,
just say whatever...

Don't interrupt me,
because I gotta power right through it

and then you can talk
right afterwards, okay?

Okay.

I think that we would prefer
that you don't visit us anymore.

You know, you
should take some time

with this thing that
you just told us about.

That's heavy stuff,
you know? This is...

Honey?

Please, can you just give
us a couple of minutes?

Okay.
Thank you.

Two minutes.

(DOOR CLOSES)

SIMON: Okay, I did it.

(CAR ENGINE STARTS)

Sometimes you just gotta
rip off the Band-Aid, right?

Come on.

Is this guy playing games?

Oh, come on.
(HORN HONKS)

Should I...

Open the g*dd*mn gate.

Okay, Simon.
Wait here.

Simon, hold on, maybe he'll...

Si.

You okay?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Pardon me, one second.

Honey, is everything all right?

I'm right in the middle of a...

Are you serious?

Don't touch them,

and don't touch the water.

ROBYN: Jangles is gone.

I've been looking.
I can't find him anywhere.

That son of a b*tch.

Son of a b*tch. All right,
I'll be right back.

Hi.
Hi.

I need to speak to Gordo.

I think you have the wrong house.
No, no.

I got the right place.
I just need to speak to him, please.

Speak to who?
Gordo. Your husband.

Gordon.
Get him down here.

My husband's name is Mike.

Mike?

MILLS: Okay.
I got that, yeah.

Okay.

The dog's tag
says Mr. Bojangles?

Like the song?

Yeah.
But he responds to Jangles.

Hmm.

So they knew him.

Well, the husband
did, Mr. Ryan.

He has a fleet of
limousines and cars

for an executive transport service
business type thing or what not,

and he leased
a car to Mr. Mosley.

Now Mr. Ryan says
that Mr. Mosley

actually had
access to his garage

so that he could pick up
and return a Cadillac,

which is probably how he
gained access to the main house,

and why he knew the Ryans
were on vacation in CancĂșn.

But I assume he won't be
working as a driver anymore.

They could press more
serious charges if they wanted.

Um, the dog is what
I'm concerned with.

Yeah, it really could just be that
it's a new neighborhood for him

and we did leave the gate open.
No. No.

Who k*lled the fish then, honey?

He took the dog, I think.
Pretty sure he took the dog.

Well, you know,
that's a tricky one

because I can go there and see him,
but that's not the problem.

You know where he lives?
We can find that out.

But the problem is,
I just can't go there

and look inside
without a warrant.

And to get a warrant,
I need proof of some kind,

which neither of us have.
Well...

Which just leaves me
with that awkward task

of paying him a visit and asking,
"Did you take the dog?"

and asking him did he take
the dog means that,

well, he's going
to know who sent me.

(DOOR OPENS IN DISTANCE)

Hello?

(WATER RUNNING)

Well, I mean, if you think
he's a threat or whatever,

I'm happy to go over
there and take a look.

No. No, really.
It's nothing.

Do you think he would
actually do this though?

I mean, take your dog?

I really don't want to
believe that he would.

But who knows?
Like I said,

it's probably all in my head.

I mean, I have been
having trouble sleeping.

(BABY CRYING)

Thank you,
but I don't want to impose.

I should go.
Hey. Don't be silly.

It's fine.
You're not imposing.

You're a welcome
distraction, honestly.

Have some coffee and
I'll check on her. I'll be back.

Thank you.
Sure.

Can I use your bathroom?

(FAINT TINKLING)

Hey? Simon?

Hey.

(JANGLES BARKS)

Hey.

Hey.

I think it's him.
I think he's messing with us.

Where have you been?

Hey.

GORDO: Dear Robyn and Simon,

I guess I owe you
both an apology.

It seems I have
misjudged our situation.

Please know that I would never
do anything to upset you both,

and I really wish I
could start all over again.

However,
I will honor your wishes

of leaving you be,
i.e., alone.

You won't hear
from me again,

except for this
letter which I hope...

SIMON: "...expresses how sorry I am
that things turned out the way they did.

"Gordo." Sad face.

"P.S.: I also
apologize about the dinner.

"Without going into detail,

"I think I would feel ashamed
to have you see where I really live.

"I am not exactly the success
story that you both are.

"Stupid me."

No, another sad face.

Two sad faces.

Oy.

Turn it over.
There's more.

"P.P.S.: Simon, after
all these years,

"I really was willing
to let bygones be bygones.

"I had nothing but
good intentions."

What does that mean?
I do not know.

Really?
Well, it must mean something.

I mean, "bygones be bygones,"
"after all these years."

Seriously, I have no idea
what he's talking about.

Huh.

Well, you're not forgetting that this
guy's not exactly stable?

But he seems okay, right?
Other than that?

And we're okay, Jangles is okay,
everybody's okay.

So whatever this was,
let's put it behind us.

Get him out of our minds,
and get on with it.

You know,
what do you say?

Question mark, smiley face.

(CHUCKLES)

(JANGLES BARKING)

Simon?

(GASPING)

SIMON: ...whole semester,
I'm still not going to admit that I did it.

You know, and anyway,
I never waffled. Yeah.

Now I know the guys gotta
catch a plane, so...

Thank you very much
for sitting and looking interested,

very nice of you.
I'll catch up with you.

Take care, you guys.

They loved you.
That was...

They loved you.
That felt pretty good.

Thank you very much for the
vote of confidence too, buddy.

Who else am I up against?
I don't want to get my hopes up,

you don't have to give me names,
but I just wanna know...

I don't mind giving you names.
There's only one other guy.

It's Danny McDonald
from Parker and Fitch.

Just the one?

I smell a promotion
for you, buddy.

(DOOR OPENS)

(FAINT RUSTLING)

ROBYN: Hello?

(PANTING)

sh**t.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER ON TV)

Hi.

Hey, baby. Come on.

SIMON: Hey.

Hey.
Morning.

I got coffee over here, honey.

Come sit down.
I want to tell you this funny story.

The brothers, I guess,
they went to my school.

Same school.
Same physics teacher.

This guy, Dr. Elsowet.

And they told me that
he still has the same nickname

that I gave him 10 years ago.
Dr. Smells-a-Bit.

(CHUCKLES)

We had a good laugh about it.
Meeting went really, really well.

Kevin is in fact leaving

and they're only
looking at one other guy,

so I got a really
good shot at it.

That's great, honey.

Yeah, that is great.

I was very excited to share it
with you last night when I got home.

But you were out like a light.

Anything you want to tell me?

Anything at all?

(CHATTER ON TV STOPS)

Yeah?

Yeah. Yeah, I do.

(EXHALES)

I'm glad you said that, 'cause

this was a real bummer to find.

I thought we were
done with all of that.

What's going on with you?

I thought we left all
this back in Chicago.

Robyn, you worked
real fast here.

You got yourself
a doctor too already?

Okay, okay, look.

Simon, I...

I need you to call him.

He made peace with us. I think that
we have to make peace with him.

What's he got to do with that?

'Cause I'm not
feeling good right now.

I feel scared when
I'm here by myself.

And I keep expecting
him to show up.

Why would he?

I don't know. I can't
explain it. But look, I'm...

It's made me kind of crazy. I...
Yeah.

You're probably paranoid from the pills.
I'm scared. I had a fall.

A fall.
I fainted.

Well, that's a shocker, you know,
you're chewing pills.

No, it wasn't
because of the pills.

I didn't take any.
Are you sure?

No, I didn't take any.
No, I wasn't.

Are you mixing this
stuff with anything?

This has nothing
to do with pills

and no,
I'm not mixing anything.

'Cause if you're
mixing it with something

it's going to get
really dangerous.

Do you want to turn the place
upside down like you did the last one?

Will you please
just listen to me?

If we say sorry to him,
we will make this right

and I will feel better.

Robyn, it's over.

I said it, he said it,
he wrote a letter.

Yeah, what about the letter
suggests that it's over?

The whole thing.

What does "bygones be bygones" mean?

Oh, my God.

And Jangles.

I mean, if you still believe that
he took Jangles, which you do,

then it's not over
for him, is it? Is it?

You asked me if there's something
I want to tell you.

...this shit, it's over!

Is there something
that you wanna tell me?

The subject is closed.

Look at what he's done to us.
This is his fault.

It's not my fault,
it's not your fault.

That's why we've got to
just put it behind us.

Please.

And time will heal it, okay?
Trust me.

Time's going to
prove that to you.

SIMON: I want you to
just look forward

and be strong.

Time gets rid of
a lot of things.

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)

It heals everything.

Let's just get on with doing
what we came here to do.

Let's make a family.

We'll start a new life.

A life of our choosing,
without him.

It's really important
to not look back.

(INAUDIBLE)

I don't know.

If everything's stripes,
probably not good.

No, it's cute. No.

Listen, so don't look now,

but there is a creepy guy
watching you from outside.

Yeah. Do you see him?
Right there?

Oh, my God.

It's him.
It's the guy from before.
The one I told you about.

LUCY: Well, Robyn, don't...

That is good for the winter.
It's for the stroller.

It's great.
Yeah.

It goes with the stroller.

I'm going to take that too.

Take those ones.

What is this? Is this you?
I don't mean to interrupt.

Look, Mom, sis,
in case you guys are gone

before I get back.
Okay, goodbye.

Goodbye. Have fun, you guys.
Bye.

Bye.
Don't let Mom drink too much.

Okay.

(ALL LAUGHING)

DUFFY: Hey, sure.
You want me to take that?

We'll just write
that it's Joan on there.

This one's from me.

It's just a little something...

There's a bigger present coming.

JOAN: He's so mean,
and now Henry's a complete tyrant

and Sunny is like
a very sweet law-abiding citizen

who Henry tries to corrupt
at every chance he can get,

which is exactly
what Simon did to me.

Really was a bad influence.

Hey, Joan, do you remember
a guy called Gordon Mosley?

Gordo?

He was at high school
with you and Simon?

Yeah. Yeah, no, Gordo.
He was...

He was the kid
that got sent away.

He got sent away? Why?

Man, it was like
a million years ago,

but they found him getting
molested in a car by this older kid.

It was really just...
It turned into a huge deal.

They pulled him out of school.

I guess he was getting bullied by
the kids for being gay, the poor thing.

So Simon would have
known all about it, right?

Simon was the one
that reported it.

Simon and his friend Greg.

They were the ones
that found him.

I think they
essentially saved him,

you know, if he was in trouble.

Right.

You could ask him more about it. I was 12.
No one told me anything.

But, man, it was a big storm in, like,
a small town, you know?

SIMON: Robyn?

Hi.

How'd it go?
Good.

Good.

My mom get off okay?

Uh, yeah. Yeah.

Great.

You hungry?

Sure. I'll be in
in a minute.

"Danny McDonald."

ROBYN: "Mr. Callem, here's all the
information available on Gordon Mosley.

"Put your mind at ease.
This guy is a nobody."

He has a full file on him.
A background check.

"2005, breaking and entering
De Factos' residence.

"Attempted abduction of a minor.

"Discharged from the United States Military,
August 14, 2004."

"Conduct unbecoming.

"Court forced stay
in a rehab facility."

Yeah, but Lucy,
why was Simon running

a background check
without telling me?

Robyn, why don't
you just ask him?

(SIGHS)

Okay, so you can't
talk to your husband.

What are you going to do?

I want to find
this Greg guy.

Simon's sister said
he was involved somehow.

Right.

Well, maybe you should do
some checking of your own.

ROBYN: Greg Pierson.

Mrs. Callem?

Yes.
Ah.

Right this way.

Okay. Just relax.

Uh, I'm sorry.

I think that you know my husband,
Simon Callem.

Yeah.

I came here today 'cause I need to
talk to you about a Gordon Mosley.

"Simon, just after
all these years,

"I really was willing
to let bygones be bygones.

"I had nothing but
good intentions."

And then there are these.
It's from the Bible.

"Behold he who conceives mischief
and brings forth falsehood.

"He has dug a pit
and hollowed it out,

"and has fallen into
the hole which he made."

I...

Look, I think
he wants to hurt us

for something that
happened back then,

and I'm just trying to
find out what it was.

Simon's sister told
me that you and him

stopped Gordo
from being molested.

If you were helping him,

why would he want
to hurt us?

He wasn't being molested.

God, this is crazy.

What do you mean,
he wasn't being molested?

She told me that
he was found in a car with a...

I'm sorry, you're
just going to have

to talk to your
husband about all this.

I have tried.

Please.

Look, can you
answer me one question?

The other person in
the car with Gordo, was it Simon?

What?

No, it's...

No.

Look, I've made
peace with this.

With Gordo, with
what happened to him, what we did.

Wait, what you did? But then you
admit that something happened?

With what you did.
No, it was nothing.
I mean, he...

Look, it was nothing,
and then it kind of became something.

I'm sorry, but you're not
making very much sense.

I'm just asking you to tell me...
It was all a lie.

What was a lie?

The whole thing.

The whole story.
Not one part of it was true.

Simon made
the whole thing up

about Gordo being
with a guy in a car.

About him being gay.

But why?
Why would he do that?

'Cause he could.

Simon was a bully.

He had a real mean streak,
and Gordo was a target.

One of the weak kids.

He made this whole thing up,
and it basically ruined Gordo's life.

I mean, it's amazing
how an idea can take a hold

and really
bring a person down.

Look, we were just kids.

We didn't realize how crazy
this whole thing would get,

but we did have
a chance to stop it.

Simon could have told the truth,
but he didn't.

I mean, the bullying,
the kids beating on him,

and stuff like... I mean,
what happened with Gordo and his dad.

I don't know what
that does to a person.

What happened with
Gordo and his dad?

(INDISTINCT TALK)

We've really got
a process going.

They shouldn't get
the impression that I'm...

Hey, Robyn.

...and let them
think that I'm...

Hey, honey.

You know, I'm passionate
about the job and...

Yes, I already
did that for you.

The decision's coming down Monday,
all right?

I've already given
my recommendations

and I don't think
you have anything

to worry about,
to be honest with you.

Didn't you mention
that there was another guy?

A Danny someone?

Danny McDonald.
Did you hear?

Yes, no, something
went down, man.

SIMON: Oh, really?
KEVIN: Yeah. The guy's being investigated.

Listen, it's late. Why don't we pick
this up first thing in the morning?

I've kept you here long enough.
Oh, yeah.

Absolutely. It is late.

I gotta get out.
Robyn, I'm leaving.
Your husband's kicking me out.

Hey, want to hit balls tomorrow?

Yep.
Yeah?

SIMON: You scurry around
behind my f*cking back

and you dig up some
idiot from my past?

Just talk to me about it.

I'm not talking
to you about shit

because it's garbage.

Admit that you told a story...
Stop talking.

...that nearly got someone k*lled!
Stop.

His father tried to k*ll him.

Stop! Stop!

He tried to burn him.
Forget it.

Simon, what you said
affected people's lives.

His father was arrested for
attempted m*rder.

No, his dad knocked
him around a little,

and now it's 25 years later

and the story's been blown
out of proportion. That's all.

So you do know.

Holy shit.
I'm an assh*le, Robyn, okay?

I made his life a living hell
and I treated him like shit.

Is that what you're trying to figure out?
That I was an assh*le?

I was an assh*le, okay?

My dad was an assh*le to me,
treated me like shit.

But I took it.
I sucked it up.

I'm not on my hands and knees
crying about it, praying about it.

Stuck in the f*cking
past about it.

I moved on.
I made something of my life.

This world's about
f*cking winners and losers,

and we're all in the same
shitty playground, you know?

Guess what? That this guy lost
and then he's moaning about it,

is just him being stuck
because he wants to be stuck

because he can't get
past the f*cking moment.

He's not going to pull me back

and apologize for
something I don't know about,

that I'm not responsible for,
that I don't care about.

I don't owe that guy shit.

You could say you're
sorry for your part of it.

f*ck that.
People don't apologize

to everyone all
the time, Robyn.

That's not
the way the world works.

Or is that the way it works for you?
Is that what this is about?

You fantasize about all those girls back
at high school that treated you like shit

just lining up all
of a sudden saying,

"Hey, Robyn, we're so sorry
about how we treated you..."

That's great.

You're a bully.

You were then,
and you still are now.

I'll take
an apology for that.

Oh, geez,
this is not about an apology!

Simon, this is
about you and me!

You have to do this for us,
because if you don't at least try to fix this...

If you don't...
(SHUSHING)

Even if I wanted to,
I have no idea where to find this guy.

So save it.

(LAUGHS)

Oh, yes, you do.
You seem to know a lot of things.

Those Post-its were
stuck to my car window

soon after he sent that letter,

and they are the reason
that I had that background check done.

And then had
an attorney contact him

and get a restraining order.

I'm sorry.
I was trying to protect you.

I wanted this to be
my burden, not yours.

I had no idea to what extent
his father hurt him.

I'd heard stories,
but I did not know to what extent.

Funny, when someone
lies to you enough,

you just stop
believing anything they say.

'Cause all this time,
I thought that I was crazy,

and I'm not.

And you let me.

And I just realized

I have no idea
who you really are.

What can I do to
make it up to you?

You're asking the wrong person.

Our final question
is a bonus round question.

Which album was famously
introduced as testimony

in the Tate-LaBianca
homicide cases,

Los Angeles, in 1969?

Also referred to as
the "what" murders?
The "what" murders?

Hey.

Gordo.

Simon.

How you doing?

Long time. I saw you up there.
Wanted to say hello.

Actually, I tracked
you down, okay?

I wanted to apologize.

Robyn and I were talking about
things that happened back at school.

About how I might not
have treated you so well,

and she wanted me
to bury the hatchet.

Or as you said,
let bygones be bygones.

And so...

So she wanted you to come.

(SIGHS)

No. Listen.

I wouldn't be here if I
didn't want to be here.

So I'm here,
and I'm apologizing to you.

Well?
Well, what?

You accept my apology?

You see,
it's too late for that.

Got it. Okay.

You know, I was willing.

Were you, though?

Yeah. What the f*ck
do you think I'm doing here?

See, you're done with the past,

but the past is
not done with you.

What?
What do you mean by that?

It's a saying.

I know it's a saying,
but what do you mean?

Hey, I asked you a question.

Hey!

I gave you a chance.

I asked you a question.

Huh?

Hey, answer the question.

(BREATHING DEEPLY)

Accept my apology.

I said it's too late for that.

It's too late for you, Gordo.

Look at you.

Now I want you
to listen to me.

I want you to
understand something.

Leave it. Leave it.

Listen to me.
Listen to me.
(GROANS)

Who you are is
your own fault.

It's got nothing
to do with me.

Okay? If you ever come near
me or my family again,

I will destroy you,
you understand?

(GROANS)

How'd it go?

(EXHALES)

I found him, and...

What did he say?

He...

He just seemed so
appreciative, you know?

And...

I'm so sorry.

I'm really sorry.

But it's definitely over.

Thank God.

I'm so sorry, honey.

For everything, you know.

Yeah. Me too.

RON: Speech!

KEVIN: Who I would like to
say is my successor...

Stand up. Stand up.
WENDY: Speech.

Speech, Simon. Come on.
A man who's synonymous

with hard work,
with integrity,

with just being a kiss-ass,

but nobody that I can honestly
think of better to fill this position

and a man I'm very proud to
call a great man and a good friend.

Orthus' new National Divisions Sales Rep.
It's all because of you.

Speech. Speech.

All credit goes to Kevin.

Truly, without you
it would not have happened.

Thank you. Do you hear?
He said, "All credit goes to Kevin."

And just, you know,

I'm happy and I
love you and I love him

and love you guys...

WOMAN: Better speech.
(LOUD THUD)

ALL: Oh!

What the hell was that?

Was that a branch?
Are you okay?
It was big.

Somebody does not want
you to give a speech.

You just jumped.
You jumped so far.

I don't know what that was.
DUFFY: What was that?

LUCY: Was that the glass?
ROBYN: Careful.

KEVIN: What the hell?

Turn the light on.

(ALL GASP)
(CAR ALARM BLARING)

LUCY: Did it get you?
No. No.

You okay?
You okay? Call the police.

LUCY: I think that was a rock.
RON: Holy...

LUCY: Are you okay?
ROBYN: Yeah.

KEVIN: You guys all right? Hey.
LUCY: Is everybody okay?

KEVIN: Hey.

Call the police.

(CAR ALARM CONTINUES BLARING)

RON: Guys...

(INDISTINCT TALKING)

LUCY: Okay, careful.

SIMON: Turn that off.

KEVIN: It's gone,
whatever it was.

LUCY: You have
to file a report.

DUFFY: What was it?

(GRUNTING)
(ALL SHOUTING)

KEVIN: Guys, stay back. No,
guys, stay back, stay back.

ROBYN: Simon!

Simon! My God!

KEVIN: Stay back!
ROBYN: Simon!

Be careful!
Watch out, watch out!
Stay back.

Watch out.
Guys, stay back, seriously.

ROBYN: No.

Jesus! My God.

Who the f*ck are you?
Jesus, Danny, what the hell?

(DANNY GROANS)
Who the f*ck is this guy?

Get off!
Do you know this guy?

Yeah, it's Danny McDonald!

f*ck off.
Guys, guys. I know him.

It's Danny McDonald.
f*ck off!

Let him go. Come on.

You're the one who cheated me
out of the job,

I f*cking know it
was you, mother...

Hey, hey, hey.

Get off me, get off me!

KEVIN: Hey, hey, hey.

I saw the e-mail,
you assh*le!

Saying you knew people
at my old firm, yeah?

Who the f*ck did you know
at Parker and Fitch?

You fabricated all
that shit, admit it!

I lost my job because of
you, you lying assh*le!

Who the f*ck did you know?

DANNY: No, no.

Oh, f*ck.
RON: Hey.

DANNY: No, no, no.

Please, come on.

No, no, I can't
get arrested, please.

It's okay.

No. No.

Let him go.

Go ahead, let him go.
Let him go.

Go ahead.

ROBYN: I think
this is happening.

LUCY: Okay.
All right, let's go.

ROBYN: This is happening.
DUFFY: Simon?

It's happening.
Get your keys.

Is anyone blocking you in?
Let's go get your bag, okay?

Okay.
You all right?

Yeah, yeah.
I'm fine.

(INAUDIBLE)

(KNOCK ON GLASS)

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Hey, Kevin, how are you?

KEVIN: (OVER PHONE)
Simon, we need to talk.
You free?

Yeah. I've got
a second, what's up?

I was doing him a favor.
This guy had a bad track record.

Look, Simon, it kills me to be
calling you today of all days, but...

Kevin, listen to me.
...I just had to warn you.

They know the stuff about Danny
was fabricated.

They want your office cleaned out
by the end of the week.

Jesus, what a f*cking mess.

You know,
I went to bat for you.

Buddy, I gotta call you back.
I hope you understand.

We're going to work
this out later, okay?

Save your breath, all right?
This is final.

I'll call you later.

With what they're
giving me? Sure.

No problem.
I'm surprised you're still talking now.

You should go home
and get some sleep.

I'm going to go get
you that tea, okay?

Okay. Thank you, Lucy.

They're nice people, aren't they?
Lucy and Ron?

Reminds me, I should
probably go check on Ron.

See how he's doing
with the window.

Maybe take a shower
for the both of us.

See if Ron's open

to taking care of Jangles
for a couple of days.

Sounds good.
Okay.

You okay?
Yeah.

Call me if you
need anything else.

Simon?

Hmm?

I don't... I don't want to go
back to that house.

God, this isn't easy, Simon.

Especially now.

I...

I don't want to go back
to that house with you.

You...

Okay.

I'm going to hurry back
and we'll talk.

I'll be right back.

SIMON: (OVER SPEAKER)
I'll tell you why
he doesn't have a wife.

He'd like to be married to you.
He'd like you to be his wife.

ROBYN: Oh, God, Simon.
SIMON: Yep.

Come on, honey.
This guy likes you so much.
Tell me you don't see it.

Come on.

ROBYN: I really don't think
that is the reason why.

Stop.
SIMON: Come on, honey.

Why all the drop in's and the
stop by's only when you're home alone?

I think he's obsessed with you, honey.
I think he wants to nail you.

I think he wants to be me,
wants to move into the house.

He wants to play mommies
and daddies with you,

the creepy little fucker.

I'm Gordo the Weirdo.

ROBYN: What?

SIMON: (OVER SPEAKER)
...crazy little pee-pee,

pee-pee pleasey-weasy.

I'm Gordo the Weirdo
and I want you all to myself.

Can I have you?
ROBYN: No.

SIMON: Can I have you, please?
Why not?

Why not?
ROBYN: Because you're disgusting.

(MUSIC BLARING OVER SPEAKERS)

(HELICOPTER WHIRRING OVER SPEAKERS)

I came to say...

Congratulations.

What happened to you?

Uh...

Did Simon do that to you?

He just...

I don't know what's
going on with him.

He just went crazy.

Boy or a girl?

He's a boy.

I'm very happy for you.

Good people deserve good things.

No. f*ck.

SIMON: What did you do?

Come on, Robyn,
pick up the phone.

ROBYN: (ON VOICEMAIL)
Hi, you've reached Robyn.

I can't get to
the phone right now.

Please leave a message.
Shit.

Robyn?
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Hey! Gordon!

Hey!

Hey! Gordon!

You sick m*therf*cker!

Gordo!

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Hello?

(GORDO MIMICS HELICOPTER
WHIRRING OVER PHONE)

f*ck you. Where are you?

GORDO: (OVER PHONE)
Don't interrupt me.

If you don't mind,
I'm just going to power through this

and you can talk
right after, okay?

Are you going to tell her,
or should I?

No, no, no.
Please. Please. Please.

Gordo, listen.
Please?

Please?

Pleasey-weasy, pleasey-weasy,
creepy little fucker.

Say "pleasey-weasy."
Yeah, "pleasey-weasy."
Say it.

Yeah, you're sweating now.
You know what?

You know what
you really want is,

what you really want is for me
to tell you that everything's okay.

That it didn't happen.

Does it remind you
of something?

You never did that for me.

f*cking assh*le.

Okay?

I didn't do it. There.

I didn't touch her.

Or maybe I did.

I don't know.
See, I could tell you the truth.

Maybe I didn't do it,

but a liar won't believe
anybody else, right?

I think you just need to go
and have a look at the baby.

It's all in the eyes,
you see.

You see what happens
when you poison

other people's minds with ideas?