(Rock music)
I'm ready for something
something new
I'm ready to show the world
what I can do
(Indistinct chatter)
Thank you. What's...
Yes! Yes! I will marry you!
Yes! I will marry you!
Oh wait.
I asked the question.
But I still mean it though!
(Laughing)
Congratulations!
(Upbeat music)
(indistinct chatter)
Okay, boss.
You set up three blind dates,
two engagements, and officiated
nuptials in booth four.
And it's only 7:30.
Let's dial back the caffeine.
I love love.
What is wrong with that?
Yes, Trina, you love love, but
you definitely don't love sleep.
We are just busy,
and you know what they say,
if you want something
done right...
Let your maitre d' do it?
You're spreading
yourself too thin.
At this pace,
you won't be able to keep up.
What happens if you mix up
the Clifton engagement
with the Kline anniversary?
Nothing. You wanna know why?
Because we don't have any bookings
under either of those names.
But nice try.
Ah...
I hear you! Okay?
And I appreciate your concern.
I will take a look
at the calendar.
And maybe there's
a Monday morning next month
where I can take an hour off.
But I'm not going home
early tonight
because three new engagements
means three new parties next month.
And I have to be on top
of all that prep.
Hi!
Okay, well...
In that case,
James wants to see you.
- Hairstylist or landlord?
- Landlord.
Okay.
(Indistinct chatter)
Hi, James.
I think I know
what this is about.
It's your 25th wedding
anniversary next week,
and you don't have
anything planned.
Well, I planned a party for you
and you just have to show up.
You're welcome.
Uh, thank you.
Also, I'm selling the building.
What?!
I've waited long enough,
but it's time.
Okay, chocolate... Chocolate?
I'm gonna need chocolate.
Chocolate!
Marnie wants to move to Tucson
and she told me
I want to move there, too.
- Tucson?!
- She wants a yurt.
Nobody wants a yurt!
It kind of turns out
people do like yurts.
(Sighing)
Anyway, the real estate market
is really hot now
and I've already been approached
several times.
I'm sure before they flip
the building into condos,
the new owner will give you
plenty of time to move out.
Condos?! James... James!
I've got bookings arranged.
I just got the booths
reupholstered.
I got the oven calibrated.
Do you have any idea
how hard that is to do?
Paulo is not going back in there
without a raise.
I'm sorry, Trina.
I love this place, too.
But the desert calls.
James... James,
let it go to voicemail.
No, Trina. I'm sorry.
I'm listing the building
at the end of the month.
Sell it to me.
(Scoffs)
What?
Yeah, let me buy the building.
I mean, how much can it cost?
Could use a little update,
I think so.
- This much.
- Holy cats!
That is a lot
of proposal cupcakes!
But look, I can do it.
You can?
Absolutely.
Just give me... two weeks,
and I will meet
your asking price.
Well, I would like to keep this
old building in the community.
Perfect! Well, I will go ahead
and take that as a yes.
And I should go because Table six
is about to propose
to her girlfriend.
And she has a torn ACL, so I should
help her get down on one knee.
Well, remember...
End of the month!
Yeah, you got it. Okay.
End of the month!
(Chuckling)
Spoiler alert on Table ten.
They got the Triple Love
Fudge Cupcake.
Proposal Town, USA.
Uh-huh.
What's this?
Are you studying
for a math test?
James wants to sell
the building.
- I would have preferred a math test.
- Yeah, exactly.
What are you going to do?
What are we going to do?
Oh man, I can't be a budding
restaurateur without a restaurant.
Don't make me go back to the sports bar.
I hate sports.
We're gonna be fine.
We're gonna be fine.
Is this because of all those
broken champagne flutes last week?
Because they arrived that way.
There was a shipment
of broken champagne flutes?
No.
Look, Paulo, you need
to calm down. Okay?
I told him I was going
to try to buy the building.
You can afford the building?
We're doing better than I thought.
Can I have a raise?
No. No, absolutely not.
We can't afford the building.
I mean, we're doing well, but we're
not doing "afford the building" well.
But I'm going to try.
We're gonna try.
(Sighing)
Can I have a raise anyway?
No. Nuh-uh.
(Phone chiming)
Oh! Looks like
there's someone out front.
But we've seated everybody.
(Phone shutters clicking)
(indistinct chatter)
Hey!
Oh, um, I'm sorry, sir.
There seems to be a...
(Laughing)
Pete!
No way.
- Oh, Pete!
- Paulo!
(Speaking Spanish)
(laughing)
(groaning)
Que paso?
No.
Trina, this is America's favorite
improv comic Pete Sanders.
Uh, yes, and.
(Laughing)
And his girlfriend,
Kim Hijikata.
Do you guys have a hashtag
for this place?
No, you know, we actually
really encourage everyone
to put their phones down
when they come here
and just focus on the person
you're with.
Creates kind of an environment
for love and attention, and focus.
No worries.
I'll wait until we sit down.
Pete and I were
roommates in college.
We took Spanish class together.
This is back
when he was just a normie.
A normie?
A non-famous person.
You know, people cannot stop
talking about this place,
I thought I'd see if you guys
maybe could squeeze us in.
The thing is that what we do here is a
very, very individualized experience.
So we kind of specialize in things
like engagements, elopements...
- First dates.
- Blind dates.
- Anniversary.
- Get out of the doghouse dates.
Speed dates.
(Laughing)
I gotta work on the delivery
with that one.
Yeah. So it takes weeks
to orchestrate.
Especially if we need
something like an orchestra
or a special permit,
pyrotechnics...
So, no hashtag, then?
Let me see
when I can fit you in.
Thank you.
The closest thing
we have to this date
is two months from now.
- Wait, two months?
- Yeah.
You know what, that's okay.
We can actually go...
Oh, um... Come on.
Just this once.
He's a friend.
And...
The social media support
would be great.
Is that... Our profile
is really blowing up.
We have 500 more followers
since this morning.
And that's just from
our diners posting about them.
Wait until Kim tags us
and all her fans see.
We'll be selling your famous
Triple Love cupcakes for days!
Oh, there it is!
I found Cafe of Love.
I can just tag it.
Oh... Uh...
What about Table seven?
The Yeung couple eloped
early and canceled.
It does have beautiful
soft lighting for Kim's selfies
and incredible leg room for
Pete's tall frame and long legs.
Sounds great.
You know what, I do...
I love love.
I love love! So yes,
table seven is perfect. Go ahead.
Great!
There we go. Thank you so much.
No problem.
- Right this way.
- Uh-huh, after you.
Come on, baby girl.
(Indistinct chatter)
- This is so beautiful.
- I know.
They're doing such a good job.
You know who would love this,
is your mother.
Yes, she would love this.
She would like the vibe
and the fanciness.
Oh, they would love it.
This place is so amazing.
(Phone shutter clicking)
(laughing)
I'm used to the comedy clubs
where the most romantic thing
you see
is when a couple like
Lady-and-the-Tramps their curly fries.
Uh, excuse me.
Could I send this back
to the chef?
- Is something wrong with it?
- No.
It just took
too long to photograph,
and now the chocolate's
getting cold.
Thank you.
You know...
We've been together
for over a year.
I'm surprised, too.
Wow, the lighting
is really flattering.
Why... Why are you surprised?
(Phone shutter clicking)
Oh, no reason.
But you know that this year
has been really, really special.
Yeah, totally.
(Chuckling)
You know, I don't know,
I think maybe being here
and the vibe and everything,
it's kind of making me feel
like...
Oh... What?
You wanna get engaged
because half of Los Angeles
has here?
I mean,
we are kinda of the Mila
and Ashton of the Internet.
You're kneeling.
(Chuckling)
I wasn't planning this.
I don't even have a ring,
you know.
I...
Oh... Thank you.
(Clears throat)
Kimberly Hijikata...
Will you marry me?
- Oh, Pete.
- Yeah?
No.
What? What?
What?
I'm sorry.
You're a nice guy and all,
but...
No.
I'm gonna go.
(Eerie music)
(phone shutters clicking)
- Hey, what just happened?
- Um...
Let's... get you
out of the spotlight.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, my goodness.
You're... large.
Like a door.
Sorry.
Where did she go?
She said, "No."
But I can't believe
she said, "No."
Okay. You just nurse
this glass of wine.
And I'm going to go and get you
my broken heart dessert.
You have a dessert
for a broken heart?
Of course I do.
It is a decedent donut
with a French vanilla icing
and crunchy fruit loops.
Made from scratch.
Yeah, this might help.
(Chuckling)
What are we going to do?
We are gonna let him eat his
feelings until he's ready to go home.
No, about the Cafe.
Do you have any ideas yet
or plans?
Because I have some ideas.
Oh. I'm sure you do.
What's going on, you guys
are having problems too?
- No.
- Yes.
- Yeah, no.
- Yes.
- We're doing great.
- No, we're not.
The owner is selling the building and Trina
wants to buy it, but she can't afford it.
- Paulo!
- What? We're friends.
Maybe I could help.
Oh, no, thank you.
I'm not really looking
for any more waitstaff.
Well, actually though,
maybe I will be soon.
No, no, no. I can like,
put on a comedy fundraiser.
You know, I can do that for you
and help raise money for the cafe.
There it is.
He's in the Pete space!
Um, that's really sweet
of you to offer.
But I think that...
And, in exchange,
you can help me win Kim back.
Amazing!
(Chuckling)
What?!
Yeah, no. It's perfect.
It's perfect. Look, I can do
what I do best, comedy.
And you can do what you do best...
You know, the...
Yeah. Feed all of Paulo's
friends who crash my restaurant?
No, I'm talking about love.
He's got you there.
- Um...
- She loves me.
Okay, she says it all the time.
She just said it this morning.
Yeah, no, no. Look, come here.
(Mumbling)
There we go, boom. You see that?
Right there. Okay?
She says, verbatim,
"I can't believe I get to spend
each day with you."
Yeah, I mean, technically,
it didn't have
the word "love" in it.
She just didn't like
the proposal.
Which is fair, okay?
I mean, the person next to us
had a letter from her father
giving his blessing
before he d*ed.
And I'm there, kneeling, like an
idiot, with some stupid dandelion...
Okay, I'm gonna have
to interject there.
It was actually a forget-me-not.
And it's a time-honored
symbol of love.
She really does think
of everything, doesn't she?
Thank you. I am a workaholic.
It's why she doesn't have
a boyfriend.
Okay, Paulo.
Enough of that.
Of course she said no.
And I would've, but...
This is what you do.
You can help me come up
with a better proposal
and I can win her back.
Please.
Look, it's very sweet of you,
but no thank you.
Why not?!
Because I'm not going
to persuade a woman
into doing something that
she may or may not want to do.
(Phone chiming)
And... saved by the bell.
Your car is here.
You called me a ride?
And I also packaged you
a few extra donuts.
I think you might need them.
(Chuckling)
Yeah, I...
Wow, you are really good
at your job.
I'm not bad.
I... Listen, I'm sorry
if I came on too strong.
I don't want you to feel
any pressure.
I just, I love her so much
and I just feel like we could
help each other out here.
Uh... It does feel like
a little bit of pressure.
Okay. I'll...
Okay... Okay. Thank you.
And now, I just have to figure
out how to save this place.
Okay.
(Sighing)
(phone ringing)
- Hello.
- Hey, boss.
Have you figured out
how to pay for the building yet?
Uh, yep. Getting closer
every day.
I know you're not gonna
like this,
but have you thought
about asking your parents?
Uh, that's a definite no.
(Laughing)
Where are you right now?
Oh, I'm at the Ha Ha Hole,
catching one of Pete's shows.
Okay, so this is why you called.
Okay, I figure if
I save the restaurant,
you'll finally let me take
some more responsibility.
And I don't want to have
to look for a new job.
Okay. Paulo,
there is no way
an old college roommate of yours
is gonna be able to make enough
to make that payment.
Boss, I know that comedy
isn't your thing,
but Pete is the real deal.
He's been on tons
of "Ones to Watch" lists.
And that's great for him.
But it doesn't really do
anything for me.
And then she said,
"hold my tomato!"
(laughing)
That laughter is for him.
Let him help.
Let him help, let him help,
let him help.
Okay. You know what,
before I agree to anything,
he's gonna have to pass
some tests.
Oh, I know.
I still have nightmares
about the blender exam
you gave me on my interview.
And I will meet with Pete
to make sure he's serious.
Yes!
I'm not making
any promises, okay?
Yes, yes. I'll set it up.
You won't regret this.
Well, I already do.
What do you think, Valentine?
Yeah, bad idea, right?
(Soft music)
And he's late. Unreal.
- Hey!
- Oh.
Are you ready to play?
Are you sure you are?
You look like you just played
one-on-one with Michael Jordan.
I did. He sucks.
Okay, okay.
Well, I was born ready.
Let's get you looking ready.
Oh, I'm legit now.
You look legit.
Hey, listen, I just wanted to thank
you again for helping me with this.
I've been a mess without Kim.
Really? You don't seem
like it.
What do you mean?
Oh, I just mean,
most people would probably be
sitting on their sofa
eating dry cereal
and not shaving their legs.
(Chuckling)
Sounds like a personal problem.
Yeah, you're not wrong.
Sorry. No. I...
I get how this could seem weird.
It's just, whenever I'm stressed
out, I just sh**t hoops.
Just try to get
all the endorphins I can
to get me out of my funk.
Actually pretty smart.
(Chuckling)
Thanks.
The more stressed I get,
the better my jump sh*t is.
Oh!
(Laughing)
Okay, alright.
What do you think?
First one to 21 wins?
Yeah, yeah, but before we do
this, I have a lot of questions.
Oh, I respect your process.
You've gotta be serious.
Okay? And she's gotta want it.
Love is a two-way street.
I've met too many men who think
they're ready for a real commitment,
but they don't even know the
color of their girlfriend's eyes.
Easy.
Brown with flecks of amber.
That is... oddly specific.
Okay.
Biggest childhood trauma?
Go.
Uh... Oh! When she was a kid,
she got bullied by her neighbor
across the street.
So last Christmas, I tracked
him down, got him to apologize.
Okay, okay. Now biggest
and most important question...
Yeah?
What do you love most about her?
Oh, that's easy.
I love her because she's kind,
she's beautiful,
she's independent,
not afraid to go
after what she wants.
And she's fun.
Man, she's so fun.
She's creative.
And she's not afraid
to stand up for herself.
And look, I know I didn't plan to
propose or anything that night,
but my life is built
around spontaneity.
I just thought
what we had was good.
I just want her back, Trina.
I just want her back,
however she'll have me.
(Sighing)
Wow.
So, is that a yes?
No, I was kind of more just
impressed with your jump sh*t.
It really does get good
when you're stressed.
Oh, thanks.
But, yeah...
Yeah, you know what,
I'll see what I can do.
- Yeah?
- Mm-hmm.
(Laughing)
Yes!
Oh, by the way, I'm up by two.
Oh, what?
(Mumbling)
Oh, you're pretty good.
(Upbeat music)
- What's the verdict?
- He's sincere.
I knew it! I told you!
I knew it.
Okay. Relax, Paulo. I still have to find
out Kim's perspective on everything.
- Oh. Here's her number.
- You have Kim's number?
Yes, I do, from when I called
her a cab the other night.
Then she started following me.
Can you believe that?
Then, she commented
on one of my posts,
probably not
a particularly good one.
It was of my feet at the beach.
Okay, no, no. You specifically
should never be posting your feet.
But wowsa; my followers
are blowing up!
Anyway, Kim and I do text now.
But we will never be
as close as you and me.
Just sent!
I'm really glad
you're doing this.
(Phone chiming)
Okay, got it.
I mean, let's just hope
it all works out.
You got this?
I got this.
- Don't mess it up!
- I won't.
(Door opening and closing)
Management, here I come.
(Upbeat music playing)
(phone shutter clicking)
(knocking on door)
- Hi.
- Oh, hi, Trina. Come on in.
Thank you. I tried the front,
but...
Yeah, I was busy sh**ting.
Okay. Oh, wow. Um...
Did you get all these
ring lights for social media?
No! Companies just keep
giving them to me.
Oh. Oh, that's...
That's tough.
Are these my leftovers
from the other night?
You really are full service.
Oh wow. Uh, no.
Actually,
I brought treats for us.
I was just wondering if I could
talk to you about the other night.
That's sweet,
but all sponsorship requests
have to go through my manager.
Totally get that.
Uh, not looking
for a sponsorship right now.
Then a re-share?
Pardon for me prodding.
Look, I'm really just hoping to find
out what's going on with you and Pete.
That's kinda personal.
I am kind of bringing you four
different kinds of cupcakes.
My mother always said
I was an open book.
Come out back.
You and Pete came
into the cafe the other night,
and you seemed really happy.
And generally, my cafe
isn't really a place
people come to break up.
Pete's... Pete's really upset.
Look, Pete is a fun, sexy,
spontaneous boyfriend.
Kinda like a Golden Retriever
who tells jokes.
- Okay.
- A lot of jokes.
Like, he's great.
But he doesn't listen at all.
It's all about him.
Okay. How so?
For example, I've been telling
him ever since we started dating
that I wanted to go this cool
LA milkshake truck
that has the best flavors.
Okay.
There's matcha flavor,
spicy margarita, sushi burrito.
Okay, sorry...
A sushi burrito milkshake?!
Yes! And it's supposed
to be amazing.
But, never registered.
When you're with him,
he takes over the conversation.
Sometimes, a girl just wants the ring-light
to be on her, you know what I mean?
It was fine
being his girlfriend,
but I just realized,
when he proposed,
he's not husband material.
For now.
For now?
You know how posting
trend-setting lipliner
techniques is kinda your thing?
I am really good at it.
That's something Kylie and I
have in common.
Well, love is mine.
If I get Pete to agree to work
on some of these issues with me,
will you give him
another chance?
I mean, you don't have to promise anything.
Just a date.
My fans do love love.
And they have great taste.
Obviously.
(Laughing)
(soft music)
You know...
I'm going to do something
that I rarely ever do.
- Eat fast food?
- Ooh...
Watch reality television?
Come in late?
Take a vacation?
I can keep going.
Okay, well, I was going
to put you in charge
of the restaurant for a little
while while I go out,
but if you're going to be
a jerk about it, that's okay.
(Chuckling)
Nope. All good.
- Yeah. That's better.
- Where are you going?
I need to go and see Pete
in his natural habitat.
You do realize he's not
an endangered animal, right?
Well, his relationship
is endangered.
- Nice one.
- Thank you.
And I'm not just saying that because
you're about to put me in charge.
Look, I'm gonna be gone
two hours. Three absolute max.
The only thing you really need
to take care of
is the big Wyman booking.
That's tonight?
- Paulo!
- Just kidding. I know.
Their rehearsal dinner.
The DJ is all set.
No, it's a 50th
anniversary dinner.
And they requested
chamber music.
Just kidding again.
(Phone beeps)
Reminder: Cancel DJ.
Okay, this was a terrible idea.
I'm only gonna be gone
an hour and a half.
I think a couple of minutes of his sketch
show was gonna be more than enough.
- Where is he performing?
- Um... the Ha Ha Hole. Ha, ha?
Am I underdressed?
You're wearing
a dress and heels.
Am I overdressed?
Nope, I'm dressed.
That's good enough. It's fine.
(Upbeat music)
Ha-Ha Hole, this can't be it.
Okay, Google Maps.
Hi there.
You've reached the voicemail
of interim-general manager
of Cafe of Love, Paulo.
Wow.
You give that guy an inch,
and he'll take the whole ruler.
Here goes nothing.
(Blowing raspberries)
Pickle!
Pick... Pickle!
Pickle, pickle, pickle...
(Clears throat)
Pickle. Pickle.
Oh, oh. Hey!
- Oh, hi.
- Are you looking for someone?
Uh, yes.
Possibly a handsome, but you know,
partially out of work improv comedian?
Um, almost, yeah.
I'm looking for Pete Sanders.
I think he's performing tonight.
Oh, you're here
for The Pete Show.
Oh, I mean, I didn't know
he had his own whole show?
Yeah, some nights,
it seems like it.
Right this way.
- Okay.
- Watch your step.
(Applause)
- Hey, everybody. I'm Pete.
- And I'm Ken.
And I'm Emily.
(Together): And we're
the Jack-elopes.
Alright, and tonight,
we're gonna start off
by playing a classic game
called "Interview".
Which is where one of us
will be interviewing for a job,
but we don't know what it is.
And Ken is gonna put on
these headphones
and some music so he can't hear
what we're saying. Can you, Ken?
(Laughing)
Oh, Ken. Super sexy moves.
I never took him for an Enya guy.
(Laughing)
What we're gonna need from the audience
is a suggestion of a type of job.
Any kind of job. So come on.
Come on, come on.
- School teacher.
- No.
- Grass blower.
- That sucks.
(Laughing)
Mall Santa.
Oh! Mall Santa!
Back there, sir.
That's a great one. Yeah, great, okay.
We're gonna go with that.
Emily and I are going
to be interviewing Ken
for the position of mall Santa.
We're gonna dive
right into this. Kenneth!
Here we go.
(Clears throat)
So, welcome. Thank you so much
for agreeing to meet us today.
Of course.
Oh, why don't I take
that big, red coat off for you?
Oh, well, thank you.
Thank you, thank you.
It helped me a lot while I
served in the Revolutionary w*r.
(Buzzer sounding)
(laughing)
No?
No.
We took a look at your resume
and all your work experience,
and we have a few questions
for you.
Tell us about your lap.
Grooming habits,
grooming habits!
Tell us about those.
Uh... My lap grooming habits?
No, not quite
what I was going for.
I guess we're
a family-friendly...
Tell me, how did you get
that big, bad, beard of yours?
Well, it goes very well
with my red coat.
Which, I guess,
the spirit of Christmas...
Oh. That's right.
Spirit of Christmas.
The spirit of good old
St. Nick.
And you would find him in a...
Where could we find you
at your old job?
I, uh...
Oh, oh...
Let me ask you a question.
Have you been a good boy
this year or...?
(Laughing)
Have you been a good boy
this year or a naughty boy?
Oh! I know who I am!
I'm a... a mall Santa!
Mall Santa!
(Applause)
Yes!
Yeah. Got it.
- We did it!
- Did we?!
I think I might know
what the problem is.
Look at this gargoyle
I've finally created.
(Exclaiming)
(indistinct chatter)
(laughing)
Remember, I gave you
my phone number?
- What?
- Can I get it back?
Oh!
(Laughing)
(applause)
- Can we go?
- I guess.
(Laughing)
Trina!
I didn't know comedy
was your thing.
Oh, I mean, it's not really,
but thoroughness is.
- Okay.
- I was actually hoping
we could talk about our project.
Oh yeah. Let's go get
a drink...
Hey, Pete!
A bunch of us are headed
to the bar. You coming?
Yes! Uh, also, Emily,
this is my friend Trina.
- Hi.
- Oh, my God.
Yes, thank God.
Come here, come here.
Thank goodness
you finally broke up with Kim.
She was a real piece of...
No, no!
Kim broke up with me.
Remember?
Oh, yes. Okay.
Well, that works for me too.
And Trina here is helping me
get Kim back.
(Sighing)
Okay.
And then, Pete's actually
helping me with a fundraiser
to save my restaurant. So it's kind
of like a you scratch my back...
- I do a comedy show for yours.
- That kind of thing.
We're getting Kim back.
- Yeah, well, hopefully.
- Love it. Love that.
Oh, hey, you should do it, too.
I mean, the show.
Not scratching my back.
Ah yes. Of course. I am not
going to make that mistake twice.
This guy has a very hairy back.
(Laughing)
Stop.
Okay, well, I would love to,
just give me the details later.
Okay, you, I'm very happy
about this.
Come on, one more.
This feels... Yeah!
Not Kim. That's gonna
be her new nickname.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay, I like this.
- I'll see you later.
- Alright.
Okay. She's great.
No, she's...
As you get to know her,
she gets better.
(Lights buzzing)
Alright, anything you want,
it's on me,
but mostly because
I bartend here part time
and can get free drinks
for my pals.
- Oh!
- Yeah!
Okay, well, in that case, I probably
should've ordered top shelf.
I don't want this
measly peasant...
Mm-hmm. You can't have that.
That's so expensive.
I can't afford...
(Laughing)
I'm kidding.
Oh. Ha!
You know what, maybe you should
leave the jokes to the professionals.
Touch.
So wait, how did today go?
She is open to a possible date.
Yes! I knew it!
We are getting back together!
No, no. But... But, hey...
But you have to make
some changes.
What's the feedback?
Okay, Pete, real talk.
Yeah.
I've seen you on stage,
I've talked to Kim and I've hung
out with you enough myself now.
And what I can tell you is,
you kind of have a tendency
to take over a conversation
and not listen. Wait, what?
Sometimes, it seems like you're
just busy thinking of your next bit.
(Footsteps approaching)
Wait, I...
Sorry to interrupt,
but the girlie is right.
Ha! Madeline?!
What are you still doing here?
I stopped by to see your show,
but I had to step out
and make a deal.
But Pete, she's right,
you're a known scene stealer.
I'm sorry, Trina, this is
my agent, Madeline Cross.
- Yeah. Pleasure.
- Hi, I'm the girlie.
Listen, this is the reason
I'm having trouble
getting you and the troupe
auditions for TV execs.
You're cute, you're charming,
but they don't want to see you
unless you can be
part of a team,
part of an ensemble.
I have a few ideas
that could help.
Please. Help a lady out.
Bye.
She's such a sweetheart.
She seems lovely.
Okay. Come to the pier tomorrow
and we'll do some lessons.
Lessons? What do you mean,
like boyfriend school?
Yeah, I guess
you could call it that.
Boyfriend school it is.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
Okay, so the first thing we need to do
is teach you how to be a better listener.
You have to learn to really
listen to people's words.
Okay. Words, got it.
Piece of cake.
- So, when you're on a date...
- Mm-hmm.
- What do you usually talk about?
- Uh, I don't know.
You know, I give them
a compliment
about something
they're wearing or whatever,
and then I'll say
an adorable joke
so I look charming
and they like me.
Okay, we're really gonna have to
make lemonade out of this one.
But while you're charming them,
do you ever ask
what they actually want?
Uh... No.
Not really.
I kind of just sit there
and hope for sparks.
Okay. Sparks are one thing.
But a lifelong partnership
is a totally other thing.
So, Pete, what do you want?
I definitely want my own show.
With Ken and Emily,
making people laugh.
I'd love to buy my mom a house
with a bunch of jasmine bushes.
She loves the time of year when
they really bloom, you know.
She calls it the Jas Show.
(Laughing)
- She sounds funny.
- She's hilarious.
Okay, so what does Kim want?
- I don't know.
- Okay.
When I ask you what you want,
you can give me this long
detailed answer.
If I ask you what Kim wants,
you have no idea.
Because I was never
really listening.
Yes. Yeah. Okay?
Okay, when she's talking to you,
you just really have to focus,
just look in her eyes,
really listen.
It's gonna make you hear
what she's saying better,
and she's gonna feel like
she has your full attention.
And, if she feels like
she has my full attention,
then she'll love me again.
And if you find yourself
getting distracted...
No, no! Case in point!
Sorry. I'm joking.
(Laughing)
If you find yourself
getting distracted,
you just repeat back to her
what she just said.
Oh, okay, okay. So it's
kind of like "yes, anding".
Yeah, whatever gets you there.
- Okay.
- You feel like you're ready?
Because Kim
has confirmed your date.
Yes, I am.
And don't forget to have fun.
It's what you do best.
(Upbeat music)
Mmm. Man, who would have thought these
sushi burrito milkshakes would be so tasty!
- I did.
- Exactly.
I listened to you and
that's why we're here today.
Look, Pete. I told Trina I'd be
open talking to you, but that's it.
You really put me in a bad
position at the cafe.
Everyone was staring
and taking videos.
And that is not the kind
of content I like to put out.
I'm sorry.
And I told you numerous times
that I do not want
to get married.
What? When?
When we were at VidCon,
then again when we were
at ComicCon,
and twice when we were
at WeddingCon.
To be fair, my mother
got us those tickets. So I...
Look, I want to apologize.
Okay? I got caught up in all
the emotion of that night.
The restaurant was so romantic,
I mean, you looked beautiful,
like always,
and that dessert
was just so delicious!
Yeah, it was pretty delicious.
I know it took me a long time
to bring you to this place
and I'm sorry about that.
I mean, is there anything else
that you wanna do together?
Well, there is this super cool
Bonobo preserve in Iowa.
They taught them
all sign language and...
I mean, it's pretty cool, so...
Did you just ask me a question
and start texting
while I answered?
Why am I even here?
No, no. Look...
I was just writing them down
so that I didn't forget them.
You see?
Oh.
Babe, is that really how you
think you spell "Des Moines"?
(Chuckling)
No, I mean, I feel like
it's like... Isn't it two "S"?
Hi, Valentine.
You hungry?
(Phone chiming)
Okay, so what's this evening's
lesson, teach?
Okay, well,
you've listened with your ears.
Now, it's time to listen
with your eyes.
I think your biology classes
must have been
much different than mine.
(Laughing)
No!
It's just noticing
non-verbal cues, body language.
No, I do know that.
I just think...
With Kim,
I forgot along the way.
People don't always tell you
directly what they want.
Sometimes, you have to notice.
The eye contact.
The hair flips.
I think she likes him.
Mmhmm.
Those two like each other.
And he's sweating,
he must've just finished a game.
And she brought him water.
She noticed.
She saw what he needed,
she anticipated
what he might want,
and she took action.
Oh, she even put a lime
in the water.
- Spa water. Am I right?
- Oh, unbeatable.
- Cucumber, mint.
- Even brought her a flower.
This guy's good.
Mmhmm.
It's the little things.
Yeah.
It's noticing
what your partner might want,
what they might need.
It's not just about
how they make you feel...
It's how you make them feel.
(Soft music)
I'm sorry again
for showing up unannounced.
When we were drinking
our milkshakes,
I noticed that your pop socket
was broken,
and I know how much
you love selfies.
So I got you a new one
with the super grip.
(Chuckling)
(gasping)
Oh my gosh.
Does this have a picture
of one of my selfies on it?
Yeah. Only the best.
That is so thoughtful.
Thank you!
Don't mention it.
Okay, business loans,
here we come.
Hello everybody.
Thank you for coming.
As they say, time is money,
so let's get right to it.
Here are my three essential steps
to getting the best business loan.
There's more than one kind of
business loan... (Phone chiming)
(video continues indistinctly)
(phone chiming)
Okay.
(Phone chiming)
(phone chiming)
(sighing)
And that was number three.
As I said, you've got to have
equity or you have nothing.
Now let's take a 15-minute break
and move onto ancillary
funding options.
(Phone chiming)
Okay, and now, it is time
for "Scenes from a Hat."
Where we do scenes from a hat!
(Laughing)
- I got this.
- I will be an accountant.
I have a broken heart.
(Crowd exclaiming)
And I am a nurse.
(Laughing)
(exclaiming)
(laughing)
Oh, I need a doctor!
My heart is broken!
I'm a doctor.
I have a Ph.D. in finance.
And I can give you
a variable interest rate
on your heart's growth rate,
index rate.
(Laughing)
Growth! That's just
what I'm looking for.
Nurse, do you happen to have
anything for the pain?
Please, someone get this man
three beers, stat.
Oh, God!
And two Tequila sh*ts.
(Laughing)
(applause)
k*lled it.
- Hey! That was really good!
- Thank you so much!
Thank you for coming!
Of course! You're welcome.
Oh, oh! I have huge news.
(Trina): Okay...
Tonight, in the audience was
a scout for a Late Night show
and he loved your work.
He did?
Yes. So he's gonna send out
the show's booker.
So whatever it is you're doing,
keep doing it.
That goes for both of you.
- Hey, thank you for coming.
- Yeah!
Hey, that is so exciting.
I know! I can't believe it!
I know. Oh!
Wait, speaking of exciting...
Okay.
We've already sold
a ton of tickets.
And I asked a few other friends
to join the bill.
It's looking good.
You're really taking this
seriously.
Yeah, well, of course. I
wouldn't have a sh*t
at Late Night if it weren't for you.
Oh...
And plus, it was our deal.
And I...
I know how important
it is to you.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
How do you do improv anyway?
I mean, it's actually
not that hard.
You want me to teach you?
Another time. I have
to go home and feed my fish.
He's diabetic.
Hmm. Gotcha.
Well, you know, the cool thing
about improv
is I can kind of teach it
anywhere. So...
Alright, well, he's hungry.
Let's go.
- Yeah?
- Yeah. Come meet my fish.
- Yes!
- Yeah, come meet my fish.
I thought you'd never ask.
Okay, you ready?
No.
This is improv 101
with your boy Pete Sanders.
- Okay.
- Okay, so I'm gonna shout out
a suggestion,
you're gonna build off it
by "yes anding" and adding
another layer to the scene.
Okay. Wait, no.
I don't think
I like this reversal
where you're teaching me things.
Doesn't feel right.
Oh, how the tables have turned.
(Laughing)
No, wait, that's it.
That's the prompt.
Yeah. "How the tables
have turned."
Come on, on your feet,
we're doing this! Come on!
- Oh! Ah!
- Come on!
- Okay.
- Come on.
I feel nervous.
I feel nervous. I'm not ready.
(Exhaling deeply)
Okay, be in the moment.
Don't overthink it.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Overthinking is kind of
what I do.
It's just who I am.
Please don't try to change me.
Listen, look...
Hey, you got this.
Okay.
- Okay?
- No.
- Yes.
- Ah! Okay.
- Let's try again.
- I'm gonna go.
No, no, no.
We're trying again.
Give it one more sh*t.
Okay.
The tables have turned!
(Clears throat)
Okay, ahem!
The tables have turned.
Yes, and...
I... shall stand on them.
(Laughs)
Well, no, the "yes, and"
is more of a metaphorical thing.
Okay.
So you're just gonna...
You're gonna take the suggestion
and you're just gonna make
something of it, okay?
Like if I came into
the scene and I said,
"The tables have turned,"
you can't come in and be like,
"No, they haven't," because
that would ruin "the game."
- And people pay you for this?
- No enough, okay?
Now stop avoiding. Come on.
Okay? Your prompt is,
"The tables have turned." Go.
Uh...
(Clears throat)
Uh... Frank... Frank!
The tables have been turned.
When I left, they were
upside down,
and now, they are right side up.
Great! Great! Okay, and now,
as your scene partner,
I'm gonna build off of it.
- Okay, okay.
- So, uh...
Oh! It must have been
that new turntable I bought.
Uh... um... Turn table?
What is that? A robot?
(Robot sounds)
Ooh!
(Laughing)
I am the Turntable 2000.
I am here to turn your tables,
so they stay... turned.
Uh, um...
Turntable, thank you.
Turn this table.
(Robot sounds)
(Trina laughs)
- Turned!
- Ah! Whoo!
Um, and now, maybe that pot.
(Robot sounds)
Turned, turned!
Don't turn that!
Don't turn that!
You can't keep turning
everything.
Malfunction error. Error.
(Trina shouts)
Turn! Turn! Error, error.
Something's wrong
with my software.
Turn, turn!
(Laughter)
And scene!
Oh, my goodness!
I don't know... I do not know
how you do that every night!
I think I should, uh...
I should probably stick
with my restaurant.
I should, uh...
I should probably go.
I gotta get some rest. I have
rehearsal in the morning.
I haven't had that much fun
in a really long time.
Maybe since I even opened
the restaurant, so thank you.
For working so hard for it.
And me.
I can see why you love it
so much.
It's a really,
really special place.
Yeah.
Um...
(Chuckles)
I don't really know
what I'd do without it.
I should probably also...
Thank Paulo for bringing you in.
- Ah, maybe... just a...
- Yeah.
I don't know what I'd do without
him either. He's a big help.
Don't ever tell him that.
I won't. Scout's honour.
(Laughing)
- I'll walk you out.
- Yeah. Yeah.
(Grunts in effort)
Well, A-plus for you.
Good job.
- Thank you! Okay.
- Alright. Um... goodnight.
(Indistinct chatter)
(utensils clinking)
Wrong champagne to table 8,
wrong ring in the champagne
glass at table nine!
(Crew): Sorry, boss!
(Plate breaking)
That wasn't me.
Oh! Nice!
Ooh... So...
How'd things go with Trina?
- You mean Kim?
- No, I mean Trina.
You mean her helping me out
with Kim?
Yeah, yeah, I mean that.
- Uh... things are great.
- That's what I thought.
I mean, I don't know, man. We did, uh...
have a weird moment, last night.
Oh, oh, oh!
Now gimme that.
Ooh! Gotta move
your feet, son.
Spicy! It's spicy.
What? You and Kim?
Nah. Nah, me and Trina.
Ah, I see.
(Grunts)
You know what? It's probably
just a post-show high,
your adrenaline's pumping,
all those jalapenos poppers.
Uh... you're right.
(Laughter)
It's probably just
the adrenaline,
but no, man,
she's pretty cool, though.
I was just feeling good.
Yeah, not for long!
(Laughing)
(grunting in effort)
You like that?
That was nice. That was nice.
Let me give you
some love advice, man.
What? From you? No.
I may not be
an expert in love, but...
Lemme ask you this.
How do you feel
when you're with Kim?
I feel great. Yeah.
And how do you feel
when you're with Trina?
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
(Imitates his laugh)
sh**t the ball... I didn't say
anything. Just sh**t the ball.
Great to hear. We're so happy
that we could make
your engagement story perfect.
I just wish we could make
even more couples as happy
as we made you... but we may
not be around for much longer.
Ooh! You... heard about
the fundraiser?
Oh... you wanna make a donation?
Oh my God! Um... just make out
the check to Cafe of Love...
- Incorporated.
- Incorporated!
Thank you.
Thank you! Thank you!
What, what, what?
The couple that got engaged
here last week is donating 20K!
- No!
- Yes!
(Shouting excitedly)
That is so incredible!
(Cheering)
What am I interrupting here?
- Me being amazing.
- Oh, per usual.
Paulo just got us
a massive donation
for buying the building.
What?!
Yeah. Yeah!
(Singing)
That is amazing!
Congrats, man. Yeah!
Ahem...
Your... hands are soft.
- I Moisturize.
- I... um...
Yeah... I'm gonna...
We should get started, so..
Yeah. Yeah, definitely.
Yeah, if you could grab
an apron.
Okay. Cool. Do you need one?
- Sure. Yeah, thank you.
- Got you. Got you.
Okay...
Alright, Pete Sanders
with the assist!
Ah!
This is gonna be a long day.
Sorry. I'm just having
too much fun, so...
What, come on. Tell me,
what are we doing in here?
Okay, well this is
your big lesson.
You've already mastered
listening and body language,
and now, this is the final step
to help you seal the deal.
- Hm. To start...
- Well, no, no! Hey! Focus!
- Sorry.
- No, no, no.
That's going out of reach.
Oh, my God, Trina!
That is so good.
Oh, thank you.
But that's staying out of
your reach.
You can't be trusted.
(Trina clears throat)
Okay, so Pete,
tell me where you think
you went wrong in your proposal.
My gosh, I don't, uh...
What happened was
you weren't prepared.
You rushed it,
and you acted on impulse.
Yeah, no, you're right.
That's... that's true.
Okay... so I'm going
to teach you
to make my famous
Triple Love cupcakes.
It's gonna take
a lot of patience,
a ton of attention to detail...
And just the right touch.
I'm here to learn.
First we prepare.
Uh, grab an egg.
Yes, ma'am.
Swakata!
Ooh!
- Okay, so...
- Uh, just...
- Do you want to do it?
- No, uh...
Do you wanna...
You wanna try?
Oh, I can do. I used
to make muffins with my mother
every Saturday morning.
Check this out.
One hand.
Then one-hander!
I'm impressed. Not bad.
Pretty good. Swish!
You're gonna have
to clean that up.
Oh, sorry.
Okay, so first, you have
to pour the batter.
- Okay.
- Two-thirds full in each one.
- Uh-huh.
- Now, look,
I know it can be mesmerizing.
(Indistinct chatter)
(soft music)
Okay, I'm ready!
Bring on the sugar high!
Okay, well now, we have
to bake them.
- Okay.
- You can open.
Oh, I gotta put it in the oven.
Bottom rack.
Oh! No, no, no, no!
Watched batter never rises.
It's watched pot never boils.
Okay? You try to be fancy...
(Indistinct chatter)
1001... 1002...
1003... 1004... 1005...
1006... Finally!
Oh, okay!
This took forever. And now!
No! No, no, no, no! No,
you have to let them cool.
Oh, my goodness. You need
so much patience baking.
What are you, a monk?
Oh, I'd be a good monk.
Now? It's gotta be now.
No! No, no, no!
Oh, Pete!
Pete!
Argh!
Okay, um... hang on,
I'm just gonna get some ice.
Ah, I'm sorry. Argh!
(Exhales)
Ah...
Are you okay?
Is that better?
Yeah, no, it's good.
Thank you.
Okay, keep your hand in here.
I've, uh... got a few burns
in my time.
Yeah, I'm sure.
Okay. Um...
Okay. You're okay.
So the key ingredient
to any burn...
- Mm-hmm.
- It's first aid 101.
- Okay...
- A little aloe.
I'll spread that...
(Mumbling)
Okay. And...
Then just a bandage, and...
Tell me if it's too tight.
Is that okay?
Yeah.
Feels much much better.
(Timer dinging)
Um... I guess, yeah.
They're ready now.
Yep. Yep.
We can... decorate them.
So we need icing...
And... uh...
- Yes. This way.
- Go ahead. Yeah.
No, they're not. It's... here.
Okay, and now, it's time for
the fun part: decorating.
Ooh, let's lather those up
and dig in.
It's all about the patience
that it takes
to really make
your hard work shine.
Now twist at the top...
Like this...
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Okay...
And you just apply
even pressure...
- Yeah.
- And start on the outside
and work your way in.
So just, you know...
Don't be shy.
- Okay.
- Thrown 'em on.
- I'm trying...
- Yeah.
You got it!
Oh!
Whoo!
Not bad! Okay.
Nice work. Okay.
(Both chuckle)
And... voil.
It's beautiful.
Here! This calls
for a photo op!
- Okay.
- Photo op.
(Laughing)
Why do I smell aloe
and frosting?
Um...
(Nervous chuckle)
That, uh... that is my mom.
(Pete clears throat)
Trina... are you enjoying
your iced tea?
Would you like
a Long Island version?
(Laughing)
Your father and I missed you
at the mayor's luncheon
last week.
I'm sorry. I really am,
but Mom, I've been so busy here.
We're just really
worried about you.
We heard about James
selling the building.
- How?
- Your father's the mayor.
He's had lobbyists after him
for months.
They wanna... rezone the place,
make it into luxury condos.
I think it could be cute.
Actually, uh, Trina is gonna
buy the building.
And... who are you?
I'm uh... I'm Pete.
Sanders. I'm... I'm a comedian.
Darling, we need to talk
about our schedule.
Your father is launching
his campaign for senator
next week and we need you
there with us.
We need to show the voters
our whole happy family.
Um... yeah, I'm sorry.
I've just been...
I've been really busy here.
But they're selling
the building.
And as Pete said, I'm buying it.
How are you gonna afford it?
I'm actually hosting
a fundraiser, so...
What?
No daughter of the mayor's
is having a fundraiser.
Dad literally does it
all the time.
Well, that is for
political donations.
Not because his business
is failing!
Oh! Oh! My business
is not failing.
This seems like a family
matter. I'm just gonna...
No, you can stay.
You can just sit.
- Okay. Cool.
- You can stay right there.
Dear, I know you've always
been a romantic.
And this place, it is beautiful.
Thank you.
But...
Maybe the building being sold
is a sign that this...
Little chapter
in your life is over.
And you can spend more time
with us. Where you belong.
Think about what I said.
I always do.
Well, hey, it was really nice
meeting your mom.
- No, it wasn't.
- No. No, it wasn't.
Thanks for walking off
that mom visit with me.
No problem.
(Laughing)
Hey, I... So I knew
you were Trina Segal,
but I didn't realize
your parents were the Segals.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
The very ones.
- You never said anything.
- Oh! Sorry.
Yeah, I usually introduce myself
as the longest-serving
mayor's daughter,
but I must have forgot
this time.
(Pete chuckles)
Yeah. Fair point.
Was it tough? Growing up?
Oh, yeah! Yeah, because...
Everything had to be perfect
because someone
was always watching.
If there was a hair out of place
or I wore the wrong colour...
It would be... you know...
This whole thing.
You had to have the perfect
image, otherwise,
my dad might not get
a nomination, or...
A campaign donation...
Or a daughter
who had any control
over her own life.
Yeah. Yeah... yeah.
So I learned how to plan,
how to organize and...
It's actually served me
really well.
And I created this place
where people can find
and celebrate love
and I love that!
Yeah, but what about you
and love?
I think I've spent so much
time focusing...
On, um... doing that for...
Other people...
That I haven't really carved out
the space to do it for myself.
Um, but I... I mean, I love...
I love my restaurant,
I love my work. I mean,
it's... it's just a caf.
It's not just a caf.
Before I met you,
I was a hot mess.
(Chuckling)
Now look at me!
I'm easily a lukewarm mess!
(Trina laughing)
Meh... maybe tepid.
No, but seriously...
Because of you, I...
I'm a better listener,
I'm a better partner,
I got a TV audition.
You know, who knows?
They might even throw me
into whatever
they're filming over here!
Hm... it's probably
just a cheesy rom com.
Ooh... those are so sweet.
I love those movies.
(Both chuckling)
I'm sure you do. That doesn't
surprise me at all.
Well... maybe I should
give them my headshot.
Hey... did you mean it
when you said you thought
all that stuff
was because of me?
Yes. 100%.
Well, I mean... you weren't...
You weren't that bad
to begin with.
I wasn't?
(Trina giggles)
No, you... you are funny.
- Here, watch your step.
- Thank you.
(Laughing)
I've heard being funny
is a good thing.
- Oh, it is.
- Hm.
(Pete sighs)
It's been... eight hours.
I should... feed Valentine.
Yeah, no, I should go.
I'm meeting Ken and Emily
to rehearse.
- For the fundraiser.
- Yeah.
- Yeah. Okay. Um, see you then.
- See ya.
(Soft music)
Okay, we'll see you on Tuesday.
Okay, bye.
(Clanging)
Hey... uh...
Everything good here?
Yeah. Yes, perfect, boss.
So yeah, blue, yellow,
sprinkles, yellow.
No. No, absolutely not.
Yellow's always in the middle.
It's the most cheerful.
Don't worry. Gotta let
our staff grow.
For example,
I'm managing just fine.
I think the real question here
is how are you doing?
Fine. Fine. Uh, the fundraiser
is coming along, so...
- Oh, I'm sure it is.
- What is that supposed to mean?
You know what? The sugar is out
of place over here. Uh...
(Chuckling nervously)
You can't...
You can't operate like this,
it's... it's a system, and um...
What?
I saw the security cameras
after you made that cupcake
with Pete.
Anymore sparks and I would have
needed a fire extinguisher.
Okay, well... of course
there were sparks.
I was making my Triple Love
cupcakes with him.
Those cupcakes are solely
responsible for about...
4,397 perfectly documented
first dates,
and 307 enthusiastic
engagements.
I am incredible at my job.
Well, we've made that dessert
a million times
and I haven't felt anything.
Look, Pete is just here
because he wants to get back
together with Kim, okay? And I
am just trying to save our caf.
That's it! That is all
that's going on.
Okay.
(Phone chiming)
Oh, see? I am about
to meet with Kim
to go and seal the deal
for them.
Would I be doing that if I had
any feelings for Pete at all?
(Gasps)
I didn't say
anything about feelings?
I was talking about attraction.
Do you have feelings for him?
Uh... it's...
(Chuckling)
Just a... I'm gonna go.
I'm not doing this.
I'm not. I'm leaving.
Of course. Avoiding. Avoiding!
Uh... that needs more icing.
Sure, sure. Have a good day.
Are these popping off?
I feel like they're popping off?
Yeah, just at the corners,
but I mean... I can...
Truly, I don't know
what I'm doing.
I've never done this before.
Sorry. Sorry...
I double booked. I'm in the middle
of reviewing eyebrow products,
I need this to be really quick.
Yeah. Um... Sure, uh...
(Chuckles)
Things seem like they're going
really well with you and Pete,
and I just wanted to come by and see
how you were feeling about everything.
It's been great. Been
wonderful, actually, with Pete.
Thank you for stopping by.
(Phone chiming)
Yeah... Uh...
Actually, why don't you stay?
I think you should stay.
You've got... I mean,
you've got the deadline.
No, no. It's not important. I actually
have some lemonade you should try.
It's... the new recipe.
Oh, I...
Water, sugar, lemons...
Lots of lemons.
That's new?
Thank you.
I looked up this recipe
on the internet.
Who would have known,
so much treasure on there.
Yeah. Yep. The internet
is full of wonderful things.
Well, paid for all this.
So you want some
undereye brightener?
Okay, yeah.
Sounds perfect.
Right in the inner corners.
- Okay?
- There you go! Perfect.
So, uh... circling back
to why... why I... I, uh, came.
Can I chalk you and Pete up
for one of my successes?
Honestly... it's weird.
Weird how?
I really thought
I knew what I wanted.
I make my own money.
I have fans all over the world.
And Pete's always been
a great guy. You know... fun.
Definitely.
Before, I thought
that's all he was. Fun.
But I think he might
be a bit more.
You're welcome.
With Pete, he wasn't
a long-term plan, but...
I'm starting to wonder if maybe
I should be with him.
What do you think I should do?
- Me?
- Yes!
I wouldn't even be
thinking about this stuff
if it weren't for you.
Well, that's a good point.
(Phone chiming)
Oh, I gotta wash this off!
Come follow me in the house.
Okay...
Wow! So... so the internet
really does pay well, huh?
It really, really does.
Wow!
- Time for the big reveal!
- Never been so excited.
- So what do you think?
- Oh, uh...
Wow, yeah. I mean,
slightly uneven, but bold.
About Pete.
Um...
(Chuckles)
Uh... Yeah, I think... I mean...
I think that...
(Clears throat)
I think he is kind
and... and, um...
And thoughtful... and...
A very good friend.
And I think that, um...
You two are gonna be really
happy together.
(Phone buzzing)
Oh, your, uh...
Your phone is ringing.
Just turn it off.
I'll check it later.
It's Paulo.
Oh, it's from Paulo.
Emergency:
Keep Trina there longer?
You've been... you've been
keeping me here?
Is that... is that... Why you did the...
makeup and the lemonade?
He is so weird. I don't know
why he said that.
"There's a fire
at the caf..."
There's a fire
at the caf?! There...
There is a fire at the caf.
(Sirens wailing)
Okay...
(Exhales)
Is everyone okay?
Yep.
- Are you okay?
- Yes.
What are you doing
at my restaurant?
What are you doing here?
What do you think happens
if I leave this brown tint
on too long?
Right. No... wrong time
to ask that question.
- It's not as bad as it looks.
- Okay, what happened?
They say they don't know.
No. You left a candle burning
too close to the drapes.
- You're fired!
- Paulo!
Yes! Unemployment!
No, I... No, no, no, no!
You are not fired.
We will still need you to come
and work. Thank you.
Okay... look, this...
Is why I never leave the
restaurant. This is what happens
when I let things go
out of my control.
Trina!
Watch out, lady.
You okay? Paulo texted me.
Pete?
Kim! I... what...
What are you doing here?
Were you just gonna run through
fire to save innocent people?
Well, I was hoping for just
smoke, but... but yeah.
Oh, baby. You are a real-life
superhero. Come here.
Well, uh... oh...
What's happening?
I'm... trying to figure
that out too.
Hi, fans. It's Kim
and I just saw Man of the hour,
@PeteSanders
almost run through a burning
building for me.
Okay, what...
What is happening now?
Who out there thinks
it's time I lock down
this real-life superhero?
Who am I kidding?
Of course I should.
Here he is.
Pete...
Um...
Love of my life...
Will you marry me?
I... I, uh... Um...
- Well?
- I... I gotta go.
- Pete!
(Trina): What?
- Pete?
- What?
- Go, go, go.
- Yeah.
You know what...
This was your first proposal.
Right?
Thanks.
This fire wasn't as exciting
as I thought it'd be.
What is wrong with you?
I don't know! She just
put me on the spot.
Oh... just like you did
when you did the exact same
thing to her two weeks ago.
Yeah, well... nobody
said I was smart.
Pete... Pete. I thought this
was what you wanted. Kim back.
Yeah, I did.
I do, but... I...
But now it's just...
(Sighs)
What?
It just doesn't feel the same
as it used to.
Well...
What is...
What does it feel like?
I, um...
I gotta sh**t some hoops.
Uh! What?
Your layup does need work.
Okay...
What happened with Pete?
I don't know.
Is he still gonna do
the fundraiser?
Ooh. I don't know.
What is happening with Kim?
I definitely don't know.
Hi, hi! I need to file
a missing person's report.
Well, I just proposed to my
boyfriend and he disappeared.
Height? I don't know his height!
He's tall. Just really tall.
(Trina): Okay...
Um...
We do have to keep this off
of social media
because if our landlord
finds out... we are toast.
(Phone buzzing)
I think he just found out.
Thanks. Thanks, Paulo.
Thank you.
(Indistinct radio communication)
(clears throat)
Hi, James.
I got a call from
the security company?
Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Uh...
It's just a grease fire.
- Grease fire?!
- Um... probably.
Not even any damage.
I'm sorry, Trina, the insurance
on this is gonna k*ll me.
I can't take any chances.
I've got to put the building
on the market.
James... James, don't, please.
Okay, please don't.
You said you were gonna...
Give me till the end
of the month, okay?
And... I've almost got
the money together.
I'm sorry, Trina.
(Beep!)
Okay...
Okay, um...
What about those donors?
Can they make up the rest?
Trina... it won't be enough.
Okay. Gimme that.
(Grunts in effort)
- Zip!
- Zap!
Zap! Hey! Pete?
Pete?
Oh, uh...
- Zap!
- Uh... zap.
Argh!
I'm going for a soda.
I just remembered,
we don't have any soda.
Guys, I'm sorry.
I'm here!
Every day is a gift.
(Clears throat)
(exhales)
And I am the present.
Let's go. Let's start over.
First of all, that's not
how the saying goes,
and second of all, what is going
on with you, man?
What is going on with you, man?
- Nothing! I'm fine!
- Nothing. He's fine.
Well, he doesn't look fine.
You're doing squats
when you should be doing
the Booppity bop bop bop.
Okay, but you're the one who said we
need to be doing warm-up exercises.
Not squats! Pete... Look,
come on, buddy. The booker.
Madeline said the booker's
coming tomorrow.
- Ah...
- And so we need to prepare.
They're not just looking at you.
They're looking at Emily, me...
And also you.
Dude, I'm prepared!
I'm prepared.
Okay, so please stop
doomscrolling pictures of Kim!
I'm not doomscrolling
pictures of...
- Yes, you are!
- Hey, come on!
- Oh... oops, dude! Done!
- Okay, that's...
- I'm sorry. Sorry.
- Expensive.
- Ah! Cute picture!
- Emily...
Oh, is this why you've been
so distracted lately?
Oh, my gosh. I knew that there
was a little something there
when I met her the other day.
Good for you, buddy. Huh?
- Aw, it is cute.
- Right?
- But can we focus, please now?
- Yes.
Okay, okay, okay.
- Okay! Zip!
- Zap!
Zap! Pete, hey! Zap...
- Yo!
- Zap!
- Uh... Zah!
- Okay.
I'm going for a soda!
I forgot. Again.
We don't have any soda.
Are we doing groundhog day?
What's going on, here?
(Car beeping)
(soft music)
Hey, Ken.
I, uh...
I need you guys' help
with something.
Kim, I owe you an apology.
You were clear.
When we got together,
you told me you didn't want
anything serious.
You know, you said you never
wanted to get married.
Mm-hmm. Now you listen.
But I pushed it anyways
because I was so focused
on my own feelings that...
I didn't stop to think
about yours.
The truth is...
You deserve someone who
can give you what you want.
I guess you're right.
I always knew I wanted
to be free and easy and...
That was...
That was never gonna be us.
Didn't even put your
pop socket on your phone.
I'm sorry.
That was a jerk move.
(Laughing)
(pop song)
Do you remember
the Weingartners?
She was German.
He was American.
And the only language
they both spoke was French.
He had us create
a Parisian cityscape
out of cheese with a banner
on the Eiffel Tower that said,
"Will you marry me?" in French?
Mm-hmm.
At least we'll...
Always have mini Paris.
Oh...
Oh, l'amour!
(Chuckling)
Hmm...
What are you gonna do now?
Uh, you know, I always kind of
wanted to start a food truck,
so... Do people still
like pudding?
Definitely not.
Yeah, I kind of didn't think so.
I, uh...
I owe you an apology.
I should have listened to you.
I was... over confident
and so overeager
to do things my way that...
I didn't really manage
anything at all.
I'm so... so sorry.
Hey... it's okay.
I know it was an accident.
Silver lining is...
Now we have less to pack up.
(Scoffs)
Hey, I'm sorry too.
I was so controlling.
I always thought
you were so crazy,
micromanaging everyone
and nit-picking.
I mean, uh... we could just...
Leave that one there.
- You're sure about that?
- My way might be the best way,
it's just not the only way!
- So what...
- Aaah!
Pete! You're... here.
Oh yeah. Where else are we
gonna do the fundraiser?
Is the...
It's still happening?
The caf isn't quite ready.
Wait, hold up. Was there a
time when it wasn't happening?
Hey, you know what?
It's all good.
We'll just uh... improvise.
That's kind of our thing.
You asked me what
I wanted out of life...
And uh... I thought about it.
I want to be the guy that's there
for the people he cares about.
Okay...
(Clears throat)
Well, I will get
the high risers.
Maybe you can go to the...
No, no, no. Shh! No.
It's time for you to let people
look out for you, for a change.
Now, if you'll excuse me. Ken?
- What?
- Ken.
Really? I did not sign up
for this. I see what it is...
Emily... you know what to do.
- Spotlight!
- What she said!
(Uptempo music)
(Pete): You guys ever seen all the
Snickers commercials where they become...
That's literally her!
On every single road trip!
(Applause, laughing)
Ha, ha! Okay, now...
Tonight
has been a very important cause
that I think is extremely
worth your time.
And your cash.
(Laughing)
- Good one, Ken.
- I'm serious.
- He's very serious.
- Very serious.
- Very serious.
- This is acting seriousness.
Got the chills from
all this seriousness.
(Laughing)
Anyways, without further ado...
Welcome to the dating game,
which is where we pick
one lucky lonely contestant
and we give him a chance
or her a chance to find love!
Now let's start...
Let's feel the audience.
Who is worthy of the stage?
Is it you, sir?
No. Is it you, ma'am?
Maybe not. Is it... Paulo!
(All): Paulo!
- Get up here.
- Come on!
(Applause)
Whoo!
(Cheering)
Alright, now, if you can
just stand there.
What Paulo is gonna do is...
He's gonna interview us,
trying to figure out
who we are and if he wants
to take us on some wonderful
imaginary date,
by asking us questions
that have been written down
by our beautiful
audience members.
- Yes.
- Bachelor one...
- Yes.
- Where would you take me
on our first date?
Well... first... to a field,
where we would have
a romantic dinner.
But... no steak.
(Laughing)
And if you're good...
I'll take you back to my stall.
Yes... and we can graze
a little.
I know, I guess, uh...
Maybe we'll hop
in my Lamborghini
and I'll just g*n it to sixth
gear and just never stop.
I'll pick up some
McDonald's on the way.
We're not stopping...
(High-pitched voice):
Okay, so...
I will take you to my workplace
where we make chocolates
and when kids are bad,
they get sucked into a tunnel
and turn into blueberries!
Wait, what? Hold on.
That's not the right thing.
Oh! Okay, I see
what I did here.
I read this card wrong. See,
I read Oompa Loompa band member...
But it was Oom-Pah-Pah
band member.
Okay...
I'll think I'll pick...
Bachelor number one!
(Ken whinnies)
Who was that?
You were a cow with
a very very sexy voice?
Close enough, yes!
(Laughter)
Alright, everybody,
this has been a wonderful night.
Now I just need your help
in inviting one more person
to the stage, without whom this
night would not be possible.
(Applause)
Trina Segal!
Oh!
(Cheering)
Thank you.
Alright... now we have time
for one more sketch game.
And with this one,
we're gonna take this over
the edge and save the caf!
Alright! Now can you please
take a seat, my dear?
Uh, yes. And?
(Laughing)
She's getting the hang
of this, guys.
Alright, now, in this game,
we're gonna be a couple
on a date. Okay?
You can just be you,
and I will be...
A doofus that gets tongue-tied
around women.
Dude. We said we weren't gonna
do sketches about Ken anymore!
Wow! Zing! Okay...
- I'm so sorry.
- Am I just a punchline?
Um... but anyways, uh... I'm gonna need the
audience's help on this one, though, okay?
You're gonna have
to help me figure out
what I'm gonna say to Trina.
So anytime I raise my hand,
you guys shout out a suggestion,
okay, got it?
(Emily): Got it.
- So let's try it. Ready?
(Emily): Go.
- And...
- You look beautiful tonight.
- Oh, Emily, that's so sweet.
But I'm trying to figure out
what to say to Trina!
I appreciate it.
I'm not talking to you, dude.
- Oh!
- Oh...
Okay, my bad, alright.
But yeah... she is right.
You do look beautiful tonight,
but uh...
Well, you always look beautiful.
These past few weeks
with you have been, uh...
- Unexpected.
- Messy.
Wonderful.
You've, uh... taught me how
to be a better listener,
how to be a better person.
And, uh... yeah, you asked me
how I saw my life
the next five or ten years.
Yeah, nobody knows what
the future holds, but...
I know what it is that I want
in mine for sure.
And that is...
- You.
- You.
You.
You love love.
I love you.
So...
Will you... go out with me?
- Yes, I will.
- Yes?
And...
I will always b*at you
at basketball.
- I mean, that's just a lie.
- Any chance I get.
We'll see, we'll see.
I'll give you that.
We did it!
We made it to our goal!
(Cheering)
Wait, what? We did it?
We did it!
You can buy the building!
- You did it!
- Oh...
(Crowd cheering)
(soft music)
Proposal Spot, The (2023)
Moderator: Maskath3
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