Transcripts - Forever Dreaming

(suspenseful music)

(festive music)

(electricity zapping)

(festive music continues)

(light jingling music)

(bell jingling)

- [Reporter] We interrupt this

evening of Christmas music

for a late breaking news report.

A patient from St. Catherine

Mental Asylum has escaped.

He was last seen wearing

an orange jumpsuit

and the Santa Claus outfit.

He should be considered

extremely dangerous.

Police are advising

everyone to stay inside

and keep their doors

locked for the holidays.

If you see anything in your neighborhood

that looks suspicious, please contact the

local police department.

Now, back to your holiday classics.

(festive music continues)

(g*n bangs)

- Oh, it makes the mighty nice boom sound.

Now look, I know what you're thinking.

Just another crazy guy

in a Santa Claus suit.

Christmas isn't always cracked up

to be the old fat man's kind of an assh*le

You see, Christmas has a

dark side, a very dark side.

And tonight you're gonna hear about it.

Do you like fairytales?

'Cause I got a great story

or do to tell you tonight.

Yes I do, sweetie.

(g*n bangs)

Don't be scared.

Did you say something? Speak up.

- No.

- No what?

- I didn't say anything.

- You know, fairytales do

come true, even the bad ones.

And tonight-

- Please just let me go.

- Let you go?

We're just getting started.

You know, they made old Hans Trap leave.

You ever heard old Hans Trap?

You see, love, Hans Trap was

a bit of a Satan worshiper,

but other than that, he

wasn't such a bad guy.

You see, old Hans Trap, he liked meat.

He liked human meat.

See, he liked to dress up like a scarecrow

and hang out in the fields

waiting for his victims.

And then at the end of every

October, he'd come down

and he'd get the guys

on Santa's naughty list.

And you may or may not

be on that list, love.

(suspenseful music)

It's harvest season and the

scarecrows coming sweetie.

(ominous music)

- [Narrator] "The Christmas Boogeyman."

The legend of Hans Trap.

The legend of the Christmas

scarecrow is a well-known tale

in the French regions.

Hans Trap, according to the

story, lived in the 1400s,

a rich and powerful man who

was feared by the people.

His life was taken over by debauchery,

and his goal was to enrich

himself by all means necessary.

It was said that he worshiped the devil,

and he used black magic to

obtain his wealth and power.

Hearing of this, the Catholic

church had him arrested

and brought before the Pope of Rome.

He was excommunicated from the church

for the crime of sacrilege.

Trap was banished and his

wealth and lands confiscated.

Trap was forced into the

forest of Bavaria in Germany.

There he constructed a makeshift

cabin in the mountains.

It was here where his

evil desires festered.

His anger and resentments

were intensified,

and he became more devoted to the devil.

Descending into madness,

Hans Trap had visions

of becoming a monster.

He sat around having visions

of k*lling individuals

that have done wrong.

He also became obsessed

about eating human flesh.

Finally, he became the

dreaded Christmas scarecrow.

He roamed the countryside

in his scarecrow disguise.

Trap would hide in the fields

or in the forest waiting

for the perfect victim.

One afternoon, a shepherd's

boy happened to cross paths

with Hans Trap.

Trap stabbed the unfortunate

boy with a vicious sharp stick.

With the body safely back at his cabin,

Trap sliced the boy into

pieces and roasted him.

But before he could eat, he was struck

by a divine lightning bolt and k*lled.

So they say, since that time,

Hans Trap has remained a terrifying legend

in the folklore of Germany.

Every October he goes from house

to house in his scarecrow disguise,

scaring the naughty children and adults

and drooling greedily

over their tender flesh.

It is time for the Christmas

scarecrow to roam once more.

The harvest is coming.

(ominous music)

(g*n bangs)

(g*n clicks)

(g*n bangs)

(ominous music continues)

(wind chimes dinging)

(bugs trilling)

- What does it take for a working man

to get his useless wife

to make me a drink?

Did you hear me?

It only took me twice to get you

to get your ass out here.

- I'm sorry.

- You know, you know that saying,

when I say jump, you ask how high?

Do you understand what I'm saying?

- I do.

- Yeah?

Do, do you understand what I'm saying?

- I do.

- Now get your ass out

in the f*cking kitchen

and make me a god damn drink.

f*cking useless woman.

Like the rest of her f*cking

loser useless family.

God damn cockroaches.

And she, she would be nothing.

Nothing without me. Nothing.

f*ck.

God damn, you useless woman.

What is taking you so f*cking long?

My grandma used to make me

hot cocoa faster than you.

And she had a god damn peg leg!

(eerie music)

For f*ck sake!

Are you stupid?

- I'm sorry.

- I swear you're f*cking stupid.

- Sorry, Charles. It won't happen again.

- You know, I don't

like getting this angry.

I don't like f*cking yelling at you.

I really don't.

- It's fine.

- I tell you what...

I know how you can make it up to me.

- Oh?

- Yeah.

Why don't you go upstairs,

put that special outfit on.

- Okay.

- You know the one I like.

- I do.

- [Charles] Right?

- Right, right.

- [Charles] Okay.

Let's have a nice f*cking night for once.

- Okay.

- All right?

I'm gonna go have a

smoke and then I'll be up

to give you my little present.

- Okay, I'll meet you up there.

(light dramatic music)

(bugs trilling)

You ready to unwrap those goodies?

Oh yeah.

Come on, it's showtime!

(ominous music)

(ominous music continues)

(light dramatic music)

(bugs trilling)

(Charles groaning)

(light dramatic music continues)

- Sorry, dear.

It'll never happen again, darling.

(bugs trilling)

(eerie music)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music continues)

(dramatic music continues)

(eerie music)

Oh, he comes down the chimney and shit

And crazy, Santa is an assh*le

Once he give me some

b*ll*ts for my g*n

Now, you see? Everyone

meets the reaper in the end.

And I know what you might be thinking.

What did the husband do to deserve that?

Well, he deserved it. And

I'll tell you one thing.

He didn't go to hell.

You see, even Christmas

holds its own hell.

- Will you please just let me go?

I have a little boy. It's Christmas Eve.

- Let me go, she says.

That's what I was thinking.

You see, every time someone says,

let me go when I kidnap

let him go on Christmas,

'cause it is Christmas.

Do you know what happened to the husband?

- No.

- Well, I'll tell you one thing about,

Christmas holds its own courts.

(ominous music)

- [Narrator] "Christmas Hell."

Even if one of these evil

demonic folklore characters

comes and takes your soul,

the nightmare is only beginning.

You see, even in death,

Christmas holds its own courts.

It's a place where no one

has escaped from a purgatory

for evil Christmas deeds,

and none has returned from

this holiday vacation.

Once a soul is in Christmas

hell, there is no returning.

A repeat of hell's tortures occur daily,

like a bad TV show stuck on repeat.

There is no leaving the

fires of Christmas Hell.

(light music)

Let me call you sweetheart

I'm in love with you

Let me hear you whisper

That you love me, too

Keep love light glowing

In your eyes so true

Let me call you sweetheart

I'm in love with you

(bell jingles)

Keep the love light glowing

In your eyes so true

Let me call you sweetheart

I'm in love with you

(light eerie music)

Well a grasshopper sitting

on the railroad track

Singing Polly Wolly Doodle all the day

Just picking his teeth

with a carpet tack

Singing Polly Wolly doodle all the day

Well a bumblebee simply buzz around

Singing Polly Wolly doodle all the day

Well, I lost my outfit, left it down

Singing Polly Wolly doodle all the day

Fare thee well, fare thee well

Fare thee well, my fairy fay

For I'm going to Lou'siana

For to see my Susyanna

Singing Polly Wolly doodle all the day

(upbeat music)

(victim groaning)

(victim groaning)

Well the old strange, he

was straight from the tale

Singing Polly Wolly doodle all the day

(ominous music)

- You just got m*rder*d by your wife

with that hammer that

you're carrying around.

Does that seem sane to you?

You're a f*cking slob.

You're disgusting.

You're gross, you're

weak, you're pathetic!

You f*cking sissy pansy boy.

Welcome to hell, m*therf*cker.

(victim panting)

(light dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(ominous music)

(bell jingling)

(ominous music continues)

(tense music)

- No.

This is a f*cking g*dd*mn nightmare.

This is not real.

Oh.

Stop, stop.

(suspenseful music)

There's a way out.

Get me out of this place.

(engine rumbling)

(body thuds)

(light dramatic music)

(suspenseful music)

(bells jingling)

Stop.

Stop, stop.

(victim groaning)

Stop, f*cking stop!

Stop that, damn you!

Stop!

(victim screams)

(light music)

Let me call you sweetheart

I'm in love with you

- [Reporter] As Christmas

approaches, stay safe this holiday

by keeping your doors locked

and arming yourself from the psychopath

who escaped the mental asylum.

He could be in your

neighborhood, so keep an eye out.

Police are advising not

to leave out any cookies

or milk as well.

We don't need to be feeding him.

If you do see this psycho running

around in a Santa outfit

in your neighborhood,

please call your local police

department to come deal

with the situation.

No sense getting a shotgun blast

to the chest over the holidays.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

- [Psychopath] Did you rear that?

- [Victim] No.

- There's something

out there, I'm telling you.

Did you hear that?

You want them little

Christmas elves coming

to your house tonight and

scalping your little boy?

Do ya?

- [Victim] No.

- Let me tell you one

thing about them elves.

Everyone thinks, oh, they're

up in the North Pole making

toys and being good little

things, but they're not,

they're little demonic souls

with their hats and their booties.

They make me nervous, really nervous.

They'll climb down your mouth

and get in your guts, in your eyes

and they'll eat you from the inside out.

Them little elves are next,

every single one of them.

I'm telling you, every one

of 'em is a little

packer headed d*ck face.

There ain't a single elf

in this Christmas country

that's worth talking to or

trusting for that matter.

I trusted one once.

Big f*cking mistake on my part.

Look what he did, f*cking

bit my finger right off.

Little b*stards.

I'm telling ya, they'll get ya.

And your little boy for Christmas.

Merry f*cking Christmases his head.

- [Narrator] "Santa's Little Scalper."

(light music)

Pictures of Father Christmas

portray him as a well-nourished,

bearded man dressed in a

long red fur-lined robe.

And every year he makes a list

of children throughout the world,

categorizing them according

to their behavior;

naughty or nice.

A special doll would be made

for the children whose behaviors

needed extra attention.

These dolls would be

created from the souls

of evil elves looking

to do harm in the world.

So every year one special

child would receive the demonic

doll hoping the doll can help the child

change their ways before it's too late.

(ominous music)

(haunting music)

- [Doll] You are thinking about it again.

- What?

- [Doll] You know, this fast

paced life of yours is going

to catch up to you someday.

- Yeah, maybe someday

(light music)

(phone ringing)

Hey, Mom.

I am good. How are you?

Yeah, doctor's appointment went well.

Yeah, medicine seems to be working.

I don't know.

She still says I need

to go out and socialize.

Yeah.

I did pick up something today that,

you know, might help.

Something to practice with.

(ominous music)

Yeah.

Well, thank you.

Yeah, I love you too.

All right, bye.

(haunting music)

(light music)

(bag rustling)

- [Doll] You could go out,

maybe meet some people,

you know, socialize and shit.

- I don't know.

Just not into it.

- [Doll] Your mother

would want you to try.

- Mind your own business.

- [Doll] It was only a suggestion.

(dog barks)

It's her again, isn't it?

- Yeah.

- [Doll] You like her, don't you?

- She seems nice.

- [Doll] You want to f*ck her, don't you?

You know, put your d*ck inside her.

- I'm just not into it.

- [Doll] You could ask

her on a date, you know,

a movie and dinner, then

maybe you could f*ck her.

- I told you, just not into it.

I'm not her type.

- [Doll] What type would that be?

- You know, good looking, wealthy.

Has a job, his own car, his own house.

I'm none of those things.

- [Doll] You should still try to f*ck her.

You told your mother you would try.

- I'm just not into it.

I dunno, maybe I could

get a hobby or something.

- [Doll] That's a good idea.

Then you could meet people

with similar interests.

- Yeah, but I don't really

know what I would be into.

- [Doll] Well, how about hiking?

- No hiking.

- [Doll] Golf.

- No golf.

- [Doll] How about bowling?

Everyone seems to like bowling.

- No bowling.

- [Doll] All right, then.

What about building

something like a bird house

or model kits?

I am pretty good with my hands.

(eerie music)

(dog barks)

(door squeaks)

(light music)

(plastic rustling)

(ominous music)

- [Doll] Was it something I said?

- No.

- [Doll] This is unlike you.

- Shut up.

- [Doll] Why don't you hike to the store

to get some glue for my arm?

- Shut up, at least I'm doing something!

- [Doll] Your mother will not

be happy with your decision.

(light music)

You are pretty stupid.

- What?

- [Doll] It's funny.

- What's funny?

- [Doll] It's meat.

It'll never last.

It rots.

(doll laughs)

(haunting music)

- [Narrator] Krampus.

The Krampus is a horned

folklore figure from central

and eastern Europe who,

during the Christmas season,

scares children who have misbehaved.

Assisting Saint Nicholas,

the pair visits children on the night

of the 5th of December,

with St. Nicholas rewarding

the well-behaved children

with modest gifts such

as oranges, dried fruit,

walnuts, and chocolate.

While the badly behaved

ones only receive punishment

from Krampus with birch rods.

Krampus has also been known

to carry chains thought

to symbolize the binding of the devil

by the Christian Church.

He thrashes the chains

for dramatic effect.

The chains are sometimes accompanied

with bells of various sizes.

Of more pagan origin are the ruten,

bundles of birch branches

that Krampus caries

and occasionally swats children with them.

But most of the time,

Krampus appears with a sack

or basket strapped to

his back, this is to cart

off the evil children for drowning,

eating or transport to hell.

Some older versions make mention

of naughty children

being put inside the bag,

screaming as if the bag

was eating them alive,

then taken away and never seen again.

(bells chiming)

(wind howling)

Oh, the lovely weather for

the great ride over there

With a screw

Oh, what are you doing?

Look at you thinking

you're gonna get away.

Well, I can't have you

running off in the woods.

You see, it's Christmas and

the Christmas switch is out

and she's looking for a

naughty soul to steal.

You see, tonight isn't all

about the fat man, you see,

because the witch is out looking.

And when you hear the

roar, the thunder outside,

it's not even, it's not

even thunder for real life.

Some people think that,

but here's just the witch.

She's starting her ghastly

hunt looking for people.

Intestines pulled out of 'em

and then feast on them like

it was a chicken nugget.

Or maybe with a young child.

Maybe it was just father

Santa Nick himself.

It's not about him, it's about the witch.

(light music)

(ominous music)

- [Narrator] Frau Perchta, the

terrifying Christmas witch.

Tales told in Germany and

Austria sometimes feature

a witch named Frau Perchta,

who hands out both rewards

and punishments during

the 12 days of Christmas.

December 25th through

epiphany on January 6th.

She is best known for

her gruesome punishment

of the sinful.

She will rip out your internal

organs and cook you alive.

Frau Perchta is associated

with the wild hunt,

flying through the night

sky, while accompanied

by her demonic perchtin.

A Krumpus looking creature, evil elves,

and unbaptized babies.

For those she deems good, a

silver coin is left for them.

If she deems you unworthy, if

you forget to leave out a bowl

of porridge for her, she

slits open your abdomen,

removes your organs, and

replaces them with straw

or rocks, taking your remains

and cooking them to serve to others.

(light dramatic music)

(hand knocking)

- Hello there, my name's Bill.

You wouldn't have to have any

rooms available, would you?

The roads are getting rough out there.

- Of course I do. I've

been waiting for you.

- I don't have a reservation.

I just saw your sign when I pulled up.

- I still have room.

Please follow me.

- Okay.

(ominous music)

- Will this do?

- This will be fine.

That's a strange doll you got there.

- Oh, I've been looking for him.

Oh, he, he tends to

have a mind of his own.

- I see.

- Would you like to meet me in the library

and have some cookies

and milk after a bit?

- [Bill] Sounds wonderful. Thank you.

(eerie music)

- Would you like a Christmas cookie?

- Well, thank you.

- I'm missing, I'm

missing some ingredients,

but I'll make more later.

Oh, Christmas is such

a special time of year.

Don't you agree?

- I don't celebrate it much.

It's just another excuse

for the department stores

to get your hard-earned money.

- Oh, I only make my

cookies during Christmas.

I have the recipe memorized.

All the ingredients.

- Oh, wonderful.

You gotta steal trap up there.

- Six cups of flour sifted.

One tablespoon each of

baking powder, ground ginger,

ground nutmeg, ground

cloves, ground cinnamon.

Mix that all together.

Oh, and then there's a special ingredient.

- That's very good.

- It's important to get it just right.

My mother believed that everything

and everyone could be useful.

That everyone had a purpose.

Now, do you believe in that?

- I guess so.

The good and the bad.

Everyone has a purpose.

Is there more than one of those?

- One of what?

- The Christmas doll?

- No, just one.

- Okay.

(suspenseful music)

(ominous music)

- You just have to have

the right ingredients

to make the Christmas cookies.

Christmas is this time for magic.

My mother always used to say that.

Christmas cookies should

have one cup of brown sugar,

one egg, a half cup of

water, a cup of molasses,

and one teaspoon of vanilla extract.

You mix all those together

slowly until it's smooth.

- Sounds yummy.

You do know all the cookie recipes.

- My mother tried

to hide my father's location

from me when I was a child.

Oh, she didn't want me to know the truth.

Oh, he did such terrible

things to my mother.

- Sorry to hear that.

(bell jingling)

I am really very tired.

I must be going to bed.

How is that ringing?

- Oh, that always rings

when someone doesn't

have a spirit of Christmas in them.

- It's ringing by itself.

- Yes. This bell is never wrong.

- All right, I'm going to bed.

(bell jingling)

- You can use shortening, but for

the smoothest, flakiest

cookie, you want lard.

One cup melted and cooled, only slightly.

Mix the lard with the wet

ingredients thoroughly.

Then preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

- Christmas cookies really are

your favorite thing to bake.

- You have to have every ingredient.

You can't skip one of them.

- Very good. Good night.

- My father was a large fat man.

He used to play Santa.

- I will see you in the morning.

Good night.

(light dramatic music)

(Bill sighs)

(ominous music)

What the hell's this?

What's going on?

- The Christmas bell tells

no lies. It knows bad souls.

- I don't know what the hell

you talking about. Let me go.

- My mother hid my father

so cleverly, I found him.

I was a smart little girl and

I found every part of him.

I even found the fat, the large.

Every single jar.

(baker giggles)

(guts squishing)

(ominous music continues)

- [Reporter] Breaking news,

police are still on the lookout

for a patient who escaped the

St. Catherine Mental Asylum

earlier this evening.

The mental patient should be

considered very dangerous.

The crazy son of a b*tch was

last seen wearing a Santa

outfit and strapped with a shotgun.

Do not try to apprehend this individual.

Please call your local police station.

Now, back to your Christmas special.

(light music)

(g*n bangs)

(eerie music)

- So there was once a Christmas boogeyman,

also known as Father Whipper.

He had one foot in past and

one foot in pagan history.

- Can you please just stop?

I've heard enough.

- Stop?

Are you f*cking kidding me?

You're gonna hear all my tales tonight.

So the Christmas boogeyman

was known to get children

and slice them up with their throats

and make good soup outta 'em.

Really good soup like

grandma used to make.

And once old fat man Saint

Nick got wind of this,

he figured he'd employed

the son of a b*tch

to help him do his dirty work.

So on the 6th of every December,

he got with Santa Claus

and they went out and did their deeds

doing his dirty work for him

'cause he's a fat, lazy bastard himself.

Did you hear that?

Did you hear that?

There's something out there, I think.

(g*n bangs)

(ominous music)

- Le Pere Fouettard, The

French Christmas cannibal

who serves Santa Claus.

The most popular story

of Le Pere Fouettard

dates from around 1150.

In this tale, Le Pere was a butcher

with particularly evil habits.

One day he and his wife

captured three boys on their way

to a religious boarding school.

They robbed the boys of their money

and then disposed of them most gruesomely;

slitting their throats, cutting

them up and stewing them.

Saint Nicholas heard of the crime

and resurrected the children.

On seeing this miracle,

the evil butcher repented.

He was forced by the saint

to assist him every Christmas

punishing the bad while the

saint rewarded the good as penance.

While Saint Nicholas presents

obedient children with gifts

and treats, Le Pere hard Fouettard whips

and beats the undisciplined ones.

Eating the naughty one's

flesh as punishment,

tasting the evil in every bite.

(ominous music)

(paper rustling)

(ominous music continues)

(ominous music continues)

(paper rustling)

(ominous music)

(eerie music)

(paper rustling)

(metal clattering)

(paper rustling)

(metal clattering)

(suspenseful music)

(paper rustling)

(expl*si*n booms)

(glass shattering)

(fire rustling)

- Did you hear that? Did you?

There's something out

there, I'm telling you.

What's the matter with you?

(dramatic music)

Jesus f*cking Christ.

(eerie music)

(dramatic music)

(g*n bangs)

(g*n clicks)

(dramatic music continues)

Jesus f*cking Christ, I don't

know what fairytale this is,

but I ain't f*cking dying.

(light dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(g*n bangs)

Oh, f*cking Krumpus, f*cking...

f*cking Krampus, f*cking.

Stay, I don't like that f*cking guy.

(light dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(eerie music)

(eerie music continues)

(light dramatic music)

(bright festive music)

(electricity zapping)