Whoo!
Hi.
Don't you have more important things to do right now?
Okay. I left my homework downstairs.
Okay.
WOMAN: ♪ Set in my ways ♪
♪ Losing track of the days ♪
♪ Only me to live for ♪
♪ Had no need to give more ♪
♪ Than I wanted to ♪
MAN: ♪ Spending my time just holding the line ♪
♪ Never getting caught up ♪
♪ Love was never brought up ♪
♪ It's not the thing to do ♪
BOTH: ♪ Ooh ♪
♪ It was you ♪
♪ Then came you ♪
♪ You made me leap without taking a look ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ It was you ♪
♪ Then came you ♪
♪ You reeled me right in ♪
♪ Line, sinker, and hook ♪
♪ Never thought forever was the best I could do ♪
♪ Then came you ♪
♪ It was you and me and you ♪
♪ Then came you ♪
♪ It was you and me and you ♪
♪ It was you and me and ♪
♪ Then came you ♪
[ Chanting ] Left. Left.
Left, right, left.
Your face is weird, your breath is bad,
and that's why everyone left.
Left.
Company, halt!
About face!
Rangers, salute.
All right. [ Chuckles ]
Big day, guys.
We're finally Junior Rangers.
Yeah! TOGETHER: Yeah.
They say there's three big moments in a guy's life
-
-
being born, getting married, and joining the Rangers.
- Yeah.
- That's two for me.
I'm not getting married.
My dad said I could get a bike instead.
[ Laughter ] [ Whistle blows ]
Attention, men.
Welcome to our first organizational meeting
of the year, and, uh, while we're waiting
for some of the tardy Rangers to arrive,
my son Danny will hand out the, uh, macaroons
that my Tiger troop brought.
Dad. Huh?
Leopard troop forgot to bring the orange drink.
Oh, really?
Well, I think that deserves
a hearty Junior Ranger raspberry.
[ All blow raspberries ]
[ Chuckles ] All in good fun, guys, huh?
All in good fun.
Well, it looks like the, uh, Hawks' leader,
Papadapolis, isn't here yet.
Well, well, well. Speak of the devil.
[ Chuckles ] Here's his better half now.
Hi, guys.
TOGETHER: Hi, Mrs. Papadapolis.
[ Clears throat ] Hello, Woody.
Oh, hi, there, uh, uh...
Katherine. Right, Kathy.
No, Katherine.
Yeah, so what's
-
- w
-where's old Georgie boy?
Old Georgie boy is working.
Oh, I see. [ Chuckles ]
So he sent the missus down to mind the store, huh?
No, actually, I'm minding the store for myself.
You see, uh, I'm the Hawks' new ranger leader.
TOGETHER: Yeah.
You're their leader? Yeah.
[ Laughing ] Oh. Oh, that's wild.
That's wi
-
- Uh, uh, blimey, I guess that's the 's, huh?
You wouldn't by any chance have a problem
with a woman leader, would you?
Moi?
[ Chuckles ] Not on your life.
I mean, hey, listen, my missus could handle this
if she really wanted to,
but she likes to keep her priorities straight
-
-
home, family, hearth
-
- the good life.
[ CHUCKLES ] Be careful, Woody.
You're gonna spoil her.
Too late for that now. [ Chuckles ]
O
-oh, Kathy, by the way,
we have the big Ranger competition coming up.
Mm
-hmm.
And if a, uh, troop fails to pass the muster there,
it's a disgrace, and, what, with the wood lore
and the survival training, I mean,
it could get kind of rough out there.
Well... [ Chuckles ]
...I'm tough as old steel, Woody.
Don't worry about me.
I once spent an entire weekend in a hotel without room service.
Well, if you run into any problems,
just give me a call.
I'm always happy to help a damsel in distress.
Ma'am, Norman was tying his neckerchief
and got his finger stuck.
It's gonna be a long year.
I hope that's not one of those bizarre diets
where you eat nothing but yogurt and clams.
We're practicing our survival hike inside,
and I'm setting up a mock forest,
and this is a picture of our spreading oak tree.
Just don't mix the acorns with the ice.
[ Chuckles ]
Well...
I am ready to go.
Good.
That's what I call "traveling light."
Well, Katherine, that's it. I can't go.
Oh, George, now, come on, you can get another suit
-
-
[ Grunts ] ...suitcase.
When? I got to take my car in.
I got to get traveler's checks.
I got to pick up my
-
- my
-
- my tickets.
Katherine, I even have to replenish my toiletries.
Well, I'll give you some of my toiletries,
and you can use my suitcase.
Darling, a man does not go down to the Chicago Cub training camp
with pink, monogrammed suitcases
-
-
not if he wants an interview.
Well, we have lots
of extra
-heavy lawn and trash bags.
Very funny.
I guess I'll
-
- I could go down
to the car wash and pick up something.
WEBSTER: Ma'am, ready. Everyone's here.
Oh. Nature calls.
George, when you're down at the car wash,
please, whatever the cost, no more Robert Goulet tapes.
Okay, Junior Rangers, all in.
Let's practice our salute.
Very good! Okay. Pass out the compasses.
We're going on a nature hike.
Hike? It rained today.
The ground is all mush. We can't hike.
Can't?
That word, "can't"
-
-
I mean, if I'm going to be your Junior Ranger leader,
that word, "can't," is out of our vocabulary.
What about the word "pneumonia"?
That could be.
We are going on our hike,
but we are going to do it indoors.
Look around, you guys. Look at all the pictures.
I made a forest here.
TOGETHER: Oh.
That never happened in Boy Braves.
Yeah, when it rained then, Mr. Stone made us sit down
and watch videotapes of his family reunion in Kansas.
Yeah, I really liked the way his uncle Ned did hog calls.
Okay, well, my motto is,
"When problems arise, improvise."
Think of this as a way to save your lives.
So I want you to treat all these pictures of plants and animals
as if they were the real thing, okay?
Okay. Okay.
Uh
-oh.
Ooh. I touched a picture of poison ivy.
Ew!
It's not that real, Norman. Come on, let's go.
[ Blows whistle ] Now, stick together.
We wouldn't want anyone to get lost.
WEBSTER: Especially me. [ Laughs ]
I'd feel awfully silly getting lost in my own living room.
[ Chuckles ]
Oh, look, a snake.
Ew!
What kind is it?
TOGETHER: Garter snake.
Is it gonna hurt you?
TOGETHER: No.
- Okay, then.
Stay.
[ To the tune of " Bottles of Beer" ]
TOGETHER: ♪ Junior Rangers we are, we are ♪
♪ Junior rangers, we are ♪
♪ We live in a tent 'cause we can't pay the rent ♪
♪ Junior Rangers, we are ♪
- One more time!
♪ Junior Rangers we are, we are ♪
- Wait a minute. Whoa, time out. ♪ Junior rangers, we are ♪
Does anybody know a song with less than verses?
Yeah, how about "Kumbaya"?
That one really cooks!
[ Doorbell rings ]
Oh, our lookout bird has told us that we have an intruder.
KATHERINE: Oh!
It's Forest Ranger Uncle Jerry.
Hi, Uncle Jerry. Hi, Jerry.
Hey, Junior Rangers.
Wow, that is a nice
-looking fire.
Always makes me want to break into a rousing chorus
of "Kumbaya."
See?
Oh! Oh, help!
Oh, oh, my gosh, I've been injured.
Help! Oh! Oh, my leg! Oh!
Oh, help! Oh!
Oh, my, oh, my.
Now, it looks like Ranger Jerry has broken his leg.
Now, we need first aid. What do we do?
Get our manuals.
- Very good.
- Oh, the pain!
Oh, the pain! Just let me live! [ Groans ]
Could you check your manual for "overacting"?
Overacting?
I'll have you know that I played Willy Loman
at the Summer Camp for Performing Arts.
Biff! Help me! My leg!
Well, he's babbling, so he must be in shock.
- Here, this'll keep him warm.
- Good!
Oh, excellent. But, see, he's just in shock.
He's not dead. Mm
-hmm.
Okay, now, what about some splints?
I think these should work pretty good.
Good!
Now, you could tie them on with your neckerchiefs.
Um, n
-not too tight.
Forest Ranger Jerry has an aerobics class this afternoon.
WEBSTER: Hey.
-Hey, guys.
- Hey.
No, Norman, you don't have to eat grasshoppers
if you're lost in the shopping mall.
[ Chuckles ] DANNY: Hey, guys.
Thanks, guys.
No problem.
My dad said we should be polite to Girl Scouts.
[ Laughter ]
Very funny.
Webster's mom is really teaching us a lot.
Oh, yeah? Like what?
Dusting, sewing, throwing Tupperware parties, maybe?
[ Laughter ] No, real Ranger stuff,
like what to do if you're lost in the woods.
Yeah, like sewing.
You're the only troop that had to sew on your own patches.
So, what's the big deal?
No big deal.
Hey, if we'd have known,
we'd have had you guys sew ours on instead of our mothers.
[ Laughter ]
Yeah, real cool, Feldman.
Just because Mrs. Papadapolis is a lady
doesn't mean she's not a good leader.
Yeah, thanks to her, I almost have my knot
-tying merit badge.
Guys, that's amazing.
A week ago, he couldn't even tie his own shoes.
A lot you know. I wear loafers.
Norman, let us stick up for you, okay?
And Danny, at the competition,
you'll see who the real men are.
Oh, sure, Web.
And, just to show you there's no hard feelings,
when ourtroop wins the competition,
we'll buy all you guys corsages.
[ Laughter ] Come on.
I'm sorry. Could you explain it again, Webster?
Again?
Norman, what's so hard?
We're not building the Sears Tower.
We're just digging a latrine.
I know, but I just can't figure it out.
Norman, if it's too hard,
just pitch a tent near a gas station.
[ Knock on door ] Come in.
Hi, Web.
Oh, hi, guys. What's up?
Uh, Web, we've got to talk.
We sort of have a real problem.
Guys, what's so hard?
We're just digging a latrine.
It's just a ditch and a board with a hole in it.
It's not that.
You know how crummy it's been with Feldman's troop razzing us,
calling us sissies, and throwing us kisses.
Kisses? No one threw me kisses.
Now the whole class is doing it!
Yeah, I know.
Today, someone asked me
if I was selling Girl Scout cookies.
See, now, that's where I'm getting at.
We've got to do something about this!
Yeah, we sure do. What?
Well, believe me,
I wish there was another way, but...
I think we're gonna have to dump our Ranger leader.
Dump Ma'am?
But she's been working real hard.
She stays up all night studying this manual.
She knows it by heart.
Sorry, Web.
But you guys can't do this.
We'renot.
We sort of figured since she's your mom,
you should.
GEORGE: Aw, champ, I'm gonna miss my plane.
George, I've
-
- I've got to talk to you.
Okay, but if I don't get a window seat,
it's gonna be your fault.
George, this is serious.
Okay.
See, I don't want what to do.
Everyone's callin us nerds
because we have a lady Ranger leader.
Well, I'd say it's their problem, not yours.
Well, it's my problem now.
My troop wants me to can Ma'am.
Katherine know about this?
I can't tell her.
She'd feel rotten.
You know, when I was, uh, in high school,
I used to drive Pop's truck.
[ Laughs ]
What a jalopy.
We used to call it Old Blue. [ Chuckles ]
I'd try to honk the horn and the
-
-
the windshield wipers would go on.
I'd fiddle with the windshield wipers
and the radio would start to blare.
Push the radio in
and the whole darn thing would just die.
[ Both laugh ]
But you know what eventually happened?
You had her junked?
No, we didn't have it junked.
I was the laughingstock of high school,
but, uh...
when it came time for the old hometown parade
and no one else could pull that float,
guess who they wanted to do it.
TOGETHER: Old Blue.
That's right. [ Chuckles ]
Boy, did they change their tune. [ Chuckles ]
So, I guess what you're saying is to stick with Ma'am
because she's like an old jalopy.
Well, kind of.
The point is, does she do the job?
Oh, sure.
She's great.
She can't make popcorn balls,
but other than that, she taught us everything.
She's the best.
Then you know what I'd say to you?
Stick with Old Blue.
I got to go. I got to catch a plane.
Okay, George.
Thanks, George, and
-
- oh, don't forget what to bring me.
Oh, I won't forget.
What do you need all those air
-sickness bags for?
Keeps my turtle food fresh.
Should have thought of that.
KATHERINE: Hi, guys.
- Hi.
You about ready for the sleep portion of your sleepover?
Oh, almost.
See, Ma'am, uh, we just had a talk.
And we decided that we have to talk.
Well, sure. Let's talk.
You want some hot chocolate.
- Yes, please.
- Yes, please.
Okay. What's up?
Well...
- it's about the troop.
- Oh, yeah.
Now, listen, tomorrow,
I'm gonna teach all of you how to tie sailor knots.
Oh, well, as of now, Norman and I are "all of you."
What?
It's just that the other guys kind of quit.
Kind of quit?
I don't understand.
Well...
They quit because of you, Mrs. Papadapolis.
It's just
-
- It's not like they don't like you or anything,
because they
-
- they really do.
Was it the popcorn balls?
No, it's
-
- it's just that they...
Oh...
They wish you weren't a lady.
I thought we were all getting along so well.
Everything was cool
until Mr. Feldman's troop started teasing us.
We have a woman Supreme Court Justice,
but Woody can't handle a woman Ranger Leader.
I don't understand. Why is Mr. Feldman like that?
'Cause he doesn't know any better.
Prejudiced people are like that sometimes.
Yeah, but it's not fair.
You're right. That's the point.
Trick is not to let anybody like that
change the way you think, and then maybe one day
you can change the way they think.
You really think so?
Hopefully.
Well, what are we going to do about the troop?
Oh, we're sticking with you, Ma'am, because you're the best.
Oh!Right!
And besides, you're one of the only adults
that actually talks to me.
Well, thank you, guys.
I really appreciate your loyalty.
It's nice.
You know, Webster, the two of us don't have much of a chance.
Maybe we should drop out of the competition.
Oh, not me.
I've gonna b*at Mr. Feldman's troop.
You know, I'd like to see them
-
-
like to see them fall right on their canteens.
[ Chuckles ]
Well, we may be just at troop of two,
but we're gonna be the best troop of since...
Fortnum and Mason.
Abercrombie and Fitch?
Laurel and Hardy?
Yeah, all right! Yeah.
[ Indistinct conversations ]
Good, Web. Come on.
Keep going, Norman. You're doing great.
Thanks.
My finger muscles are still pumped up
from the Indian sign
-language competition.
Don't worry, guys.
They're only b*ating us because they have
all that practice tying ribbons in their hair.
[ Laughter ] Pay no attention.
You're a half hitch away from winning. Now, come on.
Okay.
Hey, there, uh, Kathy, does your husband know
that when you get all fired up like this,
you're, uh, cute as a pumpkin?
Oh, Woody, Woody, there isn't a day goes by
he doesn't compare me to some vegetable.
Done!
Come on, Web! Yay!
All right! Very good!
Done. Yes!
[ Blows whistle ]
Winners of the knot
-tying
-
- the Hawks!
Yay! Yay!
All right!
Not too shabby, huh, Woody?
It's only the knot
-tying, Kathy.
It's a low priority for a real woodsman
-
-
uh, woodsperson.
Attention, Junior Rangers.
Positions, please, for the tent
-building competition.
Okay, now, you hawks.
We're on a winning streak We just won that.
And you won the handicraft competition with your birdhouse.
But, Ma'am, it was really a mailbox.
[ Sighs ] Could a bird live in it?
- Well, yeah
-
-
- Then we're in!
Let's go everyone.
Okay, now, listen.
We're outnumbered, and I don't want you to panic.
Just remember our motto.
TOGETHER: When problems arise, improvise.
Okay, go for it! Come on!
Do you two really think
you're gonna set that pup tent up alone?
Save yourselves the embarrassment.
Check in to a Holiday Inn.
Don't pay any attention to them, Norman.
Just think, "Pop, pop, pop."
[ Laughs ]
Junior Rangers, ready.
Begin!
Come, you guys! Come on, Hawks!
Oh, no, don't forget your ground cloth.
Remember, moisture is your enemy.
Okay, guys, snap those poles, okay?
Fasten those flaps.
Hustle, hustle!
[ Chuckles ]
Uh, excuse me, Kathy.
Does your troop know that the event has begun.
Oh, very funny, Woody, Woody,
but remember, slow and steady wins the race.
DANNY: Come on, guys!
- Oh, no, no, no.
That's not always true in the real world.
Ow! Ow! Ow!
Dad, what's the matter?
I just tripped over your stupid bag!
My ankle! Quick, do something!
What?
Tigers first aid!
Well, you said, "Skip all that stuff.
It's not in the competition."
Well, then call for help!
- Help!
- Danny, I can help.
-
-
- the paramedics, okay?
- Yep.
Oh, my ankle, it's k*lling me. Please, do something.
All right, straighten your leg out. Just relax.
[ Groans ] Okay, stay calm.
You know, I think it really might be broken.
Now, what do we do? Oh.
- Good.
- Here, this will keep him warm.
Careful, now. Don't bump it.
Yeah, and these should be good as splints.
Tigers, give me your neckerchiefs.
Oh, that's right. [ Grunts ]
Either side, here. All right, I'll hold them.
You slip it under.
PARAMEDIC: Pretty bad fracture, here, sir.
Good thing you got it into a splint.
Real professional job, too.
All right.
Hey, uh, uh,
listen, guys.
I, uh...
[ Clears throat ]
Uh, my leg and everything.
You're welcome, Mr. Feldman.
And listen, I...I really hope
they weren't too rough on you out there before.
Yeah, sorry, Web.
It's okay. We're Hawks.
We can take it.
If you ever tangle with any more
ferocious tent bags, be sure to call us.
I get your drift.
I guess I, uh...
I guess I kind of owe you an apology, too.
Yeah.
No, really. I mean it.
You're all right.
You know your stuff.
Thanks, Woody. That's nice of you.
I guess it's true what they say.
Women make the best nurses.
Make sure that splint is real tight.
Uh, Mrs. Papadapolis, uh,
you guys did really good out there today.
Thank you.
We're, uh, still kind of looking for a troop to join,
and we're wondering, since you guys
-
-
Oh, let me guess.
You wouldn't be looking for a troop
with a woman leader, would you?
Wow, you mean there's another troop with a lady leader?
[ Chuckles ]
Well, Web, Norman, what do you think?
Should we let them back in the troop?
Well, I don't know.
What if they ask to see our Barbie dolls again?
It won't matter, because we're Hawks.
Please.
We really feel stupid about quitting and everything.
We're really sorry.
It would improve our chances in a tug
-of
-w*r.
TOGETHER: Yeah!
- All right!
Okay, welcome back, Hawks.
Now, fall in. Yeah!
Salute.
Let's see.
That's... a dot, dash, dot.
"R". Yes.
[ Chuckles ]
Okay.
It's dot...
"E". Okay.
All right. I finished!
Still trying to decode George's postcard?
Yeah, you know,
George is a little rusty in his Morse code.
Yeah? Yeah.
See, uh, this says, "Having a great time.
I wish you were beer."
"Beer"? Let me have a look at that.
Oh, no.
See, that's your problem, right there.
Mm
-hmm? It's not a dash.
Is it a dot?
No. It's a squished bug.
TOGETHER: Ew!
[ Theme song plays ]
04x21 - Katherine the Brave
Watch/Buy Amazon
Set in Chicago, revolves around Webster Long, a 5-year-old African American orphan whose biological parents were recently k*lled in a car accident and is taken in by his godfather, retired football star George Papadopolis.
Set in Chicago, revolves around Webster Long, a 5-year-old African American orphan whose biological parents were recently k*lled in a car accident and is taken in by his godfather, retired football star George Papadopolis.