02x15 - Keep on Truckin' Papa

[bunniefuu]

- Now, tap dancing can be very complicated,

but in a few years, with some practice,

I'm sure you'll be as good as I.

[feet tapping] Now, you.

[feet tapping]

[audience laughing]


- Sure, can he waltz?

[audience laughing]

♪ Set in my ways, losing track of the days ♪

♪ Only me to live for ♪

♪ Had no need to give more than I wanted to ♪

♪ Spending my time just holding the line ♪

♪ Never getting caught up ♪

♪ Love was never brought up, it's not the thing to do ♪

♪ Ooh, it was you, then came you ♪

♪ You made me leap without taking a look ♪

♪ Ooh, it was you, then came you ♪

♪ You reeled me right in line, sinker, and hook ♪

♪ Never thought forever was the best I could do ♪

♪ Then came you ♪

♪ It was you and me, and you ♪

♪ Then came you ♪ ♪ It was you and me, and you ♪

♪ It was you and me and then came you ♪

[gentle music]


- [George] All right, Pop, you just go in the house,

I'll take care of the bags.

[footsteps clomping]


- Old chips, Papa, carry own bags.

[Papa chuckles] [audience laughing]


- [All] Surprise!


- Ooh.
- Yo!


- Ooh, wow. [laughs]


- Welcome home, Grandpa!

I missed you.


- Mm, mwah, come my little Baklova, let me look at you.

Mm, mwah!


- Oh, Grandpa, you grew a new chin.

[audience laughing]


- Hey, I'm sure it's a scarf.


- No, it's chin.

I grow special for my favorite grandson.

[both gobbles]

Pap, I have something for you.

Don't go back home, I'll be right back.


- All right.

[audience laughing]

[Grandpa chuckles]


- Well, are you gonna tell Katherine the surprise

or you want me to tell?


- I have a big surprise for you,

you keep your big mouth shut.

[audience laughing]


- He loves me, Katherine.

[audience laughing]


- Give me the coat.
- All right.

Ah.

Ha, thank you.

Oh, Katherine, come let me look at you.


- Uh, mwah
-mwah.


- You are even more beautiful than you are?

Turn around for Papa.

[Katherine laughs]


- Woo, Papa, you should be arrested, you old devil.


- [laughs] Marry this woman the minute she asks you.

[everybody laughing]

All right.


- Papa, oh. [laughs]


- Hello.

Georgie, who, who is this who is hugging on me?


- Oh, excuse me, I just wanted to bask in the aura

of your primitive Greek exuberance.


- Oh, thank you. [audience laughing]

What the hell is she talking about?


- Papa, this is a friend of ours,

Jerry Silver
-
- Jerry.


- And he's been highly influenced by the romantic poets.

[audience laughing]
- Mm.


- Jerry made a big great dinner for you.


- Oh.
- Oh, yes.

A Barbecue Kokoretsi.


- Koretsi.
- With the individual salads.


- Mm.
- What's Kokopapsi?

[audience laughing]


- Kokoretsi, and if he made them authentically,

you don't want to know.


- [laughs] Well, why don't you talk amongst yourselves?

I, I've got a Marinade waiting,

and my skewers are crying out

for lubrication, [chuckles] chow.

[audience laughing]


- Here, I saved this from Thanksgiving in my Memento Box.

Wanna make a wish?


- Oh, I don't need to make a wish now. [chuckles]

Save it for later. [laughs]

Oh, Momentos Box is broken.

But don't worry, Papa fix.


- You can fix it?
- Of course.


- Sure, Papa can fix anything.

All right, now, Papa, come on for the last time, Papa,

tell her about the surprise.


- Yes, Papa, tell us about the surprise we've been hearing

so little about. [chuckles]
- All right.

[audience laughing]
- Everybody's standing up.


- [All] Yes.


- All right, I'm gonna tell.

Papa's coming back to this country,

and he is gonna stay here the rest of his life.

[everyone cheers]


- Oh, yeah.
- Thank you, my son,

who cannot keep shut his mouth.

[audience laughing]

Why don't you tell them when I'm going to take a bath too?

I wanted to tell them!


- Now, it doesn't matter who told, but it's wonderful.


- And you know what's so fantastic?

He's gonna live with us.
- Yes! [giggles]


- With us?

[audience laughing]


- Yes, we've got plenty of room. [chuckles]


- George, could I have your ear by the bar?

[audience laughing]

Mix, mingle, we'll be right back.


- You know what, Papa, you can live in my room,

and we can play, and I can tuck you in every night.

Do you still wear those boxer shorts?


- [laughs] Only for family. [audience laughing]


- Won't you run this by me one more time?

When you meant us, did you mean us
-us?


- Of course, us
-us, who else is us?


- Honey, us should have told us

what us was doing with each other.

[audience laughing]


- I love it when you talk like that, Katherine,

give me a kiss.
- No, no, not now.

I'm on a tight schedule, Mr. Hilton.

[audience laughing]


- No, we're delighted that you're going to stay with us.


- Oh, no, Katherine, I cannot stay here with you.


- But, Papa, we want you to.


- No, no, Baklova, your Papa needs a place of his own.


- Ah, thank you.
- Here, George.


- Soon as I gets up, I get apartment.

And then, I get new telephone,

unlimited local usage. [laughs]

And call
-forwarding. [laughs]


- America, land of opportunity!
- America!

[bouncy music]


- Hi, guys.
- Hi.


- Webster, you should be in bed.


- I know, if I got the newspaper, Papa asked me to get,

and they do have lots of jobs, see, I circled one.


- Honey, I don't think this one's appropriate.


- Katherine, let, let Papa be the judge of that.


- Okay, "Orthopedic surgeon wanted for a new wing

of Community Hospital.

Salary, $,."
- Woo.


- Thank you very much, Webster, $,. [chuckles]

But I'm not doctor.


- Well, would you like some help with your resume?


- I thought you would never ask. [laughs]


- Okay, now, we should get started.

You just tell me.
- Mm
-hmm.


- What kind of jobs you'd be interested in doing.


- Oh, that is easy.

I like to breed show goats. [audience laughing]


- Show goats.
- Mm
-hmm, and race goats.

Last year on Greek, we win first prize in Greek .

[audience laughing]

Come on, this is joke. [feet tapping]

[laughs] There's no such thing as race goats.

[everybody laughing]


- So funny.
- Papa, [laughs]

you're so funny, Papa. [audience laughing]


- Seriously, Katherine, when Papa first came

to this country, he was a steel worker, carpenter. plumber.

He was an all
-around Mr. Fix It.


- Oh.
- And all those jobs,

Papa, I don't think he should be doing today.


- Georgie,

you think I should put that in resume?


- Oh, yes, I mean, if you wanna get a job.


- Mm.


- Pap, don't you think it's time to retire?


- Retire, Georgie, if I don't work,

I am an empty shirt, I have no reason to wake up

in the morning.

No, my mind is made up.

Tomorrow, [lips trils] I get job.


- Can I go with you to work, please, can I come?


- Webster, I don't think that's a good idea.


- Oh, man.
- It might be harder for Papa

to get a job with a child along.


- Fantastics, I get job right away.

[bouncy music]


- Look at this's, Katherine. Papa fixed Webs' Momento Box.

Like new, huh?
- Uh
-huh.


- Would you pass me the vinegar?


- Yeah, let's see, now I need water.


- You'd probably find it at the sink.


- Right. [audience laughing]


- What are you making?


- An authentic Greek dish for an authentic Greek Papa.

[Katherine speaking in foreign language]


- Make a what's ya? [audience laughing]


- You know, pickled fig peckers.

[audience laughing]


- No, I, I don't know pickled fig peckers.


- Oh, George, you know fig peckers.

Those small but meaty little birds of the warbler variety

that are found in the vineyards all over downtown Cyprus.

[audience laughing]


- You went all the way to Cyprus

to get these pickled fig peckers?


- No, I went to Yras and Son,

you know Peter Picos' Greek Gourmet Store

down on State Street.

These little fig peckers, you can buy them

by the bushel of the peck.

[audience laughing]


- So, you went down there, and you picked a pack

of pickle fig peckers? [audience laughing]


- No, no, no, no, Peter Picos picked a pack

of pickled fig peckers, I merely brought them home.


- Anybody home?
- Yeah, we're in the kitchen.


- How'd it go?


- Wonderful, splendiferous.

They sent me out to a few places

but none of these jobs was right for your Papa.

Besides, Webster was having a hard time keeping up with me.

What a ball of fire I am. [laughs]

Well, I think I gotta take a shower now.

Oh, and I'm going to fix the toilet.

Is something very wrong, all the water is coming out blue.

[audience laughing]


- Webster Long Esquire, you come here, please.

You went with him, didn't you?


- I know you didn't want me to go

but I didn't want Papa to be alone all day.


- Okay, so you went, was it interesting?


- No, I was mad.


- Why?


- Nobody wanted to give Papa a job.

Everywhere we went, they said he should be in a pastor.

Everybody kept on calling him old, but he isn't old.

He's Papa.
- You bet he is.

He's tough too.

All us Papadopolis are tough.


- Honey, I made Papa a little Greek coffee.

Just a special thing.

Now, if you take it up to him, it may be just

a little pick
-me
-up.

Okay, I made it kind of full, don't spill it.


- Okay, but this sure looks weird.

[audience laughing]


- I told you, Katherine,

I told you he shouldn't go looking for a job.

He should be sitting around resting, smelling the roses.


- George, Papa is a vital man, he needs to work.

He, he needs people, especially women people.

[audience laughing]


- Oh, great, then I'll get him a blind date.

[audience laughing]

Maybe I'll call the widow, Hoffnagle.

See if she can squeeze him in.


- Forget about the widow Hoffnagle,

and think about my Binky.


- I'd like to think about your Binky, darling,

but my father's in town.

[audience laughing]


- George, we're talking about my horse.


- Thought his name was Morter.


- His Christian name is Morter but we call him Binky.

May I go on? [audience laughing]


- Please.
- Binky is a racehorse.

He's a thoroughbred.

years old he is, and he is still running as well as ever

even though he has nowhere to go.

[audience laughing]


- Is there a point to all this?


- Yes, I'm getting to the point.

The point is that Binky needs to run around,

and then keep on sewing his oats,

and so does your father.


- Okay, I get him a widow younger than a widow Hoffnagle

[audience laughing]

[door knocking]


- Papa, you in there?

Papa, I have some coffee for you?

Want a piece? [audience laughing]

[door clicks]

[cutlery clacking]

[door thuds]

What's the matter?

[somber music]


- [sobs] I'm fine, fine. [sniffs]

But I'd be okay.


- Papa, I love you, please don't cry.

[gentle music]


- Some coffee, Papa?


- Brownie?


- Million dollars, Papa?


- I not hungry.


- Papa, Papa, look,

I've got our whole day plan for tomorrow.

I wrote it down and everything.

See, first, you'll come to school with me,

and then at recess we can go on a seesaw.

And then, we'll, we'll go get a job.

Come on, Papa, cheer up.

You'll be working any minute now.

Would you like to make a list?


- Webster, stop it!

I don't go nowhere.

No one cares that Papa is good steelworker.

Nobody cares Papa can fix anything anytime.

To them, Papa is old, and old is useless.


- But, Papa.


- No!

There are no jobs for Papa.

So, stop it, leave me alone, go away!

[somber music]


- He didn't mean that. [Katherine kiss smacking]

[paper rustling]


- George, look at this.
- Papa,

what the hell are you doing?


- George, can't you see, he's lying in state?

Go on, you'll get a flower and I'll light the candle.


- Everybody's an undertaker.

[audience laughing]


- Wait a minute, hey, maybe I was wrong.

He sounds alive.


- No he doesn't.

[audience laughing]


- Come on, where's that Papa that I love,

who's so full of life?

The Papa who yells at me, "Oh, my sweet little Baklova,

let me look at you," huh?

Where's that Papa, where is he?


- On the couch, broken.


- Oh, Mr. Fix It can't get off the couch and fix himself?


- Uh, maybe we should leave him alone.


- You know, George, you may be right.

We'll just leave this candle over here to lighten his days.

[footsteps clomping]


- Maybe we should get him a little wooden cane in a shawl.

Hmm?
- That's a nice touch.

Katherine, I like that.
- Thank you.

We could shuffle him off to the park to a reserved bench.

They'd water him once a week while he feeds the pigeons.

Maybe that's the way he wants to spend the rest of his days,

sitting in the park, feeding the pigeons, waiting to die.


- You know, you're right, you shouldn't see me like this.

I think I go home, I go back to Greece, get ready to die.


- Will you close the funeral parlor, Pap?

[audience laughing]

We're gonna get you a job.

Everything's gonna be all right.


- No it isn't.

[door clicks]


- Papa, all my favorite toys broke.

Would you help me fix them?


- Papa doesn't work here anymore.


- Yes, he's a pigeon feeder now.


- Oh.


- Wait, how many toys we are talking about?


- Well, just these.

[toys scattering]

[audience laughing]


- Oh, Webs, this could take forever.


- That's okay, I can wait.

[audience laughing]

Papa, are you awake, Papa?

[door clicks]

Are you here?

Wow, he fixed all my toys.

And my plastic duck.

Wait a minute, I don't have a plastic duck.

[audience laughing]

Mm. [paper rustling]


- Dear, Baklova, I knew you would be first in my room.

Toys all fixed like new.

I mend George's plastic duck.

But don't tell him I know it is his.

It'd be our little secret.

[audience laughing]

Thank you for giving me job, Musaka.

But now that job is done, I cannot stay here any longer.

But before you run, looking for Mom and George, wait.

[audience laughing]

Back into room.

Play with toys, have some fun.

Life is too short, Baklova.

Don't worry, this is not goodbye forever.

Love, always, Papa.

PS, I know it is probably too early to play with toys.

Okay, go tell mam and George I gone, see you.


- Hey, George, I can't see you, I mean, Papa's gone!

[audience laughing]

Hey, George, Papa's gone!


- This is crazy.
- Where did he go?


- It doesn't say.


- Oh, I'm gonna call the airport.


- Georgie, Katherine, Webster.
- Pap?


- Papa is home.
- Are you there?


- Here, Pap.


- [footsteps clomping]


- [All] Papa!


- But only temporarily, I, um, uh,

I, I Forgot my handball gloves.

George, have you seen my handball gloves?


- Pap, can I talk to you for a minute, please,

It's important.
- Oh, Honey,

why don't you come up and help me get dressed.


- But you already dressed.


- Let's pretend I'm not.

[audience laughing]
- Boy, grownups.

I wonder if they know what they're talking about.


- George, I have something to say.


- I have something to say to you, Papa.


- But, George, no buts, Papa.

You sit down now, sit down, and shut your mouth.


- George, how dare are you?


- How dare I?

You tell me you're gonna take my father away from me,

and you ask me how dare I?

How dare you?

How dare you for even thinking such a thing.


- Oh, George.
- I'm not finished yet, Papa.

Now, you had, you had one day of disappointment.

hours with some insensitive people, and what do you do?

What do you do, Papa, huh?


- You give up.
- I tired.


- You're not tired, not now.

You were tired when you first came to this country, Pap.

And you worked hard to make a living.

You were tired when you and Mama, God bless Mama,

raised six boys and cared for 'em, educated them.

Get 'em a better life than you had, Papa.


- I was a younger man.
- Young is here, Papa.

Right here in the heart, Papa.

Young is how you feel and how you act,

and how you think about yourself.

Not what other people think, or not what other people say

about you.

[somber music]

You're going home to die.

What was that, you're going home to die?

But I got news for you, Papa.

Home isn't Sparta or Athens, or Mykonos.

[somber music]

Home's with us, Papa.

Home is with us, here we are, Pap.


- George, [sobs] I love you, George.

[Papa kiss smacking]


- I love you too, Papa. [back tapping]


- Oh, oh, whoa, whoa!

[audience laughing]


- Whoa!


- Katherine, What are you doing?


- Hi.
- Hi.

[audience laughing]


- [chuckles] Well, I have announcement to make.


- What is it, and remember, we all love you.

[audience laughing]


- That's why I decide to stay. [laughs]


- Oh, that was easy.


- Wait a minute, I didn't even cry yet.


- It's like my Georgie say,

"It don't matter if people say you are old.

If people say you are old, it's only one person's opinion,

right, and if they say, I old, I say, 'Tough God Chips.'"

[audience laughing]

Can you do this, huh?

Hoppa! [speaker speaking in foreign language]


- Hoppa.
- Hoppa.

And if my Katherine love me so much that she tease me

and make fun of me, huh?

And my little Baklova, he break his toys

so that Papa have something to do, huh?

Then, what can I say, mm?


- I know what you can say, Papa.


- Mm?
- Welcome home, Papa.


- Oh. [energetic music]


- Yeah, welcome home, my big Baklova.

[audience laughing]

[energetic music]


- Webster
-
- Will be back
-


- In a moment. [giggles]

[upbeat music]

[everybody laughing]


- Well?


- Ah, thank you.


- Ah, yeah, I found him an apartment.

One room, no view but with a couple of throw pillows

and a queens and art, it's home sweet home.

[audience laughing] [laughter drowns out speaker]


- Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.

And Papa don't work for nobody.

Papa have own business, see?


- "Hapa Papadopoulos, you break it, I fix it, and things."

Very now, very trendy.

[audience laughing]

I don't know, Pap, new business sounds pretty expensive.


- Oh, so, I dip into nest egg, which I was saving

for my old age. [chuckles]

But why the hell wants to wait that long? [laughs]

[audience laughing]

[dramatic music]

[upbeat music]