01x08 - Travis

[bunniefuu]

[whimsical music]

[audience laughter]

[more audience laughter]

♪ Set in my ways losing track of the days ♪

♪ Only me to live for ♪

♪ Had no need to give more ♪

♪ Than I wanted to ♪

♪ Spending my time just holding the line ♪

♪ Never getting caught up ♪

♪ Love was never brought up ♪

♪ It's not the thing to do ♪

♪ Ooh it was you, then came you ♪

♪ You made me leap without taking a look ♪

♪ Ooh it was you, then came you ♪

♪ You reeled me right in line, sinker, and hook ♪

♪ Never thought forever was the best I could do ♪

♪ Then came you ♪

♪ It was you and me and you ♪

♪ Then came you, it was you and me ♪

♪ And you ♪

♪ It was you and me ♪

♪ Then came you ♪

[upbeat music]

- [Jerry] Don't fail me, ladies, keep it up!

And one two three four

five six seven eight

- I can't go on. - It's almost over.

- And one two three, kick,

one two three, kick,

- I can't! - Somebody sh**t him!

- Keep on going, he might have a heart att*ck.

- I have no heart! And

One, two, three, four,

one two three four five six seven eight [yelping]

- Thank you.

[upbeat music stops]

- Take five.

- But it's gonna pour!

- We still have time for a few tosses.

You go get the gloves, I'll get the refreshments,

hi Katherine.

[audience laughter]

You here again, Jer?

- Oh yes.

- Well, well, well, hello there.

- Oh, Ellen, this is George.

George, Ellen.

Ellen, Webster. Webster, Ellen.

- Ellen, you know what, Ellen, it is nice meeting you.

Believe me, my goodness sakes, Ellen.

They went to school together.

- Gosh!

- Well listen, it was nice meeting you, Ellen,

and listen, don't be a stranger.

It's Ellen.

Oh, it's gonna start to rain.

So we gotta be going, El.

Do you mind if I call you El?

- No. - Good. Web, say goodbye to El

- Bye, El.

- Ellen Franklin, golly willickers.

[audience laughter]

- [sighing] Well. Juice?

- Great.

[both groaning]

- I wish you didn't have to go so soon.

- Well, Larry and I are leaving from Montreal

in the morning.

- Oh? With or without children?

- Without. - [Katherine] Aha.

That is wonderful.

- I think George is very nice.

- Thank you.

He's a very special man.

- And? - And what?

- Webster.

- Oh, of course. I think he's a doll.

- I know what you must be thinking.

Of all people, me, Katherine Calder-Young,

married with a child homesteading in middle America.

You were surprised, weren't you?

- Very. And you?

- I'm amazed.

[audience laughter]

Well, tell me, what do you think about all this?

- I think it's very fine.

- Ellen, you've been married for years.

You have three children, a career.

I could use some tips, you know, some encouragement.

- Oh, Katherine.

- No, I mean it. You're my oldest and dearest friend

and I really value your opinions.

- Well, if you really wanna know.

- Please.

- I don't think a white couple should be raising

a black child.

[sad music]

- You were out that long.

- You're crazy.

Was safe by feet.

- Yeah, but he missed the base by .

- Did not. - Did!

- Did not. - Did.

- Did not. - Did.

- Did not. - Did.

- Boys!

- Sorry. All right, Web.

Hit the showers.

- Do I have to take a shower?

- You certainly do, you're soaking wet.

- You were out, man.

- Was not, man.

- You're arguing with a child.

- I know, but darling, he's crazy.

I was safe by a mile.

There anything to drink?

- Juice and water.

- I'll take a little juice.

[audience laughter]

- Well, you know where the kitchen is.

- Right.

- George, Ellen said something to me

that really kind of disturbed me.

- Well, you're friends, you'll work it out.

- No, it's not that simple.

She said that she doesn't think a white couple

should raise a black child.

- Well, it's an opinion.

It's like white socks.

You see, I happen to wear white socks with black shoes.

Now a lot of people think I'm an air hole.

Does that make them right?

Does an opposing opinion automatically make you wrong?

I ask you that question.

- It isn't just Ellen,

this thing has been bothering me for a long time too.

- Did she infer that you were a lousy mother?

- No, but-

- Did she say that she was more qualified than you?

- Not specifically.

- Okay, then. What makes her the expert?

- Well, she's a housewife.

- Yeah.

- She's a mother of three.

- Yeah.

- She's black.

- Yeah.

- She has a PhD in sociology

specializing in the placement of minority children.

- Yeah.

- And she's written this book, "Trauma and Culture Shock

of the Adolescent Victims of the Liberal White Left."

[audience laughter]

- Well, obviously she has an opinion.

[audience laughter]

- She is an expert in her field.

- So it's a problem for her.

- Well, it's a problem for me too.

- Why?

- I'm afraid.

I don't know if we're doing the right thing.

I mean, it's a child's life we're dealing with.

- Just answer me one question.

You think for a second that that kid in there

has got a problem because we're white?

- I don't know, but I sure would like to find out.

- I'm going, Fernando.

Next pitch, I'm gone.

- Webster.

What are you doing?

- Sliding. - Sliding what?

- Me.

- [Katherine] Oh.

- Yeah, it's baseball slides I taught 'im.

Isn't the great?

- You never try till the slide, right George?

- You got it, big guy.

The runner takes the lead off first base.

He breaks for second!

He takes steps, he slides with his leg,

he's safe!

[audience applause]

- That's very good, George.

- Only I can't do it in .

- How many do you do it in?

- .

[audience laughter]

- Web, Katherine and I have something to talk to you about.

- Yeah, I know.

- You do?

- Sure. Whenever you come here b*ating around the bush

it's 'cause you got a problem.

- Well, we don't have a problem.

- Good.

- But there is something on our mind.

- A problem.

- Webster, when you're at school

do you ever feel that you don't belong?

- Well, once.

- You see?

- It happened last week when you dropped me

off on the way to work.

- What happened?

Did one of the children say something to hurt your feelings?

- No. No one talked to me at all.

- They ignored him.

Well, why didn't the children talk to you?

- No one was there.

You dropped me off on a Saturday.

[audience laughter and applause]

- Well, I didn't mean that time,

I meant the other times, you know?

- All the times they've been there.

And you've been pretty good about that ever since.

- Let me give it a sh*t here.

- It's all yours.

- Webster.

Do you and your friends ever talk about your parents

or us?

- Sometimes.

- And what do you say?

- They don't think I get enough allowance.

[audience laughter]

- Do you?

- Well,

- How much are we talking, Web?

- Another dime.

- A week?

- Can you handle it?

- Yep.

- Thanks. Can you make it cents?

- Yeah, cents is okay.

- Great! How about a buck?

- You're pushing it.

- All yours, sweetheart.

- Webster, when we all go out walking

do you ever get the feeling that people are staring at us?

- Let's quit b*ating around the bush.

Webster,

Katherine and I are white.

- Yeah, I know that.

- Good.

We might as well tell him the rest,

he's gonna figure it out sooner or later, right?

And you, you on the other hand,

- Don't tell me, black, right?

- It's going a lot smoother than I anticipated.

- Ma'am. Is something wrong?

- No, no, not wrong, exactly.

It's just that I,

Um...

Do you ever feel...

I... Do you...

Are you ever embarrassed

that George and I are your guardians?

- Embarrassed? I'm confused.

Do I do that to you?

- Oh no, of course not.

- Then I guess you don't do that to me.

- See, I told you, he's okay.

- Why don't you color?

George, look, maybe he doesn't understand

what we're trying to say.

He is only seven.

- Look, I got about six minutes

to lights out and I'm still working on Goofy's nose.

So if you don't mind.

- Okay, yeah.

Well listen, I'll be back in to tuck you in.

- You okay?

- Yeah.

- Yeah?

- Yes. Good night, Webster.

- Goodnight, ma'am.

They're very nice, Teddy.

They wouldn't ever wanna hurt my feelings.

But I don't think they were telling the truth.

I think I do embarrass them.

- Webster, what is the matter with you?

- Melanie, do I embarrass you?

- Webster, kids don't embarrass kids.

I think you can only embarrass your parents.

- I embarrass ma'am and George.

I make them uncomfortable.

- Webster, that's ridiculous.

- It's not.

I embarrass them.

- Webster, do you know what embarrassed means?

- Of course I do.

I wasn't born under a rock.

It means to make someone uncomfortable.

Webster, sometimes words mean more than one thing.

- They do?

- Sure. Like the word bare.

There's bare and there's bear.

See?

- No.

[audience laughter]

A bear like you know, mama bear, papa bear, baby bear.

And bare like buck-naked.

- You mean embarrass means buck-naked? [laughs]

[audience laughing and applauding]

- No. He's so young.

Here, "embarrass."

Number one. "To cause to feel self-conscious."

- I don't feel self-conscious.

- Great!

Number two. "To hinder."

- What's "to hinder?"

- A hinder is the rear end of a horse.

[audience laughing]

- Number three. "To cause to be in debit."

- Debt.

- What's that?

- That's when you need money.

- That's it.

That's what it means.

I'm costing ma'am and George a fortune.

- Then why don't you lend them some money?

You get an allowance.

- Yeah, and I just got a cent raise.

Boy, they must really be embarrassed.

- How you doing?

- I'm exhausted, I spent my entire Saturday at the library.

- [Kids] Hi, Mrs. Papadapolis! Bye, Mr. Papadapolis!

- Yes, goodbye!

What were you doing at the library?

- Oh, getting some data that Ellen recommended I read.

- What kind of data?

- Research.

White families raising black children.

- Are we still on that?

- Yes, we are still on that.

I have an article here about a judge who actually

took a black child out of a white couple's home.

- That was one case.

- Yeah, and there's a whole study of sociologists here too.

They have grave doubts about it.

- That's one study, for crying out loud.

Come on, Katherine.

I don't have any doubts.

- I do.

- Well I don't.

- [Kids] Hi, Mrs. Papadapolis! Bye, Mr. Papadapolis!

- Goodbye!

- I never knew Webster had so many friends.

- Yeah, you know, darling?

It's a little funny too because they

didn't come in here with all those toys.

- Oh, you don't think Webster's giving away

his toys just to make friends, do you?

- Here.

- What's that?

- It's a dollar .

It's all I can get, but I want you to have it.

- Webster, did you sell your toys?

- Yes ma'am.

- You sold your toys for a dollar ?

What's wrong, you crazy?

[audience laughter]

- Webster. I don't understand.

Why did you sell your toys?

- It's not enough, right?

You're still embarrassed.

- No, I'm not embarrassed, I'm confused.

- So was I until I looked it up.

Number three, to cause to be in debit.

- Financial embarrassment.

Here, take your money back.

We are not in debt.

- You're not?

- Our problem is much more serious than money.

I don't know if we're the right parents for you.

- Don't you like me?

- I like you very much.

But the truth is that you're black and we're white and

I'm not sure if being together as a family

is for the best.

- I don't mind that we're different colors.

Oh, I see.

You mind.

- Webster. - Hey.

Hey! - I do not mind.

Would you come back? - Come here!

Oh, Katherine, did you see? You just confused him now.

Okay?

- I did not confuse him,

this whole situation is confusing.

And I'm sick and tired of you taking this all so lightly.

- I'm not taking this lightly, darling.

I know this arrangement's gonna work.

- Webster has a right to know about his culture,

about his background, about his heritage, about

about where he comes from!

- Darling, we're not black.

I can't help that.

But we're the right family for Webster.

- How do you know?

How could you be so sure?

Make me sure.

- Web!

Sit down.

Sit down. Come on, both of you sit down.

Now I have something to tell you both.

That'll settle the whole thing, okay?

Now just listen to me for a minute.

[dreamy piano music]

- What the heck's taking so long?

- Will you calm down, please?

- I am calm, I'm just tense.

Oh. - What's the matter with you?

You sick or something?

- I'm having a baby, you idiot.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

I thought my wife was having a baby.

- Oh, I feel it kicking in there.

- George.

You think it was okay that we took off like that?

- We called time out.

[audience laughter]

- But it's been an hour.

- Will you relax?

The coach'll understand.

We're having a baby.

- A baby. [laughs]

Hey George, about the baby-

- Yeah, have you settled on a name yet?

- If it's a girl, we're gonna name her Georgia.

- Oh, that's beautiful.

That's just beautiful.

And if it's a boy?

- Webster.

- What kind of name is Webster?

- It's my father's name.

- Well, it's got a good ring to it.

- So listen, George, me and Gert were talking

and we'd like for you to be our kids' Godfather.

Is that okay with you?

- That's great with me, if it's okay with God.

- It's great with him!

- How about your family?

- Oh, they less amused than God is.

- 'Cause you're black?

- No, no, they think it's okay that I'm black.

You see, they're black too, George,

so it doesn't bother them.

- But I'm white?

- That bothers them.

- Oh, okay, then.

Why don't you make them the godparents?

- Okay. Listen man, I'm only kidding, all right?

There's no family on either side.

Gert's an only child.

There is no one else.

- Well, what about your brother?

- Philip? Eh, we don't get along.

- Travis. - [Travis] Hmm?

- You think it's okay for a white guy

to bring up a black child?

- I don't know about that, man.

But if you are the white guy

and it's my kid in question,

why are you being so difficult?

You want the gig or not?

- Well I was only thinking about people.

- You know how people are.

- People gonna think whatever they want to think.

It's never gonna change, George.

Not completely.

If people look at what we do

as some kind of social statement,

then that's their problem.

But I'm not giving you my kid to make a social statement.

I'm giving you my kid because

I love you, George Papadapolis.

We have the same values, the same standards, same soul.

You're the closest thing to me that I can think of.

- Georgia.

- Listen, don't get carried away and build a nursery

onto your house.

- What?

- I'm not going anywhere for a while, George,

you understand?

- Well, who said you were?

I was just thinking what's best for Georgia.

- Georgia?

- Georgia, yeah. Trust me.

I've never been wrong yet, it's gonna be a girl.

It's a gift.

A little girl. - A little girl.

[both laughing] A little girl!

- Travis Long?

- [Both] Yeah?

[audience laughter]

- Pick one.

- Him.

- That would've been my choice.

- Hey, doc, my wife?

- Our little girl, she all right?

- Everything is great.

- Everything's great?

- Only.

- [Both] Only what?

- Wait a minute, only what?

- Only your daughter is a son.

- A son?

- We're gonna have a son!

[Travis and George cheering]

You understand?

- So this is why I trust this.

That's why I'm so sure.

And if you don't trust me, trust Travis Long.

- Well, it isn't gonna be easy.

- Easy, well, Travis didn't say anything about easy.

It wouldn't be easy if Web was white.

I think we have a pretty good headstart.

Here's a little kid that loved us enough to

sell all his toys for a buck .

And a woman who cared enough to

risk losing that little boy.

If it would be the best thing for Web

and a man,

your pop, who was closer to me than his own brother.

I don't see easy, but I do see family, don't you?

- You know what I see?

I see that it's way past your bedtime.

- Sounds like a mother to me.

[audience laughter and applause]

- Bed, young man.

- I'm going.

Guys. I love you.

- We love you too.

- Goodnight!

- [Katherine And George] Night.

[audience applause]

- Oh no. - What's wrong?

What's the matter, sweetheart?

- It's just never gonna work.

I mean, I'm just not cut out to be a mother.

- What are you talking about?

Come on.

- I sent him to bed without any dinner.

Like the old woman in the shoe. [sobs]

[audience applause, jazz music]

[jazz music continues]