01x05 - Episode 5

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The End of the F***ing World". Aired: 24 October 2017 – 4 November 2019.*
Watch/Buy Amazon  Books

Series is based on Charles Forsman's mini-comics The End of the f*cking World, which were collected into a book in 2013.
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01x05 - Episode 5

Post by bunniefuu »

[rumbling]

[ominous chords]

[Phil] How are you feeling? Better?

Good

What're you two doing today, then?

Can we go feed the ducks?

- Ah, ducks! Sounds good
- No, James. I said,

[Vanessa] not today

Come on. You can manage ducks, can't you?

[Phil] Be good for you to get out

[James] Please?

[clock ticks]

OK

Ducks

[ominous music]

[brakes creak]

Hey, I want to tell you something

[silence]

I love you

[ducks quack]

I need to feed them

[door slams]

[excited quacking]

[rumbling]

[rumbling intensifies]

[crash]

[rumbling climaxes and fades]

[bell tolls]

[rumbling]

[clang]

[bang]

[muffled] Thanks for coming in, son

Son?

Hello?

[clock ticks ominously]

Yeah?

Sorry about the wait

I'm DC Onslow

They, um...

They told me you've, uh...

you've come in
to report a m*rder, is that right?

[James] In the cold light of day,
that suddenly didn't seem right at all

Uh-huh

OK, so, um...

- I'm gonna need you to come with me
- It was my mum

- Yeah, you just need to wait
- She k*lled herself

Right

OK

Um...

So, um, do you want to tell me what...

what happened?
Did you find the body? Your mum?

I was there when she did it

Right

Well, um...

And so, when did this...

when did this happen?

- Last night?
- 11 years ago

[clock ticks]

OK

Um...

So, here's the thing. Um...

It's not technically a m*rder

su1c1de, it's a whole,
different wheelhouse, really, um

I mean, su1c1de's not even a crime...

[uncomfortable laugh] ...which is...

mad, innit?

Do you want to speak to a woman?

Why would I want to speak to a woman?

Well, you know, because,
you know...

No

What about your dad?

Have you got a dad?

No, not really

Can we come in?

God, is it James?

Is he dead?

Your son stole your car...

then crashed it into a tree
and set fire to it

[Teri] It was found last night

Has he ever done anything
like that before?

Why didn't you say anything about the car
when you reported him missing?

Well, I didn't want him
to get into trouble

He's a weird kid, but he's not bad

[Teri] Uh, who did that to you?

I just got into a fight

At the pub

Did James do it?

No

[Eunice] Is his mum around?

No

[Teri] Is she at work?

She's dead

Sorry

Really sorry

Does anyone want a cup of tea?

[Phil] Kettle's on

Did you find his girlfriend, then?

- Who's his girlfriend?
- She's called Alyssa

[rock music]

[Alyssa] It was the right thing,
to leave James...

[deep rumble]

I didn't k*ll anyone

It's better if I go to my dad's
on my own, anyway

I wish I hadn't left James
with the money, though

Oh, God

I'd really like it if this was

some horrendous,
m*rder-inspired fantasy moment

But no

[music stops]

What's she done?

[baby gurgles]

Is she OK?

When did you last see Alyssa?

[Tony] On Saturday

We were having a party,
and she ran away

Why?

Didn't like handing out the canapés

What time did she leave?

[Tony] It was around...

I'm sorry. Could you let
your wife answer, please?

Sure

I mean, it's not my daughter,
not my problem

[baby gurgles] [rattle shakes]

[Eunice] Do you know where she is now?
Has she rung at all?

I don't know where she is

[Gwen] Look, what is this about?

We need to talk to your daughter
in connection with a m*rder

Oh, my God

- She's not a suspect
- Not at the moment

[Gwen] Jesus Christ!

She's a potential witness

[Teri] Didn't you think
to report her as missing?

Her boyfriend's dad
reported him immediately

She doesn't have a boyfriend

[Eunice] We're going to need
a recent photograph of Alyssa. Um...

Do you have one?

[defensive] I've got some upstairs

[baby gurgles]

[whispers] I can recommend
Childline or the NSPCC

[DC Onslow] OK, will do

Thanks

[beep] [door opens]

So, I've been speaking to my DI,
that was him on the phone there

What we thought would be
the best thing is if we put you

in touch with social services

And they can take things from here
What do you think?

Unless you've got someone else
who can look after you?

[indie music]

OK, so that's what I'm going to do, then

So...

[DC Onslow] So, I'm gonna need a few
details from you, young man

[clang]

So, first up... This is typical

Who do you have to f*ck around here
to get a pen that works?

Here we go

Uh, full name

[music fades]

Oh, sh*t

[upbeat punk rock]

♪ Well, it seems so real ♪

♪ I can see it ♪

♪ And it seems so real... ♪

[Alyssa] Sometimes, I hate being a girl

♪ And it seems so real ♪

♪ I can taste it ♪

♪ And it seems so real ♪

♪ I can hear it ♪

♪ So why-y-y-y-y ♪

♪ Can't I touch it? ♪

[Alyssa] In films, people on the run
always look hot

[sighs]

f*cking hell

♪ Can't I touch it? ♪

♪ But then it looks so real ♪

♪ I can see it ♪

♪ And it feels so... ♪

[music stops]

What've you got in there?

Hmm?

[Eunice] No wonder she ran away
Poor kid

Let's just wait and see

Are you sure?

I'm on a fast day

Thought you were tense

[foreboding music]

Can I say something?

Yeah

I think we should clear the air

Wait, just hear me out

Uh, I think it's more professional

Look...

people get drunk and...

stuff happens in the night that maybe
wouldn't happen in the day

And just because that comes
as a surprise,

it doesn't necessarily mean
it's a bad thing

I can see you regret it

[Teri] I don't regret it

I just wish it hadn't happened

[melancholy music]

- Alyssa
- I don't want to hold your hand

[dog barks]

[door closes heavily]

[loaded silence]

Did you take anything else?

Arms out

- What?
- Arms out

- Don't f*cking touch me
- Do you want me to call the police?

All right

How did you get that?

Are you going to look at me?

Hmm?

[Emil sighs]

- I don't want to have sex with you
- Wait, what?

I don't want to,
even if you pay me

I don't want to have sex with you!

I have sex with my wife

[Emil sighs]

[Alyssa] sh*t

What's going to happen to me?

I'm going to file a report
And then I'm going to call the police

- Police?
- Yes

You're a thief

[Alyssa] Not the police

[radio] Emil? A bloke's lost his kid

Little girl? Five years old?

I'm just handling something,
can you deal with it?

[radio] It's the end of my shift

All right, I'm coming

Stay here

f*cking idiot

[upbeat music]

[man] She is five, but she's really tiny,

and she's got brown hair
down to about here

No, I was just...

[music gets louder]

...gray leggings and a...

- Daddy!
- Oh, where have you been?

[man] Thank you

Thank you. Thank you so much!

[man] Don't do that again

[music stops]

[James] I knew
she was probably long gone...

but it seemed important to try

[melancholy music]

[Alyssa] James would be
sh1tting himself right now

I wonder what he's doing

[music fades]

Are you OK?

Yeah, I'm fine

Got a boyfriend?

Did he hurt you?

Did he do that?

No, someone else

[screech]

Go on, get out of here

Really?

Yeah

What about the pants?

Thanks

- Thanks
- Stop stealing

[melancholy French pop]

♪ Voilà ♪

♪ Je regarde les autres ♪

♪ Pourtant ♪

♪ Je ne leur trouve rien ♪

♪ C'est comme ça ♪

♪ Voilà ♪

♪ Je vais avec les autres ♪

[Alyssa] What the f*ck am I doing?

♪ Le temps ♪

♪ Passe plus mal que bien ♪

♪ C'est comme ça ♪

♪ Et toi... ♪

[Alyssa] What if James is dead?

He might literally be dead

He saved me and I left him

I'm never going to see him again
And it's my fault

♪ Est-ce encore toi que j'aime? ♪

[music builds]

♪ Que j'aime? ♪

♪ Que j'aime? ♪

[music fades]

- Hey
- Hey

I lost the money

I didn't come back for the money

I'm sorry I left you

I'm sorry I k*lled him

I won't leave you again

OK

Should we go to my dad's?

OK

[soft jazz]

Not your weird one

[music builds]

♪ If I told a lie ♪

♪ If I made you cry ♪

♪ When I said goodbye ♪

♪ I'm sorry ♪

♪ From the bottom of ♪

♪ Of my heart ♪

♪ I apologize ♪

♪ If I caused you pain ♪

♪ I know ♪

♪ That I'm to blame ♪
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