01x03 - Fool's Goal/El Tigre, El Jefe

[bunniefuu]

[El tigre roar]

Announcer:miracle city,

A spicy cesspool of crime

And villainy.

This is the story of

Manny rivera,

Better known as...

[El tigre roar]

Manny: el tigre!

Son of the legendary hero...

White pantera!

Grandson of the evil

Super villain...

Puma loco.

[♪...]

Crowd: el tigre!

[Sirens wailing]

[Cheering]

El tigre!

[♪...]

[Roaring]

[El tigre roar]

Crowd: el tigre!

Crowd: el tigre! [♪...]

[♪...]

Singer: oy, ha, ha, ha-ha!

Miracle city junior matadors.

You begin this season

As a finer team than ever

Before.

You have strength.

You have speed.

And most importantly,

You have honor.

Now go out there and play like

The true champions you are.

[Chanting]: matadors!

Matadors, matadors!

[Sounds of fighting]

[Weakly]: matadors, matadors,

Matadors.

Referee!

That team is not of

Middle school age.

[Laughter]

Dad, how could we win

The championship for

Miracle city if we're the only

Team in the league that doesn't

Cheat?

Now, manny, wouldn't you

Rather lose with honor

Than win with dishonor?

Oh, well...

What was the question again?

Oh...

What has become of my matadors?

When I played, we b*at every

Team in the league.

[Laughs]

Not every team.

Ai!

General chapuza,

You old nemesis, you.

Your miracle city matadors

Have never beaten my

Calavera zombies.

And this year will be

No different.

Especially with me coaching

A team led by my grandson, che.

Grandfather.

When may I torment and destroy

The matadors?

Soon, my grandson, soon.

[Both laugh]

This year, the matadors

Will defeat the zombies.

This I swear!

Dad?

Uh, if we're gonna win

The championship, maybe

We should play, you know,

Uh, like the other teams.

[Gasps]

Are you suggesting we...

Cheat?

No, of course not, never!

A little.

It is as I feared.

You have been corrupted

By the lure of winning.

[Sniffs]

Ai...

Mijo,when I played for

The matadors, we could have

Won by cheating.

But only if I broke the most

Sacred rule, and used

My super powers.

I refused.

We lost the championship.

But I kept my honor.

And how'd everyone feel

About that?

They respected me.

Also, they threw rocks.

So let me get this straight.

If you cheat, you win.

If you don't cheat,

People throw rocks at you?

Rocks of honor.

[Trumpet blows]

I am glad we had this talk,

My son.

Back in my day, miracle city

Won every trophy imaginable.

Except for the league

Championship.

And we're not gonna win it

This year with no-cheaty-petey

Coaching us.

Then I will not have

My revenge on general chapuza.

Oh, well.

Nothing we can do about it,sií?

Duh...

Gasp, a jug band.

I do hope that rodolfo

May not hear them, for he is

Highly allergic to the jug band

Music, and may fall ill

And become unable to coach

Your team.

[Whistles]

Well?

I want to win that trophy,

But...

Manny, do it for the team.

For the team.

Dad?

There's some people here to

See you.

Dad: yes?

Augh!

[Farts]

Eew.

Pretty.

Blech.

[Coughs]

It will be days before I can

Coach the team.

Or wear normal pants.

Or wear normal pants. I have failed you.

I have failed you.

Papi.

Youcould coach the team.

I?

Hmm.

This is an idea which I have

Never considered it.

[Coughs]

I know you're very busy-

You have convinced me.

Come, childrens, off to

Practice.

Oh, and papi.

There will be no cheating, yes?

[Gasps]

Cheat?

Me?

I am sorry, father.

Matadors.

Cheating isn't everything.

It is the only thing!

[Chanting]: matadors,

[Chanting]: matadors, matadors, matadors, matadors!

Matadors, matadors, matadors!

[Whistle blows]

[Bowling pins crashing]

[Bowling pins crashing] [grunting]

[Grunting]

Man: goal!

Man: goal! [Cheering]

[Cheering]

[Grunts]

[Laughter]

Manny: now, stage dive!

[Grunts]

[Grunts]

[Cheering]

Hee-ah!

[Bull bellows]

[Grunts]

[Grunts] [cheering]

[Cheering]

Pirate: argh!

[Whistle blows]

Goal!

Goal! [Cheering]

[Cheering]

I brought you a grapefruit

Basket, dad.

Uh, to go with the other ones.

Manny, if I didn't know you

Better, I'd think you were

Lavishing me with gifts

To relieve some guilt

You're feeling that's gnawing

Away at your insides

Like a starved rat.

A starved rat!

So how is the team doing?

We've won games in a row,

And we're in the championship

Against calavera!

And it's all because...

I taught you to play fair?

Not cheat and compete

With honor?

Yeah...

Well, I should go.

Manny?

Manny: yes?

I'm very proud of you.

Yeah, thanks.

[Cheering]

[Cheering] [cheering]

[Cheering]

[Screaming]

It's o.k., Everyone, only

A little puffy.

[Laughs]

Uh, not a monster.

I'm here to see my son

Prove the superiority

Of fair play.

[Growling]

Matadors!

Huddle up.

This is it, team.

The chance to bring the trophy

Home to miracle city.

Is there anything anyone

Would like to say before

You take the field?

Yes.

How 'bout we play fair,

Don't cheat, and compete

With honor?

[Laughter]

Mijo,always with the jokes

To keep the team loose.

[Laughs]

Now get out there and cheat like

You've never cheated before!

[Whistle blows]

[Grunts]

O.k., Team, let's show them

How the matadors play.

[Whistle blows]

[Growls]

Look, a pony!

[Screams girlishly]

This, this is not fair play.

[Screams]

[Cheering]

[Cheering]

[Whistle blows]

Che: [grunts]

[Cheering]

[Whistle blows]

Half-time.

[Laughs]

We are doomed!

Doomed to a defeat that will

Haunt us forever.

[Spine cracks]

Unless...

Manny, we need el tigre.

All: [gasp]

I can't use my super powers.

Dad would never forgive me

If I broke that most sacred

Rule.

If I play as el tigre,

I will lose what little honor

I have left.

And if you do not,

And if you do not, then we havealllost.

Then we havealllost.

Then we havealllost. [Laughs]

[Laughs]

I'll do it.

[El tigre roar]

A disguise to fool

The referee.

The referee. [Whistle blows]

[Whistle blows]

[Cheering]

[Whistle blows]

[Cheering]

My hair.

My beautiful hair.

The time has come.

We must use our secret w*apon.

Yeah.

I'm going to pop their heads off

Like bottle caps.

Like bottle caps. That's a good boy.

That's a good boy.

Manny, one more goal

And we're tied.

We might really win

The championship.

[Laughs]

[Gulps]

[Gulps] [cheering]

[Cheering]

[Chanting]: tigre, tigre,

Tig... Ooh...

Manny?

No.

No!

[Inhales loudly]

No!

Audience: [gasps]

If we're gonna win

This thing, we're gonna do it

This thing, we're gonna do it with honor.

With honor.

[Gasps]

[Gasps]

[Gasps]

Ai!

[Gasps]

Audience: oh...

[Whistle blows]

Oh.

Audience: [boos]

Hooray for us.

I couldn't do it.

As much as I wanted

That trophy, honor was

More important.

Yes,mijo.

And some day, people will

Respect you for this decision.

But for now...

Run!

[Shouting]

Ah, the sweet sting

Of rocks of honor.

They feel good, don't they?

They feel like rocks, dad.

They feel like rocks, dad. They feel like rocks!

They feel like rocks!

They feel like rocks! [♪...]

[♪...]

[Sirens wailing]

[Sirens wailing] [truck horn blows]

[Truck horn blows]

Sancho panza!

Free toilet paper!

[Laughs]

Ah, it's a thing of beauty.

No!

It is a thing of ugly!

Clean.

Now.

Ah, the recycling center.

Do you accept used toilet paper?

Yeah.

Unfortunately.

I'm sorry, dad.

It's hard not to be bad.

There are so many opportunities.

[Laughs]

There are opportunities

To help as well, manny.

Sometimes you just have to

Look for them.

[expl*si*n]

Other times, not so much.

I need a-metal to make

This city pay for a-what it

Has-a done to me.

And I'm a-gonna get it.

And I'm a-gonna get it. You want metal?

You want metal?

[Laughs]

You ain't a-seen the last

Of me.

Ya mangy coyote.

O.k., Be good!

Gee.

Thanks for saving the day.

Fear not, good citizen.

Fear not, good citizen. I am here to help.

I am here to help.

Awesome!

You see,mijo?

Helping is fun.

Man, if you get to do stuff

Like that, I'm gonna help

Until it hurts.

So...

You want-a to help, huh,

El tigre?

Just like-a you "helped"

When I was utterly humiliated

By the people of-a miracle city.

[Old-fashioned piano playing]

When I came a-to this famous

A-western city,

I thought at last I could be

The cowboy I had always dreamed

Of being.

But on my first day of school...

Howdy, "pardners".

I'm-a cowboy sergio, and this is

My trusty steed,

Mr. Broomy horse.

[Trumpet neighs]

Yee-haw...

[Laughter]

Huh?

Yippy-kai-yay, man.

Uh, the elementary school's

Down the road.

I'm in-a seventh grade.

Oh, uh...

[Laughs nervously]

Oh.

[Laughter]

Sergio: I rode off,

Their pitiless laughter searing

My very soul.

But as I rode home, I found that

Everywhere in-a miracle city...

It was-a the same.

Now it isiwho will laugh

At them!

As soon as I complete...

As soon as I complete... Mr. Broomy horse mark seven!

Mr. Broomy horse mark seven!

[Growls]

I am here to help.

I am here to help.

Dude, that's starting to

Creep me out.

Aaron, you haven't done

Your homework in weeks.

This is it.

Turn in your assignment

Tomorrow, or you will be

Expelled!

No more school?

Wow, thanks.

Young man, you need help.

Help?

[Video game-like version of

"The mexican hat dance" plays]

Wha...?

I am here to help.

You see?

Gravity is what made

The apple fall.

Um, I gotta go to

The bathroom.

The bathroom. Gravity will help you do it.

Gravity will help you do it.

Come on, aaron.

[Toilet flushes]

Goat: hmph!

[Video game noises]

[El tigre roar]

You are gonna do your

Homework, my friend, or else

"Super macho fighter" gets it.

[School bell rings]

Class, not only did aaron

Do his homework, [laughs]

He got a perfect score

On today's pop quiz!

This one's for you, manny.

Thanks for helping.

You did a good thing, dude.

[Cheering]

O.k., I got gym, now.

What do you got going on?

I will continue to help.

Let no man try to stop me!

Have fun, crazy.

[El tigre roar]

[Screams]

You are wearing a new white

Shirt and are about to eat

A sloppy joe.

To keep your shirt clean,

From now on you will eat

Only crackers.

Flavorless, dry crackers!

[Screams like a chicken]

Lack of muscle tone

Is unhealthy.

Do , push-ups...

A day!

Stop wasting time with that

Yo-yo and do something

Constructive, like...

Learn to play the banjo!

Play better!

And you.

High heels arebadfor

Your arches.

Take 'em off!

El tigre is here!

To... Help!

[Gasps]

What?

I'm here to help.

Crowd: [screams]

Hey, check this out.

Mira.

You're gonna win that diorama

Contest for sure.

But this isn't a diorama.

Manny, you can't force people

To change.

But you're not doing it to me,

So who cares, right?

All right, let's get going.

Going?

Yeah, me and the atomic

Sombreros are doing a lunch

Concert, remember?

This band thing is going

Nowhere, frida.

You need to give it up

And learn something practical,

Like how to tap dance!

[Gasps]

Give up my band?

Wait.

Now youaredoing it to me.

I said...

Learn to tap dance!

Somebody should a-really

Do something about that guy,

Huh?

Yeah.

Somebody should.

[Whispering]

People, I want help-zilla out,

And the old manny back.

And sergio here has an idea

How we can do it.

I believe I know someone

Who can help.

Someone who can...

Show el tigre the error

Of his ways.

Like a counselor, right?

[Laughs]: yes.

A counselor.

A counselor. [Laughs maniacally]

[Laughs maniacally]

Uh, i, uh, I just remembered

A joke.

Man, I look good.

Boy: you look like a bully!

Frida?

What is this?

Manny, there's someone

I want you to talk to.

Where's sergio's friend?

Here.

Ooh, this may have been

A mistake.

It's over, pardner.

No more bullying these

Fine-a folks.

Bullying them?

I was helping them.

Right, guys?

[Cheering]

[Cheering] I thought I was doing good.

I thought I was doing good.

Yee-haw!

[Cheering and laughter]

[Laughs]

Crowd: ooh...

There's a new sheriff

In town,amigos!

Crowd: [screams]

Oh, yeah.

Mistake.

Git along, little doggies.

My trusty steed's

Prit' near done, and soon

I'm-a gonna crush this city

Under his hooves of doom!

And no one will ever laugh at me

Again.

[Cat meows]

Frida: [grunts]

Pst.

You would say that.

I swear I didn't mean for

This to happen, manny.

You've gotta help us.

Iwashelping.

How could you do this to me?

Don't you know you can't

Force people to change?

Yeah, I know that.

Do you?

Of course, i-

Oh...

This, this is all my fault.

Yep...

I need my belt.

Back to work, little filly.

You got a sensor array

To install.

Installthis.

Villain: what's it...?

Manny!

[Grunts]

[Whispers]: catch.

[El tigre roar]

Siniestro!

Showdown.

Suits me, pilgrim.

Cause my ride's k*ll.

[Neighs]

Oh...

Siniestro: now at w*r.

Siniestro: now at w*r. Giddy-up, my mighty steed.

Giddy-up, my mighty steed.

Who's laughing now, huh?

Who's laughing now?

Time to tether that horse.

[♪...]

Mr. Broomy horse mark seven!

Dad-burn it.

I'll be back.

And next time, I'll be bigger.

Next time, I'll be

More powerful.

And next time, I'll design

An escape pod with a parachute!

[Pops]

D'oh.

[Sirens wail in distance]

Everybody, I just wanted to

Say I'm sorry for the threats,

The bossing you around,

The listening in on your

Phone calls.

You did what now?

But I think we've all learned

A valuable lesson.

And if you've got a few minutes,

[Clears throat]

Help is like a wrestling match,

It's-

[Playing "la cucaracha"]

[Cheering]

A little help here?

A little help here? [♪...]

[♪...]

[Kids cheering]

Manny: look, a pony!

Manny: look, a pony! [Girlish screaming]