Italy is the
country of the sun...
of songs and palaces.
In every city there is
some famous palace.
Architectural masterpieces
evoking a glorious past,
a prestigious history,
that are visited by multitudes
from all over the world.
But there also exist
palaces no one cares to see.
Nobody appreciates them,
let alone wants to enter inside.
"Ministry of Finance
Tax Bureau"
Still, taxes are necessary.
Thanks to taxes
public services work perfectly.
Our cars...
they glide silently
on well-paved roads.
The representatives of the law
are always at your disposal...
vigilant and busy.
To protect the taxpayer from the,
at times, government's excessive concern
A new profession is born:
"Tax consultant"
Yes... yes... yes...
I'm happy everything's sorted out.
Alright... Then I'll drop by your place...
Yes...
For lunch...
Alright!
If you think you'll move the tax collector
with the face you're pulling, you're wrong
My life has turned into
a nightmare...
I'll wake you up!
- How will you find a solution?
- | always do!
What can we do about my villa?
What villa?
The villa I've just bought!
I'm sorry but...
- Your family name?
- Bianchi.
- And your first name?
- Gaston!
You only have to worry about your problem,
while I deal with all of you!
Bianchi!
Gaston.
Ah! Alright!
Here we are!
One second.
Let's go over my situation once more.
I bought that villa with 40,000,000.
What worries me is that the IRS will surely
ask me where I got that money from.
Yes. How do | justify that money
I never paid a dime of taxes for...
Nothing easier...
Are you married?
- Yes.
- Alright.
- And the villa on your wife's name...
- Of course.
Then, there's no problem.
The villa is your wife's.
But where could my wife have
found 40,000,000?
Not in your pocket,
evidently...
- Nor in my neighbor’s pocket...
- That's it, you see! Exactly!
- Please, let's be serious...
- No? Alright...
- Is your wife beautiful?
- Very. But what's that got to do?
Then, you didn't buy the villa,
another man did.
- Who?
- A friend.
- One of my friends?
- A friend of your wife's...
Are you mad?! I refuse to say she has a
friend who gives her money!
But you have to!
For the IRS!
- Then I'll look like a...
- Not at all!
Rest assured:
a cuckold doesn't pay anything extra.
No! No!
That really is too much!
This man's wife must not be
under suspicion!
Listen: cheating the state is more
serious than being cheated!
Mark my words!
Hello?
Mr. Curto's office?
Hello?
I am Mr. Pezzella.
Pezzella.
Ah good morning, Mr. Pezzella.
Yes, say.
Accountant...
A nice surprise...
About your taxes...
Yes. They accepted the
figure we declared.
Oh well, but natural, it's
natural, I was more than sure.
EXCUSE me for a moment.
It's Mr. Pezzella,
a client of mine.
Since he put himself
in my hands, he...
Yes. All right.
I'm delighted.
Well, now I'll be waiting...
D'you get me?...
I said I'll be waiting...
Absolutely. I have already provided.
I'll send the envelope to you right away.
Eh? Goodbye.
A kiss to the children.
A kiss to your...
Er... greetings to your wife,
and see you soon.
Goodbye.
Done.
Done.
Yes.
Maria!
- Yes, sir.
Get dressed right away.
You have to do an urgent commission.
You have to go to the Curto studio.
Do you know him? You've been there before.
- Yes, yes...
You will give him this.
This envelope.
Be careful: there are 100,000 lira...
- Dad, if you want I'll go.
Not that stupid to give you money,
so you can spend it!
Yes...
Here are 5,000 lira.
On your way back...
.. you will stop at
St. Augustine's church...
Yes.
and light a taper...
No, a candle, a big one!,
at his statue!
It'll bring me luck.
MINISTRY OF FINANCES
MULTIPURPOSE SECTION
- Good morning, sir.
- Good morning.
I've summoned you because the Pezzella
store's been brought to our attention
In Via Aurelia.
Take a look, there must be a note.
Or at least I think I saw it this morning.
- Pezzella...
Here: "declared turnover would
seem clearly insufficient."
- Large advertising expenses.
- Have it controlled right away.
Send someone capable,
right?
I'll send Inspector Topponi,
he's in charge of
the department stores.
Yes, Topponi is
just the right man.
- Where is it?
- There.
- Only one store?
- Only one.
- No branches?
- No.
Alright.
Bus stop in front...
.. taxicab stand...
.. luxury store...
all brass showcase...
.. velvet curtains...
See how much they pay per quarter?
- All inclusive?
Yes, all taxes...
- Forty.
- Forty!
That's what a street vendor pays.
Follow me.
Madam, it'll be
66,000 lira.
Here's the change:
67...
.. 68...
.. 69...
70.
- I'll be with you right away, gentlemen.
- Take your time, please...
- Let's take a look.
- I'll only be a second.
And don't forget our lottery:
there's a number on every raincoat!
You could win a Vespa.
Don't forget! Don't forget!
Goodbye and thank you, madam.
You can believe me, miss:
9,000 is a really fair price.
- Good morning, gentlemen.
- Good morning, miss.
- It seems expensive to me.
- For this quality?!...
We sell two dozens a day...
- D'you guarantee that...
- Rest assured.
Twenty-four times nine gives what?
- 634.
- It seems too much...
- 24 times 9 gives what?
- What?
- 24 times 9.
- Two hundred and sixteen.
- That's it.
- Right.
Did you find anything
to your liking?
Well...
| see you only sell
returned items.
For the love of God, sir, I only have top
quality items, no average stuff,
and our ready-to-wear
is tailor-made!
Right, but, looking at the shopwindow,
one wouldn't say so.
Well, maybe... but you must look
at the inside, not the outside.
All right, but I come from outside.
- You're not from here?
No, I mean your frontage gives a totally
different impression.
| get it.
I don't have a very nice shop window...
.. with beautiful neon lights...
- And why don't you have it?
Do you want me to tell you why?
- Please.
You are afraid of taxes.
Look".
- Yes?
If I understand correctly,
are you also a merchant?
- Do I look like one?
- Wouldn't say so.
Do you know how those
tax-collecting gentlemen are?
They search here, they search there,
you know their ways...
- Well, in a certain sense.
- You know them.
They go by,
they see a nice shopwindow...
they see a nice display,
they enter...
They ask if the sale is good...
- Exactly!
- They make you talk.
- Exactly!
- You say business is good,
You say that you earn a lot of money.
- Exactly.
And when they've made you
trust them...
they take out their ID...
- Their ID, exactly, exactly!
- They give it to you...
- Yes, yes... they give it to you,
they give it to you...
- No no, read it, read.
- No, I'm not curious.
- Read, please.
- The ID?
- Yes.
Oh well, if you insist...
- Oh how sweet! Is that you?
- Yes.
- Younger, without moustache...
- Yes.
- Without a mustache, yes, yes.
- See what's written underneath...
What's written?... Eh.
There is something written there.
- Inspec... tor...
- Tor.
To... Topponi.
- Yes.
- From the...
- Multipurpose...
Section.
Allow me...
The management...
It depends.
Where do you want to go?
The offices of the management...
- Is it this way?
- Yes, this way.
I am sorry.
Me too..
- Bardi.
- Bardi.
- Please.
- Please.
Thank you.
Bardi.
Please, go right ahead!
Inspect everything, it suits me!
You know, if I pay a tax consultant
I want my accounts
properly kept.
So, if you find anything wrong,
you must tell me.
If such is the case,
I swear he'll hear from me!
It'd only be right,
because,
if such was the case,
you'd pay a serious fine.
- What?!
- Oh yes !
Too bad.
If I'll have to, I'll pay.
- Let's hope it won't be anything much...
- Well this....
It's up to...you.
No. It depends on
the way you kept your books.
There's nothing I can do.
- What is it?
- Sir, that person is on the second line.
Ah yes. I'll be right away.
Please excuse me, it won't be long.
Just one minute.
- Feel yourselves at home.
- We will.
The Multipurpose is here!
- The Multipurpose!
- They've arrived?!
Oh, they've arrived!
Even better.
How are they?
This is good news.
Good news.
You're talking nonsense!
You don't get it!
I'm telling you the
Multipurpose is here!
The Multipurpose!
I've understood,
I've understood,
but we'll talk
about it another day.
No, no, not now.
What are you talking about?!
We have to talk about it right away!
I'm telling you they are in my office!
Tell me what am | to do!
Well, here's what you have to do...
well...
Be nice... understanding...
.. try to stall...
- Yes, yes.
- Listen, right now...
.. I can't, but I promise I'd be at your
place tonight, for dinner.
Thank you.
Well, everything's well,
that ends well...
I can't, darling.
But you adore pheasant...
Since the Multipurpose came at the shop,
I can't eat a thing.
That's not what'll spoil my appetite.
Dad, you're worrying too much.
Me, I'm calm like Baptiste.
Of course you are.
You lack responsibility.
You only care about taking my car, driving
on the Vespa, or chasing girls.
Leave him be...
It's his age, after all...
Sure, take his side, of course!
Take his side!
I was working when I was his age!
- And do you know what I was doing?
- We know, we know, since long ago.
Give it to me, Elvira,
I'll serve the salad myself
Get the cheese and fruits ready.
I'll call you right away.
Do you absolutely want the servant to know
you used to sell tissues dressed as a Turk?
As a sailor.
| dressed as a Turk when selling carpets.
Same thing! Sailor or Turk,
I don't want this to be known.
- Oh, it bothers you!...
- Yes.
- It bothers you?
- Yes.
Then know that, the way we're going,
I'll soon be selling carpets again!
And I'll start wearing a fez again!
You love exaggerating...
But, if your files are so important,
as my husband seems to be saying,
why not bring them here,
instead of keeping them at the office?
- How stupid!
They have to be kept at the office!
It's about invoices,
unpaid drafts...
Don't get mad.
I have the right to ask.
Laws have to be changed,
my dear sir!
Bah, bah,
I couldn't understand a word!
- The MPs have other issues.
- That's where the problem lies.
The MP5 are the champions of the people.
They should care less about speeches,
and alleviate the terrible fiscal burden
crushing the taxpayer.
Ask St Augustine what is he thinking,
up there!
That's what made you name me Augustine?!
You should be proud of your name,
moron!
St Augustine said that when taxes become
too heavy,
not paying them it's not a sin!
As I have his absolution,
my conscience is crystal clear!
And I'll continue on my way!
What do you think, dear sir?
I have no intention of getting naked
to Paradise!
My head is spinning.
The wine is good, even if a little young.
That's it, he's drunk...
Believe me, don't drink that much.
It's bad for you.
Leave a little for another day.
Come, come.
That's enough.
Take a sit.
Here, sit down.
An advice, my dear adviser.
You must teach me how to deal
with this inspector.
It's very simple! Today you panicked
because I wasn't there. It's normal!
I know, I know!
But, then, tell me what I have to do!
- Do you trust me?
- Of course!
Then...
let me deal with him.
I... tomorrow...
your specialist...
.. I'll go meet your inspector...
- Yes.
.. and everything will fall into place!
- That's it!
- Fine.
- Are you satisfied?
- Yes. Very!
D'you want a tablet?
No, thanks. I take a syrup.
No tablets.
- Excuse me.
- No need.
Have you seen this?
Throw a glance over it.
Oh this is...
We did it.
This gentleman must then be
your famous tax consultant.
More than famous...
Let's not exaggerate...
Humble...
No, don't be modest,
my dear sir!
I have to say this, inspector,
he's great, he's outstanding.
No, no... You'll make me end up
paying more taxes...
Rest assured.
We know very well how much you make,
very well, rest assured.
You know, I work with merchants, and they
are not too generous, the merchants...
What?!
Haven't you received the...?
Besides, Mr. Pezzella doesn't give much,
but he gives well,
the way you give matters more
than how much you give.
Mr. Pezzella is honesty itself, and,
besides,
I earn very little, very little.
| only work legally.
Talking about legality...
Does this look legal?
Look at the invoice!
What is this?!...
What is this?!
- What does this mean?
- You know what it means.
D'you know what this means?
It seems you have infringed article 380
concerning the turnover.
What did you do?
You added the subtractions,
and you subtracted the additions!
- Have you understood?
- Yes, yes.
- I haven't quite understood. Say it again.
- No.
No, ask him to.
Let's take the case of a grocer who
reports proportionally
and gets an a*t*matic 10% fine.
- No.
Besides that he gets a 20% proportional
fine...
No, allow me to explain.
It's very simple.
Add to your turnover
the 20% tax.
You subtract 10% from this 20%
and transfer that sum to the total
and that's what you must pay.
Here! Here!
You pay 20% more!
- That's enough!
- You're very competent in this matter.
- Thank you.
- Enough. I've understood everything.
Inspector, do you mind if I'll be absent
a little while with my tax consultant?
- Please do.
- I want to tell him something.
- Just one word.
- Do as you wish.
- Come with me, come with me.
- Allow me.
Come with me...
Go ahead!
Walk till there and then stop.
Now cover your eyes with
your hands.
Like that,
that's very well.
I'll make you an
unexpected surprise.
- With both hands?
- Like that.
Are you ready?
One, two, and three!
You always like to joke...
Get lost.
Get lost, sir, get lost,
I beg you!
- But why?
- Why?!
You have the nerve to ask me why?!
Who is in trouble, you, wretched,
is it you, or me?
I'm just your tax consultant!
Yes, and the hell you helped me!
I'm done for!
I'll never recover with those guys!
Can I tell you?
You are an ignorant.
I'm an ignorant?!
Telling me this...
An ignorant in fiscal matters...
- So you really didn't get it?
- No.
- You didn't understand it was tactical?
- What?!
- Tactical?
- The wind of genius won't give you a cold
You wouldn't want me to strangle him,
would you?
I would, With your tactic,
it's them who'll end up strangling me!
Sometimes one has to have the courage to
look like an imbecile...
Anyway, right now,
I'm the only one who can still save you.
You can?!...
Is that for sure?
Isn't it too late,
me dear friend?
They can hear us.
Come this way.
My raincoats smell nice,
don't they?
I'm an ignorant.
In fiscal matters, you are. You don't buy
men wholesale, you do individually...
So you think...
our man...
.. if caught alone,
could prove amenable?
Yes, yes...
but we'll have to go easy on him.
We must... sound him.
Sound him?...
Then we'll need a probe.
We have the probe...
it's money.
Yes... A great idea!
- Look, look!
- Is it him?
- No, look!
- It's him!
- No!
- Who then?
- It started raining.
- So what?
- Well?
- Well...
- What'll happen to him when he gets out?
- He'll get wet.
No...
You really are an ignorant.
- In fiscal matters?
- Yes.
- Alright...
- He won't get wet 'cause you'll lend him
.. a raincoat...
- Yes! A nylon one!
- Yes.
- Great idea!
- And you won't ask him to return it...
What if he forgets to bring it back?
- You raise the dose...
- Two raincoats!
- A pair!
- Something else.
- Something else?!
God, what kind of a man are you!...
- How can I help you Miss?
- I want to give Mr. Topponi his umbrella.
- And you would be...?
- I am his daughter.
His daughter...
You really want to give him
this umbrella?
It rains heavily. Dad called me to
bring it to him without fail.
Then, please wait a second and I'll
take you to your Dad.
Thank you.
We're done for!
Now what?
If I may lack money,
I never lack ideas...
You say so...
What about a little present?
For you?...
Then for whom?
For Topponi, but his home.
That's very nice,
but how will we find his address?
- The directory...
- Very well, let's go!
Please, Miss!
No, not that one!
Father would k*ll me.
Tino, we have a wager you'll seduce
the first girl who enters.
If you back off, I'll take the three
shirts and off I am.
Alright,
but I have time until Sunday.
Thank you, Nini,
now you must go home, it's getting late.
Shouldn't I wait for you?
- No, sweetie...
- If you want to go with her...
You don't realize the work
I'm doing here...
You're working too much, inspector!
You're k*lling yourself, you really do!
Tell your Daddy he's k*lling himself!
He works too much!
| always do tell him,
but he won't listen to me!
Go home, Nini.
And tell mummy not to worry.
I might skip lunch.
- Very well.
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye, Nini, goodbye.
- Goodbye... Oh!...
We're watching TV tonight;
don't come too late.
Maybe I won't be able to make it this
evening either...
- A pity. Bye.
- I'll see you off.
Excuse me, Miss. I look for embassy.
You know embassy where is?
- Which embassy?
- American embassy.
American embassy,
you understand?
Oh yes. Via Veneto.
I speak bad.
Can I take you by car?
- I can't go with someone I don't know.
- Why? I am serious. My father is a pastor.
Yes, my father is a protestant pastor.
Oh...
He's a protestant pastor.
Yes, yes... I am good boy, serious,
well educationated.
Damn moron! My Vespa!
- Be careful!
- I'm sorry.
Not as sorry as I am!
- You've ruined everything...
- No, take it up and it'll run.
I know this one will,
the other one won't!
So, inspector,
you won't be going home tonight...
- Of course, why shouldn't I?
- Well, you told your daughter...
Saying I won't be coming tonight,
I was only meaning the TV,
because we don't watch TV
at our home.
- Not at your home?
- No, we don't have one,
so we watch it at a friend,
who lives on the floor above us.
- D'you like TV?
- Well...
Well...
- Shows about fishing...
- I am mad about fishing shows too!
Fishing, hunting... We have similar
tastes. One'd say we are brothers.
Why haven't you bought a TV?
Well...
It'd relax you.
- I prefer to relax differently.
- Right.
I was saying: on September 25th...
.. you bought 25 pairs of skiing boots.
- Yes...
Please, don't be mad on me!
I did it only for fun.
Give up this little game
because it has already lasted too much.
- Go play the fool somewhere else.
- But I wasn't playing the fool.
- I was playing the American.
- Then I'll take french leave.
Allow me, at least,
to accompany you.
I'll allow you that.
Great, my Vespa is here!
There's no need,
I live right there.
Goodbye.
- She lives there?
- Yes, but why are you asking that?
I want to know if she lives here.
What?! At your age you're still
chasing after young girls?!
Come on! What's the matter with you?!
Who was the one following her?
You were following here! You!
I saw you!
You were following her.
I saw you.
Weren't you aware she was
the inspector's daughter?!
So what?
Why should this concern you?
- It's very serious for me and your father!
- Yes, he mustn't find out about this.
- Alright. With one condition.
- What?
- The girl's address.
- Yes.
Well... the inspector's address:
it'll be me who found it.
- Deal.
- It was I.
Deal, but,
concerning the girl,
swear your lips are sealed.
- Laura!
- Hello, auntie.
Come in, my dear, come in.
- How are you?
- Not bad, thanks.
This is quite a nice surprise.
How come you dropped by?
A boy was following me so I came up
to lose him.
You did very well. Ernest!
Ernest, it's Laura!...
Ernest, Laura came to see us!
- Hello, uncle.
- Hello.
Sit down, my dear.
Well...
I was beginning to think you
had forgotten where we were living...
35 Navona square...
Perfect!
Perfect,
my dear tax consultant.
You've done me a huge favor, worth,
at least, 10,000 lira. Here it is.
It wasn't my intention to offend you...
What d'you think?!
That all I had to do
was open a directory?!
Don't you realize this address is more
important for you than...
.. the plans for the atomic b*mb?
I consider that...
.. I consider that...
.. I consider, I don't know...
.. consider... consider... 30,000 lira...
Ah... is this over?
Let's get to business now.
We must send him a TV set!
You will choose it.
Buy the largest possible, a huge one:
22, 25, 40, 80, or 1m, if it exists!
We must send it to him
by this evening!
You are an ignorant.
- In fiscal matters...
- Not to him, to his wife.
- To his wife?! - Always send the wife
a present for the husband!
- Really?!
- Always!
Always...
No, I'll pay for the TV.
Hello, ma'am.
- Hello.
- We have this to deliver to you.
- To me?!
- Aren't you Mrs. Topponi?
Yes, it's me,
but who's sending this?
That I don't know,
but it's paid for anyway.
If it's paid for, come in,
you're welcome!
Ernest!
They're delivering a gift for me!
This way... Put it here.
Above that... Perfect!
- There we are...
- What's this?
It lights up, but it's not dangerous...
It's a TV set.
If you imagine you're funny,
you are wrong!
This is not a madhouse, is it?
I want to know everything,
right away! Who sent us this gismo?
| just deliver it, I don't know. Ask the
seller. A technician will come to set it up
- Magda!
- Close the door, please.
Magda, come here!
- D'you know what I look like?
- What?
With all these presents coming for you?
How are people going to call me?
To hell with you!
Cuckold!
- Good morning, inspector!
- Good morning.
- Nice weather, isn't it?
- Yes.
- | open up and you're the first client!
- Yeah...
Come on, open the office.
- Can I make a phone call?
- Please, do. Feel at home.
- Sit down.
- You are too kind.
- Sit down, please, sit down.
- Thank you.
- You know?
- What?
- I'll be paying for the calls.
- No way.
- Then I prefer not to make the call...
- I can't accept that.
- Please, accept this.
- Not on my life.
- Come on.
- I won't accept.
- Please, I insist. Give it to the poor.
- Yes, to the poor...
I am the poor!
If you'd know how miserable...
There's no reason for you
to be whining...
I can assure you it won't help you.
It doesn't help at all.
Inspector,
you know my opinion about you...
I know it, but don't say it, or I'll have
to arrest you for outrage.
What are you saying,
inspector?!
- Admiration, that's what I feel!
- Thank you.
- You are honest, conscientious...
- Really?!
And I must confess I also am
honest and conscientious.
And then, inspector, I also am discreet.
A regular tomb.
Speak openly...
What do you mean with this?
- Nothing special...
- Forget it, I'm not good at this stuff.
I'm not good at riddles,
let's drop it.
Inspector...
Did you like TV yesterday evening?
Well... Yes, yes.
- To be honest, I was disappointed.
- Yes? One shouldn't be too demanding...
- That's true.
- As the saying goes:
happy who likes what he receives.
- Very true.
In a certain way,
you are happy, right?
Yes, yes...
- And did your wife like it?
- She barely watched.
- Yes?
- The TV tires hers eyes.
- Oh!
- She finds other things more useful.
She keeps pressing me to buy her...
Guess what.
- What?
- Try, try.
- Say it.
- A fridge.
A whim.
Gentleman?...
What?! You again?!
Yes...
But now it's a fridge.
But I haven't ordered this!
- What does this mean?
- It's good stuff.
- Easy!
- Why are you shouting? Take it.
What are you risking?
Take it anyway.
Good afternoon, madam.
Can I really have a 75% discount
with this card?
Yes... I mean it's ours,
but we only make a 10% discount.
On this one the amount was
modified by hand.
- It's a joke.
- No, no, it's very serious.
What nonsense are you talking?
Go away, quickly, quickly!
Forgive her, please.
- You are, indeed, Mrs. Topponi?
- Yes.
Then this flyer is indeed very valid!
We indeed offer a small 75% discount
to our best clients. That's it!
All our products are at your disposal.
Choose anything you want!
How sweet of you!
I've never seen a merchant so easy going.
One has to help one's neighbour!
My store belongs to you!
- Show me some... sweaters.
- Very well.
- And then some scarves.
- Very well.
And some raspberry suits.
We have the best woolen cloth in Rome!
Bring me the sweaters!
Do you know how much
these items cost?
We sell them with 18,500 lira,
and, with the discount,
d'you know what they'll cost?
- No.
- You don't? Me neither.
Let's make the calculation
and we'll know.
7 times 45 is...
take 9, carry 9...
4,625 lira. Per item, of course.
- It's unheard of!
- We have great men sweaters too.
- Take one for your husband.
- My husband doesn't deserve it.
- If you knew how he pesters me...
- He annoys you? Me too.
- What did you say?
- I'm just saying...
Mr. Pezzella,
could you come a second?
Oh, yes, yes...
I'll be right there.
Please, excuse me a moment.
Help yourself! Choose anything you want!
Everything is yours!
I'm all yours,
my dear inspector!
Look at this kind of hieroglyphics.
Is that your signature?
Yes. Forget this.
Let's take a look.
Oh... Hi, Fabio.
- Fabio...
- Aha...
- What are you doing here?
- Well...
Madam has just entered to buy a present
for her beloved husband.
- Really?...
- Oh, sorry.
- | find this quite strange.
- Why?! Nothing more natural.
- This is funny.
- My husband wanted to call you.
- He did?
- Tell your husband...
- One second, one second, one second.
- Her husband?
- It doesn't concern you.
What do you mean it doesn't concern me?!
You are not this lady's...
.. husband?!
Then, who is her husband?
- You're curious?
- Her husband...
- This lady is my brother's wife.
- Oh...
- Why are you curious?
- I said 'Oh'...
Just said 'Oh'.
Listen... Explain me how come you came
precisely here for shopping.
Look... I got this flyer in the
mail yesterday evening.
I know these hieroglyphics.
It's your writing.
- Here?
- No, no, there.
This one looks like that one.
- Exactly.
- There's no doubt: it's my writing.
- Give it to me.
- Here. Are you collecting them?
- Listen, Mr. Pezzella...
- Yes.
- You're pushing it.
- Yes.
You've thought this lady
was my wife.
- And you sent her this discount offer.
- No, no, no!
- Isn't it so?
- No, no, no!
I didn't think she was your wife,
| make this offer to all our women clients;
I want to give them pleasure.
- You are crossing the boundaries.
- Why?
As long as it's all about a small favor,
a trifle, it is alright,
but now we're talking an
attempted bribery.
And that is a felony, punishable with
prison, from three months to two years.
You are too hard...
- Yes.
- Let's not exaggerate!
- You think so?
- And how!
- Really?
- Yes.
That's all that was missing...
But I don't understand why!
I don't give this discount only to your
wife, or to your relatives.
- I give it to all my clients.
- Yeah? 75% discount every day?
Not every day. Only on Fridays.
- By the way, what day is today?
- Friday.
- Then, today the rule works.
- Really?
I'm sorry,
but could you come for a moment?
Alright, alright, I'm coming.
By-your- leave. . .
- What's the matter?
- Madam would want this with 35,000.
- This coat? At price is it at?
- 40,000.
I'm sorry, madam, it's impossible.
Be nice, make me this discount!
Remember: last week you gave me
a 15% discount.
Yes, last week...
It wasn't a Friday...
Come on,
do make a small discount!
- No, he can't today.
- You see? It's the truth...
Today, there is a 75% discount.
- But...
- You said it.
Every Friday, you offer every client
a 75% discount.
Ah, nuance!
I said 'all my clients'.
But, if I am not wrong,
this lady is not my client.
- What?!
- Of 100,000 Bodices maybe, not mine.
- I am one of your regulars!
- Listen, I'll tell you something.
- Yes.
- I don't like being taken for a fool.
- Understood?
- I already pay enough.
- And, please, don't pull that face.
- Sorry, it's the only one I have...
Too bad!
You could think more...
- You're capable of taxing me for this too
- Let's forget about taxes for now!
- Forget about them for ever...
- As for your flyer,
sent to... Mrs. Topponi...
.. with a 75% discount,
I'm keeping it.
- Keep it.
- We'll talk about it again.
As you wish.
Inspector's will be done!
Today,
we are giving everyone a 75% discount.
To madam too! Madam too.
Inspector!
That means it's 10,000 lira.
- They really give everyone a 75% discount?
- To all clients.
- But only on Fridays.
- Thank you very much.
- Don't mention it.
- Goodbye.
- 14 and 6 is 20.
- Mr. Pezzella?...
- I guess he must be in his office.
- Oh...
With 75% discount it's 10,000 lira.
Are you sure there's this
discount every Friday?
- It seems so.
- What's happening? Stock liquidation?
No. There's a 75% discount today.
- Yes, yes!
- For everyone?
- Yes, for everyone?
- Wow!... And the overcoats?
- On the hangers.
- Thank you.
It's worth it, sweetie.
Four sweaters for the price of one.
There's also a 75% discount at the
shirts section. Let's go!
Please, with the discount,
how much is it?
- 5,000.
- It's a giveaway!
- I'll take it right away.
- Hey!
What's with 75%?!
- But it's you who've said it!...
- I?! I said this?!
Oh! Well, maybe...
But I wasn't being serious!
The imbecile didn't understand.
If I said it,
it was for that inspector!
Yes, but the rumor got around,
and clients are rushing in!
This looting must stop right away! It's
su1c1de! I'll be ruined!
He too?! No away!
- Wrap them up.
- Yes, sir.
What does this mean?!
The gentleman bought all of these.
- What do you mean?!
- I'm taking advantage of the discount.
But that's a swindle!
Put all of these back!
Strange way to treat a customer!
- You are a customer now, are you?!
- Yes!
What do you mean yes?!
You jerk, you gave a wrong address!
Instead of Topponi's address, you moron,
you gave me the others' address!
- The idiot! Is that true?
- Yes, it is.
- Aren't you satisfied?
- Satisfied?!
I'm delighted!
Having you here is a reassurance,
and I want to pay tribute
to your talent,
to your exceptional genius. Follow me!
There's something I must tell you.
I told you already: they live here, but
there's only a Mrs., not a Miss. Topponi.
- Mrs. Topponi?
- Yes.
- But she must have a daughter!...
- I've been explaining this for 15 minutes.
Now excuse me. I'm busy,
I still have mail to deliver.
- Excuse me, sir. Do you live here?
- Yes.
Well... you might know a beautiful,
young, blonde person, called Topponi?
- To... Topponi?
- Yes.
- Yes.
- What floor does she live on?
- On the second one.
- Thank you.
One second! I know her better than you'd
imagine: I'm her husband!
- Her husband?
- Yes.
- I don't understand!...
- If you send the fridge and the TV...
.. then I'll send you my fist
in your face!
And don't let me catch you
hanging around here anymore!
- See you soon, my child.
- Goodbye, sisters.
Goodbye.
Please, sisters.
You've come to the wrong place.
The tobacconist is next door.
- Be nice, don't you see the risks I take?
- Have you crashed with your bike?
No, I hit a snag.
It's the work of one of your relatives,
the one in Piazza Navona.
- Oh, so uncle Enest told you I worked here
- Yes.
He told me but... after.
Please, buy something, or, if my boss
comes, he won't be happy.
- But I'm a client...
- Then tell me what you want.
Well...
How much is this?
50,000 lira.
Well, then...
I'll have a candle.
This way.
- Do you like these ones?
- Yes. How much is it?
250 lira.
Now you can pay and get out.
Explain me how it works...
- Have you never lighted one?
- No.
No.
We have electric power at home.
It's not difficult.
We take a pair of scissors,
we cut the wick,
we take a matchstick
we rub it,
we bring it close to the wick,
and presto...
I won't leave until you set me...
a date.
All I can say is that the shop
closes at half past seven...
Now, leave.
The boss will be coming.
Wait,
I owe you 250 lira.
- Thank you very much. Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
- Here's where our man lives.
- I hope it, for your sake.
Let's not deal with it like we did
with the TV and the fridge.
But you see now,
the caretaker hadn't lied.
Every Sunday, at 4 am,
he goes hunting.
My information is good.
What one has to do for taxes' sake:
dress like a moron,
To be honest:
I hate hunting!
But, but...
You should bless hunting!
Two g*n sh*ts
can warm up the atmosphere.
Oh!...
Talking about g*n sh*ts:
when you'll be with him, in the woods,
hunfing.
.. talk to him about taxes...
There he is!
Here's the game, the real one...
Good luck!
- Hey, are you leaving me alone?
- Yes.
- Should I go?
- Go.
Wait. He'll never believe
I'm a hunter.
- I don't even know how to hold a g*n...
- Oh! I've got an idea!
Here you begin again!
I have an idea:
I'll go...
.. in the village and I'll buy some game.
I'll be back in half an hour.
That's a great idea!
- You've forgotten your wallet...
- Yes!
I guessed so...
Let's see...
- 10 will do?
- Even 20.
I had guessed that too...
I'm off!
We'll meet in half an hour.
Here?
0h! Look who's here!
The inspector!
Such a nice surprise meeting you!
- What're you doing here?
- What do yo mean?! It should be obvious.
I'm a hunter, it's Sunday,
| go hunting...
- A hunter?! You?!
- Of course, why not?
Can't you see how I am dressed?
Velvet jacket, fustian trousers,
hunting dog,
hunting-bag and everything.
- That's called a cartridge belt.
Of course, a cartridge belt!
I'm so absent-minded.
Silence... silence... silence...
Oh... of course,
we have to be silent...
We have to keep silent, Medor,
the inspector said so.
- What are you doing?
- Eh?
- | asked what you were doing?
- I'm aiming.
Aiming at what?
- I'm aiming at what I'm aiming.
- You're aiming at what I'm aiming.
Ah, so you have an exclusivity
on aiming.
- So we're aiming at the same thing?
- Right. And we'll share anything we get.
- And your dog, does it like hunting?
- Don't know, never asked.
- Everyone likes hunting.
- You're murdering me...
Aren't you pulling back your cock?
How absent-minded I am!...
You're making me feel ashamed.
- Take this.
- What's the matter?
Come...
Is that alright?
- Look.
- Take it.
You are disarming me...
So we aren't hunting any longer...
What're you doing?
Where are you going?
- Careful! Put that shotgun down!
- Order arms!
I'm sorry, inspector!
I'm mortified, inspector!
I'll call a surgeon!
Lean on me, I am strong.
I really didn't mean it.
Some army impetus overcame me.
I didn't imagine that...
- Goodbye.
- See you soon, inspector.
- See you soon... maybe.
- Yes, yes.
And good luck, inspector.
What is my sin? I'd have rather drowned
than meet you!
- My day is ruined now!
- Why?
Because a real hunter never says
'Good luck', moron!
Oh... But why not?
It's nice.
Excuse me, I wasn't aware.
Sir!... Your hunting permit.
- But I am not hunting!
- Oh, you aren't!
I don't have a shotgun.
And those rabbits,
you chased them?
No, I bought them.
You've come here, in the woods,
to eat them,
or you intend to stuff them?
Stop laughing!
How did you get these rabbits?
With snares?
- Not at all!
- I wasn't born yesterday. Come with me!
- Where?
- To the police station.
- To explain where the rabbits come from.
- But why?
Because I'm a gamekeeper and poachers
| arrest them. Come with me!
- I refuse!
- Really?
You resist? Very well.
It's very simple. Let's conclude.
- Do you have a rabbit in each hand?
- Yes.
- And your hunting without a permit?
- Yes.
- And you resist?
- Yes.
- Then come to the police station.
- Yes.
- Let's go then.
- Let's go.
- Do you have a car?
- Yes.
Let's take it. It'll do.
Come on, we're leaving.
Be a good boy.
- It was you I presume?
- Of course, and no false modesty,
I got it with one sh*t.
You've got to come to terms with it.
- You'll pay a round.
- D'you know what you've k*lled?
I don't know this race. I saw it fly over
this pole and I k*lled it.
You, miserable, do you realize
what you did to me?
- To you?
- Yes.
- I do.
- You do? What?
- I hurt your pride.
- Go away or I'll sh**t you!
- But you are...
- Go away, go away!
- Go away, go away!
- Alright, I'll go!
- I know.
- | feel I'll do something stupid!
It's just hunter's envy.
Do your parents know
where you are now?
I think mother suspects, but I hope father
won't find out.
- Tino has seduced the inspector's daughter
- Yes, but he hasn't won the wager yet.
We'll see how it ends.
Come on, let's dance.
- I've had enough, Laura, haven't you?
- Of dancing?
No, of staying here.
It's kind of dull... and cold.
If there were any candles,
it'd be like your shop.
No, | feel very well here,
with you.
Wouldn't you like to go somewhere else,
somewhere more fun?
Where?
In half an hour we can be in Rome, watch
a movie. What do you say?
Come on, say yes.
And them, what will they do?
We leave them here?
Forget them. What do you care?
They have fun.
Oh, excuse me, go take our coats.
- Give me the key.
- Done deal?
Of course.
Didn't I say on Sunday?
It's Sunday, so I won the bet.
I don't see nothing hot in her.
Maybe you don't,
but I like her a lot.
You're sure no one is
going to disturb us?
The coast is clear until 20:45.
Then scram because my aunt
could come.
I don't want to be thrown out.
Coming, Laura?
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye, kids.
Goodbye, Tino.
- I must get out of here! I will!
- Of course, of course...
Why do you stoop?
It happens every time.
- Oh no!
- Please.
- Oh no...
- Come on.
- But I'm expected!
- Of course, of course.
- I'm expected, I'm expected!
- Sure, sure.
This cell will be very pretty, once tidied
up, in a fortnight.
What do you mean in a fortnight?!
You'll be here a while.
For two small rabbits?!
The rabbits are nothing at all!
Roughing a gamekeeper it'll
get you around six months.
- It's not true!
- Oh it is.
- It's not true!
- Yes it is, yes it is.
Come here.
Bend over... Bend over.
- Well?
- Well what?
Isn't the view lovely?
Facing south, lots of sun.
When there is any...
- Do you have a place for Rome?
- No.
Why?...
How did you get here?
- With a friend.
- Then leave with him.
- I can't.
- Why?
- He's been arrested.
- What for?
They've taken him for a poacher,
poor soul.
But not you...
- Me? Why?
- Because you wanted to trick me you hunt!
An advice:
walk home, hunter!
I, a hunter? You're kidding me, inspector,
I'm no hunter.
Let's be honest. It's true | dressed up
like a clown, but...
- Like a clown... talk for yourselves.
- Yes,
it suits you,
but look at me.
I did it to please you,
to be your friend.
And, by becoming your friend,
I hoped everything will sort out.
- What I did is only human!
- Human, very human, human!
- What you are doing isn't human!
- Not human?
You prevent me from sh**ting,
you crush my foot,
you sh**t my woodpigeon,
and it's me who isn't human?!
Take me with me! What'll happen to me
all alone? I'm afraid in this wood.
My feet are k*lling me,
I can't walk anymore.
And there must be ferocious wolves
and bandits around here.
- Come on, get in.
- So kind of you.
Hold him until I get in.
Sorry, inspector.
What a day!...
Hold my shotgun.
It's not loaded.
Alright...
- Get your foot inside.
- But it hurts...
- You can go.
- Not like this, I can't!
Then what'll we do?
Take this!
- And the dog? Where do we put it?
- On my knees.
Now, we can go.
You know how to drive,
don't you?
- Inspector...
- What?
- It's a wonderful Sunday we had.
- Speak for yourself!
For me it's a wonderful Sunday
you've ruined!
D'you think so?
You've broken a wonderful
woodpigeon, that flew so lightly...
"EMERGENCY"
Don't make any noise,
or he'll wake up.
He's chickening out...
- Who's there?
- A friend.
It'll rain if you go on singing.
Who's singing, inspector!...
These are laments, pain laments.
My arm is broken in five or six pieces.
- It doesn't stay in the sling. So painful!
- I'm sorry.
Why are you sulking?
You dare ask me that... For you, the
cinema is a friend's house.
What are you imagining? I wanted to go
there and listen to some records with you.
- Just the two of us, right?
- Do you really want to know?
Oh, you don't understand...
- What is it that I don't understand?
- I'll tell you everything now.
II have very serious intentions.
Do you believe me?
- But did you need doing that?
- Yes, it was indispensable.
After all,
I didn't know you too well...
Had you said 'yes', everything'd have been
over, but I'm very happy you said 'no'.
Say you forgive me...
Say!
- You're such a liar.
- I swear, Laura, it's true.
- Just a mouthful...
- No, I don't like it.
- It does you good.
- No, I don't like it.
- It'll be good for you.
- Leave me alone.
I still can't understand how
you managed to do this.
- It's my fault.
- Why, is it you who was driving?!
No... But I shouldn't have got
into his bike.
- There's no way you could've foreseen it.
- I knew it; I knew it too well.
After all the curses I threw on him, I
was sure something bad will happen to him.
The caretaker told me my father had had an
accident and had been brought here.
Rest assured, Miss,
there's nothing seriously wrong with him.
Room nr. 5.
This way, please.
- Shall I come with you?
- No, he mustn't see you.
- But someday I'll have to confront him.
- Yes, but not now.
As you wish.
This way, Miss.
The third bed.
- What happened to you, daddy!
- Only a few scratches, my child.
If that was all that made me suffer,
everything would be alright.
- Where had you disappeared?
- Miss!
Do you recognize me?
I'm Mr. Pezzella.
- Your father was worrying a lot.
- You too?!
Are you seriously wounded?
Nothing serious.
Not so much as your daddy.
- Where has she gone?
- Tino!
- Get in, Tino, your father is here too.
- My father?!
- He's injured.
- Dad!
What happened to you?
How are you feeling?
- And me who wasn't aware...
- When they called me you were away.
How did you find out?
I was hanging out with my friends, time
flew... You know how it is...
Exactly.
That's why I am asking: how did you find
out your father had had an accident?
And that he had been taken here?
- I found it out in the corridor.
- Lauretta!
Come here.
Tell me...
This young did not know his father
was here?
- I don't know.
- Of course...
But you knew he was in the corridor...
- And it's you who told him about it.
- Fabio.
- Now it's not the moment, trust me.
- On the contrary.
Now | get it.
I understand everything.
He is the "friend" he was going out every
evening, wasn't he?
- Imbecile!
- But, dad...
Shut up!
You've lost your mind!
There are plenty girls around, you didn't
have to bother...
.. the lovely daughter of the inspector who
notwithstanding everything is my friend...
Come on, Mr. Pezzella, stop pretending!
You were aware of everything!
- Fabio, please!
- And you, shut up!
This accusation is unjust!
I wasn't aware of anything.
Had I known,
I wouldn't have allowed my son to...
.. go out of an inspector's daughter!
That's it, insult me!
As for you, we'll talk later.
Good God, she did nothing wrong
after all!
While I am inspecting a merchant's books,
my daughter flirts with his son!
It's not your daughter you're worried
about, but having your integrity doubted.
Even my wife is against me.
From the day I entered that damned shop
problems have never left me.
- They haven't left me!
- Me! Make a little room.
- No! Me!
- Me!
- Calm down!
- Me!
Enough! Enough!
It's me again!
A small alarm clock.
A small newspaper.
Some small cigarettes.
What does one say?
Ahl... Must tell you. For some faucets...
You must pull, while turning.
For this one,
you must push while turning.
But easily...
Touchy is a faucet.
- I haven't quite got it.
- With dexterity. Here we are.
- We are also locked in.
- My keys!
- Bring them out, your keys!
- They are in the door... on the other side
- So?
- We are prisoners!
- So?
- We must call for help.
- Call, then!
- Let's call.
Anyone there?
What's the matter
I'm sorry, sir, the draught, the door,
the faucet.
Get out,
I have to speak to the gentleman.
I'm sorry for intruding upon you.
I'm the warden.
- Put those down.
- Thank you.
I'm sorry for the cell,
but we don't have anything better.
- To what do I owe the pleasure?
- Reading your entry form...
.. I noticed I have the good luck of
accommodating a...
.. tax consultant, isn't it?
- That's true, that is what I do.
So... I took the liberty to...
.. ask you a little advice...
- With pleasure.
But wouldn't you think we'd be more
comfortable discussing this somewhere else?
No, no, no! Visits, phone calls...
Take a seat, please.
- This is...
- My tax form.
- Your file...
- Yes.
Imagine the IRS demands 200,000 lira
more in taxes.
From you?!
- Yes.
- With your job?!
- They won't stop at nothing...
- For false deductions.
Of course: in a prison little goes out,
and much goes in.
- Oh! Two errors.
- Where?
Immediately. One here and one there.
I'll start with this one.
- |...5! | read 5".
- Alright.
- 7 plus 7?
- 14.
- Careful. 7 times 3?
- 21.
Yeah, right...
Wait. Expenses: foie gras.
It's professional foie gras.
I have to.
You're on the verge of getting into
deep trouble with the IRS.
This is the kind of stuff that
can get you into prison!
- In prison!
- For such a stupidity!
- Quickly! 7 times 3?
- 21.
You're persistent...
- You're getting excited too much.
- Go back to your bed, you!
- Let her do my sh*t.
- Yes. Careful with that foot!
If all patients were like you...
- Don't hurt him.
- Go away; it's not your behind.
- Inspector, I admire your courage.
- Have mercy!
- Look, you must sting him at my finger.
- Sure, sure.
- Stop touching me?
- Am I hurting you?
- Unbelievable! You have the nerve to...
- To what?
- To touch me!
- But I did it without malice
I was feeling your nodes.
- Leave me alone! I never had any nodes.
- But I swear I felt one!
- Are you doing that sh*t or not?
- Alright.
- He has two nodes.
- It's not your business.
One to the right and one to the left.
Aim straight in the middle.
- Enough.
- Don't break the needle!
- Go sleep!
- Good luck.
Is it disinfected?
Of course.
I sterilized it myself.
- Have you taken the air out?
- Of course.
- Turn.
- Alright. Be quick.
- Don't contract yourself.
- Careful with the nodes!
What nodes?!
I've never had any!
Although... one can never know.
- Not the foot that hurts!
- Relax.
I am ready.
Just one second. Wait... madam!
- Straight into the node?
- No.
A pity!
I am sure of this.
My calculations are correct.
You are on the safe side now!
Then I won't have to pay any fine, right?
A fine?!
It's the state who'll give you money!
- Really?!
- At least 500,000 lira.
- Impossible! - It's been 10 years they've
been taxing you too much!
- What a pity you weren't arrested earlier!
- Warden!
- Yes?
- A pity I won't be free tonight.
Why's that?
I was invited to have dinner with
my good friend, Mr. Topponi.
- Topponi?
- Mr. Topponi.
Mr. Topponi!... The big sh*t
at the Finance Ministry!...
- Topponi!
- He can't say no to me, so, for you...
But I can't say no to you either!
You'll get to your dinner!
Thank you, warden!
I want to ask you...
- Yes?
- The fee... My fee!
- Yes?
- For starters... let's say... 10,000 lira
- 10,000 lira, but...
- For starters.
There they are. Done.
Guard! Open up!
Tell me the truth.
- You really weren't aware about the kids?
- Oh no! Nothing at all. Why?
Because I must warn you this story
is not at all to my liking.
- It displeases me a lot.
- I give you my word I didn't know a thing.
- You saw my reaction...
- Yeah...
- Had not my arm been broken...
- I know, I know...
After all, the kid has a nice face.
What does he do?
He's studying. Architecture.
- He doesn't want to pass his exams.
- What's the use of studying?
That's why he doesn't.
- This damn foot...
- You are in pain?
- Don't touch it!
- It hurts that much?
It's a real t*rture.
- Maybe it's the gangrene...
- Come on...
.. let's not exaggerate.
- I said "maybe".
- Let it alone, please.
- One can't fool around with these things.
- If only I could raise it...
- Listen, it's burning!
It's the inflammation.
If I could raise it, it'd hurt less.
- You need a pillow.
- Call the nurse.
- We shouldn't bother her at this hour.
- It's her job!
- I'll take care of you.
- Don't want to trouble you.
- It's the least I can do.
- Don't tire yourself.
We'll put my pillow and, if that's not
enough, we'll also put my mattress.
I'm happy if I can help you.
- I'm sorry for my arm. Raise it.
- Call the nurse!
- It's the only way I could do it.
- Raise it.
Here we are!
- Is it better like this?
- Thanks, I already feel better.
The higher it is,
the less pain | feel.
- I'd need another pillow, but...
- Another pillow?!...
Where find it?... Ah!
- Our neighbor’s!
- No, we shouldn't disturb him!
- He must have already kicked the bucket.
- Then his pillow is cold...
Wait a second,
I've just had an excellent idea!
- Help me.
- Be careful, please.
I think it'll be better at this height,
right?
- It is, but you can't remain like this...
- Don't you worry about it.
- My arm is broken anyway.
- That's sheer madness!
- It'll be very practical.
- You think so?
Trust me... Here it is.
A little higher?
- Higher?
- But. . .
It's alright, but you're standing.
- I'm very comfortable.
- Sit down.
I'm such an idiot!
I should have measured the height needed!
- What are you doing?
- Taking aim.
- D'you imagine yourself hunting?
- Is this height good?
- Yes.
- Is it the perfect height?
Well... It isn't bad,
but you'll tire yourself!
- And like this? Higher?
- You'll tire yourself. Yes.
- I'm better.
- No, tell me if you feel alright.
- Yes.
- What if you try a little higher?
- You're mad!
- I'll stay like this.
- If you want.
- No!
Tomorrow your problems are over:
no inspection, no inspector.
- It's our last day.
- Believe it or not inspector,
I'm sure tomorrow I'll be feel
a big void.
- Come on...
- Allow me.
- Thank you very much.
- Here we are.
- Tomorrow will be a sad day...
- I can come back, if you insist.
- What?!
- As a friend, of course.
Ah!... With pleasure.
And as for your assistant, will we have
the pleasure of not seeing him again?
I meant "of seeing him again"
My assistant has been called to the
hospital: his wife is having a baby.
So you'll have to excuse him.
He'll be late.
- Where do we put the coat?
- There's a coat hook there.
That way?
Oh, yes, yes...
- I'll hang it, inspector.
- Thank you.
- I'll also hang your hat.
- Oh, this arm...
It's alright! He found a pretext to delay
the arrival of his assistant!
Everything will happen
without witnesses!
- Done.
- I'm through.
- Here's the report in five copies.
- Yes.
- Now you have to sign it.
- Yes.
But, before that, I advise you to
have your tax consultant read it.
What's the need reading it?!
I trust you!
- Everything's alright, but read it.
- There's no need to.
What you do is done well.
Why won't offend the inspector!
- There's no offense.
- | sign it my eyes closed!
- Give me something to write.
- You are wrong. It's something serious.
- Of course.
- Read it, then!
What for?! Give my pen. Where is it?
Ah, there it was!
and after all, we are among...
Bardi, isn't it?
Yes, Bardi is at the hospital.
His wife is giving birth.
At the hospital!...
And his wife is...
- That's a really good one!
- What's the matter?
- Why are you laughing?
- Alright, alright, I understand everything
- Things will sort out...
- What?
- What do you mean with this gesture?
- I don't want to see what I am signing!
Cover my eyes! Done.
I've signed. Everything's alright.
You haven't signed anything: you haven't
taken the cap off!
I'm sorry! Allow me.
I'm so absent-minded.
- Hello, gentlemen.
- Hello, Bardi.
Please excuse me for
being late.
- But the hospital is far away.
- Yes, I know.
- What's the news? - I'm afraid it'll be
hard, but will end soon.
- I've given the hospital the phone numbers
- You did very well.
- From home, from the office, and yours too
- You did well.
- Thank you.
- Bardi... here are the invoices,
balance sheet and the overhead.
- Well, are you signing?
- I prefer mine.
Inspector... in front of him?
Of course, we've written the report
together, there's no secret.
Oh... the let's go ahead!
Just a small information...
It's nothing much, but...
How much will I have to pay?
A priori it's hard to say
because I don't know...
- Grosso modo...
- The usual percentage.
What do you need to know?
- The minimum or...
- The maximum minimum.
- The minimum of the maximum is...
- Exactly!
.. it'll be up to...
let's say about fifteen.
- 15,000?
- No, no.
- No.
- 150,000?
- It's a little high, but...
- It's fair.
- It's fair.
- No.
I told you it is around fifteen.
- Yes, but fifteen what?
- Fifteen...
.. million.
- That's it.
- Millions! That's madness!
I'm not an American!
No! No!
Listen, Mr. Pezzella...
If you continue to shout this way
in front of me...
.. your situation will become
very serious. Do you understand?
You must excuse him, inspector,
but with these kind of numbers...
When he talks to me, I expect him to be
polite and not too raise his voice!
- But are we friends or not?
- We are friends, yes. So what?
It's a thing that has nothing to do
with friendship!
I also am the postman's friend
but I still have to stamp a letter,
like everyone else has to!
- You know...
- Shut up you!
What's friendship to you?
An empty word, signifying nothing!
- Give me patience!
- We are almost relatives,
we've suffered together,
we've had an accident,
we've seen death,
I've had my arm broken, paralyzed!
Fabio! And it hurts.
Enough, Mr. Pezzella.
For the last time:
are you signing this,
yes or no?
- No!
- Alright.
- Very well. You are not signing?
- No.
That's perfect.
- It really is a no?
- No!
- Alright.
- Even if I wanted, I couldn't!
My right arm is paralyzed.
- You could sign with the other hand.
- I am not left-handed.
- You aren't?
- Not only I won't sign,
but I'll appeal it!
And if I have to, I'll summon my courage
to fight the dire situation you alluded to!
Stay calm! It's useless! If everything was
alright, we wouldn't be in this situation.
Yes, and I wouldn't have needed your
advices, you ignorant!
We'll settle our accounts right away!
I want to tell
this gentleman who he is.
- Who is who?
- You.
- What am I?
- I'll tell you.
- Say it right away!
- I can say it!
- You must say it!
- Are you asking me to say it?
I am not asking you!
If you want to say it, say it!
I will say it declining
all responsibility!
No!
Say it assuming all responsibility!
- No!
- Assume it!
I know what I have to do, sir!
And I'll say it!
- Say it!
- Don't shout!
- Say it!
- You are...
- Let me tell him he is a...
- Enough!
Hold me or I'll do something bad!
Don't you realize?!
Insulting a magistrate on duty!
- You could go to prison!
- I want to go to prison!
I won't give this cutthroat 15 million!
I'd rather go to prison
than pay this kind of money!
That's a pity because I had an idea that
might have saved you.
Enough! That's enough!
No more genius ideas!
What is that idea of yours?
- You must pay.
- Anyone could have this idea!
No!
I won't pay 15 million!
It's not about 15 million!
- How much?
- 100,000.
- He won't accept! He's a beast!
- Not him!
- To whom then?
- To me.
You're pushing it!
You're ripping me more than taxes!
- If we can bring him to the pub we win.
- Explain.
Oh yes!
- Don't take it to heart, inspector.
- Well...
Hello... Yes.
What should I do?
I don't know...
Connect it to the shop.
- Let them deal with it!
- Who wants him?
- Hello. The hospital speaking.
- Hello. The hospital?
- It's the hospital.
- I want to speak to Mr. Bardi, please.
I am Mr. Bardi.
So fortunate I was here!
- What's new?
- Cold you please come immediately?
Is he born?
Not yet, but it'll happen soon.
It'd be better if you came right away.
I'll be right there but please tell me:
has anything bad happened?
No, rest assured, but we think
you should come right away.
- One second.
- Is he born?
- No, but I have to leave right away.
- Well, go then.
I'll be right there.
And the file?
I'll leave it at the office, don't worry.
Good luck, kid.
May I?
You don't need permission,
it's your office.
- Unfortunately.
- Why unfortunately?
Had it not been your office,
I'd have...
- Let's forget it.
- May I?
- There's no need.
- I admit I've exaggerated.
- No need to excuse yourself.
- These 15 million...
- I understand, you still won't sign.
- No, I won't sign.
- I wanted to propose you...
- No, do not propose anything.
Where are you going now?
- I'll have a tea, my liver badly needs it!
- In a bar?
Where else?
A hardware store.
- Alone?
- Of course.
- I'll go with you.
- You're too kind, but no.
- Do you know where the bar is?
- Yes, I do.
- Right in front.
- Yes.
And you leave like that?
- What do you mean?
- Without shaking my hand?
- If I did, |'d break your arm for good...
- No!
A camomile...
Wait. A tomato juice rather.
Well...
You are here...
Can I buy you anything?
- Thank you, I've already ordered.
- And for Mr. Pezzella?
You've already ordered...
What do you still want from me?
- Nothing. To offer you something to drink.
- I meant what you want from me.
- Oh nothing, nothing...
- So nothing?
One second.
I don't feel well...
- Have an arquebuse.
- No, it's not my stomach.
- It's my heart.
- Have a decaf, then.
No, no...
I don't feel well...
- Are you feeling sick, sir?
- Don't mind me!
I am talking to the inspector.
I don't feel well.
- What's the matter?
- Help! Help!
- Come on...
- I'm not feeling well... Help me...
Hold me, inspector!
I am dying!
- I am dying!
- Let him breathe!
It's nothing serious.
He'll be alright.
He's breathing normally.
- He needs a cognac.
- Yes, give him a cognac.
- He's recovering!
- Are you feeling better?
Much better, thank you.
- Have this.
- No, thank you.
- But, but...
- What's the matter?
- Where's my briefcase?
- I have no idea.
Where's my briefcase?
It's disappeared!
- Has anyone left with it?
- I haven't see anyone.
There's thieves everywhere,
you know...
You had a great idea!
Our man is like a bull without horns!
Exactly: without horns!
There's nothing the inspector can do to me!
Nothing! Nothing! He's become
a loser just like you!
And all of this for some
nickels and dimes!
No, no! You forget I gave you
100,000 lira, my dear consultant.
You don't realize it's for the first
time in my life that I've stolen!
I... a thief!
Tell me,
my dear friend,
what would happen if they found out it
was you who phoned Bardi?
- They'd need proof. Where's the proof?
- Here!
- In the briefcase. Where's the briefcase?
- Here!
- And who brought it here?
- The thief.
Stop shaking like this!
You aren't at the shop!
No one can enter
without a search warrant!
And it takes three days to get one!
I've thought everything over.
We must burn everything!
The fire burns everything!
Where's the fireplace?
Wait. It's a satisfaction I want to
offer myself.
I'll burn it myself.
A real bonfire!
With 15 million firecrackers inside!
A real bonfire!
- Can I come in?
- Yes.
- Hello, sir.
- Hello.
I'm going...
Don't forget about the bonfire...
- I'll call you.
- Do.
Your briefcase, sir!
It's obvious they won't make him
Finance Minister.
But you don't have
anything to be afraid of.
I'm clean.
He'll have all the problems.
As the saying goes:
"One man's misery is another man's joy."
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye; don't forget the...
Goodbye.
He has his moments this guy...
What do you want?
- What are you doing with this briefcase?
- I thought it was your consultant's.
No, it's mine!
I forbid you to touch it!
Don't you realize what you're doing?!
The inspector will get into trouble!
- We must call him!
- Are you mad?! I forbid you to do it!
D'you understand?
D'you know what's inside? 15 million!
They are yours too. You are not
interested in 15 million, are you?
- You know your dad is here to feed you...
- But, dad...
Shut up, Tino!
You want to give them back
to the inspector?
Want to take them to him? Better take them
straight to the Minister! Okay with you?
We'll tell him:
"Excuse us, Your Excellency,
I'm Mr. Pezzella and I'm bringing you
15 million.
Use them the way you want:
make sausages,
a road over the Atlantic,
or, like Jacob,
build a stairway to the Sun.
Or build a stadium,
or go to w*r against the Martians!"
Why are you shouting like this?
- I'm paying for the w*r with the Martians.
- Dad!
Let me tell you
that a good citizen has to pay his taxes!
Listen to him!
He's going to be a inspector!
- I'm going to k*ll him!
- Stay calm!
- I want to k*ll him!
- No! No!
- I gave him life, I'll take it away!
- | forbid you!
St. Augustine, I'm very unhappy.
They've all ganged up on me.
You've seen... You, the tax payers' patron,
show me the light!
One light!
What can that cost you?!...
Yes! A great idea!
Thank you.
As I've told you, reverend, if these
papers get to the IRS,
it'll be my friend's ruin,
the end!
- I understand.
- Fortunately...
my childhood friend, a decent man
I thoroughly admire,
was guided by his guardian angel...
You know they exist, don't you?
- Of course.
- Oh, you knew!
Well, the guardian angel makes that
inspector lose...
.. the briefcase containing all the proof
he had defrauded the IRS.
And just guess... They say
the Lord works in mysterious ways
Well, it's true, because guess who
found that briefcase?
- Who did?
- I'm sure you'll never guess.
- It's him, the one interested!
- I understand.
And now, the one interested doesn't want to
return the briefcase...
.. and thinks about burning
the documents.
- Quite s...
- You're friend is absolutely right.
Glory to the Lord! He took me to a man
who understands nuances!
One moment! I hadn't finished...
- It doesn't matter! What you told me...
- No, but I...
- I got it right away!
- I haven't finished...
I wanted to say...
Your friend is perfectly right...
.. to have remorse about what he did
and I congratulate him.
- But... who congratulates him?
- I do.
- And who are you?
- Your parish priest, am | not?
Are you speaking in your name, or in
St Augustine's?
- Calm down.
- We have to know that!
Because, if you are speaking in his name,
it's one thing,
- Keep calm.
- If in your name, that's something else!
- Keep calm... I am calm!
- Vox servi Dei in dubio audire oportet!
Ora pro nobis!
Sorry, I hadn't quite got it.
Vox servi Dei in dubio audire oportet!
No, no, you're wasting your time!
Never could learn a word of Latin!
- Anyway, what good would that be?!
- But...
Would you imagine me talking
Latin to my clients?!
That didn't stop me from
making a couple of millions...
.. that I have no intention whatsoever
of giving to the IRS!
Because, if you want to know,
I am that "friend"!
- I had understood that.
- But... that's a miracle!
- Well, yes...
- Ah... then...
As it's about me,
I'd like you to have in mind that I am
an assiduous parishioner,
that I come every Sunday to hear you
say Mass,
that I come to every ceremony,
that I fast on Fridays,
that I regularly leave money
in the poor box!
Are we alone?
- That I voted for...
- That's enough!
You should be ashamed
of what you did!
If you are such a good Christian,
go right away and return that briefcase,
with all the documents!
- Is this your final word, Father Ignazio?
- Yes it is.
Your final word... Tell me...
.. you won't change your mind?
- No.
Too bad...
Listen, Father lgnazio...
Listen carefully!
Tell St. Augustine that I am and always
have been an honest man,
who has worked hard
his entire life!
And that I won't return the briefcase
even if...
.. they cut my throat!
Is that clear?
I am keeping it!
Tell him that, in Latin, if you prefer,
that I won't return it and that's final!
- Inspector...
- What?
- It was found.
- Who found it?
- How was it found?
- I don't know.
- It was brought to my shop.
- It was?
You got lucky, because I was going
to report you to the police.
- You were?
- Yes.
Then we can say it's
a happy coincidence.
Say "thank you", then,
to that happy coincidence.
Believe me!
For my part I think we should
thank St. Augustine.
- What has he got to do with this?
- A lot of things.
- What things?
- I thought he was the tax payers' patron.
But, unfortunately, it seems even he has
switched to your side...
Well...
Let's thank both St. Augustine and the
happy coincidence for their solicitude.
For you and for me...
More for you...
- More for you!
- Inspector...
- Yes?
- What if we know went to have a drink?
You can't say no...
If you want...
I'd rather deliver these documents,
first.
Then we'll go have that drink.
Because bars are full with rascals.
I guess you get my meaning...
But, inspector...
Had I stolen it from you,
I wouldn't have returned it...
Well...
that makes sense...
Hello, Dad! Hello, inspector!
- Hello.
- Your son?! What's he doing here?
He came... he came to take your daughter
and see her to her shop.
- Listen... since when?
- A week.
What does this mean?!
You didn't know?... After taking Laura
to her work,
he goes to the University
where he studies!
It's strange
what they can bring you the..
.. the inspectors' daughters,
right?
What am | to say in all of this?
Asa...
.. father or as an inspector?
- A father. What am | to say?
Fabio! Fabio! What cold you say?
What could you say!
Is it for the first time when children are
in love, with parents at loggerheads?
That's been going on since
Romeo and Juliet!
- When the Montaigu and the Capuchon...
- No.
- The Capulets.
- The Capulets and the other ones...
- The Montaigus.
- Anyway, they were from Verona.
- Shall we go?
- Do you want them to k*ll themselves?
I'll be right down!
- Have you heard? She's coming down.
- I heard.
Well?
- I am thinking about it.
- As a father or as an inspector?
- As a father. I am a father first.
- What do you say as an inspector?
What do you want me to say to you?
What do you want from me?
- You really don't have the money?
- Whom could I take it from?
- Well... there might be a way...
- Speak, speak, don't leave me languishing!
There's a way, but I couldn't use it,
as I had not the money.
- Of course.
- You must know how to swim.
- Know to swim.
- Yes.
And also...
.. we'd need at least 500,000 lira,
cash.
- For you?
- For the head inspector?
- No!
- For the big boss?
- No!
- For someone even higher up?
- No, you don't get it.
I know an unbeatable martingale
for the roulette!
- 10, 20, 20.
- Great! I'll set up branches!
You'll use your part
to pay your fine.
I'll never get out of this!
- THE END -
Overtaxed, The (1959)
Moderator: Maskath3
Watch on Amazon Merchandise Collectables
The older Classic's that just won't die. Everything from before 1960's.
The older Classic's that just won't die. Everything from before 1960's.