04x30 - Never Say Dye

[bunniefuu]

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dancing she told him you're gonna write

a book about a movie star Mr Wilson are

ya that's right the deal isn't set yet

but uh oh boy which movie star you gonna

write about Laurel and Hardy Yogi Bear

I'd love to read about them no no Dennis

I'm going to do the life and loves of

Miss Norma Lamont

well uh here's a picture of her

she's been retired for several years now

but in her day she was quite a siren a

siren do you mean she went

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no no no Dennis I didn't mean that at

all I mean she always played the role of

of the temptress

the vampire

oh the vampire I I saw that on

television

it's like a bat and she did Forrest

caught off in the

necklace and then she zoomed out again

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hahaha

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and I'm going to write to miss Lamont

and tell her I want a thousand dollars

to do her Memoir good she'll probably

pay it without a whimper

I have read all your articles and can

tell you are a young and vigorous author

with a youthful point of view

and only a young man can understand and

truly write the story of Norma Lamont

I'm glad this collaboration is going to

be a long distance one with her in New

York and you here yes well she's going

to send me a copy of her files and

why are you glad because I couldn't

trust my young Charming husband with a

glamorous actress

look at that picture no you can't call

that face glamorous that's not so bad

John she must have been very beautiful

oh well if if I just put a beard on this

she can it'll be the spitting image of

General Grant yeah

what does that look like

that's General Graham

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it's a special delivery for you oh who's

it from from General Grant herself

yeah Mr Wilson I have a wonderful

surprise instead of mailing the material

for my book I'm going to bring it to you

bring it I'm flying out to the coast so

thought I'd stop over with you for a

couple of hours Saturday afternoon it's

today she's coming here to see me but

she can't I mean Louise what am I going

to do oh my God John Deere don't get so

upset everything will be all right yes

but she's expecting a much younger man

when she sees how old I am I won't get

to do it oh now John Deere you don't

look so old for your age

foreign

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got any news for me today the only news

I know is that I passed my arithmetic

test yesterday you both passed boy

that's big news at my house it sounds

like a page one story to me anything

else

well there's some news at Mr Wilson's

house Mrs Wilson just told us the movie

actress is coming to see him today yeah

her name's Norma Lamont or something

like that

she's pretty famous when she coming to

see Wilson for

he's going to write a book about it

thanks a lot boy that's a real scoop

I guess that makes us reporters huh it

certainly does

Mr reporters make oh well I usually pay

my men uh 10 cents a piece why

thank you

boy Dennis that was quick thinking we

gotta think quick in the newspaper

business County

and I'm here on this errand for friend

of mine sort of a favor you see yes what

may I do for you sir well he has this

gray hair around the temple here

excuse me

Andre's Beauty Salon

um your appointment is at uh yes 2 15.

thank you very much

are you a second I'm sorry oh yes about

the gray hair at the temple I well not

this gray hair gray hair like yes I

understand yeah well I told him that I'd

come down here buy some dye and learn

how to use it then he can touch up his

gray hair make it black again well now

this is an excellent preparation Mr uh

Wilson John Wilson nut oh that's for

that friend of mine of course not for me

yes I understand well I'll take some of

that and this really should be done by a

professional Mr Wilson a professional

yes Mr Andre could do a beautiful job on

your hair

but that isn't for me it's for this

friend of mine he's going to dye my hair

myself uh his hair myself

yeah keep the chance

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oh boy what's been doing in the beauty

shop Mr Wilson uh nothing Tommy nothing

nothing

Mr Wilson never mind Tommy I got it

because well that is I uh he probably

bought it for his wife Tommy what else

right Mr Wilson right Dennis oh bless

your little heart you never were so

right I you boys on your way home now

yes sir is there something we can do for

you there certainly is Mrs Wilson is

waiting for this would you get it to her

right away I'd just as soon not carry it

around downtown here

Bridge might lose it huh you're

absolutely right tell her I'll be home

in a couple of hours

well now I'm going to the men's shop and

get myself uh youthfulized

yeah useful

what does youthfulized mean Tommy I know

guess it means getting younger boy she's

starting off late

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oh

oh brother now what do we do well I

didn't mean to Tommy it just slipped

right out of the box Mr Wilson have a

family yeah I wonder how much it costs

it costs a lot mom uses it all the time

hey I know what what what Tommy what

well she just got a new bottle that she

hasn't even opened yet we'll put it in

this box here and give it to Mrs Wilson

she'll never know the difference boy

that'll save our life let's clean up

this mess and then we'll get it

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thank you

Eloise

meet the new John Wilson

well what do you think

well I think you'd better stay inside

off the streets before somebody sees you

I don't like it no frankly I don't

well dressing younger makes me feel

younger right now instead of a

middle-aged author I rather feel like a

an Angry Young Man you know if somebody

sold me a suit like that I'd be angry

too just wait till I finish my

youthfulizing process you'll see when I

get rid of the gray hair and oh by the

way did Dennis bring home a bottle of

dye for me yes dear it's in the kitchen

now really John isn't that being silly I

mean dyeing your hair Eloise business is

business if Miss Lamont wants a Young

author I'll be a Young author there's a

lot of money involved here but I wish I

could help you dear but I'm due at the

dentist's office right now I've got to

run no don't worry about me you go right

ahead when you get back I'll be so young

you may not even recognize me don't

worry dear I recognize you

miss you

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oh you are a handsome devil yeah

that's not just do the temples Johnny

Boy let's take all the gray out

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thank you

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what the

Halloween

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Eloise

she went to the dentist come in no don't

go

so I just came over to take it

peppers

what happened to your hair dye I got

from the beauty shop ruined it oh what a

mess you mean the guy I bought home for

Mrs Wilson it wasn't for Mrs Wilson it

was for me now please Dennis go home I'm

in trouble enough I'd love to go home Mr

Wilson the first or something I gotta

tell you

honestly Dennis I don't know how you'll

manage to do these things Jeepers I

didn't mean to do a dad like I told

Tommy it just slipped right out of the

box well it's all beside the point now

Henry Miss Lamont will be here at any

moment and look at me I'm a man

frankly John I don't know why you wanted

to darken your hair in the first place

you look very distinguished with it I

was trying to look younger Miss Lamont

expects a Young author somebody about

well about your age hey I've got an

extra idea Mr Wilson what do you want me

to do now paint my ears green well I

don't think that would help much but it

might help if Dad took your place today

took my place

sure the lady's never seen either one of

you and she's expecting somebody dad's

age

how about it Henry oh no I couldn't well

she'll only be here for a couple of

hours then she leaves town

I'd never fool that woman I'm no actor

oh you're not no no no look why don't

you pretend that you're meeting Miss

Lamont say how do you do I'm John Wilson

how do you do I'm John Wilson and you

say you're no actor so I learned to

Olivier couldn't have handled that line

better

come on now help me out do it oh Ali it

might be kind of fun that

all right I'll try it

I always knew you'd come in handy

sometime dad

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she's coming up now Mr Wilson okay um no

I'll be in the dining room if you need

I'll get rid of her just as fast as I

can okay

Dad I'll let her in

is this the residence of John Wilson yes

ma'am he's expecting you if you're Miss

Lamont I'm she darling are you an

offspring of his no ma'am I live next

door to him come on in thank you darling

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how do you do I'm John Wilson hey you

said

you said don't you sit down Miss Lamont

bless you darling

Mr Wilson attorney I know keep your

voice down

is that the material on your life Miss

Lamont just the high spots I really live

darling well I know you're a very busy

woman so we'll just have a short

discussion before we discuss anything

let me look at you

anything wrong

no you're just what I wanted young and a

wee bit innocent

oh fine

now let's get on with the mercenary

details darling

how much do you expect to be paid for

writing my life

would a hundred dollars be too much

running around

I'm going out there the Mr Wilson show I

know what I'm doing just be quiet

I'm glad to find you're so reasonable uh

most men are so unreasonable oh a pardon

the interruption who are you darling I

I'm John Wilson's lawyer and I seem to

have arrived just at the right moment

and my client did not mean that price of

a hundred dollars he said it

well you know how writers are they're

heads in the clouds No thoughts about

money oh that's me all right what he

intends to do is write your life in 10

Chapters at 100 per chapter at roughly a

thousand dollars very roughly

I'll pay him 500. he'll take it but he

doesn't like to d*ck her do you John oh

well you're the doctor

no Mr Wilson's a liar Wilson

oh I'm I'm also his brother he is my

brother Henry what a cozy arrangement

well that's why I came in without

knocking my brother's house is just like

my house yeah just like

and is that why you keep your hat on

oh uh well I wear it because I'm subject

to head cold and neurology I also have a

sinus condition

uh you're in foul-shaped darling

yes well and now that I'm here can I

clear up any other point

oh no I'd rather be alone with your

brother oh of course a very nice meeting

you miss Lamont

you're much nicer than your brother not

so used up looking thanks

well now we can start looking over the

material I must a little rag enough and

stay with us he has a home hasn't he

well well I don't want to go home my

father's a mean man he starves me and

beats me and that's enough about your

father

Keepers I was enjoying this

now we can really get on with it just

the two of us yes I'm I'm anxious to get

started on something oh

hello sweetheart you're home yes darling

I'd like you to meet Miss Norma Lamont

Miss Lamont this is my wife how do you

do Mrs Wilson

John's in the dining room and taking his

place and uh Ms lamott and I are talking

business I think you can find something

to keep you busy

oh

how do you do

John

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what is going on here why is Henry

taking your place

promise you won't laugh I promise

it's the last promise I'll ever make

wow

we can get back to this

imagine your father doing a thing like

that I wish I could see his performance

you can't see it Mark come over and be

Mrs Wilson she's at the dentist today no

I'll keep out of it I guess that would

be all right with Miss Lamont she wanted

me to get out of there so she could be

alone with Dad

oh

it was a good idea of yours Dennis I

will be Mrs Wilson come on

I think the first chapter of my life

should start with where I was born how

does that strike you well it's a good

suggestion bless you darling now

where should I be born

Paris Rome

or possibly Tahiti well where were you

born

Sheboygan Wisconsin

the cheboygan's not really me

hey look who I met outside Mrs Wilson

doc

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hello dear and you must be normal amount

and there's no doubt about that darling

but you are Mrs Wilson well you see I

certainly am

wow here we go again it's so nice to

meet you I've enjoyed your pictures ever

since I was just a little girl

lover I've been waiting for you my wife

don't ask any questions

I'm sorry to break in like this but I

told Alice to meet me here don't you

want to go and see your sister-in-law

Come Along come on

so she's your brother's wife for a

moment I didn't know what was going on I

know just how you feel she kissed you

very affectionately well we're a very

affectionate family don't you kiss your

sister's husband if I had a sister she

wouldn't let me near her husband

but with all these interruptions why it

must be time for you to go you can just

leave this material we still have time

we can carry on till

tell him to come back later Dennis

cranky all right Dennis we came over to

interview Ms Lamont and get some

pictures is she here yes but she can't

see it right now you better come back

later a lot later she'll make time for

the Press

I couldn't keep him out Miss Lamont

indeed well I don't know who these

people are but they have no that's my

newspaper Miss Lamont

oh the newspaper bless you guys

it's cranky he'll spill everything you

girls go out there and see if you can

help Henry get rid of him

but miss Lamont has to leave soon you'd

better get your interview and run along

crinky okay grab a picture bill

oh hello Miss

will be my guest understand Wilson's

doing some writing for you yes he's

agreed to write the fabulous story of my

life good how about a picture of you

with Wilson

splendid

I think you should take another picture

of Miss Lamont by herself yeah I just

took one oh well I think you should take

her profile she's famous for it yes it's

so lovely sweet of you to notice dear

okay now let's get Wilson

I'm taking the back of her head yeah

Juan Wilson not Mitchell

Mitchell yeah where's your husband Mrs

Wilson

oh I give up he's in there

I should have known it

let me handle this

when you're aging brother

do you need any legal advice no but I

think you're going to Darling

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please don't be angry with him Miss

Lamont he's really a fine writer yes he

just wanted you to think he was young

well I was so anxious to do the the

story of your fabulous life well you

definitely won't do it now

I'm in a Miss Lamont if you wanted a

young man you couldn't get one younger

than Mr Wilson Oh come now he's no

juvenile under that two-tone top I don't

mean on the outside that doesn't count

he's young inside really

he's my very best friend we get along

just like we were the same age oh likes

children

well I suppose he has some good

qualities but not only that he thinks

you're beautiful and kind and the best

actress in the world he does oh I do I

do I do you're his very favorite star

are you are you are

well perhaps I have been too hasty

darling if that's the way you feel about

me you should ride my life story oh

thank you Miss Lamont thank you and

thank you Dennison he's crazy about you

miss Lamont he even keeps a picture of

you in his desk I do I do

ah

so this is what you think of me I don't

think you look like General Grant it's

all a mistake you see I can explain

don't bother darling you are not going

to write my life story Miss Le Mans

you're too young in fact you're in your

second childhood

good day

thank you

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no wonder she's mad you made her look

just like General Grant

well at least I was right about that

never mind John you'll get plenty of

other jobs of course you will oh yeah

you've got a lot of talent

you can draw pictures for the comic

books

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thank you

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this has been a screen gems Film

Production

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