04x26 - A Tax on Cats
Posted: 11/13/23 06:41
-And children should be
taught at an early age
to treat animals
with consideration.
For kindness to animals is
a mark of the civilized man.
-Gee, you're a swell
writer, Mr. Wilson.
Read me some more.
-All right.
Well, I go on to
say, the devotion
shown us by our animal
pals deserves our affection
in return.
-It sure does.
-So let us always be kind
to our four-footed friends,
no matter how--
[cat meowing] There's
that pesky cat of
Mrs. Elkins again.
Scat!
Get out!
So let us always be kind to our
four-footed friends no matter
how--
-Jeepers, Mr. Wilson.
Why did you throw your slipper
at little old Tinkerbell?
-Why did I throw my slipper?
Because I didn't have
a rock, that's way.
-But you keep
saying we should be
kind to our four-footed friends.
-Dennis, I do not consider
that confounded cat
of Mrs. Elkins a
four-footed friend.
Cats are a nuisance, and I
don't want them in my yard.
-Well, I guess you're kinder
to Tinkerbell than you think,
Mr. Wilson.
You missed her by a mile.
[theme music]
-Mr. Wilson.
Mr. Wilson!
Oh, there you are.
Mrs. Elkins, what do you want?
-Hi, Mrs. Elkins.
-I want an apology from you.
That's what I want.
You ought to be
ashamed of yourself.
Hello, Dennis.
-I ought to what?
-Don't you give me
that phony innocence.
You deliberately through a rock
at my dear little Tinkerbell
yesterday.
Miss Cathcart saw you.
-Oh, that wasn't
yesterday, Mrs. Elkins.
It was just a few minutes ago.
-What?
-And it wasn't a rock, it was
his bedroom slipper, wasn't it,
Mr. Wilson?
-As a matter of fact,
Dennis, it was both.
Yesterday and today.
-You mean to sit
there and tell me
you threw at my little
Tinkerbell again today?
-Yes, I did.
And I will throw
at the little pest
every time it comes
into this yard.
-Oh, why, why that's the
cruelest thing I ever heard.
-The cats in this
town are a menace.
And that little Stinkerbell
of yours is the worst.
-Oh, you are sick.
-Yes, I am sick.
I'm sick and tired of stray
cats tearing up my flowerbeds
and frightening
away the song birds.
You people should be forced
to buy licenses for them,
keep them on leashes, like dogs.
-Oh, that's ridiculous.
-And any cat caught without a
license should be locked up.
-I do not care to say
another word to you
John Wilson about anything.
But I do have one question.
-What is it?
-Since the law says every
dog must wear a license,
where's yours?
-Of all the nasty, insulting--
by George, I'll show her.
-Jeepers, what are you
going to do, Mr. Wilson?
-I'm going downtown
and tell the city
officials there should be
a license law for cats.
People who have them
should pay a fee.
-But you're too
busy a man to worry
about a little thing
like cats, Mr. Wilson.
Heck, they don't bother anybody.
Maybe decent cats don't,
but that alley rabbit
of Mrs. Elkins bothers me,
and so does Mrs. Elkins.
Well, I'm going to do something
about both of them right now.
-There's already a law in
licensing cats on the books.
-Really?
Sure, here it is.
Ordinance B.
All cats shall be licensed,
the fee to be $ per year.
Any caught without
a license then
shall be impounded,
et cetera, et cetera.
-Well, for heaven's sake,
why aren't you enforcing it?
We tried it a couple of times,
Wilson, but the law's no good.
It's too expensive to enforce.
-Too expensive?
That's a ridiculous statement.
-I told you we tried it.
Cats are too hard to catch.
That's the problem.
Here, see this?
-City Cat Catcher.
Yeah.
-The last guy that wore this
cost the city times as much
as he could collect
in license fees.
It just won't work, Wilson.
-Well, that's a pretty lame
excuse for a lawman, Mooney.
By George, if I was
in charge around here,
I'd make the law work.
-Oh, you would, would you?
-You bet I would.
If you ran your department--
what are you doing?
-I'm taking you
up on your offer.
You are now officially deputized
as special City Cat Catcher.
-Oh, now, Mooney, just a minute.
-You catch a dozen cats
in the next hours,
and I'll put that
law back in force.
-Oh, well, I could do it.
Make no mistake about that.
It's just that, uh,
well, that I'm too busy.
-Hello.
Mayor's office?
Let me talk to the mayor.
Sgt. Mooney.
-The mayor?
Oh, now wait.
Hello, mayor?
Good news.
You know that city
cat-catching ordinance?
John Wilson's going
to take it on today.
He's going to show
us how to do it.
-Oh, well, I didn't-- I didn't.
-What's that, mayor?
John Wilson's a big
bag of wind, huh?
-Well, of all--
-He always brags up a storm,
and then backs out, huh?
-Is that so?
You tell the mayor that I
back up my words with action.
I'll accept that appointment.
-A dozen cats in hours.
That's a deal, Wilson.
-I'll show you and the mayor.
-Hello, Mom?
It's a little joke I'm
playing on a fella that
brags a little too much.
Yeah, I'll tell you all about
it when I come home for lunch.
Goodbye, Mom.
-Eloise, I know what I'm doing.
I intend to round up every
stray feline in this town
with lures, traps, and a net.
-You certainly are going
to a lot of trouble
just to get even
with Mrs. Elkins cat.
-This has nothing to
do with Mrs. Elkins.
Not anymore.
It's a matter of gross
inefficiency in our city
government, and I
intend to expose it
for our voters to see.
-How's that again?
-Look, we have a
law in this town,
and it is not being enforced.
Now by catching
those cats, I intend
to focus attention on
the entire situation.
Wake up the voters.
Let them see how badly
their city is being run.
-Oh, sort of rouse
the rabble, huh?
-Exactly.
And if the people react
as I expect them to,
I could organize a committee
to investigate graft
in our city government.
Something like that.
-Dear, don't you think
you ought to stick
to just being a writer?
-I could very well be asked
to run for city council
on the strength of this.
And after that, who know?
Mayor, governor, senator,
almost anything could happen.
-My goodness, just think, you
might become the only President
in American history who
started out as a cat catcher.
Sick 'em Mr. President.
-Hi, Mr. Wilson.
-Hello, boys.
-Gee, what are you going
to do with swell net?
-Going fishing?
-Catch butterflies?
-No, I'm going to work, fellas.
See my badge?
-City Cat Catcher.
Cat catcher?
-I've been appointed to round
up all the stray cats in town,
take them down to the city
pound and lock them up.
-Lock them up?
-If their owners
want them, they'll
have to come down and
buy a license for them.
-Yeah, but Mr. Wilson, what
if they don't have any owners?
Well, then they'll just
stay locked up, that's all.
-Boy, is that dirty.
-I haven't time
to talk now, boys.
I've got to get busy.
-Mr. Wilson, Mr.
Wilson, you just
gotta talk to me for a second,
because what I've got to say
is real important.
-All right, Dennis, what is it?
-We've been friends for
a long time, haven't we?
-Well, I've always
thought so, yes.
You're the best grown
up friend I've got,
and I'm always on your side.
But this time, Mr.
Wilson, you're wrong.
Absolutely wrong.
-Oh, now, let's not go into--
-I'm the side of our
four-footed friends
like you wrote in your article.
And I am going to
help the cats to keep
from getting caught
any way I can.
-You go right ahead.
You go right ahead, Dennis.
Do what you like.
I am going out and catch cats.
Goodbye.
-He sure is a mean
old man today.
-He is not mean, Seymour.
He's just not thinking
straight, that's all.
-Don't worry, Dennis.
Me and Seymour will help you.
He won't catch a single cat.
-No, sir, he sure won't.
-Every time he tries, we'll
mess him up, won't we?
-Yeah, we sure will.
-We'll mess him up.
-Because I like cats.
-I like cats, too.
-I just like to mess people up.
-Here he comes.
We've got to save that cat.
Ready with the decoy, Tommy?
-Ready, Dennis.
-OK, Seymour.
You meow.
Then we'll hide over there.
-Meow, meow, meow,
meow, meow, meow.
-Miserable-- Again.
The phantom strikes again.
[meow]
[meow]
-Here, Tinkerbell.
Nice Tinkerbell.
Come take a ride in the sack.
Tinkerbell, come on, Tinkerbell.
Here, Tinkerbell.
Right here.
[meows]
-Confound it!
-He's what?
In my yard now trying
to catch Tinkerbell.
Who's this calling?
The phantom?
Well, I'll take care of him.
Thank you, phantom.
-You're welcome, Mrs. Elkins.
-Come, Tinkerbell.
Tinkerbell.
Tinkerbell.
Come, Tinkerbell.
[yells] Here, kitty,
kitty, kitty, kitty.
Here's some nice milk for you.
Come on, kitty.
It's half cream.
Real yummy.
Come on, kitty.
-He's going to get one.
-Yeah.
-It's time to use
the secret w*apon.
You ready, Seymour?
-Right here in my pocket.
-Boy, the secret
w*apon sure worked.
-Here comes Mr. Wilson.
-So I caught you!
-Yeah, but you
didn't catch the cat.
-Well, I should have.
-Why did he pass up
that saucer of milk?
-We have a secret w*apon.
-Oh, you boys have
been following me
around all day haven't you?
Trying to foul me up.
-We haven't been
trying Mr. Wilson.
We've been doing it.
-Yeah.
And we're going to
keep right on doing it.
-We're good fouler-uppers.
-Like I told you,
we're protecting
our four-footed friends.
-Dennis, I realize
your motive, and I
admire what you boys have done.
-You do?
-Yes, but unfortunately there's
been a terrible mistake.
You have misjudged
me completely.
-We have?
-Oh, absolutely, my boy.
You think that I have been
rounding up these cats,
because I don't like
them, don't you?
-Yeah.
That's what we think.
-You're a stinker.
-He is not, Seymour.
Mr. Wilson is a real nice man.
He's just a little nutty today.
-Yes, uh, no.
What I-- well, as
a matter of fact,
I am rounding up these cats
purely for their own good.
-Why is it good to take
them away from their homes?
-Oh, I don't mean the
ones with homes, Dennis.
I mean, those poor stray cats.
Theirs is a sad plight, indeed.
-It is?
-Oh, yes.
Yes, boys, those poor
creatures never had a chance,
but I'm going to see to
it that they get that.
-How?
-I'm going to make it
my personal concern
to see that each one of
those cats gets a good home
and loving care.
-But this morning, you
acted like you hated cats.
You said Tinkerbell was a pest.
-Oh, well, that
was because I was
upset with Mrs. Elkins, Dennis.
My true self wasn't speaking.
-Is it speaking now?
-In words of deepest sincerity.
-Gosh.
I guess we were wrong
about you, Mr. Wilson.
-I was hoping you'd
see it my way,
because I need you with me.
-You mean you want us
to help you catch them?
-Exactly.
If we combine our
efforts, I'm sure that we
can bring happiness to those
poor, unfortunate animals.
-OK, Mr. Wilson.
I'll help you.
-Me, too.
-I'd rather catch them anyhow.
-Bless your sweet,
understanding little hearts.
You have made a noble decision.
Now let's get busy
and round them up.
-I sure wish you and
them kids hadn't of
dragged all these
tarnation cats in here.
-Well, where else would
we take them, Mr. Tibbitt.
After all, this
is the city pound.
-Yeah, but I just don't
like to have them around.
I can't stand all
this caterwauling.
-Well, they are
cats, Mr. Tibbitt.
They can't help caterwauling.
-I ain't amused, sonny.
-Well, their owners will be
calling for some of them.
-The sooner the better.
-Oh, but don't let
any of these cats
go until Sgt. Mooney
comes by and counts them.
He wasn't at the police
station, but I left word for him
to drop by.
-A fine thing.
The police wasting
their time counting
a bunch of caterwauling,
flea-bitten critters.
-Oh, the time won't be wasted.
From now on, owners
will have to pay
a license fee of
$ for each cat.
-Anybody that would
pay $ to keep a cat
ought to have his
head examined into.
-Well, it will be a great
source of revenue for our city.
Oh, I better be getting home.
I promised my wife
I'd take her shopping.
-Yeah, go ahead.
That's right, that's right.
Run on off and leave me here
with this flea-bitten bunch
of caterwauling critters.
-You really dislike
cats, don't you?
-I tarnation do.
-Well, I suppose you enjoy
taking care of the dogs
out in the kennel.
-Can't stand them neither.
Smelly, yapping things.
-I'm surprised you don't give
up your job here at the pound.
-Give up a high class job
with the city government?
Ah, heh, heh, sonny, I
can't do nothing like that.
That's one of them
status symbols.
-Oh, well, tell Sgt. Mooney I'll
get in touch with him later.
-Oh, why don't you stop
all of this yowling,
oh, great g*ns, whoo.
-Once I persuaded Dennis and
the other boys to work with me,
we caught cats by the dozens.
-It must have been jimdandy fun.
-I didn't do it for fun, Eloise.
I did it to expose the gross
inefficiency of our city
government.
-That's right, of course, dear.
-I'm sure the
voters of this town
will remember John Wilson
when the next vacancy appears
on the city council.
-You know, I'm so
glad you're taking me
down to the beauty shop.
Now I can tell
all the girls what
an important man I'm married to.
-Well, you could
say that I suppose.
-My husband, the cat catcher.
-Meow, meow, meow.
Meow to you, too.
You tarnation cats
never stop yowling.
-Hi, Mr. Tibbitt.
-Hi, there, young fellas.
Say, ain't you the
ones that helped
that Mr. Wilson drag
all these cats in here?
-Yeah, that's right.
-Oh, no.
Don't tell me you've
got more of them?
-No.
We just came to see how
many were still here.
-Oh, oh, well, that Sgt. Mooney
came over and counted them,
and then some of the owners came
and took about seven of them
away.
And I put the rest of them
in that big cage over there.
-Gee.
That's a lot of
homeless cats, Tommy.
-I think there's
about of them.
Well, they'll soon be living
with good old Mr. Wilson.
-Wait a minute.
Do you mean to say that
Wilson fella wants them?
-Yeah.
He said these cats
should have a good home.
-And loving care.
-So he said he's going to
give them what they deserve.
-Well, that beats all.
He didn't look like a nut.
-Can we take the
cats to him now?
-I don't know.
He's supposed to sign for them.
-We'll sign.
You know we worked with him.
-Yeah, we were
assistant cat catchers.
-Yeah, yeah.
You can have these
tarnation cats.
-Thanks, Mr. Tibbitt.
-Personally, I think
he's touched in the head.
But us big city officials
have to work together.
Come over here and sign for him.
-Hi, Mr. Wilson.
-Well, hello, boys.
Were you waiting for me?
-Yeah.
We've got a wonderful
surprise for you.
Close your eyes, and I'll
lead you in the house.
-Well, you did help me today.
The least I can do is
join in your little game.
-Give me your keys.
-Keys?
All right.
-Now close your eyes.
-All right.
-Keep them closed.
-Oh, I will.
-OK, Mr. Wilson,
now open your eyes.
-Great Christopher!
Oh, no!
Oh, no!
-Isn't it swell?
-Did-- did you boys
let these cats in here?
-We brought them
through the window.
They're all yours, Mr. Wilson.
-Mine?
-You said you'd give them a
good home with loving care.
-No, no, no, I said I'd get them
good homes with other people.
-You weren't telling us a
fib were you Mr. Wilson?
You do like cats, don't you?
-Well, uh, yes, yes, of
course, but I didn't expect--
-I knew you'd rather keep
them than give them away.
-Dennis, I have
no intention of--
[doorbell rings]
That must be Eloise.
How can I explain this to her?
The door's unlocked, dear.
-Thank you, sweetheart.
Just came by to say
you win, Wilson.
Yesterday, you
caught enough cats,
so the licensing law
is back in effect.
All cat owners have to pay--
holy smokes, more cats?
-They aren't alligators.
-I gotta get going, Dennis.
I'll see you later.
-Bye, Tommy.
Like I said, Wilson, from
now on all cat owners
have to pay a fee of $ per cat.
Well, let's see, these
will cost you about $ .
-$ ?
-There might be more in
the kitchen, Sgt. Mooney.
I'll go see.
-Now look, Mooney, these
animals aren't really mine.
Dennis thought I wanted them.
-They're in your
house, aren't they?
-Oh, yes, but that has nothing--
-Uh, Wilson, I brought along
a copy of the law here.
Let me read it to you, huh?
Any person having
a cat in his home,
is libel to a license
fee of $ for each cat.
-I won't pay it.
-Or a fine of $ per
cat if the license
is not purchased immediately.
-I'll pay it.
-I thought you'd see it my way.
-$ , $ .
-Look what I found Mr. Wilson.
A lady cat left five little
kittens in your dishpan.
-Oh, I can't stand it.
-Well, it looks like
another $ , Wilson.
-They're so small,
Sgt. Mooney, can he
have them for half price?
-OK.
Half price.
-Oh, you're so good to me.
-That's because you're a
nice man who loves cats.
[theme music]
taught at an early age
to treat animals
with consideration.
For kindness to animals is
a mark of the civilized man.
-Gee, you're a swell
writer, Mr. Wilson.
Read me some more.
-All right.
Well, I go on to
say, the devotion
shown us by our animal
pals deserves our affection
in return.
-It sure does.
-So let us always be kind
to our four-footed friends,
no matter how--
[cat meowing] There's
that pesky cat of
Mrs. Elkins again.
Scat!
Get out!
So let us always be kind to our
four-footed friends no matter
how--
-Jeepers, Mr. Wilson.
Why did you throw your slipper
at little old Tinkerbell?
-Why did I throw my slipper?
Because I didn't have
a rock, that's way.
-But you keep
saying we should be
kind to our four-footed friends.
-Dennis, I do not consider
that confounded cat
of Mrs. Elkins a
four-footed friend.
Cats are a nuisance, and I
don't want them in my yard.
-Well, I guess you're kinder
to Tinkerbell than you think,
Mr. Wilson.
You missed her by a mile.
[theme music]
-Mr. Wilson.
Mr. Wilson!
Oh, there you are.
Mrs. Elkins, what do you want?
-Hi, Mrs. Elkins.
-I want an apology from you.
That's what I want.
You ought to be
ashamed of yourself.
Hello, Dennis.
-I ought to what?
-Don't you give me
that phony innocence.
You deliberately through a rock
at my dear little Tinkerbell
yesterday.
Miss Cathcart saw you.
-Oh, that wasn't
yesterday, Mrs. Elkins.
It was just a few minutes ago.
-What?
-And it wasn't a rock, it was
his bedroom slipper, wasn't it,
Mr. Wilson?
-As a matter of fact,
Dennis, it was both.
Yesterday and today.
-You mean to sit
there and tell me
you threw at my little
Tinkerbell again today?
-Yes, I did.
And I will throw
at the little pest
every time it comes
into this yard.
-Oh, why, why that's the
cruelest thing I ever heard.
-The cats in this
town are a menace.
And that little Stinkerbell
of yours is the worst.
-Oh, you are sick.
-Yes, I am sick.
I'm sick and tired of stray
cats tearing up my flowerbeds
and frightening
away the song birds.
You people should be forced
to buy licenses for them,
keep them on leashes, like dogs.
-Oh, that's ridiculous.
-And any cat caught without a
license should be locked up.
-I do not care to say
another word to you
John Wilson about anything.
But I do have one question.
-What is it?
-Since the law says every
dog must wear a license,
where's yours?
-Of all the nasty, insulting--
by George, I'll show her.
-Jeepers, what are you
going to do, Mr. Wilson?
-I'm going downtown
and tell the city
officials there should be
a license law for cats.
People who have them
should pay a fee.
-But you're too
busy a man to worry
about a little thing
like cats, Mr. Wilson.
Heck, they don't bother anybody.
Maybe decent cats don't,
but that alley rabbit
of Mrs. Elkins bothers me,
and so does Mrs. Elkins.
Well, I'm going to do something
about both of them right now.
-There's already a law in
licensing cats on the books.
-Really?
Sure, here it is.
Ordinance B.
All cats shall be licensed,
the fee to be $ per year.
Any caught without
a license then
shall be impounded,
et cetera, et cetera.
-Well, for heaven's sake,
why aren't you enforcing it?
We tried it a couple of times,
Wilson, but the law's no good.
It's too expensive to enforce.
-Too expensive?
That's a ridiculous statement.
-I told you we tried it.
Cats are too hard to catch.
That's the problem.
Here, see this?
-City Cat Catcher.
Yeah.
-The last guy that wore this
cost the city times as much
as he could collect
in license fees.
It just won't work, Wilson.
-Well, that's a pretty lame
excuse for a lawman, Mooney.
By George, if I was
in charge around here,
I'd make the law work.
-Oh, you would, would you?
-You bet I would.
If you ran your department--
what are you doing?
-I'm taking you
up on your offer.
You are now officially deputized
as special City Cat Catcher.
-Oh, now, Mooney, just a minute.
-You catch a dozen cats
in the next hours,
and I'll put that
law back in force.
-Oh, well, I could do it.
Make no mistake about that.
It's just that, uh,
well, that I'm too busy.
-Hello.
Mayor's office?
Let me talk to the mayor.
Sgt. Mooney.
-The mayor?
Oh, now wait.
Hello, mayor?
Good news.
You know that city
cat-catching ordinance?
John Wilson's going
to take it on today.
He's going to show
us how to do it.
-Oh, well, I didn't-- I didn't.
-What's that, mayor?
John Wilson's a big
bag of wind, huh?
-Well, of all--
-He always brags up a storm,
and then backs out, huh?
-Is that so?
You tell the mayor that I
back up my words with action.
I'll accept that appointment.
-A dozen cats in hours.
That's a deal, Wilson.
-I'll show you and the mayor.
-Hello, Mom?
It's a little joke I'm
playing on a fella that
brags a little too much.
Yeah, I'll tell you all about
it when I come home for lunch.
Goodbye, Mom.
-Eloise, I know what I'm doing.
I intend to round up every
stray feline in this town
with lures, traps, and a net.
-You certainly are going
to a lot of trouble
just to get even
with Mrs. Elkins cat.
-This has nothing to
do with Mrs. Elkins.
Not anymore.
It's a matter of gross
inefficiency in our city
government, and I
intend to expose it
for our voters to see.
-How's that again?
-Look, we have a
law in this town,
and it is not being enforced.
Now by catching
those cats, I intend
to focus attention on
the entire situation.
Wake up the voters.
Let them see how badly
their city is being run.
-Oh, sort of rouse
the rabble, huh?
-Exactly.
And if the people react
as I expect them to,
I could organize a committee
to investigate graft
in our city government.
Something like that.
-Dear, don't you think
you ought to stick
to just being a writer?
-I could very well be asked
to run for city council
on the strength of this.
And after that, who know?
Mayor, governor, senator,
almost anything could happen.
-My goodness, just think, you
might become the only President
in American history who
started out as a cat catcher.
Sick 'em Mr. President.
-Hi, Mr. Wilson.
-Hello, boys.
-Gee, what are you going
to do with swell net?
-Going fishing?
-Catch butterflies?
-No, I'm going to work, fellas.
See my badge?
-City Cat Catcher.
Cat catcher?
-I've been appointed to round
up all the stray cats in town,
take them down to the city
pound and lock them up.
-Lock them up?
-If their owners
want them, they'll
have to come down and
buy a license for them.
-Yeah, but Mr. Wilson, what
if they don't have any owners?
Well, then they'll just
stay locked up, that's all.
-Boy, is that dirty.
-I haven't time
to talk now, boys.
I've got to get busy.
-Mr. Wilson, Mr.
Wilson, you just
gotta talk to me for a second,
because what I've got to say
is real important.
-All right, Dennis, what is it?
-We've been friends for
a long time, haven't we?
-Well, I've always
thought so, yes.
You're the best grown
up friend I've got,
and I'm always on your side.
But this time, Mr.
Wilson, you're wrong.
Absolutely wrong.
-Oh, now, let's not go into--
-I'm the side of our
four-footed friends
like you wrote in your article.
And I am going to
help the cats to keep
from getting caught
any way I can.
-You go right ahead.
You go right ahead, Dennis.
Do what you like.
I am going out and catch cats.
Goodbye.
-He sure is a mean
old man today.
-He is not mean, Seymour.
He's just not thinking
straight, that's all.
-Don't worry, Dennis.
Me and Seymour will help you.
He won't catch a single cat.
-No, sir, he sure won't.
-Every time he tries, we'll
mess him up, won't we?
-Yeah, we sure will.
-We'll mess him up.
-Because I like cats.
-I like cats, too.
-I just like to mess people up.
-Here he comes.
We've got to save that cat.
Ready with the decoy, Tommy?
-Ready, Dennis.
-OK, Seymour.
You meow.
Then we'll hide over there.
-Meow, meow, meow,
meow, meow, meow.
-Miserable-- Again.
The phantom strikes again.
[meow]
[meow]
-Here, Tinkerbell.
Nice Tinkerbell.
Come take a ride in the sack.
Tinkerbell, come on, Tinkerbell.
Here, Tinkerbell.
Right here.
[meows]
-Confound it!
-He's what?
In my yard now trying
to catch Tinkerbell.
Who's this calling?
The phantom?
Well, I'll take care of him.
Thank you, phantom.
-You're welcome, Mrs. Elkins.
-Come, Tinkerbell.
Tinkerbell.
Tinkerbell.
Come, Tinkerbell.
[yells] Here, kitty,
kitty, kitty, kitty.
Here's some nice milk for you.
Come on, kitty.
It's half cream.
Real yummy.
Come on, kitty.
-He's going to get one.
-Yeah.
-It's time to use
the secret w*apon.
You ready, Seymour?
-Right here in my pocket.
-Boy, the secret
w*apon sure worked.
-Here comes Mr. Wilson.
-So I caught you!
-Yeah, but you
didn't catch the cat.
-Well, I should have.
-Why did he pass up
that saucer of milk?
-We have a secret w*apon.
-Oh, you boys have
been following me
around all day haven't you?
Trying to foul me up.
-We haven't been
trying Mr. Wilson.
We've been doing it.
-Yeah.
And we're going to
keep right on doing it.
-We're good fouler-uppers.
-Like I told you,
we're protecting
our four-footed friends.
-Dennis, I realize
your motive, and I
admire what you boys have done.
-You do?
-Yes, but unfortunately there's
been a terrible mistake.
You have misjudged
me completely.
-We have?
-Oh, absolutely, my boy.
You think that I have been
rounding up these cats,
because I don't like
them, don't you?
-Yeah.
That's what we think.
-You're a stinker.
-He is not, Seymour.
Mr. Wilson is a real nice man.
He's just a little nutty today.
-Yes, uh, no.
What I-- well, as
a matter of fact,
I am rounding up these cats
purely for their own good.
-Why is it good to take
them away from their homes?
-Oh, I don't mean the
ones with homes, Dennis.
I mean, those poor stray cats.
Theirs is a sad plight, indeed.
-It is?
-Oh, yes.
Yes, boys, those poor
creatures never had a chance,
but I'm going to see to
it that they get that.
-How?
-I'm going to make it
my personal concern
to see that each one of
those cats gets a good home
and loving care.
-But this morning, you
acted like you hated cats.
You said Tinkerbell was a pest.
-Oh, well, that
was because I was
upset with Mrs. Elkins, Dennis.
My true self wasn't speaking.
-Is it speaking now?
-In words of deepest sincerity.
-Gosh.
I guess we were wrong
about you, Mr. Wilson.
-I was hoping you'd
see it my way,
because I need you with me.
-You mean you want us
to help you catch them?
-Exactly.
If we combine our
efforts, I'm sure that we
can bring happiness to those
poor, unfortunate animals.
-OK, Mr. Wilson.
I'll help you.
-Me, too.
-I'd rather catch them anyhow.
-Bless your sweet,
understanding little hearts.
You have made a noble decision.
Now let's get busy
and round them up.
-I sure wish you and
them kids hadn't of
dragged all these
tarnation cats in here.
-Well, where else would
we take them, Mr. Tibbitt.
After all, this
is the city pound.
-Yeah, but I just don't
like to have them around.
I can't stand all
this caterwauling.
-Well, they are
cats, Mr. Tibbitt.
They can't help caterwauling.
-I ain't amused, sonny.
-Well, their owners will be
calling for some of them.
-The sooner the better.
-Oh, but don't let
any of these cats
go until Sgt. Mooney
comes by and counts them.
He wasn't at the police
station, but I left word for him
to drop by.
-A fine thing.
The police wasting
their time counting
a bunch of caterwauling,
flea-bitten critters.
-Oh, the time won't be wasted.
From now on, owners
will have to pay
a license fee of
$ for each cat.
-Anybody that would
pay $ to keep a cat
ought to have his
head examined into.
-Well, it will be a great
source of revenue for our city.
Oh, I better be getting home.
I promised my wife
I'd take her shopping.
-Yeah, go ahead.
That's right, that's right.
Run on off and leave me here
with this flea-bitten bunch
of caterwauling critters.
-You really dislike
cats, don't you?
-I tarnation do.
-Well, I suppose you enjoy
taking care of the dogs
out in the kennel.
-Can't stand them neither.
Smelly, yapping things.
-I'm surprised you don't give
up your job here at the pound.
-Give up a high class job
with the city government?
Ah, heh, heh, sonny, I
can't do nothing like that.
That's one of them
status symbols.
-Oh, well, tell Sgt. Mooney I'll
get in touch with him later.
-Oh, why don't you stop
all of this yowling,
oh, great g*ns, whoo.
-Once I persuaded Dennis and
the other boys to work with me,
we caught cats by the dozens.
-It must have been jimdandy fun.
-I didn't do it for fun, Eloise.
I did it to expose the gross
inefficiency of our city
government.
-That's right, of course, dear.
-I'm sure the
voters of this town
will remember John Wilson
when the next vacancy appears
on the city council.
-You know, I'm so
glad you're taking me
down to the beauty shop.
Now I can tell
all the girls what
an important man I'm married to.
-Well, you could
say that I suppose.
-My husband, the cat catcher.
-Meow, meow, meow.
Meow to you, too.
You tarnation cats
never stop yowling.
-Hi, Mr. Tibbitt.
-Hi, there, young fellas.
Say, ain't you the
ones that helped
that Mr. Wilson drag
all these cats in here?
-Yeah, that's right.
-Oh, no.
Don't tell me you've
got more of them?
-No.
We just came to see how
many were still here.
-Oh, oh, well, that Sgt. Mooney
came over and counted them,
and then some of the owners came
and took about seven of them
away.
And I put the rest of them
in that big cage over there.
-Gee.
That's a lot of
homeless cats, Tommy.
-I think there's
about of them.
Well, they'll soon be living
with good old Mr. Wilson.
-Wait a minute.
Do you mean to say that
Wilson fella wants them?
-Yeah.
He said these cats
should have a good home.
-And loving care.
-So he said he's going to
give them what they deserve.
-Well, that beats all.
He didn't look like a nut.
-Can we take the
cats to him now?
-I don't know.
He's supposed to sign for them.
-We'll sign.
You know we worked with him.
-Yeah, we were
assistant cat catchers.
-Yeah, yeah.
You can have these
tarnation cats.
-Thanks, Mr. Tibbitt.
-Personally, I think
he's touched in the head.
But us big city officials
have to work together.
Come over here and sign for him.
-Hi, Mr. Wilson.
-Well, hello, boys.
Were you waiting for me?
-Yeah.
We've got a wonderful
surprise for you.
Close your eyes, and I'll
lead you in the house.
-Well, you did help me today.
The least I can do is
join in your little game.
-Give me your keys.
-Keys?
All right.
-Now close your eyes.
-All right.
-Keep them closed.
-Oh, I will.
-OK, Mr. Wilson,
now open your eyes.
-Great Christopher!
Oh, no!
Oh, no!
-Isn't it swell?
-Did-- did you boys
let these cats in here?
-We brought them
through the window.
They're all yours, Mr. Wilson.
-Mine?
-You said you'd give them a
good home with loving care.
-No, no, no, I said I'd get them
good homes with other people.
-You weren't telling us a
fib were you Mr. Wilson?
You do like cats, don't you?
-Well, uh, yes, yes, of
course, but I didn't expect--
-I knew you'd rather keep
them than give them away.
-Dennis, I have
no intention of--
[doorbell rings]
That must be Eloise.
How can I explain this to her?
The door's unlocked, dear.
-Thank you, sweetheart.
Just came by to say
you win, Wilson.
Yesterday, you
caught enough cats,
so the licensing law
is back in effect.
All cat owners have to pay--
holy smokes, more cats?
-They aren't alligators.
-I gotta get going, Dennis.
I'll see you later.
-Bye, Tommy.
Like I said, Wilson, from
now on all cat owners
have to pay a fee of $ per cat.
Well, let's see, these
will cost you about $ .
-$ ?
-There might be more in
the kitchen, Sgt. Mooney.
I'll go see.
-Now look, Mooney, these
animals aren't really mine.
Dennis thought I wanted them.
-They're in your
house, aren't they?
-Oh, yes, but that has nothing--
-Uh, Wilson, I brought along
a copy of the law here.
Let me read it to you, huh?
Any person having
a cat in his home,
is libel to a license
fee of $ for each cat.
-I won't pay it.
-Or a fine of $ per
cat if the license
is not purchased immediately.
-I'll pay it.
-I thought you'd see it my way.
-$ , $ .
-Look what I found Mr. Wilson.
A lady cat left five little
kittens in your dishpan.
-Oh, I can't stand it.
-Well, it looks like
another $ , Wilson.
-They're so small,
Sgt. Mooney, can he
have them for half price?
-OK.
Half price.
-Oh, you're so good to me.
-That's because you're a
nice man who loves cats.
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