04x23 - Baby Booties

[bunniefuu]

-Oh, of course you can have

them delivered here, Eloise.

No, it won't be any trouble

at-- we'd better not

discuss it anymore, Eloise.

You-know-who just walked in.

I'll talk to you tomorrow.

-Was that Mrs. Wilson?

-Yes.

-Every time I come in and you're

talking to her on the phone,

you say, here

comes you-know-who,

and then you hang up.

What's going on between

you and Mrs. Wilson?

-Dennis.

-Oh, hi, Dad.

I didn't know you were home.

-What did you think was

holding up this paper?

-Dennis, I don't want

to hurt your feelings,

but if I wanted you to know

what Mrs. Wilson and I were

talking about, I'd tell you.

-That's right, Dennis.

You've got to learn

not to ask about things

that are none of your business.

-Yes, sir.

But how will I know if

they're none of my business

if I don't ask what they are.

[theme music]

-Oh, Eloise, they're darling.

Does Mr. Wilson

suspect anything?

-Not a thing.

-Well, he'd be surprised.

Oh, they certainly

bring back memories.

Remind me of the first

thing I knitted for Dennis.

-You don't think the

bows are too much?

-Oh, no, I think it's cute.

-Well, it could fit better.

But a baby bootie pattern was

the closest thing I could find.

They don't make a pattern

for golf club covers.

Oh, I hope John

likes his present.

-Oh, Eloise, it's

a wonderful gift.

-Of course, the golf clubs

were Dr. Johnson's idea.

He thinks John should take

up golf for the exercise.

-You don't think it's a

little late for him to learn?

-Dr. Johnson doesn't think so.

-Well, between the golf

clubs and the party,

he's certainly going

to be surprised.

-Yes, especially

since I promised him

I wouldn't even mention

his birthday to anyone.

He stopped celebrating

them years ago.

Oh, dear.

What's the matter?

I'm afraid I'm going

to run out of wool.

I simply have to have

enough to finish this

before John's surprise

party tonight.

-Oh, I'm sure the knit

shop is still open.

Oh, Eloise, I don't see

how you've managed it.

I'd never have been able to keep

a secret like this from Henry.

Not with Dennis around.

By now the whole neighborhood

would know about it.

DENNIS (OFFSCREEN): Mom!

Hi, Mrs. Wilson.

Hi, Mom.

-Hello, dear.

Dennis, I thought you

were playing baseball.

The game's over.

My team won, to nothing.

-So soon?

-We only played one inning.

Oh, boy!

Are these what you got Mr.

Wilson for his birthday?

-Yes, Dennis, but they're

supposed to be a surprise,

so please don't

mention it to him.

-I won't.

Gee, now I know what to

get him-- a golf ball.

-Well, Dennis, Mr. Wilson

doesn't celebrate his birthday.

-Then why are you giving

him the surprise party?

-Dennis, how did

you know about that?

-Oh, I found the

birthday cake Mrs. Wilson

left in our refrigerator.

-Dennis, you're not

going to say one word

to Mr. Wilson about either the

clubs or the surprise party.

-I won't, Mom.

Hey, what are these?

-Just something Mrs.

Wilson's knitting.

-Who for?

-Dennis, you know

too much already.

Now stop asking questions

-Dennis, would you like

to run an errand for me?

-Well, I was going

to go roller-skating.

-It's worth a quarter.

-Hey, I could use that

toward buying the golf ball.

What do you want me to do?

-Well, go down to

the knit shop and get

it another skein

of wool like this.

Tell Mrs. Gallagher

to charge it.

-What about the quarter?

You gonna charge that, too?

-Dennis, Mrs. Wilson will

pay you the quarter as

soon as you come

back with the wool.

Now scoot!

-OK, Mom.

-Baby booties?

DENNIS (OFFSCREEN): Yeah.

That's why Mrs.

Wilson needs the wool.

-Boy, you know what that means.

-No, what?

-Whenever my mom

knits baby booties,

I get a new brother or sister.

-Jeepers, you mean

Mr. and Mrs. Wilson?

-Sure.

Why else would she

be knitting them?

-I guess that's why

I'm a only child.

My mother doesn't

know how to knit.

-Mine sure does.

-Jeepers, Tommy, this

complicates things.

I was going to get Mr.

Wilson a golf ball.

But under the

circumstances, I ought

to get him something bigger.

-How about a basketball?

-Hey, I know what I ought to

give him-- a box of cigars.

But they're pretty expensive.

-Hey, I know where you can

make a couple of dollars.

-Oh, boy, where?

-Mr. Fleckner.

He pays $ for every lead.

-Wow, come on.

Let's go find him.

-Yeah!

-Where do you

think you're going?

-With you.

I want to make $ , too.

-Seymour, your

mother's calling you.

-She is?

Boy, you sure got good ears.

She's in Philadelphia

visiting my grandmother.

-Now let me get this

straight, Dennis.

Mr. And Mrs. John Wilson?

-That's right, Mr. Fleckner.

They live right next door to me.

-Well, thanks for

the lead, Dennis.

-How about the $ , Mr. Fleckner?

-Oh, yeah.

-Gee, thanks.

-Don't forget.

If you have any more

leads, let me know.

BOTH: We sure

will, Mr. Fleckner.

-I gotta get going now.

See you later.

-Bye, Tommy.

-Well, I do hope you can

make it, Dr. Johnson.

I'm trying to arrange

for another doctor

to fill in for me

at the hospital.

I'll call you the moment I know.

-Well, I'm counting

on you, Doctor.

Bye.

-Will he be able to make it?

-Well, I hope so.

It wouldn't be a surprise

party without Dr. Johnson.

-And his famous spaghetti.

Mmm.

-I do wish Dennis would

hurry back with that wool.

-I can't imagine

what's keeping him.

-Mr. Fleckner pays $ for leads.

-I'm sorry, Dennis, my company

doesn't do anything like that.

-Oh.

-The best I can do is

offer you a bottle of milk.

-Chocolate?

-Chocolate.

-It's a deal.

Their name is Mr.

and Mrs. John Wilson.

They live right next door to me.

Hey, Mr. Wilson!

-Oh, hi, Dennis.

-Congratulations.

-Congratulations?

I didn't think you knew.

-Oh, you can't keep a

thing like that a secret.

-Oh, that Eloise.

She promised she wouldn't

say anything this year.

-Oh, she didn't tell me.

I didn't realize it

till Tommy told me.

[phone ringing]

-Tommy?

How did--

-Your phone's

ringing, Mr. Wilson.

See you later.

[phone ringing]

-Eloise?

Eloise!

Why doesn't she stay

home and answer the phone

instead of running all over

town blabbing about my birthday?

Hello?

-Hello, John, this

is Doc Johnson.

Let me talk to Eloise.

-Well, she's not a home.

She's--

[doorbell rings]

-Oh, there's somebody

at the front door.

It's probably her.

She's always forgetting her key.

Hold on.

-Yes?

-Mr. Wilson?

Is Mrs. Wilson at home?

-No, she's not.

I'm from the Daisy

Dairy, the Family Dairy.

You can always depend

on our certified milk.

-I'm glad to hear it.

But what would we need

certified milk for?

-You don't know?

-Know what?

-Oh, I guess the husband is

always the last one to know.

It was the same at my

house, until the man

from the didee service

came to the door.

-What are you talking about?

-Just give this

card to Mrs. Wilson.

And remember our slogan--

"Fresh from the cow to you."

-Hello, Dr. Johnson,

are you still there?

Yeah, well, I'm sorry,

but that wasn't Eloise.

-Could you give her

a message for me?

MR. WILSON (ON PHONE): Sure.

-Tell her everything's all

arranged at the hospital.

-What's arranged?

What hospital?

-You'll find out in due time.

-Find out what?

Doc?

Doc?

[doorbell rings]

-Eloise, why don't you-- oh.

-Mr. Wilson?

Is Mrs. Wilson home?

-No, she's not.

-Well, I'm with the

Dandee Didee Service.

You know, "If It Isn't a

Dandee, It Isn't a Didee"?

-No, I didn't know.

-Just tell Mrs. Wilson that when

she needs us, if she'll please

give us a call.

-Now why would she

need a didee service?

-Oh, you don't know.

-Know what?

-I'll bet I've broken

the news to %

of the husbands in this town.

-What news?

-You'd better ask Mrs. Wilson.

-Certified milk?

Didee service?

Hospital?

Anyone would think Eloise was

going to have a-- ridiculous.

Maybe I'd better

call Dr. Johnson.

-This is the only blue

wool I have, Eloise.

I thought it might match.

-Oh, thanks, but-- oh.

Mrs. Gallagher would

have to run out

of the shade I need

at a time like this.

-Well, she said she's

expecting another shipment

and she'll call you as

soon as she gets it.

-Good.

-Dr. Frederick Johnson.

- - .

, , -- Numbers,

numbers, numbers.

[phone ringing]

Hello?

No.

No, she isn't.

Oh, the knit shop?

Yes, yes.

I'll give her a message.

What is it?

You have found a ball

of wool for the what

that she's knitting?

The-- baby booties?

Baby booties.

Baby booties.

Baby booties?

-Hello, John.

Hello?

Dr. Frederick Johnson?

- - ?

Why is Eloise

knitting baby booties?

-You'll find out in due time.

-Oh, this is just dandy.

-If it isn't a dandee,

it isn't a didee.

-What are you talking about?

-Oh, you don't know.

-The husband is

always last to know.

-Know what?

-That Daisy Dairy

delivers certified milk

fresh from the cow to you.

[cow moos]

[cow moos]

-It's a cow!

-No, it's a boy.

-Daddy!

-Dennis!

Dennis.

Dennis.

Dennis!

-Mr. Wilson!

Mr. Wilson, are you all right?

I looked in the window and I

saw you lying on the floor!

What happened?

-I-- I don't know.

I-- I was on the

telephone, and-- the woman

from the knit shop!

-About the wool for the

booties Mrs. Wilson's knitting?

-What do you know about them?

-Aw, maybe I better

not say anything.

It might be part

of the surprise.

-I hate surprises!

-Now John, what are

you talking about?

-About what you are knitting.

-Dennis.

-Now don't blame Dennis.

The woman from knit shop called.

Eloise, why didn't you tell me?

-I wanted it to be a surprise.

-Believe me, it's the greatest

surprise I've ever had.

-Oh, I'm glad you like the idea.

-Like it?

I love it!

-Oh!

It was Dr. Johnson's idea.

He thought it would

be a good thing.

-Dr. Johnson's i-- oh.

Oh, by the way, he

telephoned and said

everything's been

arranged at the hospital.

-Oh, did he say anything else?

-No.

-Good.

Then you don't know about

the rest of the surprise.

-No, I-- Eloise, what do you

mean, the rest of the surprise?

-You'll find out.

-Oh, Eloise.

-Mr. Wilson, any time

you need a babysitter,

I'll give you a special rate.

-Thank you, Dennis.

Thank you.

Look.

Baby booties.

Aren't they cute?

Look at those adorable bows.

-Wait till you see

the other pair.

-What other pair?

-Mrs. Wilson's

knitting two pair.

That's why she needed more wool.

-Two pairs of baby booties?

Rest of the surprise.

Twins!

[thud]

-Mr. Wilson!

-Twins.

Twins, oh, no.

No.

No!

I-- Doc, what are

you doing here?

-Eloise called me.

We had to carry you upstairs.

You let her carry me?

-Well, I couldn't do it myself.

I told you to go on a diet.

Roll over.

-You're-- what are you going to

do with that knitting needle?

Er, hypodermic needle?

-Roll over.

-Oh.

Doc?

Doc, when is it going to happen?

-Right now.

-No, I don't mean that.

I mean-- [yells]

-That didn't hurt, did it?

-Doc, I-- I want to talk to you.

-Not now.

-But Doc.

-No talking.

-Doc!

-Later.

Right now I want you

to get some sleep.

-Oh, that miserable-- ooh!

Oh!

-Oh, I'm glad he's

all right, Eloise.

Oh, by the way, I thought

your idea was so cute

that I decided to knit some

covers for Henry's golf clubs,

too.

Mm-hm.

Bye.

-Hey, Mom?

ALICE MITCHELL

(OFFSCREEN): In here, dear.

-Say, Mom, I--

-What do you want, Dennis?

-Nothing, Mom.

See you later!

[door slams]

-There you are, Dennis.

You made quite a

haul today-- $ .

-Yeah, business is booming.

-What do you hope it'll be?

A brother or sister?

-It doesn't make any

difference to me. $ is $ .

Now I can get Mr. Wilson

a good birthday present!

Bye, Mr. Fleckner.

-Bye.

[doorbell rings]

ALICE MITCHELL

(OFFSCREEN): Henry,

could you please

see who that is?

-OK, honey.

-Hi, Mr. Mitchell.

-Uh, hi.

-You don't remember me?

-Well, I'm sorry, I--

oh, Dandee Didee Service.

-That's right, Mr. Fleckner.

--[laughs] I don't know

how I could forget you.

Why, until you came by

to sell us your service,

I didn't even know I was

going to become a father.

-Happens all the time.

-Well, it's good to see you.

What can I do for you?

-Oh, it's not what

you can do for me.

It's what I can do

for you-- give you

the best service in town.

-Well, fine, but what do

I need your service for?

-You don't know?

-Know what?

-Oh!

I've done it again.

Here's my car.

Tell Mrs. Mitchell to

call when she needs us.

-Done it again?

Dandee Didee Service!

Oh!

[thud]

-What is it, Doctor?

-Looks like the same

thing John Wilson has.

Must be some kind of

a virus going around.

-It isn't a virus.

-Take it easy, Henry.

You'll be all right.

Oh, gosh, I've got to

pick up that spaghetti

before the market closes.

See you at the

party later, Alice.

-All right, Doctor,

thank you for coming.

-Alice--

-Henry, you heard

what the doctor said.

-Alice, why didn't you tell me?

-Tell you what?

-A fine thing, just

like the last time.

I had to find it out from

the didee service man.

-Find out what?

-That I'm about to

become a father.

-Oh dear, I'd better

get the doctor.

Henry, where on Earth did

you get an idea like that?

-Well, I told you,

the didee service man.

-Well, then where did he

get an idea like that?

-Hi, Mom.

Hi, Dad.

Boy, look what I got

Mr. Wilson-- a box

of cigars for his birthday.

Boy, they sure cost a lot.

$ .

-$ ?

-Yeah.

Now I'll have to start

saving to get you a box.

-Dennis, where did you get $ ?

-From Mr. Fleckner,

the didee service man.

He pays you for leads.

-Then you gave him our name.

-Yes, sir.

-Why?

-Well, you were

knitting a bootie,

an Tommy told me that

his mother always

knits a bootie just before

they have a new baby.

-Oh, no.

-So I told Mr. Fleckner, and

he paid me $ for the lead.

-But where did you

get the other $ ?

-I gave him another lead.

-Who?

-Mrs. Wilson.

-Oh, no!

-Oh!

What gave Dennis the idea

that Eloise was having a baby?

-It was all in his imagination.

Eloise was knitting booties,

but they weren't really

baby booties.

They just looked

like baby booties.

-But what were they?

-Baby booties.

-Yeah, and whenever Tommy's

mother knits baby booties--

-Dennis.

-Let me show you.

Now see?

Baby bootie.

One of John Wilson's

new golf clubs.

Put baby bootie on golf club.

Presto, we have a

golf club cover.

-Say, that's a clever idea.

-I thought so too.

That's why I decided to start

knitting a set for your clubs.

-Gee, now I'll have

to return the cigars

and give Mr. Fleckner

his money back.

-I'm afraid you will, Dennis.

-You see, Dennis,

that's what comes

from jumping to conclusions.

I hope you've learned

something from this.

-I sure have.

You just can't

depend on grown-ups.

-Oh!

[laughter]

-Oh no!

-That's exactly what I said.

-Oh, poor John.

No wonder he fainted.

-Well, a lot of

men react that way.

-You didn't?

-I had a virus.

You heard what the doctor said.

-Oh, poor John.

Oh, I hate to think of

breaking the news to him when

he wakes up.

-He's still sleeping?

-Like a baby.

I'd better not use that word.

[laughter]

-Hi.

MRS. WILSON (OFFSCREEN):

Oh, good, you made it.

-Got the pasta, folks.

How you feeling, Henry?

-Fine, thanks.

-John's still asleep, Doctor?

-We'll wake him up

after everybody comes.

It's going to be

a real surprise.

-In more ways than one.

-Now come on, let's get

the spaghetti started!

-Well, what do you need?

-Well, first, a big pot.

-Right.

HENRY MITCHELL (OFFSCREEN): Can

I do anything to help you, Doc?

DR. JOHNSON

(OFFSCREEN): Yes, help

me move this table

under the light

so I can see what I'm doing.

This is a very

delicate operation.

MRS. WILSON (OFFSCREEN):

How's this, Doctor?

-No, no.

Oh, I should have

brought along my nurse.

She always knows

exactly what to do.

Alice, make sure you get

a big pot, the biggest

one you can find.

We need a lot of boiling water.

Hurry!

-Just put in the candles.

Don't sample.

-Where are the canned tomatoes?

-Oh, right over here.

-Hi, everybody.

-Hello, dear.

-Where's Mr. Wilson?

-He's asleep.

-I wanted to give him

his birthday present.

-I thought you returned

those cigars, son.

-I did, and I gave Mr.

Fleckner his money back.

And he gave me this to give

Mr. Wilson for his birthday

'cause they just

had eight of them.

-Eight of what?

-Of these.

-[gasp] Oh, isn't it adorable?

And so tiny!

-Oh, let me hold it.

-Is it a boy or a girl?

DR. JOHNSON

(OFFSCREEN): It's a boy.

MRS. WILSON (OFFSCREEN):

Look at those soulful eyes.

They remind me of John.

DR. JOHNSON

(OFFSCREEN): He looks

like a healthy little character.

HENRY MITCHELL

(OFFSCREEN): He's sure

going to look funny when

he starts walking around

the neighborhood with

those big floppy ears

dragging on the ground.

[thud]

-Hi, Mr. Wilson!

How was the party?

Were you surprised?

-I certainly was when

I woke up this morning

and found that Dr. Johnson

had given me a sh*t

and I slept through

the whole thing.

On my stomach.

-Didn't you even get

any birthday cake?

-No, no, I didn't.

But I see you did.

-Yeah, Mrs. Wilson

just gave me a piece.

-Dennis, I want to thank you

for that wonderful birthday

present.

Gee, he sure is cute.

-Yeah, I'm sorry I couldn't

give you the present

that I wanted to,

but I had to give

Mr. Fleckner the money back.

-I understand.

And I'm sorry I

couldn't cooperate.

-Me too.

The man said they

were real good cigars.

-I don't doubt it.

And I would've been

proud to give them out.

-You could have given them

in honor of your new puppy.

-Well, a puppy isn't quite

the same thing, Dennis.

-Well, don't feel

bad, Mr. Wilson.

It isn't as if you

don't have any children.

I live right next door.

-That's right.

So you do.

And if I had a son, I want him

to be just like you, Dennis.

Dennis!

If you ever come in this

yard again-- Chocolate.

[laughter]

[theme music]