04x17 - Dennis, the Rain Maker
Posted: 11/13/23 06:35
[music playing]
-And I'd give anything
if there were just
some way I could get out of it.
-Gee, dad, if you don't want to
play golf with your boss today,
why don't you just tell him so?
-It isn't that simple
when it's your boss, dear.
-No, I'm afraid I'm stuck, son.
But I'd give $ for a
good, hard rainstorm today.
-$ ?
-Who wouldn't?
Everybody's crying
about the drought.
-I've got an idea.
Me and Tommy will handle
this for you, dad.
-Oh, you will, will you?
-Yeah You see, what
we'll do, we'll
go over to your
bosses house right
now and turn the hose
on all his windows.
He'll think it's raining
and go back to bed,
and Tommy and I
will split the $ .
-Dennis!
Dennis, come back here!
[theme music]
-This is it, Eloise.
This is the fabulous
art treasure
that's going to make a big
man at my old alma mater.
-Well, good for you.
-A gift from me to
the College museum.
-You mean you've already
promised it to them?
But you don't even
own that thing yet.
What if Mrs. Schooner
won't to sell it to you?
-Don't you worry
about Mrs. Schooner.
I have a plan for her that is--
DENNIS (OFFSCREEN): Mr. Wilson!
Well, hi, Mrs. Wilson.
-Hello, dear.
-Hey, Mr. Wilson.
Do you have any ideas
how dad could get out
playing golf with
his boss today?
-That's a little out of my line.
-Because he said he'd
give $ to get out of it.
-Well, I'd like to see
you got the money, but I--
-But dad said if
it would only rain.
But heck, it hasn't
rained for weeks.
-I don't think there's
much chance of that.
-Thanks, anyway, Mr. Wilson.
-Dennis.
Uh, here's something that
might keep you out of my hair--
uh, help you make that $ .
--"Indian Rain Dance."
Oh, boy!
Do you think us kids
can make it work?
-Why not?
The Indians did all the time.
-Hey.
Hey, it's got pictures
and everything.
-All you have to do is
follow the directions.
It's all right in there.
-Say, maybe we could.
-Sure, sure.
You just get your
little friends together
on the far side
of town someplace,
and, uh, don't give
up till it rains.
-You bet, Mr. Wilson.
And if we have any
trouble, I'll be back!
-Oh, no, Dennis!
No, no!
No, Dennis, not that!
Dennis!
-Hey, Tommy!
Guess how we can make that $ !
-Well!
Uh, Wilson?
Mr. Wilson?
-Eh?
-Addison Brock from
our old alma mater.
-Oh!
Oh, Mr. Brock.
I wasn't expecting
you until tomorrow.
Well, come on in, come on in.
[music playing]
-Read it, Mrs. Wilson.
Go on, to it.
-"One of only three known
examples of pottery from
the extinct Waukenagen Indian
tribes of early North America."
-And this is the fourth,
undiscovered until now.
-"A hallmark of this ancient
tribe's art is the distinctive
decoration which
archaeologists agree
show strong oriental influence."
-Oh, this is a splendid
gesture, Mr. Wilson.
As head of the awards committee
your Alumni Association,
I proudly salute a loyal
son of dear old Bedford U.
-Thank you, Mr.
Brock, thank you.
The moment I saw
this rare antique,
my first thought
was my alma mater.
-The awards committee
meets tonight, Mr. Wilson,
to name the alumnus of the year.
I intend to nominate you.
-Me?
Oh, I don't-- I-- Eloise,
did you hear that?
Me, alumnus of the year.
-Well, that's fine,
dear, but don't you
think you ought to buy it first?
-Now I'll fly back
this afternoon,
and by-- b-b-b-buy it?
You mean this isn't yours?
-It belongs to a Mrs.
Schooner here in town.
Now, don't you
worry about a thing.
-Oh.
Well, for a moment there--
-You just go back to
the hotel and relax.
Mrs. Schooner is coming
over here at o'clock.
By : , this rare antique
will belong to Bedford U.
-A give from our beloved John
Wilson, alumnus of the year.
Good man, John.
o'clock.
Goodbye.
-Goodbye, Mr. Brock.
-Goodbye.
-John, what makes you
think Mrs. Schooner's going
to part with a valuable
antique like that?
-Because, my pet, she
doesn't know it's valuable.
-Do you mean to tell
me that Mrs. Schooner--
-Hasn't the faintest idea.
-Oh, I see.
-Besides, I'm doing
her a tremendous favor.
I told her I'd write an
article on her extensive Indian
collection and send it
to a national magazine.
I'm taking a
picture on our patio
this afternoon to
send along with it.
-Do you think a
national magazine
would be interested in
an article about her?
-Well, of course they wouldn't.
But Mrs. Schooner
think they would,
and that's why she will sell
me this urn for peanuts.
-John, I think that's
a pretty shabby trick.
-All's fair in love
and w*r, Eloise,
and I would love to be
named alumnus of the year.
-See, dad?
-So you boys are
going to make it
rain and get out of
my golf game, huh?
-We sure are.
We're going to get the
kids together right now.
-and get our Indian clothes on.
-Good.
I don't have to be
out there till : .
That'll give you
three hours to do it.
-That ought to be time enough.
-Heck, yes.
You better get that
$ ready, dad.
We're gonna dance up a storm.
Come on, Tommy!
[music playing]
-You need more red streaks
on his jaws, Margaret.
Come on, more red
right along there.
-Dennis, if I'm going to
be the makeup woman here,
you'll have to quit
interrupting my work.
-But you're not doing it right.
Here, look at the pictures.
This is the way
rain dancers look.
-That's not the way you look.
-I'm the medicine man, Seymour.
-Where's your pills?
-Medicine men don't have pills.
-Cough syrup?
-Of course not.
They're just called
medicine men because-- oh,
finish painting him, Margaret.
I'm busy.
Are you all set, now, Indians?
-Yep, we're all ready, Dennis.
-Come on over here, Seymour.
Now listen, Indians.
We want to do this
dance exactly right,
just like it ways
in Mr. Wilson's book
here, because my dad needs
a hard rain real bad.
-Frankly, I think you're
just wasting your time.
My mother says it won't
rain for a whole month.
-Is your mom an Indian?
-Of course not.
-Then what does
she know about it?
-That's telling her.
-I don't think it's
ever gonna rain.
-Jeepers, who's side are
you on anyhow, Seymour?
Come on, g*ng, let's get
some stuff of this bag.
-Boy, you sure got some
neat stuff in here, Dennis.
-Yeah, I got everything
the book called
for to make it rain
except one thing,
and I'm kind of
worried about it.
I haven't got any sagebrush.
-Sagebrush?
-Yeah.
It says, "The Zuni rain dancers
carried clumps of sagebrush
which they waved to
appease the rain god."
-I know where there's
lots of sagebrush, Dennis.
-You do?
Oh boy, where, Margaret?
Where?
-Out west.
-Think you're smart, don't ya?
-Why don't you go
home, you big squaw?
-Yeah, go home, Margaret.
Come on, g*ng.
We better start the dance
on Mr. Wilson's patio
because if anything goes wrong,
he knows all about rain making,
and maybe he can help us.
Come on, Indians.
-John?
John Wilson, you come out here!
-Yes, yes, what is it, Eloise?
-John, you promised
me last week you'd
cut down those awful
weeds by the garage.
They're disgraceful.
Now how can I plant bulbs there?
-Now, I cannot be
bothered with that now.
Mrs. Schooner's coming
over in a little while,
and I have to be on
my toes or I may not
be able to buy
that pot from her.
[gate opening]
-Hi, Mr. Wilson.
Hi, Mrs. Wilson.
-Dennis, I thought you
were often making rain?
-I'm afraid we hit
a snag, Mr. Wilson.
-Snag?
What went wrong?
Maybe you weren't
far enough away.
-Do you think it'll
work without sagebrush?
-I don't know, Dennis.
You'll just have to try.
Now hurry it up,
will you fellas?
I have some company coming.
Sagebrush?
Did you say sagebrush?
I have a perfect substitute
for sagebrush, Dennis.
-You do?
Oh boy, what, Mr. Wilsons?
What?
-Right over beside
my garage there
is a splendid bunch
of very fine weeds.
-Weeds?
-John Wilson!
-Um, I-- I've been saving them.
Now all you young braves have
to do is go and pull them up.
-I don't think weeds would work
for a rain dance, Mr. Wilson.
You see, in the
book here, it says--
-Dennis, believe me, you'll get
just as much rain with weeds
as you will with real sagebrush.
Now run along.
Help yourselves.
Take them all.
-Gee, thanks a lot, Mr. Wilson.
I'm sure glad we've got
you to help us, Mr. Wilson.
Come on.
[music playing]
-Now, Mr. Crowley, why don't you
set up your camera over there?
Uh, Mrs. Schooner
will be along shortly.
Now, you just make
yourself comfortable.
-Fine.
You call the sh*ts,
I'll take 'em.
[children yelling]
-We're all set, Mr. Wilson!
We got 'em!
We got 'em!
-Well, good.
Fine.
-We're all set now, Mr. Wilson.
We got every single weed.
-This one didn't want to
come up, but I got it.
-My prize aster.
Oh, no!
I--
-Seymour, that's not a weed.
Now you go put that back.
-Never mind, never mind.
Boys, why don't you go
to the other side of town
like we said and
do the rain dance?
I'm expecting--
-Oh, we'll do it
right here first,
Mr. Wilson, in case we
do anything else wrong.
Come on, fellas, line up.
Oh, great rain chief
Aquamoki, bring us rain!
[whooping]
-Little boys, go away,
let it rain another day.
-He's right out here.
-Oh, thank you, Mrs. Wilson.
Hello, Mr. Wilson.
Well, here I am.
-Mrs. Schooner, how
lovely you look.
Oh, my, that dress-- Eloise,
isn't that a charming hat?
-Oh, yes.
I was just admiring it.
-I want to look my prettiest
for the photographer.
[laughing] I'm sure
this picture will
be seen by millions
of your readers.
-Uh, well, whoever reads the
article will see it, all right.
-I'm so excited.
Just imagine, my picture
and a story about me
in a big, national magazine.
Which publication will you
sell it to, Mr. Wilson?
-Uh, well, the one that
wants it most, Mrs. Schooner.
Now, about this piece
of Indian pottery--
-I'm going to let you have it
for just what I paid for it.
-Oh, fine!
-The minute we finish
taking these pictures,
I'll take you out a bill
of sale, and then you'll--
[whooping]
-Dennis!
Boys!
Hold it!
-Charming, delightful.
The tribal rain dance.
-Yes, it's a little noisy, but--
-Hey, did you hear that?
She knew what we were
doing right away.
Do you know about
Indians, Mrs. Schooner?
-Indeed I do, Dennis.
In fact, I have Indian
blood, children.
One of my ancestors
many years ago
was a beautiful
Cherokee princess.
Her name was Princess
Wakatiko-hookatooki.
-What's her last name?
-Maybe Mrs. Schooner
would like to see
a little more of
the dance, boys.
-Oh, I'd love it.
In fact, if I were dressed
for it, I'd join in, too.
I have a lovely ceremonial robe
which belonged to the princess
herself.
-But that must be beautiful.
-All right, boys, one more
circle, and that will be all.
[whooping]
-OK!
All right!
That was very good.
That's enough.
-Are you sure that's
enough, Mr. Wilson?
It isn't even cloudy yet.
-Well, never mind that.
Just step back out of the way.
Mr. Crowley?
Now, if you'll set over
here, Mrs. Schooner.
I think this will
be a very nice spot.
How's that?
-Good, fine.
-Mr. Wilson, maybe
I'd better give you--
-Dennis, just back
up a little bit.
The camera?
-Ah-choo!
Oh, dear, my hay--
hay-- hay-- ah-choo!
-Boy, that was some sneeze.
Here's your hat, Mrs. Schooner.
-Thank you.
My-- my hay fever is back.
I don't know what
brought that on.
I've been so careful.
-There, there, you'll be
all right in a minute.
Now sit down, Mrs. Schooner.
-Yes, Mrs. Schooner, sit down.
-Here we are.
-Oh, no!
Goldenrod!
Get that away from me!
-Great heavens, I didn't
know that was goldenrod!
-Oh!
I have to go home, lie down.
My allergy pills, oh, dear.
-Oh, but Mrs. Schooner, the pot.
I-- I'll make out a
check now, before you go.
-Mr. Wilson, please.
I don't even feel like talking.
-But the pot!
-Mr. Wilson, I think
this silly old Indian pot
means more to you
than my health!
Ah-- ah-- ah-choo!
Oh, dear!
-Oh, what a mess this whole
thing has turned out to be.
-Sure has.
All that work and it
didn't rain a drop.
[music playing]
-And I'm sorry we couldn't
make it rain for you dad.
We-- ow!
Leave me some
skin, mom, will ya?
-You're not losing any skin.
Now hold still.
-We tried our best
to earn that $ ,
but it just wouldn't
work without sagebrush.
-Well, thanks anyway.
Honey, I'm going to
have to leave shortly.
-You wouldn't want to pay me
$ just for trying, would you?
-No, I really wouldn't.
-That's what I figured.
-There, you can run along now.
-OK, mom.
I think I'll go over in
the park and play a while.
Bye, mom.
Bye, dad.
[phone ringing]
-Hello?
Oh.
Oh, yes, Mr. Trask.
What's that?
Oh, well, I'm terribly sorry.
Maybe another time.
Right.
Goodbye.
-Good news?
-Hah hah!
The boss can't play after all.
He said, I'm sorry,
something else has come up.
Yahoo!
-He should see how
heart broken you are.
-What a break.
I'll get my regular game in
with Chuck Hillman after all.
[music playing]
-You figure that's why we didn't
make it rain, huh, Dennis?
-It's got to be why, Tommy.
We didn't have any sagebrush.
We did everything
else the book said.
-Hey, fellas.
How come you're not
Indians anymore?
-We kind of gave
that up, Mr. Crowley.
-Well, how would you
like to earn yourselves
a super duper, double dip,
gourmet's delight ice cream
soda?
-Wow!
What do have to do?
-I'll do it.
-Cranky wants a picture of
your rain dance for the paper.
-Our picture in the paper?
-Yeah, you know,
"Year's Biggest Drought,
Local Indians
Appeal To Rain God."
-Oh, boy!
Swell!
-Get the other kids.
Get back into your
Indian get up and meet me
back here in an hour, OK?
-OK!
And hey, I got a new idea
for sagebrush, Tommy.
We might make it
rain for dad yet.
Come on!
[music playing]
-Uh, goodbye.
Oh, I just talked to Brock.
He's postponing the
awards committee meeting
until midnight.
-Midnight?
-Yes.
He has to fly out of here
at o'clock, pot or no pot.
-So far, your pot luck
hasn't been too good today.
-Well, by George, he is
not going without that pot.
I'm going to see Mrs.
Schooner right now.
-Now dear, what
good will that do?
She told you she won't even
talk about it until after you
take the pictures tomorrow.
-I'm going to take
the picture today.
I have an idea for a
special kind of picture
that that gushy old biddy
won't be able to resist.
-Yes, I have am feeling
a little better thanks
to my allergy pills.
Oh, it is so dreadful.
-Oh, I know, I know.
I wouldn't trouble
you like this,
but I have an idea
for your picture
that I think is wonderful.
-Oh?
-You mentioned that you
have the ceremonial robes
of your ancestor, Princess--
-Wakatiko, yes.
Oh, I have a lovely
beaded buckskin that she--
-Mrs. Schooner,
would you consider
posing for your picture in the
original, authentic ceremonial
robes of your beautiful
princess ancestor?
-Me?
In the-- oh, my.
Oh, that is a charming idea.
[laughing] She was a
beautiful woman, Mr. Wilson.
-I know you look
exactly like her.
-[laughing] You are a flatterer.
But it-- it would be
an interesting picture.
-But we will have to
take it this afternoon.
My publisher has
given me a deadline
on the pot-- uh, the picture.
-Deadline?
-Yes.
If we don't get
the picture today,
I'm afraid the--
the article is out.
-Oh, dear.
My, I I-- I'll do
it, Mr. Wilson.
I'll do it.
-Good!
Good!
-And Mr. Wilson, I have
an idea, a fabulous idea.
Wait right here.
I'm going upstairs and
bring you something.
Oh, this will be exciting.
[laughing]
-I got it!
I got it!
It's sage, like mom uses in
the turkey for Thanksgiving.
-Yeah, sage dressing.
-I figure if we got
some brushes with sage
on it, that's kind
of sagebrush, right?
-Yeah, I guess it's kind
of like sage, Dennis.
-Hi, fellas.
-Hi.
-Hi, Mr. Crowley.
-I just got a hurry-up
call from Mr. Wilson.
I got to go take a
sh*t of Mrs. Schooner.
Come on, I'll take your
picture over there.
[yelling]
-Here I come!
How.
Princess
Wakatiko-hookatooki give
to Big Chief Talking Buffalo.
-Thank you, oh princess.
Here heap much
wampum for you, too.
--[laughing] I can't
get over how Indian
he looks in that costume.
Talking Buffalo himself.
-Oh, he's a talker, all right.
-Here we are, fellas.
Mister and Missus Wilson.
-Hello, Mr. Crowley.
-I'll get the pictures here.
-Boy, look at those costumes.
And Mr. Wilson!
-What are you boys doing here.
-We came to do our rain
dance again for Mr. Crowley.
-Cranky wants a picture of it.
-Oh, don't worry, Mrs. Schooner.
We threw away those
old sneeze weeds.
Boy, doesn't Mr.
Wilson look great?
-Magnificent.
He's dressed as my ancestor,
Chief Talking Buffalo.
-He sure doesn't
look like a buffalo.
-He sure smells like one.
[laughter]
-All right, boys, not
just back out of the way.
Mrs. Schooner and I are
going to pose for pictures.
Now then--
-Wait a minute, Mr. Wilson.
I have a fabulous idea.
Dennis, how would you like for
princess Wakatiko and Chief
Talking Buffalo to join
in your rain dance?
-Oh, boy!
Terrific!
Mr. Wilson knows all
about rain dancing.
Come on, g*ng, line up now.
Oh, great rain chief Auqamoki,
we got a new kind of sagebrush.
Bring us rain!
[whooping]
-Rain!
Rain!
We want rain!
[whooping]
-I think it'll work
this time, Mr. Wilson.
We'll get dad out of
that golf game yet!
-Oh, Dennis, for heaven's sake!
-Rain!
Rain!
Bring dad rain! $ rain!
Bring dad rain! $ rain!
Rain!
Rain!
-So he says to me, "Mitchell,
what's your handicap?"
I said, "Two left
feet, what's yours?"
-Hey!
That's funny, two left feet.
Yeah!
[whooping]
-Dennis!
I guess we failed again.
-Well, we're just
gonna keep trying.
[whooping]
[thunder]
-We did it!
We did it after all, Tommy!
We made it rain!
-Whoopee!
-Will miracles never cease?
[music playing]
[thunder]
-Don't look so glum, Henry.
We need the rain.
-I know.
Just this morning,
Dennis was saying
he was going to-- I wonder?
-Huh?
What's that?
-Oh, nothing.
-Oh, Mr. Brock!
-Mrs. Wilson I came
as fast as I could.
I could have gotten
her sooner, but it's
raining cats and
bucketsful out there.
-Yes, we noticed that.
-Thank you.
-I sure wish it would stop so
I could go home and get my $ .
-There it is.
-To Bedford University form
her loyal son, John Wilson.
-Oh, this is an historic moment.
I've been on the phone.
The whole college is alerted.
The awards committee
is all poised
to name you, "John Wilson,
Alumnus Of The Year."
-Boy, this sounds exciting.
Is that pot valuable
or something?
-Why, Dennis, this pot was
made by the Waukenagen Indians.
It's probably years old.
-Jeepers, how can
you tell all that?
-Well, the Waukenagens used
a very distinctive design
in their pottery.
-And this is it.
It shows a definite
oriental influence.
-Hey, what's this on the bottom?
There's something--
-Where?
Where?
Where?
Where?
-Right there.
-Why, there is something there.
-Oh, yes.
The rain must have washed
some of the pigment off.
I-- Eloise, if some ancient
craftsmen put his mark
on the bottom of this pot,
it really is a treasure.
Get me the magnifying glass.
-Oh, I can read it, Mr. Wilson.
-Oh?
-It says, "Made in Japan."
-What!
Oh, no!
-Oh, no!
-Oh, yes.
[music playing]
-And I'd give anything
if there were just
some way I could get out of it.
-Gee, dad, if you don't want to
play golf with your boss today,
why don't you just tell him so?
-It isn't that simple
when it's your boss, dear.
-No, I'm afraid I'm stuck, son.
But I'd give $ for a
good, hard rainstorm today.
-$ ?
-Who wouldn't?
Everybody's crying
about the drought.
-I've got an idea.
Me and Tommy will handle
this for you, dad.
-Oh, you will, will you?
-Yeah You see, what
we'll do, we'll
go over to your
bosses house right
now and turn the hose
on all his windows.
He'll think it's raining
and go back to bed,
and Tommy and I
will split the $ .
-Dennis!
Dennis, come back here!
[theme music]
-This is it, Eloise.
This is the fabulous
art treasure
that's going to make a big
man at my old alma mater.
-Well, good for you.
-A gift from me to
the College museum.
-You mean you've already
promised it to them?
But you don't even
own that thing yet.
What if Mrs. Schooner
won't to sell it to you?
-Don't you worry
about Mrs. Schooner.
I have a plan for her that is--
DENNIS (OFFSCREEN): Mr. Wilson!
Well, hi, Mrs. Wilson.
-Hello, dear.
-Hey, Mr. Wilson.
Do you have any ideas
how dad could get out
playing golf with
his boss today?
-That's a little out of my line.
-Because he said he'd
give $ to get out of it.
-Well, I'd like to see
you got the money, but I--
-But dad said if
it would only rain.
But heck, it hasn't
rained for weeks.
-I don't think there's
much chance of that.
-Thanks, anyway, Mr. Wilson.
-Dennis.
Uh, here's something that
might keep you out of my hair--
uh, help you make that $ .
--"Indian Rain Dance."
Oh, boy!
Do you think us kids
can make it work?
-Why not?
The Indians did all the time.
-Hey.
Hey, it's got pictures
and everything.
-All you have to do is
follow the directions.
It's all right in there.
-Say, maybe we could.
-Sure, sure.
You just get your
little friends together
on the far side
of town someplace,
and, uh, don't give
up till it rains.
-You bet, Mr. Wilson.
And if we have any
trouble, I'll be back!
-Oh, no, Dennis!
No, no!
No, Dennis, not that!
Dennis!
-Hey, Tommy!
Guess how we can make that $ !
-Well!
Uh, Wilson?
Mr. Wilson?
-Eh?
-Addison Brock from
our old alma mater.
-Oh!
Oh, Mr. Brock.
I wasn't expecting
you until tomorrow.
Well, come on in, come on in.
[music playing]
-Read it, Mrs. Wilson.
Go on, to it.
-"One of only three known
examples of pottery from
the extinct Waukenagen Indian
tribes of early North America."
-And this is the fourth,
undiscovered until now.
-"A hallmark of this ancient
tribe's art is the distinctive
decoration which
archaeologists agree
show strong oriental influence."
-Oh, this is a splendid
gesture, Mr. Wilson.
As head of the awards committee
your Alumni Association,
I proudly salute a loyal
son of dear old Bedford U.
-Thank you, Mr.
Brock, thank you.
The moment I saw
this rare antique,
my first thought
was my alma mater.
-The awards committee
meets tonight, Mr. Wilson,
to name the alumnus of the year.
I intend to nominate you.
-Me?
Oh, I don't-- I-- Eloise,
did you hear that?
Me, alumnus of the year.
-Well, that's fine,
dear, but don't you
think you ought to buy it first?
-Now I'll fly back
this afternoon,
and by-- b-b-b-buy it?
You mean this isn't yours?
-It belongs to a Mrs.
Schooner here in town.
Now, don't you
worry about a thing.
-Oh.
Well, for a moment there--
-You just go back to
the hotel and relax.
Mrs. Schooner is coming
over here at o'clock.
By : , this rare antique
will belong to Bedford U.
-A give from our beloved John
Wilson, alumnus of the year.
Good man, John.
o'clock.
Goodbye.
-Goodbye, Mr. Brock.
-Goodbye.
-John, what makes you
think Mrs. Schooner's going
to part with a valuable
antique like that?
-Because, my pet, she
doesn't know it's valuable.
-Do you mean to tell
me that Mrs. Schooner--
-Hasn't the faintest idea.
-Oh, I see.
-Besides, I'm doing
her a tremendous favor.
I told her I'd write an
article on her extensive Indian
collection and send it
to a national magazine.
I'm taking a
picture on our patio
this afternoon to
send along with it.
-Do you think a
national magazine
would be interested in
an article about her?
-Well, of course they wouldn't.
But Mrs. Schooner
think they would,
and that's why she will sell
me this urn for peanuts.
-John, I think that's
a pretty shabby trick.
-All's fair in love
and w*r, Eloise,
and I would love to be
named alumnus of the year.
-See, dad?
-So you boys are
going to make it
rain and get out of
my golf game, huh?
-We sure are.
We're going to get the
kids together right now.
-and get our Indian clothes on.
-Good.
I don't have to be
out there till : .
That'll give you
three hours to do it.
-That ought to be time enough.
-Heck, yes.
You better get that
$ ready, dad.
We're gonna dance up a storm.
Come on, Tommy!
[music playing]
-You need more red streaks
on his jaws, Margaret.
Come on, more red
right along there.
-Dennis, if I'm going to
be the makeup woman here,
you'll have to quit
interrupting my work.
-But you're not doing it right.
Here, look at the pictures.
This is the way
rain dancers look.
-That's not the way you look.
-I'm the medicine man, Seymour.
-Where's your pills?
-Medicine men don't have pills.
-Cough syrup?
-Of course not.
They're just called
medicine men because-- oh,
finish painting him, Margaret.
I'm busy.
Are you all set, now, Indians?
-Yep, we're all ready, Dennis.
-Come on over here, Seymour.
Now listen, Indians.
We want to do this
dance exactly right,
just like it ways
in Mr. Wilson's book
here, because my dad needs
a hard rain real bad.
-Frankly, I think you're
just wasting your time.
My mother says it won't
rain for a whole month.
-Is your mom an Indian?
-Of course not.
-Then what does
she know about it?
-That's telling her.
-I don't think it's
ever gonna rain.
-Jeepers, who's side are
you on anyhow, Seymour?
Come on, g*ng, let's get
some stuff of this bag.
-Boy, you sure got some
neat stuff in here, Dennis.
-Yeah, I got everything
the book called
for to make it rain
except one thing,
and I'm kind of
worried about it.
I haven't got any sagebrush.
-Sagebrush?
-Yeah.
It says, "The Zuni rain dancers
carried clumps of sagebrush
which they waved to
appease the rain god."
-I know where there's
lots of sagebrush, Dennis.
-You do?
Oh boy, where, Margaret?
Where?
-Out west.
-Think you're smart, don't ya?
-Why don't you go
home, you big squaw?
-Yeah, go home, Margaret.
Come on, g*ng.
We better start the dance
on Mr. Wilson's patio
because if anything goes wrong,
he knows all about rain making,
and maybe he can help us.
Come on, Indians.
-John?
John Wilson, you come out here!
-Yes, yes, what is it, Eloise?
-John, you promised
me last week you'd
cut down those awful
weeds by the garage.
They're disgraceful.
Now how can I plant bulbs there?
-Now, I cannot be
bothered with that now.
Mrs. Schooner's coming
over in a little while,
and I have to be on
my toes or I may not
be able to buy
that pot from her.
[gate opening]
-Hi, Mr. Wilson.
Hi, Mrs. Wilson.
-Dennis, I thought you
were often making rain?
-I'm afraid we hit
a snag, Mr. Wilson.
-Snag?
What went wrong?
Maybe you weren't
far enough away.
-Do you think it'll
work without sagebrush?
-I don't know, Dennis.
You'll just have to try.
Now hurry it up,
will you fellas?
I have some company coming.
Sagebrush?
Did you say sagebrush?
I have a perfect substitute
for sagebrush, Dennis.
-You do?
Oh boy, what, Mr. Wilsons?
What?
-Right over beside
my garage there
is a splendid bunch
of very fine weeds.
-Weeds?
-John Wilson!
-Um, I-- I've been saving them.
Now all you young braves have
to do is go and pull them up.
-I don't think weeds would work
for a rain dance, Mr. Wilson.
You see, in the
book here, it says--
-Dennis, believe me, you'll get
just as much rain with weeds
as you will with real sagebrush.
Now run along.
Help yourselves.
Take them all.
-Gee, thanks a lot, Mr. Wilson.
I'm sure glad we've got
you to help us, Mr. Wilson.
Come on.
[music playing]
-Now, Mr. Crowley, why don't you
set up your camera over there?
Uh, Mrs. Schooner
will be along shortly.
Now, you just make
yourself comfortable.
-Fine.
You call the sh*ts,
I'll take 'em.
[children yelling]
-We're all set, Mr. Wilson!
We got 'em!
We got 'em!
-Well, good.
Fine.
-We're all set now, Mr. Wilson.
We got every single weed.
-This one didn't want to
come up, but I got it.
-My prize aster.
Oh, no!
I--
-Seymour, that's not a weed.
Now you go put that back.
-Never mind, never mind.
Boys, why don't you go
to the other side of town
like we said and
do the rain dance?
I'm expecting--
-Oh, we'll do it
right here first,
Mr. Wilson, in case we
do anything else wrong.
Come on, fellas, line up.
Oh, great rain chief
Aquamoki, bring us rain!
[whooping]
-Little boys, go away,
let it rain another day.
-He's right out here.
-Oh, thank you, Mrs. Wilson.
Hello, Mr. Wilson.
Well, here I am.
-Mrs. Schooner, how
lovely you look.
Oh, my, that dress-- Eloise,
isn't that a charming hat?
-Oh, yes.
I was just admiring it.
-I want to look my prettiest
for the photographer.
[laughing] I'm sure
this picture will
be seen by millions
of your readers.
-Uh, well, whoever reads the
article will see it, all right.
-I'm so excited.
Just imagine, my picture
and a story about me
in a big, national magazine.
Which publication will you
sell it to, Mr. Wilson?
-Uh, well, the one that
wants it most, Mrs. Schooner.
Now, about this piece
of Indian pottery--
-I'm going to let you have it
for just what I paid for it.
-Oh, fine!
-The minute we finish
taking these pictures,
I'll take you out a bill
of sale, and then you'll--
[whooping]
-Dennis!
Boys!
Hold it!
-Charming, delightful.
The tribal rain dance.
-Yes, it's a little noisy, but--
-Hey, did you hear that?
She knew what we were
doing right away.
Do you know about
Indians, Mrs. Schooner?
-Indeed I do, Dennis.
In fact, I have Indian
blood, children.
One of my ancestors
many years ago
was a beautiful
Cherokee princess.
Her name was Princess
Wakatiko-hookatooki.
-What's her last name?
-Maybe Mrs. Schooner
would like to see
a little more of
the dance, boys.
-Oh, I'd love it.
In fact, if I were dressed
for it, I'd join in, too.
I have a lovely ceremonial robe
which belonged to the princess
herself.
-But that must be beautiful.
-All right, boys, one more
circle, and that will be all.
[whooping]
-OK!
All right!
That was very good.
That's enough.
-Are you sure that's
enough, Mr. Wilson?
It isn't even cloudy yet.
-Well, never mind that.
Just step back out of the way.
Mr. Crowley?
Now, if you'll set over
here, Mrs. Schooner.
I think this will
be a very nice spot.
How's that?
-Good, fine.
-Mr. Wilson, maybe
I'd better give you--
-Dennis, just back
up a little bit.
The camera?
-Ah-choo!
Oh, dear, my hay--
hay-- hay-- ah-choo!
-Boy, that was some sneeze.
Here's your hat, Mrs. Schooner.
-Thank you.
My-- my hay fever is back.
I don't know what
brought that on.
I've been so careful.
-There, there, you'll be
all right in a minute.
Now sit down, Mrs. Schooner.
-Yes, Mrs. Schooner, sit down.
-Here we are.
-Oh, no!
Goldenrod!
Get that away from me!
-Great heavens, I didn't
know that was goldenrod!
-Oh!
I have to go home, lie down.
My allergy pills, oh, dear.
-Oh, but Mrs. Schooner, the pot.
I-- I'll make out a
check now, before you go.
-Mr. Wilson, please.
I don't even feel like talking.
-But the pot!
-Mr. Wilson, I think
this silly old Indian pot
means more to you
than my health!
Ah-- ah-- ah-choo!
Oh, dear!
-Oh, what a mess this whole
thing has turned out to be.
-Sure has.
All that work and it
didn't rain a drop.
[music playing]
-And I'm sorry we couldn't
make it rain for you dad.
We-- ow!
Leave me some
skin, mom, will ya?
-You're not losing any skin.
Now hold still.
-We tried our best
to earn that $ ,
but it just wouldn't
work without sagebrush.
-Well, thanks anyway.
Honey, I'm going to
have to leave shortly.
-You wouldn't want to pay me
$ just for trying, would you?
-No, I really wouldn't.
-That's what I figured.
-There, you can run along now.
-OK, mom.
I think I'll go over in
the park and play a while.
Bye, mom.
Bye, dad.
[phone ringing]
-Hello?
Oh.
Oh, yes, Mr. Trask.
What's that?
Oh, well, I'm terribly sorry.
Maybe another time.
Right.
Goodbye.
-Good news?
-Hah hah!
The boss can't play after all.
He said, I'm sorry,
something else has come up.
Yahoo!
-He should see how
heart broken you are.
-What a break.
I'll get my regular game in
with Chuck Hillman after all.
[music playing]
-You figure that's why we didn't
make it rain, huh, Dennis?
-It's got to be why, Tommy.
We didn't have any sagebrush.
We did everything
else the book said.
-Hey, fellas.
How come you're not
Indians anymore?
-We kind of gave
that up, Mr. Crowley.
-Well, how would you
like to earn yourselves
a super duper, double dip,
gourmet's delight ice cream
soda?
-Wow!
What do have to do?
-I'll do it.
-Cranky wants a picture of
your rain dance for the paper.
-Our picture in the paper?
-Yeah, you know,
"Year's Biggest Drought,
Local Indians
Appeal To Rain God."
-Oh, boy!
Swell!
-Get the other kids.
Get back into your
Indian get up and meet me
back here in an hour, OK?
-OK!
And hey, I got a new idea
for sagebrush, Tommy.
We might make it
rain for dad yet.
Come on!
[music playing]
-Uh, goodbye.
Oh, I just talked to Brock.
He's postponing the
awards committee meeting
until midnight.
-Midnight?
-Yes.
He has to fly out of here
at o'clock, pot or no pot.
-So far, your pot luck
hasn't been too good today.
-Well, by George, he is
not going without that pot.
I'm going to see Mrs.
Schooner right now.
-Now dear, what
good will that do?
She told you she won't even
talk about it until after you
take the pictures tomorrow.
-I'm going to take
the picture today.
I have an idea for a
special kind of picture
that that gushy old biddy
won't be able to resist.
-Yes, I have am feeling
a little better thanks
to my allergy pills.
Oh, it is so dreadful.
-Oh, I know, I know.
I wouldn't trouble
you like this,
but I have an idea
for your picture
that I think is wonderful.
-Oh?
-You mentioned that you
have the ceremonial robes
of your ancestor, Princess--
-Wakatiko, yes.
Oh, I have a lovely
beaded buckskin that she--
-Mrs. Schooner,
would you consider
posing for your picture in the
original, authentic ceremonial
robes of your beautiful
princess ancestor?
-Me?
In the-- oh, my.
Oh, that is a charming idea.
[laughing] She was a
beautiful woman, Mr. Wilson.
-I know you look
exactly like her.
-[laughing] You are a flatterer.
But it-- it would be
an interesting picture.
-But we will have to
take it this afternoon.
My publisher has
given me a deadline
on the pot-- uh, the picture.
-Deadline?
-Yes.
If we don't get
the picture today,
I'm afraid the--
the article is out.
-Oh, dear.
My, I I-- I'll do
it, Mr. Wilson.
I'll do it.
-Good!
Good!
-And Mr. Wilson, I have
an idea, a fabulous idea.
Wait right here.
I'm going upstairs and
bring you something.
Oh, this will be exciting.
[laughing]
-I got it!
I got it!
It's sage, like mom uses in
the turkey for Thanksgiving.
-Yeah, sage dressing.
-I figure if we got
some brushes with sage
on it, that's kind
of sagebrush, right?
-Yeah, I guess it's kind
of like sage, Dennis.
-Hi, fellas.
-Hi.
-Hi, Mr. Crowley.
-I just got a hurry-up
call from Mr. Wilson.
I got to go take a
sh*t of Mrs. Schooner.
Come on, I'll take your
picture over there.
[yelling]
-Here I come!
How.
Princess
Wakatiko-hookatooki give
to Big Chief Talking Buffalo.
-Thank you, oh princess.
Here heap much
wampum for you, too.
--[laughing] I can't
get over how Indian
he looks in that costume.
Talking Buffalo himself.
-Oh, he's a talker, all right.
-Here we are, fellas.
Mister and Missus Wilson.
-Hello, Mr. Crowley.
-I'll get the pictures here.
-Boy, look at those costumes.
And Mr. Wilson!
-What are you boys doing here.
-We came to do our rain
dance again for Mr. Crowley.
-Cranky wants a picture of it.
-Oh, don't worry, Mrs. Schooner.
We threw away those
old sneeze weeds.
Boy, doesn't Mr.
Wilson look great?
-Magnificent.
He's dressed as my ancestor,
Chief Talking Buffalo.
-He sure doesn't
look like a buffalo.
-He sure smells like one.
[laughter]
-All right, boys, not
just back out of the way.
Mrs. Schooner and I are
going to pose for pictures.
Now then--
-Wait a minute, Mr. Wilson.
I have a fabulous idea.
Dennis, how would you like for
princess Wakatiko and Chief
Talking Buffalo to join
in your rain dance?
-Oh, boy!
Terrific!
Mr. Wilson knows all
about rain dancing.
Come on, g*ng, line up now.
Oh, great rain chief Auqamoki,
we got a new kind of sagebrush.
Bring us rain!
[whooping]
-Rain!
Rain!
We want rain!
[whooping]
-I think it'll work
this time, Mr. Wilson.
We'll get dad out of
that golf game yet!
-Oh, Dennis, for heaven's sake!
-Rain!
Rain!
Bring dad rain! $ rain!
Bring dad rain! $ rain!
Rain!
Rain!
-So he says to me, "Mitchell,
what's your handicap?"
I said, "Two left
feet, what's yours?"
-Hey!
That's funny, two left feet.
Yeah!
[whooping]
-Dennis!
I guess we failed again.
-Well, we're just
gonna keep trying.
[whooping]
[thunder]
-We did it!
We did it after all, Tommy!
We made it rain!
-Whoopee!
-Will miracles never cease?
[music playing]
[thunder]
-Don't look so glum, Henry.
We need the rain.
-I know.
Just this morning,
Dennis was saying
he was going to-- I wonder?
-Huh?
What's that?
-Oh, nothing.
-Oh, Mr. Brock!
-Mrs. Wilson I came
as fast as I could.
I could have gotten
her sooner, but it's
raining cats and
bucketsful out there.
-Yes, we noticed that.
-Thank you.
-I sure wish it would stop so
I could go home and get my $ .
-There it is.
-To Bedford University form
her loyal son, John Wilson.
-Oh, this is an historic moment.
I've been on the phone.
The whole college is alerted.
The awards committee
is all poised
to name you, "John Wilson,
Alumnus Of The Year."
-Boy, this sounds exciting.
Is that pot valuable
or something?
-Why, Dennis, this pot was
made by the Waukenagen Indians.
It's probably years old.
-Jeepers, how can
you tell all that?
-Well, the Waukenagens used
a very distinctive design
in their pottery.
-And this is it.
It shows a definite
oriental influence.
-Hey, what's this on the bottom?
There's something--
-Where?
Where?
Where?
Where?
-Right there.
-Why, there is something there.
-Oh, yes.
The rain must have washed
some of the pigment off.
I-- Eloise, if some ancient
craftsmen put his mark
on the bottom of this pot,
it really is a treasure.
Get me the magnifying glass.
-Oh, I can read it, Mr. Wilson.
-Oh?
-It says, "Made in Japan."
-What!
Oh, no!
-Oh, no!
-Oh, yes.
[music playing]