04x05 - Poor Mr. Wilson
Posted: 11/13/23 06:24
[doorbell ringing]
-Mr. Wilson!
Mr. Wilson!
Oh hi, Mr. Wilson.
-Yes, Dennis?
-Do you need any work
done around the house?
-Like what and how
much will it cost me?
-Well, burning
leaves, $ . an hour.
-The leaves are
still on the trees.
-I can shake them off
for $ . an hour.
-No thank you.
-How about letting
me wash your car?
-I don't think it needs it.
Well, pretty clever car.
-I'll only charge
you $ , Mr. Wilson.
And I'll do a real good job.
-Well, I don't--
-Remember what you said
the last time I washed it?
-Yes, I do.
I said be sure and roll up the
windows before you hose it off.
-Thanks, Mr. Wilson!
You bet I will!
I sure will!
Bye!
-Uh, weh, uh weh, uh well.
Uh--
[theme music]
-Ugh!
No use, Eloise.
I haven't got the
strength to lift it.
Well, I used to be able to
do that in the old days.
When I got some nourishment.
-Dear, you've only been
on a diet for two days.
-Well, it seems like two weeks.
-You had a good lunch.
-Oh marvelous.
Cup of hot tea and two prunes.
-Two?
There was only one pit
left on your plate.
-Well, I have to
have some solid food.
-Dear, would you move this
table out into the hall for me?
It has to go out to be repaired.
Besides, the
upholsterers are coming
and I want it out of the way.
-Can I get Dennis to help me?
-John, I don't like spring
cleaning any better than you.
-Well you must.
You do it every year.
-John.
-[gasps] John!
-Ah!
Dear my!
Don't sneak up on me like that!
-What are you doing?
Reminiscing
-Put it back.
-Oh, all right.
-There.
The people from the
Uptown Aid Society
are coming to pick this up.
-Oh Eloise!
-I don't know who's suffering
more from this diet, you or me.
Mmm, you have any money?
-Are you going to sell
me something to eat?
-[laughs] No dear.
I just remembered I have to give
the upholsterers a deposit when
they pick up the furniture.
-Oh.
Well, I've got--
-What's the matter?
-There's a hole in my pocket.
-[gasps]
-I've lost all of my money.
Eloise, if you'd spend more
time sewing my clothes instead--
-Where did you lose it?
-Well, I went to the hardware
store, then the drug store.
And I had $ left when I
got to Quigley's Market,
and then I went-- I bet I
lost it at Quigley's Market.
-Call him up.
Maybe somebody found it.
I can give the
upholsterers a check.
-Dennis.
-Yes, Mr. Wilson?
-Never mind.
Well, that's a very
good job, Dennis.
-Thanks, Mr. Wilson.
Would you mind paying me now?
You see, Tommy's coming over--
-Oh certainly, certainly.
Oh, I'm sorry, Dennis.
I forgot.
I'll have to pay you later.
I lost all my money
in the market.
-Well, that's OK.
I'll trust you.
-Well, thank you, Dennis.
I wish all of my creditors were
as understanding as you are.
-See you later, Mr. Wilson.
-All right.
-Boy, it sure is neat.
-Yeah.
It's worth a lot more than $ .
I wouldn't be selling it at all,
except my dad made me give up
model airplanes for
stamp collecting.
-I'll take model
airplanes any day.
-Well, don't start the
motor in the house on Sunday
morning when your
dad's sleeping,
or you'll be
collecting stamps too.
You got the $ ?
-Well, I've got it
but I haven't got it.
-What do you mean?
-Well, I washed
Mr. Wilson's car,
but he couldn't pay me because
he didn't have any money.
-Didn't have any money?
-No.
He lost it in the market.
-Boy, that's tough.
The same thing happened
to my Uncle Fred.
He lost all his money
in the market too.
Buying on margin or something.
-I wonder if that's what
happened to Mr. Wilson?
-Sure, if he lost his money.
Dad said if the market goes
down, you're wiped out.
-Oh, Mr. Wilson's
too smart for that.
-So was my Uncle Fred.
The first thing you
know, he lost his car.
Then his TV set.
And they took away
his furniture!
-Well, that won't
happen to Mr. Wilson.
-On no?
Look!
-Jeepers!
Poor Mr. Wilson.
DENNIS (OFFSCREEN):
But Tommy said--
-Yes, I know what Tommy said.
But just because it
happened to his uncle,
doesn't mean it
happened to Mr. Wilson.
-But he didn't even have $
to pay me for washing his car.
-Mr. Wilson's hardly
the type to risk
everything he has
in the stock market.
-But we saw them take
away his furniture.
-Dennis, don't you think
if anything were wrong,
Mr. Wilson would have
mentioned it to us?
-I don't know, Mom.
Mr. Wilson's a
very sensitive man.
--[laughs] Well, I wouldn't
worry about it if I were--
-But Tommy said--
-Dennis, are you
ready to go downtown
with your mother and me?
-Yes sir.
-Good.
-I've got to run
upstairs and change.
Oh Dennis, will you please
take the pie out of the oven
when the timer bell rings?
-Sure, Mom.
-Why, that used to be my job.
-I know.
No sampling.
-That's how I lost my job.
-Four hours, minutes,
and seconds til dinner.
I don't think I'll make it.
[timer rings]
MR. WILSON (OFFSCREEN):
Psst, psst, psst.
-Oh, Mr. Wilson.
-Dennis, are you alone?
-Yes sir.
-May I come in?
-Sure.
What can I do for
you, Mr. Wilson?
-Oh, why uh, um, uh
nothing, uh Dennis.
Nothing, nothing at all.
I was just sitting on my
patio--oh is that a pie?
-Yeah.
Strawberry.
-Strawberry!
Dennis, do you suppose
your mother would
let you give me
piece of that pie?
-I'll ask her.
-No, no!
Don't ask her.
Dennis, I'm starving.
I haven't had a decent
meal in two days.
-Well, gee.
Come on.
Sit down.
Let's see.
We've got, we've got
some swell pot roast.
-Oh!
John, where have you been?
-Oh uh, I was over visiting
the Mitchells. [singing softly]
-John?
Did you have anything
to eat over there?
-Eat?
Well, how can you ask that?
-You haven't been this
happy in two days.
-Well, maybe I'm lightheaded.
Malnutrition. [singing softly]
-John, are you sure you
didn't have anything to eat?
-Eloise, have you seen
my smoking jacket?
-Oh, it was in that
bundle of things
I gave to the Aid Society.
-You did what?
-Well dear, it was
practically in shreds.
-Eloise!
You know how attached
I was to that jacket.
-Well dear, buy
yourself a new one.
-Well, I liked the old one.
-Then you'll just
have to get it back.
-Don't think I won't.
Uh, what was the
name of that place?
-The Uptown Aid Society.
-Where is it?
-Downtown.
-What's the Uptown Aid
Society doing downtown?
-Well, it was uptown
when they built it.
-Oh.
I'll find it.
-John, I apologize.
-Well, you should.
Giving away my favorite jacket!
-Oh no, not that.
For suspecting you of
having had anything to eat.
You're still your same
grumpy old hungry self.
-We'll have to stop at
Quigley's on the way home.
I think we're all out of milk.
-Oh.
Looks like you're
out of everything.
-Well that's funny.
There was a half a
pot roast in there.
-And what happened to that pie?
-I can't imagine.
-Hi Mom, hi Dad.
You all ready?
-Dennis, what happened to all
the food that was in here?
-And the pie?
-Do I have to tell you?
-Well, we'd like to know.
-Well, Mr. Wilson ate it.
-Uh, uh, our Mr.
Wilson next door?
-Yes, sir.
He was starving.
-But Dennis, if Mr. Wilson was
here, why didn't you call us?
-He wouldn't let me.
I told you, he's
a sensitive man.
-Come along, young man.
We'll discuss this
on the way downtown.
-But Dad!
-Never mind.
-Hey, where you going, Jack?
-Why, inside.
-What are you, a privileged
character or something?
-Yeah!
Get in line!
-What for?
I'm just going to get
my smoking jacket.
-Smoking jacket?
How 'bout that, [inaudible]?
-Do tell.
I'm getting fitted
for a tuxedo myself.
Going twisting tonight with Liz.
-Now look here--
-Hey hey, wise guy, if
you want fried chicken,
get in line like everybody else.
-I just want to
go-- fried chicken?
-Yeah.
That's the speciality
of the house.
-Well, fried chicken!
-We'll save you a finger bone!
-Smoking jacket!
-Hey!
There's Mr. Wilson!
-Where?
-Standing in that line.
-Uptown Aid Society?
-What do they do there?
-They give away free meals.
-Free meals?
You see?
I told you, Dad.
It wasn't nonsense.
-Poor Mr. Wilson.
-Oh my goodness, I
better get your dinner.
-Uh Eloise, I'm not hungry.
-Not hungry?
Oh John, I'm proud of you.
-Thank you.
[doorbell rings]
-Oh hello, Henry.
-Hi, Mrs. Wilson.
-Hello, Henry.
-Oh hi, John.
-Come on in.
-I haven't seen you
around lately, John.
I just thought I'd drop
over and see how things are.
-Rough.
-Oh, really bad, huh?
-Oh, you have no idea.
Sit down, sit down.
-Oh thanks.
-They took away the living
room furniture today.
They're going to pick up the
dining room set tomorrow.
-Well, we could
loan you something.
-Oh that's all right.
Don't worry about us.
We'll manage.
-Oh of course you will.
It's always darkest
before the dawn.
John?
-Yes?
-I'd like to ask you something.
-What is it, Henry?
-Well, it's, it's
kind of personal.
Now, now we've been
friends for a long time.
And well, a, a friend in
need is a friend indeed.
-A friend in need
is a friend indeed.
Henry uh, what are
you trying to say?
-Well, if a friend
is in trouble,
I think that he
should go to a friend
and, and see if there's
anything he needs.
-Why certainly.
-I'm glad you feel that
way about it, John.
I'm sure that if
I were in trouble,
I could come to you just
as you could come to me.
-Well of course!
We're friends, aren't we?
-We sure are.
Well, I'll see you, John.
-See you, Henry.
-What's Henry want?
-If I didn't know
him so well, I'd
swear he was trying
to borrow some money.
-There you are, Dennis.
-Thanks, Mr. Quigley.
The people will appreciate this.
I'd tell you who they are, but
I don't want to embarrass them.
-Oh, I understand Dennis.
Now if they need anything
else, you let me know.
-Thanks, Mr. Quigley.
Bye!
-Bye.
[horn honking]
-Morning, Quigley.
-Good morning, John.
I suppose you came for
that money you lost.
-Yep, yep.
-I found it right
near the meat counter.
-Ah.
-$ .
-It was $ .
-I thought you might
want to offer a reward.
-Your reward is the
satisfaction in knowing
that you're an honest man.
-That kind of reward
is hard to spend.
-Was that Dennis?
-Yes.
Now there's a real generous boy.
Do you know what he's doing?
He's collecting food--
groceries-- for a poor family.
-Oh, that's odd.
He didn't ask me to contribute.
-It's probably 'cause he
knows you're such a tightwad.
-Oh, is that so?
Well, I am not one to turn my
back on anyone who's hungry.
-I hear you talking, but I
don't see you contributing.
-Here.
Uh, take the $ and
put it in the kitty.
Tell Dennis he can get
another load of groceries
for that needy family tomorrow.
-You want to contribute
the whole $ ?
-That's right.
The whole $ .
-John, are you sure that
hole was in your pocket?
[doorbell rings]
-Where'd you leave them?
-On the doorstep.
I hope he finds them all right.
[crashing sounds]
-Oh John, what happened?
-Eloise, who left all
this junk on the porch?
-I don't know.
It must have been
delivered by mistake.
-Mistake?
Well I-- candied yams!
-$ . , that's my
whole allowance.
Sure hope Mr. Wilson
appreciates it.
-Thanks, Howie.
He will.
But don't forget, us kids
aren't telling anybody
that we're doing
this for Mr. Wilson.
-Boy, a show in
your own backyard.
-Yeah.
And it'll start
in a few minutes.
Go on in.
-OK.
-Hi Dennis.
-Hi Seymour.
-Here's $ . and
three bottle caps.
-Thanks, Seymour.
-I had to drink the three
bottles of root beer
to get the $ .
back on the bottles.
-Mr. Wilson will appreciate it.
-That's OK.
Root beer's my favorite drink.
-Go on in and sit down.
-How we doing, Dennis?
-Pretty good, Tommy.
$ . and three bottle caps.
-So what's the frog for?
[frog croaks]
-Oh, that belongs
to Artie Robinson.
I'm holding it for
security til he
gets the money his
brother owes him.
-Great.
Let's get the show on the road.
-Yes sir.
Come on, fellas.
Everybody sit down!
Everybody sit down!
-Yay!
-Ladies and gentlemen, our
first star act will be Margaret.
[cheers and applause]
-Doing her famous
Hawaiian hula dance.
Music, maestro.
[hula music playing]
[cheers and applause]
[hula music playing]
[cheers and applause]
-That was great, Margaret.
Really great!
Our next star act will be
yours truly, Dennis Mitchell,
performing a feat of magic.
May I have a volunteer
from the audience?
-Dennis.
-Oh no, not you Mr. Wilson.
I couldn't saw you in half.
I couldn't even
get you in the box.
-Dennis, I did not come over
here to be sawn in half.
Now look here Dennis, I
am trying to do some work.
-You mean you're
gonna sell a story?
-If my editor likes it.
-Well gee, we don't
want to interfere
with that at a time like this.
Come on, everybody.
Let's get out of here so Mr.
Wilson can earn some money.
-Goodbye, Mr. Wilson.
I hope you sell your story.
-Well uh--
-Good luck, Mr. Wilson.
Good luck.
-Well, wait a minute.
Don't, don't, don't go.
-Good luck, Mr. Wilson.
We're rooting for you.
-Oh.
Oh, thank you.
Well, oh Dennis.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to
break up your show.
-Hmm.
Mr. Wilson?
May I talk to you man to man?
-Well yes, I guess so.
-Well, I don't think
it's right to keep
beating around the bush.
-Beating around the bush?
-Yeah.
Here.
-What's this?
-It's the money we
took in from the show.
$ . and three bottle caps.
There'll be more when Artie
Robinson redeems his frog.
-Oh, you want me
to hold it for you.
-No, sir.
It's yours.
-Mine?
-Yes, sir.
It's probably not enough
to get your furniture back,
but maybe it'll help.
And I guess you
found the groceries
I left on your doorstep.
-Oh, you were the one
who left those there?
-Yes, sir.
Now you won't have to stand
in line at the Aid Society.
-Dennis--
-It could be worse, Mr. Wilson.
You still got your
television set and your car.
You're a lot luckier
than Tommy's uncle.
-Well Dennis, I
don't understand.
-The same thing happened to
him that happened to you.
He lost all his money
in the stop market.
-Stock market?
Whatever gave you such an idea?
-Well, yesterday when
I washed your car,
you said you couldn't
pay me because you
lost all your money
in the market.
-That's right.
Quigley's Market.
-Quigley's?
-Yeah, I had a
hole in my pocket.
-But they took away
your furniture.
-To be reupholstered.
-But you were starving.
-I'm on a diet.
-But the Uptown Aid Society.
-I went there to pick
up my smoking jacket.
-Well gee, it sure
sounds different
when you put that way.
-Well yes, I, I guess it does.
-Well, I'm sure
glad it's not true.
I was worried about
you, Mr. Wilson.
We all thought you were broke.
-Dennis, if I didn't
have a single penny,
I'd be the richest man in the
world with a friend like you.
-Jeepers, this
sure is nice of you
to do this for us, Mr. Wilson.
-Why, it's my pleasure Dennis.
Would, would you
like another one?
-I sure would.
This one even tastes
better than the first one.
-The first one.
[clears throat] How's your
uh, banana split, Seymour?
-Swell.
I'm sure glad you lost
your money in the market.
-Well, thank you.
-[gasps]
[smack]
-Mrs. Wilson!
-Ah ah ah ah!
John!
-Stool pigeon.
-[clears throat]
[clinks glass]
-May I have your attention
a moment, please?
Uh, I suppose some
of you are wondering
about the reason for
this little party.
Well, it's just my way
of saying thank you
to Dennis and to all of you for
your concern about my welfare.
Naturally, I'm delighted that
it's all a misunderstanding.
But I did find out that I
have some wonderful and loyal
friends that I can count
on if I really need help.
And uh, thank you.
[applause]
-Uh, will that be
all, Mr. Wilson?
-Oh uh, I guess so.
-All right, there's the check.
-All right.
And here you are.
$ . and three bottle caps.
--[laughs] Uh, Mr. Wilson,
the uh, check is $ . .
-Uh, $ . .
Oh yeah. [laughs]
Well-- [inaudible].
Henry?
Uh Henry, uh, this
is rather personal.
Uh well, after all, we have
been friends for a long time.
Well, the darkest hour is
just before-- a friend in need
is a friend indeed?
-Don't worry, Mr. Wilson.
If you haven't got
the money, I'll
stay and help you
wash the dishes.
[laughter]
-Oh!
[theme music]
-Mr. Wilson!
Mr. Wilson!
Oh hi, Mr. Wilson.
-Yes, Dennis?
-Do you need any work
done around the house?
-Like what and how
much will it cost me?
-Well, burning
leaves, $ . an hour.
-The leaves are
still on the trees.
-I can shake them off
for $ . an hour.
-No thank you.
-How about letting
me wash your car?
-I don't think it needs it.
Well, pretty clever car.
-I'll only charge
you $ , Mr. Wilson.
And I'll do a real good job.
-Well, I don't--
-Remember what you said
the last time I washed it?
-Yes, I do.
I said be sure and roll up the
windows before you hose it off.
-Thanks, Mr. Wilson!
You bet I will!
I sure will!
Bye!
-Uh, weh, uh weh, uh well.
Uh--
[theme music]
-Ugh!
No use, Eloise.
I haven't got the
strength to lift it.
Well, I used to be able to
do that in the old days.
When I got some nourishment.
-Dear, you've only been
on a diet for two days.
-Well, it seems like two weeks.
-You had a good lunch.
-Oh marvelous.
Cup of hot tea and two prunes.
-Two?
There was only one pit
left on your plate.
-Well, I have to
have some solid food.
-Dear, would you move this
table out into the hall for me?
It has to go out to be repaired.
Besides, the
upholsterers are coming
and I want it out of the way.
-Can I get Dennis to help me?
-John, I don't like spring
cleaning any better than you.
-Well you must.
You do it every year.
-John.
-[gasps] John!
-Ah!
Dear my!
Don't sneak up on me like that!
-What are you doing?
Reminiscing
-Put it back.
-Oh, all right.
-There.
The people from the
Uptown Aid Society
are coming to pick this up.
-Oh Eloise!
-I don't know who's suffering
more from this diet, you or me.
Mmm, you have any money?
-Are you going to sell
me something to eat?
-[laughs] No dear.
I just remembered I have to give
the upholsterers a deposit when
they pick up the furniture.
-Oh.
Well, I've got--
-What's the matter?
-There's a hole in my pocket.
-[gasps]
-I've lost all of my money.
Eloise, if you'd spend more
time sewing my clothes instead--
-Where did you lose it?
-Well, I went to the hardware
store, then the drug store.
And I had $ left when I
got to Quigley's Market,
and then I went-- I bet I
lost it at Quigley's Market.
-Call him up.
Maybe somebody found it.
I can give the
upholsterers a check.
-Dennis.
-Yes, Mr. Wilson?
-Never mind.
Well, that's a very
good job, Dennis.
-Thanks, Mr. Wilson.
Would you mind paying me now?
You see, Tommy's coming over--
-Oh certainly, certainly.
Oh, I'm sorry, Dennis.
I forgot.
I'll have to pay you later.
I lost all my money
in the market.
-Well, that's OK.
I'll trust you.
-Well, thank you, Dennis.
I wish all of my creditors were
as understanding as you are.
-See you later, Mr. Wilson.
-All right.
-Boy, it sure is neat.
-Yeah.
It's worth a lot more than $ .
I wouldn't be selling it at all,
except my dad made me give up
model airplanes for
stamp collecting.
-I'll take model
airplanes any day.
-Well, don't start the
motor in the house on Sunday
morning when your
dad's sleeping,
or you'll be
collecting stamps too.
You got the $ ?
-Well, I've got it
but I haven't got it.
-What do you mean?
-Well, I washed
Mr. Wilson's car,
but he couldn't pay me because
he didn't have any money.
-Didn't have any money?
-No.
He lost it in the market.
-Boy, that's tough.
The same thing happened
to my Uncle Fred.
He lost all his money
in the market too.
Buying on margin or something.
-I wonder if that's what
happened to Mr. Wilson?
-Sure, if he lost his money.
Dad said if the market goes
down, you're wiped out.
-Oh, Mr. Wilson's
too smart for that.
-So was my Uncle Fred.
The first thing you
know, he lost his car.
Then his TV set.
And they took away
his furniture!
-Well, that won't
happen to Mr. Wilson.
-On no?
Look!
-Jeepers!
Poor Mr. Wilson.
DENNIS (OFFSCREEN):
But Tommy said--
-Yes, I know what Tommy said.
But just because it
happened to his uncle,
doesn't mean it
happened to Mr. Wilson.
-But he didn't even have $
to pay me for washing his car.
-Mr. Wilson's hardly
the type to risk
everything he has
in the stock market.
-But we saw them take
away his furniture.
-Dennis, don't you think
if anything were wrong,
Mr. Wilson would have
mentioned it to us?
-I don't know, Mom.
Mr. Wilson's a
very sensitive man.
--[laughs] Well, I wouldn't
worry about it if I were--
-But Tommy said--
-Dennis, are you
ready to go downtown
with your mother and me?
-Yes sir.
-Good.
-I've got to run
upstairs and change.
Oh Dennis, will you please
take the pie out of the oven
when the timer bell rings?
-Sure, Mom.
-Why, that used to be my job.
-I know.
No sampling.
-That's how I lost my job.
-Four hours, minutes,
and seconds til dinner.
I don't think I'll make it.
[timer rings]
MR. WILSON (OFFSCREEN):
Psst, psst, psst.
-Oh, Mr. Wilson.
-Dennis, are you alone?
-Yes sir.
-May I come in?
-Sure.
What can I do for
you, Mr. Wilson?
-Oh, why uh, um, uh
nothing, uh Dennis.
Nothing, nothing at all.
I was just sitting on my
patio--oh is that a pie?
-Yeah.
Strawberry.
-Strawberry!
Dennis, do you suppose
your mother would
let you give me
piece of that pie?
-I'll ask her.
-No, no!
Don't ask her.
Dennis, I'm starving.
I haven't had a decent
meal in two days.
-Well, gee.
Come on.
Sit down.
Let's see.
We've got, we've got
some swell pot roast.
-Oh!
John, where have you been?
-Oh uh, I was over visiting
the Mitchells. [singing softly]
-John?
Did you have anything
to eat over there?
-Eat?
Well, how can you ask that?
-You haven't been this
happy in two days.
-Well, maybe I'm lightheaded.
Malnutrition. [singing softly]
-John, are you sure you
didn't have anything to eat?
-Eloise, have you seen
my smoking jacket?
-Oh, it was in that
bundle of things
I gave to the Aid Society.
-You did what?
-Well dear, it was
practically in shreds.
-Eloise!
You know how attached
I was to that jacket.
-Well dear, buy
yourself a new one.
-Well, I liked the old one.
-Then you'll just
have to get it back.
-Don't think I won't.
Uh, what was the
name of that place?
-The Uptown Aid Society.
-Where is it?
-Downtown.
-What's the Uptown Aid
Society doing downtown?
-Well, it was uptown
when they built it.
-Oh.
I'll find it.
-John, I apologize.
-Well, you should.
Giving away my favorite jacket!
-Oh no, not that.
For suspecting you of
having had anything to eat.
You're still your same
grumpy old hungry self.
-We'll have to stop at
Quigley's on the way home.
I think we're all out of milk.
-Oh.
Looks like you're
out of everything.
-Well that's funny.
There was a half a
pot roast in there.
-And what happened to that pie?
-I can't imagine.
-Hi Mom, hi Dad.
You all ready?
-Dennis, what happened to all
the food that was in here?
-And the pie?
-Do I have to tell you?
-Well, we'd like to know.
-Well, Mr. Wilson ate it.
-Uh, uh, our Mr.
Wilson next door?
-Yes, sir.
He was starving.
-But Dennis, if Mr. Wilson was
here, why didn't you call us?
-He wouldn't let me.
I told you, he's
a sensitive man.
-Come along, young man.
We'll discuss this
on the way downtown.
-But Dad!
-Never mind.
-Hey, where you going, Jack?
-Why, inside.
-What are you, a privileged
character or something?
-Yeah!
Get in line!
-What for?
I'm just going to get
my smoking jacket.
-Smoking jacket?
How 'bout that, [inaudible]?
-Do tell.
I'm getting fitted
for a tuxedo myself.
Going twisting tonight with Liz.
-Now look here--
-Hey hey, wise guy, if
you want fried chicken,
get in line like everybody else.
-I just want to
go-- fried chicken?
-Yeah.
That's the speciality
of the house.
-Well, fried chicken!
-We'll save you a finger bone!
-Smoking jacket!
-Hey!
There's Mr. Wilson!
-Where?
-Standing in that line.
-Uptown Aid Society?
-What do they do there?
-They give away free meals.
-Free meals?
You see?
I told you, Dad.
It wasn't nonsense.
-Poor Mr. Wilson.
-Oh my goodness, I
better get your dinner.
-Uh Eloise, I'm not hungry.
-Not hungry?
Oh John, I'm proud of you.
-Thank you.
[doorbell rings]
-Oh hello, Henry.
-Hi, Mrs. Wilson.
-Hello, Henry.
-Oh hi, John.
-Come on in.
-I haven't seen you
around lately, John.
I just thought I'd drop
over and see how things are.
-Rough.
-Oh, really bad, huh?
-Oh, you have no idea.
Sit down, sit down.
-Oh thanks.
-They took away the living
room furniture today.
They're going to pick up the
dining room set tomorrow.
-Well, we could
loan you something.
-Oh that's all right.
Don't worry about us.
We'll manage.
-Oh of course you will.
It's always darkest
before the dawn.
John?
-Yes?
-I'd like to ask you something.
-What is it, Henry?
-Well, it's, it's
kind of personal.
Now, now we've been
friends for a long time.
And well, a, a friend in
need is a friend indeed.
-A friend in need
is a friend indeed.
Henry uh, what are
you trying to say?
-Well, if a friend
is in trouble,
I think that he
should go to a friend
and, and see if there's
anything he needs.
-Why certainly.
-I'm glad you feel that
way about it, John.
I'm sure that if
I were in trouble,
I could come to you just
as you could come to me.
-Well of course!
We're friends, aren't we?
-We sure are.
Well, I'll see you, John.
-See you, Henry.
-What's Henry want?
-If I didn't know
him so well, I'd
swear he was trying
to borrow some money.
-There you are, Dennis.
-Thanks, Mr. Quigley.
The people will appreciate this.
I'd tell you who they are, but
I don't want to embarrass them.
-Oh, I understand Dennis.
Now if they need anything
else, you let me know.
-Thanks, Mr. Quigley.
Bye!
-Bye.
[horn honking]
-Morning, Quigley.
-Good morning, John.
I suppose you came for
that money you lost.
-Yep, yep.
-I found it right
near the meat counter.
-Ah.
-$ .
-It was $ .
-I thought you might
want to offer a reward.
-Your reward is the
satisfaction in knowing
that you're an honest man.
-That kind of reward
is hard to spend.
-Was that Dennis?
-Yes.
Now there's a real generous boy.
Do you know what he's doing?
He's collecting food--
groceries-- for a poor family.
-Oh, that's odd.
He didn't ask me to contribute.
-It's probably 'cause he
knows you're such a tightwad.
-Oh, is that so?
Well, I am not one to turn my
back on anyone who's hungry.
-I hear you talking, but I
don't see you contributing.
-Here.
Uh, take the $ and
put it in the kitty.
Tell Dennis he can get
another load of groceries
for that needy family tomorrow.
-You want to contribute
the whole $ ?
-That's right.
The whole $ .
-John, are you sure that
hole was in your pocket?
[doorbell rings]
-Where'd you leave them?
-On the doorstep.
I hope he finds them all right.
[crashing sounds]
-Oh John, what happened?
-Eloise, who left all
this junk on the porch?
-I don't know.
It must have been
delivered by mistake.
-Mistake?
Well I-- candied yams!
-$ . , that's my
whole allowance.
Sure hope Mr. Wilson
appreciates it.
-Thanks, Howie.
He will.
But don't forget, us kids
aren't telling anybody
that we're doing
this for Mr. Wilson.
-Boy, a show in
your own backyard.
-Yeah.
And it'll start
in a few minutes.
Go on in.
-OK.
-Hi Dennis.
-Hi Seymour.
-Here's $ . and
three bottle caps.
-Thanks, Seymour.
-I had to drink the three
bottles of root beer
to get the $ .
back on the bottles.
-Mr. Wilson will appreciate it.
-That's OK.
Root beer's my favorite drink.
-Go on in and sit down.
-How we doing, Dennis?
-Pretty good, Tommy.
$ . and three bottle caps.
-So what's the frog for?
[frog croaks]
-Oh, that belongs
to Artie Robinson.
I'm holding it for
security til he
gets the money his
brother owes him.
-Great.
Let's get the show on the road.
-Yes sir.
Come on, fellas.
Everybody sit down!
Everybody sit down!
-Yay!
-Ladies and gentlemen, our
first star act will be Margaret.
[cheers and applause]
-Doing her famous
Hawaiian hula dance.
Music, maestro.
[hula music playing]
[cheers and applause]
[hula music playing]
[cheers and applause]
-That was great, Margaret.
Really great!
Our next star act will be
yours truly, Dennis Mitchell,
performing a feat of magic.
May I have a volunteer
from the audience?
-Dennis.
-Oh no, not you Mr. Wilson.
I couldn't saw you in half.
I couldn't even
get you in the box.
-Dennis, I did not come over
here to be sawn in half.
Now look here Dennis, I
am trying to do some work.
-You mean you're
gonna sell a story?
-If my editor likes it.
-Well gee, we don't
want to interfere
with that at a time like this.
Come on, everybody.
Let's get out of here so Mr.
Wilson can earn some money.
-Goodbye, Mr. Wilson.
I hope you sell your story.
-Well uh--
-Good luck, Mr. Wilson.
Good luck.
-Well, wait a minute.
Don't, don't, don't go.
-Good luck, Mr. Wilson.
We're rooting for you.
-Oh.
Oh, thank you.
Well, oh Dennis.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to
break up your show.
-Hmm.
Mr. Wilson?
May I talk to you man to man?
-Well yes, I guess so.
-Well, I don't think
it's right to keep
beating around the bush.
-Beating around the bush?
-Yeah.
Here.
-What's this?
-It's the money we
took in from the show.
$ . and three bottle caps.
There'll be more when Artie
Robinson redeems his frog.
-Oh, you want me
to hold it for you.
-No, sir.
It's yours.
-Mine?
-Yes, sir.
It's probably not enough
to get your furniture back,
but maybe it'll help.
And I guess you
found the groceries
I left on your doorstep.
-Oh, you were the one
who left those there?
-Yes, sir.
Now you won't have to stand
in line at the Aid Society.
-Dennis--
-It could be worse, Mr. Wilson.
You still got your
television set and your car.
You're a lot luckier
than Tommy's uncle.
-Well Dennis, I
don't understand.
-The same thing happened to
him that happened to you.
He lost all his money
in the stop market.
-Stock market?
Whatever gave you such an idea?
-Well, yesterday when
I washed your car,
you said you couldn't
pay me because you
lost all your money
in the market.
-That's right.
Quigley's Market.
-Quigley's?
-Yeah, I had a
hole in my pocket.
-But they took away
your furniture.
-To be reupholstered.
-But you were starving.
-I'm on a diet.
-But the Uptown Aid Society.
-I went there to pick
up my smoking jacket.
-Well gee, it sure
sounds different
when you put that way.
-Well yes, I, I guess it does.
-Well, I'm sure
glad it's not true.
I was worried about
you, Mr. Wilson.
We all thought you were broke.
-Dennis, if I didn't
have a single penny,
I'd be the richest man in the
world with a friend like you.
-Jeepers, this
sure is nice of you
to do this for us, Mr. Wilson.
-Why, it's my pleasure Dennis.
Would, would you
like another one?
-I sure would.
This one even tastes
better than the first one.
-The first one.
[clears throat] How's your
uh, banana split, Seymour?
-Swell.
I'm sure glad you lost
your money in the market.
-Well, thank you.
-[gasps]
[smack]
-Mrs. Wilson!
-Ah ah ah ah!
John!
-Stool pigeon.
-[clears throat]
[clinks glass]
-May I have your attention
a moment, please?
Uh, I suppose some
of you are wondering
about the reason for
this little party.
Well, it's just my way
of saying thank you
to Dennis and to all of you for
your concern about my welfare.
Naturally, I'm delighted that
it's all a misunderstanding.
But I did find out that I
have some wonderful and loyal
friends that I can count
on if I really need help.
And uh, thank you.
[applause]
-Uh, will that be
all, Mr. Wilson?
-Oh uh, I guess so.
-All right, there's the check.
-All right.
And here you are.
$ . and three bottle caps.
--[laughs] Uh, Mr. Wilson,
the uh, check is $ . .
-Uh, $ . .
Oh yeah. [laughs]
Well-- [inaudible].
Henry?
Uh Henry, uh, this
is rather personal.
Uh well, after all, we have
been friends for a long time.
Well, the darkest hour is
just before-- a friend in need
is a friend indeed?
-Don't worry, Mr. Wilson.
If you haven't got
the money, I'll
stay and help you
wash the dishes.
[laughter]
-Oh!
[theme music]