03x38 - Dennis and the Witch Doctor
Posted: 11/12/23 06:32
[theme music]
-Hey, Dad?
-Yes, Dennis?
-Why do you wear glasses?
-Because my eyes
are a little weak.
-Does that come from
too much reading?
-I guess that could
have something to do it.
-You mean, if you
didn't read so much,
it would be better
for your eyes?
-I guess you could say that.
-Good!
Then I won't ask
you to read this.
-OK.
What is it?
-My report card.
[laughter]
-Uh, Dennis.
[theme music]
-Alice!
Where's the phone bill, honey?
I've got the gas bill
and the light bill,
but not the phone bill.
-It's right in there
with the others.
Try shuffling them again.
[laughter]
-Hey, I, uh, see
you bought yourself
another new hat this month.
-I had to get something to
go with your new golf bag.
[laughter]
-Touche.
-Hi Mom!
Hi Dad!
-Hello, dear.
-Whatcha making?
-A cake.
-Oh boy!
I hope it's chocolate
with marshmallow icing,
and pineapples and
cherries on top.
You know, the kind I
always get sick on.
-I'm sorry, dear, but
this cake isn't for us,
it's for Mr. Wilson.
-Mr. Wilson?
How come?
-Oh, I just feel sorry for
him, all alone in that house.
-Where's Mrs. Wilson?
-She's gone back east
for a while, dear.
-Oh.
When the cake's ready, can I
take it over to Mr. Wilson?
-You sound a little too anxious.
I think it's be safer
if I did it myself.
-That's right, son.
You might stumble and
get your face in it.
[music playing]
[crash]
-Good heavens, what was that?
[theme music]
-And what kind of driving
is that supposed to be?
-You're not blaming me.
-Mrs. Elkins, this
is not England.
Here, people are
supposed to drive
on the right side of the street.
Or, don't you know your
right from your left?
-Well, maybe you don't know
that when a gentleman sees
a lady coming, he ought
to get out of the way!
[laughter]
-Whether or not I am a
gentleman is beside the point.
The issue is, my
headlight is busted.
-Why tell me?
I'm not a repairman.
[laughter]
-Just a minute.
This isn't settled yet.
-It is as far as I'm concerned.
And don't try to tell
me it was my fault.
After all, I've been
in enough accidents
to know who was to blame.
[laughter]
- I'm warning you, madam.
This isn't settled yet.
-Ha!
Pish, posh!
[laughter]
[laughter]
[theme music]
DENNIS (OFFSCREEN):
Hey, Mr. Wilson!
Are you home?
-No, I'm not.
DENNIS (OFFSCREEN):
But you answered me!
-All right, then.
I'll give you
exactly seconds.
Whoop.
Time's up.
Time's up.
[laughter]
-But I'm not in yet.
-I know.
Just a gentle hint
that I'm very busy.
-Hey, I saw that run-in
you had with Mrs. Elkins
a little while ago.
-Oh, that impossible woman.
She ran smack into me.
-Hey!!
Look at all those feathers!
Boy, what's all this?
-Those are some
things I picked up
last year in the
jungles of Haiti.
My magazine wanted an
article on witchcraft.
Now, if you don't mind--
-Witchcraft!?
Boy, that sounds spooky.
What's this?
Did you play with dolls
when you were in Haiti?
-That is a voodoo doll, Dennis.
Witch doctors use them to
cause unpleasant things
to happen to people
they don't like.
-Yeah?
How?
-Well, for example, if a witch
doctor wanted to put a hex
on some disagreeable person,
say, like, Mrs. Elkins--
-Mrs. Elkins?
-Yes.
This doll would
represent Mrs. Elkins.
The witch doctor would stick
this pin in it, close his eyes
and say, Aba goo, aba
goo, boo la ah, a tone-ee.
-What would that do?
-Oh,there's no telling.
Something awful
might happen to her.
She might even disappear.
-Gee, I bet you know a
lot about witch doctors.
-Oh, you bet I do.
I lived for three days
with the witch doctor.
He told me everything he knew.
-Golly!
-Now, suppose this doll
represented you, Dennis,
and I wanted to
make you disappear.
Aba goo, aba goooo--
-Okay, I'm going!
[laughter]
-Here's the only
dollar I can find.
-Well, this'll do okay, I guess.
Now where did I put that pin?
Oh yeah, here.
-That's all you need,
just a doll and a pin?
-Yeah.
First, you stick the
pin in, like this.
Then you close your eyes
and say the magic words.
Aba goo, aba goo--
-Hey, Dennis?
Who're we putting this hex on?
-Hey, that's right.
Do you know anybody that
you want to make disappear?
-How about Jimmy Peters?
He's a wise guy.
-OK.
Aba goo, aba goo--
-No, wait.
He owes me a nickle.
I don't want him to
disappear until I get it.
[laughter]
-Come on, we got to
think of somebody.
-Uh-oh, here comes
that dumb old Margaret!
-Go ahead.
Try it on her.
-OK.
First, we stick the pin in.
Aba goo, aba goo, goo la moo--
-Bologna!
[laughter]
-It worked, she's gone!
-Aw, she didn't disappear.
-I bet even a real witch
doctor couldn't get rid
of that dumb old Margaret.
[laughter]
-I heard my name mentioned.
Don't you know it's
impolite to talk
about people behind their backs?
-Oh, we weren't talking
behind your back, Margaret,
you were coming straight at us!
-Well, well, since when do
boys start playing with dolls?
-This is a voodoo
doll, Margaret,
and you don't know how close it
came to making you disappear.
-Ha, ha, ha!
Where'd you get that nonsense?
-From Mr. Wilson, that's who.
-Tell her what he's
doing to Mrs. Elkins
cause she ran into him.
-He's putting a hex on her.
Mr. Wilson knows all
about witch doctor stuff.
-What's he doing to her?
-I don't know,
but a witch doctor
can make anything happen.
-Hey, let's go see Mrs.
Elkins and find out.
-Yeah, come on!
-That's the silliest
thing I've ever heard of.
-Well, if you think
it's so silly,
what are you tagging along for?
-I just want to see you when
you find out how stupid you are.
[laughter]
-Well, children,
you still haven't
told me the reason
for your visit.
-They've been too busy eating.
-Well, Dennis?
-Has anything bad happened
to you today, Mrs. Elkins?
-Tommy!
-Bad?
-I should say so.
Ever since she got
up this morning.
This has been a
terrible day for her.
-What happened?
-Well, first she dropped one
of her best china plates,
and, and then she
cut her finger,
and then her cat scratched her.
-What made your cat
do that, Mrs. Elkins?
-Why, I don't know.
She never did anything
like that before.
I don't know what got into her.
[laughter]
-Why are you staring
at me like that?
-Who, us?
[laughter]
-Why don't you tell her, Dennis?
-That new Mr. Wilson
put a hex on you.
-A hex?
-Now, Tommy, I'll
have to tell her.
Well, Mr. Wilson stuck
a pin in a voodoo doll.
Something bad might be
happening to you today.
-Now what kind of
ridiculous talk is that?
-Oh, it isn't ridiculous
talk, Mrs. Elkins.
Mr. Wilson knows all about
being a witch doctor.
-Witch doctor?
-Yeah!
He lived with one in Haiti
and he learned all voodoo,
and putting hexes
on people, and--
-Now that's enough of that.
I don't find this sort
of talk at all amusing.
[meowing]
-For goodness sake, Lucy!
You better do something
about those cats.
Sounds like somebody
put a hex on them.
-Would everybody please
stop talking about hexes?
As if there
were such a thing.
[meowing]
[window opening]
-Buff, Tabby!
Stop that!
Witch doctor!
[window slams]
[laughter]
-Gracious, Lucy, you
might have been hurt!
-Jeepers!
It's really working!
[laughter]
-Stop it, all of you.
It's absurd.
That man's no more a
witch doctor than I am,
is he, Tinkerbell?
[cat yowls]
[laughter]
-Wow!
That cat must know something.
They pal around with
witches, you know.
[laughter]
-That's enough.
Children, you'll have
to run along now.
Thank you for coming.
Good-bye.
-Good-bye, Mrs. Elkins.
-Goodbye.
-Goodbye.
And good luck.
-Goodbye.
-Goodbye.
-Carrie, you don't believe
that man Wilson had
anything to do with
all this, do you?
-Well, after all, Lucy,
you did smash up his car
and he warned you he'd
do something about it.
Well, something is making
all these things happen.
-Oh!
It's too ridiculous.
I refuse to be intimidated.
[phone rings]
[glass breaking]
[cat yowls]
[laughter]
[phone rings]
-Oh, I'm coming!
I'm coming.
[phone rings]
-Hello?
Oh, Maybelle.
Say, what do you know
about that Mr. Wilson?
Well, I'm beginning
to wonder about him.
Strange things have
been happening.
-Well, thank you, Alice.
Oh my, that looks delicious.
You've been working so hard on
that magazine article of yours,
I thought you deserved
a nice home-baked cake.
-That was very
thoughtful of you.
-Oh, and if you have any
trouble finishing it,
I'm sure Dennis will
be happy to help you.
As a neighborly
gesture, of course.
-I'm sure he will.
Oh, and speaking
of neighbors, I've
been thinking about
giving a little party
so I could meet some
of your nice neighbors.
-Oh, what a good idea!
-And I wondered if you and
Henry would act as co-hosts
and help with the
invitation list?
-Of course.
We'd love to.
-I had intended doing
this much sooner,
but I've been so busy writing
my next magazine article.
-Yes.
Dennis tells me you're
quite an expert on voodoo.
In fact, he thinks you're
something of a witch doctor.
-Well, he was rather impressed
with the paraphernalia
I've collected.
-He certainly was.
-Incidentally, I have
some film and recorded
tribal ceremonies and rituals.
I could show those
at the party if you
think the guests would be
interested in such a thing.
-I think that's
a wonderful idea!
-And that gives me another idea.
We could send out
the invitations
with little voodoo
dolls attached.
-Mr. Wilson, I think you have
a little Elsa Maxwell in you.
Well, I better be going.
-Oh, uh, just a minute.
I'll walk out with you.
When you arrived, I
was just going out
to sweep up the glass from
that accident this morning.
I forgot all about it.
I don't want anyone
to cut a tire on it.
-You'll invite Mrs. Elkins
to your party, of course?
-Well of course!
You can't have a witch
doctor party without a witch.
[laughter]
-Well.
-Thank you.
Now you let us know
just as soon as you
need us to help with
the arrangements.
-Thanks again, Alice.
-All right.
Bye.
-Bye.
[car driving]
[laughter]
[car tire blowout]
[laughter]
-I tried to warn you!
[laughter]
-And for no reason
at all, Agnes,
he ran out and put
a hex on my tire.
[laughter]
-Why, my goodness!
That Lucy Elkins was right.
-Oh, yes!
He's a witch doctor for sure!
He even had a broom.
[laughter]
-A broom?
Well, I never!
Carrie, I'll call
you right back.
I've got to tell
Hazel about this.
[laughter]
-And I checked all
the addresses for you.
-Oh, splendid, Alice.
I appreciate your helping
me with the guest list.
And now I better see about
getting some voodoo dolls
to go along with
the invitations.
Do you have a five
and dime store handy?
-Well, Smalley's is the closest.
-Can I go with you, Mr. Wilson?
I'll show you where it is.
-All right, Dennis.
Thank you.
-Sounds like you're going
to have a real swell party.
-When John Wilson gives
a party, it's a real--
-Wingding.
-Wingding.
That's the word.
And a rooty- toot- toot!
-Come on, my boy.
-I tell you, Lucy Elkins
hasn't been the same
since he stuck a pin
in that voodoo doll.
-And he seemed like
such a nice man.
-Looks can be
deceiving, Mr. Smalley.
-He's a witch doctor, all right.
Why, yesterday in
the market, he just
looked at Amy Putnam
and she got the hives.
-Oh, Amy Putnam
can get the hives
just looking at strawberries.
-But she wasn't looking
at strawberries.
She was buying lamb chops.
[laughter]
[bell ringing]
-Speak of the devil!
-Good morning.
-Hi, Mr. Smalley.
-Hello, Dennis.
-I want to buy some dolls.
[laughter]
-Yes, small ones,
about there so.
-You know, Mr.
Smalley, like the kind
you make into voodoo dolls.
[laughter]
-Dennis, I wanted
to keep that secret.
[laughter]
-H-h-how many dolls do you want?
-Well, let's see.
How many people I
have to take care of.
[laughter]
-About a dozen.
[laughter]
-I see.
-Better make it .
I might decide to
include someone
else at the last minute.
[laughter] [theme music]
-Jeepers, they looked like
they were scared of something.
[laughter]
-Uhh, Mr. Wilson, I don't have
dolls like you want on hand.
I, I may have some
in the stock room.
Uh, uh, it'll take
a little while.
-Well then, I'll come back.
Eh-- you won't disappoint
me, will you Mr. Smalley?
-Oh no no, no.
[laughter]
-Hey, Mr. Wilson,
are you going to send
Mr. Smalley a doll, too?
He's a neighbor.
-Oh?
Oh, are you a neighbor
of mine, Mr. Smalley?
-Who, me?
Oh, no, sir.
I live miles away.
[laughter]
-When did you move?
-Tomorrow.
[laughter]
-What would Mr. Wilson
be doing with dolls?
-Well, one sure thing is, he
isn't gonna play Santa Claus.
-He's gonna make voodoo dolls.
-Voodoo dolls?
-That's why we called you.
Sargent Mooney, people
are in mortal peril!
[laughter]
-Don't you think you ladies are
making a big fuss over nothing?
Witch doctors--
that's kid stuff.
-You wouldn't say that if he
tried to slam a window down
on your head, and turned
your old cat against you.
[laughter]
-What you want me to do?
-Investigate him.
-Arrest him.
-I can't arrest a man
just for-- for dolls.
All right, all right.
The law must protect
the community.
All members of it.
So, I will look into the matter.
Ladies.
[laughter]
-You hear that?
That's what I want
to play at the party.
[tribal music]
-Isn't that something?
Oh, that's fascinating.
That'll teach me to complain
about rock and roll.
-Jeepers, that's keen.
Well, what are they doing?
-Well, it's an ancient
tribal ceremony.
The warriors are being driven
to a frenzy by the witch doctor,
before going into battle.
This goes on all night.
Let me show you.
[tribal music]
Now, the witch doctor puts on
all these things, like this.
He wears a mask,
and a headdress,
and the gyrations
he goes through!
Ooo- ooh- whoo- whoo--
-(LAUGHING)
-Whoa, I'm going to learn
that kind of dancing.
-You'll never get that in
dancing school, my boy.
[laughter]
-I'll tell you what.
Why don't you two sit
down right over there,
and I'll go through the
whole ceremonial for you.
-Good.
[tribal music]
-Boy, he sure knows a
lot about witch doctors.
[tribal music]
[drums beating]
[laughter]
[drums beating]
[drums and tribal music]
[laughter]
[drums and tribal music]
-Now I've seen everything.
[laughter]
-So, I think it's up to us
to do something about it,
since we can't depend
upon the police to act.
-And after what you
yourself saw yesterday.
-But my hands are tied.
I talked to the chief.
And there's nothing in the
book that says a man cannot
entertain a tribe of
headhunters in his own home,
if he wants to.
-The nerve of that man.
Sending people voodoo dolls.
And asking them to
come to a party.
-Uh, have you got one
of those voodoo dolls?
-Right here.
-Having a party Friday at eight.
Lots of fun, so don't be late.
RSVP.
-My answer is a firm no.
-I'm not going, either.
-I wouldn't go near
that man's house.
-Hadn't we better get Henry
and Alice Mitchell on our side?
-Oh, you know them.
Sitting right next
door, they're probably
already taken in by him.
-Here, uh, you better take this.
[laughter]
-Lucy, aren't you afraid
to keep that doll around?
-I've already been hexed.
But who will be next?
That's the point.
[laughter]
-Henry, there's
something fishy going on.
Everybody's calling up to say
they're not coming to my party.
-Well, that's strange.
Hasn't anyone accepted?
-Yes, you and Alice.
Am I being deliberately
snubbed for some reason?
-I don't know why, John.
I thought everyone was
anxious to meet you.
Uh, OK, we'll see you tonight.
So long, John.
-Goodbye, Henry.
-Isn't that something, though?
-What's the matter?
-Looks like you and
I are going to be
the only guests at
the party tonight.
You mean everybody's
refusing to come?
-But they can't do
that to Mr. Wilson.
He's going to a lot of
trouble to have this party.
-John sounded like he was
taking it pretty hard.
-The poor man.
This is dreadful.
-It's not fair.
-Where are you off to, son?
-I'm going to see that
he isn't disappointed.
Mr. Wilson's going
to have his party.
[door slams]
-There's no sign of
a party going on.
-We've got the right night.
-Oh, it's the right
night, all right.
-Well, I guess we
cooked his goose.
-Serves him right, him
and his black magic.
-My goodness, who was that?
-That looked like
little Jerry Spinks.
-Oh?
What's he doing, going into
that awful man's house?
-There's no telling.
I wonder how many other
children he's got in there.
-Ohh.
-I'd better go and call Jerry's
mother, and Sargent Mooney,
too.
[laughter]
-Isn't that pretty?
(CHORUS OF VOICES)YES!
-Now, this is old Aba Tu,
the chief of the tribe.
I-- I guess he didn't
heed the warning
to brush his teeth
after every meal.
-[children laughing]
-Now, here's the native village.
Uh, notice the grass huts.
You have to be very careful
when you mow your lawn,
or you'll find
yourself homeless.
[laughter]
-Aren't the children fascinated?
-Yes.
It's a shame their
parents didn't come.
Threw me for a loop when
Smalley told me why.
[laughter]
[doorbell]
-Oh, hello Mrs. Mitchell.
Uh, Mrs. Elkins said all
the kids in the neighborhood
are here.
What's going on, exactly?
-Why don't you all
come in and see?
-Well, we've just
come for our children.
[laughter]
-Sargeant Mooney
-Hello, Mr. Mitchell.
-Well, I see we have
some more guests.
I'm delighted that
our adult neighbors
decided to join
the younger group.
[laughter]
-Come in.
Come in.
-Now, this is the
dreaded crocodile.
Every year, these creatures
take a countless toll
of human lives.
Now these are the
native warriors.
These men are recognized as the
bravest in the entire world.
There are only two
things they're afraid of.
The crocodile and their wives.
The warriors' wives, that
is, not the crocodiles'.
[laughter]
-I don't see anything
wrong going on here.
[laughter]
-And that concludes
our little showing.
For the benefit of
those who came in late,
that film was taken
on my recent trip
to Haiti, where I was gathering
material for a magazine article
on the subject of voodoo.
-Which hardly makes him a witch
doctor, does it, Mrs. Elkins?
[laughter]
-And getting back to the
subject of witch doctors--
the witch doctor only
is feared because
of ignorance and superstition.
The same things
that set neighbor
against neighbor, and
people against people, all
over the world.
-Just like it happened
in our neighborhood.
-That's right.
And now, if my co-hosts
Mr. And Mrs. Mitchell
would lead you to
the dining room,
I'm sure you'd all
enjoy some refreshments.
I hope there's
enough to go around.
Thanks to Dennis'
little, uh, club meeting,
there's a larger
turnout than I expected.
-Won't you join us, Mrs. Elkins?
-Well, I guess I can
stay for a minute.
-You sure thought up a
swell party, Mr. Wilson.
-Well, I didn't think
it up alone, Tommy.
This was a case of two
heads being better than one.
Right, Dennis?
-Yeah, and with all that ice
cream in there, right now
I'm thinking two tummies
would be better than
[laughter]
-I'll lend you mine.
[laughter]
-Come on, children.
Come on.
[applause]
[theme music]
-Hey, Dad?
-Yes, Dennis?
-Why do you wear glasses?
-Because my eyes
are a little weak.
-Does that come from
too much reading?
-I guess that could
have something to do it.
-You mean, if you
didn't read so much,
it would be better
for your eyes?
-I guess you could say that.
-Good!
Then I won't ask
you to read this.
-OK.
What is it?
-My report card.
[laughter]
-Uh, Dennis.
[theme music]
-Alice!
Where's the phone bill, honey?
I've got the gas bill
and the light bill,
but not the phone bill.
-It's right in there
with the others.
Try shuffling them again.
[laughter]
-Hey, I, uh, see
you bought yourself
another new hat this month.
-I had to get something to
go with your new golf bag.
[laughter]
-Touche.
-Hi Mom!
Hi Dad!
-Hello, dear.
-Whatcha making?
-A cake.
-Oh boy!
I hope it's chocolate
with marshmallow icing,
and pineapples and
cherries on top.
You know, the kind I
always get sick on.
-I'm sorry, dear, but
this cake isn't for us,
it's for Mr. Wilson.
-Mr. Wilson?
How come?
-Oh, I just feel sorry for
him, all alone in that house.
-Where's Mrs. Wilson?
-She's gone back east
for a while, dear.
-Oh.
When the cake's ready, can I
take it over to Mr. Wilson?
-You sound a little too anxious.
I think it's be safer
if I did it myself.
-That's right, son.
You might stumble and
get your face in it.
[music playing]
[crash]
-Good heavens, what was that?
[theme music]
-And what kind of driving
is that supposed to be?
-You're not blaming me.
-Mrs. Elkins, this
is not England.
Here, people are
supposed to drive
on the right side of the street.
Or, don't you know your
right from your left?
-Well, maybe you don't know
that when a gentleman sees
a lady coming, he ought
to get out of the way!
[laughter]
-Whether or not I am a
gentleman is beside the point.
The issue is, my
headlight is busted.
-Why tell me?
I'm not a repairman.
[laughter]
-Just a minute.
This isn't settled yet.
-It is as far as I'm concerned.
And don't try to tell
me it was my fault.
After all, I've been
in enough accidents
to know who was to blame.
[laughter]
- I'm warning you, madam.
This isn't settled yet.
-Ha!
Pish, posh!
[laughter]
[laughter]
[theme music]
DENNIS (OFFSCREEN):
Hey, Mr. Wilson!
Are you home?
-No, I'm not.
DENNIS (OFFSCREEN):
But you answered me!
-All right, then.
I'll give you
exactly seconds.
Whoop.
Time's up.
Time's up.
[laughter]
-But I'm not in yet.
-I know.
Just a gentle hint
that I'm very busy.
-Hey, I saw that run-in
you had with Mrs. Elkins
a little while ago.
-Oh, that impossible woman.
She ran smack into me.
-Hey!!
Look at all those feathers!
Boy, what's all this?
-Those are some
things I picked up
last year in the
jungles of Haiti.
My magazine wanted an
article on witchcraft.
Now, if you don't mind--
-Witchcraft!?
Boy, that sounds spooky.
What's this?
Did you play with dolls
when you were in Haiti?
-That is a voodoo doll, Dennis.
Witch doctors use them to
cause unpleasant things
to happen to people
they don't like.
-Yeah?
How?
-Well, for example, if a witch
doctor wanted to put a hex
on some disagreeable person,
say, like, Mrs. Elkins--
-Mrs. Elkins?
-Yes.
This doll would
represent Mrs. Elkins.
The witch doctor would stick
this pin in it, close his eyes
and say, Aba goo, aba
goo, boo la ah, a tone-ee.
-What would that do?
-Oh,there's no telling.
Something awful
might happen to her.
She might even disappear.
-Gee, I bet you know a
lot about witch doctors.
-Oh, you bet I do.
I lived for three days
with the witch doctor.
He told me everything he knew.
-Golly!
-Now, suppose this doll
represented you, Dennis,
and I wanted to
make you disappear.
Aba goo, aba goooo--
-Okay, I'm going!
[laughter]
-Here's the only
dollar I can find.
-Well, this'll do okay, I guess.
Now where did I put that pin?
Oh yeah, here.
-That's all you need,
just a doll and a pin?
-Yeah.
First, you stick the
pin in, like this.
Then you close your eyes
and say the magic words.
Aba goo, aba goo--
-Hey, Dennis?
Who're we putting this hex on?
-Hey, that's right.
Do you know anybody that
you want to make disappear?
-How about Jimmy Peters?
He's a wise guy.
-OK.
Aba goo, aba goo--
-No, wait.
He owes me a nickle.
I don't want him to
disappear until I get it.
[laughter]
-Come on, we got to
think of somebody.
-Uh-oh, here comes
that dumb old Margaret!
-Go ahead.
Try it on her.
-OK.
First, we stick the pin in.
Aba goo, aba goo, goo la moo--
-Bologna!
[laughter]
-It worked, she's gone!
-Aw, she didn't disappear.
-I bet even a real witch
doctor couldn't get rid
of that dumb old Margaret.
[laughter]
-I heard my name mentioned.
Don't you know it's
impolite to talk
about people behind their backs?
-Oh, we weren't talking
behind your back, Margaret,
you were coming straight at us!
-Well, well, since when do
boys start playing with dolls?
-This is a voodoo
doll, Margaret,
and you don't know how close it
came to making you disappear.
-Ha, ha, ha!
Where'd you get that nonsense?
-From Mr. Wilson, that's who.
-Tell her what he's
doing to Mrs. Elkins
cause she ran into him.
-He's putting a hex on her.
Mr. Wilson knows all
about witch doctor stuff.
-What's he doing to her?
-I don't know,
but a witch doctor
can make anything happen.
-Hey, let's go see Mrs.
Elkins and find out.
-Yeah, come on!
-That's the silliest
thing I've ever heard of.
-Well, if you think
it's so silly,
what are you tagging along for?
-I just want to see you when
you find out how stupid you are.
[laughter]
-Well, children,
you still haven't
told me the reason
for your visit.
-They've been too busy eating.
-Well, Dennis?
-Has anything bad happened
to you today, Mrs. Elkins?
-Tommy!
-Bad?
-I should say so.
Ever since she got
up this morning.
This has been a
terrible day for her.
-What happened?
-Well, first she dropped one
of her best china plates,
and, and then she
cut her finger,
and then her cat scratched her.
-What made your cat
do that, Mrs. Elkins?
-Why, I don't know.
She never did anything
like that before.
I don't know what got into her.
[laughter]
-Why are you staring
at me like that?
-Who, us?
[laughter]
-Why don't you tell her, Dennis?
-That new Mr. Wilson
put a hex on you.
-A hex?
-Now, Tommy, I'll
have to tell her.
Well, Mr. Wilson stuck
a pin in a voodoo doll.
Something bad might be
happening to you today.
-Now what kind of
ridiculous talk is that?
-Oh, it isn't ridiculous
talk, Mrs. Elkins.
Mr. Wilson knows all about
being a witch doctor.
-Witch doctor?
-Yeah!
He lived with one in Haiti
and he learned all voodoo,
and putting hexes
on people, and--
-Now that's enough of that.
I don't find this sort
of talk at all amusing.
[meowing]
-For goodness sake, Lucy!
You better do something
about those cats.
Sounds like somebody
put a hex on them.
-Would everybody please
stop talking about hexes?
As if there
were such a thing.
[meowing]
[window opening]
-Buff, Tabby!
Stop that!
Witch doctor!
[window slams]
[laughter]
-Gracious, Lucy, you
might have been hurt!
-Jeepers!
It's really working!
[laughter]
-Stop it, all of you.
It's absurd.
That man's no more a
witch doctor than I am,
is he, Tinkerbell?
[cat yowls]
[laughter]
-Wow!
That cat must know something.
They pal around with
witches, you know.
[laughter]
-That's enough.
Children, you'll have
to run along now.
Thank you for coming.
Good-bye.
-Good-bye, Mrs. Elkins.
-Goodbye.
-Goodbye.
And good luck.
-Goodbye.
-Goodbye.
-Carrie, you don't believe
that man Wilson had
anything to do with
all this, do you?
-Well, after all, Lucy,
you did smash up his car
and he warned you he'd
do something about it.
Well, something is making
all these things happen.
-Oh!
It's too ridiculous.
I refuse to be intimidated.
[phone rings]
[glass breaking]
[cat yowls]
[laughter]
[phone rings]
-Oh, I'm coming!
I'm coming.
[phone rings]
-Hello?
Oh, Maybelle.
Say, what do you know
about that Mr. Wilson?
Well, I'm beginning
to wonder about him.
Strange things have
been happening.
-Well, thank you, Alice.
Oh my, that looks delicious.
You've been working so hard on
that magazine article of yours,
I thought you deserved
a nice home-baked cake.
-That was very
thoughtful of you.
-Oh, and if you have any
trouble finishing it,
I'm sure Dennis will
be happy to help you.
As a neighborly
gesture, of course.
-I'm sure he will.
Oh, and speaking
of neighbors, I've
been thinking about
giving a little party
so I could meet some
of your nice neighbors.
-Oh, what a good idea!
-And I wondered if you and
Henry would act as co-hosts
and help with the
invitation list?
-Of course.
We'd love to.
-I had intended doing
this much sooner,
but I've been so busy writing
my next magazine article.
-Yes.
Dennis tells me you're
quite an expert on voodoo.
In fact, he thinks you're
something of a witch doctor.
-Well, he was rather impressed
with the paraphernalia
I've collected.
-He certainly was.
-Incidentally, I have
some film and recorded
tribal ceremonies and rituals.
I could show those
at the party if you
think the guests would be
interested in such a thing.
-I think that's
a wonderful idea!
-And that gives me another idea.
We could send out
the invitations
with little voodoo
dolls attached.
-Mr. Wilson, I think you have
a little Elsa Maxwell in you.
Well, I better be going.
-Oh, uh, just a minute.
I'll walk out with you.
When you arrived, I
was just going out
to sweep up the glass from
that accident this morning.
I forgot all about it.
I don't want anyone
to cut a tire on it.
-You'll invite Mrs. Elkins
to your party, of course?
-Well of course!
You can't have a witch
doctor party without a witch.
[laughter]
-Well.
-Thank you.
Now you let us know
just as soon as you
need us to help with
the arrangements.
-Thanks again, Alice.
-All right.
Bye.
-Bye.
[car driving]
[laughter]
[car tire blowout]
[laughter]
-I tried to warn you!
[laughter]
-And for no reason
at all, Agnes,
he ran out and put
a hex on my tire.
[laughter]
-Why, my goodness!
That Lucy Elkins was right.
-Oh, yes!
He's a witch doctor for sure!
He even had a broom.
[laughter]
-A broom?
Well, I never!
Carrie, I'll call
you right back.
I've got to tell
Hazel about this.
[laughter]
-And I checked all
the addresses for you.
-Oh, splendid, Alice.
I appreciate your helping
me with the guest list.
And now I better see about
getting some voodoo dolls
to go along with
the invitations.
Do you have a five
and dime store handy?
-Well, Smalley's is the closest.
-Can I go with you, Mr. Wilson?
I'll show you where it is.
-All right, Dennis.
Thank you.
-Sounds like you're going
to have a real swell party.
-When John Wilson gives
a party, it's a real--
-Wingding.
-Wingding.
That's the word.
And a rooty- toot- toot!
-Come on, my boy.
-I tell you, Lucy Elkins
hasn't been the same
since he stuck a pin
in that voodoo doll.
-And he seemed like
such a nice man.
-Looks can be
deceiving, Mr. Smalley.
-He's a witch doctor, all right.
Why, yesterday in
the market, he just
looked at Amy Putnam
and she got the hives.
-Oh, Amy Putnam
can get the hives
just looking at strawberries.
-But she wasn't looking
at strawberries.
She was buying lamb chops.
[laughter]
[bell ringing]
-Speak of the devil!
-Good morning.
-Hi, Mr. Smalley.
-Hello, Dennis.
-I want to buy some dolls.
[laughter]
-Yes, small ones,
about there so.
-You know, Mr.
Smalley, like the kind
you make into voodoo dolls.
[laughter]
-Dennis, I wanted
to keep that secret.
[laughter]
-H-h-how many dolls do you want?
-Well, let's see.
How many people I
have to take care of.
[laughter]
-About a dozen.
[laughter]
-I see.
-Better make it .
I might decide to
include someone
else at the last minute.
[laughter] [theme music]
-Jeepers, they looked like
they were scared of something.
[laughter]
-Uhh, Mr. Wilson, I don't have
dolls like you want on hand.
I, I may have some
in the stock room.
Uh, uh, it'll take
a little while.
-Well then, I'll come back.
Eh-- you won't disappoint
me, will you Mr. Smalley?
-Oh no no, no.
[laughter]
-Hey, Mr. Wilson,
are you going to send
Mr. Smalley a doll, too?
He's a neighbor.
-Oh?
Oh, are you a neighbor
of mine, Mr. Smalley?
-Who, me?
Oh, no, sir.
I live miles away.
[laughter]
-When did you move?
-Tomorrow.
[laughter]
-What would Mr. Wilson
be doing with dolls?
-Well, one sure thing is, he
isn't gonna play Santa Claus.
-He's gonna make voodoo dolls.
-Voodoo dolls?
-That's why we called you.
Sargent Mooney, people
are in mortal peril!
[laughter]
-Don't you think you ladies are
making a big fuss over nothing?
Witch doctors--
that's kid stuff.
-You wouldn't say that if he
tried to slam a window down
on your head, and turned
your old cat against you.
[laughter]
-What you want me to do?
-Investigate him.
-Arrest him.
-I can't arrest a man
just for-- for dolls.
All right, all right.
The law must protect
the community.
All members of it.
So, I will look into the matter.
Ladies.
[laughter]
-You hear that?
That's what I want
to play at the party.
[tribal music]
-Isn't that something?
Oh, that's fascinating.
That'll teach me to complain
about rock and roll.
-Jeepers, that's keen.
Well, what are they doing?
-Well, it's an ancient
tribal ceremony.
The warriors are being driven
to a frenzy by the witch doctor,
before going into battle.
This goes on all night.
Let me show you.
[tribal music]
Now, the witch doctor puts on
all these things, like this.
He wears a mask,
and a headdress,
and the gyrations
he goes through!
Ooo- ooh- whoo- whoo--
-(LAUGHING)
-Whoa, I'm going to learn
that kind of dancing.
-You'll never get that in
dancing school, my boy.
[laughter]
-I'll tell you what.
Why don't you two sit
down right over there,
and I'll go through the
whole ceremonial for you.
-Good.
[tribal music]
-Boy, he sure knows a
lot about witch doctors.
[tribal music]
[drums beating]
[laughter]
[drums beating]
[drums and tribal music]
[laughter]
[drums and tribal music]
-Now I've seen everything.
[laughter]
-So, I think it's up to us
to do something about it,
since we can't depend
upon the police to act.
-And after what you
yourself saw yesterday.
-But my hands are tied.
I talked to the chief.
And there's nothing in the
book that says a man cannot
entertain a tribe of
headhunters in his own home,
if he wants to.
-The nerve of that man.
Sending people voodoo dolls.
And asking them to
come to a party.
-Uh, have you got one
of those voodoo dolls?
-Right here.
-Having a party Friday at eight.
Lots of fun, so don't be late.
RSVP.
-My answer is a firm no.
-I'm not going, either.
-I wouldn't go near
that man's house.
-Hadn't we better get Henry
and Alice Mitchell on our side?
-Oh, you know them.
Sitting right next
door, they're probably
already taken in by him.
-Here, uh, you better take this.
[laughter]
-Lucy, aren't you afraid
to keep that doll around?
-I've already been hexed.
But who will be next?
That's the point.
[laughter]
-Henry, there's
something fishy going on.
Everybody's calling up to say
they're not coming to my party.
-Well, that's strange.
Hasn't anyone accepted?
-Yes, you and Alice.
Am I being deliberately
snubbed for some reason?
-I don't know why, John.
I thought everyone was
anxious to meet you.
Uh, OK, we'll see you tonight.
So long, John.
-Goodbye, Henry.
-Isn't that something, though?
-What's the matter?
-Looks like you and
I are going to be
the only guests at
the party tonight.
You mean everybody's
refusing to come?
-But they can't do
that to Mr. Wilson.
He's going to a lot of
trouble to have this party.
-John sounded like he was
taking it pretty hard.
-The poor man.
This is dreadful.
-It's not fair.
-Where are you off to, son?
-I'm going to see that
he isn't disappointed.
Mr. Wilson's going
to have his party.
[door slams]
-There's no sign of
a party going on.
-We've got the right night.
-Oh, it's the right
night, all right.
-Well, I guess we
cooked his goose.
-Serves him right, him
and his black magic.
-My goodness, who was that?
-That looked like
little Jerry Spinks.
-Oh?
What's he doing, going into
that awful man's house?
-There's no telling.
I wonder how many other
children he's got in there.
-Ohh.
-I'd better go and call Jerry's
mother, and Sargent Mooney,
too.
[laughter]
-Isn't that pretty?
(CHORUS OF VOICES)YES!
-Now, this is old Aba Tu,
the chief of the tribe.
I-- I guess he didn't
heed the warning
to brush his teeth
after every meal.
-[children laughing]
-Now, here's the native village.
Uh, notice the grass huts.
You have to be very careful
when you mow your lawn,
or you'll find
yourself homeless.
[laughter]
-Aren't the children fascinated?
-Yes.
It's a shame their
parents didn't come.
Threw me for a loop when
Smalley told me why.
[laughter]
[doorbell]
-Oh, hello Mrs. Mitchell.
Uh, Mrs. Elkins said all
the kids in the neighborhood
are here.
What's going on, exactly?
-Why don't you all
come in and see?
-Well, we've just
come for our children.
[laughter]
-Sargeant Mooney
-Hello, Mr. Mitchell.
-Well, I see we have
some more guests.
I'm delighted that
our adult neighbors
decided to join
the younger group.
[laughter]
-Come in.
Come in.
-Now, this is the
dreaded crocodile.
Every year, these creatures
take a countless toll
of human lives.
Now these are the
native warriors.
These men are recognized as the
bravest in the entire world.
There are only two
things they're afraid of.
The crocodile and their wives.
The warriors' wives, that
is, not the crocodiles'.
[laughter]
-I don't see anything
wrong going on here.
[laughter]
-And that concludes
our little showing.
For the benefit of
those who came in late,
that film was taken
on my recent trip
to Haiti, where I was gathering
material for a magazine article
on the subject of voodoo.
-Which hardly makes him a witch
doctor, does it, Mrs. Elkins?
[laughter]
-And getting back to the
subject of witch doctors--
the witch doctor only
is feared because
of ignorance and superstition.
The same things
that set neighbor
against neighbor, and
people against people, all
over the world.
-Just like it happened
in our neighborhood.
-That's right.
And now, if my co-hosts
Mr. And Mrs. Mitchell
would lead you to
the dining room,
I'm sure you'd all
enjoy some refreshments.
I hope there's
enough to go around.
Thanks to Dennis'
little, uh, club meeting,
there's a larger
turnout than I expected.
-Won't you join us, Mrs. Elkins?
-Well, I guess I can
stay for a minute.
-You sure thought up a
swell party, Mr. Wilson.
-Well, I didn't think
it up alone, Tommy.
This was a case of two
heads being better than one.
Right, Dennis?
-Yeah, and with all that ice
cream in there, right now
I'm thinking two tummies
would be better than
[laughter]
-I'll lend you mine.
[laughter]
-Come on, children.
Come on.
[applause]
[theme music]