03x28 - The Treasure Chest
Posted: 11/12/23 06:26
-Thank you, gentlemen.
Ladies and gentlemen, this
I wanted to keep for myself.
But according to law, everything
here must go up for bidding.
This magnificent old seaman's
chest, genuine teak wood,
with real brass
fittings all around,
left unclaimed by
some unknown seafarer.
-What's in it,
Mister Auctioneer?
-Who knows, my boy?
But that's a very good question.
I like a curious boy.
After all, if Columbus
hadn't been curious,
America would never
have been discovered.
[chuckling]
Folks, there is no
key to this chest,
therefore the
contents are unknown.
Now, we can start the
bidding for the low storage
charge, $ .
-I'll bid $ .
-I have $ .
Do I hear ?
Do I hear ?
Oh, come come,
ladies and gentlemen.
Who knows what this fabulous
treasure chest may contain?
Pearls from the Orient,
Spanish doubloons.
A fortune in spices, a
king's ransom in rubies.
-Jeepers, Mr. Wilson,
that's really something.
-You may be right, Dennis.
$ .
-I have $ .
-Do I hear ?
-$ .
-It may be full of silver.
-$ .
-$ has been bid.
-$ .
-Or maybe full of gold.
-$ .
-$ .
-Or maybe even diamonds.
-$ .
-$ , going once,
$ going twice,
and sold for $ to that
adventurous soul down
there wearing the purple tie.
Would you see the
cashier, please?
-Hey, Mr. Wilson,
why did you bid $
when nobody raised your $ ?
-What?
Oh, good grief.
[theme music]
-This is the last one.
Oh, blast.
These keys don't fit either.
-George, you've been trying to
open that chest all afternoon.
-Well Martha, I've got
to know what's in it.
-Did you get the chest open yet?
-No, he hasn't, Dennis.
-Jeepers, I brought Tommy
over to see the treasure.
-I'm afraid we're
just going to have
to go after it with a hammer
and chisel, Mr. Wilson.
-Oh no, Mitchell.
I couldn't spoil a
genuine teak wood chest.
No, I'll have to
call a locksmith.
It'll cost me $ , but
it'll be well worth it.
-Well, you'll just have to
call him tomorrow, dear.
We're already late
for the Timberlakes.
-Oh, all right, Martha.
I guess I can wait another day
to find out I'm a millionaire.
Thanks for your keys, Mitchell.
-Sorry they weren't
any help, Mr. Wilson.
Oh Dennis, come on home soon.
Dinner's almost ready.
-OK, Dad.
-Boy, this is some
chest, isn't it, Tommy?
-Yeah.
But what good is it if
you can't get it open?
-It's too bad my mom wasn't
here instead of my dad.
She can open anything
with a hair pin.
-Hey, I got a piece of wire.
Here it is.
-Boy, if we could open
the chest with this,
it sure would help Mr. Wilson.
-Save him $ .
-Come on, let's try it.
-How does your
mom do it, Dennis?
-Well, she sticks the
hair pin in the key hole
and jiggles it around like this.
-You did it, Dennis.
-Wow, look at all
this swell stuff.
-Boy, I bet this belonged
to an old sea captain.
-A spy glass.
This is what pirates used
to look for ships to rob.
-Hey, Dennis, where's
all the treasure
that's supposed to be in here?
-I don't know.
The pirates probably buried
it on some desert island.
Hey, we better put
all this stuff back.
I've got to get home for dinner.
Poor old Mr. Wilson,
he was expecting
to find pearls and rubies
and Spanish balloons.
Well, see you tomorrow, Tommy.
-Bye, Dennis.
-Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
No.
For heaven's sakes, Johnny, I
thought you were a locksmith.
-Take it easy, Mr. Wilson.
After all, this is a
very complicated lock.
And besides, it's rusted.
Probably from the salt water.
-Oh, fiddle faddle.
My mother could have opened
that with a hair pin.
-Yes?
I think I got it.
Yeah, there it is.
-I'll do that.
-What's in there?
-Oh, never mind what's in there.
Here's your money.
Goodbye.
-OK.
OK!
OK.
Happy treasure hunting.
-I wonder if I'll have to
report this loot to the Internal
Revenue department.
-Hi, Mr. Wilson.
-Oh, Dennis!
Oh, for heaven's sakes,
now look what you've done.
It's locked again.
I'll have to get Johnny back.
Johnny!
-Wait, Mr. Wilson.
I can open it.
Here it is.
-Johnny, come back here.
Wait.
Oh, blast.
He got away.
-Oh now, Dennis, will you--
well, how did this get open?
-I opened it, Mr.
Wilson, with this.
-You opened it with
that piece of wire?
-Sure.
You see, I didn't
have a hair pin.
-A hair pin?
And I just gave Johnny--
oh, great Scott.
Oh, well.
Let's see what's in here.
What's this?
Oh, good grief.
Why, there's nothing
in here but junk.
-I wouldn't call it
junk, Mr. Wilson.
You could have a lot with
this stuff playing Pirates.
-Well, I could have a lot of
fun with the $ it cost me too.
-Can maybe Tommy
and I play with it?
-Oh, no.
I-- I don't care
what you do with it.
Ooh!
-Do you think we got enough
pirate stuff in here, Tommy?
If we're gonna charge kids,
we gotta make it interesting.
-I forgot the starfish.
That's interesting.
-Hey, I know what
we ought to put in.
A map, show them where
buried treasure is.
-What buried treasure?
-Any buried treasure.
Everybody knows pirates
buried their treasure way out
on some desert island.
-That's a keen idea, Dennis.
But where are we gonna
get this treasure map?
-We'll make one.
Here, we'll draw it on
this old piece of paper.
-What'll we draw it with?
-Here.
We'll do it with a piece of
good old Mr. Wilson's barbecue
charcoal.
-Good thinking, Dennis.
-Pirate Dennis.
-OK, Pirate Dennis.
And remember, I'm Captain Kid.
-OK.
Now I'll draw a desert island.
-Have you ever seen
a desert island?
-No.
But the other kids
haven't either.
-Good thinking.
-Now, here's where the boat
lands with the treasure.
-And that's where we bury it?
-No, we've got to
make it hard to find.
-Good thinking.
-We've got steps
till we come to a tree.
-What kind of a tree?
-Oh, a cherry tree.
Then we climb the tree and
look through the spy glass
until we see a rock.
And that'll be Dead Man's Rock.
-Boy, that's neat.
-Then we climb the rock and
look through the spy glass
until we see a cave.
-How far is the cave?
-Oh, about two miles.
And that's where the
treasure is buried.
I'll mark it with an X.
-Shouldn't the
island have a name?
-Good thinking, Captain Kid.
Do you know any islands?
-Hm.
How about Coney Island?
-Nah, that's too full of people.
-Hey, during the w*r, my pop
was on a Marshall Island.
That's way out in
the Pacific Ocean.
-Good thinking.
How do you spell
Marshall Island?
-I think it's M-A-R-S-H--
-That's enough.
R-S-H-- there.
-Let me see it.
Ow.
-Gee, what happened, Tommy?
-I cut myself on
that sharp edge.
-Oh, it sure is bleeding.
-It doesn't hurt much.
-Boy, that sure is
a keen map, Dennis.
Looks real as anything.
-Watch it, Tommy.
You're getting blood on it.
Now we'll fold it up and put
it in the captain's coat.
Now we're ready for business.
Pirate's mysterious sea chest.
One look, one cent.
Giant economy sized
look, two cents.
-Boy Mom, the pirate
business sure was good.
Tommy and I collected
$ . today.
-Oh, that's wonderful, dear.
-We should have collected $ . ,
but that stingy Billy Watson
took a giant economy sized
look and only gave us a penny.
-That's too bad.
-No.
If we'd have collected $ . ,
how would we divide it?
-Mr. Wilson, it's me, Buzz.
-Oh yes, Buzz.
Right in here.
-Mrs. Wilson said you
had something to go.
-Indeed I do.
This old seaman's chest.
-Looks like a bunch of junk.
-Oh, there's some
odds and ends here
that maybe somebody
will have use for.
This is a good, heavy jacket.
-Did you check the pockets?
-Oh, there wouldn't be
anything in these pockets.
Maybe some, oh, hardtack or
barnacles or-- wait a minute.
What's this?
Heh.
Just an old map showing
some buried treasure.
-Did you say buried treasure?
-Great Scott!
-Where is the buried treasure?
-Uh, who said anything
about buried treasure?
You must be imagining
things, Buzz.
Now look, I think
you'd better go.
-Well, what about the old chest?
-No.
Don't touch a thing.
I changed my mind.
Now, I think you
better be going now.
-But Mrs. Wilson said--
-Never mind what
Mrs. Wilson said.
Great Scott!
Why, it's even been
signed in blood.
Martha!
-There it is, right
there, close to the mouth
of the Mississippi River.
-I see it, dear.
-Why, that's the territory
where the famous pirate Jean
Lafitte operated.
Just think, Martha.
This could be Lafitte's blood.
He could have fought a duel
over this map, k*lled for it.
-George, must you
be so gruesome?
-It's true, my dear.
When men are on the
trail of buried treasure,
they stop at nothing.
They turn to beasts.
-Oh stop it, George.
You look like Boris Karloff.
-Oh, I do?
Well, I'm sorry, Martha.
I didn't mean to frighten you.
-George, don't you
think you ought
to take this map
somewhere and have
it checked up to see
if it's authentic?
-You mean show this
map to someone else?
I should-- not on your life.
Heh.
Martha, we are going
to Marsh Island.
It'll be a nice trip.
I know.
We'll make it a sort
of second honeymoon.
Martha, wouldn't
it be fun to dig
for buried treasure on
our second honeymoon?
-On our first
honeymoon, you said
I was the only treasure
you'd ever want.
-Well, that was before
I found this map.
Uh-- oh, I mean--
oh, I'm so excited,
I don't know what I mean.
-Better get you
your nerve medicine.
-Oh, never mind.
This map is all the
nerve medicine I need.
Well, it wouldn't be
an expensive trip.
It's not like going to
the ends of the earth.
For a few hundred dollars,
we can drive down there and--
-Would we go alone?
-Well, of course.
You don't think I'm going to let
anyone else in on this, do you?
No, no.
We're not sharing this
treasure with anybody.
-But I've heard that
part of Louisiana
is full of swamps and poisonous
snakes and alligators.
-Oh.
Well, maybe we should share
this with some of our friends.
-Henry, $ is a lot of money.
-Oh, now Alice, why, that's
chicken feed in comparison
with what we might find.
-Well, Mr. Wilson, even if
there was such a treasure,
how can you be sure
it's still there?
-Alice, you sound
just like Martha.
Well, if somebody had
discovered the treasure,
would the map still be around?
-That makes sense.
-Oh, believe me.
I'm not letting just
anybody in on this deal.
Only my closest friends.
Now, I figure with,
say, five of us,
it would only cost
us $ a piece.
-That much?
-Oh, come Maurice, come.
What's $ nowadays?
-OK, Mr. Wilson.
I think I can raise $ .
-Oh.
Now you're talking.
-Let's see now.
New picture tube, $ ,
transformer, $ , and labor
charge $ .
There's my .
-A $ repair bill.
Are you out of your mind?
-Come on now, Mr. Wilson.
Like you said,
what's $ nowadays?
-Oh, for Pete's sake.
-All right, folks.
Step a little closer for a
look at the famous old pirate's
chest.
Who can tell what fabulous
treasures this chest contains?
Perhaps pearls of the
orient and Spanish balloons.
-Balloons?
-Yeah, balloons.
-Do you, by any
chance, mean doubloons?
-For one cent, you can
find out, Margaret.
That's all it takes, folks.
Just one cent to see what's
inside this fabulous sea chest.
-Well--
-It's right in here,
Mr. Timberlake.
Oh Dennis, what
are you doing here?
-Hi, Mr. Wilson.
Hi, Mr. Timberlake.
We're having a showing
of your pirate's chest.
-Well Dennis, I'm sorry
to interrupt your play,
but Mr. Timberlake and I have
some confidential business
to discuss.
So run along, all of you.
-Mr. Wilson, you're
costing us money.
The kids are gonna pay us a
penny to see what's inside.
-Maybe two cents.
-Oh.
Well, here.
Here's a quarter.
Business is over for the day.
Now shoo, scram, everybody.
-Oh boy.
Thanks, Mr. Wilson.
Come on, guys.
We'll let you look at the
pirate's chest tomorrow.
-Well, there it is.
Oh, little do they know the
treasure I found in here, right
in the pocket of this uniform.
-My, oh my, oh my-- you're
quite sure the map's authentic?
-Oh, it has to be.
Why, the paper is
centuries old, and it's
signed in blood, and everything.
-I can hardly wait to see it.
-Of course, I'm
not showing the map
to anyone who doesn't join our
expedition to Marsh Island.
-Oh George, I've always
wanted to study the bird
life in the Louisiana swamps.
-Mr. Timberlake, you're just
the man I'm looking for.
-Well, I understand there's
some very rare specimens
in that region.
For instance, that night
warbler, the nocturnal,
swallow tail snap diver.
-This expedition was just
made to order for you.
Why, you can dig
for treasure by day
and look for the
snap diver at night.
-Oh.
I'm getting goose
pimples all over.
Count me in, George.
Count me in.
-Good!
Yoo-hoo, Martha?
I got them.
-Oh, what are you going
to do with all that?
-Oh, well Martha, this
is just a fraction
of the stuff we're
going to need.
An expedition like this
requires careful preparation.
I just thought maybe you'd
like to see the entire effect.
-George, I have a
feeling something's
going to happen on this trip.
-Well, of course something's
going to happen, my dear.
We're going to find
the buried treasure.
Are you sure you
won't come with us?
-No, dear.
I'd be out of place.
Besides, I haven't
a thing to wear.
-Oh, fiddle faddle.
-Yoo-hoo.
Hi, Mrs. Wilson.
-Hello, Henry.
-Oh good, Mitchell, you
brought it, the Geiger counter.
-And it works swell.
-Martha, this will help
solve any difficulty
we may have in locating
the hidden treasure.
-It seems to get louder
up here by the cupboard.
-Well, of course it does.
That's where Martha keeps her
change-- in the sugar bowl.
You see, my dear, if
there's any treasure around,
this thing'll find it.
-Henry, have you decided
to go in on this after all?
-No, I'm not going
on the expedition.
I'm just risking a few dollars
of Mr. Wilson's say so.
But don't tell Alice.
-Oh, women have no real
spirit of adventure.
-We're just more practical.
-Well, the way I look at it
is, if we each put in a little,
none of us can get hurt.
Incidentally, Mr. Wilson,
when would you like my check?
-Well, the other investors
are bringing theirs
here tomorrow afternoon.
Why don't you come too?
Then I'll show the
treasure map, and we
can make our final preparations.
-Oh, George.
-Oh, now Martha,
don't start worrying.
-I can't help it, dear.
What will happen if you wake
up in the middle of the night
and find an alligator
in your tent?
-Well, if an alligator
wants to join our party,
he'll just have to hand over
a check like everybody else.
Right, Mitchell?
Well, now that the members
of our little syndicate
are all here, the first order of
business is feeding the kitty.
And I, as the head
of the expedition,
will be the first to make
my contribution of $ .
-Here's mine.
-Eh-- oh, Mr. Watterson?
Gentlemen, it should
be reassuring to know
that the president of our
local bank is one of us.
-George, I hope I'm
not making a mistake.
-A mistake?
-Well, after all, it's
quite a big gamble.
-Oh, Mr. Watterson, I feel
so sure of the success
of this venture, if
anything goes wrong,
I'll pay you back double.
In fact, I'll pay
you all back double.
-Well, well, % of my
money, win, lose, or draw.
That's a better deal than
I can get at my own bank.
Count me in.
But I want you to know that
I'm doing this as an individual
and not as a
representative of the bank.
-And I'm doing this
as an individual
and not as a
representative of my wife.
-Uh, how about him?
-Oh, I'm already accounted for.
Right, Mr. Wilson?
-Yes.
He's already accounted for.
Now, gentlemen, the moment
you've all been waiting for.
Will you gather
around me, please?
The unveiling of
the treasure map.
Oh.
First, I want to show you a
picture of the little ship
we've chartered for our venture.
Isn't she a beauty?
-Oh.
-Yes.
-And now, the moment of
truth, the treasure map.
Now, we plan to land on the west
end of the island, about here.
Then we walk steps
to a cherry tree.
-A cherry tree in the
middle of a swamp?
-Yes, that's ridiculous.
Isn't it?
-On the contrary,
it's very clever.
I believe whoever buried
the treasure deliberately
planted a cherry
tree as a marker.
-Just like that
rascal Jean Lafitte--
a shrewd, shrewd old buccaneer.
-Precisely.
And now from the
cherry tree right here,
it should be a simple matter
to locate Dead Man's Rock.
And then from there, it's
obviously only two miles to--
-Hey, Mr. Wilson.
Excuse me for interrupting,
Mr. Wilson, but--
-Dennis, what do you want?
-Son, can't you see
we're having a meeting?
-Yeah.
But Dad, the kids
are waiting outside
to see the pirate chest.
-Oh, Dennis.
-Hey, I've been looking
all over for that.
That's my map.
-Oh Dennis, will
you please leave?
-What do you mean
that's your map?
-Well, Tommy and
I drew it to make
the chest more interesting.
You know, to fool
the kids a little.
-You-- you mean--
oh, good grief.
-I might have known there was
something fishy about this.
Wilson, you can send my $
profit to me at the bank.
-Of all things, George, you
are so incredibly gullible.
You can send my $ profit
to the Lookout Mountain Bird
Sanctuary.
-I already made my profit
on you, Mr. Wilson.
But I'm taking back
my picture tube.
-No.
No.
No!
Well, this is a terrible shock.
-Well, while you're
getting over your shock,
can I take the old captain's
coat and show it to the kids?
-Oh, take it, Dennis.
Take everything.
I never want to see it again.
-Thanks, Mr. Wilson.
Wow.
Look at all the money.
-Oh look, Mr. Wilson.
You found a treasure after all.
-Why, for heaven's sakes,
where did this come from?
-It fell out of this old coat.
Why, there's lots more
money in here too.
-Why, look at this.
Old-fashioned currency.
Why, there's enough here
to pay off everybody I owe
and-- and more besides.
Oh, for heaven's sake.
Martha.
-Is everything
straightened out, George?
-Oh, my dear, it was
manna from heaven.
I paid off everybody
and had enough left over
to cover the cost for
that silly old sea chest.
-Oh, that's wonderful.
[doorbell]
-Oh, now who could that be?
Why, Sergeant Mooney.
-Good morning, George.
-Well, what are you doing
here, looking for a handout?
-Oh, I got my hand
out all right,
but only to catch you
for passing stolen money.
-Stolen money?
-What are you talking
about, Mooney?
-Well, it just so happens that
the money you've been passing
is part of an old cache that's
been missing for years.
Watterson checked
the serial numbers.
-Oh, good heavens.
-Oh, George.
-George, I'm surprised at you.
You might have got
away with it, giving it
to Timberlake and
the TV repairman.
But you should never try to pass
on stolen money to a banker.
Come on, let's go.
-But I didn't know it was-- go?
Go where?
-The FBI would like to have
a long talk with you, George.
-The FBI?
Martha?
-Hey Sergeant Mooney, where
are you taking Mr. Wilson?
-Who knows, Dennis?
Might be a small
island called Alcatraz.
-Alcatraz?
-An island?
Hey Mr. Wilson, if
you're going to look
for more buried
treasure, why don't you
go back down to the auction?
I just went past
there, and they've
got three more sea chests.
-Oh, that's all I need!
Oh, good grief.
Martha!
[theme music]
Ladies and gentlemen, this
I wanted to keep for myself.
But according to law, everything
here must go up for bidding.
This magnificent old seaman's
chest, genuine teak wood,
with real brass
fittings all around,
left unclaimed by
some unknown seafarer.
-What's in it,
Mister Auctioneer?
-Who knows, my boy?
But that's a very good question.
I like a curious boy.
After all, if Columbus
hadn't been curious,
America would never
have been discovered.
[chuckling]
Folks, there is no
key to this chest,
therefore the
contents are unknown.
Now, we can start the
bidding for the low storage
charge, $ .
-I'll bid $ .
-I have $ .
Do I hear ?
Do I hear ?
Oh, come come,
ladies and gentlemen.
Who knows what this fabulous
treasure chest may contain?
Pearls from the Orient,
Spanish doubloons.
A fortune in spices, a
king's ransom in rubies.
-Jeepers, Mr. Wilson,
that's really something.
-You may be right, Dennis.
$ .
-I have $ .
-Do I hear ?
-$ .
-It may be full of silver.
-$ .
-$ has been bid.
-$ .
-Or maybe full of gold.
-$ .
-$ .
-Or maybe even diamonds.
-$ .
-$ , going once,
$ going twice,
and sold for $ to that
adventurous soul down
there wearing the purple tie.
Would you see the
cashier, please?
-Hey, Mr. Wilson,
why did you bid $
when nobody raised your $ ?
-What?
Oh, good grief.
[theme music]
-This is the last one.
Oh, blast.
These keys don't fit either.
-George, you've been trying to
open that chest all afternoon.
-Well Martha, I've got
to know what's in it.
-Did you get the chest open yet?
-No, he hasn't, Dennis.
-Jeepers, I brought Tommy
over to see the treasure.
-I'm afraid we're
just going to have
to go after it with a hammer
and chisel, Mr. Wilson.
-Oh no, Mitchell.
I couldn't spoil a
genuine teak wood chest.
No, I'll have to
call a locksmith.
It'll cost me $ , but
it'll be well worth it.
-Well, you'll just have to
call him tomorrow, dear.
We're already late
for the Timberlakes.
-Oh, all right, Martha.
I guess I can wait another day
to find out I'm a millionaire.
Thanks for your keys, Mitchell.
-Sorry they weren't
any help, Mr. Wilson.
Oh Dennis, come on home soon.
Dinner's almost ready.
-OK, Dad.
-Boy, this is some
chest, isn't it, Tommy?
-Yeah.
But what good is it if
you can't get it open?
-It's too bad my mom wasn't
here instead of my dad.
She can open anything
with a hair pin.
-Hey, I got a piece of wire.
Here it is.
-Boy, if we could open
the chest with this,
it sure would help Mr. Wilson.
-Save him $ .
-Come on, let's try it.
-How does your
mom do it, Dennis?
-Well, she sticks the
hair pin in the key hole
and jiggles it around like this.
-You did it, Dennis.
-Wow, look at all
this swell stuff.
-Boy, I bet this belonged
to an old sea captain.
-A spy glass.
This is what pirates used
to look for ships to rob.
-Hey, Dennis, where's
all the treasure
that's supposed to be in here?
-I don't know.
The pirates probably buried
it on some desert island.
Hey, we better put
all this stuff back.
I've got to get home for dinner.
Poor old Mr. Wilson,
he was expecting
to find pearls and rubies
and Spanish balloons.
Well, see you tomorrow, Tommy.
-Bye, Dennis.
-Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
No.
For heaven's sakes, Johnny, I
thought you were a locksmith.
-Take it easy, Mr. Wilson.
After all, this is a
very complicated lock.
And besides, it's rusted.
Probably from the salt water.
-Oh, fiddle faddle.
My mother could have opened
that with a hair pin.
-Yes?
I think I got it.
Yeah, there it is.
-I'll do that.
-What's in there?
-Oh, never mind what's in there.
Here's your money.
Goodbye.
-OK.
OK!
OK.
Happy treasure hunting.
-I wonder if I'll have to
report this loot to the Internal
Revenue department.
-Hi, Mr. Wilson.
-Oh, Dennis!
Oh, for heaven's sakes,
now look what you've done.
It's locked again.
I'll have to get Johnny back.
Johnny!
-Wait, Mr. Wilson.
I can open it.
Here it is.
-Johnny, come back here.
Wait.
Oh, blast.
He got away.
-Oh now, Dennis, will you--
well, how did this get open?
-I opened it, Mr.
Wilson, with this.
-You opened it with
that piece of wire?
-Sure.
You see, I didn't
have a hair pin.
-A hair pin?
And I just gave Johnny--
oh, great Scott.
Oh, well.
Let's see what's in here.
What's this?
Oh, good grief.
Why, there's nothing
in here but junk.
-I wouldn't call it
junk, Mr. Wilson.
You could have a lot with
this stuff playing Pirates.
-Well, I could have a lot of
fun with the $ it cost me too.
-Can maybe Tommy
and I play with it?
-Oh, no.
I-- I don't care
what you do with it.
Ooh!
-Do you think we got enough
pirate stuff in here, Tommy?
If we're gonna charge kids,
we gotta make it interesting.
-I forgot the starfish.
That's interesting.
-Hey, I know what
we ought to put in.
A map, show them where
buried treasure is.
-What buried treasure?
-Any buried treasure.
Everybody knows pirates
buried their treasure way out
on some desert island.
-That's a keen idea, Dennis.
But where are we gonna
get this treasure map?
-We'll make one.
Here, we'll draw it on
this old piece of paper.
-What'll we draw it with?
-Here.
We'll do it with a piece of
good old Mr. Wilson's barbecue
charcoal.
-Good thinking, Dennis.
-Pirate Dennis.
-OK, Pirate Dennis.
And remember, I'm Captain Kid.
-OK.
Now I'll draw a desert island.
-Have you ever seen
a desert island?
-No.
But the other kids
haven't either.
-Good thinking.
-Now, here's where the boat
lands with the treasure.
-And that's where we bury it?
-No, we've got to
make it hard to find.
-Good thinking.
-We've got steps
till we come to a tree.
-What kind of a tree?
-Oh, a cherry tree.
Then we climb the tree and
look through the spy glass
until we see a rock.
And that'll be Dead Man's Rock.
-Boy, that's neat.
-Then we climb the rock and
look through the spy glass
until we see a cave.
-How far is the cave?
-Oh, about two miles.
And that's where the
treasure is buried.
I'll mark it with an X.
-Shouldn't the
island have a name?
-Good thinking, Captain Kid.
Do you know any islands?
-Hm.
How about Coney Island?
-Nah, that's too full of people.
-Hey, during the w*r, my pop
was on a Marshall Island.
That's way out in
the Pacific Ocean.
-Good thinking.
How do you spell
Marshall Island?
-I think it's M-A-R-S-H--
-That's enough.
R-S-H-- there.
-Let me see it.
Ow.
-Gee, what happened, Tommy?
-I cut myself on
that sharp edge.
-Oh, it sure is bleeding.
-It doesn't hurt much.
-Boy, that sure is
a keen map, Dennis.
Looks real as anything.
-Watch it, Tommy.
You're getting blood on it.
Now we'll fold it up and put
it in the captain's coat.
Now we're ready for business.
Pirate's mysterious sea chest.
One look, one cent.
Giant economy sized
look, two cents.
-Boy Mom, the pirate
business sure was good.
Tommy and I collected
$ . today.
-Oh, that's wonderful, dear.
-We should have collected $ . ,
but that stingy Billy Watson
took a giant economy sized
look and only gave us a penny.
-That's too bad.
-No.
If we'd have collected $ . ,
how would we divide it?
-Mr. Wilson, it's me, Buzz.
-Oh yes, Buzz.
Right in here.
-Mrs. Wilson said you
had something to go.
-Indeed I do.
This old seaman's chest.
-Looks like a bunch of junk.
-Oh, there's some
odds and ends here
that maybe somebody
will have use for.
This is a good, heavy jacket.
-Did you check the pockets?
-Oh, there wouldn't be
anything in these pockets.
Maybe some, oh, hardtack or
barnacles or-- wait a minute.
What's this?
Heh.
Just an old map showing
some buried treasure.
-Did you say buried treasure?
-Great Scott!
-Where is the buried treasure?
-Uh, who said anything
about buried treasure?
You must be imagining
things, Buzz.
Now look, I think
you'd better go.
-Well, what about the old chest?
-No.
Don't touch a thing.
I changed my mind.
Now, I think you
better be going now.
-But Mrs. Wilson said--
-Never mind what
Mrs. Wilson said.
Great Scott!
Why, it's even been
signed in blood.
Martha!
-There it is, right
there, close to the mouth
of the Mississippi River.
-I see it, dear.
-Why, that's the territory
where the famous pirate Jean
Lafitte operated.
Just think, Martha.
This could be Lafitte's blood.
He could have fought a duel
over this map, k*lled for it.
-George, must you
be so gruesome?
-It's true, my dear.
When men are on the
trail of buried treasure,
they stop at nothing.
They turn to beasts.
-Oh stop it, George.
You look like Boris Karloff.
-Oh, I do?
Well, I'm sorry, Martha.
I didn't mean to frighten you.
-George, don't you
think you ought
to take this map
somewhere and have
it checked up to see
if it's authentic?
-You mean show this
map to someone else?
I should-- not on your life.
Heh.
Martha, we are going
to Marsh Island.
It'll be a nice trip.
I know.
We'll make it a sort
of second honeymoon.
Martha, wouldn't
it be fun to dig
for buried treasure on
our second honeymoon?
-On our first
honeymoon, you said
I was the only treasure
you'd ever want.
-Well, that was before
I found this map.
Uh-- oh, I mean--
oh, I'm so excited,
I don't know what I mean.
-Better get you
your nerve medicine.
-Oh, never mind.
This map is all the
nerve medicine I need.
Well, it wouldn't be
an expensive trip.
It's not like going to
the ends of the earth.
For a few hundred dollars,
we can drive down there and--
-Would we go alone?
-Well, of course.
You don't think I'm going to let
anyone else in on this, do you?
No, no.
We're not sharing this
treasure with anybody.
-But I've heard that
part of Louisiana
is full of swamps and poisonous
snakes and alligators.
-Oh.
Well, maybe we should share
this with some of our friends.
-Henry, $ is a lot of money.
-Oh, now Alice, why, that's
chicken feed in comparison
with what we might find.
-Well, Mr. Wilson, even if
there was such a treasure,
how can you be sure
it's still there?
-Alice, you sound
just like Martha.
Well, if somebody had
discovered the treasure,
would the map still be around?
-That makes sense.
-Oh, believe me.
I'm not letting just
anybody in on this deal.
Only my closest friends.
Now, I figure with,
say, five of us,
it would only cost
us $ a piece.
-That much?
-Oh, come Maurice, come.
What's $ nowadays?
-OK, Mr. Wilson.
I think I can raise $ .
-Oh.
Now you're talking.
-Let's see now.
New picture tube, $ ,
transformer, $ , and labor
charge $ .
There's my .
-A $ repair bill.
Are you out of your mind?
-Come on now, Mr. Wilson.
Like you said,
what's $ nowadays?
-Oh, for Pete's sake.
-All right, folks.
Step a little closer for a
look at the famous old pirate's
chest.
Who can tell what fabulous
treasures this chest contains?
Perhaps pearls of the
orient and Spanish balloons.
-Balloons?
-Yeah, balloons.
-Do you, by any
chance, mean doubloons?
-For one cent, you can
find out, Margaret.
That's all it takes, folks.
Just one cent to see what's
inside this fabulous sea chest.
-Well--
-It's right in here,
Mr. Timberlake.
Oh Dennis, what
are you doing here?
-Hi, Mr. Wilson.
Hi, Mr. Timberlake.
We're having a showing
of your pirate's chest.
-Well Dennis, I'm sorry
to interrupt your play,
but Mr. Timberlake and I have
some confidential business
to discuss.
So run along, all of you.
-Mr. Wilson, you're
costing us money.
The kids are gonna pay us a
penny to see what's inside.
-Maybe two cents.
-Oh.
Well, here.
Here's a quarter.
Business is over for the day.
Now shoo, scram, everybody.
-Oh boy.
Thanks, Mr. Wilson.
Come on, guys.
We'll let you look at the
pirate's chest tomorrow.
-Well, there it is.
Oh, little do they know the
treasure I found in here, right
in the pocket of this uniform.
-My, oh my, oh my-- you're
quite sure the map's authentic?
-Oh, it has to be.
Why, the paper is
centuries old, and it's
signed in blood, and everything.
-I can hardly wait to see it.
-Of course, I'm
not showing the map
to anyone who doesn't join our
expedition to Marsh Island.
-Oh George, I've always
wanted to study the bird
life in the Louisiana swamps.
-Mr. Timberlake, you're just
the man I'm looking for.
-Well, I understand there's
some very rare specimens
in that region.
For instance, that night
warbler, the nocturnal,
swallow tail snap diver.
-This expedition was just
made to order for you.
Why, you can dig
for treasure by day
and look for the
snap diver at night.
-Oh.
I'm getting goose
pimples all over.
Count me in, George.
Count me in.
-Good!
Yoo-hoo, Martha?
I got them.
-Oh, what are you going
to do with all that?
-Oh, well Martha, this
is just a fraction
of the stuff we're
going to need.
An expedition like this
requires careful preparation.
I just thought maybe you'd
like to see the entire effect.
-George, I have a
feeling something's
going to happen on this trip.
-Well, of course something's
going to happen, my dear.
We're going to find
the buried treasure.
Are you sure you
won't come with us?
-No, dear.
I'd be out of place.
Besides, I haven't
a thing to wear.
-Oh, fiddle faddle.
-Yoo-hoo.
Hi, Mrs. Wilson.
-Hello, Henry.
-Oh good, Mitchell, you
brought it, the Geiger counter.
-And it works swell.
-Martha, this will help
solve any difficulty
we may have in locating
the hidden treasure.
-It seems to get louder
up here by the cupboard.
-Well, of course it does.
That's where Martha keeps her
change-- in the sugar bowl.
You see, my dear, if
there's any treasure around,
this thing'll find it.
-Henry, have you decided
to go in on this after all?
-No, I'm not going
on the expedition.
I'm just risking a few dollars
of Mr. Wilson's say so.
But don't tell Alice.
-Oh, women have no real
spirit of adventure.
-We're just more practical.
-Well, the way I look at it
is, if we each put in a little,
none of us can get hurt.
Incidentally, Mr. Wilson,
when would you like my check?
-Well, the other investors
are bringing theirs
here tomorrow afternoon.
Why don't you come too?
Then I'll show the
treasure map, and we
can make our final preparations.
-Oh, George.
-Oh, now Martha,
don't start worrying.
-I can't help it, dear.
What will happen if you wake
up in the middle of the night
and find an alligator
in your tent?
-Well, if an alligator
wants to join our party,
he'll just have to hand over
a check like everybody else.
Right, Mitchell?
Well, now that the members
of our little syndicate
are all here, the first order of
business is feeding the kitty.
And I, as the head
of the expedition,
will be the first to make
my contribution of $ .
-Here's mine.
-Eh-- oh, Mr. Watterson?
Gentlemen, it should
be reassuring to know
that the president of our
local bank is one of us.
-George, I hope I'm
not making a mistake.
-A mistake?
-Well, after all, it's
quite a big gamble.
-Oh, Mr. Watterson, I feel
so sure of the success
of this venture, if
anything goes wrong,
I'll pay you back double.
In fact, I'll pay
you all back double.
-Well, well, % of my
money, win, lose, or draw.
That's a better deal than
I can get at my own bank.
Count me in.
But I want you to know that
I'm doing this as an individual
and not as a
representative of the bank.
-And I'm doing this
as an individual
and not as a
representative of my wife.
-Uh, how about him?
-Oh, I'm already accounted for.
Right, Mr. Wilson?
-Yes.
He's already accounted for.
Now, gentlemen, the moment
you've all been waiting for.
Will you gather
around me, please?
The unveiling of
the treasure map.
Oh.
First, I want to show you a
picture of the little ship
we've chartered for our venture.
Isn't she a beauty?
-Oh.
-Yes.
-And now, the moment of
truth, the treasure map.
Now, we plan to land on the west
end of the island, about here.
Then we walk steps
to a cherry tree.
-A cherry tree in the
middle of a swamp?
-Yes, that's ridiculous.
Isn't it?
-On the contrary,
it's very clever.
I believe whoever buried
the treasure deliberately
planted a cherry
tree as a marker.
-Just like that
rascal Jean Lafitte--
a shrewd, shrewd old buccaneer.
-Precisely.
And now from the
cherry tree right here,
it should be a simple matter
to locate Dead Man's Rock.
And then from there, it's
obviously only two miles to--
-Hey, Mr. Wilson.
Excuse me for interrupting,
Mr. Wilson, but--
-Dennis, what do you want?
-Son, can't you see
we're having a meeting?
-Yeah.
But Dad, the kids
are waiting outside
to see the pirate chest.
-Oh, Dennis.
-Hey, I've been looking
all over for that.
That's my map.
-Oh Dennis, will
you please leave?
-What do you mean
that's your map?
-Well, Tommy and
I drew it to make
the chest more interesting.
You know, to fool
the kids a little.
-You-- you mean--
oh, good grief.
-I might have known there was
something fishy about this.
Wilson, you can send my $
profit to me at the bank.
-Of all things, George, you
are so incredibly gullible.
You can send my $ profit
to the Lookout Mountain Bird
Sanctuary.
-I already made my profit
on you, Mr. Wilson.
But I'm taking back
my picture tube.
-No.
No.
No!
Well, this is a terrible shock.
-Well, while you're
getting over your shock,
can I take the old captain's
coat and show it to the kids?
-Oh, take it, Dennis.
Take everything.
I never want to see it again.
-Thanks, Mr. Wilson.
Wow.
Look at all the money.
-Oh look, Mr. Wilson.
You found a treasure after all.
-Why, for heaven's sakes,
where did this come from?
-It fell out of this old coat.
Why, there's lots more
money in here too.
-Why, look at this.
Old-fashioned currency.
Why, there's enough here
to pay off everybody I owe
and-- and more besides.
Oh, for heaven's sake.
Martha.
-Is everything
straightened out, George?
-Oh, my dear, it was
manna from heaven.
I paid off everybody
and had enough left over
to cover the cost for
that silly old sea chest.
-Oh, that's wonderful.
[doorbell]
-Oh, now who could that be?
Why, Sergeant Mooney.
-Good morning, George.
-Well, what are you doing
here, looking for a handout?
-Oh, I got my hand
out all right,
but only to catch you
for passing stolen money.
-Stolen money?
-What are you talking
about, Mooney?
-Well, it just so happens that
the money you've been passing
is part of an old cache that's
been missing for years.
Watterson checked
the serial numbers.
-Oh, good heavens.
-Oh, George.
-George, I'm surprised at you.
You might have got
away with it, giving it
to Timberlake and
the TV repairman.
But you should never try to pass
on stolen money to a banker.
Come on, let's go.
-But I didn't know it was-- go?
Go where?
-The FBI would like to have
a long talk with you, George.
-The FBI?
Martha?
-Hey Sergeant Mooney, where
are you taking Mr. Wilson?
-Who knows, Dennis?
Might be a small
island called Alcatraz.
-Alcatraz?
-An island?
Hey Mr. Wilson, if
you're going to look
for more buried
treasure, why don't you
go back down to the auction?
I just went past
there, and they've
got three more sea chests.
-Oh, that's all I need!
Oh, good grief.
Martha!
[theme music]