02x38 - Dennis and the Picnic

[bunniefuu]

[music playing]

-Hi, mom.

-Dennis!

Come here.

Look at you!

How in the world did
you ever get so filthy?

-We were playing hide and seek.

Some dumb little kid
got stuck in a big pipe.

-Oh, my goodness.
Did you get him out?

-Oh, sure.
-Oh!

The idea!

I certainly hope that
little boy learned a lesson.

-Jeepers, and how.

-Well, I'm glad to hear that.

-I'm going to take my
jacket off the next time

I'll hide in that old pipe.

[theme music]

-Johnny Brandy's father never
has to work on weekends.

-Dennis, you know your
father would much rather

go on a picnic with us and
the Wilsons than stay home

and work.

-Then why doesn't he?

-Because he has a
very important meeting

with a customer on Monday
and he has to prepare for it.

-Mom?

-Yes?

-Do you know what Johnny Brady's
father told Johnny Brady?

-No, and frankly, Dennis--

-He said the reason
dad had to work

on weekends was-- was he
was a-scared of his boss.

-You know that isn't
true, don't you?

-Sure.Dad isn't a-scared of anybody.

But the way that old Johnny
Brady's always braggin', I sure

wish my dad was going with us.

[door closing]

-Now not one word of what Johnny
said in front of your father,

do you understand?

-Well, here's the mail.

Nothing but bills and circulars.

-What's that?

-Oh, it's something I
picked up out in the gutter.

I was going to toss
it in the ash can,

but I thought I better
look at it first.

-What is it, dear?

-I think I'd better call Wilson.

We need a disinterested
witness before we

examine it any closer.

-Now George, you said
you'd go with us.

[phone ringing]

-That was before
Mitchell backed out.

I-- I've got work I can
find to do, too, you know?

I've got just as good
an excuse as he has.

Hello?

Oh, hello, Mitchell.

Why, what's wrong?

Oh, yes, I'll be
over right away.

I won't be long, Martha.

Mitchell wants to talk to me.

Sounds as if he's in
some kind of trouble.

-It-- it looks like--
why, there must be--

you found it in gutter?

In our gutter?

-In our gutter.

Oh, Mr. Wilson, come in here.
Look at this.

-Jeepers, if it isn't
a b*mb, what is it?

-A b*mb!

-Dennis, I told you,
it's not a b*mb.

Look at that.

-He found it in the gutter.

In our gutter!

-Great Scott!

-There may be some
identification in there,

but I sort of hated
to touch the contents

until I had a witness in
case the owner claimed

there were some of it missing.

-Why, they look brand new.

There must be-- great Scott!

-It's only a bunch of money.

I thought it was a b*mb.

-There isn't a
solitary thing in here

except a fortune in $ bills.

-Put it back in the
briefcase, Henry.

It makes me nervous.

-Well, they're all tens, and
there's about to a packet,

and there are packets.

That makes-- [whistling]

-We better call the police.

-No, I'll take it down
to the station myself.

The sooner I get rid of
this, the better I'll feel,

and the sooner I can
get back to work.

-But you might get held up.
-By whom?

Nobody knows I
have it except us.

-Well, even so, Henry, I
don't like the idea of you're

being around town
with this much cash.

Suppose you lost it?

-Oh, Alice, I'm not
going to lose it.

-Well, somebody did.

-Nobody could lose a big
package containing all--

-And nobody would
throw it away, unless--

-They would have if
they were bank robbers.

I bet you that money
belongs to bank robbers.

-Now, Dennis--

-I bet you they were
making their getaway.

The police car was zoomingi
n on 'em-- [siren noises]

[machine g*n noises] Bang!

Bang!

And then the big fella said,
"Get rid of the swag, boys!"

And they threw it out
of the car so they

wouldn't get caught
with the loot.

-Now Dennis, don't let your
imagination run away with you.

-Well, it's just possible.

You know that Dennis
might be right.

After all, ordinary
people don't go

around throwing $ ,
out of speeding cars.

-Well, we'll let the
police figure it out.

I tell you, you folks go on your
picnic and have a good time,

and I'll be back
in about an hour.

-Henry Mitchell!

I wouldn't set foot
out of this house

until I know you're back home
again and perfectly safe!

-Now, Mitchell, Alice
has a point there.

Oh, not that I think any bank
robbers will be coming back

looking for the
loot-- the money--

but it might be dangerous
carrying that much cash around.

I'll go with you.
-Boy!

Wait till Johnny Brady
hears about this!

-Dennis, come back here!

Dennis!

-All right, I will feel better
having a little company.

Honey, we'll be back
in less than an hour,

and then you can still
go on the picnic.

DENNIS (OFFSCREEN): Johnny!

Johnny Brady!

I got something to tell ya.

-You know what this is?

A three iron.

My father sh*t a hole
in one with this.

He got his picture in the paper.

He'll probably sh**t another
hole in one this afternoon.

-Yeah, but it's about my dad.

He found a whole bunch of money!

-So what.

My father found a--

-Yeah, but wait till I tell ya.

This money belonged
to some bank robbers,

and I bet you
they're coming back

after it as soon as
the heat's off of 'em.

But my dad isn't a-scared
of any old bank robbers.

He's taking the
money to the police,

and those old bank robber
sbetter not try to stop him,

boy!

-Ah, you're making it up.

-I am not making it up!

-How are you going to prove it?

-I'll show you how
I'm gonna to prove it.

If it's in the paper, I
guess that'll prove it!

-Hello, The Chronicle?

Hey, Mr. Krinkey,
this is Dennis.

I got a story for you
to put in your paper.

-Well, you say you
found this in a gutter

outside your house, huh?

-That's right.

-Well, it was sort of in
between our two houses.

Well, a little more
in front of his house

than in front of mine.

-Have a seat over there, please.

-But Sargent Mooney, I've
already told you everything

I know.

-Hey, Sarge!

We got a tip that somebody
by the name Henry Mitchell

came in here with
a packet of money.

-Yes, we did.

Oh, well, that is Mitchell
here actually found the money.

I just came along to help.

My name is George
Wilson, but Mitchell here

deserves all the credit.

Uh, you'll find that Mitchell
is a fine, upstanding,

law-abiding, honest citizen and
a real credit to the community.

And you may quote me.

George Wilson, W-I-L-S-O-N.

-Hey.

Get that camera out of here.
Mr. Mitchell?

-We're free to leave, Sargent?

-If you and Mr. Wilson
will please step inside.

-But Sargent, I--

-A couple of men
from headquarters

want to ask a few questions.

Inside, please.

-But Sargent, I have
a lot of work to do.

-Now look, Sargent, I
got a deadline to meet.

-Oh, well, I can give
you all the facts.

Now Mitchell there found
$ , in our gutter.

There was no identification
on the package,

so being an honest citizen--

-You, too, Mr. Wilson.

Inside, please!

-But he hasn't got the story.

-Look, Mr. Mitchell,
what are you

going to do with the reward?

Oh, come on, Sargent!

What gives?

-Well, you might
say the police are

investigating all possibilities.

-But jeepers!

-Honey, it's too late to
go on picnic now anyway.

-Oh, yes, much too late.

Oh, I'm sorry, Dennis.

I tried to get back sooner,
but those detectives

kept asking the same
questions over and over.

-Never mind, Dennis.

We'll go tomorrow.

-Martha, I don't want to
drive through all that Sunday

traffic.

-We'll make an early start
and spend the whole day.

Everything's ready
to go, so we girls

won't have anything to
do but enjoy ourselves.

-And us fellas
are going to enjoy

ourselves, too, huh Mr. Wilson?

[thump]

-Hey, was that
the evening paper?

-Hey, dad!

Was that the paper?

I'll get it!

-Oh, boy!

Hey, mom!

Hey, dad!

Hey, Mr. And Mrs. Wilson!

Hey, dad, your
picture's in the paper.

Hey, mom!

Dad's picture's in the paper!

Boy, wait till Johnny
Brady sees this!

-Look!
-Hmm.

It says, "For a few exciting
minutes, Henry Mitchell of

Elm Street was richer
today by $ , .

The money was found by
Mitchell in the gutter

outside his modest
home about noon

today when the young man,
married and the father of one

child, returned home from work."

-Hey, dad!

Come here!

-Well, that isn't a very
flattering picture of Henry.

And I wouldn't call
our home that modest.

-Well, I'm certainly
relieved that reporter

didn't put anything in
the newspaper about me.

Mitchell deserves
all the credit.

[phone ringing]

-Look at your picture.

-Hello?

-Well, how about that.

-Oh, hello, Mrs. Cummings.
[doorbell]

-I'll get it, Alice.
-Yoohoo!

Anybody home?

Look at this!

-Come in.

-Congratulations, Henry.

I've always said if there
were more people like you,

this town would be a
better place to live in.

-Henry, old boy!

You're quite the celebrity.

[laughing] You lucky stiff.

What are you going to
do with the reward?

-Well, I don't know if there's
going to be any reward.

After all, I just--

-If you need an
attorney, my nephew

will take the case
on a percentage.

-Mrs. Elkins!

Mitchell and I were
just doing our duty.

Weren't we?

Why, we weren't even
thinking about a reward.

-No, of course we weren't
we don't deserve a reward

for returning something
that isn't ours.

-Oh, you're a fine
young man, Henry,

but you're much too
generous for your own good.

Don't let anybody talk you
out of what belongs to you.

[doorbell]

-I'll let 'em in!

-Alice!

[chattering]

-Henry, I'm so proud of you.

I said to Mr. Johnson,
leave it to Henry

to make the whole neighborhood
sit up and take notice!

-Go right in.

Everybody's in the kitchen.

Oh, hi.

-Is this the Mitchell household?

-I'm his son.

-Well, would you
tell your father

we'd like to talk
to him, please?

I'm Lieutenant Rockwell.

This is Sargent Higgens.

-Gosh, are you detectives?

-That's right, sonny.

-Hey, I know.

I bet you came to
guard the place, huh?

In case the bank
robbers came back.

But you don't need to worry.

My dad isn't a-scared of
any old bank robbers, boy!

-I'll get him.

-We needn't worry about any
old bank robbers hurting us.

[SINGING "FOR HE'S A JOLLY OLD
FELLOW"]

-Let's go into the living room.

-Sorry to interrupt your
party, Mr. Mitchell,

but we want to talk to
you a little bit more.

Sounds like you were
having a good time.

-Good time?

I'm just trying to
get back to my work.

-Well, this won't take long.
-Now look, Lieutenant--

-Now, Mitchell, they can't
catch the bank robbers

unless we cooperate.

-All right, sit down.

-There weren't any bank
robbers, Mr. Wilson.

That money was counterfeit.

-What!

-Counterfeit?

-Well, it certainly
looks real to us.

-We didn't examine very
closely, Mr. Wilson.

-We've been onto this
g*ng for quite some time.

Evidently, the passers realised
that we were on the lookout

for them, so they dumped the
bills the first chance they

got.

-Why didn't you tell us
this down at the station?

-We had to check out
the information first.

Counterfeiting's a
federal offense, you know.

-Well, jeepers.

Counterfeiters are just as
dangerous as bank robbers,

aren't they?

Hey, I bet I know where
those counterfeiters have

been hiding out.

In good old Mr.
Wilson's basement.

-Dennis!

-I'm sorry, Lieutenant.

My son has a very
active imagination.

-Now why in the world
would the counterfeiters

be hiding out in my basement?

-So they could use
your printing press.

-Dennis!
What an idea.

-I don't know what the
boy's talking about.

I don't have a printing press.

-Sure you do, Mr. Wilson.

Hidden under that old blanket
way back in the corner.

-I do not!

Well, I guess you could
call it a printing press,

but it's not the kind
you print money on.

And it isn't hidden.

It's just covered up to
keep the dust off it.

Oh, I haven't used it in years.

Gentlemen, you don't think--

-Of course not, Mr. Wilson.

-This is terrible.

There's never even been a
lot on my reputation before.

I've never even had an
audit on my income tax.

I'm a responsible citizen!

Mitchell, you tell them.

Ask him.

-We know all about
you, Mr. Wilson.

Sargent Mooney told us.

-Sargent Mooney.

Oh, well don't you believe
a word he says about me.

Sargent Mooney never
has liked me, especially

since that last
time, but believe me,

that wasn't my fault.

-Mr. Wilson, we know
you're perfectly innocent.

-I am?

I mean, I am!

Of course I am!

That's what I've been
trying to tell you.

-We've got the places and
we've got the printing press.

And we know who the
counterfeiters are,

and we'll pick them
up in due time.

-Oh, you mean you're-- you're
not going to arrest me?

-Jeepers, Mr. Wilson, what would
they want to arrest you for?

You and me and dad are helping
them find the counterfeiters.

Boy, wait'll I tell
the kids about this!

-And that does that.

Thank you, Mr. Mitchell.
You've been most cooperative.

Uh, you too, Mr. Wilson.

-I should have tossed that
briefcase in the ash can.

It would have saved us both
a lot of fuss and bother.

-This little old couple,they were the their s, see.

They lived way up on top of
a mountain about miles

form the village.

Well now, the villages
didn't worry about them

unless they didn't see smoke
coming out of the chimney.

-Oh, there you are, Henry.

Isn't this jolly?

-Uh--

-Henry, where have you been?

Fine thing, walking
out on your own party.

-I've been talking
to the police.

The money's counterfeit.

-Oh, no!

[group groans]

-Oh, you can't trust
anybody nowadays.

Oh, we ought to get together
more often like this.

You know, I've been thinking.

We could all put in
a dollar for food,

and then we could meet at each
other's houses once a month.

-Yeah, yeah.

So anyway, the villagers
did get worried

because they didn't
see smoke coming out

for a couple of
days, so they sent

the Red Cross up to investigate.

-Do you think a dollar
would be enough?

-Hey, listen to this.

So they went up to investigate,
knocked down the door,

and there they found
the little old couple

bundled up in blankets.

[laughter]

-Well, have a good time,
but if you'll excuse me,

I've got to get some work done.

-We will don't worry.

[chattering]

-There we are.

Thank you.

You don't want to
be the only two

kids in the block that
don't have one do ya?

-Why would anybody
want your autograph?

-Because his dad's a hero.

-Yeah!

-My father's had his picture
in the paper lots of times.

That's not so much.

-Yeah, but my dad is maybe going
to get a medal from the FBI,

and when he does, boy, the
price is going to go up.

-Yeah!
-Here's my dime, Dennis.

-OK.

-Here's mine.

-OK.

[chattering]

[laughter]

MAN (OFFSCREEN): Hey,
how about a song?

[SINGING "MY BONNIE LIES OVER
THE OCEAN"]

[laughter]

[chattering in background]

[dripping]

[SINGING "MY BONNIE LIES OVER
THE OCEAN"]

-I'm afraid our friends didn't
leave very much food behind.

-Oh, that'll be fine, dear.

You'd better run up and get
some sleep even if I can't.

-All right.

Henry?

-Yes, dear?

-Is it really worth
it working this hard?

-For you and Dennis?

Good night, dear.

-Jeepers, mom, there's
got to be a picture

of dad in here someplace.

You look, will ya?

-All right, dear.

Dennis, we don't want
to wake your father.

He worked most of the night.

Now why don't you
go outside and play.

-OK.

[phone ringing]

-Hello?

Oh, hello, Charlie.

No, he isn't up yet.

Could I have him call you?

-Who is it?
-Charlie Brady.

-For me?

-Just a minute, Charlie.

Here he is.

-Hi, Charlie.

Yeah, you heard
right, counterfeit.

It's a lucky thing I didn't
try and spend any of it.

Oh, is that so?

Well, good for you.

-I told you the
way to get business

is out on the golf course.

-You may be right.

-Well, so long Mitchell, boy.

Don't take any wooden nickels.

Hah!

-Charlie sounded happy,
and that's never good news.

What is it?

-He played golf with
Harry Armstrong yesterday.

-Harry Arm-- isn't
that the client

you were meeting tomorrow?

Oh, honey!

What a shame.

Well, did Charlie sign him up?

-No, but he's playing gold
with him again this afternoon,

and well, Charlie's a
pretty good salesman.

I've got to hand him that.

-Well, I'd like to hand him--

-I'd better get back to work.

-Oh, honey.

-Look, if the contract's
signed before I get there,

I'll have wasted
a couple of days,

but at least I'll know
I've done my best.

-I wish I knew what to say.

-Well, why not
try, uh, "Jeepers!"

-Jeepers!

Even a hero doesn't have his
picture in the paper every day.

[ice cream wagon music]

-Hey, let's go meet the
ice cream wagon, huh?

-I don't have any money.

-Me neither.

-You got our money yesterday.

-That's OK.

I'll treat ya.

Come on!

[ice cream wagon music]

-Here you are.

-Gee, thanks, Dennis.

-Yeah.
-Yeah, thanks, Dennis.

Boy, you little kids
sure are dumb letting

Dennis sell you his autograph.

-They are not!

-You're just mad because
his dad's a hero.

-Yeah.

-Some hero.

My father says only
a dope couldn't

tell the difference between
real money and counterfeit.

-You take that back!

My dad is not a dope!

-Dope, dope, double dope,
Henry Mitchell is a dope.

-I want my dime back.

-Me too!

-I can't give it back to you.

You ate it all up.

-Give us back our money!

We want our money back!

-Yeah!

[yelling]

-Hey, mom!

I got to have $ . !

Hey, mom!

BOY (OFFSCREEN): You better
come out here, Dennis!

We want our money,
and we want it now!

-I just gotta have it.

-Well, you'll have to
tell me why, Dennis.

-Do I have to?

-Yes.

-I sold the kids my autograph.

-Your autograph!

-Jeepers, mom, dad's 's
hero, and I'm his son.

But then that old
Johnny Brady said

my dad was a--
wasn't really a hero.

Now the kids want
their dimes back,

and I can't give it
back to them because I

spent the money for ice cream.

-You ate $ .
worth of ice cream?

-No, sir.

I didn't get any.

-Here you are, son.

-Jeepers, thanks, dad.

You saved my life.

And I think you're swell,
no matter what anybody says.

Hey, you guys!

I got your money!

-Oh, hello, dear.

-Hello.

-I baked a cake for dinner, and
there's a little one for you,

just as soon as you have
your sandwich and milk.

-Jeepers.

Why does that Johnny Brady
have to brag about his father

so much?

-Well, you've been
doing a little bragging

yourself, haven't you, Dennis?

-Jeepers, it isn't
bragging if it's true.

-Well, if it's true, then
there isn't any reason to brag.

-Huh?

-Drink your milk, honey.

Dennis, you don't like Johnny
Brady very much, do you?

-I sure don't.

None of us kids do.

-Why not?

-Because he's always
trying to make

us feel bad by bragging
about-- hey, I get it.

Like I know my dad is swell,
so I don't have to make

the other kids think that my
dad is better than theirs!

I get it!

-I really think you do, dear.

HENRY (OFFSCREEN):
Hello, everybody.

I'm home.

-Oh, you're early.

-I took the afternoon off.

I had to spend a little of that
bonus money I'm going to get.

-Oh, boy.

-You sold him?

You got the contract?

-Uh-huh.-Oh, Henry, I'm so proud of you!

-He said he'd never seen a
presentation so well worked

out.

He'd half decided
to give the contact

to Charlie Brady
on the golf course,

then he was glad
that he had waited

to see what our
firm had to offer.

-You b*at Johnny Brady's father.

-Well, it worked
out that say, son.

You open that present
I brought you.

It may be that football
you've been wanting.

-Wait till Johnny
Brady hears about this!

Boy, I sure am dumb.

I was going to go bragging about you again,

but I don't have to brag
about you, do I, mom?

Because you really are
something to brag about.

[theme music]