04x07 - Cupid Sandiego

[bunniefuu]

[typing]

Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego?

♪ Where is Carmen Sandiego?

♪ Carmen Sandiego

♪ Where on Earth can she be? ♪

♪ Tell me

♪ Where is Carmen Sandiego? ♪

♪ Oh, Carmen Sandiego

♪ Where on Earth can she be? ♪

♪ Where on Earth can she be? ♪

g*n it, Tatyana!

Faster!

Whooo!

Oh man, voice activated, grills k*ller hotdogs,

and has its own web site?

Josha, your Sandhog redefines soaking up the UVs.

Uh right. Uh, well, you've gotta invent something

in your spare time.

[panting]

Mo, my man, you in place?

If I was any closer to the action,

I'd have to wear an ACME Badge.

What are we here to nab?

I'll know it when I see it, boys.

Hang tight.

Hey, Zack, you know the opening banquet tomorrow night?

Sure.

You're giving the keynote speech about some new invention.

Yeah.

You think Ivy would dance with me after I speak?

Zack: Uh, it depends.

How boring is your speech?

Boring?

Sandhog, on-Line!

The theory behind my DNA Tracker is that it should be

able to scan a mile radius and track anyone by

reading their DNA.

Ivy: Which is cool because everyone's DNA is different

and we'll be able to find Carmen whenever she's nearby.

Josha, great job!

Uh great too, you are, Ivy!

What?

What!? Oh, oh. The parachute!

Uh, great!

You were great uh, keeping it up in the air.

O-Only one word for that, Ivy really, really great.

Great!

Come on, Ivy! We're water skiing!

Excellent!

Zack, don't let anybody get my book wet.

Sheesh.

I can talk to Ivy about work,

but anything else, and I choke up.

How am I ever going to ask her out?

Josha, bud, you are in luck.

Because you happen to be talking to a guy who's

forgotten more about girls than most guys ever learned.

Here, Ivy's favourite book, Don Quixote.

I read it.

No, no.

Tell her you risked life and limb to keep it dry.

She'll be grateful, you break the ice,

and you can ask her out.

Yep, girls don't call me "Got the Knack Zack".

for nothing.

Uh, sorry!

I-I'm so sorry about that!

Really, I-I-I swear I didn't mean to do it.

Carmen: Boys, it's time to move.

I want that voice activated robot, the Sandhog.

You got it!

Here's your order, detectives.

Two Carmen Sandiego Specials.

And I'll take this for a tip.

Sandhog! Beach-side shower!

It's Lars Vegas!

Huh?

Oh-oh!

We've been made like a pineapple upside-down cake!

Where there's Lars, there's got to be Carmen.

Sandhog, time for water sports!

Hey! Something's up!

Turn back!

Just a bit closer, detectives.

Bring the boat around, Mo.

Whoa!

Carmen: Had a wonderful time, detectives.

Glad you were here.

You guys okay?

Uh, Ivy uh, glad you're here.

I've brought you your book.

Oh, brother.

Player:

Carmen:

Cheif: Vacation!

Ivy: Chief!

Uh-oh.

Chief! -Ahh!

Get your head out of the sand!

Carmen just stole Josha's Sandhog.

What!

Carmen stealing goods while I'm on vacation?

What's she trying to do?

Ruin my tan line?

Her empty bottle tells us nothing.

Literally I wish she'd left a clue inside.

"Ivy, you must first kiss and be friends."

Bud, we're trying to cr*ck a case here,

not solve your personal problems, okay?

What? No! It's written on the cork!

"You must first kiss and be friends."

I know that proverb from Comparative Lit.

Player, Info-Scan Jonathan Swift.

Cheif: Right you are, gumshoe.

But Anglo-Irish author Jonathan Swift is best known

for writing "Gulliver's Travels."

Zack: Hey, wasn't Gulliver shipwrecked on an island of

incredibly small people who just thought he was a giant?

Stop! Stop! I'm ticklish.

Chief: Old Swifty was just one of a whole crop of famous

writers from Ireland.

You got your James Joyce, you got your George Bernard

Shaw, you got your William Butler Yeats,

and you got your Oscar Wilde.

And all that fame living on an island less than %

the size of the U.S.

Carmen could be anywhere in Ireland.

And we still don't know why she carved the clue in cork.

Wait!

Isn't the secondlargest city in all of Ireland called Cork?

Josha: Uh, Ivy, shouldn't we focus on the kissing part?

Bud, chill.

The clue!

I'm talking about the clue.

Josha is right!

And isn't there an Irish legend about a famous stone

you kiss or something in Cork, Ireland?

Cheif: Eye, Lassie it's the Blarney Stone at Blarney

Castle you be thinking of.

Legend is, kissing the stone will give you the gift of gab.

You mean actually kissing a stone might help a person

not get tongue-tied?

Or give you someone else's cold. Yech!

Gross souvenir, eh?

Ireland, cork, kissing.

I'd say Carmen's looking for her own souvenir.

Player, C- us to Blarney Castle in County Cork, Ireland.

Cheif: Pack away your sunscreen,

island hoppers, 'cause you're going from the warm

islands of the Seychelles to the damp island of Ireland,

where the annual rainfall can be inches.

The Emerald Isle is % Catholic and the former

stomping grounds of St. Patrick who is said to have

imported the alphabet there in the th century.

Pat, buddy, love the hat, but watch your P's and Q's.

You know, it's amazing St. Patrick got around at all

when you figure one-seventh of the whole country is

covered in peat bogs.

Oi and bigosh!

Josha: We're talking miles and miles of mushy,

decaying, plants that make bogs up to feet deep.

Whoa, this is weird.

We're at Blarney Castle and nothing's out of place.

Just some farmers taking their wool to market.

Some tourists lined up to see the stone.

The unmistakable glow of refracting laser beam!?

What!?

You can kiss this stone goodbye.

Carmen!

Go, Zack!

[horse whinnies]

Ireland may be famous for its race horses,

but she'll never outrun the C- car!

Carmen's heading for that grove of trees

and a giant peat bog!

She'll never get around it!

There she is!

We're not gonna make it!

Got it covered!

Waaah!

Ivy:

Ivy:

Whoa!

Wah!

Guys, why are we reversing?

Straight into the peat bog?

Whoa!

Do something, Josha!

Carmen's getting away!

Ivy, aim the steering wheel for feet at degrees

and let her fly.

Incoming!

I wondered what was taking them so long.

Where did she go?

Perfect timing.

[horse whinnies]

Ahhh!

Whoa!

[horse whinnies]

You okay, Ivy?

Yeah.

Just annoyed Carmen got away again.

You?

Okay I think.

Good. Let's go.

Yeah, I'm fine, too in case anybody cares.

Carmen could be anywhere in Ireland.

Hey, Zack!

Maybe I should kiss that stone.

Think it would help me talk to Ivy?

Bud, it's not the stone that gives the Irish

the gift of gab.

It's their oral tradition, handing down stories

for generations.

Their great tales of w*r, love,

man and nature.

Hmm.

Man and nature, huh?

That gives me an idea.

Uh Ivy, did I ever tell you about the time

I went camping.

A-And I hiked up a mountain, got lost,

ran out of food and had to eat worms?

So if you ever want to go hiking,

you know, I'd say I pretty much know the ropes.

What do you say?

Well, okay, but I'm partial to grubs, meself.

Oh, I'll never get it right.

Yeah.

Fools may rush in, but they eat Josha's dust.

It's not funny, Zack!

I know, I know.

But I wanna tell you.

I'm here for 'ya, bud.

If you ever, you know, wanna talk it through,

hombre to hombre.

Oh, bueno just what I need, advice from Zorro!

Guys, the other guard overheard Mo tell Lars their

next stop was "a balcony a cappella.''

What could that mean?

Mi-mi-mi-mi!

"A cappella" means singing without musical instruments,

kinda like what you do in the shower.

♪ A capelle, A cappella, A cappella! Do wop! ♪

Phew! -Very nice, Chief.

But a balcony a cappella?

What kind of balcony sings?

All right, contestants, welcome to

Wheel-of-Baconies!

If Carmen steals balcony number one,

she'll be waving from the Pope's balcony at the

Vatican in Rome.

Hey, hey, I'm standing here!

Cheif: If she goes for balcony number two,

she'll be treated like royalty at

London's Buckingham Palace.

Or balcon number three, where Romeo and Juliet are

said to have exchanged vows of love on the Via Capelle

in Verona, Italy.

Wait! Ivy! The guard heard it wrong!

Mo didn't say, "a balcony a cappella"!

He said Carmen's gone to Juliet's balcony on a street

called the Via Capella.

You could be right, Josha!

C- us to Verona, Italy, Player!

Cheif: Ciao bella, my spaghetti-eating sleuths.

Exchange your pounds for lira,

you're on your way from County Cork,

Ireland to Verona, Italy.

Ah, Verona, setting of the play, "Romeo and Juliet,

written by the greatest playwright ever,

England's William Shakespeare.

b*at it!

I got company coming!

Umph!

Romeo, Romeo!

Wherefore art thou, Romeo?

Cheeze-Louise!

Ever hear of a shower!?

Ahhh!

Uh, when exactly does she drink the poison?

What light through yonder window breaks!

It is the east, and Carmen is the thief!

Nice reading, Chief-eo, but we don't have time to finish

this scene.

Carmen: They can't stop me if they can't see me.

[expl*si*n] [coughing]

Almost there!

Something's rotten on this balcony,

Carmen, and you're it.

Whoa!

Ivy:

Ivy:

Time to wrap this up, fellas.

Yeee-yaaa!

Not again!

[struggling]

As Shakespeare once wrote,

"parting is such sweet sorrow," detective.

Who-o-o-o-o-ah!

Gotcha!

Call for backup, Josha.

We've gotta stay hot on Carmen's trail!

[siren]

Hot tip! Hot tip from Crime Net, campers!

Lars and Mo were just caught stealing a windmill from

La Mancha, Spain.

Lars and Mo?

That means Carmen again, for sure.

La Mancha?

Hmm That's from my book, "Don Quixote."

La Mancha, Spain is where the fictional character

Don Quixote performed chivalrous deeds to impress his lady love.

Ivy: Miguel Cervantes wrote "Don Quixote" about a man

so obsessed with fantasies of being a knight he thought

windmills were dangerous giants.

He actually att*cked one.

Chief: It's the sixth round, fight fans,

and the Duking Don is dealt the TKO -

Ooh! The windmill has won!

Josha, now's the time, bud.

Ivy's on the most romantic balcony in the world and she

needs help with a clue.

I can't believe Romeo had to do this in tights.

Player, Info-Scan the things Carmen's gone after so far.

Recapping crime scenes coming right up.

Ivy: The Blarney Stone is for smooth talking,

Juliet's balcony is for romance,

Don Quixote's windmill was a sign of bravery.

Josha! Why are you climbing the wall!

Ivy, Carmen did me a huge favor stealing the things

she's stolen.

I learned a lot on this case and when I think I wanted to

stay behind and work on my DNA tracker instead

of coming - Whoa!

Wait a minute! The DNA Tracker!

Could Carmen have heard you tell us about it in the

Seychelles, Josha?

Well, if she did then she also heard me tell Zack

I wanted, you know, to ask you out.

She what!?

I-I mean you what?

I told Zack all about it in the Seychelles-

Josha! That's it!

That's Why Carmen hasn't gotten away with any of the

things she's gone after on this case.

She doesn't really want them!

Ivy!!

Ow! You like me!

You really like me!

Josha, don't you see?

Carmen stole the Blarney Stone,

the balcony and the windmill,

so you'd be focusing on them and they'd give you romantic cues.

But why would she care if I ever got up the courage

to ask you out?

Ivy: She doesn't!

She wanted to distract you from working so you wouldn't

finish the tracker and so she could steal your papers.

Are we gonna check out the site of the stolen windmills

in La Mancha?

Nope, little bro.

That's just to throw us off track.

My bet is Carmen's about to steal.

Josha's DNA tracker notes!

Player, C- us back to the Seychelles Islands.

Carmen!

You!

Well, thanks for loaning me the Sandhog, Josha.

Your voice recognition tapes allowed me to break into

your security vault.

Yah!

Whoa!

We have to stop her!

If she figures out how your DNA Tracker works,

she'l figure out how to evade it!

But there's somethingl have to tell you guys about that!

Later, Josha!

Zack, Ivy, wait!

Whaaa!

Whoa! Ohh!

Sandhog, Volleyball net!

Whoa!

Oh!

No!

Phew! Safe at home.

Thanks, guys.

We've got to stop her helicopter!

Gah!

[crash]

[screams]

Now I wish I hadn't reminded you detectives

about the Man of La Mancha and tilting at windmills!

Let's get your papers, Josha.

The sooner you finish the Tracker,

the sooner we catch Carmen.

Well, that's what I need to explain.

In conclusion, my proposed DNA tracker will catch

anybody, any time, in theory.

But I'm afraid the real technology needed is still

a few years away.

Thank you.

Hey, hey! Not too boring, bud.

Now, you've just got one thing left to do.

Right.

But I'm going to do it my own way this time.

Sandhog: Josha requests the honor of the next dance.

Affirmative is the only response I can compute.

You got it, Sandhog.

I'd love to dance with Josha.

Yeah, I taught him everything he knows.

Sandhog: Funny, he taught me everything he knows.

Dance?

Whoa!

[sputtering]

Player:

Carmen:

Carmen: You never know who I'll aim at next.

Hey hey hey!

Ready to dance the night away?

Wha!

Whoa!

Alright, you must be ready now.

Clearly I've got the coolest dance moves here.

[crash]

Ok, Zack, now I'm ready to dance with you.