04x03 - Retribution pt. 1

[bunniefuu]

[typing]

Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego?

♪ Where is Carmen Sandiego?

♪ Carmen Sandiego

♪ Where on Earth can she be? ♪

♪ Tell me

♪ Where is Carmen Sandiego? ♪

♪ Oh, Carmen Sandiego

♪ Where on Earth can she be? ♪

♪ Where on Earth can she be? ♪

Cell block , locked and secure!

Cell block , locked and secure!

[evil laugh]

[timer beeps]

[expl*si*n]

[siren]

[expl*si*n]

[shouting]

[alarm bell]

Alright everyone, out of your cells!

Maelstrom, move!

Hey, Maelstrom!

Huh?

Code Red!

Dr. Maelstrom is out!

No one could have survived that.

Warden, we got a Crime Net Alert that an prisoner escaped.

Anything we can do?

Thanks, Detective, but our escapee didn't

survive this expl*si*n.

Who was he?

Dr. Gunnar Maelstrom, one of the most brilliant and

frightening criminal minds there ever was.

Zack: Hey, Ivy! Check this out!

Huh?

They're heading out here towards the river.

Maelstrom could have gotten away.

I'm afraid that print was made by a regulation penal

guard shoe, Detective.

I'd guess mine, when I first ran out here to investigate.

Could this be his watch?

No one could have escaped this blast.

And it was Maelstrom's violent life that put him

beneath that pile of rubble.

It just doesn't make sense that someone as brilliant as

Maelstrom would botch an escape this badly.

Hey, new digs, Detectives?

Love what you've done with the place.

Early slammer.

Chief what can you tell us about this creepazoid,

Dr. Maelstrom?

Oh, deja vu.

You're talking about the most ruthless criminal

who ever lived!

And he didn't recycle. [screams]

Sounds like you knew him personally.

Knew him!?

I put him in prison.

Well, me and a famous ex- detective by the name of

Carmen Sandiego.

Carmen helped put him away!? -Huh?

Yep.

Back when she was one of us.

Say it loud and say it proud,

but just say it, ACME Detectives!

The year was .

Ronald Reagan was President, "Out of Africa"

won Best Picture.

Later that year the famous sunken luxury liner,

Titanic, would be found at the bottom of the sea,

and an . earthquake would rock Mexico City.

But our story starts before that,

in late August.

[evil laugh]

[expl*si*n]

Huh?

Yee-aah!

Sorry, Maelstrom.

You!

Library's closed.

And your card has expired.

Yah!

I'm afraid our little cat and mouse game is finally

over, Dr. Maelstrom.

Are you certain, Detective Sandiego?

Oof!

I can't see!

[expl*si*n]

[gasp] [coughing]

[tires screech]

ACME Detective Carmen Sandiego!

Don't worry, I'll get this back to you!

You call the Fire Department.

Huh?

You ACME detectives certainly are a persistent breed!

Blast!

How does he design those awesome vehicles?

Yep, yep, yep.

This guy was one tough cookie,

and I mean, no soft chewy center.

Of course, you know, I could've told Carmen how to

handle him.

But this was back before I was in charge.

Maelstrom got away again, huh, Carmen?

It doesn't add up, Inspector.

Here's a brilliant marine archaeologist gone bad.

A man obsessed with stealing ocean treasures,

loot from sunken ships, and suddenly,

he steals a simple log book.

What's so strange about that?

Why steal navigation records from -odd years ago?

The ship it belonged to, the Carpathia,

was just an ordinary passenger boat.

It never even sank.

The answer's got to be here somewhere.

You and your computer. I tell you-

Inspector, if I was half as high-tech as Dr. Maelstrom,

I'd have had him by now.

Well, the boys at headquarters seem to agree

with you, Carmen.

They slapped together a little something to help

even the odds.

Introducing your new partner,

ACME's very own Computerized Holographic Imaging

Educational Facilitator, affectionately known as

Chief.

Oh, Detective Sandiego!

What an honor!

Wha-Whoaa!

An open window!

What a partner.

Chief, you had a body?

Well, it was kind of an experiment that didn't

exactly work out.

I'd, I'd really rather not talk about it.

Anyway.

And let me assure you, Detective Sandiego,

I am state-of-the-art, user-friendly

Oh, did I mention, I'm cable-ready?

Oh, but wait, there's more!

I guarantee, you could not find a partner who is more

alert, more vigilant more -

Uh, Chief?

Forgive me for disabling your little toy, Carmen.

How did you intercept his secured frequency?

Knowledge is power, Carmen.

You're an epidemic on society,

Maelstrom, and I'm about to become the cure.

Oh, you're a fool if you believe the reason you hunt

me is to see me stopped, Carmen.

We both live for the game.

We're two sides of the same coin you and I.

No! Never!

Only I'm willing to admit that the art of the theft is

what compels me.

All that compels you is greed!

That lofty moral superiority of yours will someday

crumble like the walls of Jericho.

And you will see what I see in you.

What?

[whispering]

You're a thief at heart, Carmen.

And right now it's my freedom you're trying to steal.

Who knows what you will crave next?

Hmm?

- more aware! More -

Say, you look a little green, Carmen.

Getting enough roughage?

Chief, Maelstrom just broke in on your frequency.

Do you have video playback?

Bring up the volume.

We intercepted this message, boss.

"Jason arriving Sydney Harbor."

Carmen: Nice job.

Now we just need to figure out who Jason is.

Okay, listen up, culture lovers!

We got pioneer Jason Lee, we got that ancient Greek

heartthrob, Jason and the Argonauts from Greek

mythology!

Any Jasons that have a more contemporary ocean going

theme, Chief?

Word is, there's a new underwater robot camera

named Jason Junior, developed by oceanographers,

to explore the sea in places that would be way too deep

for you humans to swim.

Bunch of weenies!

It can photograph the deepest oceans,

where it's so dark some creatures,

like this Viperfish, actually produce their own light.

Hmm. Jason sounds like a perfect tool for Maelstrom's usual

underwater heists.

And according to my chest, Jason Jr., or "J.J. my man,"

as we fellow robots like to call him is due to

arrive and be tested, get this,

you heard it here first, in Sydney Harbor tomorrow!

Then Chief, let's pack our toothbrushes for Australia,

the land down under.

Since this was before they invented the C- Corridor,

Carmen flew us from San Francisco Australia,

in the ACME jet.

Though new to flying, I laughed in the face of danger!

[screaming]

'Ere you go, guv, one robot camera in A- condition.

Say, where's Captain Fredericks today?

I'm afraid Captain Fredericks is a little

tied up today.

Boss, you seen what they got down there in the t*nk?

That thing gives me the creepy-crawlies.

Merely a specimen of genus Architeuthis,

Bilge, collected by our Marine biologist friends below.

Now prepare to cast off.

Ugh! Phew!

Well, I guess we missed the boat.

So now we'll have to call Harbor Patrol.

Whaaa!

Chief, take the wheel!

But, but Carmen, I'm not programmed for driving!

Drive.

Ugh!

Oof!

Waaaah!

I thought I asked you to take the wheel!

Ha! I did.

Oh boy!

Wah!

Heeyah!

Whoaaa!

Umph!

Whoa!

Uh, wait a minute!

I really don't wanna hang out here!

Ahhh! Oof!

Ahhh!

Ivy:

Ivy:

Ohmigosh! Hang on, Carmen!

[splash]

Give her up, you overgrown sushi!

[gasp]

Are we heroes yet?

'Fraid not, Chief.

Chief, run your video memory of Maestrom's getaway

one more time.

Oh, I've run it five times already.

Can't we just rent "Hello Dolly"?

We have to figure out where Maelstrom's headed with that

stolen underwater camera.

Those flags!

Ships use flags like those to send messages to each other.

But according to my database on the International Signal

Code those flags don't mean anything.

What if it's a private code?

Info-Scan, colors.

That covers a lot of territory, Carmen.

I swear, it's as though Maelstrom's taunting me!

Wait a minute.

Maelstrom's a fantastic pool player.

I nearly cornered him once at a French billiards

tournament.

Ah, billiards The table top game of royalty can be

traced all the way back to the th century when King

Louis the th of France is known to have purchased

a billiard table.

Fore!

See how each ball has a number painted on it?

What if Maelstrom's color code is really a number

code, based on billiard ball colors?

Purple is four, yellow is one.

!

Well, that just about clears up everything.

And we're looking for a destination.

Chief: So, the numbers could mean latitude degrees

minutes, longitude degress minutes?

Which, since he was headed northwest -

Maelstrom stole the Carpathia's log back in Liverpool.

Did the Carpathia ever cross this part of the

North Atlantic?

Wasn't on the Carpathia's usual route.

Oh, except for one day.

In a passenger liner sank right at that spot.

The Carpathia went off course to rescue

the few survivors.

Ohmigosh! Chief!

He's going to steal the sunken ship Titanic!

He'll desecrate a memorial to all those who lost their

lives in that tragedy!

We've got to stop him!

And there you have it, gentlemen.

Descending in nuclear submersibles,

we will attach magnetic disks to the Titanic's hull.

Then activate the self-inflating pontoons.

Which will fill with hydrazine gas.

The Titanic will rise like Venus from the sea!

All this just to get some old boat?

Fool!

The Titanic was the largest and finest ship of her day.

Unsinkable, they called her.

So certain were they that on her maiden voyage,

they neglected to include enough lifeboats

for all passengers.

Then, at minutes to midnight,

on April , , she struck an iceberg and sank.

There were survivors, but over people

drowned, making it the greatest seagoing disaster

of all time.

Countless explorers have tried to locate the wreckage

of the doomed ship.

All have failed, until now.

But using the stolen log of the rescue ship Carpathia,

I tracked that day's currents and calculated they

were strong enough to carry the sinking Titanic

due east, far from where everyone else suspected.

Gentlemen, I am about to carry off the greatest

sea going theft of all time!

Follow me in the red submarine, Bilge.

Right, Boss.

[splash]

Whoa!

It's Carmen Sandiego!

Chief! Take the controls!

What, again?

I told you I'm not programmed for -

Ah! The reception committee.

Ahh!

Whoa!

[splash]

[evil laugh]

Uh oh.

Oh boy.

Ivy:

Ivy:

[evil laugh] Closer!

Whoa!

Wahh!

That's why you're the henchmen and not the boss.

Hey, look! It's her!

Brakes, brakes, brakes, brakes, brakes!

Abandon ship!

Wah! [crash]

Uh, do you validate?

Now, to see a man about a ship.

Right on target!

The Titanic!

[laughs]

Bilge! Are you there!

The Titanic broke in two as it sank.

The other section could be anywhere!

We'll need more pontoons.

Carmen: That won't be necessary, Doctor.

The Titanic's not going anywhere.

You will regret this, Carmen!

[crash]

Come on.

Maelstrom: Wedged in, my dear?

Allow me - to help blast you out!

Maelstrom, you're a madman!

Maelstrom: What are you doing?

Just hoisting you on your own pontoon, Doctor.

Hey, Detective! Look!

We bagged our limit!

Next day, September first, a crew led by Dr. Robert

Ballard found the Titanic, Maelstrom went to prison,

and I asked for a nice, quiet desk top job.

Maybe as a paperweight.

Yeah, great story, Chief!

But - Hey, look!

Since when does anyone escape from prison barefooted?

Ivy!

Those shoe prints I saw! Wanna bet Maelstrom

somehow got a hold of guard shoes?

And if you were a demented sea captain who'd been

locked up for years, where's the first place you'd go?

To my ship!

Chief, Where's the Valkyrie right now?

Chief: Info-Scanning international harbor records.

Bingo! The Valkyrie is now a supply ferry in Belize.

Player, C- us to Belize!

Waaah!

Well, there's the Valkyrie.

But where's Maelstrom?

Looking for me?

Huh?

All right, Maelstrom, we're from ACME,

and you're busted!

Am I now?

Gentlemen, please show our young friends how we deal

with uninvited ACME Agents.

Yahh!

Give it up, Maelstrom!

You can't lock us in here forever!

I wouldn't dream of it.

Besides, who needs locks, when you've got crocs?

Whoa!

Run for it!

Ivy!

Elbow.

♪ Oh the elbow's connected to the drive shaft, ♪

♪ the drive shaft is connected to the solenoid ♪

♪ frenambulator, and that's the way you fix the Cheif. ♪

Everybody sing.

Forearm.

Yes, I'm a trained professional.

Kids, don't try this at home unless you have invaluable

nuts and bolts knowledge.

Wrist.

Geeze, I feel like a refugee from The Wiz.

Oil me.

Wow, hey, look.

Now give me a hand.

[clapping]

Wow, you know, every calimari thinks he's a comedian.