01x05 - The Blood and the Sh*t

[bunniefuu]

I skinned you in without a proper initiation, and now I have to correct that.

Mine was worse, you know.

Broke two bones in his own hand skinning me in.

Didn't want to show any favouritism.

Why did you really come? For the same reason you asked me to.

I don't know why I asked you to.

I think you do.

You know you can trust me, right? Feels kind of good to know someone has my back.

When we agreed to take the later coach, no one said anything about riding with Chinamen.

Aren't there laws against this? You're not in the city now, darling.

There are no laws here.

They shouldn't even be allowed to buy tickets.

It's a well-known fact that they carry diseases, for God's sake.

Keep your voice down, dear.

It's not like they can understand me.

I mean, God.

The smell alone.

Let's not forget our Christian hospitality.

If I may, "You shall treat the stranger "that sojourns with you as the native among you and love them as you love yourself.

" Leviticus, 19:33.

Padre, if I wanted to hear a sermon, I'd probably be in church now, wouldn't I? And you'd be welcome.

As would these two young fellas.

There's room for everyone in God's kingdom.

Have you buys considered committing your souls to our Lord and Savior? Business must be pretty slow up in heaven.

And they got you out hunting down chink souls.

Well, look at it this way.

We got to get out of Chinatown for a few days and breathe in some fresh air.

"Fresh air"? We're riding in a box with a bunch of hairy ducks.

I'll take the blood and sh*t over Grass Valley, Nevada.

It wasn't so bad.

It was a dusty sh*t bowl.

The food was sh*t.

The beds were sh*t.

The whores were sh*t.

- That didn't stop you.

- f*ck you.

What else was there to do? Still can't believe Father Jun sent us out here just to drag home a damn corpse.

He considers it a sacred duty to transport a dead relative back to China.

It's f*cking coolie work.

Yeah There's a w*r going on, and we're out here with these duck f*ckers Neither of you boys speak any English, do you? No, Padre, they don't speak English, and they definitely don't speak Jesus.

Chinese are half worm.

That's why they had 'em for the railroads.

They dig a tunnel real good.

They're people, son.

Just like you and me.

Not like me, Padre.

You can tell just by looking at 'em they ain't fully evolved into civilized humans yet.

Whoa! Why are we stopping? It's barely 2:00.

The horses are done.

Never gonna make it to Mooney Flat before nightfall.

We're gonna have to stay here till daybreak tomorrow.

You can't be serious.

We're in the middle of nowhere.

Oh, yeah, well Everyone out.

Why not just leave that out here? Are you kidding? Who knows what kind of animals come out at night around here.

Father Jun would sh*t a brick if they ended up eating his precious corpse.

They're not gonna bring that in here, are they? Well, they already did, honey.

What can I get ya? Two whiskey, please.

Don't you mean three? If he's not drinking, he can't stay.

You got any beds up there? The only beds here come with the whores.

And what good is a bed without one? I ain't sleeping with no redskin.

Well then you're sh*t out of luck, 'cause my other girl Sally's already upstairs with a customer.

Sally, huh? What the f*ck? Time's up, you limp-d*ck m*therf*cker.

- Who are you? - Get off of him! - Get out of here.

- It's my turn now.

- What's wrong with you? - Stop! What's wrong with you, man? f*ck off.

Watch it.

Go! Oh, sh*t.

sh*t.

All right, little lady.

Here I am.

Thought you two might want some real food.

Drunken chicken? Nice.

Wow.

Thank you.

- Mmm.

- Mmm.

This is good.

I marinate it in my own rice wine.

You've got rice wine? Homesick? Yeah.

Well, it gets cold here in the winter, and the white devils never want any, so I'll get you some.

Thank you.

Hey.

Your accent.

Where are you from? Yubei.

Yubei? I'm from Foshan.

Foshan, huh? Well, we're practically neighbors.

My father used to have a farm at the base of Dinghu mountain.

We used to climb up to the waterfalls there.

Yeah.

Well, I'll be right back with that wine.

The Dinghu mountain, huh? Something bothering you? Did you know I've never been to China? Guess I never really thought about it.

I'm a Chinaman who's never been to China.

I was born in San Francisco, but I'm sure no f*cking American.

I don't belong anywhere.

You're as Chinese as I am.

No.

I'm just another onion taking up space.

g*dd*mn! Worked me up an appetite.

Hey.

What do you all have for food around here? Ham and beans.

Sounds good to me.

Now, what are you yellow fellas eating? And what are you doing with those damn sticks? Nobody ever teach you any table manners? You got tables in China? Or do you all just eat off the floor, like dogs? You got something you wanna say, yellow f*ck? Easy, boys.

Easy.

We've all had a rough trip.

Why don't you let me buy you a drink? I didn't know priests could drink.

It's the one vice they let us have.

Well, I'm not gonna argue with a man of God.

Excellent.

Give us some of the good stuff, please.

Yes? Hey, big brother.

What do you need? Something wrong? We almost never get any Chinese in here, so it's been a while since I heard some white bastard talk down to us.

I should've thrown him right the f*ck out of here.

You don't come to my place and talk that kind of sh*t.

Your place? Aren't you the cook? I am the cook.

But I also built it.

Cut down and planed every piece of wood you see in here.

How does a guy from Yubei end up owning a saloon in Nevada? I've done it all.

Ten years on the railroad, laying down track and growing food for them.

After that five years of squeezing gold out of a mining claim the ducks said was dry.

I quit.

And I came here when they wouldn't give me the going rate for my gold.

Twice the work for half the pay? I couldn't live with that anymore.

Wait, you and her? That little lady right there? She is my gold mountain.

That's America, little brother.

Plenty of opportunity, just never where you think.

I think I'm in love.

She's an Indian.

You're Chinese.

You can't even talk to her.

I know.

It's perfect.

We understand each other, you know? She's like me, a stranger in her own land.

I'm gonna go get us a drink.

Three whiskey, please.

Don't stand next to me, you f*cking worm.

Oh.

You like the redskin, huh? f*ck off.

"f*ck off.

" You know, I hear you can ride these red ones real hard.

I'm not usually up for the squaws, but since you took the trouble to warm her up well, I may as well give her a sh*t.

Come on, red.

Now that the yellow fella got you warmed up, you can get f*cked by a real man.

I don't think so, yellow fella.

You got yourself a little crush, do ya? Your little yellow d*ck likes some red p*ssy.

Good day, everyone.

No need to stand, thank you just Keep your seats.

I apologize that you all had to see that little bit of gruesomeness, but I did it for two reasons.

First, the man had his g*n drawn.

Which is something I just can't tolerate in my line of work.

Second, I thought it would make an effective example.

A deterrent, if you will, against any interference.

And now, having established that deterrent, we can carry on with the business at hand.

In a perfect world, y'all would've just left your valuables in the stagecoach.

But, seeing as how you're savvy travelers who know better than to leave your belongings unattended, uh, we're gonna have to take a more direct approach.

So I'd very much appreciate it if you would all just take a minute to remove any and all valuables from your bags, and we'll just lighten your load and be on our way.

All right then, boys.

Let's get on with it.

You have a chance to look out back at the stables? I seen a couple of nags.

Decent enough tack.

Get rid of the nags as you go.

You got it.

You're with them? You bastard.

Well the regular driver was indisposed.

You got a light for me, darling? It's been a while, Billie.

Yeah.

Not long enough.

You were always tougher than most of the men.

Smarter too.

Smart enough to know I'll sh**t you dead before you ever get that Old Betsy out from behind the bar.

Let's see it, shall we? Nice and slow.

Attagirl.

I think we're set, boss.

All right, then.

I'll just need you two gentlemen to bring that coffin out for me.

The box.

Outside.

No.

Excuse me? Please, it's it's sacrilege.

What do you want a corpse for? Let them keep Thank you, Father.

Coffin.

Outside.

Now.

f*ck your mother.

k*ll 'em.

Winnie? Honey, are you okay? Hey, you.

Chinaman.

What the hell is wrong with you? You just take it easy.

Don't you tell me to take it easy.

These damn Chinese could've gotten us all k*lled.

They were defending themselves, which is more than any of the rest of you can say.

They weren't defending themselves.

They were protecting that.

What the hell is in there that was worth risking all of our lives? Just doesn't make any sense.

What could they possibly want with a dead coolie? Sweet Jesus.

My God.

They're gold smugglers.

Huh? Hmm? I don't believe it.

We were all robbed because of a couple of damn Chinese smugglers.

- He'll be back.

- What? What are you talking about? Harlan.

He'll be coming back tonight.

His men are dead.

He's got plenty more where they came from.

He's after that gold, and he's not gonna let it go.

- Especially now.

- So you know this Harlan? We both grew up around these parts.

He and his crew have been wanted for robbery and m*rder in Carson City ever since the train robbery a few years back.

Doesn't usually operate so close to his base.

Well, I guess all that gold was a good enough reason.

If he comes back, we just give it to him.

That's not gonna work.

We k*lled his men.

We didn't k*ll anybody.

It was these damn coolies.

Let him take it up with them.

You don't know Harlan French.

You saw the way he k*lled that cowboy.

He didn't give it a second thought.

Now, he'll be back with an army, and they won't leave anyone standing.

Come on.

We're leaving right now.

We'll ride to the next town.

On what? Harlan cut loose his men's horses when he left.

Then we'll walk.

It's 30 miles through the desert to Mooney Flat.

- You won't make it.

- We'll leave the gold here for them to find it, and we'll hide out in the desert.

There is nowhere to hide.

Look, you don't understand.

This is his territory, and he knows every inch of it.

We're gonna have to fight.

We can't fight a bunch of outlaws.

The Father is right.

We may not be able to survive a night out there, but we can take our chances on a few hours.

We leave the gold here for them, and we find a place to hide until they've come and gone.

If I were Mr.

French, I'd consider the night a success and not waste my time hunting down a group of strangers.

It's our best chance.

That would be a great plan, if it were your gold.

But it's not.

So it isn't.

Lord, have mercy.

You speak English.

We're not leaving the gold.

Listen, that gold is the reason we're in this mess.

And it's our way out.

As far as I'm concerned, there's nothing left to discuss.

I guess it's settled then.

Damn right, it's settled.

So all you gotta do is come over here and take it from me.

You got a plan? I do.

The plan is, we get the f*ck out of here.

No, no way.

She said it's 30 miles to Mooney Flat.

Rather take my chances out there than spend any more time with these whining ducks.

You with me? I'm with you.

You can't just leave us.

If Harlan shows up here and you're gone He'll k*ll us all.

You can leave, same as us.

I already told you, there's nowhere to go.

Ah.

Then I guess it'd be a short trip for all of us.

If you were a real man, you'd stay and fight.

Put down the g*n.

You think you can pull that trigger before I pull mine? I don't care.

I gave everything I had to this place.

This is my home.

This is where I'll die.

Sooner or later.

You'll die tonight.

Well, at least I got something, and someone to die for.

What do you have? There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells Anything? You should go.

Take the gold back to Father Jun.

This isn't your fight.

It's not yours either.

Kind of feels like it is.

Not gonna lie I thought about leaving.

Hmm.

You're still here.

Well, like I told you before I don't belong anywhere.

Other than Father Jun, I have no family.

But if I had a brother I'd like to think that I'm the kind of brother who'd stay and scrap with him.

You get me? I get you.

But if we're brothers, you're gonna tell me how you can talk like a duck.

My grandfather was American.

No sh*t.

You're half duck? A quarter.

Maybe you could keep that between us? That won't be a problem.

Since we're probably gonna die here.

Yeah, I guess so.

Damn.

I was kind of hoping you'd say something a little bit more optimistic.

At least my father will feel guilty for getting us diced over this sh*t.

So, you know there's that.

It's stickin'.

You believe that? True love, huh? I love you.

That would never happen in San Francisco.

Okay, if I'm gonna die tonight, then I got some business to take care of.

I thought you did that already.

Have you met me? You come.

Young Jun.

Wankeia.

Wankeia.

Just go with the girl, Young Jun.

Just go with the f*cking girl.

Father? You think you might see fit to bless this little enterprise of ours? May the devil cut the f*cking toes off our f*cking foes So that we may know them by their limping.

Amen.

- Amen.

- Amen.

You the welcoming committee? Everyone else is upstairs, I guess? Come out, come out.

Wherever you are.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but unless you all come out right now, I'm gonna paint the wall with this Chinese fella's brains.

I don't care what kind of circus kicks you can do.

I haven't met a man who can dodge a shotgun blast point blank to the face.

Wanna get your head blown off? Not particularly, no.

I had a feeling you understood me.

I could see it in those slanty little eyes.

Seeing as how you're so smart, I take it you've done the math here? There's no way out of this for you.

Except maybe through my good graces.

Get up.

Just k*ll him already, Harlan.

Easy there, Lem.

Clearly, our quick return has been anticipated.

My guess is this one and his buddy already hid that gold real good by now.

But you're gonna take me right to it.

Aren't you, friend? Absolutely.

Good boy.

Just as soon as you let the rest of us ride off on some of your horses, hmm? Hmm.

Now, I could agree to that But we both know that would be a lie, wouldn't it? Yeah, I guess so.

Then why even ask? Well, this is a negotiation.

That was my opening bid.

"Negotiation"? You hear that, boys? This is no f*cking negotiation.

See, in order to negotiate You need to have yourself some leverage.

But I do.

Yeah? What's that? If you leave now, I won't k*ll you.

You m*therf*cker! Got you, you fucker.

We all have our secrets.

Shepherd.

Shepherd! Get off of me.

You sure you don't wanna wait for the next coach? Uh unless two coaches are coming, I think it's better this way.

You saved their lives.

That was yesterday.

Today, they're white, and we're yellow again.

Sorry about the mess.

Ah, it's fine.

We've already sent word to the Marshals.

We'll be able to collect the rewards on Harlan and some of his men and get the place fixed up real nice.

And these are real good horses.

They'll get you to Mooney Flat, no problem.

You can hire your own coach from there.

Thank you.

Get back safely.

And when you do, I hope you find something worth fighting for.

I'd ask you to come back and visit us again, but I'm not sure I'd mean that.

Cover your heads.

In about an hour, that sun's gonna be spitting heat down on you.

You're talking about starting a w*r.

Look around.

The w*r's already started.

We just had a b*mb go off on the streets of our city.

We have to assume we're all targets.

You sure you want to do this? We're gonna put them down and send a message.

They need to pay tonight!