Transcripts - Forever Dreaming

Looking for Love tour night one.

What are you looking
forward to the most?

It's the Looking for Love
tour. I need to find the one.

GATA: He's worried
about finding the one.

There's way too many hoes
out here to be worried about one.

Me and you have entirely
different philosophies

on dating; I love love, personally.

GATA: This dude is crazy.

He got his face on a
whole tour bus out here,

and he's worried about love?

You can't let this
opportunity pass you by.

DAVE: I've been waiting my
whole life for this opportunity.

I'm just saying, I'm gonna
use the social leverage

that comes with being a rapper
to find the one more easily.

She'll see me clearer.

GATA: Well, I hope you see me, ladies,

'cause I'm in every city and I need

two b*tches on me on
both arms, like a Rollie.

Really? It has to be two women
on both arms like a Rollie?

Like, let's... Women are not objects.

GATA: (SCOFFS) f*ck it. (LAUGHS)

♪

(WHIRRING)

♪

♪

Oh, my God.

- Is this it?
- This is her.

She is here, she is unbelievable.

Wow, you're pretty
liberal with the pronouns.

- Hmm.
- This is...

- unbelievable.
- Yeah.

You really got to appreciate
the craftsmanship, though.

- Look at these...
- Yeah, pure milk of magnesia in there.

Design it that way.

Wait, how much did she cost, again?

Uh, like, $,.

- You paid...
- There was a version

that cost grand, by the way.

- Okay, so the class w*r is real. This is...
- Yeah.

That one could stand and it
could, like, totally speak.

It could be like, "Hi,
Dave, how you doing?"

But this one's more than suitable.

Came with a nice, cute
wig. She is a brunette.

- This is... Is this a tampon?
- (GROANS)

I hope not. That would be such
a burden for me to maintain.

I don't know what this is.
It's cool-looking. I'll look it up.

- Hmm...
- This is... Looks like a vibrator or something.

(SOUND FADING): This
is crazy. So small...

What am I looking up again?

- The tampons.
- Oh. Yeah.

Oh. That's to warm her orifices.

It's kind of cold-blooded.

I mean, that's good, my
old way was so unwieldy.

- What was your...
- If that's the right... You don't want to know.

It involved a stick and a space heater.

And don't worry, this is not
gonna replace you in any way.

This is simply a tool
to elevate masturbation.

- I wasn't. Should I be...
- You shouldn't be.

Okay. I'm not weirded
out by this, weirdly.

- You really get me.
- Mm-hmm. Yeah.

But maybe don't f*ck her while
I'm in the house, you know?

I just don't know if I can unsee that.

- I can do that.
- You can?

I can not do that.

- Thanks.
- Yeah, sure.

What?

Yeah, I know, Robyn's leaving town soon

and you're excited
about it, but I'm not.

I'm actually really dreading it,

and it makes me sad
when I think about it.

Okay.

I'm gonna go read.

- Yeah. Okay.
- Here. I will be in the home.

Understood. Yes. Don't f*ck it now.

- Yes.
- Sure.

Must be pretty cool to
see your weird dreams

- become a reality.
- It really is.

It really is.

♪

♪ You don't even care about me ♪

♪ Tell me why I care about you ♪

♪ This ain't the movies ♪

♪ But I think that you're the one ♪

♪ Rachel, let me be your Mr. McAdams ♪

♪ Rachel, they gonna
call me Mr. McAdams ♪

♪ I'll take your name, girl, facts ♪

♪ It's insanely far-fetched,
I ain't playing ♪

♪ Why you think I've been rapping ♪

♪ To be Mr. McAdams, say yes ♪

♪ Don't lie to me, don't lie to me ♪

♪ Don't lie, you think
I'm f*cking sick ♪

♪ You think I lost my shit,
you think I'm weird A. F. ♪

♪ But that endearing freckle
up on your chin is too much ♪

♪ I got a freckle on my face, too ♪

♪ I know you've dated Taylor Kitsch ♪

♪ And I know you've seen
Ryan Gosling's d*ck ♪

♪ Ooh, aww, girl, I
don't know it all, girl ♪

♪ I just want to take you to
a ball, have a ball, girl ♪

♪ Valet will call me Mr. McAdams. ♪

DAVE: Okay.

(WHISTLES)

- That's a big song.
- Yeah.

Look at LD out here
cheating on his girlfriend

- with a movie star.
- Damn.

I mean, she's not my
girlfriend, technically,

like, the terms have
not been defined yet.

But, like, I'm just
making a funny comedy song

about the concept of a dream woman

- that everyone's gonna relate to.
- Mm.

But I would never
cheat on a girl. Sorry.

I'm not a dirtbag like you, Gata.

- I'm a good guy.
- Man, I was cheating out the gate.

I had girls doing my homework.

That's so cool to say.

- (CHUCKLES)
- I'm gonna go do a verse pass, okay?

Start me up, Johnny.

It's "Beam me up,
Scotty," you f*cking idiot.

Hey, bro, I know you
working on his shit,

but you need to turn that shit down.

- Look at this.
- (MUSIC PLAYING OVER PHONE)

ANNOUNCER (OVER VIDEO): What
happens when horny singles

with moderate to severe mental
health issues gather in one house

- in a tropical paradise...
- Tropical paradise.

... and are told they can't
have sex or freak out?

One way or another,
someone's gonna get nuts.

Yo, what's up? What's really real?

It's your boy Gata.

I'm bipolar, I'm a sex addict.

I ain't never went a week
without smashing a b*tch.

You know I keep the hoes in rotation.

I'm gonna win me a million
dollars on the Nut Haus.

ANNOUNCER: Nut Haus. This September.

GATA: Nut Haus.

If I f*ck and nut, bro, or if I go nuts

and have an episode and go
manic and ramp up too much,

I lose. But this show? (BLOWS RASPBERRY)

- Gonna be fire.
- That is the dumbest f*cking thing

I've ever heard in my damn life, Gata.

(LAUGHS): What the f*ck are
you talking about right now?

Bro, you just a hater, man. I'm tired

- of your hatin'-ass vibes, dawg.
- (LAUGHS): I'm not...

I'm not hating, bro, I'm
just being honest, dawg.

That shit is f*cking trash.

- They're exploiting you.
- Bro, just because you scared

to make a move and go after
shit that you want in life,

that's your problem, but me?

I'm a rock star, dawg.
I'm-a have moments where I look bad,

I'm-a have moments where
I look like the man,

But you, you ain't
never gonna have shit.

♪ It's insanely far-fetched,
I ain't playing ♪

♪ Why you think I've been rapping ♪

♪ To be Mr. McAdams, say yes. ♪

♪

- Hey.
- Hey.

(SIGHS)

- I'm nervous.
- You okay?

- (LAUGHS) No.
- What's going on with you?

Okay.

- Oh, wow.
- Yeah. Repositioning.

Am I supposed to reposition?

- Is, like... What's going on?
- No.

I'm-I'm, um...

I'm moving to L. A.

- You are?
- Yeah.

Wow.

- Yeah.
- That's awesome.

We talked about me
getting out of Wisconsin

and just, like, finally
having that push and, like,

I'm actually getting jobs here,
which is really exciting, and it's...

- It's excit... That's why I'm here.
- Yeah.

That's... It feels... It
makes it all feel real now.

- You know?
- Yeah. Yeah. It...

- The... us is real. It is real.
- Yeah.

It's always been real.

You know, we've been dating and...

Yeah. W-We go on dates.

- Yeah.
- We're dating.

Yeah.

You look terrified.

- Do I?
- You look really freaked out.

You know what it is?
I'm not freaked out.

It's just, like, for
me, whenever I get, like,

new, big information, it
just takes me a little while

to, like, wrap my head around things.

I'm a slow cooker, you know?
You got to let me roast.

That's all that's happening.
It's like, big information,

brain processing, neurons flying.

But, like, the neurons
are, like, fireworks,

- and that's good.
- Okay.

- Neurons? (LAUGHS)
- Yeah, the... Yeah.

I th... I'm... I am so excited.
Like, I was dreading you leaving.

- Okay. I'm excited.
- Let's kiss.

Should we kiss and seal the deal?

- I want to f*ck.
- All right.

- Later, though.
- Mmm.

- Congrats to us.
- Mm.

- To... B-But you, especially.
- Yeah.

- Mm.
- Mm.

♪

(DOOR CLOSES)

(KEYBOARD CLICKING)

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- (GENTLE PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)

Hmm.

(OVER EARBUDS):
♪ Mr. McAdams, say yes. ♪

Wow.

Okay...

- I f*cking love it.
- Uh... You do?

- Yes.
- Okay, 'cause obviously,

I'm being, like, intentionally silly

- at parts, but...
- Right, right, of course, but...

Dave.

I-I love it.

- Your hands are as smooth as eggs.
- Oh, thank you.

Would you ever be in the
music video for "Mr. McAdams"?

Of course. I-I-I... Uh, how could I not?

- How could you not? That's what I'm saying.
- Okay.

Um, like, are you
thinking sex scene, or...?

- Mm-hmm.
- Have you ever done one?

No, but I'm, I'm... I... I'm... I could.

Okay, well, we could talk about it.

I'm ready for that.

If that's what, if that's what you
think the, um, creative calls for.

- Cool.
- Which, I see it that way, too, personally.

- Yeah.
- I don't want to intrude or say it like,

"Come," like, "f*ck
me on camera," but...

Right. Yeah. Well, you know what?

We can figure all the details out later,

but I mean, it will come
down to scheduling...

- Mm.
- ... you know. But I would like to come.

Do you like Drake?

Love Drake. My favorite artist ever.

I've actually been crafting a
DM to him for about six weeks now

and I'm too big of a coward to send it

'cause it just has to
be the perfect message.

I don't even know if
he's gonna read it, but...

Well, we should just call him. I'll...

Oh, no, wait, he's in Ghana. Shit.

- Mm.
- Tell you what.

Beat me at an arm wrestle,

and I will put you on a
text with him right now.

- Hmm?
- Okay. Fine.

- Well, let's f*cking do this. Oh, my God.
- That's right.

- You're gonna connect me to him?
- Ooh.

Feel your heart racing.

Well...

It's like a bird.

I am a bird.

Well, if you're a bird, I'm a bird.

Yeah? Ah!

(WHISPERS): f*ck.

(MOANS)

Oh, my God, do you, like, lift weights?

- Jesus.
- (SHUSHES)

f*ck.

Jesus.

Dude, like, wake up.

Mmm.

♪

(GASPS) What the f*ck?

Oh, no, if this lipstick
isn't gonna come off... f*ck.

- (EXCLAIMS) Morning!
- (SHOUTS)

- I see you met her.
- What the f*ck?

Doesn't she look so cool now?

- How could you do this?
- She's so heavy.

She's, like, way heavier than
I thought that she would be.

We're the same size, so...

You're not the same size.
Are you centimeters?

No, 'cause that's four foot nine.
Are you a legal pygmy?

I don't know my height
in centimeters. I...

Why did you put lipstick on her?

I hate lipstick.

What?

"Why did you put lipstick on her, comma,

I hate lipstick."

- She looks like a whore.
- It is a whore, Dave.

You bought it to f*ck it.

- No, I don't f*ck it yet.
- Okay, I'm sorry. I...

It-it'll obviously come off.
I'll just f*cking take it off.

No, I'm not using, like,
other products that work

on human skin, like, this is machina.

Like, you don't understand
how it all works.

It's g... If it's gonna
work on human skin,

- it's gonna work on your...
- I'm looking at her lips

right now, and they're, like, caking off

as I rub, so I'm, like, worried
that there's permanent damage

- that can't be undone here.
- Jesus Christ.

I'm sorry, but I never
splurged on anything like this.

And it's, like, my thing and...

(EXHALES): Yeah.

Okay, well, yeah.

- I'm like...
- We are...

- It's just, this is...
- I'm sorry.

She's your...

stuff, and I shouldn't have...

No, I'm sorry.

It's just like...

Do you have any idea how long
I've been looking forward to this?

How long have you been
looking forward to this?

So long.

- So long?
- Yeah, I was on that f*cking tour,

just waiting to be in this bed with you,

but no, I was going city to city,

- trudging through this nation.
- Mm. (LAUGHS)

- EMMA: What are you most excited about?
- Meeting her.

My wife. Meeting her. I can't wait.

- GATA: Your wife? Bro.
- I have a good feeling.

Man, f*ck no, ain't looking
for love on this tour, man.

I already know what it is.
♪ Light skin ♪

♪ Dark skin, Puerto Rican, Asian. ♪

- What do you want out of life?
- Oh, you a hot Jewish rapper, bro.

What do you want out of life?
Like, what are your goals?

I just want to make it
to the top, bro, with you.

There's more to life
than, like, f*cking girls

- and, like, being rich.
- ... model you thought I was.

- I'm Rick James, b*tch.
- (LAUGHTER)

Ideally, of course, it's something cute.

Like, I'm walking down the
street and she walks out of, like,

a Barnes & Noble right as, like,

that guitar lick from
Goo Goo Dolls' "Slide"

is playing. (IMITATES GUITAR RIFF)

I've never f*cked back
here, but let me tell you,

right here, on this
mattress right here, though,

the middle of the hallway.

ELZ: Having to hear Gata have
sex every night is so annoying.

MIKE: I am really happy
for him, I'm not gonna lie.

ELZ: Dave has the most
unused rapper d*ck ever.

If you're gonna wrangle
the women, right?

- If you're gonna go out and you're gonna...
- Yeehaw!

Say you're gonna do it.

- Do you know what my type is?
- Yeah.

- Red hair...
- What?

- EMMA: What's your type?
- DAVE: I would say

girl next-door, sweet.

- No, because... Okay.
- DAVE: Show me the...

- Oh, my God.
- I have feet... hands for feet.

- What do you mean?
- Look it, I could hold your hand.

GATA: Let me tell you what I need.

Every woman I don't
got is the woman I need.

- You just make shit up.
- Damn. Hey, this is ghetto poetry, man.

I'm telling you, when you run this back,

you gonna get some gems out
of this, Emma, I'm telling you.

- (KEYBOARD CLICKS)
- DAVE: I think it's all starting to come together.

It's... it is slow, though,
just in the way it unfolds.

We're gonna have to shave some
frames off the ol' tail of it.

Dave, I can't keep frame-f*cking
this shit every time we're together.

No one's gonna notice
a two-frame difference.

I would notice the difference,
every single time I watch it.

I can't watch this and be tortured

- and seeing it's erroneous.
- Okay, hold on. Give me a sec.

This is an editing
session. I mean, hello,

welcome to the industry, Emma.

- Geez Louise.
- God, you're so annoying.

Okay. You know what you just earned?

You just earned a little
over-the-shoulder Dave time.

Yep, okay. Let's abandon the micro stuff

and let's talk macro for a moment, huh?

Macro?

I'm trying to finish
this for the screening.

I'm trying to help get us there.

Like, I'm trying to
help that. I understand.

You're the one who set up a
friends-and-family screening

without having me see
the thing, it's like...

I'm not sure we're telling
the right story, currently.

This should be a tale of a
sweet man looking for love.

Not me and my hype man
going across America

talking about who's
getting sucked the most.

Listen, as the person trying
to run Dave's foundation,

I would protect
everyone a little bit more.

And not to pile on, but I-I would like

to cut the Robyn footage from the end.

It's a documentary about
you looking for love.

- Yeah.
- And all the Robyn footage is really cute.

That has to be the ending.

I-I don't even tell
Robyn that "I love you."

Like, we're not even at that
place in our relationship.

Why is everyone trying to
force me to, like, advance

my relationship with this
person? I don't even...

I am not trying to force you to advance

- your relationship.
- We barely know each other yet.

It's called storytelling, Dave.

I know, it's also called
my personal life, Emma,

- and it's like...
- It this too personal for you?

- Yeah.
- Because you asked me to film you taking a shit.

That's impersonal from my van...

I don't care. Anyone can watch me shit.

A child could watch me
shit, I wouldn't give a f*ck.

Look, can you show me what
other end options could exist?

Here's what I had
before the Robyn footage.

DAVE (OVER VIDEO): And
if I'm not blown away,

it's not good enough, and
I'm not gonna settle. So...

EMMA: So, how many stones are
you gonna turn over to find her?

I'll turn over every
g*dd*mn stone in the world.

(KEYBOARD CLICKS)

Is this the only possible ending?

Will one of you f*ckers come over here

and pull my bush? (CACKLES)

Film him, film him. It's
perfect for the documentary.

MIKE: You're never gonna get
this guy to sign a release.

He's drunk as a skunk.

I just f*cked that skunk up

and deep throat his ass.

- Man...
- Oh, the Jewish penis of the skunk, right?

You deep throat the
two-inch stick of the skunk?

You're good with all
this? Right, brother?

- Shit, yeah, man!
- DAVE: What did Malcolm say?

BOTH: By any means necessary.

Dicky's looking for love,
and I'm looking for bud.

(LAUGHTER)

- DAVE: Oh, my God.
- EMMA: Make sure you're in focus.

DAVE: I don't even know if I'm in focus,

but this is the best shot.
This is, like, iconic.

I don't know, I just...

I'm ashamed of the amount I smoke weed.

- But I can't stop.
- GATA: Don't be ashamed.

- GATA: Just a part of the game.
- EMMA: Yeah, why can't you just let go?

DAVE: What about you,
Gata? What are your demons?

Not releasing semen is my demon.

DAVE: I feel like you're filling a void.

This guy right here is
a deep thinker, dude.

- It's not that deep.
- That's why all his songs

are so, like, complex and shit,

while I'm talking about,
"I really be having it."

DAVE: When I started rapping
is the first time I, like,

started getting high
'cause I just like escaped

who I... like, I'm just not,
like, naturally, like, a rapper.

Like, I need to, like, go
to another place to, like...

Dude, you got to tap
out of that David Burd.

I... Yeah, I don't know.

It's like, why do I
need to escape reality?

(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)

But my reality is,
uh, good. I don't know,

I just think, even
when my reality is good,

I think too much about what's
not perfect about that reality.

EMMA: Like, why can't
you just accept it?

I don't know. What... Don't ask...

- What are you doing?
- DAVE: Why can't you accept...

- No, I don't want to be on camera.
- Yeah, exactly. How do you feel?

You put up a wall for no reason.

Just let us love you.

- You're looking for love, too.
- EMMA: Will you stop?

- ELZ: See? See? See how it feels?
- I don't want to be on camera.

It's very invasive, isn't it?

When did you get so uptight?

S... Working with Dave.

ELZ: Working with Dave. You
talking about working for Dave?

I'm not working for Dave.

Does... Is this the right frame?

'Cause I think it would be
more impactful in a wide.

Where I'd be like, I'm more alone.

EMMA: It's a documentary.

(LAUGHTER)

CAROL: He's always been
like that, his whole life.

EMMA: I mean, it's wildly difficult

working with Dave because
he is an insane person.

DAVE: I don't want this footage, Emma.

(LAUGHTER)

MIKE: f*ck, marry, k*ll. I would...

f*ck Gata, 'cause he...
I know he's a good f*ck.

- (LAUGHTER)
- Uh, I would marry you.

k*ll Dave is probably the thing
that matters the most to me.

How do we k*ll Dave?

We'll say it on the count
of three at the same time.

One, two, three.

- Strangulation.
- Strangulate him with a pillow!

(BOTH CHEER)

- (LAUGHTER)
- ELZ: I would...

- MIKE: Strangle with... Dawg.
- (CHUCKLES)

I've never worked so hard
for someone in my entire life.

And I worked at Outback Steakhouse.

He is...

the most difficult musician
I've ever worked with,

and I worked with a lot of
random rappers who are terrible,

and this man, for some reason,
has just made life so difficult.

We used to take him shopping
for those action figures.

- Oh, geez. The action figures.
- Do you remember that?

DON: He would go back and
forth about which one to get,

and he would analyze
the pros and the cons...

- CAROL: Yeah.
- ... of each one.

It was the, what did he call
it? The no stone unturned...

- The "no stone unturned" method.
- Yeah. Yeah.

- No stone unturned.
- No stone unturned.

- No stone unturned.
- f*ck that phrase.

I got so stressed out
I had a kidney stone.

I pissed out a stone.
A stone out of my penis.

EMMA: It became very clear
that to properly document

this man looking for love,

I had to document how this
man looks for everything.

So I started filming our edit sessions.

So we're gonna have to shave
some frames off the ol' tail of it.

EMMA: No one's gonna notice
a two-frame difference.

I would notice the difference
every single time I watch it.

- I can't watch this and be tortured...
- Okay, hold on.

- EMMA: Give me a sec.
- This is an editing session.

I mean, hello, welcome
to the industry, Emma.

- Geez Louise.
- EMMA: Fine.

DAVE: Did you take my cheesesteak?

GATA: Nah. Was it good?

Honestly, it was very close to ideal.

The bread just, like,
wasn't good enough.

I mean, the couch is nice
and firm. It is a good couch.

It's almost everything
you'd want in a couch.

I will say, like, the pillows
are just, like, not quite right.

- (LAUGHTER)
- ELZ: He's always been this way.

MIKE: That's Dave. He's never satisfied,

it's never finished,
so we're never finished.

ELZ: As you f*cking know, very annoying.

And then he'll say, like, one thing

like, "Love you, big
cat," and it's like...

(WHISPERS): "You son of a b*tch."

Some people are afraid of the hard work

and the ethic that LD has.

Some people are afraid of
being pushed to the limit.

- It's the honest truth.
- You're growing up.

I'm trying, bro.

So working with him is like
working with a young Phil Jackson.

I can just envision that fool

saying, "Gata!"

Like, I can look in his eyes and tell

he want to bring the best out of me.

Or, like, Einstein, because he's Jewish.

(LAUGHTER)

When I met him, I
thought he was a psycho,

because he said he was
gonna be a famous rapper

and I was like, "What?"

He had a vision,

and it became a reality.

ELZ: I've been lucky enough to
work with my best friend since I was six

and he's changed my life, so...

He's the closest male figure I've got.

And my dad never, you know...

I believe in Dave so
f*cking much it's ridiculous.

- EMMA: Will you ever be satisfied?
- DAVE: Probably not.

At the end of the day,
I'm gonna need something

other than, like,
musical success to satisfy me.

- EMMA: Like what?
- Like love.

DAVE: I believe in the
truest form of love.

Someone's got to come along
and save me from this, like,

self-fulfilling prophecy I'm in.

EMMA: How will you know it's her?

When I meet my dream girl,

boy, oh, boy, will it be evident.

It's like, I will know early on.

It's not the type of thing that
you need to take time to figure out.

I'm just, like, not gonna
get into a relationship

and then, like, let it
slowly develop and, like...

If I'm not blown away,
it's not good enough,

and I'm not gonna settle, so...

EMMA: So, how many stones
are you gonna turn over to find her?

I'll turn over every
g*dd*mn stone in the world.

I'll turn over every
g*dd*mn stone in the world.

Is this the only possible ending?

(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)

(WHOOPING, WHISTLING)

ROBYN: I'm gonna go get some fresh air.

- DAVE: Okay.
- EMMA: Hey, you guys.

Hi. Wow.

- EMMA: Yeah?
- Did not see that coming at all.

So, like, what, all those
editing sessions, like,

they weren't even real, it
was, like, all a total charade?

I mean, it was very real.

Just not what you were expecting.

I got to be honest,
I do feel manipulated.

But in the most artistic way possible.

Well, I learned from the best.

- I'm, like, blown away.
- (LAUGHS SOFTLY)

I don't even have that
many comments or notes.

Like, obviously, there's
a few things we have to do

- before it goes, like, fully public...
- Oh, Dave.

This isn't our thing.

It's mine.

I'm not compromising
my vision for anything.

Are you being serious?

It's, like, the "Lil Dicky
Looking for Love" documentary.

- I literally hired you and br...
- You didn't hire me.

You didn't pay me.

You really want to do this?
You want to play this game?

Okay, all that hidden
footage type of stuff

that I never consented to,

can't use it, sorry,
never gave my permission.

No, there were those fliers all around.

So, sorry.

There will be no more notes.

You're out of stones.

BINIAM: Emma?

- Yeah? Hi.
- I'm Biniam.

BINIAM: Uh, Mike invited
me. I work at A.

- EMMA: Hi.
- Man, that last scene...

It's pretty f*cking wild, but...

I mean, I got to give
her credit, though.

She did have this whole f*cking
vision and she just got it.

You know? And I certainly
can't knock that, but...

You okay?

No. I feel pretty dumb.

- You feel dumb?
- I just watched minutes

of you "looking for love,"

and I was nowhere in sight, so...

Are you still looking?

Am I not the result that you wanted?

No.

I mean, yes.

Or...

Well, Emma went so
rogue on the whole thing,

like, it's hard to pin this on me.

Yeah, sure is.

What about all the stuff
that you said on camera?

Y-You talked at length about how,

when you met the right
person, that you were

just gonna immediately know right away.

Like, when did you say that?

- The...
- Look, it doesn't matter

when I said that, independent of

if it was before you
or after you or, like...

I have been basing my
philosophy and idea of love

on this, like, truly childlike belief

that love comes in and
sweeps you off your feet

in a way where you know
right when it happens,

and that's just not
the way the world works,

- and that's okay.
- I don't want to be,

this, like, sad f*cking version of that.

I don't want to be the understudy

to this, like, grand version
of love that you want.

I don't want to be the sad reality.

I want to be the thing that excites you.

You do excite me. It's
like, that's not...

Look, I'm on the Looking for Love tour,

sh**ting a Looking for Love documentary.

During that whole
sh**ting, I'm gonna be a guy

that more or less is, like,
endlessly looking for love.

- That's my image at this point.
- Dave, it's not your image, though.

Okay? It's not your
image, it's just you.

You are perpetually looking for love,

but you don't actually want to find it.

Not true.

- That's not...
- Maybe if I was Rachel McAdams,

I would've made your movie.

Maybe I, like... Y-You had no problem

writing a whole love song about her.

And yeah, I heard it. I'm sorry
that I'm a human being with ears.

I heard the song.

I'm sorry you heard that out of context.

But like, that song
doesn't mean anything.

Like the one that you wrote for me?

N-No. Not like that.

Dave, I am here, I'm in your house,

I...

I'm thinking that
we're, you know, like...

falling in love.

And I feel like an idiot.

- You're not an idiot.
- I feel really f*cking stupid.

- You're not stupid. You're not doing anything...
- Like, what am I doing out here?

- What am I doing out here?
- I can't... Stop.

I think things are
trending so well between us,

- towards a serious...
- "Trending well"?

Do you hear yourself? "Trending well"?

How much data do you need
to decide that I am worthy?

It's crazy, for someone who,
like, builds an entire career

off of, like, making
fun of his own flaws,

you expect everyone else to be perfect.

Work that out with yourself. (SCOFFS)

It's...

I don't expect perfection.
I know that nobody's perfect.

I understand that, but, like,
just like everything in my life,

I have such high expectations

and I try to have the
highest level of achievement

- at all times, so when I'm talking about...
- Oh, my God.

Women are not achievements,
Dave. We're not achievements.

It's... (LAUGHS)

You talk so much shit

about Gata being this,
like, misogynistic f*ck,

but you're actually just as bad.

You're just lying to
yourself and to everyone else.

Uh, what do you... uh, I
don't know, what do you...

uh, what am I supposed to
say? Like, I-I lo... I...

I'm not upset that you
don't love me, okay?

I'm just sad,

because I'm pretty sure you do,

but you won't commit
until you are % certain

that I am the absolute
best that you can do.

That has nothing to do with me.

(LAUGHS SOFTLY)

So I'm gonna go.

(STAMMERS)

- Please don't.
- Um...

You're a famous rapper. (LAUGHS SOFTLY)

So I'm sure your dream
girl will just show up.

Robyn.

I didn't have any control
over that documentary.

Like, it was not my vision at all.

I'm not your vision, either, Dave.

No one is.

Your vision is your vision.

(STAMMERS)

♪

(GRUNTS)

(GRUNTING, PANTING)

f*ck.

(GRUNTS)

♪

(GRUNTS) f*ck.

Oh.

f*ck.

God...

♪

(EXHALES)

♪

(PHONE CHIMES)

♪ I'm a hopeless romantic ♪

♪ I just got left, that hurt,
she was my best and worst ♪

♪ Come and collect your shirts ♪

♪ It cannot get much worse ♪

♪ f*ck it, I'm-a ball like Nerf,
f*ck it, I'm-a ball like Dirk ♪

♪ Hoping that my heart don't burst ♪

♪ Either way, I'll be Milly
Rocking in this b*tch ♪

♪ Hey, time of my life ♪

♪ I was just, we were just ♪

- ♪ We were just ♪
- ♪ Chilling ♪

♪ Getting high ♪

- ♪ We were just ♪
- ♪ We were just ♪

- ♪ Now we're just ♪
- ♪ I made you happy. ♪