11x04 - What's My Age Again?

[bunniefuu]

Anya: Somebody took my magazine.

Fiona: There has to be something here.

Vampire theme?

That would actually be not bad.

Fiona: That's so cliche though!

You would think that's cliche.

(Fiona, Holly J, and Anya laugh)

Oh my God, I've got it!

Alice in wonderland.

We could do exotic teas and miniature cakes.

Anya: I don't know, for my th birthday, I was picturing something a little less---

Juvenile?

Have you seen the Tim Burton version?

Oh! I got it!

Don't say it.

Paris!

Argh!

It's classic!

Holly J: You really wanna relive what you and Sav went through last year?

Oh, that's in the past, Holly J.

And in a few months,

I'll be off at Toronto U,

dating Dr. Chris.

Fiona: Should I add one more to the guest list?

Why don't we ask him?

Fine.

Dr. Chris: Dr. Christopoulus.

(Fiona makes kissing noises)

Dr. Chris: Uh, hello?

Uh, hi, it's Anya.

Dr. Chris: Hi! I've been meaning to call you.

He's been meaning to call me!

(Holly J and Fiona giggle)

Dr. Chris:

Am I on speaker phone?

Uh, no, I'm sorry, must've just had a bad connection.

Anyhoo, um---

My birthday is in two days, and I was just calling to remind you that I'm having a little party with a very classic theme.

Oh.

Okay.

He can't make it.

I'm so sorry.

So he asked me out tomorrow night!

He can't even wait until my birthday!

(Anya, Holly J and Fiona laugh)

and that is a negative for bromide.

You did the sodium and potassium test?

Aryou questioning my methodology?

(Laughs)

I'll jot down the results.

At another table.

Was it was something I said?

Girls are still a mystery to me.

Anya: Okay, so date wardrobe advice, please!

This one - look at me, I'm eighteen - or--- this one -

(seductive French accent)

Look at me, I'm eighteen.

(Fiona and Holly J laugh)

Oh yeah!

Anya: (Disgusted sigh)

Girl, you haven't updated your status.

University acceptances started arriving yesterday, and everyone's posting their status online!

Well, I'm sure my acceptance is on its way, but right now I have more immediate worries, like what I'm gonna wear on my date tonight.

Holly J: You coming to class?

Anya: Yeah, I'll be right there.

So, I hear someone has a birthday coming up.

Need help making it memorable?

Thanks, but that position's already been filled.

By who?

Uh, you wouldn't know him.

He's a doctor.

Okay, well, if you're not interested, just say so!

No need to make up imaginary boyfriends.

Dr. Chris is very real.

So what, he's like, forty?

Twenty-six!

You guys must have a lot in common.

I feel sorry for you.

Next year, I'll be off at TU dating my doctor, and you'll still be a total pig.

Okay, well, if things don't work out,

you've got my number!

(Mouths "call me")

(Whispers) Hannah!

(Whispers loudly) Hannah!

(Bell rings)

Hannah, wait up!

Hannah, Hannah!

Hannah, Hannah!

What is it, Connor?

In science class you gave me this look that people give when they're angry.

Um, did I do anything to make you angry?

You were staring at my chest!

So?

Wesley does it all the time.

No, I don't!

I have math club.

I'll escort you!

♪ It's an old song playing on the radio ♪

Okay, so my mom thinks that I'm spending the night here, and if she calls---

You're in the bathroom.

And, uh, text my phone, and I will call her back.

Holly J: I hate to be a cold shower here, but don't you think it's a little soon for sleepovers?

He's twenty-six, Holly J.

Yeah, but you haven't seen each other in a while.

Things could be--- different.

Okay, you're really not helping my butterflies.

Why is it so hard for everybody to believe that Dr. Chris could be interested in a girl like me?

Fiona: It's not; lots of girls I knew in New York dated way outside their league.

But there's no need to rush things.

If this doesn't work, there are other guys.

It's okay, Holly J, I'm an adult now, and I can take care of myself.

Whew!

(Sighs nervously)

(Door shuts)

Could you tell me I'm not going to jail.

I mean, it-it was self-defence!

Drew, let the lawyer talk.

Lawyer: I've read your statement.

Mostly it checks out, except for certain inconsistencies.

Like what?

You claim you were on the ground, on your back, being beaten from above.

But the report shows the victim was hit on the back of the head.

The girl who was with you--- Bianca.

She knew your assailant?

Did she have any reason to want to hurt him?

He was harassing her, and she---

I only hit him to stop him from hurting us.

It happened so fast, I didn't mean to k*ll him.

Okay.

Good.

As far as I'm concerned, you saved your girlfriend's life.

Self-defence will stick.

What about Anson's friend, Vince - the g*ng guy who threatened me?

The police have him in custody.

And they'll put him away for a long time?

Lawyer: With the information you give them, I'm sure they'll do everything they can to keep him off the streets.

Okay?

Okay.

(Sighs)

(Cars rumble)

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Sorry I'm late, there was an emergency biopsy.

God, I hate it when that happens.

(Both laugh awkwardly)

Uh--- Y-you don't need to worry, I will be at midnight.

(Laughs shyly)

Oh. Oh, God.

Um, Holly J was right!

I don't follow.

So have you met someone else?

Is it a nurse, or---

or that blonde, at the front desk?

Suzy?

How long has it been going on?

Anya, there's no one else.

Positive?

Yeah, unless I have a split personality.

Okay, stupid nerves.

Can we rewind and start again?

Why don't we grab a seat, you know, have some dinner, catch up.

Perfect.

(Both laugh)

So, uh, do you really think Suzy's into me?

(Laughs)

Jenna: Well, our little man's out cold.

Here's to three hours of peace and quiet!

Awesome!

That's just enough time for me to catch the heat-Lakers game at casa Dave!

Jenna: Wait, you're going out?

I helped, didn't I?

Yeah, but I just thought that we could spend some time together.

(Sighs) Right.

Well, I guess we have a TV here, too.

How else would we watch

"Dancing with the stars"?

The finals are on tonight!

Oh. Great.

I think there's like a retired basketball player competing or something.

(Flamenco music plays on TV)

University acceptances are arriving soon.

I should hear from TU any day.

What about other schools?

I didn't apply anywhere else, I wanted to be close to home.

For your mom.

And---

For her dreamy doctor.

Marisol: Can I take your dessert order?

Uh, the fried ice cream here is scrumptious.

Uh, I'm pretty full.

Uh, we can go halfsies.

I'll give you two a second.

I'm sorry, was I pushing dessert on you?

That's fine, um---

But it's a school night, we should probably be getting you home.

No need.

Um--- I'm covered.

(Sighs heavily) Um---

You're a great girl.

But?

I probably shouldn't have put this off.

I've been offered a job with "Doctors without borders", in Kenya.

(Sighs) Like, Africa?

I leave in a few days.

How long will you be gone?

A year.

(Sighs)

Yeah, I-I wish I could bring you with me.

Yeah, well, maybe we can see each other when you get back.

Sure!

(Sighs) Yeah, that sounds like a plan.

Yep.

(Sighs)

(Students talk quietly)

Owen: So--- How was your big date?

Your dreamy doctor propose?

(Books slam shut)

Holly J: Hey!

Birthday blues?

(Anya sniffles)

Well, you can cancel my party because he ended it.

Was it the age thing?

Please tell me he didn't meet someone else!

No, he's going to Africa.

He wants to save the world.

That bastard!

(Both laugh)

Sorry, I tried.

How could I have been so stupid?

You're not.

If he was staying put, it could've worked.

Yeah, he did say he wanted to take me with him.

See?

And a year isn't so long.

It'll fly by!

Your final few months of high school, summer, your first semester at university.

And then he'll be back and we can try again.

Okay, girl's night at Fi's.

Movies and mushu.

(Bell rings)

I've got student council, but if you need me---

I'll find you.

Promise!

(Sighs)

Whew!

(Sighs heavily)

(Keys click)

(Computer beeps)

(Computer beeps)

Anya: Oh my God, I--- I didn't get in!

I didn't get in.

(Sighs)

Holly J: (Over pa) Imogen Marino,

report to the office, Imogen Marino.

(Connor sighs)

Connor: Hey.

Um--- Do I have to find another lab partner?

Nah, I managed to smooth things over with Hannah, convinced her it was an aspie thing.

Look, mammaries are just another body part, and I don't have any, so---

So of course I'm curious!

Yeah, okay, but you can't stare!

I mean, girls think it's weird.

Then why do they wear tight shirts?

Some sort of test, I guess?

No, look, Connor, if you don't stop staring, you'll never get a girlfriend.

But I don't want a girlfriend.

Everyone wants a girlfriend!

I mean, double dates,

late night study buddies?

I know where you can get one!

I mean, are you free tonight?

Look, I don't think this is such a good idea.

Oh, have I ever led you astray before?

Twice.

(Drew sighs heavily)

So it's really over?

You were right.

The lawyer said it was self-defence, cut and dried.

(Bianca laughs)

Time to celebrate.

My mom will k*ll me if I skip.

It's not skipping--- if you have a note from mom.

(Bell rings)

(Bianca giggles)

(Tyson cries loudly)

He's been crying since I got home from school!

Make him stop!

Okay, my parenting book says babies mainly cry for three reasons: Hunger, exhaustion--- Or a code brown.

We-we just changed him!

Maybe he forgot!

Grab the new pack of diapers?

(Tyson wails)

Jenna: Shhh! Come on, it's okay.

It's okay.

Shhh---

Crap.

It's the last one.

They were on your list!

I-I forgot!

It was a long list.

But if you want, I can get some now.

You're leaving me alone with this?!

I won't be long!

(Tyson cries)

(Door slams)

(Patients chatter)

(Phone rings)

(Muffled chatter in the halls)

Dr. Chris: Anya, hey.

Anya: Hi!

Um--- Are you having a party?

Uh, sort of.

Um, shouldn't you be celebrating your birthday with your friends?

Um, I just wanted to--- float an idea by you.

What if I came to Africa too?

Um--- I mean, I know we've only known each other for a short period of time, but I really think it would be unfair to not to give us a chance.

Uh, what about high school?

Oh, graduation's only two months away.

And university?

Will be here when we get back.

Okay, you---

You can't be serious!

We-we've been on one date, we barely know each other.

(Cked sigh)

You--- you were never serious about me.

(Sighs) You are a smart---

Don't.

♪

(Sounds of ball game on tv)

♪

(Crowd boos, whistle blows)

♪

Hey.

So, you're hiring?

You sure you wanna spend your nights scrubbing nacho cheese?

Right now?

That sounds great.

Then I'll get you an application.

♪

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Audra: Yes, I understand.

Thank you.

(Phone beeps)

Um--- The detective phoned, and he said that he--- couldn't hold Vince.

So---So he's out there?

Well, we've filed a restraining order.

How is a piece of paper going to protect me?

Well, it's the best we could do.

Audra: (Frightened breath)

I warned you about that girl!

Mom, this isn't Bianca's fault!

Someone d*ed because of her.

Bianca's changed!

Well, she can't undo her past, and now, neither can you.

I just wish everything could go back to normal.

(Sirens wail)

Anya: Fiona?

(Door clicks shut)

Holly J?

Guys? I thought we were having a girls' night.

All: Surprise!

(Cheering and applause)

What is this?

Fiona: We couldn't let your th go uncelebrated!

But we decided against a Parisian theme.

I hope you're not mad.

Anya: Um, me?

Mad? No!

Good, 'cause there's this guy from TU I really want you to meet!

I already checked, he hates to travel.

Shall I introduce?

Uh, sure, just let me freshen up.

So, how did you score an invite to this grade party?

I told you, Anya and I are tight.

Her friends are probably just trying to fill the room.

I should probably go wish her Happy Birthday.

I'll come with.

Uh, me too!

No, no! This is where you find yourself a girlfriend.

Look at all these fine ladies!

(Rock music plays)

Hi.

Hi.

Uh---Did you know that cheese has four types of bacteria?

Holly J, can we talk--- about anything?

I think he was trying to flirt with me!

(Holly J and Fiona giggle)

(Sighs heavily)

(Door slams)

(Sighs)

(Water splashes)

(Drawer rasps)

(Door clicks)

Get out, please?

(Muffled sob)

(Crying)

♪

Jenna: Shhh--- Aw, shh!

My mom's already asleep!

She has the early shift.

He's hungry; can you feed him?

Okay, I'll heat up the bottle.

Okay, that's good.

(Tyson cries)

There must be an easier way!

We can't afford an electric bottle warmer.

(Tyson coos and whimpers)

Remember I was thinking about getting a job?

There's a dishwasher spot at Little Miss Steaks.

Part-time, evenings.

Oh.

We could use the money, right?

Of course.

Yeah, but I know you get lonely, so if you really don't want me to---

No.

Go get a job.

You'll be okay on your own?

As long as I know you're working for us, it's okay.

Thank you.

(Sighs)

♪

(Door clicks shut)

Owen: It's your party, and you'll cry if you want to.

What are you doing here?

Escaping your lame-ass friends.

All they talk about is what they wanna major in next year.

Well then, leave.

Can't.

Why?

Owen: Well, see, that would seriously decrease my chances of hooking up with you.

(Scoffs) You are such a pig!

Fair enough.

But I'm not the pig making you cry.

No, he's off to Africa.

His loss.

♪