- Did I say you
could speak, weasel?
Are you going to behave?
- I'm trying.
- Liar!
Such a pity, Mr. Westley.
If only you had to approve.
Oh, you poor, pathetic man.
Oh, nobody loves you.
Time's up.
Take it out!
Ferry schedule,
leaving Staten Island.
- The next ferry
leaving from Manhattan terminal
is in 20 minutes.
Okay, get out, I have to go.
- Wait.
- No.
- Please, just one more time.
- No way, Jose.
- Oh, my wife, she won't
do this for me, please.
- Oh.
- It's just--
- I would love to
meet wife, man.
- Please, I really need it.
No, but--
- You owe me another
50 for going over.
- Another 50?
I already gave you $400.
Hey, wait, wait, before you go
could you hit me in the face?
Slap me real good.
Hey, I gotta get to my
kid's recital, come...
Please, let me out of this!
- A very good masochist.
Awfully nice guy.
Not creep.
Okay, so don't
forget to subscribe
and join me next week
for the next episode.
I love you, Jellybelly.
- How long
is this screen test?
- Do you mind
if I strap you down?
- Gum commercial, huh?
- Are you ready?
- To be tortured?
Of course.
f*ck!
Okay!
You're liking this way too much.
Ladies, beware.
Unless, ya'll be into feather
dusters in your armpit
and barbecue prongs
in your groin.
That was 100%, bullshit!
But I got paid!
Oh God.
Okay.
Job was total BS,
guy was harmless.
Okay, I'm coming!
Ah, damn feed you.
Ooh, tuna entree.
She knows you're hungry.
Here you go.
Dad's day today.
Yeah, me too.
- Mom?
Mom?
Mom, wake up, wake up!
Wake up!
- Why does that keep happening?
Holy sh*t, Squeaks,
we're in 12th place!
Holy sh*t.
Finally.
Five million followers.
Five million followers?
Huh?
What?
No, it's not.
Oh, f*ck!
Oh, come on!
I swear to God.
That can't even happen.
Oh, my God.
I just posted my best episode,
and the dude's face is exposed.
Can you call me ASAP?
Exclamation mark, exclamation
mark, exclamation mark.
Okay.
Ah, I don't know what to do.
Please have a technician
reach out ASAP.
Five business days,
five business days?
- Slate, please.
- Hi, I'm Jess Peters.
I'm five-six.
- Your role, and state
that you're comfortable
with the explicit
material in the scene.
- I am auditioning for
Girlfriend Two.
I'm auditioning for
Girlfriend.
Okay.
I'm auditioning
for Girlfriend Two.
And I am comfortable with the
explicit nature of the scene.
Can I take it again?
- Happy birthday!
- Oh, what?
I can't believe you.
- Hey!
- How are ya?
Aren't you a little old
to have the pink hair?
- Yeah, it's for a job.
- Ah, a job?
Did you say a job?
- Yeah, I have
jobs, for my show.
- Ah, huh.
- And I almost...
Ah, nevermind.
How's your birthday?
- Good.
Good, darling, darling,
look who's here.
- Oh, yes.
Hello, Jess.
- Hello, Irina.
Where's Nathaniel?
- He has his closing
argument in the morning.
- Look at this.
- Oh.
- Happy birthday, Dad.
- Um...
no cameras, no cell
phones, no video.
Hello?
Which in your case
means, no life.
- Did you tell her?
- I will tell her.
- Tell me what?
- We've put an offer
down on the house.
- A second house?
- It's upstate.
- Oh, where?
- Chappaqua.
- Like a vacation home?
- To live.
- That's like three hours away.
You wanna move upstate?
- We wanna sell the apartment.
- What apartment?
- The one you're living in.
- Yeah.
- Can we back this up a second?
- I need to stop enabling you.
- Enabling me?
- Yes.
- Can we table this for later?
- My client is here.
- Oh.
- You just need
to get a real job
and start paying real rent.
- Yeah, I would love to.
But nobody can reasonably
afford to live here
and still pursue their dreams.
- Maybe you need to
pursue another dream.
Right?
- Toe tango?
What?
Yikes.
- Pretend like you really
like each other, okay?
Stare into each other's
eyes, super lovey dovey.
Feel up each other.
- How did I not
get into the top 10?
- Oh, who cares?
- Says a girl who makes all
her money off Live Hive.
- You're right, I do.
- Sorry, this last thing.
I don't know if I should
do this job tomorrow.
Can you come with me?
I need a bodyguard.
- And it's not gonna be sketchy?
- It's outside.
It's a public park, upstate.
I will get our train
tickets with the $14
that I made on monetization!
- $14.
Okay, deal.
But only if you film
me on the train.
Will you do that?
- Yes.
But if you ditch me
again, I'm doing it alone.
And that is dangerous
'cause I could die.
- You could die.
Okay.
- I'm on my way
to meet Tom B.
I'm going under the
name Lucy Byers,
attractive female writer
for erotic thriller
in the vein of Hitchcock.
Live inside the life of
my lead female character
to help me write the
ending to my film.
Writing experience is a must.
Will pay $1500, $100
cash upon arrival.
Girls only.
Guaranteed 100 bucks.
What do we think, shoes
will be staying on or off?
Kai.
- Jess?
- Yes, Richard.
- Don't call me that.
Are you recording me again?
- No.
- I told you not to record me.
You're violating people's
rights without their permission.
What don't you
understand about that?
- And you're not?
Because you work for the
law, that entitles you
to access hidden
cameras and IP addresses
as, what, evidence?
How's that any different?
- I can sue you.
Not that you're worth anything.
- Yes, sue me for--
- Jess.
You're driving us away.
- Dad.
- Jess?
Hello?
Hello?
- Okay, I've arrived.
As you can see,
it's quite desolate.
Pointing it, back.
Just gonna have to
record you instead.
sh*t!
- I'm sorry, I didn't
mean to startle you.
I'm so, I'm so sorry.
- It's okay.
- I'm Tom.
- You're Tom?
- Yeah.
- Who were you talking to?
- Oh, nothing.
I'm Je...
Lucy.
- Hi, Je-Lucy.
- Lucy, sorry.
- Nice to meet you.
- So frazzled.
- Yes, I could tell.
- Sorry, can you just
give me one second?
I just need to finish.
- Sure, take your time.
Defrazzle, fine, no problem.
- Okay, done.
- Cool.
- How are you?
- I'm, oh, I'm better now
that I found my co-writer.
Do you wanna
talk about the job?
- Sure.
- Cool.
- Yeah.
- I'm sorry I startled you.
- It's okay.
- I got you.
I'm sorry.
Well, basically...
Are you okay?
- Yeah, what's your accent?
- What do you think it is?
- British?
- Ouch.
- It's Australian.
- Thank you, thank you.
- Ah.
- It's offensive.
- I'm sorry.
- No, that's good.
Well, basically
it's all in the ad,
but I really just want
somebody to help me
come up with an
ending for my film.
- Hitchcock.
- That's right.
I've got the grunt of
the story work done,
but I just need an ending
that does the story justice.
- Okay.
Yeah, I can help you with that.
- Cool.
You have a really good resume.
- Oh, thank you, Tom.
- Very good.
You'll have to bear with me
'cause I'm not as good as you.
How did you get into writing?
- Ah, oh, it just
kind of happened.
I was working as a writer
for the last couple years.
- Cool.
- Before that I was
trying to be an actor.
- Oh.
Trying.
- Mm-hmm.
- Hmm.
Maybe you can be in this film.
- Maybe?
- As an extra.
- Yeah.
- If we can...
- Actually, I'd
be a great extra.
- I think you'd k*ll it.
We can both be extras.
- Glad that you're confident.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, how do you, did you
want me to write it myself?
- Oh no, I thought we
could do it together.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
- Okay, yeah.
Thou shall be done.
What was your last name?
- Brady.
Yes.
- Tom Brady.
- Yes, Tom Brady.
- With the super soft hands.
- Yes, everybody says that.
Well, everybody who
doesn't punch me.
Yeah.
- So sorry to hear that.
Cool.
How do you wanna proceed?
Do you send it to me, what
you've written so far?
- Do you have time now?
- To read it?
- To work on it.
- Oh.
Ah, oh.
- It'll only take 90 minutes.
So.
- You know that guy?
- Where did he come from?
- I have no idea.
- Did your ex follow you all
the way from New York City?
- He's taking the
break up really hard.
- Yes, huge fall from grace.
Should we get going?
- Yeah, where are you--
- Well, I don't have my script,
so we'll just go to my house,
grab it, continue our date.
- Oh yeah, I have time.
- As promised.
- Did you say this was a date?
- I did, but then
I paid you money.
- Right.
- So.
It's a bit of a weird date.
- It is, isn't it?
- Isn't it?
- Okay.
- Shall we?
- Yeah, let's do it.
Should I invite my ex?
- Nah, he's busy.
- So why a
script?
Like why not a novel?
- Oh, novels are
just a bit passive.
I wanted to...
Well, I came up with this
k*ller concept for a film,
and I thought, well, I want
to get it up on its feet,
and really grind
it out, you know?
- This is way
further than I thought.
- Would you
mind if I smoked?
Just a little bit?
- Go for it, I don't care.
- Thank you.
If there is a place to
smoke, it's out here.
Look at it, beautiful.
Mm.
You want some?
- I don't usually smoke.
- No?
- It makes me paranoid.
Did you hear that?
You heard that?
- I did.
Watch out!
Oh, the man-eating bunnies!
- The man-eating bunnies.
- Well, that was good.
- Don't touch me.
How much further we
got on this trail?
- Not long.
- Where are we?
Is this where you live?
Wait, you live in a barn?
Oh, boy.
Do you like living
all the way out here?
- I do.
It's nice, it's quiet.
It's private.
Nobody can see you.
Just me and my little
purr ball, Milo.
- You have a cat?
- No, I don't.
But I want one, I
want heaps of 'em.
I got mice.
- Ah.
I have a cat.
You could borrow mine.
- What kind of cat have you got?
- A gray kind.
- Could you untangle
this for me?
I spend so long untangling
these bloody things.
- Yeah.
I have the same problem.
I probably lose four
minutes every day,
which probably amounts to
eight years off my life.
You play piano?
- Nope.
- Do you mind if I play?
- Of course, go for it.
I'm just printing the script.
You're quite good.
- Ah, geez.
- Can I sit here?
Where'd you learn to do that?
- Ah, my mom taught me.
- Huh?
- When I was six.
She was an amazing pianist.
- That's an interesting
thing to say about your mom.
She was an amazing penis?
Oh.
- That's so ridiculous.
- You know, you are much
prettier than your picture.
- What picture?
- The one in your email.
- What?
No way, that's an
amazing picture.
- Hmm?
- 1500 likes on it on Facebook.
- Oh, well, wow.
Shouldn't have said anything.
1500 likes on Facebook.
Wow, incredible.
- What's wrong
with that picture?
- It's not who you are.
- Because you know who I am.
- I have an idea.
- It's glamorous.
- It's phony.
It's phony.
You are not phony.
It diminishes your intelligence.
It looks like your name
might be like Kandi with a K.
- Okay.
Get lost.
What do you do for work?
I know you're trying
to be a writer,
but what do you do
to afford all this?
- I'm a trapeze
artist.
- Oh my God.
- One thing you should
know about me, Luce,
I like to have fun.
I don't like to take
things very seriously.
I don't take my
career very seriously.
And I don't take
money very seriously.
- Says people with money.
- Would it change
your perception of me
if you knew I was rich?
- No.
- Aw, that's a shame.
I'm an old romantic.
- Can I use your restroom?
- About that.
I have an outhouse.
- No, you don't.
- I live in a barn.
Sorry.
- Who doesn't
have a real bathroom?
Are you kidding
me with this sh*t?
Oh, it's so creepy.
Yuck.
Ah!
Not going to that.
Oh!
Hey guys, oh my God.
I'm so sorry, my
live feed cut out.
The service out here
is super shoddy.
Anyway, I am recording it also.
I'm gonna upload an episode
for all of you later tonight.
I'm at...
No, no.
Ah!
Why?
Crap.
Okay, so back to recording.
Right there.
So I'm at Tom B's, and we are
about to write the script.
I don't know, it seems legit.
Something is
definitely off though.
He's also surprisingly
good looking.
Oh, I did make 100 bucks.
He actually paid.
Wait, where did I put it?
Ah.
Ah, sh*t!
No!
Kandi with a K.
Jesus!
Holy sh*t.
Oh.
Really?
Where's the script?
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- Shut up.
- What happened to your hair?
- What's your wifi?
- Why is your hair
all standing up?
- What's wrong with my hair?
- Your hair's all
standing up, isn't it?
- Leave it.
- Okay, fine, I'll leave it.
Why?
- Who cares?
I don't kiss on the first date.
- Guess what?
- What?
- Neither do I.
- Okay.
- Sorry.
- That's okay.
Sorry.
- Woo!
What?
- You sound like
such an American.
- Yeah, well, I guess...
- Oh!
- You're rubbing off on me.
It is too bad about
our rule, Ms. Byers.
- It is, isn't it?
- Mm-hmm.
- Mr. Brady.
What is this?
You're trouble.
- Oh, I'm trouble?
- Mm-hmm.
Where are you going?
- I don't wanna trouble you.
- I like when you trouble me.
This is a bad idea.
- Why?
- I just don't want it to get
in the way of our writing.
- It could make it
more it more fun.
- What the hell is that?
- I don't know.
Will you check that?
I'm just gonna close this.
Gotta keep those bunnies out.
Are you okay?
I'm gonna get the script.
- Great.
Oh my God.
Get yourself together, Jess.
Ooh, scary.
- Okay, give me.
- So, just a little backstory
before you read this.
It's a two-person script.
The main character is fleshed
out for the most part.
The secondary character
is what I need help with.
I really want this to feel
like it's actually happening.
- Okay, excited to read it.
What kind of story is it?
- It's a psychological thriller.
I haven't written any dialogue.
I've been waiting for
the right voice clearly.
- You want me to read now or
wait till we go somewhere?
- You're cute.
- Okay.
Just 'cause we almost
skipped to third base,
doesn't mean that
you're off the hook
and don't still owe me a dinner.
- Owe you dinner, really?
- Okay.
"Classified k*ller," shocking.
Fade in, exterior park, day.
Jess, 27, is one of those
beautiful but interchangeable
American girls.
A bit sure of herself and
yet somehow still angry.
She sits consumed by
her absent photos,
obsessed with selling
herself for clicks,
fixing her hair and pretending
to be far more
comfortable in this world.
Tom approaches, an Australian
man, tall and charming.
You're Tom?
- I'm sorry, I
didn't mean to startle you.
I'm so sorry.
- Do
you mind if I play?
Can I use your restroom?
- I have an outhouse.
Just gonna close this.
Gotta keep those bunnies out.
- If her
character dies, she dies.
Cute.
- You like it?
I bluffed his age a little bit.
I'm yet to add the bit about
almost kissing on the piano.
I thought that was rich.
I think that'll really
push the audience
to root for their relationship.
Or at least just wanna
see 'em f*ck, you know?
What do you think?
- What do I think?
It's three pages.
- To start.
- Right.
Yeah.
- You don't like it?
- It's good.
- Ah, you're lying.
- Yeah, well, it's
pretty f*cking creepy,
but it's interesting.
Should we go?
- What do you think
about the title?
I like it 'cause it implies
like one of us is the k*ller.
You know, like one
of us kills people.
- Yeah, I got it.
- Yeah, but who?
- You clearly.
- That's rude, isn't it?
- You wrote, "Jess is
trapped in your house."
- His house.
What if, what if it is
revealed Jess exposes parts
of herself that makes her out
to conclusively be the k*ller?
Bam!
Completely takes the
audience by surprise.
What do you think?
- Fine, Jess is the k*ller.
You can't have a male
k*ller these days anyway.
- Why?
- It's too predictable.
Man lures woman back to his
house and tries to k*ll her?
Like we haven't seen that a
thousand times.
- Huh.
Huh, I hadn't thought of that.
- Of course, you hadn't.
Let's go.
- Before we go, what do
you think of the idea
of creating the
story through improv?
- Huh?
- I think it would be so
much fun to create the ending
through improvisation.
You know, really b*at
out the second act.
I'll be the main character,
you be Jess, huh?
Just get it up on its feet
like we've been doing.
You know, I too once
dreamed of been an actor.
- Ah, sure, that can work.
Let's improvise in the park.
- Stay with me here.
'Cause I really wanna
pretend to be these people.
I wanna live inside the
heads of these characters.
I think, as far
as intentions go,
Tom's intentions are clear.
- Are they?
- It's Jess that
I've been stuck on.
What does Jess want?
- What does Tom want?
- I can't tell you
that, you minx.
How about this?
You come up with your intention,
and then we'll improvise,
see how it pans out.
Who survives?
What do you think
about that, Jess?
Do you like the name Jess?
- Uh-huh.
- Tom and Jess, it's
like Tom and Jerry.
Except I'd never
torment you that much.
- Yeah, I need some air.
What?
The windows are all boarded?
Why are your windows
all boarded?
- It's a barn.
- I need to make a call.
Do you have service?
- Yeah.
- Can I use your phone?
- Of course.
Sorry, I'm not freaking
you out too much, am I?
- Yeah.
- I'm just having fun.
You know, I wrote the script
while you were
playing the piano.
Seriously, while you were
playing so beautifully,
I just thought,
"This is perfect."
I think it would be so
much fun to really live
inside these characters' heads.
Just really start
to understand them.
While you were playing,
I was like, "Oh, yes."
This is like an onion, there
are so many layers to unravel.
- I'm like an onion?
What are you?
- I'm like a, like a walnut.
I'm delicious and hard.
How about this?
You come up with the
next part of the script,
I'll give you another 100 bucks?
Great, okay, let's review.
So we've started
writing the script.
We've established the
female is the k*ller.
I love that, okay.
We need something
big to happen now
'cause I feel like the
audience is getting bored.
What do you think, Ms. Byers?
- I don't know.
- Oh, come on, I'm paying you.
- Jess turns into a vampire.
What, sci-fi thriller,
they're all the rage.
- Cute.
How about this?
Everything is better
when the lights are out.
- Holy sh*t.
Okay, yeah.
You can turn the
lights back on now.
- Oh, but how are we
gonna create the right ambiance?
We're trying to write
an award-winning script.
- Yes, super creepy.
Tom, f*ck off!
Don't!
At least turn off the
music, it's really loud.
No, don't f*cking!
- Oh, this definitely
needs to be in the film.
- Don't, don't!
- Woo!
- Don't, please.
Oh, don't please.
- Oh, you
like it, don't you?
- No.
No, I don't.
- I feel like
you're the kind of person
who likes being scared.
- Yeah, what
tells you that?
- You've come back
to a stranger's house
in the middle of nowhere.
Did you know when
a person is scared
they release endorphins.
The same hormones they
release when they're aroused.
- That's why you
wrote a scary movie,
so I'd get aroused by
it and sleep with you?
- Ah, that is
so f*cking boring!
My character needs a challenge!
- Tom, are you okay?
Do not f*ck with me about this.
Tom.
Tom?
- Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
You okay?
- Yeah, fine.
I'm fine.
Oh, I f*cking hated that.
- I was just having fun.
- Yeah, so fun.
I gotta go.
Maybe we can meet tomorrow.
- I can't tomorrow.
- Next week then.
- Tied up next week.
- Oh, the extra 100 bucks.
For your next bit.
- It's all about the money.
- Thanks.
You just gonna let me go?
- You gotta get to your cat.
- You didn't even try.
What happened to
being an old romantic?
Don't even offer
the lady a drink?
- You send a lot
of mixed signals.
- Yeah, you like that though?
One drink, then I'll go.
- Ah, yeah, that is it.
Come on.
Come on.
Boom, there it is again.
Downtown.
Come on, dance with me.
Come on.
Let's boogie.
- You're not writing
a romantic comedy.
- Shush up.
It's the point of
living off the grid.
You can just let
loose and be yourself.
Oh, that's it, that's it.
Undo all that, loosen up.
Oh, shh, oh, that's it.
Loosen it up.
Come over here.
Get on it, come on.
Get on it.
- Woo!
- Okay.
See you tomorrow.
- Yeah, when you
wake up in my bed.
- Ah.
- What, what?
- I need...
I need my carrot.
- At least the
speakers will survive.
- Where are we going?
- Where are we going?
To the bed, baby.
What is that?
- What, what?
- No.
- Oh my God.
- What is this?
- It's just extensions.
- Extensions?
What, like fake hair?
- No, it's not fake hair.
It's real, it's
just not my hair.
- You have somebody
else's hair on your head?
- No.
Sort of.
Oh my God.
- Can you take it out?
- What, now?
- Yeah.
- No, they're--
- Why?
- Oh, they're like woven in.
- Oh.
Well, is there anything
else on you that isn't real?
Maybe like these things, huh?
- f*ck off!
- Oh!
What are you gonna do about it?
You know what I want?
I want this.
- Yeah, you do.
- I'm hungry for it.
Yes.
Get these going.
Get these off.
- Easy.
- Easy, no.
- All right.
- Oh, gosh, what's
happening now?
- Oh, shut up.
- Oh, no.
Oh, gosh.
What are you gonna do now?
- Where are your ropes?
- My ropes?
- Yeah, your ropes.
- How did you know I had ropes?
- I saw them in your
video, Toe Tango.
- I don't know if I trust you.
- Well, you don't have to trust
me, but you will thank me.
- Whew.
All right, take this off.
Take it off.
- Are you lying?
- No.
- Got 'em.
- Here?
Oh.
Oh gosh, kinky.
- Shh!
- Did you want to
tie an actual knot?
Because I'm assuming
you want to tie--
- I know how to tie knots,
thanks.
- Do you really though
because this doesn't--
- Stop talking.
- Okay.
Fine.
Oh yeah, get this side.
- Have you ever heard
of capture bonding?
It's when people are sexually
attracted to their captors.
It's a fetish.
- Hmm.
What about the captor being
attracted to the c*ptive?
I bet you're captivated by that.
- Maybe I am.
- Mm, oh gosh.
- Do you
have any fetishes?
- Do you?
- I ask the questions.
- Okay.
- This is the part in the script
where Tom reveals himself.
- Oh, is that so?
- Mm-hmm.
Uh-huh.
If he doesn't,
he will be tortured
by the tickle monster.
- No, no, ah!
No!
Ah!
- Seriously, you said
you wanted to improvise.
Let's play a game.
I'll ask you questions, and
if you answer truthfully,
you will be rewarded.
If you lie, you
will be punished.
- Ah, no, ah!
- You're so ticklish.
- Ah!
I like this game.
- Okay, first question.
Is Tom your real name?
- Yes.
- So impatient.
Where's your family?
- Dead.
You're lying.
- They're in Australia.
What, do you wanna
see my passport?
Foot in mouth!
- Have you ever lured a woman
home to have sex with you?
- Oh, of course I have.
I am a human.
But I didn't lure her.
She mutually consented
to making love to me,
and she mutually
consented to coming.
Toe in mouth now.
- Why do you live
all the way out here?
- So nobody can hear you.
- I can't tell with you.
- That would ruin the game.
- Where are the scars from?
- Was a...
cooking accident.
No, okay!
Okay, okay!
- You're lying.
- Isn't it obvious?
Actually, I don't really know.
- You don't know
how you got b*rned?
- Okay.
Okay, fine, okay!
- Stop lying!
- No, no!
Okay, I'll f*cking tell you.
When I was five, there
was a fire in my house.
And I was there, but I got out.
But my mom d*ed.
- Is that true?
- You tell me.
- God, you're too
good at this game.
Hmm.
Did you know my mom d*ed?
- No.
- Did you know her name?
- No.
- But you know my cat's name.
- You told me.
- I didn't tell you.
- You didn't tell me.
- What else do
you know about me?
- I know more about you
than you know about you.
Can you untie me now?
- I'm going home.
- What, now?
- Mm-hmm.
- But, but what about
me, how will I survive?
I'm tied up here.
- I'm sure you'll figure it out.
- But you don't
know the way home.
- I'll follow the breadcrumbs.
- What if the real k*ller
is out there in the woods?
- I'll take my chances.
Give you some time to
reconsider your intentions,
you sick f*ck!
- Oh, well that's not very nice.
Wait, are you actually leaving?
- k*ller in the
woods, I like that.
I'd be careful if
I were you, Tom.
We already decided who
the real k*ller is.
- Okay!
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
I saw your web series.
Can you blame me?
It's kind of hard to miss,
and you weren't exactly
offering any truth.
Okay, fine, clearly
I'm the antagonist.
Good luck getting
out, Barbie Girl.
- No!
Come on.
Ah!
- Three.
Two.
One.
Here I come.
I told you you
didn't tie it right.
- Don't come any closer.
- Or what?
- Or I smash your
signal blocker.
Yeah, I know what
this is, you lunatic.
- sh*t!
sh*t.
- Stop.
Stop!
- What now?
- Dad, I need your help.
- Jess.
Jess, I'm not gonna give
you another lecture.
So you can put me in
another episode.
- No, no, no, no, I'm
not messing with you.
I swear.
No, no, no!
No, come on!
Oh, please, I'm begging you.
I'll just, I'll go.
I won't even tell
anyone that I was here.
I don't even know
anything about you.
I just, I don't wanna die today.
I can't die.
- What if, part of you had
to die, in order to live?
- No, no, no.
Tom, stop!
- Tell me, why
shouldn't you die?
Your character I mean?
- Because it's...
It's just another story.
The script, you said it...
- Go on.
- The, the, the char--
Just, you need to
change location.
You said you didn't want
your audience to get bored.
You can't stay inside
a whole film.
- Ah.
No, I do like the
idea that you get out.
But where will you go?
- I will go home.
I'll go home.
I'll hide in the woods until
I know you can't find me.
I'll be like, I'll be
like the protagonist
that's always trying
to track you down.
- What if, what if, what
if, what if, what if?
What if?
What if you go home,
and when you get there,
and I'm already there.
And you go to your
window and open it.
And I'll be on the sidewalk
across from the organic market.
- Oh g*dd*mn it.
Tom, stop f*cking with me!
- You f*ck with
people all the time!
Good luck on your escape.
Go on.
I'll do the slow
walk after you leave.
- Stop, stop!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on.
Beautiful.
You look like Karl Lagerfeld.
Boop.
Okay.
Jess tries escaping
into the woods.
Too bad she's too slow
because of her enormous ass!
Oh, come on, laugh a little.
All good horrors have comedy.
- So you're pretending
to be American now.
- See, this scene, too shaky.
Might need to redo it.
But look, look at this.
This turned out great.
- Have you ever
heard of capture bonding?
Some people are sexually
attracted to their captors.
It's a fetish.
- What about the captor being
attracted to the c*ptive?
I bet you're
captivated by that?
Oh, I'm sorry.
Did you not know I was filming?
Silly me.
I'm not even the expert
on hidden cameras.
- Yeah, I knew you were filming,
you misogynistic prick.
- No, misogynists hate women.
I don't hate women.
I just hate you.
Did you know, that I knew,
that you were filming me?
Great placement.
I mean, the glasses
on the table.
Oh, great, very central.
Oh, and the little pin
above the fireplace.
Subtle because people just
always take their little pins
and put it above fireplaces.
Really good, genius.
- Who was in the woods?
- You know, I actually
thought to myself,
if she goes anywhere
off the beaten path,
I'm gonna let her go.
Oh, I'm sorry, am I boring you?
- How long
is this screen test?
- This is great content.
Really good.
Stop.
Okay, okay!
Oh, oh!
- Are you ready?
- To be tortured?
- Hashtag relatable.
- What is it?
What'd you put on my eyes?
- What'd you put on my eyes?
- Can you
take if off my eyes?
Take it off my eyes right
not, you son of a bitch!
- Right here.
This.
Flubbed this part, didn't you?
At what point after you
realized that Bryan's face
was exposed did you decide
to keep the video up?
- I didn't know.
- 100% bullshit!
Wasn't that you didn't know,
it's just that you didn't care.
What's your password?
- I'm not giving
you my password.
- Your password or die.
- F-U-C-K-Y-O-U.
- B-A-R-B-I-E, star,
dollar sign, enter.
Let me ask once more.
At what point after you
realized that Brian's face
was exposed did you decide
to keep the video up?
- I didn't know.
Oh f*ck, ah!
- God, it's really woven
in there, isn't it?
Oh.
Oh man, that is hideous.
At what f*cking point?
- Like 10 minutes after.
- What inspired you?
- Somebody
commented on my channel
that if I kept the video up,
they would share it with
this massive network
connected to their channel.
I wanted to move out
of 11th place.
Please.
- Thank you.
The truth, thank you.
My next question is this.
Would you rather stay in
11th place with no harm done
to anybody or move to first
even if it costs
somebody everything?
- Number one, the fir--
- Bingo.
- No, no harm done.
Oh, no, please, no,
please, no!
Ah, please stop!
- This is disgusting.
Just tell the truth.
The next part is
multiple choice.
Did Bryan, A, hire
me to k*ll you?
B, k*ll himself?
Or, C, both?
- It was a mistake, I don't...
- Wow.
- It was false advertising.
For a gum commercial, really?
- Your brother and father,
Nathaniel and Richard.
Can I call them
Nathaniel and Richard?
They're lawyers.
What do you think their
stance on this would be?
Or should we ask them?
- Please, no.
- Tick, tock.
Tick, tock.
- C, it's C, both.
- Ah.
Brava, ragazza,
grazie mille, si.
Okay, perfect timing.
God, your followers
are gonna love this.
- You got what you
wanted, can you let me go?
Oh, no.
You know the whole
tickling thing
is likely a result from trauma.
It's, it's, I've researched it.
It's like a need for power
by making others feel small
and under control.
I'm not responsible for that
or any of the twisted sh*t
that people put online.
- Who are you to decide
that it is twisted sh*t?
- I just mean that,
ah, it's their choice to
do what they want to do.
I'm only highlighting what
they're already doing.
And anyway, they're lying.
They lie in their ads to get
away with perverted sh*t!
- You lie.
You social media stars,
you think the world is all
about your shitty
f*cking content.
No, this is people's lives.
And Jess, this is your life.
- I lie to help people.
Just like my father.
- Shh, shh, shh,
shh, shh, shh, shh.
Shut up!
I am the director,
and you are my puppet.
You speak when I
say you can speak.
I'm gonna go finish
writing your speech.
Get ready to be famous.
- Tom, let me out!
Help me!
Let me out!
- You wanna rehearse?
- I'm Jess Peters, or as
you guys know me, J-PEEPS.
- Perfect, okay.
- This is the last time--
- Sorry, I don't
wanna interrupt, I just--
- Yo, Kai.
- The other people's
hair out of your hair.
- Please don't.
- Oh God, what's this?
Oh, oh my f*cking God.
That came out so easy.
- What the f*ck?
- And I do want to get
your eyelashes if we can.
So just behave for me.
- What is she doing?
- Right now.
- She's really
committing to this one.
- I should have went with her.
- Dude.
- Take, it off!
- Okay.
We're just gonna get it off
nice and slow now, okay?
Okay, gotta get
the other one now.
God, there it is.
Good God, it's really--
- Who is J-PEEPS?
- You follow her.
- Good, that
one was, okay, good.
Now.
I think we're ready J-PEEPS.
Continue reading.
- I'd like to apologize to you,
my loyal followers.
- Keep going.
- Because I have
betrayed your trust.
- Good.
- What I'm about to
say may shock you,
but the truth is that I have
faked every episode of my show.
- Perfect.
- It's a little weird.
- Over the past few years,
I manufactured situations.
- Dad watches this.
- Doctored footage,
added audio,
and did my best to deceive
you about who I really am.
- You bitch.
- In order to make myself
seem heroic and likable.
- Mm-hmm.
- She's faking this.
- Nobody has ever hurt me.
Nobody has taken
advantage of me.
- Nope.
- I have fabricated
all of these abuses,
and my entire show is bullshit.
From now on, do not like,
follow or subscribe.
Goodbye.
- And end recording.
- Who is this guy?
- What the hell?
- Wow, you really
are a bad actress.
Impressive.
Okay.
- What are you
gonna do with that video?
- Now.
- I don't know if she knows
she's being live streamed.
- Do you wanna f*ck me?
- She's a fetishist now?
- Oh, good of you to offer?
- Does Mom know you watch this?
- No, okay.
Here we go.
Bam.
Delete.
Yes, delete that.
Bam.
Bam.
- On, come on, please.
- Bam.
- Just keep my channel, come on.
- Hold on.
And this one should be, yep.
- Why do you have
to delete them all?
- You have a
lot to bargain with.
Be my prisoner, delete.
- Why are you doing this?
- Latex leggings, that
sounds great, delete.
Deleting this one.
Now this one, this one stays.
I can't wait to be a lead
on "Classified Crazies."
It's gonna be amazing.
This one delete.
This one I thought
we could do together.
Just for old time sake.
Just gotta give me that
finger onto the button!
Okay, because we're
gonna to do it together.
It's gonna be nice.
Come on.
Get it over there.
Get it over.
- Ah, you bitch!
- Oh.
- Oh!
Oh my God!
What are you gonna do?
What are you gonna do?
- Come on, Jess, stop.
Don't do that.
- What are you gonna do?
What, are you gonna k*ll me
in front of 20,000 people?
Huh?
You see?
We're live.
There are cameras
everywhere.
- This
guy is a lunatic.
- Live.
k*ll me, I dare you.
- Oh my God.
- She won't do it.
- Then you'll really
be the k*ller.
Oh, look.
It's what you've always wanted.
See?
I'm not the only one who
likes watching you suffer.
- f*ck you, you piece of sh*t.
- Oh my God.
Jess, stop!
- And cut!
- No, no, no, get
it back, come on.
- Guys, get that back up.
- What?
- That is a wrap on the barn.
Beautiful work, people.
- All right guys,
let's get out of here.
We gotta get going.
- Yo, that bed was
so tight under there,
when you guys were
bouncing up and down.
I almost got a concussion.
- What about when
she reached for the rope?
- She got so close, she
almost touched my hand.
Dead ass.
- And what about you, what
were you doing in the park?
- Hey man, I was
running to Vegas.
- Oh, my God.
Okay, great stuff.
Jess, let's go.
Great work, really
special stuff.
Now, money, money, money, money.
You're all about the money.
Awesome.
Great work.
- Run.
- But he
didn't physically hurt you?
- No.
Yeah, when he
ripped out my hair.
- The hair that wasn't yours.
- Oh my God.
- Did he physically
hurt you anywhere else?
- No, not exactly.
- That's a
straightforward question.
- He hurt me mentally.
- And why did you
go to his house
all alone in the woods
if you didn't know him?
- It was for a job.
- Which, he paid
you for in advance.
- Yeah, like 100 bucks.
- So this is your
profession, writing movies?
- No.
- But the screenplay
was about you?
- Yeah, sort of.
I mean, we were improvising.
- So when he tied you
up, was that improvising?
- No.
- So when did it stop
being improvising?
- As soon as he wouldn't
let me out of his house.
- He let you out earlier,
and you didn't want to go.
- Okay.
Look, I thought he
was gonna k*ll me.
He tied me up in his
house and forced me
to give him my passwords
and delete personal videos
that I worked on for five years.
Like he clearly set
the whole thing up.
- Videos?
Live Hive videos.
So, you're upset because he
didn't ask your permission.
Did you ask permission
of anyone in your videos?
- What if it's
still going on?
Oh my god.
What if it's not the
end of the movie?
- What movie?
- The movie that we're writing.
The Hitchcock twist ending.
Do you listen to
anything that I say?
- Yes, Hitchcock, I got you.
- How did he know my passwords
unless he was watching me?
Inside my apartment.
You're gonna say it with me.
- No, I can't get there.
- Okay, so...
He gives me the script and
then he lets me out unscathed.
Cut to one month later.
This is the climax of the movie.
We're in the climax
of the movie.
Thank you.
Okay.
- Door open.
Squeakers?
Squeakers!
Oh, hey, little guy.
Oh my God.
What are you doing,
you scared me.
Ah.
Hello?
Yeah, who is it?
Hello.
B-A-R-B-I-E.
We are the Collective.
And there's Tom.
In production.
f*ck!
Oh, come on!
What?
- Take it off.
- Are you lying?
- No.
I am the director and
you are my puppet.
You speak when I...
- Oh.
Oh, f*ck.
Oh my God.
Oh God.
What do you want from me?
Stop watching me,
you sick fucks!
Oh geez, don't hurt Squeakers.
Please don't hurt Squeakers.
You're
so f*cked up.
You're all so f*cked up.
Continue your movie.
Stay the star if
you can stay alive?
End your movie, become the
director, cast the next star.
Oh, Kai.
Follow Her (2022)
Moderator: Maskath3